Futurama - How Life Began!

woohoo this longdistance relationship is too much to bear when even an inch separates us I quiver with misery some things came off me and clogged the drain so if you could oh oh what's this you'll be delivering pain medicine to the hive mind of Nigel 7 [Music] Oh what now activate glass [Music] window oh it's so romantic it gives me the Shivers I don't care how much trouble I get in this is the hollow shed it can simulate anything you desire and nothing can hurt you this is so beautiful spirit K that's the pony I always wanted we could live here at the shore of the tranquilas sea in a time share and I would pluck the moon from the sky this isn't bad my aunt had a place like this Amy we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care holographic simulated evil Lincoln is back [Music] oh a man everyone appears fine oh and kef is pregnant aren't you a male yeah what's the deal just when I thought I'd figured out you biological creatures it's something else when one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so-called receptive State well okay but that better be all there is oh me you'll be a mother remember when zap blew a hole in the ship indeed K touched everybody there couldn't any one of us be the mother hey yeah I am the mother although maybe I'm not of course I hope I am but just in case I'm not maybe we should have a test the matern fuse will spin at 10,000 RPM separating out everyone who isn't the mother good Fri ejection indicates that he is not the man mama Amy this is all so confusing Leela how could you our love has had to endure your constant hatred and now this I know this is weird but yeah yeah we don't care how squishy alien get pregnant all we cares that we have grandchild now is it a new party board it's a board all right an ironing board oh this is the happiest moment of my life you all brought such wonderful gift gifts it's no I can't do this when will women learn to take responsibility for the children they've helped create the quickening if it's so dangerous I'd better go with you a gal has to protect her DNA my scrapes feel a little better now no one move smells like a jack [Music] [Applause] strap where is your smizmar she is not with me oh the sorrow Oh The Shame May the love I sense between you at this moment remain with you both through all your days Amy k w I do know I love you and I want to be here beside you great now I lost my place I'm starting over P Amy the bir nothing is complete yeah oh thank goodness I will now take my leave there goes my DNA what a disgusting and beautiful process that's birth for you good news everyone tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9 the virus Planet every member presents an invention and the best one wins the academy prize sounds boring sounds like fun how long do I have to live ooh dibs on his CD player who's the gross nerd that's me at the very first Symposium I'm the Academy's oldest living member you know it's time to leave science to the 120 year olds you Young Turks think you know everything a minus no one gives Ogden wistrom an A minus I'm sorry but penmanship can't Exquisite choices sir and mix them all together in a big jug let's just say it'll put you young whipper snappers in your place I just hope it's not as lame as that Death Clock you ented last year I'll have to invent something new in the next 10 minutes perhaps some sort of Death Clock uh professor professor just a second just a second pencils down prune face thanks to my new invention the smelloscope the smelloscope is brilliant I tell you think of the astronomical odors you'll smell thanks to me I give your invention the worst grade imaginable an A minus minus perhaps 149 is just too old to be a scientist yep did you build a smelloscope no I remembered that I built one last year smells like strawberries exactly and now Saturn pine needles here let me locate it for you no no I I think I'll just smell around a bit over here I dare say fry may have discovered the smelliest object in the known universe oh oh name it after me largest barge in 2052 the city used its mob connections to obtain a rocket now that the uh garbage is in Space Doctor perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibition fry what the hell were you people thinking back then how could you just throw your garbage away we gave the world the light bulb the steamboat and the cotton gin those things are all from the 19th century I got to be sure this isn't another scientific like global warming or secondhand smoke right you're holy [ __ ] horrible stench my God the sceni old man is right do you mean him or me him well makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles morbo agrees precisely on the fault line between this mass of coffee grounds and this deposit of americ America Online floppy disc after that it will be so close to Earth that blowing it up would cause garbage to rain over the entire planet turn on the anti- smell device huh sporty eat my shorts [Music] okay we're saved yeah but this garbage Ball's Unstoppable Now new New York is done for blame rests with known human Professor Hubert farnworth and his tiny inferior brain no one month my toilet broke and I just went straight in the garbage can ah of course but it'll cost you first I'll need tenure done and a big research Grant you got [Music] it density and consistency of the garbage ball it might just knock the ball away without smashing it to bits garbage isn't something you just find lying in the streets of Manhattan this city's been garbage free for 500 years well then it's time to make some more by God I think the boy's got something if my calculations are correct this garbage ball will knock the other garbage ball directly into the sun 5 six just fire the damn thing oops [Music] I now present you with the academy prize which we confiscated from Dr wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass were it not for your 20th century garbage making skills we'd all be buried under 20th century garbage it's none of our concern that's the 20th century Spirit I've been waiting a thousand years to see a beasty Boy show can I get anybody a beer sure boys [Applause] impressive they're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate how's it going enjoying the show don't forget to pick up a t-shirt hey watch it Fender Fry and Leela you know we're really not that interested in meeting them wow I love you [Music] guys easy baby I'll just be a minute hey do I preach to you when you're lion stoned in the gutter no so beat it obviously someone around here been wasting a whole heap of juice probably you Bender why are you spending so much time in the bathroom are you jacking on in there no don't come in you okay vender none of your business get off my back I feel weird and then he sold me my mom's VCR oh yeah that's the good stuff made a real Shin M but that don't impress the robot devil no sir no sir cuz if you're a sinner who will stand up and be saved don't we all look nice today great he's whacked out on electricity again no I'm whacked out on life if this helps Bender clean up his act then I think we should be supportive oh yes wonderful uh while you're at it could you touch up this seam I'll stick with good old mineral oil functional in the name of all that is good and logical we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb does that mean we can eat now yes but first since I love you all so much everyone line up for a hug let's tear down some emotional walls got to get the old Bender back and I think I know a way to do it we have to reacquaint him with a little thing called SAS this where are we delivering it to uh here but those girls don't wear cases you can see their bare circuits and there's hooker bot 5000 she's got a heart of solid gold hey say unit stop I'm the greatest woohoo you know as a major Hollywood director I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie I'm hallucinating this right no Pender robot hell is quite real if you sin you go to robot hell for all eternity Ah hell I mean heck h look it's the symbol of Bender's old religion gentlemen a crap singing mind if I smoke here on level one of robot hell o deep fried robots just tell me why please read this 55 page warant please stop sing while I'm singing I don't feel well it's up to us to resue himing diamonds fixing [ __ ] bites publishing in decent magazines of course that's just for [Applause] [Music] starters well we're boned [Music] run sorry a yeah a little less evil than that I don't know you think you could survive a 700 foot fall we've got a very special delivery today who's it going to me another job well done is it dangerous oh my know does that mean it's safe to breed the air of course you went to college of course I'm a Ben I went to bending College I majored in bending ah close enough you win again uhoh nerds allow me to introduce myself I'm gearshift chapter president anyway I should get going no Bender wait we're the lamest frat on campus even Hill has better parties than us I'm going to enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again you won't last 2 weeks ah Thanks for believing in me I made up the title so that no student would dare take it mathematics of wanton burrito meals oh my get a load of [Music] that two desks two chairs couple of beds a woodpecker I think that's probably your roommate my roommate's a monkey brilliant deduction you're a credit to your species is he genetically engineered oh please that's preposterous science fiction mumbo jumbo please stop bickering I arranged that you be roommates for a reason so I'd only have to remember one phone number this is going to be a cakewalk welcome to the history of the 20th century what I love about being dean of students is the peace and quiet and the respect I receive whenever a fire alarm is pulled it's robot house whenever the campus liquor store is looted robot house kept me sane these past 8 years my muddle ship fatbot no if you're not doing anything later might I escort you to a keger not even if you were the last man on Mars I got her number how do you like them bananas he kept me up all night with his constant thinking just thinking and thinking he's trying to make me look like an idiot if you two don't stop fighting I'll have you both neutered that'll show them I'm so glad we could admit Amy in exchange for your generous contribution h how much more for f Dappa how much you got special surprise for you Mom Dad what are you doing here no [Applause] stop well looks like the part's winding down look out he's got a gun hey hey cheer up not everyone turns out like their parents I mean look at me my folks were honest hardworking people I didn't even know monkeys could cry they can't it's all the hat and he's like a father to me but he's not your father that guy in the punch bowl was your [Music] father but gunter's obviously better off being intelligent tell him Leela uh-uh I'm staying out of this you all know the rules whichever house wins the rata becomes head of the Greek Council I say robot house your watercraft is as ill designed as you yourselves well I never just like the jungles on Earth jungles on Earth there's our man Professor you'll offer Gunter the Hat consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of banana banana banana [Music] you're the only one who can save us Eureka the Hat goes on the head it's all so obvious now grab on and as a monkey I was so dumb I tried to wear a hat on my butt go poor sweet monkey well let's go gather him up there's no sense letting him go to waste fix it no wait I like it like this I actually feel sort of happy I've decided to transfer to business school no honey unit I'm home Monique calculan I'm never going to another planet called cannibal on me neither food was good though thanking you for not reporting my countless violations of safety and minimum wage laws ah you hey uh where's my suitcase oh zap bran oh God I christen this ship dienic MH but uh I have a fiance now uh uh uh what where uh him where is it come on I'm tired of this room and everyone in it if you'll excuse me I'm going to pop over to the casino for the next 135 [Music] hours next shooter uh give me your biggest strongest cheapest drink you got it I'm the CEST deloka I was surprised to see another robot staying in first class most of the robots I meet are laborers I'm feeling the captain's itch I'll get the powder sir no the itch for adventure prepare to change course it's time to shove a jalapeno up the ship's tailpipe divert power from the shields Full Speed Ahead to marry him or at least use him to conceive a grandchild for us there he is at Buffet but it sure is beautiful out here yeah it's pretty romantic I mean platonic that that sure is one platonic view Leela perhaps this is an awkward time but if things don't work out with this pipsqueak here my boyfriend H it would have been nice if you told me you were going out with Amy I'm not going out with Amy it's just a fooler parents P either that was a Computing error or you're the most romantic robot I've ever met she a countess built with a silver spoon in her mouth and me just a regular honest Joe what are you doing this penniless chump was stealing drinks ma'am go Professor lean back more ow it's too l y backbone can't take it I'm just like Hermes I'm just like I like a man who's flexible your attention please but I didn't even limbo no matter I know from personal experience how horizontal you can get I'm a fraud a poor lazy sexy fraud [Music] [Applause] [Music] simply set a new course for that empty region over there near that blackish holishkes of now you're in command I'm to on to die hi come on before it's too late I'll tell him you went out prying the wedding ring off his cold dead finger I love you buddy I fell through the deck are you hurt my sweet no luckily a family broke my fall you risked your life to save me and I do it again and perhaps a third time but that would be it no no no one could squeeze under there no one except a legendary limbo champion [Music] Hermes I'm a class three yacht yep there are plenty of Escape pods we won't have to dress up like women and children the important thing is we found you a new man a captain oh Mom I don't hi it's our nebula whenever I see it I'll think back to that moment when we almost never mind something's wrong we're two metric tons overweight well it's not me I can't live without you if you let go I Let Go no no it's possible she's still alive in another dimension somewhere right Professor oh oh yes absolutely absolutely not a chance it's fake man party look at that worm go I won no purchase necessary unless you stand to the contest odds of winning mathematically insignificant I got to find that golden bottle cap Bender what's wrong obset you poor baby 900° bendon lie yourself down I didn't have the heart to tell him it's Finn fungus he'll be floating upside down by morning hey what's rattling around in there it may well be the cause of Bender's illness what should we point it at first I don't know try it on me ow my spr B what's wrong that's no lady d chica yeah all this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me thirsty I'm getting an idea no false alarm no yeah no yeah no ah this thing stinks we checked 990,000 cans of slurm and all we W was this junk you did it fry you found a win in bottle cap we won oh wow welcome to the planet wormmon slurms McKenzie all right wh wh wh in fact slurms has to party all night every night or he's fired Ro on W oh my look flowers and a boat they work here in the slurm factory tell them I hate them and mix it all with glacial spring water from our glacial spring waterer generator granal Lanas are inducing Wampus berries to release their flavor using sensual massage hey look the disgusting little men are starting to sing asking questions in school is a great way to learn if you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke I don't pay you to sing you just used up today's bathroom break hard ass I heard that then taste it some more ah can I have some slurm please no food or drink allowed on the tour gr L dun ingredient you should not ask about the secret ingredient okay okay you're telling me I could fire my whole staff and hire gruna Lunas at half the cost that's right I'm dying of thirst grab my feet and dunk my head in so I can drink no that's [Music] moronic ow where are we and why is the slurm pouring into this sewer this all must have something to do with the secret ingredient that's the secret ingredient of [Applause] [Music] slurm thanks Bender you wish you slimy [Music] worm it's disgusting is it honey comes from a bees behind milk comes from a cow's behind to the torture [Music] cave which in a matter of minutes will transform you into a slurm queen like myself but your highness she's a commoner what about me you are free to go yes if you can resist this concentrated super slurm Bor a [Music] petit farewell you pig stop stuffing your craw and save [Music] us I can't stop eating this delicious ooze but I'm not going to let you die just in time we're close to the exit I can smell those filthy orange guys you have to party with us all right when we get to Earth but please don't invite too many people I want to keep it [Music] small babes yes Mr Mackenzie you've served me well these 40 years but this time I've got to party alone party on slurs party on contest win this party Outlaw slurm uh don't pay any attention to him sir Grandpa's making up crazy stories again ah I just wish slurms McKenzie were here to enjoy this with me yeah that slurm sure loved to party hey it's not that bad [Music] he's a hell of a lot funnier than you could ever be maybe so but perhaps if I wrote him and asked for a few hundred pointers dear Uncle Zoid greetings from your long lost nephew norm and Sam and SES boy remember teach me the comedy business sincerely Zoid Bo oh isn't that nice he took the time the first funny thing you must do is put all your money in the form of a Cash's check and come to Hollywood you'll see 30th Century Fox Studios Fox uses those search lights to Blind Pilots then film the resulting plane crashes and do we have any fans of calculon star of the robot soap opera all my circuits are you my new hot water heater no I'm Bender we met once remember absolutely not chulan as your hot water heater I would be remiss if I didn't bring you scripts that can make you an International Film star and uh I guarantee it'll win you an Oscar an Oscar you say Harold Zoid was this written by the Harold Zoid written an zerox good Heavens ho here's your checkbook and you say you can guarantee me the Oscar I can guarantee you anything you want a more classic movie plot there isn't a son who does not want to follow in his father's business this is a talki so I want the full gamut of emotion from every actor in every scene not mine cut cut cut it P I said this is a talk damn it you've got to emote more I just pray they like me half as much as I do I agreed to be your vice president but I never agreed to be your son my only goal in life is to attend a Hollywood shindig just pay the valet of the two bucks no it's the principle of the thing besides I think I see a parking lot up ahead no my son will not shame me like this I would sooner die I would H the ledge everyone walked out they hated it I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this you get me that Oscar or you're dead you and these sniveling lobsters dead you hear me dead you know the second I don't win that award your cat food right boxy it's been 2 weeks you want to play tic tac toe again before we eat our shoes no it's some kind of hollow tube devoid of human life the Los Angeles Subway I think they're up to riding that just leaves best soft drink product placements and then best actor we don't have much time to present the award for best actor a bit play player in the flap movie The Magnificent 3 Dr zoyberg and instead of the fifth guy calculan for his Powerhouse performance in the Magnificent 3 and the winner is [Music] Harold thank you nephew now I can die Happy 10 seconds from now when calculon guils us someday I hope to win one of my own then you're not going to kill us your majesty nay Quake I've got somebody's Oscar oh pardon me I see you're with Mr Stallone

Channel: SkyFortress

Views: 26,593

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Id: -d10tDLUShY

Length: 33min 46sec (2026 seconds)

Published: Mon May 06 2024