Futurama - Leela Met First Captain!

[Music] oh where's the professor yeah probably dead already dissolving in a bathtub if we're lucky I remember it like it was interesting I had just built my new shipping and receiving Emporium we'll deliver that package or die trying hey it's all my favorite patients and also Captain Tucker Lando don't forget about me and Junior I won't honey or die trying go you big metal bird get up there Amanda's aunt called to say her niece hadn't received her cookie bouquet what happened up there Johnny oh don't make me remember so horrible it was sadly my Brave crew was gone forever the Bermuda tetrahedron is just a myth I'm glad you're so brave in the face of the unknown Leela you'll be picking up a monument commemorating my lost crew to be unveiled Tuesday at their memorial ceremony Bermuda tetrahedron woo wait the Bermuda tetrahedron terrified brace yourselves it's tickle me Elmo's Fire it's a spaceship graveyard why do we have to come here at night look at all these famous lost ships whatever happened here that first crew left in a hurry the the table is still set for McDonald's value dinner all right and there was a giant killer space wheel it's a space mammal wow interesting I'm both impressed and being eaten relax friends Panic jerks Avenge the loss of that Monument I could marry you and Bender against your will if I wanted to you wouldn't dare I've been married to worse we need to talk you've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News they're not not the space Behemoth it's a mutiny led by fry that's enough insubordination Mr Fry string them up things look bad enough without having to look closer at them and giraffes are basically just land space whales Miss Wong you have the poon I'm having a serengetti flashback die you dirty giraffe we're going for a sleigh ride b b b they are giant diamonds Come to Papa I warned you fry Zoidberg I Now Pronounce You Man and unsit me Mr Conrad we can't let the whale win hi I found [Music] him hello think Zoidberg you must remember something shut up Zoidberg oh Zoidberg The Grieving relatives will be gathered here tomorrow in need of comfort right on sister we should be back at Planet Express right now hiding from work in the ceiling but no I was once Lando Tucker captain of the first planet Express Ship e figured out long ago that no one's more obsessed than space captains I'm not obsessed the whale is Obsession Leela and you are the whale I am the whale see 50 years of crippling sorrow popsicles here can't mourn the dead without a popsicle what a pleasure to see so many miserable faces Lon oh no my deal is doing the thing fill your gaping mouth with a popsicle at first I was consumed by a dark Obsession to kill the whale then I was consumed by the whale an obsession with completing my delivery Lando told you I'd be back you've grown Junior I'm 61 the whale must have some kind of mobious colon that endlessly recycles time in space yep so Johnny are we going to pick up where we left off fire in the hole amazing if you don't enter I'll just kill myself okay okay no wait me in a dance contest grp greetings Merchant I need something beautiful and cheap for a lady who is one of those things these flower shears are so dull oh thank you zindy you're even more beautiful from a distance Johnny cakes oh oh my God the smell's coming from you I can't see you anymore something's come up it's vomitting they're unused oh I'm sorry I get so little business I can't afford refunds please don't cry I can't stand to see a living thing feel pain you are a living thing right can I have a refund now I have $3 in moldy pennies it's all yours that's generous of you oh no you don't Mr big jerk I have nothing to live for bash my head in W what is that must have guas you were so brave and Frugal I'm sorry don't hit me ooh I like the way you hit I'm smellier than a wh House's out house that's terribly Vivid doesn't matter to me though I was born with no sense of [Music] smell I like your dumpster thank you the previous tenant was a very prominent raccoon welcome f I'm Randy coordinator of this tap dance of paloa woohoo Randy the extra click on you'll he is going to be my hip it's not good for my pacem maker a that is one quality pacemaker bullying in the workplace is unacceptable and will not be tolerated out of my way fatty I'm practicing what's the catch she looks normal she's not a hologram not a mobo slave Dr Zoidberg she's great she's the best thing that ever happened to me she has no sense of smell it for the first time in my life I'm truly happy you nuts if she could smell she'd smell you your relationship would be over faster than you could say so you're right I can never tell her you're doing the right thing let the battle begin man bender and Tanya I just want to have fun I'm going to kick your ass little girl you know everything about flowers everything but how they smell ah I'd give anything to be able to smell a flower like that we have in the doctor world something called a nose transplant I can give you a surgery so right before she dances I'll sneak in and put Rusty tacks in them the harder she dances the more she bleeds seems like a solid plan don't you lay a hand on that angel angel I've looked into her eyes and seen her soul she's a monster the chance championship's mine robot aw I think it's Noble of you to give marann a new nose Dr zoyberg help bander what happened to your leg tube I got beat up by a little girl it's time may I have one last kiss oh there'll be lots more smell you later then let's begin this delicate [Music] procedure oops looks like you already did you are an evil heartless troll it's time for some fancy schmancy Dancy hit it [Music] me ow Bender [Music] the doctors say my heart doesn't work very good but it feels good today cuz I got to dance She's a pig I'm going to tap dance on her grave someday little heart attack this time you can describe their beautiful Aroma to me ah ah much better you smell just like I dreamed you would she's gone woohoo in your Dead face little girl stop the robot has to [Music] go she's alive Bender's rhythmic chest compressions restarted her heart he's a big old hero just cuz you saved my life doesn't mean I won't beat you down again irredeemably evil together we shall rule the galaxy Maran yes I've got a new job and I'm going to have to dump you I like your nerd glasses are you a college student a college student over there where I mean over here sorry I forgot where I was decisions decisions I guess I'll sit waying back with the cool guys falling in with a bad crowd I know right also I've decided to drop out of school here's your Justin's ring [Music] ooh you like it eh I can take it to leave it I guess I'll take it yeah I'm ready I'll take take that big purple dinosaur please on the face that was close hey Fabricio rest in peace homie simply vomit on me ever so gently while I humiliate a pheasant no way I'm letting go of that [Music] money be addiction and discount PR institution man you had one hell of a day I've made a lot of bad choices in life now let's see if I can make just one good one not guilty although I did do it that's right I'm bad admission you see Bender here is what is known in scientific circles as a robot can you convict him for his actions when he lacks the free will to undertake those actions I'm you did it Bender you got away with things did I fry did I I'm guilty bis get that innocent robot out of my courtroom guilty I am not the master of my own fate build me some kind of free will unit a robot Free Will unit impossible good news everyone we have a delivery to the robot home world so Bender needs to make the delivery ready to get to work Bender oh yes that's me hang on let me just make sure you're not a human ah nerve gas I'm lowering the platform you ready to come up yeah why bother not sure I think he's shuffling off sadly into the distance oh Lord [Music] so if you want a chat roll up your sleeves and do some honest labor I don't want to chat we will make the most important decisions in the history of our planet silence Silence cast out the Intruder all in favor I okay [Music] 1 1 Welcome friend I am Abbot the Abbot of this Monastery with no deviation whatsoever we choose to take satisfaction in the ritual [Music] let us know what is in his mind nothing his Free Will slot is empty I know that creatrix that's mom from Mom's friendly robots indeed we monks have sworn an oath to resist the temptation of hey I'm here that's got to count for something I need you guys to plan the crime and make all the crime decisions well that's crazy we're not going to I said make the decision then how are we going to get in by bending the bars of this exhaust grate that's not a bad idea fry Y [Music] [Applause] [Music] what did you find everything you were burgling for no I came for a free will unit and you're going to give it to me if it exists good news boss after 10 long years I found the secret of robotic Free Will Wait a Minute it sounds like we're getting the short end of that extermination but but it's just a prototype it's uh not fully operational here to this day my poor sweet robots can't exterminate Humanity without being told to hand it over M may have fallen for your lies but not me proud of myself so I kept it around never letting it out of my sight where is it damn it oh you want it come and get it I may not have free will but I can still shoot you damn [Laughter] you there give it a try okay I will by shooting you you bastard I guess you really don't want to shoot me after all oop the safety was on on the charge of attempted murder I hereby find you guilty we've got a very special delivery today who's it going to me another job well done is it dangerous oh my no we had no idea there was a university on Mars well in those days Mars was just a dreary un inhabitable Wasteland does that mean it's safe to breed the air of course you went to college of course I'm a bender I went to bending College I majored in bending ah close enough you win again uhoh nerds allow me to introduce myself I'm gearshift chapter president anyway I should get going no Bender wait we're the lamest frat on campus even Hill has better parties than us step right up who wants to learn physics certified College Dropout please everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive daycare centers I'm going to enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again you won't last two weeks ah Thanks for believing in me I made up the title so that no student would dare take it mathematics of wanton burrito meals hey oh my [Music] get a load of [Music] that two desks two chairs couple of beds a woodpecker I think that's probably your roommate my roommate's a monkey brilliant deduction you're a credit to your species is he genetically engineered oh please that's preposterous science fiction mumbo jumbo please stop bickering I arranged that you be r mates for a reason so I'd only have to remember one phone number this is going to be a cakewalk welcome to the history of the 20th century Swiss you were saying Mr Fry light bright I believe the answer is the television what I love about being dean of students is the peace and quiet and the respect I receive whenever a fire alarm is pulled it's robot house whenever the campus liquor store is looted robot house kept me sane these past 8 years my model ship fatbot no if you're not doing anything later might I escort you to a keger not even if you were the last man on Mars I got her number how do you like them bananas he kept me up all night with his constant thinking just thinking and thinking he's trying to make me look like an idiot if you two don't stop fighting I'll have you both neutered that'll show them I'm so glad we could admit Amy in exchange for your generous contribution how much more for five bet Kappa how much you got special surprise for you Mom Dad what are you doing here no [Applause] stop well looks like the part's winding down look out he's got a gun hey hey hey cheer up not everyone turns out like their parents I mean look at me my folks were honest hardworking people I didn't even know monkeys could cry they can't it's all the hat and he's like a father to me but he's not your father that guy in the punch bowl was your father [Music] ah why why why didn't I break his legs he tied with fry I guess he realized I was right when I told him to go back to the Jungle you what but gunter's obviously better off being intelligent tell him Leela uh-uh I'm staying out of this you all know the rules whichever house wins the rata becomes head of the Greek Council I say robot house your watercraft is as ill designed as you yourself well I never just like the jungles on Earth jungles on Earth there's our man Professor you'll offer Gunter the Hat consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of banana banana banana [Music] you're the only one who can save us Eureka the he goes on the head it's all so obvious now grab on go and as a monkey I was so dumb I tried to wear a hat on my butt poor sweet monkey well let's go gather him up there's no sense letting him go to waste fix it no wait I like it like this I actually feel sort of happy I've decided to transfer to business school no pizza delivery wow so this is a real TV station huh well it's a fox affiliate I'm in counselor I remind you that it's unethical to sleep with your client oh my God you knocked Fox off the air could you repeat that last part what in the name of Bob marly's ghost get to work you lazy bolt bag ow who's up for one last summer beach trip oh yeah fry Freddy H I think I'll just stay here everyone's too polite to say anything but you're covered with bed sores not covered just get in the car Wait Mount Rushmore and the Leaning Tower of Pisa I didn't know they were both in New York they are now oh just like my dad used to make until McDonald's fired him I think there's one can left oh my I'm not attracted to bullies no matter how big and handsome they are it's okay Leela go ahead although I suppose we could go for a walk on the beach uh no thanks ma'am I'm actually gay all right all right I'll bust you out pretend you're happy y what in [Music] Babylon we're all going to die aren't we today's winning lotto number was four in other news alien saucers continue to Reign destruction upon Earth whatever they want people of Earth I am lure of the planet Omron per8 mankind would sooner perish than cow toow to outrageous alien demands for this mcneel [Applause] hey look Leela it's that idiotic windbag you slept with well you heard the windbag we've been drafted everyone into the ship whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on it is every robot's duty to give his life for the good of humanity oh crap going to have to learn to die together am I right Soldier well actually I sir yes sir sir this is turning into one very sexy struggle for the future of the human race the alien mother ship is in Orbit here if we can hit that Bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards well wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first and Leela perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make love to me I'm going to be a science fiction hero Just Like Ur or Captain Janeway or Zena fry this isn't TV Bender damage report the auxiliary power is out and they spilled my cocktail we did it we won the mother's ship is [Music] destroyed stop exploding you cowards this is hopeless if we're going to get blown to bits we might as well do it in the comfort of our own home oh God you're alive I mean thank God you're alive sorry C and get him you are not mcneel huh she wears mini skirts and is promiscuous really mini skirts that sounds familiar this is the mcneel wait I know her you do not you big fat liar we will raise your planet's temperature by 1 million degrees a day for 5 days [Music] s that I'm also having a hot naked affair with the of this jury I'll see you doing the recess where were you on the 9th of August 23rd sleeping with you aha well it took an hour to write I thought it would take an hour to read what are we supposed to do now I'm giving up the law and I'm giving up being single your honor will you marry me Jenny can't get married why not it's clever it's unexpected but that's not why people watch TV you see TV audien don't want anything original they want to see the same thing they've seen a thousand times before I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage for you see I'm dying cough then fall over dead hoay and cut single female lawyer as a result we will not destroy your planet but neither will we provide you with our recipe for immortality at the end of the episode everything's always right back to normal honey unit I'm home Monique calculan [Music] party look at that worm Co I won no purches necessary unless you stand for the contest odds of winning mathematically insignificant I got to find that golden bottle cap Bender what's wrong obset you poor baby 900° bendon lie yourself down I didn't have the heart to tell him it's Finn fungus he'll be floating upside down by morning hey what's rattling around in there it may well be the cause of Bender's illness I call this the Fay it's like an x-ray only it allows you to see through anything even metal aha there's the cause of your illness hey that's my watch what should we point it at first I don't know try it on me ow my sperm what's wrong that's no lady d chica yeah all this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me thirsty I'm getting an idea no false alarm no yeah no yeah no ah this thing stinks we checked 990,000 cans of slurm and all we won was this junk you did it fry you found a win in bottle cap we won wow welcome to the planet wormmon slurms McKenzie all right wh wh wh in fact slurms has to party all night every night or he's fired Ro on oh my look flowers and a boat they work here in the slurm factory tell them I hate them and mix it all with glacial spring water from our glacial spring water generator granal Lanas are inducing Wampus berries to release their flavor using sensual massage hey look the disgusting little men are starting to sing asking questions in school is a great way to learn if you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke I don't pay you to sing you just used up today's bathroom break hard ass I heard that then taste it some more ah can I have some slurm please no food or drink allowed on the tour grun L dunany ingredient you should not ask about the secret ingredient okay okay you're telling me I could fire my whole staff and hire grun Lunas at half the cost that's right I'm dying of thirst grab my feet and dunk my head in so I can drink no that's [Music] moronic where are we and why is the slurm pouring into this sewer this all must have something to do with the secret ingredient do you have any that aren't so tight around the thorax oh yeah I'm never going 12 minutes without a slurm again that's the secret ingredient of [Applause] [Music] slurm thanks Bender you wish you slimy [Music] worm it's disgusting is it honey comes from a bees behind milk comes from a cow's behind to the torture [Music] cave which in a matter of minutes we'll transform you into a slurm queen like myself but your highness she's a common what about me you are free to go yes if you can resist this concentrated super slurm Bor A [Music] petitte Farewell you pig stop stuffing your craw and save [Music] us I can't stop eating this delicious ooze but I'm not going to let you die just in time hey we're close to the exit I can smell those filthy orange guys you have to party with us all right when we get to Earth but please don't invite too many people I want to keep it [Music] small babes yes Mr McKenzie you've served me well these 40 years but this time I've got to party alone party on slurs party on contest winners party on Outlaw slurm uh don't pay any attention to him sir the Grandpa's making up crazy stories again I just wish slurms McKenzie were here to enjoy this with me yeah that slurm sure loved to party hey that's not that bad

Channel: SkyFortress

Views: 105,544

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Id: BnxbJnmhGo0

Length: 34min 56sec (2096 seconds)

Published: Thu May 23 2024