"Friends and Unfriends" - Pastor Wayne Cordeiro

well if you're watching by streaming we want to welcome you to our continued and series called God's home remedies and we want to talk not about just family today but what extends outside of our families to our lives that we have to deal with every single day we want to talk about today friends and unfriend there's a lot of new words in the dictionary aren't there since social media became the rage like unfriend we've never had that word before let me tell you a story about unfriending somebody old story classic story of these three guys from Hawaii were fishing off lanai and they their boat capsizes now they're in a raft floating off towards Guam somewhere there in the middle of the ocean for days at sea they're dehydrated they're about ready to die when up comes this bottle bobbing next to their raft one of the guys grabs it figuring that maybe there's some water in there and when pops off there the cork whoosh out comes a genie Christian genie at that because this is Church and we have to you know make sure so this Christian genie comes out and she says thank you for releasing me and for that I'm going to give you three wishes and since there's three of you in the boat you only get one each but there's no refunds no returns or whatever you wish for that's it the first guys a Japanese guy he goes all this so good I want to be back at the home drinking a tea went to my waifu' and a family and all of a sudden poof he's gone the other two look at each other and the genie says you're next the Hawaiian guy says old man I like go back Waikiki drink pineapple juice with my Wawa all of a sudden poof he's gone the genie turns to the third a Portagee guy and she says now it's your turn what would you wish he starts crying he said I miss my friends so much I like therefore come back you want to unfriend that one as quickly as you can now let me ask you be truthful how many of you have done one of these four things let me give all four of them to you and then be truthful now here it is have you ever unfriended someone or have you ever unfollowed someone or have you unsubscribe to someone or in a music software have you put a thumbs down on an artist how many of you have done one of the four above raise your hand shame on you shame shame on you no actually you're the heroes of this message because I want to talk about friends and unfriend because see sometimes we friend those we should unfriend and we unfriend those we should friend in life the scripture is gonna come out of the book of Proverbs and it'll come up on the board so would you read it with me go he who walks with wise men will be wise but the companion of fools suffer harm do you get the consequences try it again he who walks with wise men will be wise but the companion of fools suffer here's the principle the principle is this whatever the characteristics are of those that you hang around with either good or bad will eventually seep in to you the characteristics of those that you hang around with either good or bad will eventually seep in to you see if you're spending time with those who are inspiring encouraging if you're spending time with those who challenge themselves to be better to deepen their own faith with God they're men and women of integrity honesty and they think well well eventually the same characteristics you're gonna find seeping into you and you want to do the same however if you hang around with those who grumble find fault with people all the time gossip whose lives are kind of mediocre who flip from one thing to another all the time they hold grudges they're offended easily and they have a terrible time forgiving people then you through absorption will start to take on those qualities if you hang around those who compromise eventually you'll find yourself starting to what compromise if you hang around people who degrade their spouses or deprioritize their families then they're not for you someone once said it this way you want to know what you're gonna be like in two years four years seven years look at your friends that you spend the most time with we have a great prison ministry here at new hope we go to the federal pen and to Halawa and then we even go to Arizona where there's an incarceration camp where many of the Hawaii inmates are housed and sometimes I'll go with them you know what I found the number one problem is symptom eyes there and what is that I'll go in there and talk to some of the inmates and and it'll come to a part in our conversation where I'll look at them and say you know you are such a nice person how did you end up in a place like this more often than not here's what they say um I think it's cuz I hung around with uh yeah yeah I mean we all know it it's so obvious usually 90% to 95% of the time it's because of the wrong crowd they hooked up with but they only found out too late I sincerely believe that God has some people that he's assigned to be friends in your life that will help you inspire you encourage you in a times challenge you and it's there God divine appointed but often we unfriend those because they challenge us they hold us accountable we'll unfriend those we should friend and we friend those we should unfriend I want to challenge you to get that right today so that you'll begin to recognize those whom God has appointed for you so that you will reach your full purpose and never live beneath your potential God has actually appointed people to help you the case in point is Mark chapter 2 Jesus is teaching in a house and it's just packed with people for friends find their paralytic buddy and they try to get him to Jesus but because of the crowd and it's packed full house standing-room-only they think outside of the box they bring this guy up on the roof plow a hole in the roof and this is the precursor to today skylights they open that baby up let this guy down right in front of Jesus there's a ray of light coming in and here's what the Bible says this is amazing you know what it says it says this and Jesus looking up and seeing their faith said you're gonna be alright now catch this he didn't look at the paralytics faith he didn't look at the person there in front of him and said you know because you've got a lot of faith you're gonna do good no it says looking up and seeing their faith face for me and laypeople looking through the sky like like this thinking what's wrong with this picture and Jesus looked up and said oh man and seeing their faith he looked back down and said you're gonna be alright you your sins are gonna be taken care of and you're gonna come to a point of healing you're gonna have a good future and everything that God's designed for you you're not going to compromise you know why look up there you recognized good friends you selected well check it out and looking up and seeing their faith their faith jesus said you're gonna be okay see if you think about it I believe God has appointed certain people to be a part of your life when things are going wrong they come to you I think you should start out with at least four people where you can write down their names and the qualities that you're looking for in a friend and go after them develop a relationship with them and men I would say to you you need to have four friends that when you're drifting off and listen when you can't make it to Jesus on your own they will get you there because there's going to be times in your life you're discouraged you're depressed you're disparage and you can't get to Jesus on your own power and you're gonna need some friends that will carry you there if need be listen men they need to love you so much these are the four friends you're gonna need that if you're in another ladies house and you shouldn't be in these four friends should drive up and bang on that door you don't open it they bust the door down and they grab you and pull you out by the hair and if you don't want to go they push you into the car you don't want to go in the car they should punch your head and if you still don't want to get in they should duct-tape you to a stretcher put you on top their car and drive down h1 and even though you're screaming bloody murder you should be thanking God for for friends like that because there's times you're not going to be able to get to Jesus on your own regardless it could be a bad heart it could be a bad attitude it could be a bad situation or you just fell on hard times or you're just proud or stubborn you need four friends that will challenge you and say we love you too much to let you be the swing we love you just like you are but we love you too much to let you stay like this we're gonna get you to Jesus and that's the kind of people that the Lord says you need to be able to recognize because if you don't you're gonna unfriend those you should friend and you're gonna friend those you should unfriended and walked away from recently like many of you I've been watching some of the television footage of the Baltimore riots as you might know Freddie gray 25 year old man was injured in his fine and because of that passed away died and six policemen are being held accountable for this homicide now a full investigation is going on we don't want to take sides too quickly because there is a full investigation going on and and it seems like these guys that are they're gonna face justice but nevertheless you want to pause but there's a group of hooded young men and women that to disguise themselves they put hoods on mask their face and they went into Anarchy I mean to tell you they're torching buildings they're burning stores like there's no reason to do that they didn't have anything to do with it these store owners could be completely innocent and then they go and steal they just steal stuff and then they're destroying cards of people who had nothing to do with anything they'll find the car and they're just into this like lynch mob mentality so they're destroying things it's funny just on a side note sometimes when you're so convinced that you're so right you're in danger of being so wrong because sometimes when you're so convinced that you're right it's somehow you somehow you're deceived into taking license to damage other people and steal and loot do you know that over a hundred police officers have been injured and two have been shot because of this so it's sort of like that was wrong but this isn't and there's a deception that takes place well one of the rioters I was looking at watching one of the rioters in the midst of his activities his best friend shows up to inspire is wrong thinking back to the right way and that was his mother I want to show you a little clip of I think I think there's a scripture that says a friend loveth at all times but a mother is born for adversity so let's take a look at this clip I want you to see this super bear there's one two three point sermon right there and she's convincing him to think better to be wise to be honorable and don't go with the wrong crowd she said did you hear me and please face me when I talk to you come here I love you too want to hug you hug and so she's gonna pop oh yeah if I'm just reminding you again and so she is gonna follow him now this goes on for another minute or so and you need to see that I was thinking go you go girl you go you go now some of you are looking at me like why do you play such a violent video in church don't give me that you were watching a fight last night that paid millions of dollars and you come here and go what give me that I can see it in your eyes but you don't hit an interview right after this then that little that guy was being asked would you feel about this you know what he said he said I was really embarrassed but I needed exactly what my mom gave me because I was hanging out with the wrong crowd you know by the way another crowd is now trying to indict her for child abuse I mean it's just stupid so easy because sometimes our best friends our parents young people because they're gonna challenge you in a way that will inspire you to think differently now it's no fun and you'll be really embarrassed but one day down the line you're gonna look backwards and say I'm so glad I'm so glad they did I'm so glad listen carefully sometimes we as parents are so afraid of the reaction of our kids that we allow them to start to live mediocre lives and compromise what kind of friend are you well I don't say anything because I want to be their friend know they should unfriend you that's the kind of friend you want to be you need to challenge them encourage them to think well be a peeper a person of integrity to be a person that deepens his or her faith with God who disciplines his or her self from running with the wrong crowd and even though it's challenging you need to say that's my friend but sometimes parents say well I don't want to make them mad at me so I kind of let them live a mediocre life and let them just settle for less and let them live beneath their potential because I don't want to have reaction from them is that the kind of friend you want around you if you're saying you want to be their friend then be a parent because there's nothing better than being a parent who understands what friendship really is I look at that video and I think happy Mother's Day I love it I love it so all that to say is be selective just because some friend of yours lives down the street doesn't mean that that person is your friend or unfriend somebody because they challenge you be careful otherwise you may not recognize the very ones that God has divinely appointed for your life that God would look at you and saying you'll be all right because you recognize these four men's faith their God ordains I mean Jesus is an example of this you take a look at the 12 disciples it does not say that Jesus ended up with 12 no he chose 12 what he chose did you know that is one of the most important selections of your life will be the selection of those you call friends and you choose to hang out with and I'd suggest you start with 4 and just write down those characteristics people that'll help you people that'll speak words of counsel into your life challenge you to be better inspire you to rise higher motivate you to be a better person someone to love your family more love your spouse more by their example let me tell you about a friend of mine he and I started in ministry together when I was in my early 20s and he's a some vanna's and my best friends we hang out with them they live in Oregon and and we hang out with them every chance we get - we go to dinner as soon as we go up there I call him hey let's go to dinner and catch up and we've been together for probably 40 years now well he got married and had couple of children but later on his wife developed a mental illness and because of that one day he came home and she had taken her own life with a pistol to find that not only was shocking but it broke his heart when I heard of that I flew out of here and the next plane to get over there and spent a week with them as we just processed this thing and made our friendship isn't even deeper well later on he met a beautiful lady and they got married and I did his wedding and and it's just a wonderful thing but but the interesting thing is he loves his wife now his new wife he loves her so much there's pictures of them together all over his house I mean you know in this position that posture and this smile on this and it's just like everywhere every room we go into not only that if that's not enough he buys her a fully restored showroom quality 56 Chevy and that if that's not enough he hires a professional video crew to come and film her driving this thing into the sunset with her hair blowing and a music playing in the background and if that's not enough he actually gets as professional production to do a CD for her and he has all of this nice music and he's singing to her now he's no Michael Buble but he's singing to her and the jacket the pack packaging of this CD is the best I've ever seen even professionally done there's pockets in there and there's a little pamphlet in there that tells about their story as husband and wife and how they came together and got to know one another and I look at all of these things I mean it is so romantic and about makes you puke but you know every time I leave after having spent time with him I want to be a better person I want to love my wife more my wife has a sore throat today so she's watching via streaming so honey forget it you don't get a 56 Chevy forget it get it out of your mind remind me of the story this this lady gets up in the morning and and she says to her husband honey I I had a dream last night that I was wearing a five carat diamond ring what do you think that means he said you'll find out tonight so she's oh this is wonderful well he goes off to work and comes back and that night he presents her a beautifully wrapped was a nice ribbon this little gift in a rectangular box she excitedly opens it up and there's a little book with the title the meaning of dreams okay let's get back to the message here we're drifting off to Guam like those three guys but I sincerely believe that God has prepared certain people to cross your path that'll add to your life let me give you another example Solomon Solomon was a new king at this time and we're gonna read out of first kings now you're gonna see how there's appointed offices in his life and he's gonna name a few the enlist actually is twice as long as what we'll read but what we'll read is enough to get the point and it'll come up on the board and let's read it together go Ben I a son of jehoiada was commander in chief Azariah the son of nathan was over the deputies and Zavod a priest was the king's friend and a char was over the household and ad Niram was over the men subject to forced labor now I could see if I were Zavod I would say wait a minute wait a minute so um and Solomon hold on you know you have all these offices and of all these people they have nice big cold doors and Benaiah his says his label says commander in chief whoo wow that's pretty cool and then Azariah he is like deputies director wow that's so cool and then a nice char who's over the household his will be Homeland Security you know and then over here a deny army's over the subject of forced labor so his would read IRS and so all of these have really important labels and mind says friend that is so lame could I have something like bigger I know yours is friend no no cuz the other sounds so powerful couldn't I be a butcher a baker or candlestick maker anything no yours is friend Solomon come out Zavod your plate on your door is gonna say friend but no of all the positions that you mentioned yours is above all the most powerful and the most important never forget that Sabbath a priest was the King's friend you see I wonder if we don't recognize them or maybe if God's called us to be one we don't think it's important enough but God's going to point for you or maybe appointed you to be one but God's going to appoint friends ordained to help but sometimes we're hanging with the wrong crowd that we can't let go of the crowd here but if you're unwilling to walk away from certain ones you'll never walk into God's ordained ones if you're unwilling to separate yourself from the wrong ones you'll never find the ones who are right that God is connecting you to you have to be willing to make that change well you say how do you do that well not necessarily brashley but and be rude but you just start distancing yourself from them I mean don't you be sitting in the employees lunchroom sitting around listening to gossip and it's people running everybody down and you're afraid to separate yourself from them because they might get offended let me tell you what's worse than them possibly getting offended it's you living beneath your potential the rest of your life and never coming into the full promises of God had promised for you designed for you from the beginning of time but you never claimed it one man whose name is Fred Smith said for me hell is not just fire hell as me one day God showing me what my life could have been if I would have only walked by his principles more and what we're hearing today are the principles of God I wish when I were 16 years old someone would have shared this with me but I just pulled friends in by default played in the same band or we play on the same basketball team and and I probably lost years of my life because the wrong associations that I had so God is saying sometimes you need to separate yourself from but here's another thought sometimes you just outgrow relationships you just outgrow some friendships I mean God the same God that opens doors remembers the same God that may close doors and you have to recognize both and as willing as you were to walk through you have to also say I won't walk through because God is the same God that opens doors and sometimes he closes them sometimes friends come into your life for a season short medium long and you outgrow that you outgrow it because God is calling you on to something else and their path is not the same as yours you've got to be willing to go because God works in seasons in your life and it's okay no regrets you're thankful for that season that you had with that person but sometimes we're so change of verse we're so against change that we don't want to let it go and when that happens you get stuck and your growth stops and you maintain and life gets boring and then you start getting distracted and things go bad where did it start by me unwilling to be unstuck and move on with what God has called me to be don't be afraid of that in a helo I had a really good buddy we had bought motorcycles together and we rode together we went to conferences together did ministry together but after a while when God said to Anna and me we were to come to Honolulu and start here he got very upset because he didn't want it to change he had a buddy that he could do things with now and so I said no I our season's over I've got to get over there and do what the Lord's telling me to do and he was very terse very angry when Anna laughs and what was a good friendship turn to be an unfriend he unfriended me in a big way some people would come to me and say hey Wayne you just got to go shake hands and make up it's like no I love them yeah but it shouldn't be we're two good friends and then it's broken so you know we are still good friends as far as I'm concerned however our geography is gonna change and I've grown to a different level and different season of my life not better than just a different season and I've got to follow Christ and you know what I have no regrets of that friendship it was a wonderful eight or so years that we spend his buddies and ministry enjoying what God was doing in the church but it's time for me to move on no I don't feel guilty about it I don't feel mad about it I don't feel regretful I think I don't think Oh shucks I am so thankful for that season but it's time to grow forward and the same is true with each of us sometimes we're just gonna outgrow some things that's alright but please remember the people you hang around with will greatly affect what your future holds you're gonna be alright son you chose well and seeing their faith he said my son you'll be okay you're gonna have a great future as another example let's turn to proverbs 22 of the board and let's put your attention there and let's read this would you go do not associate with a man given to anger girls listen or go with a hot-tempered man or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself did you catch that do not associate and what that means is it's a choice you must make don't--i so then don't go with a hot-tempered man now some of you wives are here go and praise the Lord you just defined my husband I knew God was good and get it give me a word he's now gonna be my ex-husband I'm glad I came to church today no-no-no if that's your spouse or your children or your parents you're stuck you're joined-at-the-hip that your family is something that you're gonna learn character and it's a bootcamp for life you've got to solve it there and God's just gonna hold you together because you have to sometimes get fried and go through some filters and burn and burn some bad stuff out so that you'll allow good stuff in later on sometimes it's a cauldron and he's gonna turn up the heat but it's good it's a boot camp sometimes young ladies will come to me and say you know I'm dating so-and-so how do you know whether or not this guy is like maybe a green like possibility to be a husband one day how do you know and I say to the young women I say when you're dating that person you go to his house watch how he treats his mother what do you mean she'd say say well if he calls his mother like oh you know that hag wash what a nag she is I wish you'd get off my back I wish my mother would just get a life unfriend him immediately she said why I said because if he treats his mother that way you get married he's gonna treat you exactly the same way because that's a habit something that's been tolerated in his family unit know your family is a place where it's a boot camp for life and you want to make sure that you win well but I want to want to talk about where necessarily you don't have a choice let me talk about the huge portion of your life in which you do have a choice let me talk to you about another example Daniel in Daniel chapter 5 and verse 11 it says Daniel had a spirit of excellence he had an excellent spirit and you wonder why did he have such an excellent spirit I bet because he hung around with excellent friends he said well who were his friends you want to know I'll tell you his friends were Shadrach Meshach and Abednego in fact all four of them were taken exile out of Jerusalem into the Babylonian captivity Daniel's name would be changed to Belteshazzar but his Hebrew name was Daniel the Hebrew name of those three kids Azariah Hananiah Mishael changed their names through Shadrach Meshach Abednego these were the three men that King Nebuchadnezzar said when you see this golden idol you are to bow down to my idol and you know what those three men said we will not sin against our God we will stand fast men of integrity men of great faith the King said if you don't bow down to this Idol we're gonna throw you into that furnace of blazing fire what do you think about that Oh King we don't need to answer you but if you throw us in that furnace of fire our God who we serve will rescue us but even if he does not we will not serve your God we will serve the King of Kings Wow they were thrown into the furnace of fire and God by a miracle rescued them Nebuchadnezzar's life was changed by these three men do you see who Daniel hung out with why do you think he was excellent because he hung out with the ones God had appointed for him to hang out with don't let your friends just be by default choose them and if you like Daniel hang out with excellent people excellence will seep into you Daniel hung out with the right people see he hung out with Shadrach Meshach and Abednego let me ask you what if you hung out and your friends were like Cheech and Chong what if you hung out with dumb and Dumberer and it won't be long before you're gonna find who the dumbest is would you read this next scripture first Corinthians 15:33 go do not be to see bad company corrupts bad company corrupts what if bad company corrupts good morals then good company can clear up bad morals good company can straighten out bad morals good company can give you a higher standard of living good company can help you with by living by better principles by what your life will be navigated do you understand good company and so God is saying select well now some of you are saying okay Wayne okay I'm getting it but where are you gonna find the Shadrach Meshach and Abednego so they easy to be found where do you start yeah where do I start I'll tell you where to start the first place to look is in the mirror because you see like attracts like so if you want to attract men of integrity what must you be start with yourself you want people that are friends that have good attitudes when the chips are down then I need to develop and myself that same heart that when the chips are down I start to develop a good attitude about it I start to see the positive I start to see the rays of hope rather than the long shadows of hopelessness if I want to have friends around me that are men of integrity then I need to begin to build that if I want to have people around me that are encouraging and loves their family then I need to do that you know why because when you develop that heart it attracts people that have that same desire in their life and when those people get together you're greater together you attract those people let me wrap it all up into this final scripture in a second chronicles 16:9 second chronicles 16:9 is an interesting verse it says this for the eyes of the Lord moved to and fro throughout the earth that he might support those whose hearts are set on him or completely his here's what he that says for the eyes of the Lord God is looking all over the globe for those whose hearts are just like his he's looking for you and he did he found one oh whoa right here Oh his name is David David yeah David was a man after my own heart you see the man in the mirror when you're starting to develop God's heart listen carefully if you are developing a heart after God you don't have to look much for God he's looking for you the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that he might strongly support build up encourage make successful those whose hearts are completely his you don't have to look hard for God you don't have to look far for him he's looking for you and the same thing is true when you're developing God's heart not only is God looking for you but people who want that same heart are starting to look for you and when you surround yourself with these people God and seeing their faith says you're gonna be alright because that's my principle throughout the scripture select well because God is appointed for you certain people to add to your life will you recognize them where does it start starts in the mirror it also starts where God says I want you to prune these relationships that have you stuck so today I want to tell you and promise you that if you'll do that if you start investing your life rather than wasting it because life is like a breath it's just gone here today and gone tomorrow life is too short to waste your life if you'll invest your life if you'll be purposeful and wise and those you hang out with if you will do this I promise you I promise you that you will never live beneath your potential you will rise higher you'll have a brighter future and you yourself will become all you've ever hoped to be and got all that God has planned for you to be that's the kind of people we want to become and if you agree with that say amen amen

Channel: NewHopeOahu

Views: 26,618

Rating: 4.873199 out of 5

Keywords: wisdom, friendship, relationships, accountability, parents, Solomon, seasons, Daniel, morals

Id: 8NjSGw7jy-o

Length: 39min 36sec (2376 seconds)

Published: Wed May 06 2015