Fiance's Ex-Wife Got Pregnant With Her BF But Plans To Put My Fiance In Birth Certificate To Profit

this is very complicated my fiancee male 29 let's call him adam and i female23 have been together for about one and a half years he separated from his ex-wife 37 let's call her sarah over two years ago for very complicated legal reasons i won't go into here their divorce has been going on for the whole time i've known them sarah adam and i are all legal immigrants to the country where we live but because the legal divorce has gone through the courts and immigration office along with the pandemic it has been delayed sarah is not a great person and has been illegally withholding adam's children from him while demanding large sums of money i'm not talking child support he pays for all their expenses i'm talking like ten thousand dollars or you can't see your son six months ago sarah met a new man and wanted to get married today we found out that sarah is three months pregnant even though they've been separated for over two years according to the laws of this country adam will be presumed the father because they are still not legally divorced the court date for their divorce was supposed to be in one month but it will have to be delayed until after she's had the baby because she's pregnant sarah is now threatening to fight in the court to say that the baby is adams the real father is somehow okay with this since he thinks they will get good money from it and delay the divorce for up to eight more months if she tells the court that the baby isn't his and the court takes testimony from sarah adam me and sarah's fiance then the divorce can move forward normally i know all this seems a big complicated mess i swear it's all real and if i didn't love adam i would have been out very quickly here's to my problem i'm going to move back to north america for law school i was supposed to go this year but because of the global issue i waited a year to apply my visa ends soon and i don't really have a choice about leaving adam and i were supposed to get married this summer fall to be together and he could immigrate with me with sarah being pregnant this means that he may not be about to join me for a few years with all the paperwork that i will have to fill out in the next few years sarah knows this which is why she's trying to delay the divorce just to mess with us how do i get through this emotionally without the global issue all this would have been over last year i'm honestly happy that we're all safe and physically healthy because i know the outcome for the previous year could have been much worse i love my fiance and want to get through this and it's not his fault but i'm dying inside from the stress i want him to be a good father and i want to get my degree so i can support our family if i have to move without him we'll both be devastated but it might have to happen i need emotional help and need advice on how to talk with him about this to be honest you've only been together for a year and a half and you're only 23 with literally a whole life and career ahead of you personally i would walk away relationships end for all sorts of reasons and i wouldn't be able to continually subject myself to someone else's messy divorce proceedings i wish i had better advice regardless i wish you luck another thing to consider chances are he won't be given full custody so they'll have to co-parent for who knows how long this baby mama will be a constant shadow hanging over op the drama surely won't end with the divorce i would walk away too very few men are worth that hassle i would keep all texts letters emails etc that she's ever sent using threats or blackmail for the children i would fight the paternity test for the child and i would tell adam how you're feeling having someone stick around by his side has probably made it worth it in the end as much stress as it can be i would just talk to him about how you're feeling stressed and all of the above this is the test of your relationship if there's nothing to be worried about besides sarah and the courts then he should be okay with waiting it all out before he can immigrate with you i somehow miss the part where adam already has biological kids with his ex op is he really intending to leave his children to be with you a woman he's known for 18 months in a different country and you're okay with this you're engaged to a married man who is willing to just completely abandon his children sounds like a real catch life is showing you exactly what kind of partner and father he would be with you most women don't get an up close look into their future when someone shows you who they are believe them no 23 year old needs this mess you were so young this man and his situation and i suppose the lawyer isn't cheap is going to drag you and one day you're going to look back at the whole life and money you missed go live your life and get out before they ruin your life even more i female26 lost my husband in an accident two months ago i was an utter mess i was and still am devastated and cannot believe how fast days go by my parents support me a lot i was spending my days alone at my apartment my parents told me they sent my sister 21 to stay with me and help around the apartment i welcomed her and was glad she came she'd occasionally invite her boyfriend to my apartment since she's there all the time her boyfriend started acting like it's their place by moving stuff throwing stuff away i talked to them about it i also said i wouldn't let him stay the night anymore because i need some calm and quiet to sleep and he usually stays up till 5am making noise my sister didn't argue however yesterday i went to see a friend for a few hours and when i got back i didn't find my sister thinking she went out suddenly her boyfriend walks out of my bedroom and i freaked out asking why he was there my sister showed up asking why i got home so early i loudly asked them why they were in minor my husband's bedroom suddenly my sister said they borrowed it for an hour to get some privacy since i had a key and might have walked in and seen something my apartment is a single bedroom apartment i was in shock i checked the room and the bed looked like someone used it i completely lost my temper yelling at her and a boyfriend i kicked him out and my sister and i started arguing she called me irrational acting out of grief and taking my frustration out on her i told her to leave if she wasn't willing to respect mine in my husband's private place and she should never have walked in it after that i kicked her out my mom came to see what was going on she defended my sister and blamed her boyfriend saying i had every right to kick him out but my sister took the time and came to stay with me to support and help and i was wrong to treat her like this saying that's how kids are and didn't know that it had upset me this much my dad agreed i overreacted and wanted me to talk things out with her but i refused to do it am i the idiot not the idiot omg your sister and her boyfriend were having intimacy in the bed you shared with your recently deceased husband there comes a point where help becomes a hindrance your sister has passed that point i'm so sorry for your loss not the idiot treating your home as theirs while you were grieving is not being supportive it's being opportunistic as for moving things and throwing stuff out what if they'd thrown out something of your husband's that you had sentimental feelings about just know sounds like the boyfriend doesn't have privacy where he lives and is taking advantage of your sister not being under her mother's roof demand your sister returns any key she has and if your mother has one too if she still has access to a key there will be a repeat if they think you might be out until she actually understands how far she has transgressed she doesn't get to step foot in your home and certainly not unsupervised by you not the idiot goodness opie i'm so sorry for your loss your sister has a complete and utter lack of sympathy and self-awareness especially with the loss so recent being kind doesn't give you a free pass to be unkind that's not how it works and your sister is 21 years old not a child i wish you all the best and hope you have a support structure outside your family not the idiot this is the kind of help we can all do without it makes me sick just thinking about what they did how inhuman entitled and out of touch do you have to be to do it in a grieving widow's bed i couldn't bear to look at the people again if it were me don't let anyone make you feel guilty for this you deserve peace and quiet right now take it and block the sources of stress my birthday was yesterday and i was obviously excited hinting that i would love an ice cream cake as i had never had it before to give you some insight usually on my birthday my family eats the places that aren't even my favorite no one orders dessert which means no cake i just act grateful and try to enjoy my day last year my mom and i argued because i asked to go to a place that i liked which is actually cheaper yesterday rolls around and the day is just like any other day and only my sister seems to have remembered or was the only one that made an effort to wish me i didn't even want to go out because clearly it's too much trouble i had some hope thinking they were just messing with me but alas nothing after finishing my schoolwork i stayed in my room and kept to myself eventually my mom noticed my mood when i went downstairs and told me to stop being a brat i told her i might not have been if my parents remembered my birthday she actually looked flustered then continued to say i was being childish because people forget things all the time i am never grateful for the effort they put into my birthday anyway my dad also chimed in and said happy birthday happy now in a mocking tone at this point i was so hurt and stopped responding and went to my room they came up berating me said i was disrespectful and called me an idiot before slamming my door i'm conflicted because maybe i shouldn't have argued the previous year as it's their money still i was just trying to voice out my opinion am i the idiot for wanting to celebrate my birthday at a place i actually like not the idiot nothing in this entire story is your fault if you asked for something outrageous then it would have been different also they're your parents and should make an effort to at least remember your birthday there are zero excuses finally when they realized instead of saying oh no i'm so sorry it completely slipped but let's make it up with take out an ice cream they chose to deflect the blame onto you you deserve better not the idiot your parents are emotionally abusive how could they ignore your birthday and then mock you for being unhappy that's adding insult to injury i don't understand how they can be so mean of course your birthday should be celebrated how and when you want as long as it's affordable go out and buy yourself some flowers and an ice cream cake and don't share it with those idiots not the idiot but i have to ask how old are you once you're an adult is in your best interest to expect your family to be who they are and not show up for you yes it hurts but if that is who they are expecting them to be different just makes it harder for you my 31 male wife 27 recently gave birth to our son things have been going well with the baby and she's been recovering well given though you know what some family have not been able to meet him but we've been doing zoom meetings so they can see him anyway my wife was on a zoom call with her family while putting her son down for a nap when i came back in my wife asked if i could talk to her family for a bit and that she would be back her cousin started asking if my wife had taken anything at all during labor or even after i replied that she had managed to get the epidural right before it was too late and that i had to step right outside the room while they gave her the epidural cousin didn't say much after that and neither did some of her family members i stuck around a bit longer but when my wife didn't come back she ended up falling asleep i left in the interest of not going over word count my wife got furious at me later in the day she said i shouldn't have said anything about her labor or what happened that her family was calling her out for lying that i should have supported her and that i'm a massive idiot for talking about things i have no idea about i was confused for a while but apparently my wife told her family that she had a natural birth and hadn't wanted any medication i had no idea she was doing this or why i tried to ask her why she told her family that but she just got angrier saying i don't support her she's barely talking to me unless it involves our son was i the idiot for talking about her labor i didn't know she was telling her family this please give it to me straight not the idiot she said here talked to my family and left the area the family said what did she take during labor op replied honestly if op was meant to lie his wife should have filled him in in advance she's trying to play super mom natural birth no meds yada yada it's a silly kind of status she's trying to get because no one cares now she's been outed for lying and it's her own fault not the idiot because the absolute idiots here are your wife's family her cousin set you up and pried into your wife's private medical information knowing she would not want you to disclose it it sounds as if your wife's family are idiots about childbirth-related decisions so she told them she had a natural childbirth to avoid their judgment they're a bunch of idiots who couldn't let it lie i would apologize to her but explain that you didn't know and thought it was an innocent question in the future declined to discuss your wife's private medical information unless she specifically said it's okay for you to do so not the idiot the whole natural birth movement is super toxic i don't give anyone extra props for not taking pain relief it's suitable for some people wrong for others but you don't get bonus points for pushing a kid out unmedicated her family needs to keep their noses out of her medical issues the only thing they should care about is that you have a healthy baby and that both mom and child are doing well if they want to have unmedicated births then they can go right ahead and have their own we live in a very messed up society of women are getting judged for whether they chose to have their pain managed during labour and delivery not the idiot since you didn't know your wife's wishes be supportive of her by pushing back on any family members who feel entitled to judge her about such a personal medical decision i'm a 22 year old female and i got married to my husband two weeks ago he's my soul mate i found him finally after years of suffering between my dad's death and mom's marriage and having little support he came along he's so amazing so compassionate sweet and smart he's in a wheelchair which isn't an issue still i got negative remarks from people questioning the seriousness of our relationship oh you're too young that's probably not real love or you've only known him for barely two years or are you sure you're willing to live like this for the next at least 10 years we decided to have a small wedding our parents helped with money my mom invited my stepdad's family and stressed a lot about issues my husband said he had a surprise for our wedding i kept my eyes shut and when i opened them i saw that he had made a tree swing with chains and a tire he was sitting in it with his feet slightly off the ground and had straps on his shoulders saying he wanted us to have the perfect dance together i was in shock he told me he probably looked funny but he wanted to dance with me my sight level met his it was like we were standing face to face he and his friend who's the best man and little sister arranged for this everyone was reacting to this but mom and stepdad were upset when we started dancing my mom yelled at me to stop saying we were embarrassing her in front of her guests my stepbrother started laughing while mom screamed at me to stop and called my husband immature i immediately got into an argument with her told her she was being mean and cruel instead of being happy for me i told her to stop or leave she lashed out calling my wedding a joke i told her to go my stepdad defended her and said that my husband and i were being inappropriate i insisted they both leave mom left after that my stepdad scolded me saying i should be ashamed my mom supported me and paid money my aunt wanted me to apologize but i wanted to focus on my husband and me despite the family leaving and calling me disrespectful my husband felt guilty then and said it was a bad idea still i assured him it was me who escalated by kicking my mom out everyone criticizes me for acting immature and mean towards mom saying they were being disrespected and humiliated they didn't even congratulate us am i the idiot for the sweet unfiltered love of god sorry to say it like that but who stole your mom's brain not the idiot for sure your husband sounds like a wonderful and silly man don't get me wrong with what i'm saying now yes it was childish and embarrassing of your husband if it would have been your mum's stupid wedding not yours how can your mom be this disrespectful against your disabled husband who tried to get both of you to have a wonderful dance how can your mom be this entitled to really believe you are embarrassing her in front of her guests was it her wedding no and the fact that the mother said it was her guest speaks volumes not the idiot your mother is awful i'm sorry that she behaved that way you deserve better than your entire family displayed and paying money doesn't mean she bought the right to humiliate you and your husband at your wedding also at least 10 years yikes though that said finally at 22 years old is a good sign of all the growing you have left to do may you and your husband do it together with grace not the idiot but i have to get this off my chest you're 22 and saying you finally found your soul mate honestly i cringed i'm saying this because you're so young and have your life ahead of you in any case you're an adult you've found someone you once spent your life with and your mom and stepdad are being ableist idiots honestly until they can learn to respect your marriage and your husband i would go no contact not the idiot for kicking your mom and step dad out of your wedding when they clearly aren't happy for you plus disrespected and humiliated you and your groom in my opinion situations like this are why i'd never take any financial help from my parents for my wedding i'd hate for them to tell me i need to invite this and that because they're family [Music]

Channel: XO

Views: 78,976

Rating: 4.9342465 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit birth certificate, reddit not th efather, reddit child support, reddit bio father, reddit infidelity, reddit relationship advice, reddit coparenting

Id: NixbKn_pyQY

Length: 18min 44sec (1124 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021