Francis and Lisa Chan - Marriage Night

Francis and Lisa chan want people to see their lives in light of eternity they co-wrote you and me forever after spending their 20th wedding anniversary in East Africa you and me forever is now a right now Media original Francis is the best-selling author of crazy love and forgotten God lisa is featured on the true beauty series please welcome Francis and Lisa Chan [Music] [Applause] we're just in the back watching the comedian you know and he told that african-american barrel joke and I started laughing and she has no clue and and we're walking up here she goes I don't get it like what's a cracker you are it is so this is a so she learned something tonight so that's fine I can be a cracker I don't mind yes I'm thinking wow it's so funny that you can go so many years and just not know something like that but yes we are happy to be here with you guys I just was saying it to him today I was there driving in the car like we've lived a lot of life you know I'm one of those people that's excessive on the talkie or whatever that line was they were talking about but I was just telling him yeah we've lived a lot of life and we've seen so much and done so many things we just we have so much to be grateful for we've been married for 25 years this last January we have seven kids our oldest is married and we do have a one-year-old grandbaby Francis wears a grandpa shirt and I haven't brought myself yet to wear the grandma's shirt I'm sure I will eventually but Francis is gonna start us off tonight right yes let you talk about more of our kids well I mean cuz we're so many of them well okay so our if we have four that are still at home our youngest is four and a half years old so he's only three years older than our grandbaby so thankfully the other day I took the two of them to McDonald's and this woman said just to Silas my little guy my son like oh you're out with your mommy and your sister and I was just like I just didn't have the heart to tell they're like oh actually I'm the Grammy but I am super happy I love being her Grammy and we have okay all right okay so I just needed another second to collect my thoughts okay that was good you know I just got back from Africa like two three days ago so if I fall asleep while she's talking that it's not it's just because of that but um I had the honor of Sunday I I did a wedding in Africa and it was so cool in fact I think there's a slide of the gal or maybe not because I don't know if my assistant got it here oh there she is okay this is her name is CJ and she when she was six years old she was sold by her parents to a witch doctor and and she was just abused in so many ways and pimped out and until she was like 12 13 years old and then she ran away and and there's nowhere to go there in East Africa and she ends up in the red-light district only place where she could survive and just selling her body for a dollar per guy every night several times a night and then our ministry came in and started talking to her about Christ and pulled her out of there and and you know they educated her you know and and and and she falls in love with Jesus and and the last time we were together in the red-light district she was walking through with us ministering door-to-door at you you know or whatever you call that - every single prostitute in there and and and so Sunday - to beat err I was there with one of my our daughters and and to do that wedding and to stand there and see her in that white gown so beautiful and her bridesmaids and the others that that had come out of that lifestyle and now we're so in love with Jesus I can't tell you what an honor that is and the night before the wedding my daughter mercy who was with me she goes dad when I think about this wedding you're about to do she goes I I think about Psalm 62 he's like nod my head I go yeah I didn't know what songs he was but I can't let her think she knows more Scripture than me but she starts uh she starts quoting it and I thought this is so beautiful and I would just like to read it as we get started it says in Isaiah see Psalm I said as Isaiah 62 okay that's how little I knew this passage Isaiah 62 and this is what she said the nations shall see your righteousness and all the kings your glory and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give you shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord and a royal diadem in the hand of your God you shall no more be termed Forsaken and your land shall no more be termed desolate but you shall be called my delight is in her and your land married for the Lord delights in you and your land shall be married for as a young man marries a young woman so shall your sons marry you as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride so shall your God rejoice over you and I just read that on her wedding day of just you're not gonna be named desolate or forsaken anymore but you're this you're this crown jewel and as you know and in his crown and and and and God delights in you and and as I'm reading that I'm just I was just thinking about gosh it's not just her story that's that's a story of so many of us that maybe grew up and we were forsaken and everything else and now to think that as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride so shall God rejoice over you and the thought that there's this being up there that's so amazing holy terrifying and yet he delights in me like to really understand that he delights in me and that that he called he says I delight over you I rejoice over you like a groom would rejoice over his bride it's like when you get that when you really believe that there's there's so much joy in that I mean just the thrill you know and then you you look at it Ephesians 5 when he's you know he says man this is a profound mystery and he says I'm not talking about marriage here I'm talking about Christ and the church how we could become members of his body that somehow we become one so there's this God in heaven that God says if you were to look at me right now you would die because I dwell an unapproachable light then Ephesians says that somehow I'm a member of his body so he nourishes and church so somehow I'm connected to him right now like I'm an extension of him and he says I I just like my arm is an extension it's a part of me that God Almighty looks at me in that way it's like when you get that there's such a joy and a security that then you go into marriage overflowing overwhelmed with this relationship and then you come into this not so needy now like oh I need you because I'm so depressed and I just can't live without you but instead it's like I am blown away by who I get to be a part of I'm one with him United with him and what we have found in Mary it's when we find so much security when we're we wake up everyday in awe like I can't believe you said that about me god I can't believe you delight in me you delight in me and you call me a member of your body and you and I are one then it's like what do I need from this instead I'm a giver now because everything that God's given me and I just I love you know learning about marriage and and learning about how to communicate better but at the core of everything has to be you being an individual who is blown away that you are one with God that is going to bring more into your marriage than anything else can you find the passage yeah you know I was thinking there's so much we can get caught up in with a marriage night trying to practically figure out even just the practical steps we just learned like they're so meaningful and so good but unless they are anchored in something a lot bigger than us they aren't going to cut it and when we were reading through the Old Testament as a church I was so struck with Joshua when he you know we all know the story the Israelites God's people they're just up and down and up and down and he gathers them all at Shechem here in Joshua 24 and he's recounting again like look at what God has done for us don't forget look what God has done he's been so faithful he's brought us through so much so I just picture him there and he's got the whole crowd and and I was thinking in my heart there's a lot of people listening tonight god this is a huge like I don't want to mess this up and I want to say something that's meaningful so what would I what would I say you've given me this opportunity and I'm thinking thinking about gathering all the believers over this whole well the States but the world this the question is still the same or the statement what Joshua says choose you this day whom you will serve he even says here nope okay right here cuz he's he's going through the whole account of what God has done now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness put away the gods that your father's served beyond the river and and Egypt and if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord choose this day whom you will serve whether the gods your father served that's fine if you want to serve someone else that's fine if you want to go after the world that's fine if you want to repeat the patterns of your family and your moms and dads who have just divorce and enmity and strife and dissension if you want to go after all of that that's your choice but choose you this day because for those of you who say I will follow the Lord I choose him then it makes your marriage completely different your marriage is not for you your marriage is for God and if you have chosen to say god yes I will follow you then your marriage will look very different you will make very different decisions you know what you will say we can't fight we can't fight there's another passage I want to share but I don't know if you have something right now in Philippians Philippians 1 can you find that for me he's so much faster than I am I have to like Galatians Ephesians Philippians and that's how I find it Philippians 1 starting in verse 27 again it's like his heart just trying to I just sense him not begging but like like that's my spirit tonight only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ you guys that is it only let your life be lived in a manner that is worthy of the gospel of Christ look at what he has done for us don't forget because listen I know we are selfish and it is so easy to just think of ourselves and live in a manner that is not worthy of the calling that we have received that's why we have to stir one another up we have to read this word so we remember what anchors us know I've already chosen I've already chosen Lord there's a witness against me I have said yes to you I will follow you I will follow your word so what does he say to us so whether I come and see you or I'm absent I will hear that you are standing firm in one spirit with one mind striving side-by-side for the faith of the gospel does that describe your marriage at all are you striving side-by-side for the gospel do you have one mind and one heart you guys that's the only thing that will rescue you it's the only thing that will keep you from running after every other thing that the world and the enemy is just trying to do choose you this day whom you will serve you know is like several years into our marriage where I realized gosh we don't we don't fight a lot and we kind of assumed we would cuz we're both like off-the-charts when you take all those tests of like domineering and and that was us and and what we realized was a lot of it is because we're always pursuing something you know the striving side-by-side like there was a point to our marriage the point was not let's make each other happy but that we actually have something on the to accomplish together you know it's like that sports team that's going after the championship like right now the Warriors on their way to win that you know their third championship and and the idea is is like as you're pursuing that this unity happens right and so so when they win there gives me this big celebration everything me hugging each other but it's not like they sit in the locker room and hold hands and talk and try to become close it's it's the byproduct of being on a mission together and III think about first Corinthians 7 which I doubt many people use for a marriage conference but what Paul says this is what I mean brothers the appointed time has grown very short from now on let those who have wives live as though they had none and those who mourn as though they were not mourning and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing and those who buy as though they had no Goods and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it for the present form of this world is passing away I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man is anxious about things of the Lord how to please the Lord but the married man is anxious about worldly things how to please his wife and his interests are divided and the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things the Lord how to be holy in body and spirit but the married woman is anxious about worldly things how to please her husband I say this for your own benefit not to lainey restraint on you but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord what is Paul saying there in 1st Corinthians 7 he's saying look this life is short this time that we're in there there needs to be an urgency he says so if you're married there's a sense in which you should live as though you're not like like there's a mission here that you don't want to get so sidetracked by this the ego what you want what Paul's design was was was understanding eternal things understanding the times he's saying look you've got to have this undivided devotion to the Lord and so in our married life it's like okay how do we stay focused on this undivided devotion because he doesn't want us just you know communicating all the time and enjoying us you know even when we were writing we're like gosh we have a lot of friends that have a great marriage but a worthless life like what are they actually a couple what are they doing you know just hanging out playing with their kids like man don't we see the end is near don't we know that right now and again I'm a little passionate about this because I just got back from Africa and seeing some of the crazy things that are going on and as some you know we went 20 years ago I mean out 20 years ago five years ago at our 20-year anniversary and I want to show you this slide of this gal this picture of this this little girl and the one before that yes okay so we were blown away at just what was still going on and and heartbreaking and so it's like we got to do something about it so writing the book we you know build build a medical clinic through it you know got some land to build a woman's home for people in the red-light district but that second picture now showed the other one the of the other gal that's the same girl like a few months ago when I went and visited her see like that's that's the stuff that brings life into our marriage it's like look we got to do like like we celebrate she's one of thousands of kids that have gone through this claim now and we're feeding and caring for them I had to visit that last week and just just see over a hundred people coming through there every day we got to be a piece of that and at the same time going to the next slide I also yeah it's marriage night so uh but we I went into this camp just a few days ago with about 50,000 people okay and and there might be one more slide yeah so these are just fifty thousand displaced people and so we were able to buy Salou tarps on there that was just to cover them because the rainy season was coming you know and and right when I got there there was a woman just go when she was hysterical and no one could calm her down and I looked a few feet away from her was her her dead son who was literally skin and bones just like that other girl that we saw except he was dead and this girl was just going nuts and I'm thinking man they're burying like five people a day and so there's just this urgency as I I hear this woman screaming and I'm looking and I'm looking at fifty thousand people and it's like okay okay we got some tarps ok can we get stoves for them can we get food over here because it's only cost like 20 cents a day 20 cents a day to feed a person over there and yet but when you multiply that by 50,000 and then I can start thinking oh it's just one camp and there's there's like 20 of these camps it's like but that's right before my face I've got to do something about it and a sound of my daughter it feels really kind of sick to be on our end of things and I I said it feels like those gladiator movies where you just decide live or die like like I have power over that I decide how many thousands people live or die based upon my financial decisions and when I spend my time doing and what I talk about and so so I get home from that I'm like telling my wife like hey we've got to figure this out we've got to do something like and and and it's the idea is like we could just sit and enjoy life and everything else but the reality is there really are people dying apart from Christ and the thrill to me is gosh it's such a long story the way we've hired like 40 pastors you know for like $5 a day cuz at which they're thrilled about to go and pass out food you know at these camps and share the gospel at the same time and and it's like okay we've got to get it tomorrow we've got to get it two more because I don't want any of them dying I don't you know there's so much to say but but my point is this is life for us and and as we pursue these things together as we try to figure out solutions it's like the the unity in our family you know the way our kids are it's like again we kind of look back and we're surprised because our kids love each other so much they love the family so much they love Jesus so much and we're not a family I mean sad like I should have done a better job with devotions and everything else but I've never been good with all of that but as we've pursued the mission together it's crazy like the byproduct of it was this amazing marriage and amazing unity between Lisa and I and with the kids and so again like all the other tools are great but at the core if this isn't right and the two of you don't see yourself as having a purpose on the earth and pursuing a mission together then what's the point and it's really as you seek Him and as you seek his mission the byproduct of that is this incredible relationship that I mean one of the joys was a few months ago at our 25 year anniversary you know we're a dinner and and Lisa just goes forgot your exact words but you're like I mean do you think there's anyone happier than us on the earth because I keep thinking like there's gotta be someone I've just never met them you know like there's gotta be someone's because I just feel like it's been too much just so so blessed so so happy and we're just envious you know like like we want others that's not the right word we're jealous for you too so the right word all right yeah I mean when it says to taste and see that the Lord is good it's like we go to a great restaurant and we want to tell everyone about it we've got everybody in our city going to House of Pancakes like it is the most amazing Chinese food and I don't even like Chinese food because I'm a cracker it's very rare that I make him laugh so this is good I'm not the funny one in the family oh but you know taste when you taste and see the Lord's goodness you do you want everyone it's that you want to convince like trust me you know you got to do it the Lord's way you've got it off you've got to offer an acceptable sacrifice to the Lord it's this isn't about whether or not you guys think you have a great marriage this is about what does God think does God look at our marriage and say yes that is a marriage that is acceptable in my sight that is what I have asked for because he has always been a God who requires a certain thing if you haven't read the Old Testament in a while it's very clear we're reading in Leviticus right now it's like wow I want the offering offered exactly this way with exactly these things and with exactly this kind of fire and this is exactly what the priest will wear and when things are not offered the way God wants them to be offered there is not the blessing of God and many times there is discipline and so our heart is to save you from that to say don't listen to any other voice but the Lord's voice and remember to ask yourself is God pleased with our marriage is God pleased with me as a wife when you sit alone in the presence of God with the Word of God and you say show me Lord show me am i pleasing to you am i loving my husband the way that you want me to because that changes things doesn't it what am i showing the humility that you died to give to me like you died to give your spirit to me that your spirit would reside in me that I might exemplify the fruits of the spirit so am i showing the kind of humility in my marriage do I have a forbearing spirit towards my husband towards my wife am I am i offering the forgiveness of Christ always man it just changes everything you guy is when we when we offer the sacrifice that the Lord wants and we remember that that's right it this isn't about you and me this is about what does God want because the beauty about that is of course the Lord's heart is that both of you would be there but the beauty is that you can offer the sacrifice whether or not your spouse ever does you can say I will I have chosen the Lord I will walk in obedience and I will let him reveal when I am not honoring him the way that he wants me to like a minute left I just want to say like the thrill of I know we've said so many different things and we're so passionate about this and I I'm also just in my mind I'm just thinking it's just it's so not fair in so many ways that we can sit here and have these marriage talks and everything else and yet my mind is still thinking about that mom that's going nuts today because another child died another child died and and it's it's the joy though I hope you see that it's the joy of going gosh look at that little girl she was supposed to die now look at her boy and seek with her I mean the joy of that and and and then to do a wedding of man that was one of those girls in the red-light district who spent her life just being rejected and and desolate and abandoned look at her she's a beautiful bride with a beautiful godly husband now like those are the things that so fill us up then when we see our kids grow up and they go out there you know it's like these are the things in life there's so many people miss out on and we don't want you to miss it because marriage can be so beautiful when you realize it's it's not just about this there's such a bigger picture we are connected to him and one day we are gonna stand before him and to hear those words well done for him to say yes my delight is in you we look forward to that that's why our book was all about you know marriage and light of eternity because too often when we talk about marriage we just think about here now and it can become a very selfish thing and what scripture says is when you lose your life when you let go if you know I don't even care how I live on this earth you end up being blown away at the joy and the blessing you can have right here gosh one last thought because I know the times up that verse earlier what Lisa said about we're not at least I was Apostle Paul about striving side side side by side just having one mind you guys I really just believe the it sure feels like the end is getting close and God wants a unified bride and there's so much fighting and bickering in the Christian world you know everyone's accusing and trying to disassociate and I'm like five years ago everyone was like aw Francis Chan he's a poverty gospel preacher you know he thinks everyone has to be poor and then like a few months ago they're like oh he's a prosperity preacher you know you know what am i you know like you know I think just the enemy just wants us to fight and bicker and disassociate where God wants us so you find what the things that matter but it starts here and I don't want just assume that with 48 thousand people watching that you're ready to go on a mission because the truth is is there's probably division in the home for a lot of you and and until you get on that right track of understanding and having a common mission to go home tonight and go look is this what we want are we after this do we have a goal in mind if I'm gonna stand before God and we want to stand before him United striving side-by-side for the sake of the gospel like something bigger because I know sometimes when you get in an argument those things seem so big but nothing is gonna be as drastic as standing before a holy God I promise you the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and for that sake and that sake alone we don't have time to fight I we just don't know the thought of divorce don't even enter the mind why cuz I have a fear of the Lord at the core of my being and it's like we can't afford to fight this life is too short and we want to stand before him side by side unified having lived a life that actually meant something on this earth and so gosh I really pray that you you get over whatever is in between you because there's something bigger going on and you can actually have an impact on other people's lives you can actually keep people alive you can actually expose them to the gospel but this can sometimes get in the way of it rather than this being the very vehicle that brings that type of life into the world so let me just pray father please God I know you hate it when your children fight and are divided you hate a divided church you hate seeing your children fighting like that God and it starts in the home Lord pray for every husband and wife that's listening right now that number one they would have a fear and love of you that they're fine their joy and security and you God heal every broken marriage use them for your glory there are just too many people who are in need right now there's no time to fight please unite these couples unite your church for your glory in Jesus name Amen [Applause]

Channel: Crazy Love

Views: 169,597

Rating: 4.8995867 out of 5

Keywords: Francis Chan, Crazy Love, Marriage, Lisa Chan, You, Me and Forever, Ministry, Church, JESUS, Eternity, GOD

Id: vX1uX7RWs9s

Length: 35min 20sec (2120 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 05 2019