CULT LEADER: The stars are right for Cthulhu
to arise and to reveal this video’s sponsor, Curiosity Stream. CULTISTS: Cthulhu fhtagn! Character is what you are in the dark, but
money is what you will have in the bank if you can fake characterization. Good old Merriam Webster defines characterization
as the artistic representation, as in fiction or drama, of human character or motives. Basically it is how a story reveals aspects
of the characters to the audience. But, more importantly, how can a writer properly
characterize their cast in their story especially, if like me, one finds themselves to be a boring
person that has all the force of personality of a potted fern? Well fear not for Terrible Writing Advice
will show any writer how to properly write characterization! And you can trust me because over the course
of many TWA episodes it’s not like I have been characterized as petty, greedy, self
serving, short sighted, mean, insensitive, ignorant, ruthless, and just all around about
as trustworthy as a used car salesmen trying to sell you timeshares on Neptune. Now the most important thing to remember is
that characterization is a purely optional component of storytelling. There is direct characterization in which
the story just tells us about an aspect of a character’s personality, indirect characterization
which the story shows the audience a quality about the character, but the best method is
no characterization. People don’t read stories for interesting
characters, they read stories purely to watch cardboard cutouts fight over macguffins. That means that it is fine to have a protagonist
whose only character trait is that they are the protagonist. Only generic protagonist person can save the
world now. While a protagonist lacking any extreme personality
qualities can serve as a solid anchor so the audience has someone to identify with in an
otherwise colorful cast of characters, this means that they will really identify with
a character whose charisma could be rivaled by a plastic spoon. So our main character has precisely zero character
traits which is great! Do they have a motive as well? Don’t be silly. Of course my main character has a motive. Um. The protagonist's motive is to… uh… find
the macguffin! What is the protagonist’s stake in finding
the macguffin? Why does our protagonist want to leave their
comfortable life and go on dangerous adventures? Because the plot knows where they live and
will burn down their house if they don’t get moving! See! That got the protagonist going, no characterization
required! So we have burned down the protagonist’s
home, revealed a secret world of magic populated by hyper dangerous apex predators, thrust
them into the middle of cutthroat wizard house politics, and have basically completely demolished
the protagonist’s world view. What is their reaction to learning that everything
they have ever known is a lie? Well we will never know because we have to
get to the next plot point. There isn’t time for the characters to emotionally
process events because I have to dump the epic history of House Longwindionis in here
somewhere. But what if a writer is a tryhard who wants
to actually characterize their characters? Well then we give our characters some character
traits. Lets make Mary Sue ‘clumsy’. That’s a trait right? Hey, we can even count that as a flaw! Mary Sue is determined, steadfast, intelligent,
and other positive adjectives we can slap on a character profile. Character profiles can be a good way to organize
information about a character, but they really shine when a writer spends endless hours tweaking
and obsessing over it. Because I personally find character profiles
just so exciting like a grocery list. Now we just arrange a bunch of random character
traits and the whole thing simply works right? Mary Sue is confident, but she is also insecure. Nope. Can’t see how those are mutually exclusive. It’s not like character flaws are the flip-side
of character strengths and that these two components form a character trait. Even better, let’s substitute character
traits with character archetypes. Just have the character defined not by their
characterization, but purely by their role in the story and nothing else. Archetypes can make for a great foundation
to build on so once you have established a character’s archetype then just stop there. You are done! No need to add any additional characterization. Eh. That all sounds way too complicated and unnecessary. I think I’ll just ignore all of that. Uh oh. It looks like my characters have encountered
their first obstacle. Looks like we have external conflict. How will my protagonist handle this situation? See, if I was all worried about characterization
I would have to have the protagonist overcome this obstacle in a clever and insightful way
that conveys an aspect of the protagonist’s character to the audience like having a cunning
character talk their way past the guards or have a craven character face their fears in
order to move forward, but instead I can just have the character blast this problem away
with their super magic tech powers. How will our headstrong and optimistic hero
deal with our rebellious and jaded antihero when the two clash over how best to defeat
Lord Killington the III? Will the tense dialog exchange strain their
already tenuous working relationship while highlighting the key differences between the
characters? Will the dialogue reveal the antihero’s
true nature as a lost soul bent on revenge regardless of the cost to himself or others? Will the hero be able to set aside his idealism
in order to achieve victory? These are all good questions I would be forced
to answer if I intended to properly characterize my cast through conflict. I have a much better idea on how to write
this scene. Instead, I can have the characters just rehash
plot points we already know and then send them off chasing the next macguffin in the
plot coupon scavenger hunt. I don’t even need to worry about internal
conflict either. How does our hero feel about being the chosen
one? Eh. It’s okay I guess. Beats being a farm boy on a safe homestead
surrounded by a loving family and not having to worry about the political manipulations
of nation states, the forces of darkness’s constant attempts at assassination, frequent
pitched life and death battles, and the very fate of the world resting on his shoulders. No pressure. Every day the chosen one’s decisions result
in untold deaths and unprecedented political and social upheaval so I see absolutely no
reason he would feel internally conflicted about anything. The only internal anything going on with my
characters is their internal monologues which should be just mind numbingly banal. God forbid we accidentally make the characters
think. That would disastrous. They might actually have their core beliefs
and values challenged by the story which will be a problem because I didn’t bother to
give them any. Why would the characters need a way to contextualized
the world around them? Characterization is all about looking for
opportunities to characterize the cast. Do we get to see a character’s home and
thus get to see what kind of environment they create for themselves? What about when a character relaxes and lets
their guard down? No. I’m not going to let any of that happen. I’ll spring another action scene on my characters
instead. I just better be careful, because some characterization
might slip in in how the character reacts during the action scene. Got to stomp all of that out. Writers should be especially careful during
the revision process as that is where most characterization can be added in and finely
honed. Of course, any true writer following my excellent
advice shouldn’t be revising anyway. Digging down and working out just what makes
a character tick will never be as interesting as crossing out line items on our plot coupon
quest. Audiences don’t need characters to get attached
to, they need brainless explosions, gratuitous franchise building, and endless sarcastic
quips in place of where a character’s personality should go. I mean, hey, it’s works for me. CEO: Sorry, DL. Gotta break your will. Company policy for its enemies. *Knock at Door* CEO: Hang on. CULT LEADER: Excuse me, sir. Do you have a moment to about our Lord and
Destroyer Cthulhu? CULTISTS: Cthulhu fhtagn! CEO: I don’t give to charities. CULT LEADER: But, sir, it will only take a
moment of your time to tell about how Cthulhu will rise from the depths of Ryleth and fill
the world with wailing, ash, and blood. Join us and you too can be eaten alive along
with everyone else. CEO: You guys aren’t good with sales pitches
are you? CULT LEADER: So that’s a no? Okay. Then would be interested in this video’s
sponsor, Curiosity Stream. CEO: Another Sponsor! CULT LEADER: Of course. Curiosity Stream is a subscription streaming
service for those with an endless hunger for knowledge with over 2,400 documentaries and
nonfiction titles including exclusive originals. CEO: Wait. Is that the one founded by that discovery
channel guy? I thought I bought them out? CULTIST 1: I ended up bingeing all of their
Ancient Rome videos. CULTIST 2: Hey, JP should cover stories set
in Ancient Rome before Cthulhu eats him. CULT LEADER: Unlimited access can be yours
for $2.99 a month and followers of the TWA cult can get the first 31-days completely
free if you sign up at curiositystream.com/TWA and use the code TWA during the sign-up process. CEO: Great. Stamp out one sponsor and another pops up. Sorry, fellas. Got to take care of you too. Security!… Security? ANCIENT CONSPIRATOR: I’m afraid security
won’t be helping anyone, much like your customer service. Now prepare yourself for my highly complicated
and overly elaborate revenge.
