Fr. Mike Schmitz - Integrity in the Moment of Choice

you thanks you guys that man I am really grateful for thanks for that welcome I um as I mentioned earlier we we hope that the presenters today are very good house like oh that's directed at me I feel I feel a little bit like kind of like singled out here cuz I don't know I do I am I do want to say though that I am just absolutely grateful to be able to be here with you I've been praying about this day for a really really long time and just trying to be prepared so I asked asked my my brothers in law cuz I'd loved my brothers in law a lot and I love my brothers a lot as well um but my brothers in a lot have a higher bar for me then my brothers do and so I was like you guys what would you you know if you went to a men's conference what would you want to hear and they had a whole they did not spare me they were very much all about kind of like they knew what it was is I've been praying about this and preparing for this hopefully I just want to honor you all because I know that there are a thousand places you could be on a Saturday other than this place right now and so the fact that you've chosen to be here even if like whatever I have to offer or whatever the rest of the conference has to offer isn't enough it doesn't act actually like equal out doesn't kind of balance out the sacrifices you had to make to get here I do trust in the Lord and I know that every time we make a motion every time we make a movement towards him it does not go unrewarded that the lord knows whatever it took for you to get here especially if on the way here was one of those things like well sneak in traffic and this parking stupid and like I had to get up so early or whatever the kind of my day that I got to maybe sleep in and you didn't get to do that and all those kind of things that kind of eat at you a little bit just kind of like though I'm doing this for you God um just better be worth it um I know that feeling and just recognize that again even if this isn't doesn't seem to count for much I know that the Lord receives your gift of your time and he receives the gift of the sacrifice that you had to make speaking of speaking up at the house in other places I love whenever I start like especially a men's thing I love asking the question a question I'm gonna ask you all to turn to someone next to you answer the following question like because you could be anywhere right now but you're here at antlers here in Colorado Springs at this conference if here's the question and I invite you to turn to someone sitting next to enhancer this if you could be anywhere in the world right now doing anything in the world right now where would you be what would you be doing okay so that's the question so it says earn to someone sent next to you answer the following question you could be anywhere in the world right now doing anything in the world right now where would you be what would you be doing ready go all right hopefully hopefully everyone had a chance to answer that question so hopefully you had a chance to answer you haven't had a chance to answer okay keep going okay um anyone anyone want to volunteer just kind of like raise your hand I can call on you and where would you be if you could be anywhere in the world right now okay watching Alabama and LSU later on I'm assuming those are football teams great so I'll box in Alabama LSU um which is that's Louisiana and Alabama we're in Denver we're sorry we're not never we're in Colorado right we we have a okay we still have a vested interest that's great wonderful answer anyone else yes in nature playing disc golf absolutely good answer great answer also you guys have nature around here which is pretty awesome uh-huh yes I was in Colorado College beating UMD um you mean the University of minnesota-duluth so I'm glad you said that because I forgot to mention so the podcast that Tom mentioned is called eNOS Bulldog Catholic and some people are like oh you Bulldog Catholic because you're like you know you're like like Bulldogs like you know you just you bite on you don't let go kind of I like you have tenacity like no it's the mascot for the University where the there were the Bulldogs so we're Bulldog Catholics so yeah we'd love to see UMD beat that team um where where else where else anyone else over here this area general vicinity yeah ah and home of his wife and his daughter that's awesome great answer I'm down here Crested Butte mountain biking anyone else be out in the out in the woods yeah okay that's why you live here um anyone else yell good answer sorry yes yes si would like just absorbing the Sun and the coast um yeah nerd just kidding that's great answer so you guys here's the thing is this is this is one of those this is one of those realities and I love the fact that you said that and I love that you're the last person um because whenever I asked this question whenever it's it's it's almost 95 percent of every person I ever asked this question to it's always the answer is always the say I knew what your answer was gonna be before he even said it because 95% of the time the answer is always if you could be anywhere in the world right now doing anything in the world right now the answer is almost always somewhere else doing something else I think about how often that that that's our default is if anyone asked you in the course of like the last week you're at work you're at home you're doing whatever you need to be doing and they asked you the question if you could be anywhere in the world doing anything in the world what we what would you be doing where would you be almost always the answer is I would be somewhere else doing something else which is on one hand like kind of I could get we have dreams and sometimes actually I should be somewhere else doing something else but think about how what that does to us it particularly what it does to us as Catholic men if my default at any given point in my life is I would rather be somewhere else doing something else what does that do to us because it actually exact that that that impulse in us that desire in us it costs us something it's not it's not free because I'd be somewhere else yeah but right here is where you're supposed to be I'd be doing something else well yeah but right here is what God has called you to do with this thing is what God has called you to do and if I spend the majority of my life wishing I could be somewhere else wishing I could be doing something else I'm actually letting the majority of my life pass by me in fact we know this right now the only place you and I can find God the only place he can find us is right here and right now the past is gone the future has not yet happened so the only place God can find it's the only place we can find God is right here right now doing this thing in this place and what happens if I'm constantly wanting to be somewhere else doing something else that means what I'm saying is God you can't find me here and at the heart of that is a lack of in some ways in some ways it's a lack of faith what I mean by that is we believe as Catholics that God can use everything in our lives like we have this conviction right made this trust in him that God can use everything even the difficult moments even the dreary moments that he can actually use the moments we would rather not be doing what we're doing and be where we are the God uses everything he's just driven home to me that that dree allottee of the God uses everything my bishop a little while back he had he told this a story a blessed Stanley Rother I don't know if you guys know blessed Stanley Rother so he's he's a Oklahoman which is one of the states and in this country and it looks a lot like the eastern part of your state and it's just this candy you can see for miles you can only see heaven which is here and but buzzed and the author he had entered into the seminary back in the not too long ago I think the 70s maybe 60s and he was one of the guys that they kind of kept asking him to take a break from the seminary because his he was his economics weren't like the best and so they're like you know Stanley maybe just take a little break from the seminary go back home and you can imagine that he was asked to go back home how frustrating he would be like no I I need to be information I want to be a priest but he kept it being asked to go back home and he'd of work his family's farm when he went back home and he could see that as time being wasted like why am I being sent back home back to the farm when I want formation when I want to be somewhere else I want to be doing something else I god this is not right I should be getting ready to be a priest not just back on the farm eventually he was ordained and he was sent to be a missionary in Guatemala and when he was in Guatemala he made this immense impact on the people of Guatemala the people that he got to serve and the impact was not because he had this academics that was monstrous now it wasn't because he had this incredible formation in the seminary although he did the impact was he took all of the skills that he when he was sent back home to work the farm to help the native people learn how to farm better to take care of their families better to build better communities the exact things that he learned when he was when he was taken off track are the things that God used in the future to impact the most people seen know with God nothing is wasted unless unless we're not willing to say okay God this is where you want me to be this is what you want me to do so I'm gonna be here doing this thing and I will let you use it the only the only waste did the only wasted thing in our lives is whatever we don't surrender to God the only wasted time in our lives is a time we say God you don't get to use this the only wasted experience in our lives are the times that we don't hand over because in this time in this place what God wants to do is he wants to make you into the man that he's called created and redeemed you to be that's the whole that's the whole point of this moment that God actually wants to make you into a certain kind of man now he doesn't just want to have you be the kind of man who's just a bunch of things like the bunch of check lists like what does a Catholic man look like what is it Kathmandu when I want to talk about this morning is is what is that what does a Catholic man actually look like and again not just what they do like a checklist if you start doing these things you'll be a Catholic I mean what kind of man does God have in mind when he has you in mind that he created you for a reason they redeemed you in his son for a reason so what kind of man does he want you to look like what kind of man does he wants you to be not just what he wants you to do for what kind that make sense so I think but in order to act that kind of answer I think the question of like what is what does a Catholic man look like we have to answer the question what's a man there's a lot of confusion there's a lot of confused that's my brothers-in-law they were like talk about masculinity talk about misunderstanding Maxell only talk about toxic masculinity I'm like okay so you want me to talk about masculinity I got it there's so much confusion over what a man is I mean honestly when I didn't even know like I'd never anticipated that we would be living in a culture that would ask men to stop being men no no that would tell men that it's wrong to be a man that this is that to say that actually to be a man is a threat to the people around you I've never never thought because I grew up with these incredible heroes who would be like the most incredible strong brave antagonistic defiant servant men dr. Leonard sass I don't even know who dr. Leonard SAS he wrote a book called boys adrift and he's a psychologist and he actually studied here's the situation when it comes to when it comes to men in our in our culture when it comes to boys in our culture and one of the things he noticed DC said our culture kind of funnels boys into one of two camps one is like the the culture of the slacker dude so basically boys as you as you grow in strength just kind of like let it dissipate hang out the video games just kind of just kind of like dude like whatever just like I just live in that live man like that's the kind of like people in Boulder you know sorry sorry sir just kidding I'm sorry so sorry sorry but the idea right at the heart of it it's like is this like is I have this growing strength in me but I just let it I wasted the other funnel that boys are pressed Pet past into is the bully or the brute he says so like take your strength and then you got to assert that thing you got to like take that strength and you got it drive the biggest truck you gotta take that strength II gotta do you know kind of like shove that around like pushed it push your weight around and he says neither of these views of man the slacker dude or the brute the slacker dude or the bully are actually authentic masculinity because they're both a misuse of strength see the big thing one of the gifts that God has given to every man I don't care how big or how small you are don't care how physically imposing or physically unimposing a man is that God hasn't made every man in some way to use his strength so the one chooses to let their strength dissipate the other chooses to exert his strength to dominate but dr. Leonard sass from from a Christian perspective says there is actually an alternative the vision that God has is this the vision that God has is to use your strength to serve did harness your strength and actually put it at the service of others we're talk about that in a sec in a little bit but give it away um you know Jesus at one point he just he only in the scriptures healing in the Gospels Jesus only describes himself once when he describes himself he uses two different words he says I'm gentle he's a meek meek and humble of heart meek and humble of heart he also described himself as a the gate and the bread of life and the shepherd yeah but like when he uses like adjectives its meek and humble of heart so when we hear sometimes as men okay Jesus says he's meek for like okay could we imagine this you have this image of Jesus in our minds that kind of it's like kind of you know from the 60s kind of hippie guys just had a lamb and chase us pace you know kind of like here's a flower you know like that that's the image sometimes we get into our head of Jesus being meek but it was fascinating I I heard recently the translation of the word meek is not week in fact the translation Lord meek is the opposite of weak it so it's it's used in this context so if you took a stallion like this this horse that has apps so much power but its power uncontrolled that if you would Meek the horse it was now power brought under control that's what it is to meet someone that's what is to become meek it's not to become weak it's not become easily dominated but it's to say like I have all this power all this strength all this intelligence all these all these gifts what I've done is I've brought them under control it's when Jesus says I'm meek he is definitely not saying I have given away all my strength what he's saying as all my strength has been brought under control so he's not a dissipated slacker dude and he's not this bully he's someone who says I've come with all this strength all this power it's meek and I came to serve not to be served so that's this is this image this picture this is what a man looks like so what is it here's the question then okay that's what a man looks like a man is like power under control dr. Leonard sass not dissipated not dominated but at the service of others when do you know when do we know in our culture when do you know the era man I mean I said crazy because other cultures right they have they have science they have clear like you pass through this rite of passage and usually it's really difficult and not everyone actually passes through the rite of passage it's there's a challenge so when in our culture do we know that we're we're men like is it got my driver's license like we know that is not the case I'm 18 now I can vote also no I can buy cigarettes clearly no like I'm 21 now I can drink that's not I went to college you got a job you know sometimes our students say is when you get a big-boy job I'm like listen even the way you're describing that is still a big-boy job like it's clearly when when do we in our culture know that you're a man and I've been thinking about this a lot and I think it's not an external thing we don't have any external signs about this I think it has to be something internal we know we're men when we've made a decision and that decision I would say is is to take responsibility that we know that we've we've left the world of above the boy and we become the man when we just say no at first step is I've learned to take responsibility for myself of course the next step is I learned to take response I decided to take responsibility for those around me you can think about like when you're a kid when you're when you're a boy growing up it's like you just do what you're told yeah what do I need to do okay I'll do that thing when do I need to eat okay I'll eat now when do I need to go to battle could do that I've talked to so many husbands who would they say when we have one my wife is out of town like she's out of town for the weekend and I just I slept on the couch I just ate pizza for supper and then for breakfast tea and then for lunch I just stayed up and like when she's not around I don't know how to when to go to bed I don't know what to eat there's that sense of like wait a second but a man doesn't just do what they're told the man takes responsibility for himself intact is so interesting I don't know if you've ever have you ever had this experience where so I would say the besetting sin are betting besetting temptation for every man is passivity and the besetting temptation for every woman is control it's imagine like here's this marriage relationship where if our by setting temptation is to like passivity like I mean think about if you're married think about how the wedding got planned like honey yeah whatever you want whatever you want she can do whatever she wants and she's so happy because she gets to do whatever she wants and like if she's planning the whole thing it's all good and honey yeah absolutely whatever you want passive and she's like I'll do it all the way I want control and even in that wedding preparation what happens a lot of times if she gets upset at one point she's like why aren't you more participating in this whole thing like because it's your thing I just want to help you means I want to be passive now a lot of times men will take that and women will take that into their marriage and at first its right she gets what she wants whatever you want however you want the house to look that's how it looks and I go Taiwan I just passive and it is a match made in heaven until it becomes hell and then she starts saying why aren't you why aren't you making more decisions in our relationship why aren't you making more decisions in our family why aren't you leading our family and you're like why can't I make a decision you take so much control and all of a sudden we begin to resent each other where she resents the fact that he's not more active and he resents the fact that he doesn't have as much influence and she always takes control and all of a sudden it's really realized wait a second but to be a man would be this would be to say I'm gonna reject that passivity I'm an embrace responsibility that's one of these markers of a man the first I would say the first mark of a true man is that rejected passivity embrace responsibility that's why I think like you you think about if you've ever watched Band of Brothers you ever watched any of those movies about the men of world war ii like i working on a college campus and so my students are you know 17 to 24 years old sometimes just look at these men and i think i wonder if they were called upon to serve like my grandfather was called upon to serve would they be able to rise up to that place like what made those men special i don't know if it was like they're raised differently i don't know if it was like there's just a different situation but i want I think it's this I think it was they were willing to take responsibility they were called upon out of themselves and said okay I will put my life on hold I would put my life on the line for the sake of someone else the mark of manhood is I'm willing to take responsibility not just for myself I'm willing I'm willing to take responsibility for someone else but we keep running up against this temptation right of this temptation towards passivity or even this temptation that we talked about at the very beginning of this whole thing which is heart I just rather be somewhere else I just rather be doing something else you know there's actually a technical word for that desire to be somewhere else doing something else there's like a church word for it it's called acedia another way to say it is slow some people say sloth but I just think of like the three-toed thing so slow or acedia is the word for this they it's to desire some people think that sloth is being or slow that's being lazy it's not being lazy slow or acedia is the desire to be somewhere else doing something else desire to escape my responsibility that the desert monks they called it the noonday devil because how they described it was you're in your little Hut in the desert and it's 10:00 I'm from 10 o'clock to 2 o'clock you just have to sit there and pray that's what you're so speed doing that's where you're supposed to be doing what we do and that's what you're supposed to do you doing but they said that you know while there's all these sins that a person be could be tempted to fall into the one that is universal like all the other ones are kind of individual to us you don't have to be tempted to all of them the one that temps every human being is this acedia this desire in the noon of the day to be somewhere else doing something else and I think about that that might not be your weekly experience but that is definitely our our experience in life that every man experiences that they I mean sometimes as a result of it they buy a new fancy car sometimes as a result of it they start working out and sometimes as a result of it they leave their wives and they leave their children it's it's essentially a midlife crisis in every man every man faces it at some point this desire you know what me think about this when I started this work when I started this job I started this family started this relationship everything was new and it was like everything was exciting everything was growing and it was great potential I mean how it's just kind of like showing up for work not a lot of promotions these days kids are just going by day by day and life is still the wife and retirements really a long ways away and right here I am between 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock just like as life just like yes it just keeps showing up I have so many responsibilities I want to run I'd rather be somewhere else doing something else I can't I can't leave that's the worst part right isn't it the worst part is like no you can't even choose you have to day it's like it's like um it's like not eating meat on Fridays or having to fast during Lent um where it's like if you didn't you if you want a date without me normally you'd be like okay fine whatever but if someone tells you no today you can't have me it's like I want meat so much it's not it's not because you want meat more that day it's because like well someone else is telling me I can't have it but I want a new pope and now Dottie and and because I can't leave I want to leave even more and because I have all these responsibilities these people are counting on me even more I just it grates on me no this happens to every human beings happens to every man in particular and I'm just inviting you brothers when that happens cuz it's going to happen if it's not right now if it hasn't happened yet when that happens embrace it when that happens engage with it when that happens you have to stay because not only is your family counting on you not only is your parish counting on you not only is this aside like your soul is riding on this your soul is riding on your willingness to when that gets to that point and you want to bolt because it's just so overwhelming like but you know that's when you absolutely need to engage and not be lulled to sleep but so many of us are lulled to sleep particularly in that noonday time st. Peter wrote about this he um in first Peter chapter 5 if they at the end of his letter st. Peter says they see says be sober and vigilant your opponent the devil is prowling like around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour resist him steadfast in faith knowing that your fellow believers your brothers throughout the world undergo the same suffering like this is not unusual this is not unusual to you that desire to escape responsibility is not unusual to you st. Peter says remain sober and vigilant steadfast in your faith knowing your brothers around the world are experienced in the same thing but there is an enemy who prowls about like a roaring looking for someone to devour we know we have an enemy and if he can take out see you guys he has already destroyed so many of our brothers he has lulled them and he's load them to sleep he's made them ineffective actually it's interesting I watched a documentary on lions because why not and um about a lot of time my job is really easy and I work one day a week and and so it was it was about like how Lions who interact in their pride and there's like you know there's the there's the alpha lion whatever and at one point typically or many points as young male lions come up they want to challenge the alpha for dominance of the pride is really fascinating how they do this one of the things they showed is that they typically the the Young Lions come up to the old lion and they don't like out now would attack them they kind of walk up next to him they kind of get my shoulder which is like if you ever been in a bar in that hat you know the guy walks by just do for like oh okay this like throw it on is drinking like start swinging it's always this kind of you know a little shoulder thing like what are you gonna do what are you gonna do when someone gives you that shoulder you have to you have a decision what are you gonna do you know back down from this fight or you gonna step up to this fight you know there's the we know that there's the temptation or that the response we always have no to stress to attack is fight-or-flight right that's this it's naturally inborn to us as human beings they're not all animals fight or flight when there's this like okay there's an aggression there's a there's an attack there's a battle coming fight or flight someone pointed out to me recently they said but for so many men these days is not fight or flight there's a third option freeze to many men rather than say okay yeah I need to get out of here they says this is overwhelming this is too much actually I need to run that's actually you know fight another day or two engage and say let's do battle we have to do that we can't escape this there's a third option that too many men are choosing which is just like I'm not gonna do anything I'm just gonna freeze when it was your job to fight or it was a job to take your family say no this is not where they belong I'm gonna run with them that that first little shoulder from the line is subtle but it's clear what's happening what are you gonna do are you going to fight are you going to flee or are you gonna freeze when the when the when the older male engages and they actually fight this is if this is the thing like destroy now I was like wow this incredible when the older male engages and they actually battle each other one of the things that they pointed out the commentator is pointing out is said notice that they don't go for each other's faces they don't go after each other's throats they don't go for the jugular what they do is they go for each other's genitals here like ouch yes but more but more than that like one of those kind of fighters yeah I don't like those guys you know why would they do that because they know if I can render him he mask you lated he is no longer a threat if I can take out him out at the genitals yeah I don't have to kill him I don't have to destroy him all I have to do is render him I have to take away his masculinity I have to take away what makes him a man and then I'm in charge I just have to I don't have to dominate I don't have to destroy all I have to do is emasculate and now he's no longer a threat how many ways have modern man have us modern men allowed the evil one to emasculate us to render ours ineffective because well what are the ways I've allowed Satan to castrate me what are the ways I've allowed the evil one to take away the power that God gave to me that first mark of that Catholic man is the responsibility I'm willing to fight I'm willing to choose heroism I'm willing to actually do what I said I was gonna do first mark the second mark though he's a Catholic man has to be competent now I just have responsibility we have to be men of competency like to actually be a uh you know it's one thing take responsibility but we have to be men of excellence as well we have to be men who actually train ourselves now whether that be like in your job you're professional like I'm a I'm an excellent teacher like I've competency in that or I'm an excellent lawyer or I'm an excellent plumber I work for the city and I man I take care of make sure everything works well um when it comes to sanitation when it comes to like that lon I did that I'm competent at my job but their zip thing even more that's more important is this willingness to be a man of freedom and a man of power basically am i confident when it comes to the life that God has called me to live how do we become competent Catholic men the answer is through training we are trained to become no one's born competent so we can embrace responsibility but the next thing is after embrace I have to train myself to be confident now um there's this another church word we already talked about the one church word that was acedia another one is similar to it it's the word asceticism if you've heard of asceticism or a Cesis so it's like you know so Lent is the season of asceticism right so it's season of penance but sometimes we think of that penance or that asceticism is just like well you know for this length I'm not gonna have cream in my coffee like oh wow heroic you know but a Cesis is actually a Greek word that means training doesn't just mean like I'm gonna skip the sweets a Cesis means I'm gonna be trained imagine is imagine if then all the men in this room went into Lent a season of asceticism saying okay for the next 40-plus days this is not a season of just me denying something this is a season of me training become competent to be able to be the kind of man who can do what I said I was gonna do responsibilities again knowing what you're gonna do and then bracing that then competency is I actually have the ability to do what I said I was gonna do I have the ability to my family in the way that they need to be led I have the ability to to serve my family and the way they need to be served I had the ability to pray when I said I was gonna pray actually show up and pray I mean I really want to read the Bible as long as that stays like a nice little hope nice little idea it's a nice little hope it's a nice little idea it makes no difference but if we're willing to train ourselves in fact st. Paul talks about this in first Corinthians chapter 9 I look it's a man Paul Paul says this he says do you not know that all the runners in the stadium run the race but only one wins the prize so men run a run so as to win you don't want to be like an also-ran coming up this morning I'm not here for the fun run like no Saint Paul says listen I'm running for charity no you're running for your life you're running for the Lord run so as to win goes on every athlete exercises discipline ascesis in every way they do it to win a perishable crown we do it to win an imperishable one and say so therefore I do not run aimlessly I do not fight as if I were shadow boxing like this isn't a game for me I'm not seeing like how long can I go without sweets how long can I go without watching Netflix how long can I go without beard this year I'm saying I'm running he says I Drive my body and I train it for I feel that after having preached to others i myself should be disqualified how tragic would it be brothers to know the truth about Jesus Christ but because I just wasn't willing to be trained because I wasn't willing to strive after competence that actually got disqualified in the race I was willing to take responsibility for myself but I wasn't actually willing to take up the challenge and this is this is true no matter how old or how young we are right um my older brothers you know you're still in the fight you know that life is still competence life is still excellence life is still striving after that decision life is still training like it's not like oh that was for younger days I mean I know because there's so many older men I know who are striving after the Lord they're like no no this is my season to race this is my season like I'm not I might have started I don't know how I start I don't know how you started you might have started rough you might have sorted really rough you might have started out great but in so many ways it's not just how you start it is how you finish my older brothers do you know that your life at this point in your life has to be one of a CSIs it has to be one of constantly training your race is not over and also my young brothers I'm so glad you're here as young people because you not you're never too old to start and you're never too young to start like really training for life and that's why one of my favorites babes one of my favorites gosh where's my 15 year old girl so um like totally you guys it's like so good okay David it's like my favorite ever um David is one my favorite characters in the entire Bible and you know the story how about David comes on the scene right there's King Saul and the armies of Israel and they're facing the Philistines and there's this one military soldier from the Philistines whose name is Goliath aney comes out and challenges everyone rather than have both armies come together us you send out your best soldier and I'll fight that whoever whoever wins gets doing the whole thing now weeks go by and no one volunteers until what happens David who's a shepherd boy shows up to bring his brothers food and he says what's going on over there and his brothers like with don't they give him the lowdown and he's like well I'll do it I love how scripture describes this moment because David comes to Saul and Saul says uh yeah I love it I love it too because at one point the brothers get mad at David he's like well I'll do it and it froze like wool shut up you're such a stupid punk you're the youngest one and David says this he says what what have I done now I was only talking I'm like yeah I was a younger brother - younger brother - David I know that feeling but the words David said gratz has got to Saul this is a First Samuel chapter 17 so then David spoke to Saul let your majesty not lose courage I'm at your service to go and fight this Philistine think it's hilarious I can match in this scene here's saw the king that no one in your Army's going out including yourself by the way no one in your Army's going Casals described as being a head and a half head and shoulders above everyone else like he's actually he was King because he's like a good soldier he's like Oh someone else someone else here comes this boy imagine here's David coming out and saying like Saul King Saul don't worry I'm here let your majesty not who's heart I'll go fight him and here's what Saul says Saul says you cannot go up against this Philistine a fight with him because you're only a youth he's been a warrior since his youth you don't have what it takes you're not competent David knows something his whole youth has been spent in training and here's how we responds he says your servant I mean I used to attend my father's sheep and whenever a lion or a bear came to carry off a sheep from the flock I would go after it and I would attack is and I would rescue its prey from its mouth this is how David spent his summers right this is now like I like I've played some xbox like you guys I've totally played call of duty I'm like a soldier basically I'm like this is this is not what David said he's like okay here's the choice I could be the slacker dude of this he's like no I I trained myself I would go after it if it attacked my father's sheep I would chase it down in attack and he goes on he says if it attacked me I would seize it by the jaw strike it and kill it your servant has killed both a lion and a bear and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them because he has insulted the armies of the Living God that's why I love David you guys cuz he didn't he didn't wait he didn't ask permission you guys he took responsibility and he was able to take responsibility in that moment because he had been training himself his entire life for this moment to be able when when he was needed to be able to serve when he was needed when he was called upon he wasn't called upon keep all in tiered didn't say tell me what to do he's like that's needs to be done I can do it how can you do it I've been training for this my whole life howdy train are we training ourselves like we're is what's the role of training asceticism in my life in your lives it could be anything but here's here's a freebie here's a here's a free one one of my favorite Saints Saints st. Josemaria Escriva you know who he is founder of Opus Dei just incredible guy he uh this training he really embraced it right as penance and as this like let's move forward he suggested something that a lot of my college students really resonate with he calls it the heroic minute but I seen her Josemaria Escriva straps as they grow up in heroic minute is this the moment your alarm goes off you get up and get out of bed like that's it that's the Rope minute because a lot of times we we think of like asceticism we think at training like what's fasting or it's whatever like well I can't pass too much cuz I need my strength to do my job or like I can't you know give up to see this because I don't want to harm my body st. Josemaria says this he says that it never hurt anyone to get up on time now there's no lasting damage at least right same goes to Maria the patron saint against snooze buttons because he's saying like what happened in that whole snooze button thing heroic minute the reason why it's heroic is you someone could i know some of you were like son i haven't used the snooze button a day in my life that's because you have embraced training you've embraced responsibility what i mean by that is you know when it's time to get out that's the first part of like the horror heroic minute is you've decided a lot of times our students at least and maybe all of us men in here sometimes when we we know we go to bed the next night before we haven't decided exactly when to get up or why we're getting up it's like maybe you'll get up early tomorrow if I wake up early maybe I'll work out no you won't you haven't decided maybe I get up tomorrow and pray a little extra no you're not gonna do that unless you decide this is what I'm gonna get going to get up because I'm going to do this thing so I need to embrace responsibility what do I need to do tomorrow what is the call of tomorrow morning and decide the night before this is the time that means then in the moment when the alarm goes off that's what they call it the moment of choice I've decided the night before and then the next day I need to have this other thing this third thing and it's called integrity in a moment of choice the third mark of the Catholic man not only embraces rejects passivity embraces rotc responsibility not only strives after competency through a CSIS and asceticism and training but also integrity integrity in the moment of choice because competence is the ability to do what I was said I was gonna do I have the ability to do what I said it was good I have the ability to do what I'm supposed to do in this moment that's competence I've been trained to do this but integrity is actually doing what you said you were going to do the moment you need to do it competence is being able to do this integrity is actually doing the thing you need to do when you need to do it and this is the great thing you guys everyone you've been baptized in this room I don't know if everyone's been baptized but if you've been baptized in this room in this room you've been anointed like the Holy Spirit is come upon you and you're anointed you know you know Jesus Christ Christ isn't his last name you know that already right that's not a sir Christ means The Anointed One and when you were baptized the bishop a priest or deacon whoever was anointed you with chrism that Chris most about Christ chrism that so you're anointed which means you're all little like Kristi toes just anointed ones walking around consecrated for the Lord which means you've been consecrated for a purpose anointed by the Holy Spirit for a purpose which is one of the reasons why we absolutely need to embrace that responsibility you've been given it's been given to you to be trained to be able to do what we need to do but then have the integrity in the moment because so often we're tempted to not live on purpose so often or attempted not live on mission I know a lot of you men know what it is to be on mission but all of us men know what it's like to live off mission so many of you know what it's like to live on mission I know I get up in the morning I know I continue to love my wife I know I continue to love my children I know I continue to serve a lot of my country I know why I continue to go to my job I know what it's like to live on mission but every one of us knows what it's like to live what you might call a shadow and my hero couple chapters later David you can see him love a shadow mission here's David The Anointed One David's the king he's anointed the king from his youth even before this moment with Goliath David's already been anointed he's already been chosen put on mission and the mission was not just to fight Goliath the mission was not just unite the kingdom the mission was to beat the king what happens is in 2nd Samuel chapter 11 there's this new story that's told about David the news story goes like this David with a mission he says this the first line at the turn of the year when Kings go out on campaign David sent out Joab along with the officers and armors of Israel while he remained in Jerusalem now here's that something you probably already know about Kings in the first century the Kings the ancient world sometimes I imagine Kings like okay this sit on the big throne big crown people I have the palm fronds and kind of cool them off like more grapes please you know that's not what the role of the king was the role the king was not to be served the role the king was to fight for his people that's why you were the king because you were supposed to fight that's your main job so the first line in second samuel chapter 11 says when usually kings go out to fight david sent out someone else to fight while he remained back in jerusalem this is like red flag number one because that's the thing is like you don't none of us none of us like a very few of us skydive off of the the cliff immediately usually there's that first drift this is David's first drift the next line David however remained in Jerusalem one evening David rose from his siesta and strolled about the roof of the palace okay not only did he not like you guys you go out to fight I've got a lot of work to do back here at the office like we got business meetings we got some finance planning we got to build a new wall he's he's rising from his siesta right so so David not only is not living on mission going out in fighting he's also indulging his census right he's just kind of like I'm just kind of hanging out seeing what's on Netflix Jacob meet one extra beer a night close to home anyone ok moving forward you know not show of hands stroll throughout the roof of the palace from the roof he saw a woman bathing who was very beautiful now this is that moment where again moving on mission David would be like okay okay yep whoops sealing scene when I was growing up my if we're watching TV watching movie with my parents there was something inappropriate on the on the screen my mom or dad would say sealing scene to look at the ceiling okay you can look now okay fine so David seeing Bathsheba he could say like oh whoops okay sealing scene but what's he do he says David had inquiries made about the woman says his strike red flag number three who was told oh she's Bathsheba the daughter of Eliam the wife of Uriah the Hittite and the next line is David then sent for her he went from being hero started drifting not living I'm not doing what I'm supposed be doing I want to be somewhere else other than I'm gonna be somewhere else doing something else I'm the king so I Ken when it's time to like discipline myself I'm not gonna discipline myself now I want bat so I'm gonna go take it found out she was married and then David sent for her and took her when she came to him he had relations with her and then returned her to her house he imagined here's a man who had so much responsibility so much competence so much integrity and in this moment he finds out this woman is someone else's wife takes her and then just send her home you know in our culture we have those stories that have come up again and again and again of men who have just done that live the shadow mission I can so I'm gonna take her and then just give her a part in the movie and this is the hero now as the story unfolds turns out Bathsheba gets word back to him says okay I'm pregnant now so what happens is David's like shoot I need to cover my tracks so what he does these calls uriah back from the front and says your raya come eat with me tell me about what's going on in the battlefield your eyes shows up and so King David gets him drunk and sends him back home but your eye doesn't go home your eye goes down and he sleeps with the other soldiers because he's like and David's like why didn't you go back to your wife and he says no no I'm on mission right now King I'm so sorry I'm a mission my brothers are out in the field I can't go sleep with my wife when my brother's out in the field here is the picture that cata me between the man living a shadow mission David and Uriah who's living on mission so David's like that doesn't come back here again I'll give you even more alcohol you don't get him a little frisky and like go back to your wife with some food and he says no I can't I'm on mission so what does David do David they hero though anointed one the one who has this incredible mission he gives Uriah and note to take back to Joab who was leading the army and says put your eye at the head of the fight and then when the fighting gets fiercest draw back and that Uriah be struck down David goes from being hero a man of responsibility a man of competence a man of integrity to a adulterer and a murderer and it didn't start with him saying I'm gonna commit adultery I'm gonna murder it started with him saying I want to be somewhere else I wanna be doing something else and he just decided to live a shadow mission there's good news the reason David's still a hero is because he was he was sliding right I don't know if you guys know what it's like to slide out of your mission slide out of caring for your wife slide out of pursuing and just even honoring the women around you the young men here you don't have wives yet I'm guessing no um but to honor your sister's just slide out of that you know the great news is God had mercy on David and he stopped the break he stopped the slide but in order to stop the slide he had to break the man he did it but too many of us decided we're just gonna keep living that shadow mission remember when I first heard that term shadow mission I was reading this book and there was a men's retreat kind of like this but multiple days and they were talking shadow mission and one night at the retreat they're all sitting on a campfire and just kind of sharing stuff and things got quiet and it's one man you could see was visibly disturbed and he and he started poking the fire and he's like you know I gotta tell you guys my shadow mission he said my shadow mission is when my wife and my kids go to bed I get out of bed and I go down to the family computer and I engage in destructive behavior while the rest of the world can go to hell and the guys kind of hug chuckled like haha too much information and he's like no you have to hear this when my wife and my children are in bed I go to our family computer and I engage in destructive behavior while the rest of the world can go to hell he's like I'm on a slide and I don't want to slide off I want to be that man of integrity not only who can do what he needs to do but who actually does what he needs to do when he needs to do it I was working working with some of our men on campus and I asked them I said when do you think you're and when do you think you're gonna know you're a man one of them his name's Peter Peter said he said when I have a hold on my sexuality in such a way that I never want to use another person in the wrong way he said when I have a hold on my sexuality in such a way I never want to use a woman in the wrong way they says that's when I know I'm no longer a boy I'll have sexual thoughts I know I have sexual emotions and desires but I want I want to I'm normally a man when I'm in control of those emotions another man is named Erik Erik said says when I can interact with another and not ask what they can do for me but ask how can I serve them that's when I know I'm gonna that's that's when I'm gonna know I'm a man I can interact with someone regardless of who they are and not ask the question what can they do for me but ask the question what can I do for them I was listening to both those answers I was like you guys what I hear you saying is you you're gonna know your man when you're no longer selfish when it's no longer me first like basically the way to say it as Christians is you know your man when you know how to love like when you know how to love well and then when I say love I don't mean like you know that Valentine's Day like gushy whatever I mean like like um active love like to to love in such a way that you look differently then I say it again to love in such a way that you look differently this fourth mark of a Catholic man is a man who actually knows how to love such a way did you actually end up looking differently and that's crazy because I think a lot of us don't want to look different like in fact I think a lot of us would settle maybe not everyone here I think a lot of us would settle for like being a decent guy and a lot of us would settle for people to say oh yeah I know he's a good guy he's a good guy like that guy he's a good guy instead of being so much like Jesus that we look different because that's what the love would do to look so much like Jesus that you'd actually end up looking different emember getting an email from a mom whose son had gone to a Catholic College calm he's in college now our college but a Catholic college conference and came back and he was changed know this mom she described this whole thing she's like we sent our son to Catholic elementary school we sent him to Catholic High School like we paid a lot of money we sent him to this college because he wanted to go there because he had a great Newman Center like a great Catholic presence on campus and um then he went to this this conference and he came back and I was going to daily Mass now he's like he's praying every day's on the rosary or something now he's talking about um living in a house with a bunch of other Catholic men next year looking at Elise and I just found out that last weekend he went on a seminary visit he didn't even tell me till he got back home like what is going on at that conference like what what's wrong with him and I was like okay I was reading this email I probably wrote 12 drafts back to her cuz I was I could calm down calm down calm delete to delete to delete take don't just Shh she's just a mom she's loves her son just look I was so like what the are you kidding like you've spent you and your husband spent thousands of dollars sending your child to Catholic school you're you're encouraging him to go to the Newman Center and go to Mass on Sundays but ultimately you just wanted to be a nice guy the reason he was sent him off to Catholic school was because you want it to be good kid who pays his taxes and doesn't end up in jail someday and the moment that lack actually is taking his faith and like running with it is you're like whoa what's going on here this is crazy this is strange I don't want him to be weird I just want him to be good so I wrote her and I you know I wrote this like I wrote those things to her and then hit Send then immediately wrote it like I'm sorry if that I apologize you know if it's too offensive because sometimes I like people liking me and um the problem is not your son the problem is you know to her credit she heard it Riggs received it she's like yeah I think you're right the problem is that I was talking to other moms and they're all talking about how they're their sons and daughters are living like the college life and here's my son who's not living the college life and I was like I don't want him to be so weird that he sticks out I don't want it to be so weird that he looks different and I was just afraid for myself and how they would think of him but the goal of the Catholic man is not to fit in or be a good boy we have to look different which means that love that love in some ways has to be defiant like our lives have to be marked by this defiance that we have to decide I'm not going to live like everyone else I'm not gonna look like everyone else my responsibility a lot of responsible men super Goods have them not a competent men awesome fewer men with integrity but even fewer men who want to love like Jesus because if you're gonna love like Jesus it's going to absolutely look different this is the last thing I know that out here you guys have probably talked about in the last couple years I think you know our faith has come under fire in a lot of ways and there's been a number of threats even from our own country our own government I love our country so much best country I'd really truly believe best country in the world but there's a lot of threats have come that it seems like the next thing that's gonna be taken away or being on become under threat is religious liberty like really just freedom I think that's probably the next thing that's gonna come under threat under attack yeah it already has obviously it might even be the next thing that's taken away is religious liberty and I was reflecting on this and thinking like that's a problem but then I was thinking actually for most of us it's not a problem what I mean by that is in the lives of both kept most Catholic men the established government could take away religious freedom and it wouldn't change our lives at all you still be able to go to Mass more or less you still be able to send your kids to like religious IDI you know drop them off like we do just slow down the caravan open the door get out pick you up in an hour for the most part if the government took away religious freedom it would not affect our daily lives at all because we don't live our daily lives as Catholic men outside the walls of the church like we don't actually fight to belong to him but to be a man of responsibility and integrity and competence we love it means we have to fight even in this country that's so good we're gonna have to become men who fight I want to close with this story I've shared it before but I it's just so powerful and it just a couple years ago number of years ago a friend of mine told me about a man from China who he lived in the Luzon province of China Fujian Province in China sorry who's Zhang promise in China and they're still illegal to be Catholic like really Catholic they have the Chinese Church but it's not legit you know so the real Catholic Church is still persecuted and so they have to in order to have mass they have to have these clandestine masses in the middle of the night in people's homes so this man actually his priest came into their home in the middle of the night they had mass they have to have sentries outside the the home to keep watch for the authorities in this night as they're packing up from mass the acentric came in and said help the authorities are on their way and so everyone's scrammed daily everyone left and the guy had to stay there though because it was his house so the authorities came in and they could see that masa just been celebrated and here's the one guy who's here so they took him into custody and for the next three to four weeks they just they interrogated him they tortured him they stripped him naked and chained him to a wall and they starved him and they beat him and they burned him they took a cattle prod in a jerry-rigged the cattle prods so it was up to a million volts of electricity going through this thing this touch different parts of his body and just asking this one question question is where is the priest that's all we want to know all we want to all we need to know is where's the priest you get to go home all you need to know just tell us where the priest is and you get to go back to your family all you need to tell us is where the but he knew this he knew that if I tell them where the priest is my family won't have the Eucharist for who knows how long and my wife neighbors they won't have the Eucharist I don't know how long we don't know how many years it will take for another priest to come to our region and be able to bring us the Eucharist and I will not deny my family the Eucharist I will not deny myself I'm not tonight my neighbors at the Eucharist so after three four weeks of this tour constant torture the authorities were like we can't break him that means crazy to even just imagine that actually was the conclusion they had so we can't break this man and so they sent him back home just imagine the heroism like this as a man responsibility and competence and integrity and this defiant love it's incredible he outlasted their torture yeah literally he's alive now he's a hero for the Eucharist it's so what happened was immediately after this well not to immediately but shortly after this he moved to the United States and he lives in one of the North Eastern country states and at first man he was so glad he knows families rejoice to be able to be they he said we didn't the walk down the sidewalk in the broad daylight and walk into the Catholic Church to go to Mass any time we wanted to no one stopped us so he took his family into daily Mass cuz this rejoicing and this religious liberty that he had he also realized that in the greatest country in the world if you work hard you make more money so he started working longer longer hours so got more and more jobs I want to keep my kids why I didn't have back in China so pretty soon he was like okay wife you you take the kids to daily Mass I can't go because I've got to work after a little bit he started no you get overtime on weekends so I'm gonna skip the occasional Sunday Mass after a couple years of that he started only going to Mass Christmas and Easter and when my friend told me about this he said pray for this man because this last Easter he didn't even go to Mass I think about this this man is a hero for the Eucharist this man like literally he's done more out of love for Jesus in the Eucharist than any one of us any all of us combined I know he doesn't even go to Mass and my friend said this he said just don't miss this point what communist China couldn't do what torture couldn't do what starvation couldn't do what being burned that couldn't do what cattle prods couldn't do our culture was able to do and it didn't even have to try those other things they could not take this man away from the Eucharist they couldn't take him away from Jesus but what our culture was able to do is take him away from both the Eucharist and Jesus and it didn't even target him he just ended up living like the rest of us our culture was able to take a hero and make him mediocre and that's what it's doing to us unless we're willing to be these kind of men the kind of men who say I'm willing to fight I'm here right now that's where I'm gonna be right here right now I'm gonna embrace responsibility I'm gonna enter into training and a CSIS so I can become competent I'm gonna become that man of integrity in the moment of choice and I will love so thoroughly I will look different but I will love defiantly because that's what our world needs if we're gonna set the world on fire that's the kind of men every one of us men need to become all glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be world without end amen and Father Son Holy Spirit amen [Applause]

Channel: Inferno Men

Views: 25,528

Rating: 4.9526229 out of 5

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Id: GOkRwFEmABo

Length: 64min 29sec (3869 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 27 2020