Fr Altier - Confession

[Music] okay so what in this talk we're going to talk a little bit about confession so we actually had a nice lead-in with that in the last question so we start out with the question of the forgiveness of sin and where does the power come from and ultimately remember the Pharisees asked the question of Jesus who alone who other than God alone can forgive sin the answer is nobody you can forgive somebody who has sinned against you but you can't take their sin away and so only God can ultimately forgive sin so if that's the case then it comes back again - okay so why can't I just lay in my bed and talk to God because the Lord knew our humaneness and so he gave to his apostles the authority to forgive sin so he told Peter whatever you hold bound on earth will be held bound in heaven that's in Matthew 16 in Matthew 18 he said that to all of his apostles and then in John 21 as I mentioned Jesus breathed on the on the apostles and said receive the Holy Spirit whose sins you forgive they are forgiven and whose sins you hold bound they are held bound so we see that Authority being given to the Apostles but we also have to recognize that that power to forgive sin was not only limited to the Apostles because sin was going to continue long after the last apostle died and if the only ones who could forgive sin were the Apostles then the rest of us are in big trouble so what happened is that the Apostles when they ordained bishops they gave to them the authority to forgive sin and then as time went along and the bishops weren't able to deal with this just by themselves because that's what it was initially you had to go to the bishop to get your sin forgiven and so as things continue to get bigger and bigger in the church the bishops gave to the priests then the authority also to be able to hear confessions and to forgive sin and so so that's that's where that that all comes from now a along with that we recognize that there is the power to forgive and there is the power to not forgive okay whatever you hold bound on earth will be held bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven so why would the church ever want to say you can't forgive you we don't ever want to do that however the only limitation of the church's power to forgive sin is in the heart of the penitent if you are not sorry for your sins that we can't forgive you so in other words if you come into confession and you confess something that's a mortal sin and you basically say I don't intend to stop doing it then I can't give you absolution because you you you are not intending to change your life so the church has the power to forgive any sin because God's power to forgive is infinite God wants to forgive your sin way more than you want your sin to be forgiven and he's infinite you cannot commit a sin that's too big for God to handle so that's not the issue so if the devil tries to tell you that your sins are too big tell him to get lost he's a liar you can't commit a sin that's too big for God to handle but if you don't want to be forgiven if you are not repentant then we can't forgive so that's the only limitation is just that one is that whatever is in your heart now sometimes when people think about going to confession it's kind of scary it doesn't need to be because remember the priest isn't there to yell at you the priest isn't there to condemn you the priest isn't even there to judge you you already judged yourself or you wouldn't be at confession so the priest doesn't have to judge you the only judgment the priest has to make is are you sorry or not if you come in and say oh yeah I was so good I I ripped somebody off really good yesterday I mean it was so funny like really are you sorry what you did oh man it was so funny it's like well I can't give you absolution if you think it was funny that you know you're not sorry for what you did so that's the only judgment the priest has to make but otherwise you've already judged yourself to be a sinner or like I said you wouldn't be there so when we look at the idea of them the forgiveness of sin the priest is there to forgive that's what we want to do so we're not there looking for a way to not forgive you because Jesus wants your sins forgiven that's the reason he died on the cross was to forgive your sins so he wants your sins forgiven but you have to cooperate with that if you don't want your sins forgiven then there's nothing we can do about it but if you truly want them gone that'll be that that's easy enough it takes just a few seconds of humility to get down on your knees and say bless me Father for I have sinned here's what I did now let me get real practical with you I found a few points first of all one thing that people will get worried about is what's the priest going to think of me well first of all understand that when you go to confession by the time that you have walked out the door the priest forgot everything that you said now I know that sounds utterly ridiculous but keep in mind the priest cannot talk to anyone about what he heard in the confessional ever if a priest says anything to anyone including another priest about what was said in the confessional he is excommunicated so that means not only as he kick it out of the priesthood he's kicked out of the Catholic Church we cannot talk about your sins on top of that now think about it practically what have you come in and you go through a list of sins and I get it mixed up with the person who came in right before you because I don't really I didn't get rid of their sins and so you confessed that you were gossiping and you were impatient and maybe it cheated on a test at school and then I say now in about that car that you stole you said I didn't steal a car it's like whoops sorry that was the person before you oh ok bummer it's like no no so God takes care of all that when you walk out God removes it all from the priests mind then we can focus on the next person that comes in just as we had to be able to focus on what you were saying so he just takes all of that away so that we don't have to worry about it if I had to have all of your sins rolling around in my head I'd wind up in an insane asylum so God takes care of that he removes them and he removes them because your sins are gone understand this when you receive absolution from a priest in the confessional your sins are gone they are destroyed they do not exist any longer God does not sweep your sins under the carpet to say okay well we'll take care of this now but we'll deal with it later no no no he destroys them when God looks at your soul after you have been to confession he does not see any of the sins there because they're not there anymore so there's a story that I tell in classes that I teach throughout st. Mary Margaret Mary Alacoque st. Margaret Mary is the woman who had the visions of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Jesus told her that she needed to to have a spiritual director and so he said I want you to go and talk to father Claude de Colombia he's now st. Claude de Colombia so she goes up there and says well you know Jesus appeared to me and told me that you're supposed to be my spiritual director well he knew better than that and said ho no no well she insisted and and so the Lord said fine if Jesus appears to you again you ask and what my last mortal sin was and if you can tell me what my last mortal sin was then I will be your spiritual director so next time the Lord appeared she asked him God his aunt God of the answer went back and father said well did Jesus appear he said yeah said did you ask him what my last mortal sin was she said yeah and what did he say that I don't remember he said okay I'll be your spiritual director it was gone it wasn't on his soul anymore it's not that Jesus didn't know that he had done it but it had been forgiven it's gone so Jesus could say I don't remember I look at his soul there's no mortal sin there it's gone I don't remember that's what he does with you to when you make when you make a good confession your sins are absolved they are gone forever that means even on the day of judgment you're not going to hear about any of the sins that you confessed ever they're gone for good you brought them to God so he doesn't have to bring them to you so that's the beauty of what the sacrament is you know it's it gets a bad rap you know people think six six of the seven sacraments are great but this idea of confession oh that's just horrible it's a beautiful sacrament but it's misunderstood because people think that it's just so bad like what's bad about it it takes a few minutes of humility to have your sins completely removed for eternity that's pretty cool so there's nothing to be afraid of you don't do your penance and you have to confess that the next time because that's part of the confession so your sins are still forgiven but you you still have that's a new sin that you've got now because there are effects of the sins okay so so let's say that you know you you're goofing around with your friends and and you break something out there at your neighbor's house you can go over to the neighbor and say I'm really sorry and they say well we forgive you you still gotta fix the thing so there's two there are effects of the sim and so so it's a part of that effect would be what's called a temporal punishment due to sim and so that would be what's what have to do because when you sin you hurt yourself so the sin can be forgiven but the effects still remain so part of that is the weakness the hurt that you inflicted on your own self so God can forgive the sin but there's still a problem that you've got to deal with so so the sin is gone but the effects remain that make sense there's a question if somebody confesses something like murder what I can do is try to encourage them to turn themselves in but I can't talk about it right now there are several states in the United States and a couple other countries now that are trying to change the laws like for instance in all the states Minnesota included a priest a psychologist a doctor a lawyer you know a social worker whatever if you know about a case of child sexual abuse or sexist child abuse you have 24 hours to report it or you go to jail except a priest in the confessional they've got that written right into the law because they know we won't talk so now there are several states that are trying to change that law to say well if there is a cases of child abuse the priest has to talk about it we'll go to jail we cannot and we're horrified by child abuse there you know don't want to say it's okay but we cannot talk about it we can tell the person they need to turn themselves in I can even say look if you want to talk to me outside of the confessional I'm happy to go with you but if you just leave it in the confessional that's where it has to stay so we cannot say anything if it's outside of confession yeah I mean obviously we're not going to be running around telling everybody about it but but technically yes we wouldn't be excommunicated if it's outside of the confessional with somebody's penance be to turn themselves in not normally depending on what it is I mean I suppose you could do that but but generally that wouldn't be because you really have to leave that to the person's conscience to do that anybody can tell you anything bad that they've done there's nothing you can do about it but if somebody comes to me as a priest asking if they can go to confession then it's in the sacrament and so so if if you just want to talk to me about something that's no problem just like they can talk to anybody else but if they want to receive absolution they want that in the sacrament that's what makes it different it sits in the confines of that sacrament so therefore it's under that seal of the confessional if it's outside of the normal confession times I have to do is ask the priest I mean obviously if you come to confession then it's assumed that you're there for confession you know and and so so in that case like for instance if you came and talked to me and you said well I I don't want to make a confession I just want to tell you you know something and your mom came and said did my son talk to you about this even though you didn't actually confess it as as in the sacrament I still can't talk about it because we everybody else would assume it's part of the sacrament and and it's like can't can't say so okay so I would you know again depends I like for instance you be killed somebody today and then didn't turn yourself in after going to confession I would say yeah probably is you know if we're talking about something that happened years ago or something you know that might be a little bit of a question but but generally yeah I would say so so anyway so the question then is what's the priest gonna think of me if I tell them the worst thing that I ever did first of all understand this the problem really isn't what we're what the priest is going to think of us the problem is that we don't want to have to actually admit that we did something so horrible that's just part of our humanists but let me tell you what happens with the priest first of all to put your mind at ease unless you're dealing with a priest who was just ordained about a week or two ago any priests it's been ordained six months or longer has heard pretty much everything that there is to hear and I mean just about everything I've been ordained it'll be thirty years this year I have not heard anything new for more than 15 years now don't try and make anything up just to be really creative every once in a while people are really creative they've got an imagination that's way beyond mine and they come up with something really weird but I have not heard anything new for over 15 years so and I've heard everything that there is to hear well let's just put it that way and so so you know you just you yeah pretty much everything there is to hear so you're not going to shock the priest so of you if you're coming into confession you're saying this is what I did more than likely he's already heard it secondly the bigger the sin the happier the priest is going to be that you're there now the priest isn't going to be happy that you committed a big sin that's not the idea the priest is going to be happy because you're there to have your sin forgiven that you're trusting him that you're trusting God and that you are humbling yourself to confess your sin so the priest is not going to be angry at you because you did whatever you know even if you said well I've and alized your car out in the parking lot father yeah might not be too happy about that but you know you not going to be Jelena in the confessional is that's not why he's there he's there to forgive you he's there to absolve your sins and so what we if if a priest does remember something like say you let's say you went face to face is the priest going to remember he remembers anything he's going to remember that you were somebody who cared enough to go to confession that you wanted your sins forgiven and that you cared enough to want to be reconciled with God he's not gonna look at you go oh that's the kid who said this in confession that's all forgotten anyway and so so that's yeah that's not going to be a problem generally you're not going to say no I mean I suppose you could depending on like if you're in a stadium someplace with people all over the place is like this is really the best place to do this but it's like well let's find a spot you know so and I've I've had people driving down the street when I'm out on a walk and they'll slam on their brakes and say father can I can I go to confession you know it's like sure you know get in their car and hear their confession yeah it's I was walking someplace and somebody came out running out their front door can't can I go to confession like sure you know so it's like whatever so so yeah you hear confessions and odd places and in different circumstances somebody wants to go to confession we're gonna find a way to to accommodate that if we can so normally you'd have a stole on but you know I'm a priest whether I've got a stole on or not and so the power of the priesthood is is through the ordination not not necessarily through the store so the stole is the sign of the priesthood but the soul of the stole doesn't make it valid or invalid so so yeah normally if you're properly vested you'll have a stole on but you don't still valid you hear confession over the phone no we can hear all the confessions we just can't do anything about it so no confession has to be person-to-person so yeah over the phone or email or any of that isn't gonna work so okay so anyway as I mentioned to you in in the question and you know after the last talk that modern psychology is able to tell us that people have an absolute psychological need to be able to tell somebody else what they've done there are lots of people today that are paying an awful lot of money to psychologists to be able to tell them their sins a psychologist can do a lot of good for people but they can't forgive their sins and so so you know this is absolutely free there's there's no charge you get your sins forgiven heck of a deal and so so the that's and again remember the priest is there for that reason to forgive your sins that's what he wants more than anything is to be able to reconcile you with God so then again the question why do we have to confess to a priest as I mentioned earlier the priest is the representative of God he's the representative of the church when we sin we hurt ourselves we sin against this other person we also sin against the church and against God and so we have to apologize the other person but we also come to be reconciled with God and with the church and that's what the priest is there for he is he's the representative of God and of the church and and so again just it's the objective element of it you know if you lay on your bed and you think about your sins you can hope that your sins are gone but you're not sure when you walk out of the confessional if you know that you have honestly confessed your sins and you receive that solution you have absolute knowledge that your sins are gone now it's not about feelings because sometimes it feels like my sins are still there or how come I keep thinking about them all the time that's part of the effect of the sin the sin itself is gone so what I always tell people is if you've ever broken your arm and you know you go to the doctor and they put a cast on it's six weeks later they take the cast off your arms about that big around and they'll say well the bone is healed now well if you take your finger and you poke at the bone it's gonna hurt because it's tender and you're gonna say to the doctor I thought you said it's healed the doctor will say well it is but it's weak you know so you need to work to strengthen it that's what you do to your soul when you sin you hurt it you come to confession the sin is gone but the effects still remain it's still tender it's still weak you need to develop the strength you need to keep working at it to overcome the effects of the sin so you can be strengthened against it and and so so that that just takes time to be able to do that and when you go to confession if there are any mortal sins on your soul you must confess all the mortal sins along with the number of times that it's been done okay so we don't need the details understand that you're not there to explain your sins all you're there to do is confess your sins so I don't need all the details you know like for instance let's say that you stole something I don't need to know that you were in the third aisle at the grocery store and you snuck over here and you just put it in your shirt over there and you did this and that I need to know all that all they need to know is you stole something okay but I also need to know how many times so think about it for a second let's say that somebody came in to confession and it's been 10 years since they were at confession they say bless me father I've sinned it's been 10 years since my last confession I've stolen things on maybe 10 occasions okay so now I know that I'm dealing with somebody who has a problem but not a huge problem they're dealing with some maybe on average once a year then the next person comes in says forgive me father it's two weeks since my last confession and I stole things on 10 occasions now I know I'm dealing with some of you has got a real kleptomania problem and so so it I don't again I don't need to know all the details I don't need to know that one of them was from work and one of them was from somebody at home and another one was at a store and one was at school I don't need to know all that unless there's something that would change the nature of the sin that's the only time that we would need any of the details but otherwise all we need is what the sin wants but you have to confess the sin because sometimes people try to get cute and they try to get vague about the whole thing you know that happens especially if there are sins against purity you know people come in and they'll say things like I sinned against the sixth commandment okay what does that mean well it was a sexual sin like no kidding I knew that what sin are you talking about you know so I need to know what the sin is were you looking at pornography were you touching somebody what were you doing what is the sin I don't need the details it's not good for you and it's not good for me to hear those kind of details all I need to know is what the sin is but I need to know what the sin is you can't just be vague about the whole thing so also remember Jesus told us that if there is something that's hidden in the darkness it's going to be exposed in the light so you can either deal with it now or you can wait until you die and you can deal with it then now you can be forgiven after your soul leaves your body you cannot change your mind so when you leave this world there is no repenting and so when you stand before God if you have a mortal sin on your soul remember you cannot go to heaven if there's a mortal sin on your soul so it's not worth losing heaven over a little bit of embarrassment like I said the priest has heard it all anyway you don't need to be afraid he's heard it all and so don't worry about it just humble yourself get down on your knees and say bless me father I've sinned and tell them what your sins are and he'll take care of it for you you don't have to worry you don't have to be afraid like I've told you he's not there to yell at ya he's not there to condemn you he's there to forgive you and what a beautiful thing that is for the priest to be able to know that he's reconciling somebody with God and I can tell you from personal experience it's a very powerful thing when a young person comes in because when a young person comes into confession and they're truly sorry for what they've done that is a beautiful beautiful moment not only for that person for the priest as well to be able to reconcile that person with God it's a beautiful beautiful thing so there's nothing again to worry about you can come to confession you can receive God's mercy your sins are forgiven they're gone forever or you can say I'll take my chances I'll deal with God when I die that's not a good idea and so so get rid of him and and just bring him to the Lord then he doesn't have to bring them to you that's that's the beautiful thing so anyway and again let me remind you what I said whatever you say in the confessional stays there the priest cannot talk to anyone I can't talk to your parents about what you say I can't talk to another priest about what you say I can't even talk to the Pope about what you say it is absolute when after your confession is over it's over we can say nothing and if we do we are excommunicated and if you have any question about that look at st. John DePalma seen st. John DePalma seen was a priest who was the confessor to Queen in in Hungary I think it was and the queen is a saint but because she was very saintly woman when she committed any small sins she wanted to go to confession so she was going to confession probably every week and the King thought well she's going to confession every week she must be doing something really big and so he calls in the priest and says I want you to tell me what my wife is confessing he said I can't do that I said he either tell me or I'm gonna kill you well he's now a saint he's a martyr and he's a saint and not-not-not the king the priest so that's st. John DePalma scene priests will go to jail before we talk so understand that even if they change the law it doesn't matter we will not talk about what happened in the confessional and we will go to jail so anyway can't do that so yeah so the question is if somebody goes face to face and after confession if you're still out in the church can I go up and say can we talk about the sin that you committed no I can't do that you could come to me and say can I talk about what I mentioned in confession that's fine I cannot talk to you about that it's what was in the confessional stays in the confessional not everybody but yeah when they say good confession what do they mean by that what they mean is that from their perspective it sounds like you made a good honest confession so so that that you know in other words so when you leave you don't have to worry you know was I was I too vague was I you know did I confess this well enough did the priest understand what I was saying so so that's usually no but what they what they might do is again is if there's a question if there is something you're vague about they'll ask you you know what what did you mean by this or something now so so basically when they say was a good confession that just means they don't have any questions about it they're pretty clear about what you were saying and understood it all right I think other than that it's time for more questions well let me answer the first one for you we have to draw the line at passionate kissing is it okay to kiss somebody yes is it okay to passionate kiss no so the purpose of passion to kissing is to lead a married couple toward the sexual Union and so outside of marriage that would be a mortal sin so that's the line where you cross into mortal sin as a passionate kissing so if you guys want to answer the other one I can do that but don't want to hog the mic here and to answer the second question no don't don't believe it's a sin to date someone that is not Catholic I was a non Catholic da ting a Catholic so then that was not sinful so the answer would be no yeah for me I think the examination of conscience that you guys got I think that's great walking through each of the Ten Commandments one by one and thinking of like you know thou shalt not put other gods before me you know great first one but you can think you can dive into that like oh where did I not go to not pray or where did I not go to church you know you can dive into the each of the Ten Commandments there's great examination of conscience as I think you guys all got one so I think the best meaningful confession is really diving into the examination of conscious writing it down remembering these things that's that's what I do if you do a self-reflection if you like we kind of talked about in our talk but if you're reflecting on your day every single day it's a lot easier to catch your sins than if you just think about it once in a blue moon so I think that makes it a lot easier yeah and just that just to add to that kind of what we were saying in our talk that self reflection it's that day to day knowing that that you you know where your conscience is at and what's what's inhibiting you from being in union with in communing with the Lord as well I would say a priest once told me that it's very easy to cut off our sin if you make sure our sin is a tree it's very easy to cut off the branches or just the leaves and kind of mention the little things but it's also important to really confess the root of it or what we know what wound it was or whatever or what's what's leading you to get to this moment so you can more so take out the root because you think if you just cut off branches it's gonna grow back but if you actually you know uproot the tree it's it's it'll be gone so that makes sense one other thing to add to that too is remember that when we sin we violated our relationship with God so in other words if you're coming in with a list and all you're saying is I did these things wrong that's not going to get you far but if you look at it and say you know what I hurt somebody who loves me then you're gonna get a lot more out of your confession well yes as long as you're alive we have to be able to look and say look at what happened with Jesus now does God want you to suffer no that's not the whole purpose does God allow suffering to help make us Saints yes and so it's part and parcel of human life part of because of original sin in our own but there's going to be suffering and so that's going to happen in every single life and it's a question of what we're going to do with it so it's not like God is sitting up there trying to dream things up to make our lives miserable but things are going to happen in our lives and everyone is going to have to suffer and if you read the lives of the Saints they suffer a lot because they're trying to overcome all of the sins and the effects of it and it's only through suffering that that happens and God wants every one of us to be Saints and so he wants you to be a saint that means you're gonna have to share in the suffering of Christ it's the only way yeah and just add to that I would say there's always a purpose behind suffering it will come to an end there's times in our lives when were being purified or their suffering happening that there's a purpose behind it that we can go through it and then look back at the past and see this has really helped me grow this has really formed me and there's always a purpose within that suffering in it and it will come to an end because we're made for a relationship with God so yeah I think it really ties in to the Christian journey you know just we're all suffering we're all affected by sin and just by going together moving together as a unit as a church I mean coming together and saying hey we all are suffering we're all I see the effects of sin and working through that as a community as a group really brings us all together so of course suffering is not good and it's hard but it unifies us and helps us grow together as a unit I think that too like yeah it helps us grow as a unit in community it also helps you grow in your relationship with Christ I mean look at how much he suffered for us and you know any little part of his suffering that you can take part in you're growing closer in relationship with him and you're growing closer to him and in our end goal which is to spend eternity with him and so the more that you suffer on earth the closer you are to him so long as you you know see that suffering as your cross and that cross as a gift because that brings us closer to what we were made for the answer to that is yes however you cannot purposely forget them okay if you intentionally forget something none of your sins are forgiven and then you have a sacrilege so the next time you go to confession you have to confess the sacrilege you have to confess the sin that you didn't confess and then you have to Rican festival are forgiven but if you honestly forget something it's forgiven because your intention is to confess it if you would remember and so therefore if you honestly forget it is indeed forgiven if it's a mortal sin and you remember it at some future point that does not put you back in the state of sin it was already forgiven just bring it up next time you go to confession because you haven't dealt with it yet and so just let the priest know this happened whatever year ago or whatever and I forgot and and so I just want to bring it up so he knows you didn't do it last week anyway and to just add to the the last question on confession in this one at the end of each confession a pre-set also mentioned to me that it's good to accuse yourself in some way to really admit and be contrite in your in your wrongdoings to say I firmly convict myself for these sins you know have mercy on me right so before usually you know what I would do I say the sins and then I say for all these sins I firmly convict myself and I ask for forgiveness just you know it kind of encapsulates all the things that you would possibly be forgetting you know well let me put it to you this way one of the tricks that the devil pulls is to say you've already sinned you may as well keep doing it after because you haven't been to confession yet so let's say let's say tonight you can you you commit a mortal sin you're gonna go to confession next Saturday well you've already sinned so do it a few more times before Saturday right okay so now let me put it into a different context you're gonna hang a picture up on the wall this afternoon yes you miss the nail you hit your thumb well you already eat your thumb so want to do it a few more times you know you're not that stupid not gonna you're not gonna keep inflicting pain on yourself well that's what you do every time you sin okay so now also understand that if you're in the state of mortal sin that doesn't mean that you're automatically condemned if you're in the state of mortal sin get to confession make a good act of contrition even then perfect act of contrition which means you're sorry for your sin because you offended God and you can actually be restored to the state of grace right at that moment still can't go to communion until you've been to confession but you can be restored to the state of grace if you died to be able to go to heaven so the fact you're in the state of mortal sin does not mean you are condemned if you die in the state of mortal sin yes you will be condemned so repent if you fall get up make a good act of contrition get to confession and don't keep doing the mortal sin because all you're doing is hurting your soul like it's like taking that hammer and smacking your soul over and over and over again a bad idea is it bad to compare yourself to others who are cooler than you I'm not cooler than anybody so these guys these guys have to answer that question I just I don't think it's helpful I think it's I think it's good to compare yourself to yourself I think that's the only person that you can compare yourself to compare yourself to who you were yesterday and to just only compare yourself to who you were yesterday don't compare yourself to someone else because you never know let's say you're on Instagram you're look you're going through and you see someone's on a trip such an amazing life but you don't know what's on the inside you only know what's on your inside to only compare yourself to yourself who you were yesterday and you can make improvements because no matter what there's always gonna be someone that's more talented more smart I mean it there's always going to be someone better than you no matter what so I would say it's not smart to compare yourself to other people just because I mean des Lexie and I say too compares to despair you know you're never even if you're comparing to someone lesser than you I mean you know gonna find that joy so compare yourself to yourself if that makes sense yeah I think you know I was just gonna add to that and say exactly compares to the despair but Envy is that you know you're essentially you're seeing something good in someone and what other people have and you're wanting that for yourself at the root of its jealousy so to even to compare yourself you're not living in your identity you're not you know you're placing your self-worth in something that's not of God so essentially you're saying hey that person has a cool car you know I want I want a cool car you know and and and you're you're you're basing their identity based off of what they have but you're you're forgetting who you are as a son or a daughter of God and you're losing that the view of yourself by looking at others essentially God wants to view us you know us and him and that others are just meant to propel us towards that you know what does a church believe about invitations to gay weddings well with that you'd have to understand that what what they would be doing is actually a mortal sin and we cannot take part in a mortal sin so what I always tell people is what if you had a couple of friends who were going to get married and so they had a wedding register or wherever and they didn't get everything on their wedding register so they invited you to come to the store and share with them their joy as they steal all the stuff that they didn't get for their wedding would you go I would hope not because you can't be taking part in their sin well the same is true if they're doing something else that's sinful you can't take part in that and so so you'd have to you'd have to be able to say no we can't we can't support that you can can continue to love the person to continue to support the individual as a person but you can't support what they're doing because in that case what they're doing is something that's wrong you can go to dinner with them as friends that's that's fine again you're not and that doesn't mean you're you're accepting and supporting what they're doing but you're just trying to you know they're friends of yours that's fine what are the church's thoughts on surrogacy and if a man and a woman can't conceive can they use a surrogate the answer is no surrogacy is number one understand that a child is to be conceived in love surrogacy is not an act of love secondly depending on how it's done if it's with in vitro fertilization that means that first of all the whole thing was gross but you know being in a petri dish it's not an act of love and they're going to abort a half a dozen or more little babies to get the one and if it's not that is if the man has relations with the surrogate woman well that's an act of adultery that's not an act of love and and so so no it's a children are to be conceived in love within the context of marriage and they cannot we cannot accept the idea of a child being wanted because I want a child child has to be wanted for themselves so in other words you cannot do something sinful to get a child just because you want a child and and so so surrogacy would be a mortal sin I have a follow-up question for that father if I was a if I was born through surrogacy or through you know I can I can i still be loved by God yes the the fact of the matter is no matter how you're conceived whether it's surrogacy whether it's an act of fornication whether it's rape whatever it is you are still a human person with all the human dignity what happened in the time of your conception was wrong but you didn't do anything sinful and so yes you are a child of God you are a human person who is made to love and be loved and and you know you can you have all the rights and freedoms that every other human person has just in that case like I said whatever happened you to for the consumption was something that was sinful but you are not sinful or bad because of it what adoption is is you know they're they're taking with with you have already got children who are not wanted by their own parents by their biological parents for whatever reason and so someone then out of love is receiving that child into their family they didn't do anything sinful to conceive the child yeah but but rather this child is now being adopted by them so in that case it's an act of love rather heroic love on the part of the mother the biological mother to be able to say I can't take care of this child and so I'm going to let somebody else take care of them and it's a great act of love than on the part of another family to take in a child that is not their own and make them their own and so that's where the difference is that that the couple adopting has not done anything sinful to be able to to conceive the child is it a sin to use drugs and is it a sin to drink before you're 21 most of these questions are directly at me sorry yes it is a sin to do illegal drugs and it is a sin at this point unless like in your family if your parents give you a drink or something that's fine but to be doing something like going out in the car and with your friends and drinking or something yes if you're under 21 that would be a sin and even if you're over 21 and you're doing it for the purpose of getting drunk that is a mortal sin and and so but you know doing illegal drugs mind-altering drugs that would always be a mortal sin as well if there are prescription drugs no that is not a sin even if there are narcotic prescription drugs that's not a sin unless you're abusing them somehow or another then that would be but but if it's taking them for medical reason because the doctor prescribed them that would not be a sin well okay so let's say that you're at a gathering and you're talking with some of your friends and get on all of a sudden you stand up and realize you're a little bit woozy okay there wasn't any sin there unless you knew fully well you know what I've already drank too much I should stop and then you keep going then you've made a free choice but if you didn't realize that you were feeling fine no no problem and you stand up and you feel it there wasn't a sin because you weren't doing that on purpose what is the best way to worship God Mass all right great great sweets why do we go to Mass is the follow-up question why do we worship or no sorry that's way what is the best way to worship God and why do we go to Mass to take a swing take a crack at the first question I would say the best way to worship God would be mass ultimately it's you know it's the highest form of worship you can correct me if I'm wrong Father here in this right it's the highest form of worship and to go into earlier you're talking about suffering and to take our suffering you know a lot of people from you know from Monday until Sunday where we're bringing our whole entire week all of our work all of our suffering everything to to mass and offering that with with with with in the Eucharist and bringing our suffering to the crucifixion so I would say the best way to worship God is to is to take part in that mass and to understand why we go to Mass how we bring our suffering to him and then outside of that I would say you know the Lord will lead you to know him in the unique ways you know I've I feel when I like I'm when I'm going and you know into the mountains around on a hike I feel like I can be worshipping God because I can be thanking him for his creation and for the beauty I can you know thinking when I'm going sailing because of the beauty as well but also kind of what we were talking about what the men is inviting him into the small things in a big way as well so I would say mass but then also you know unique opportunities in your life to thank him for the things he's giving us and his creation yeah yeah I totally agree with that mass be the highest form of worship and second question was why we go to Mass right yeah and I think Eric kind of answered a lot of that in his answers it's the highest form of worship and you know if if we believe what we say we do then we are meeting God face to face there under the veil of bread and wine but truly it becomes his body blood soul and divinity right so I mean that's why we go as we go to receive him fully into ourselves and what better form of worship is there then that is coming to know him you know so so personally you I mean so you know you heard Lex and I say we've been best friends since we were 5 years old and if we hadn't seen each other since kindergarten like sure we could still be friends but how do we maintain a friendship for so many years that close to a friendship yeah you can catch up over the phone you can keep in touch you can text you can whatever but I wouldn't really know de Lexy I wouldn't really see her I wouldn't really love her like I do if I didn't make that time in my day for so many years to go actually spend time with her and to see her and to invest in that relationship and it's no different with the Lord in fact it's far more important to go and spend that time with him and to be with him in the flesh and that's what we're doing in mass and and like Eric said you know it's a active participation and his sacrifice on the cross it is reliving his sacrifice every single time you go to Mass and so that's where we go to lift up our sufferings to unite our cross to his cross so that yeah that's it is killing a person in war considered a murder generally not however if for since you are in a war and you just see somebody walking down the street and pick them off yeah that would be murder if you are in a battle and the enemy is shooting at you and you're shooting back and you kill somebody no that would not be considered murder the same would be true if there's a matter of self-defense if somebody's trying to do something to you you have a right to defend yourself you don't have an obligation but you have a right and so if you do something and the person winds up dying as long as it wasn't your intent to kill them but but but if they die because of self-defense that would also not be a sin is it wrong to be lgbtq+ or specifically gay or lesbian or bisexual doesn't God love everyone the answer is yes God does love everyone but and as I mentioned earlier there's a difference between the orientation and the activity if you have an orientation that that's that's that way that is not evil it does not make you unlovable there is you know it's a disorder but it is not something that is evil and and so in that case yeah there's there there would be no difference between you and any other person in that way if you're going to act on it and since then it's the same as anybody else committing any other sin you know God is not going to be happy with the sin he's still gonna love you as a person but he is not going to be happy with the sin no matter what it is whether it's a sexual sin along those lines or whether you decide to start stealing or whether you decide to start start skipping mass or whatever it may be you know he's not going to be pleased with the sin and so so that's the distinction that we have to be very clear about is the distinction between the person and the sin that the person may commit let's do can a non-religious person be good yeah okay I can answer I think um yeah non-religious person can be good we're all given different circumstances and God's not gonna gonna judge some-some guy that's living in the Congo has never heard of Jesus or never heard of anything he's not gonna send them to hell he's gonna judge them accordingly he's a good judge he's a fair judge but I mean sins and I think they can live good lives we want everyone to to be Catholic and we want everyone to to take on Christianity that's not the reality and God is a fair and just judge at the end of their lives yeah I'm just adding out that God wants to give you you have so many opportunities to receive graces from suffering and from the things that we have to go through and so I think they can be good good people but it's sad because you miss out on all of that opportunity for those graces I don't know where to read the Bible but I want to read the Bible so where should I start you can get the Bible app what's a good place okay um I mean I love the Gospels the Acts of the Apostles is a great place to start just because that's after I mean after the the resurrection and you see the the disciples going out and evangelizing and I think that is a great place to start I mean yeah start with the Gospels John is a great gospel I've learned a lot from that gospel I don't know what else yeah I mean I'd say you're you're pretty safe you can't go wrong anywhere in the Bible so that's comforting at least but yeah I agree with Shawn I'd say Gospels are a great place to start if you feel really lost like there's so many apps out there you can look up whatever the daily reading is and just read the gospel for that day it's a great way to start you're not having to pick up a whole book and read a whole book or even a whole chapter it's pretty short it's an easy day-to-day just reading whatever it is for that day or if you do want to make it through one of the books you know front to back like a gospel or pick whatever I actually I really love sea rock it's kind of a random book but I learned a lot from it um so you yeah can't really go wrong though for me I would say the Gospels as well if you want to understand the person of Jesus Christ I would just read through the Gospels and see how he responds there's a spiritual practice called lectio divina where you can read a Gospel passage and sit there and just close your eyes and you know picture the scene picture picture Christ responding and and of course you know you can take lessons from from how Jesus responds to certain people or how he you know how he's described into your own life and your own personal life for worship if you're just sitting there wanting to just glorify God thank you if you're outside and you're just you know worshipping creation and in nature or if you're in adoration I would read the Psalms a lot of the Psalms talk about it's a lot of songs towards about about worship to God and then beyond that you can go on in the New Testament in the end the letters from Paul and you know Timothy and and look at the footnotes and there's these little footnotes things and you can go in the bottom of your Bible and then it talks about the Old Testament so you can kind of get a big picture of the of the Bible and how things connect and how Jesus is fulfilling what was prophesied in the Old Testament you know that's maybe a little hard but write down footnotes look for the tiny numbers yeah yeah my personal favorite is Leviticus but that's just me note to self I joked in Atlanta all right is it possible that God used evolution to create man and the rest of creation God can do whatever he wants and so the church does not condemn the ideas of evolution however if you wanted to believe in evolution you can only believe in it to a certain point that is that the body evolved to a certain point the soul however is created immediately by God and infused into the body okay so even if you want to believe in evolution the church doesn't condemn the idea it philosophically it doesn't actually make sense because to lesser things can't make a greater thing especially billions and billions and billions of times over but regardless of that even if that were the case and we need to make clear distinction - there is zero evidence for what's called macro-evolution there is lots and lots of evidence for microevolution for instance they can prove scientifically that every human being came from one couple that's provable so there's lots of microevolution which is is basically adaptation so you look around different colors in different colors of hair different colors of eyes all these things over the centuries we have adapted to where we're living and things like that and so that's all it is but we all came from one set of parents that is scientifically demonstrable now there is no evidence for macro-evolution that is cats never became a dog you know or a giraffe never became a hippopotamus or whatever and and so there's there's no evidence for that but even if that's the case if you want to believe it you can up to a certain point but only with regard to the body not with regard to the soul and I think we'll end on this one anything can be good to get everyone's opinion and father you if you want to close this one out but why is it important to be Catholic versus any other religion well I would say bottom line when it comes down to it is we are the only faith that has the fullness of truth and I think that comes down to the Eucharist you know we like we talked about why go to Mass why is that important why is that different than any other form of worship is because we are able to receive the Eucharist which means we are literally receiving the body blood soul and divinity of God and nobody else has that and the immeasurable graces and beauty that flows from the Eucharist is just something that we can't even fully understand and I think that's partially what makes it so difficult is it is still such a mystery to us and it's something that we can't fully understand and yet it is the most beautiful part of our faith and I think that's what what sets us apart and you know for me I think what's what's really special about being Catholic is the universal nature of our faith and that's actually what the word Catholic really means is universal and for me and my own personal faith life when I really realized the truth of this and how unique and special it was was when I had the chance to study abroad so I was living in Europe for five months and going to Mass in a different country almost every weekend so I was going to mass where they were speaking German or French or whatever all these languages where I didn't understand anything and yet every time I went to Mass I knew exactly what was happening because it's the exact same place all around the world and that can't be said of really any other faith you know and so no matter where you are in the world you're still receiving God and you're still it's so universal and I think that's really what sets us apart and makes Catholicism so beautiful yeah and adding to that again I would say that the Eucharist so Christian 'ti came from Judaism and you can you know trace back the the Jewish roots of the Eucharist through Passover you know I would maybe talk to a priest about that but as well it's just the history of the church you know when I joined the Catholic Church three years ago it was specifically around the Eucharist and the history and learning that the Catholic Church really is the one that if I'm going to be Christian I need to be Catholic because you know the the priests our priest is saying the exact same words that Jesus said in the beginning and the you know priests and bishops are actually in apostolic succession I can't say that well it's succession Matt sorry yeah what is it succession yeah whatever apostolic succession there we go from from Peter from from the original apostles right historically a couple analogies that I really like to give is that you know the founding fathers of America didn't just leave the Constitution for anyone to interpret anyone to make laws out of but they also left you know a judicial system a legislative system you know different different branches of a government to specifically govern this constitution that makes sense you're probably learning about that in high school in the same way Jesus didn't just leave behind the Bible for anyone to interpret anyone to make rules or laws out of what he also left behind a church a body his people that he's still governing throughout history another analogy I like to use is a coin is that faith is is a two-sided coin you need that personal relationship with Christ on one side and knowing God but then the other half is that you actually also need the sacraments which which is the physical presence of Jesus still alive today that we can take part in so essentially the character has been around for 2,000 years governed by God's people but by divine revelation so really I mean do you want to follow a church that's been around for you know over 2,000 years or do you want follow church that began in 1563 you know because of people's belief and they wanted to go in head of God's providence for me it was the Catholic Church and that's kind of wherever out how I came to where where I am now why I think why I like being Catholic is just the sacraments you know just receiving that grace confession the Eucharist and even just having adoration and all those things believing that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Christ like I believe that you know and I don't think I could ever go to not believing that I think just yeah what why I love Catholicism so much as the the universality like you mentioned Karine in the tradition and yeah just the sacraments to just being able to dive in those sacraments and receive those graces and because um yeah Jesus said like do these things and and you will get Grace's from them and yeah you guys yeah I would say I totally agree the Eucharist and like Eucharistic Adoration those are like some of the biggest blessings in my life so I would totally agree with everything you guys said a couple of just clarification points remember that when Jesus founded his church he said you are Peter and on this rock I will build my church 1 there are 33,000 Christian denominations in America today Jesus founded one he said to whom shall we go you have the words of eternal life there is no place else to go we have to go with what Jesus founded because he promised I will remain with you all days until the end of the world and he promised the Holy Spirit to lead her into all truth and that's exactly what we have and to be clear - about the Eucharist it is indeed the body blood soul and divinity of Jesus but it's not like a blob of flesh and blood over here it is the person of Jesus it is the entire person of Jesus when you receive Holy Communion you don't take a bite out of his arm you know you receive his whole entire person and so when you go to adoration that is the person of Jesus living true person of Jesus Christ and so you know the day Jesus returns they're going to be lots of Christian people who are going to be excited and say wow let's go to the Mount of all that was because Jesus is going to be returning wouldn't it be great to see him well guess what I have to do is go to the adoration Chapel I have to do is go to Mass you get to receive him not just see him you get to have him inside of you in your heart because he loves you that much and so there is nothing greater in the entire universe and so that's what we have as Catholics we have the fullness of the truth we have the one church Jesus founded we have Jesus not just a generic belief in Jesus we have Jesus truly present in the Holy Eucharist so that is an infinite treasure it is the greatest treasure in the universe there is nothing better and there is no greater privilege than to be able to worship Him adore him and especially to receive him okay we have one question here well that's because that's what the Apostles did and so so the Sabbath and for the Jewish people was always on Saturday but because sunday was the day the Lord rose from the dead that was the day from the earliest time of the church that they celebrated Mass for the for the Christian people initially remember early Christians were Jews they went to the temple on Saturday and they had Mass on Sunday and so when they got kicked out of Judaism they just continued on Sunday so that is something that is founded from the beginning of the church that's not a madman made think you know but that's that's the day that the Apostles and the early Christians I have worship God so if they want to say well you have to do the Sabbath it's like well then you're not really being Christian in that sense you know because Christians from the very beginning have worshipped on Sunday actually was originally in Aramaic but then then then first masses were in Greek and then in the Latin and so that doesn't change the validity of it at all and and so the where the difference is isn't so much the language but the form of the mass that's what has never ever ever been done in the history of the church until 1970 and and that's that's problematic but allowing a mass to be in the vernacular with that that wasn't necessarily a problem and all the orthodox churches and in the end in the Eastern Rites of the Catholic Church masses in the vernacular that that's that's never been a problem where the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church so NASA was in Latin you know but but in the other rites of the church there are 22 rites in the in the Catholic Church they all have mass in their own language so so that part's secondary the the change of the form of the mass is a different question mass is still valid there's no that's not an issue but but basically it was rather than growing organically there was a facelift that happened in 1970 and that's never happened in the history of the church before so that would be the issue that would be a concern if anything but but you know so now we just have two forms of the same mass an ordinary and extraordinary form both are valid and and the Lord is there under heated form [Music]

Channel: Catholic Parents Online

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Keywords: Fr. Robert Altier, Fr. Altier, Catholic Parents OnLine, Catholic Youth Retreat, Catholic, Parents, Youth, Retreat, Youth Retreat, relationships, youth conference, youth conference 2019, Catholic Parents OnLine Youth Retreat, morality, principles of morality, Confession, examination of conscience, reconciliation, advice, making a good confession

Id: wYNIit5-q1s

Length: 70min 15sec (4215 seconds)

Published: Thu May 09 2019