Forcing Him To Make The Worst Choices in Imagine Lifetimes

imagine a game where you get to make choices that ruin people's lives we're gonna try and set the record on those today giving me the credits before we get into the game is only prolonging the suffering speaking of bad decisions and we made it out before we get to pick who's gonna narrate this train wreck i need to understand the american diaper oh i can change the diaper but not in a traditional sense we're gonna have a male narrator choose your favorite childhood toy the car is a little bit too creative and involves exercise both of which don't lead to a very miserable life so i'm going to pick the thing that i'm probably going to have nightmares about later mr claw the choices you're about to make will affect your character's traits strengths and something else a kindergarten exercise we're growing up quick at least i think we are i'm not sure how big the gap is between being born and going to kindergarten this requires skill this requires brain power this is stacking blocks we're gonna make a big idiot you should get started right away choose some friends do i do i have to i'm either going to pick the oldest people or the youngest the youngest because they're annoying and the oldest because they're going to die sooner than later and that leads to misery how about you you look pretty old maybe you and a few of these and your playground adventure digging in the sand playing oh we don't get the choices back again that's fine skipping rope this one's kind of dangerous that involves other people though bicycle's lonely but that involves exercise uh i like this one because we're potentially going to lose one of the kids yeah let's do that we'll play hide and seek but i won't seek the kid out a while pimple appeared welcome to life a high school sport we can make this totally miserable they're mostly all ball sports uh we have swimming and probably track some of these are a little bit too much fun this one's pretty much straight exercise and it's the most miserable because you don't get to play in the water like it's literally just pure exercise with no point now we get to pick our crush so which one of these is most likely to break our heart they all look pretty good i'm thinking maybe the t-shirt like person mr anderson do they have names they do have names mr anderson it is because that's not gonna last in an after-school activity now we're getting somewhere snacking phone games drinking smoking nose picking video games we're not giving them video games because we all like those picking the noses humorous but drinking or smoking is probably the most damaging and i say probably because diabetes are also a wild ride we're gonna try drinking why don't you do something productive instead i think you're missing the point of the game narrator we're not here to thrive we're here to make things as miserable as possible delivering newspapers is probably somewhat enjoyable you get exercise you're outside people mostly leave you alone that's maybe not everyone's cup of tea but i feel like that's better than working in fast food or you know sending faxes in a money machine i think fast food is the worst because you're probably also going to eat food while we're there and that's not going to be good flipping burgers or also drinking i'll tell you when it's enough i'm allowed to drink all i want i wonder who's gonna get tired of this first me or the game i just need to have a little buzz before i make decisions it's my artistic process 77 should be enough for one day now we're getting somewhere we get to pick a college major but somehow i'm more interested in what this dial does well what do we know about ourselves so far we're an alcoholic that works at a fast food place who stacked blocks as a child and there's a lot of things that really fit that kind of a lifestyle but it seems to be offering us up drinking again and again and again psychology would be interesting in this case because i could study myself but we're pretty much just gonna go at drinking this isn't all i ever wanted it's what i needed overdose i was drinking was it worth it yeah i didn't even make it out of college no i didn't even make it into college i died flipping burgers as a drunk alcoholic back in field though am i right so mission accomplished there take good care of it this time around all right let's roll the dice again this time the baby's head exploded which is fun oh do we get better choices now overdose ending you ran out of health oh there's so many uh different endings we could go for i don't want this one because it looks like it ends with a child is quitting ever an option probably not doctor i've got bad news for you if you're trying to psychoanalyze me it's not going to go very well choose to shovel your childhood no no no i want to pick these things i don't want you to hand them to me i have a carefully calculated plan or was that trying to tell me that the first four choices don't actually matter that's better choose your favorite childhood toy i wanted laundry detergent i stand by what i said it was laundry detergent oh okay we're drinking it up now i kind of thought that was not what that was but great happy with the results crawl towards comfort but there's no laundry detergent in there how could we ever do that we're just gonna back away slowly until we get some softener in there oh oh i mean i guess we'll just go for it since it's giving us the option probably not a great option but you know probably not as bad as overdosing on alcohol or that i not sure i understand this metaphor and i'm not sure i want to that apparently uh was a valid ending though so um cool if anyone out there's life didn't that way let me know in the comments below wow that last one really ended quick i'm still processing that we take a bunch of laundry detergent then uh made some questionable crawling choices again the vehicle is too much fun this is also too much fun this looks just miserable a music box yeah we could pursue a life of music that's plenty miserable which means we probably need to be somewhat artistic yeah we'll push this for now we're going to learn to paint that's pretty much the same as music so we're going to roll with leonardo da vinci down here and that's good enough for us which one of these sports is the most musical tennis because you have to ground then our crush is probably uh you know still going to be the teacher because we want a miserable life no matter what now we're going to be some kind of musical person that smokes a lot because that seems like a nice contrast i'm not entirely sure but smoking is probably good for your voice along with speaking loudly and consuming grace and yelling at customers we'll take one of those now for a college major in music of some kind yup write up music though smoking is tempting me again but we're gonna stick with music i want to see this one through to the end wow that was easy the world is at your feet thanks to your degree in music and crippling smoking habit nothing's going to stop me now okay so we have the travel path the career path partner path and housing path we can't do any of the other things because we need a partner and or a house well let's face it the career path is going to be the most debilitating choose your search method computer newspaper well the newspaper is obviously the wrong choice the other one involves talking to people and we're not going to do that time to choose our career in music so amateur artist travel agency manager or indie game developer yeah that music degree is really working wonders for me travel agency manager sounds too secure amateur artist sounds like a bad career because you're an amateur this is also pretty risky but that could also be quite fun amateur artist it is sign the contract deployment agreement uh title amateur artist oh okay it's random with uh hopefully none of the above that are good sorry my degree is in music i'm not really good at writing really want to land on terrible or absolutely no oh we get terrible benefits i didn't really pay attention to anything else choose your difficulty setting senior level junior tutorial level uh we're going to go for the senior level after all i do have a degree in music best choice ever couldn't agree more drink a cup of coffee this one i'm pretty good at is this a trick i feel like nothing is supposed to be going right by this point in the game uh okay money is falling from the sky now i drinking a lot of coffee in my time and never had this result the first paycheck will be going on to i guess buying a partner because that's an option we're gonna order one in from somewhere else how is your love life coming along i think we're gonna try and find a female swipe to collect potential matches do i have a choice which way to go i'm not i'm not i'm not really sure how this works am i being old right now i don't okay we threw that one to the left for some reason i don't know which way i'm supposed to be dragging these or what i'm supposed to be doing they're all annoying me at this point though so they're all gonna go in the garbage willow i managed to swipe on you i'm not really sure what i'm doing wrong now it's starting to work again and ivy we're gonna leave you hanging there i feel like i've got enough i have a musical arts degree by the way so i should be able to close any one of these these two are the same by the way i've had enough clones for one lifetime thank you willow it is choose your type of date well intellectual sounds like it could be awfully dry adventurous could go either way romantic intellectual i'm gonna tell her all about my musical arts degree and how i'm an amateur painter with no benefits my next move make it official escape or one time thing i mean that date was horrible intellectual who does she think she is we're getting out of here immediately but we can still do the housing path we don't need a partner for that so do we want the trailer uh the apartment the trailer the house the trailer the apartment or the trailer you know what i just can't commit to a home that stays in one place this one i'm able to pack up and go as i want choose a pet there's only one two pet and it's a dog a decorative plant we can have a croton plant a radioactive cactus or a weeping fig we're gonna go with a radioactive cactus naturally that way you can instill fear and those around it choose the size of your television small as possible we're not a great success in life what do you mean i've got my life together i thought it was an amateur artist with no benefits and no spouse and i guess a dog is pretty good though before chasing his retirement let's see if we can make our career even worse i feel like we're succeeding too much this time we're going to check online because if people are going to bother to put a job in the newspaper it's probably gotta be decent people put anything online though your actions may have serious consequences choose the severity of your crimes absolutely maximum i'm pretty sure the slider can go can go more but i'm sure this could have no possible ramifications at all now we can afford to buy two wives are you in trouble no i got a present is that what everyone says when they get a gift in the mail am i in trouble no you open it and enjoy it but also i kind of want to bring someone down with me so let's get married now uh notorious ending i feel like we're having an ending it was five minutes ago okay i guess i got murdered again i just wanted to make a little money and you know i wish i got to have a family to bring down with me but maybe next time oh i still get to open my present though what's in here have any regrets no regrets whatsoever i'm very happy with the way that turned out are you saying this was the moment i lost my innocence because i have to disagree with you this time let's make some money we're gonna make some um mouse uh we're gonna actually start with the cleaner uh i know we said we're going to make good choices but i can't help it when i give the chance to give a baby laundry detergent i do it okay you go this way this time oh the baby is a laundry detergent oh are we going in the washing machine that's okay too i feel like that's another ending though probably not gonna make a lot of money but i am gonna be softened and smell pretty nice well maybe also being fairly clean overall four minutes make it 40. you could probably survive that okay if you will let me not have to sit here for three minutes and 40 seconds i will happily place another toddler in there for you oh i didn't mean to stop it i just got impatient don't stop it let it go yeah there we go okay i'll see you guys in three and a half minutes i'd say this has been a long four minutes but it's actually been the best four minutes of my life but we finally get to see the outcome four minutes in the washing machine but i am full of detergent so the closures will be clean and we're ready uh this is called the laundry ending so i assume it's an ending not you know anything furthering for life oh do we get the washing machine pregnant nope looks to be a regular garden variety baby so maybe this time let's put the creepy doll that looks like it would get you murdered for holding up and i feel like reading is probably gonna make us the smartest and then as many friends as we can find because i need lots of networking i need all sorts of job potential and you know slaves and minions and whatever else now it gives me cheerleading volleyball ice hockey track and field football well of all of those football is going to be the highest potential earner not that i'm necessarily going to follow sports but we're following the potential here now can we exploit any of these people for money well a few of them look like they might have model potential and if i can just leach off someone else's success i will after school activity is either going to be playing on my phone or video games probably playing on my swiping oh swiping isn't likely to make me money that's going to be a distraction we need gaming then our first part-time job is going to be dealing with money that's going to make us want more of it and we can maybe steal a little bit of it then we could go into something like accounting so we get an understanding of money or banking or a business both of those i feel a pretty high potential from an earning perspective turns out if you click on them they start exiting themselves out and you can double x them out okay we're simply gonna go into business the business of making money no matter what we have to do together then we're gonna skip the travel option and go straight to career we need money now i feel like we can use all of our networking from earlier that'll get me a good job for sure i see a pie chart station a journalist or business advisor i guess a business advisor because that's probably got the highest earning potential though i was hoping for better on this one i actually do want the money so it looks like it's kind of in a repeating loop doesn't it right there oh that's not good eighteen hundred dollars a month with absolutely no benefits long days difficulty setting maximum then the coffee ever a tradition i would buy a wife at this point but we're going back to work i need a better job do i need more no i want more uh this time we're going to try the internet oh yeah this leads us to crime my actions may have serious consequences so we're gonna take just a little pile of money that doesn't seem like it could be too bad i probably won't get murdered but i might go to jail for a while as long as i put my money away using my business skills i'll come out on top i get a bloody envelope but that doesn't seem as bad as the bloody package probably just a threat something i can pass off on my partner my love life is just fine click right to approve oh i should have read that last time huh uh yeah approve approve approve approve i need all the options in the world except for tina tina's stupid all the rest of them though and uh yeah that's probably good enough for me and it only gives me three choices anyways i'll take the one that glows in the dark vivian let's do this then for a date i think we're gonna go with adventurous maybe it'll go horribly wrong and we'll die the next move we're going to make it official hopefully she's rich because i'm not sure i accumulated a large amount of money oh the package is back that can't be good um housing path please don't murder me oh that doesn't sound good at all we really need to stay away from the life of crime we only took a little pile of money still no regrets but i'm not a really quick learner as you're about to find out this time i made all the same choices except for i did notice there is an escape from reality option not sure if we had that last time but i kind of want it legend tells of a portal to be explored by every mortal a spell was cast by its maker you'll have a blast as a partaker do i get to put any more toddlers in washing machines because i really enjoyed that part the keeper she holds a key and so do these the letter g i don't want to think i just want to do things and up c upside down c is that what it's trying to tell me i think it's a g and j because that's the first thing i tried and then this happened oh we found a portal to the next dimension this has got to be a good ending right escapism 101 oh okay and um we found a world of video games and we're back okay so moving on to the uh regular game we're gonna do banking because i need money right back to the good old career path and we're gonna use our networking not the internet because that always leads to crime that leads us to death just like in real life we can have a career as a bank teller an activist or recruiting manager i'll take the manager position that probably has some money okay i was hit by lightning this time around not fair this could have happened to anyone that could have happened to anyone writers is about to sign my horrible employee contract deal i'll never get a break we've wisely randomly shuffled through our childhood to get right back a career path hopefully with some better jobs available we're going to do the networking again but hopefully we have some better job options and some with less lightning striking well this is different financial advisor history teacher building inspector probably a financial advisor we need all the help we can get for ourselves still about the same everything it just depends on this and how much lightning strikes me at the moment 24.88 with absolutely no benefits and the money coffee this happens in real life by the way if you guys haven't drink coffee before try it and see the results our first paycheck is going back to work we need a second career we need to milk everything we can out of this life we're gonna try the newspaper though oh no no crime this time i'm gonna give all the money back i don't even want the money can we just we just how much we do we have to take at least no we don't have to we can bind it back all right we're not taking any money no can we do the career again without being portioned to crime thank you no network then this time we could be a web dev financial advisor or sales manager we want to be a web designer for the same salaries and everything is always but a second career never hurts 24.88 with decent benefits only 11 hours a day on maximum difficulty i just realized that i don't think i've made it to the end of this once so far we've managed to screw it up every single time think of screwing up we're going to skip the spouse and go straight to house what if your life is nothing but a computer simulation well i don't know what's going on with that house though property file corrupt perfect exactly what i want move your stuff oh this is getting interesting what if it were based on a lie choose a pet cat oh the cactus before i came from this area croton cactus weeping fake let's face it this is the most important option we're faced with and i'm still going to go with the cactus and should be intimidating control room integrity 64. i think i've solved the puzzle captain not quite sure i'm not much of an intellectual am i but apparently that was a simulation ending and uh we're pretty uh you know extra extra large we're successful in life and our the size of our tv is going to reflect that all right networking we should have made some good money along the way some good contacts so what kind of jobs can we do aircraft engineer or chemist aircraft engineer sounds lucrative but so does a chemist we'll try the chemistry option aircraft engineer has a good potential for uh you know disaster too but a chemist probably has more we're gonna let some good stuff out of the labs three thousand dollars a month with decent benefits always at the senior level now we can retire after living through three careers and one life enjoy the comforts of your retirement home if i have one of these in my retirement home i will be pretty happy and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting oh it says endure the comforts of your retirement home not enjoy them i've been doing it wrong this entire time and it's it's over okay never mind that must have been exactly five minutes i figured nothing was going to happen at that point retirement seems nice i'm so sorry but you're dead again yeah every ending we picked uh wound up with us being dead but i still particularly enjoyed the one where we put a toddler in the washing machine

Channel: DangerouslyFunny

Views: 1,114,387

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Id: dXuf_MbQ-lY

Length: 19min 32sec (1172 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 03 2020