Food Theory: Can A Slap REALLY Cook A Chicken?

matt here with slap cook your friends all be shook when you show them the slap cook now look here's a chicken one 3725 mile per hour slap later lightly roasted two slaps burned to a crisp it completely pulverized my countertop i accidentally left it on overnight now i don't have a house my son-in-law's face got in the way of this thing and it finally slapped some sense into the dang kid the slap cook hello internet welcome to food theory where we're asking you to slap that subscribe button at precisely 3725.95 miles per hour for all you across the pond that want to slap that subscribe button that's 5996 kilometers per hour that's right friends today we're talking about cooking chickens by slapping them don't look at me like that you saw the thumbnail you know the meme you clicked that's why we're all here see the question at hand is this if kinetic energy is converted to thermal energy upon impact how hard do you need to slap a chicken in order to cook it and first and foremost here can i just say that i love the question it's a perfect blend of absurdity and newtonian physics and i am super jealous that i wasn't the first one to think of it now this thought experiment seems to have originated with a 2018 reddit post but it wasn't until 2019 that it achieved full-blown mainstream virality when it was posted to the no stupid question subreddit normally this would be the kind of question that would get me to dust off the old ti-89 and come up with a definitive answer but that ground has already been well trodden reddit user stumbly b replied to the original post with a calculation that a single slap with a velocity of 825 miles per hour or 368 meters per second would do the trick but ultimately it was parker ormonde our self-described friendly neighborhood physics major whose answer became immortalized in meme after meme after meme by orman's calculations a human hand traveling at 3725.95 miles per hour or 1665.65 meters per second would do the trick now both answers are way way way faster than a human being can achieve in real life given that even top tier professional baseball pitchers max out in the vicinity of a hundred miles per hour 44.7 meters per second but i'm not going to let a little thing like the laws of physics derail today's episode friends i started researching this topic because i wanted to find someone capable of slap cooking a chicken and dang it that's exactly what i'm gonna do friends if real life humans are incapable of cooking a chicken then we'll have to look beyond real life the internet has tossed out plenty of ideas but today we're going to answer the question definitively which fictional character would be best equipped to slap cook a chicken like what exactly does our tear list here look like so fire up both brain hemispheres theorists because today we're blending physics food and fiction first off let's lay down the ground rules the point is to cook a chicken by slapping it and supplying it with kinetic energy as per that original reddit prompt that means no cheating by using thermal energy sorry human torch but slapping with flaming hands violates the spirit of this challenge now we're obviously talking about a very very very big slap here using the equation kinetic energy equals half mass velocity squared we can determine that a 0.4 kilogram hand traveling at 1 65.6 meters per second yields nearly 555 000 joules of energy that is the same amount of energy as a 3 000 pound car traveling 63.9 miles per hour it doesn't take a physics major to understand that if a car hits a chicken on the freeway that chicken is gonna get obliterated this means that a massive slapper punch even though it technically packs the correct amount of kinetic energy to cook the chicken wouldn't actually cook the chicken it would destroy the chicken sure the idea of a single punch delivering enough energy to cook a chicken might be fun in theory but in practice we want there to still be a chicken to eat afterward rather than completely pulverizing the thing with a single slap or if you prefer one punch sorry saitama you can warm the bench over here with captain falcon and the hulk now our friendly neighborhood physics major parker ormonde anticipated this while his single slap figure has been the one getting the most play in the mimi's he also calculated how a chicken could theoretically be cooked with 23 034 average slaps where a human's hand is traveling just 11 meters per second but as every good scientist knows you can theorize all you like the real testing ground is actual experimentation and true to form someone did an experiment to test whether twenty three thousand thirty four slaps would suffice to actually cook a chicken right here on this wonderful website we call youtube hats off to louis wise who documented his epic journey to create the uh the the meat beater um the meat beater 9001 yes its model number really is over 9 000. the meat beater as the name suggests is a device intended to pound chicken flesh until it heats it up enough to cook obviously what else would that combination of words mean and my friends this this unholy creation this might very well be the pinnacle of human engineering not only was it able to perform 135 000 slaps it did so rapidly enough to overcome heat loss and actually cook a chicken in real life seriously if you have not watched this video i encourage you to do so meatbeater9001 is mark rober level stuff and it dares us to ask nate it demands that we ask not what is practical but what is possible obviously a human can't slap a chicken this rapidly or this consistently for six hours heck even lewis's mechanical arm had trouble but i'm still curious to know if there's a fictional character out there who's suited for this very specific very random task so in order to determine what makes an ideal chicken slapper let's pick up where louis wise left off from his many attempts at creating an optimal or at the very least functional chicken slapping machine he came to three core conclusions one fast slap rate two impact control and three minimal heat loss obviously faster slap rate heats the meat faster less time between slaps means less time for the chicken to cool down and less heat loss means a shorter cook time impact control meanwhile is gonna be important if we want our results to be at all appetizing because as we saw with that whole chicken on the freeway thing earlier slapping too hard is gonna turn our chicken into pulp what we need is a character who's quick because this is all about energy and energy is actually a function of time it's true one joule of energy is equal to one kilogram times one meter squared divided by one second squared to put it in non-mathematical terms the shorter the time the more energy you get that is to say a kid who can carry out a slapping motion with their hand in one second will transfer more kinetic energy to a chicken than say a sloth who takes 10 seconds to complete the same slapping motion but more to the point heat loss between slaps is also a function of time which means that a character able to deliver light rapid slaps one after the other really is gonna be giving us the best bang for our buck for every single one of our requirements so whoever our fictional character of choice is they gotta go fast and obviously that brings to mind one character in particular sanic he's been a main stand game theory since the channel's earliest days and come to think of it he's also been a mainstay of film theory since sonic the hedgehog ended up being one of the few movies they actually got to watch in theaters in 2020 and now i have my excuse to talk about the blue blur on food theory feels like the circle has finally completed itself so we all know that sonic is capable of doing things really fast and those of you who've read the archie comics or have watched my video on game theory about sonic's time bending powers we'll know what i'm talking about he's able to scoop up a handful of water form it into a ball and throw it at a bird in the span of get this point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one milliseconds and mind you this wasn't part of some test of endurance or him having to come in under the wire to save the day he was just doing this for the funsies it was literally just a prank bro so if he can pull all that off surely he can slap a chicken in that same amount of time and that means that for him to deliver 135 000 slaps it would take him a mere .00000135 milliseconds or to save us the trouble of counting all those zeros 13 and a half pico seconds a pico second is one trillionth of a second that's to accomplish what took louis wise's machine six hours and mind you the faster cooking time means less heat dissipation meaning the amount of slaps we need is actually significantly less than that to calculate how much heat we're saving by doing things fast all we need to do is use our experimental data after combing through hours yes hours of lewis wise's live streams you're welcome for the watch time there buddy we can observe that in the moments when it's not actively being slapped the chicken is cooling by 1 degree celsius every 13 minutes and 42 seconds that means that over the course of the six hours of cooking the heat dissipation is enough to lower the temperature by roughly 26 degrees meaning that a machine or blue hedgehog that didn't have to worry about heat dissipation would require 29 fewer slaps or another less complicated way to say all of this for every 10 slaps that the machine's dishing out three of those slaps were simply offsetting the heat loss of that amount of time so while the meat beater 9001 might take 135 000 slaps to cook a chicken sonic could do the job in a mere 95 850 slaps and unlike the meat beater which did it in six hours sonic could actually do it in 9.6 pico seconds yeah the fewer slaps means that the 13.5 was actually an overestimate he can do it in 9.6 and that updated slap count which works out to 117 slaps per second is the maximum cooking efficiency ensuring effectively zero degrees our loss due to heat dissipation during the cooking process so do you want to be able to slap cook a chicken all you need to do is deliver it 117 slaps per second and that is um definitely beyond the realm of possibility the current world record for delivering punches is 334 punches in a single minute it's uh certainly impressive but you're gonna need to be 21 times faster than that to reach optimum chicken heating capacity so who is capable of delivering 117 slaps per second to pokemon machamp according to his pokedex entry and fire red his four arms can deliver a combined thousand punches every two seconds meaning that ma champ will heat that chicken to cooked in just under three minutes and five seconds not quite the 9.6 pico seconds that we calculated for sonic but still he's a winner winner of some chicken dinner as for other candidates quicksilver is probably getting the job done if his body can react fast enough to move out of the path of a bullet in .006 seconds which is what we see him doing the x-men movies then surely he can deliver a slap in that same amount of time which would amount to 160cc slaps per second comfortably over our requirement for optimum heating though even at those speeds it would still take him nine minutes and 37 seconds to deliver enough slaps to fully cook the thing and you see that bullet dodge actually gives us a pretty good benchmark as we saw with quicksilver any character fast enough to react to a speeding bullet is meeting the requirement for not losing a single degree of heat during the slap cook so that includes the likes of neo goku superman the flash other speedsters now i also looked into characters capable of freezing time after all someone like zack morris or link from breath of the wild would be able to stop time lightly slap the chicken thousands of times at his leisure and then technically cook the chicken in zero seconds right well not quite remember how we established that energy as a function of time basically if no time passes there can be no energy if we plug a zero into the equation from earlier that results in a value that's undefined you can't divide by zero here people so characters capable of slowing time down are actually far more effective at cook slapping a chicken than characters who can only freeze time outright so ultimately i'm gonna have to give the slapping crown to sanic not only does he meet the requirement of delivering those slaps in less time than it would take the chicken to cool down due to heat dissipation but he delivers those slaps in less time than it takes to blink in fact based on what we know about the speed that human eyelids move he's cooking that chicken about 10.4 billion times faster than the blink of an eye hey want to see me cook a chicken want to see me do it again and again and again and again of course he's fictional so we'll never actually get to enjoy a sonic slap cooked chicken however what we can enjoy is a delicious meal from the sponsor of today's episode hellofresh steph and i have been on the hellofresh train for a while now cause it cuts out stressful meal planning and prepping that way you can just enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in about 30 minutes or heck even 20 minutes with their quick and easy options for when you gotta go fast now i know what you're all wondering and the answer is yes i did try slapping some of the hello fresh meals and no it did not work out i highly recommend sticking with their easy to follow instructions because why mess with perfection hellofresh has more 5 star recipes than any other meal kit so you know that you're getting something delicious every single time especially if you order the garlic bread which is just incredible on its own so here's the deal theorists head on over to hellofresh.com and use the code food theory 12 to get yourself 12 free meals and and get this free shipping by the way not only is the shipping free but hellofresh is also really great about letting you change your delivery days or skipping a week when you need to and that's really useful for us because our family has an unpredictable schedule i would assume you are largely the same way and that might be helpful to you too again this is 12 free meals that we're talking about people no strings no hidden delivery fees nothing 12 meals of free food delivered straight to your door so get on it go to hellofresh.com and use the code food theory 12 to let them know that i sent you and remember theorists that's just a theory all food theory bon appetit [Music]

Channel: The Food Theorists

Views: 3,877,056

Keywords: slap a chicken, slap a chicken to cook it, chicken slapper, slaps to cook a chicken, how many slaps to cook a chicken, chicken recipe, cook a chicken with slaps, cook chicken by slapping, fried chicken, roasted chicken, food theory, food theorists, matpat, food, recipe, game theory, film theory, eat the menu, binging with babish, delish, food tik tok, tik tok food, slap a chicken until it's cooked, slapping a chicken, slap a chicken to cook, louis weisz chicken, louis weisz

Id: E9exmuXjzIQ

Length: 13min 10sec (790 seconds)

Published: Sat May 29 2021

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Slap the cock pianist

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we did it boys.