Food Theory: Kool Aid Man Is A Marvel Villain!

[Music] hey kool-aid man got a question for you are you the jar or are you the liquid inside your jar well i got a question for you are you the ugly face or the know-it-all inside the ugly face yeah pretty rude ain't it are you drinking yourself oh yeah [Music] hello internet welcome to food theory the show that feeds you the facts with plenty of punch lines we here at food theory usually tackle topics like well food kind of goes with the name but today we were inspired to do something a little bit different something a little cooler with a k if you know what i mean yep today we're theorizing about everyone's favorite beverage mascot from grade school the kool-aid man ask any rando on the street if they love the kool-aid man they'll probably tell ya oh yeah i mean how can you not enjoy this guy since being introduced in 1954 the kool-aid man has become one of the most iconic enduring and memeable food mascots of all time besides the product he's selling you helps you hit your daily recommended sugar intake in a single glass who doesn't love efficiency like that and that's pretty much how everyone's been thinking of the kool-aid man for decades and decades and decades and decades but earlier this year an online debate was ignited and it's been raging ever since people across every conceivable platform are trying to figure out whether the kool-aid man is the glass jar or whether he's the liquid inside that glass jar like where exactly is the kool-aid man's soul is it the liquid or is it the pitcher that contains the essence of the kool-aid man's being so i have two things to say about this first kool-aid man is absolutely and verifiably the glass pitcher guys we straight up watch him fill himself with regular old shower water in a commercial close up shop pack it in the kool-aid man is a sentient glass pitcher that fills himself with water and flavoring as a part of his morning routine done but hey that's just a theory of food theory no that's not it you see there's a second point i'd like to make in all this this is he the jar business is entirely the wrong debate we should be having about the kool-aid man what should be concerning us about this guy is whether he can be stopped listen up and listen good folks here's today's theory and it's a doozy the kool-aid man is low-key becoming the most unstoppable force in any known universe and before long he may just become the big villain of the next generation of marvel films and this isn't just some theoretical exercise where i'm gonna argue that the kool-aid man might one day join the marvel universe if fans beg it to happen i'm telling you that the kool-aid man is already in the marvel universe and fans better start begging for him to leave it yesterday otherwise they're going to have themselves a second thanos on their hands only this time he's also cool refreshing and filled with a whole lot of sugar consider this the kool-aid man has been growing stronger and accruing powers for over 65 years in 1954 he was merely a sentient juice pitcher and nothing more his origins unclear but in the mid 20th century he was the size of a normal juice pitcher and he was immobile on account of having no limbs by 1975 however that had all changed the kool-aid man had evolved he had somehow grown limbs making him approximately the same height as everyday human adults with his newfound mobility and strength the kool-aid man went about making his mark on pop culture by smashing through walls and giving mysterious unsolicited drinks to children here bringing you fun kool-aid [Music] as a parent i'm not sure that commercial would convince me to buy kool-aid for my kids but hey it was a different time fortunately contemporary commercials are way less creepy something's happening in my mouth or not fast forward to this decade and we can immediately see that the kool-aid man's evolution hasn't stopped what's that it's a kool-aid liquid squirt some in the water and boom kool-aid okay so his voice definitely isn't as good as it used to be back in his oh yeah days but everything else about him has evolved like his size in the 70s he may have been approximately six feet tall but these days he is absolutely towering over human beings but my calculations kool-aid man is 32 percent taller than the woman opposite him in this commercial from 2014. the average height of an american woman is five foot four inches which would put the kool-aid man's height at just over seven feet oh and uh never mind the fact that the kool-aid man also now possesses the ability to straight up inhabit any non-living object that he desires i'm gonna say that again because there's a good chance that the adults out there haven't checked in on the old kool-aid man for a decade or two i repeat 21st century kool-aid man can transform himself into any non-living object he desires and make it living he's basically like i don't know mystique for non-living objects i mean this ain't your grandma's juice pitcher with a face for one thing your grandma's juice pitcher is made of glass and the kool-aid man is made of something not glass how can we be sure because of this revealing moment [Music] has anyone who's ever pulled this trick at a dinner party can tell you that loud hum sound can't be achieved if a wine glass is made of everyday glass it has to be made of crystal because the resonant frequency basically the frequency at which a given object naturally vibrates of crystal glassware often falls within the range of human hearing now does this mean that kool-aid man is made of crystal i'm thinking it does but more on that in a bit because right now i want to get to our top story of the day the present-day kool-aid man possesses the ability to create portals that link dimensions together [Music] plus he's been gaining strength and powers non-stop for 66 years and shows no signs of slowing down in fact it's just the opposite dude could be immortal for all we know because he's gaining powers at an accelerating rate and that's precisely what makes him so dangerous loyal theorists there's no telling how powerful the kool-aid man might become if he goes unchecked now at this point you might be saying to yourself so what matpat let the kool-aid man become powerful inside his isolated little kool-aid universe well that's precisely where you're wrong jack cause get this kool-aid man is part of the marvel universe yeah that is officially canon and we're not talking about some little cameo here either in 1983 he got his own marvel comic book series the adventures of kool-aid man consumers were encouraged to mail in proof of purchase seals in order to collect the comics which featured the kool-aid man battling evil creatures called thirsties on earth throughout outer space and even through time this is not a joke the kool-aid man is a superhero who saves earth from thirst again and i cannot stress this enough this is marvel canon here is the kool-aid man explicitly referring to the amazing spider-man in 1983 i repeat the kool-aid man's comic books link him to marvel's mainline 616 universe precisely the same marvel universe as the avengers as spider-man as the x-men as basically every other marvel character you care about and even if it weren't the mainline 616 universe it wouldn't matter thanks to spider-verse and end game universe hopping ain't totally out of the question in the marvel cinematic universe anymore in fact if i had to pick one outsider who could justifiably hop into the mainline 616 i'd probably go with the marvel hero who you know can create portals that allow him to hop between universes look all i'm saying is that if howard the duck can make an mcu appearance the kool-aid man is certainly not out of the question so no the kool-aid man is not isolated to some fictitious universe that can't possibly affect your life he's liable to interfere with movies and i pee you love to your core i know you like the guy because he's the mascot of your favorite childhood drink and he's super memeable and all that but it's time to recognize the truth of the matter kool-aid man is in a position to hurt you again it's the evolution of the kool-aid man that's so dangerous here we can even put a numerical value on his astounding accumulation of superpowers thanks to marvel's power grid if you're unfamiliar with the marvel power grid the website fandom describes it like this quote the power grid is the means by which the proficiency of any given character in six different areas of prowess is officially quantified and ranked in any given area one represents the lowest and seven the highest rank achievable so the power grid is the official metric of measuring superpowers across the marvel universe which means that we can apply the power grid to kool-aid man in 1954 his power grid scores couldn't be more straightforward 50s kool-aid man gets the lowest score as possible straight runs across all six categories as far as intelligence is concerned he communicates only through simple song phrases he learned by envelope rote 50's era kool-aid man has no limbs which means he's completely immobile he has no speed no fighting ability no strength to speak of he exhibits no evidence of energy projection and his durability is never put to the test as a result he's basically the crappiest hero you could ever imagine with a combined power grid total of six by the time the 70s roll around though the kool-aid man has grown himself some limbs while 70s era kool-aid man is technically mobile he's not quite fast enough to be considered of normal speed like wolverine and captain america are so he remains at a 1 for speed however the durability department is where the 1970s kool-aid man shines 20 years ago he was just the glorified equivalent of a paperweight now he's bursting through walls without a scratch to show for it meaning that he's more durable than an average human that is the very definition of enhanced durability and it earns him a score of three in that department 70s era kool-aid man has a combined power grid total of nine but it's when we depart from the 1970s that kool-aid man's power grid numbers really start to move intelligence-wise he moves up to a two not only is he using logic to defeat the thirsties in his comic he's also dropping some killer puns i mean if that's not average intelligence i don't know what is as for strength the kool-aid man is able to hold his own body weight plus two kids single-handedly from a rope the power grid defines average strength as the ability to press your own body weight over your own head and this slick rope maneuver kool-aid man pulls off is more than comparable two points for strength as for speed in the 70s he was stumbling around like a top heavy toddler today he's running around nimbly with the speed of a normal human at least his durability remains enhanced so that's still three points and he makes quick work of multiple thirsties on multiple occasions which gets him two points for fighting ability but the huge leap is an energy projection folks the kool-aid man is suddenly capable of projecting light energy portals snow let's go that's right the kool-aid man can create his own snow he can project multiple types of energy which actually makes him a level six in this category present-day kool-aid man has a cumulative power score of at least 17. in terms of cumulative points that puts kool-aid man right on the heels of earth 616 spider-man earth-616 wolverine and even professor x never mind the fact that he's capable of some insane things the power grid doesn't even have explicit categories for like the ability to hop between universes or the ability to inhabit pretty much any non-living object you can imagine at this rate where will he be 40 years from now 10 years one year point is we're running out of time soon nothing will be able to stop the kool-aid man and as a matter of fact we might already be too late remember earlier when i mentioned that the kool-aid man might be made of crystal that's because he exhibits powers eerily similar to those of the queen of crystal heart herself emma frost whose crystal of choice is organic diamond emma who's from the x-men canon which is a marvel property which means that the kool-aid man may just be made of the same type of crystal as emma when in her diamond form emma frost becomes translucent but maintains mobility and she's virtually indestructible remind you of anyone in particular and when she's in her diamond form emma frost is resistant to heat to cold she has no need to breathe this brings to mind the kool-aid man's casual jaunt into outer space without so much as a space suit on in order to survive a spacewalk like that and he did survive it just fine he would have to have no need for oxygen and he would have to be able to weather extreme temperatures that no human can possibly withstand the implication of course is that the kool-aid man may have similar powers to the incredibly powerful emma frost might this indicate that some of emma frost's other impressive abilities such as telepathy telekinetic potential will they come to the kool-aid man in time if so it hardly seems fair he already has himself a wide variety of other superpowers reminiscent of other powerful marvel characters the kool-aid man has a doctor strange-like ability to create and utilize portals he can shape-shift into non-living objects like some kind of off-brand mystique and not least of all he's got juggernaut's ability to run through walls and deliver unforgettable catchphrases i'm the juggernaut yeah i mean we already have iron man spider-man ant-man why not kool-aid man i can see it now with grape powder comes great responsibility so listen up and listen good unless you want to see the kool-aid man squeeze himself into a skin-tight avengers body suit you need to act now marvel fans everywhere need to make our collective voices heard immediately because let's face it the kool-aid man is already objectively cooler than hawkeye so he could absolutely be added as an avenger yesterday and how's this for some added nightmare fuel kool-aid man could just as easily emerge as marvel's most powerful super villain it all depends on his psyche i suppose and who knows where that could be headed given that he shares so many traits with one of the most powerful super villains in the marvel universe emma frost but that doesn't even matter because there's already plenty of evidence out there that the kool-aid man has himself a dark side obviously he's endangered children countless times over the years by bursting through load-bearing walls he also seems to have a weird uncontrollable mr hyde thing going on when he comes into contact with the element neon it's important for us to keep an eye on neon [Music] because in recent years he's repeatedly demonstrated his ability to contaminate water supplies on a massive scale drinks are on me come on folks this is dark consider the sea life beneath those jet skis my friends the kool-aid man is replacing the salt water those organisms need to survive with sugar water they say serial killers often dabble in animal cruelty before they go on a killing spree can't help but wonder if that's what we're witnessing here oh and let's not forget the time he straight up disappeared a girl in broad daylight again for the people in the back the kool-aid man just disappeared a girl like he's dr strange's creepy alter ego doctor stranger danger now was this a sinister act did he just send her to an awesome alternate dimension where kool-aid flows like mine frankly i don't care cause the fact of the matter is that he can disappear people and he doesn't bother to ask for their consent first and guess what the kool-aid man does the instant he commits his crime he shape-shifts and disguises himself like a baseball hat like how are the cops ever gonna catch this freak he can instantly disguise himself as anything plus it's always these cops who respond to the kool-aid related crimes mind if we look around i'm working on lemonade too so yeah if and when the kool-aid man breaks bad i don't think he's getting caught anytime soon and that should all give us pause so will we see kool-aid man in a marvel movie anytime soon only time will tell but one thing is for sure unless someone interferes the kool-aid man is on a trajectory to grow more powerful than any being in any universe yes even thanos sorry but that's how unencumbered growth works folks it is inevitable and once the kool-aid man becomes too powerful to stop he becomes too powerful for the mcu to ignore but hey that's just a theory a food theory i'm guessing a lot of you came over from the film theory channel because we pushed specifically to this episode from an episode over there so welcome thank you so much for checking out the new channel food theory i am working to build a community on this new channel that is every bit as passionate and amazing over here about food and science and love stupid episodes like this one as they do over on film theory so the most important way that you can support food theory today is by subscribing simple as that ring the notification bell if you feel like it but that is the single best thing that you can do for me right now to help this channel really thrive and grow and tell me that this is the sort of stuff that you like to see check out some of the other food theory episodes i promise not all of them are about cartoon beverage mascots some of them are actually about food so check them out thanks for being here thanks for subscribing and i'll see you all in the next video oh

Channel: The Food Theorists

Views: 3,103,981

Rating: 4.9362154 out of 5

Keywords: kool aid man, kool aid, kool-aid man, kool-aid, marvel, mcu, marvel phase 4, phase 4, marvel trailer, kool aid commercial, kool aid man oh yeah, kool aid man commercial, kool aid man meme, meme, thanos, thanos meme, xmen, x men, kool aid meme, rosanna pansino, nerdy nummies, food, dessert, food science, without a recipe, food myth, food myths, food theorists, food theory, game theory, game theorists, film theory, film theorists, matpat, matpat theory, matpat new channel

Id: CuZ14w_g3WA

Length: 16min 43sec (1003 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 23 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Down-spiral]

*MCU villain