Finding Your Ideal Soul Mate - Sheikh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi

spin ar-rahman rahim and I haven't le Lai Hina Naidu who when I stand on a stock photo who when I study when I talk I lay here up in a Suhana wa'ta'ala when I would be like him in show Rudy and fuz 'no one insane ti-ti Molina may I see La Follette another woman you little fella hey da da y shadow and la ilaha illa llah whoo whoo whoo laughs hello well I should do a number a midden abduhu wa rasuluhu sallallahu why he was selling body yeah even latina I mean wha haha gotchu kotti well had to move to net in LA and to Muslim hoon yeah you an acid Tucker Abu community holla takumin ups in wahid actin mahalik Amin has a job what Beth them in Houma bridge a link a theorem when he said I would talk lon never gonna be what are her in a logic Anna Anna come rock even ya ayyuha alladhina amanu taught allaha wa Kulu : say Dida usually lucuma Loco we are filled up on the new Baco women you take lana wa rasuluhu defesa falls and edema and Movado fender higher calamy Kalama la mujer who da do da rasoolillah salatullah wa salamu ala he mucho amor mortify to her vocal Amanda threatened baritone vocal a baton Balala to Vakula door an attempt in re an introduction of this presentation inshallah few points and I want to bring to your attention especially those of you who are diligent in trying to be to lobular those of you who I consider you some of my students actually and anyone else who considers himself to be a student of knowledge first thing we want to mention when we talk about an issue like this looking for your soul mate or your perfect soul mate this Darras is an advice to those of you who are not married especially from our youngsters people were trying to get married they're not married want to remind you first of all that until you get married in the Dean of a lot you're not a complete individual lahu Soprano allah's prophet sallallahu alayhi wa ala nadya will send them he informed us and we take everything that he said the way that he said it without explaining it away meant as oveja this stuck my line is for the no folia tequila the shuttle i anyone who has gotten married he has completed half of his Deen so let them fear allah and the other half so if you're not married you're not a complete individual and even if you are married you still may not be complete in certain aspects because you have to feel law we have to feel law in the other aspects of our being those of us who are married allahu taala mentioned another ayat of the Quran hata either Bulava I should do who rubella or Barinas Senna Carter abuser knee and ash for an aromatic Coletti and um Talia while owari there until the point where the person when he reaches full maturity he reaches full maturity and he reaches the age of forty four zero he calls out he makes a do and he says o my lord give me the success and the ability to thank you for the neverland that you bestowed upon me and the network that you bestowed upon my parents so that I a goes to show that individual he reaches full maturity at the age of 40 in the Dean of the lies which I'm usually speaking so we're always on a journey to grow and to develop and to reach our full potential if you're not married you are not a complete individual in the Deen of Allah so those of you who are not married from the Dean is to want to get married but not to get married to any individual but to get closest to the perfect person for you the ideal person for you the best person for you another issue in this regard that we have as we mentioned in the hospital hi Jen when we started off the ayat of the Quran working theorem I hear that established for us that Allah Allah created our Father Adam salawatullahi who said my name and he created for him a mate and that mate was a female so this is how Allah has created people on the fitara he created a man and he created the woman from from the man and he created that woman to be for the man this is the natural disposition how Allah Azza WA JAL has created us in pairs he mentioned in the Quran women kulli shayin alakina xoJane Lyla come to the Quran from everything we created everything in pairs everything in the hopes that you people will reflect you will understand that's an ayah from a large element when he commanded the first messenger the first Rasul and one of the five major Russell Noah he commanded him to get on the Safina or the ark that he I built allahu taala told him a man fear harming kalique so jameth name when you get on this boat nora and we're going to destroy these people make sure you take from all of the species a melon the female so the way that allahu taala is funda is study created the man and it created the woman for the man everything is created in pairs if you are an individual for whatever reason you won't do this life you believe and it's okay to stay unmarried and you're trying to get close to a lot with that then you want on other than the Sunnah of Rasul Allah he sallallahu alayhi wa ala aalihi wasallam you want other than his Sunnah and you cannot try to get close to Allah and make me bad in the table but--and at the cut rope getting close to a lot by not wanting to get married prophet told the people so Allah he was telling that he had the most taqwa he had the most Russia the fear of Allah and yet he got married anyone who forsakes my Sunnah he's not for me and it's now permissible when he want to come in to say but what about Sheikh had Islam implement a me and never got married what about Imam and no we never got married what about an imam or so you'll t rahim allahu taala those three illustrious Imams and other than me but never got married the answer to that is Allah didn't send them as the example for you they are not masculine mistake lists they are not the ones who allows upon automated their responsibility to relay the message the Quran was not revealed upon them that's the first thing second of all they had situations they had the roof circumstances that prevented them from getting married so don't bring us that as an example our example is an mustafa sallallahu alayhi wa sallim an octave and mahi solo la voie d who sent him and he was married multiple times and many of those reasons a well known why he did it so Allah what he said of the Shahid and the point is you're incomplete until you get married and everyone has a religious obligation to get married now we come to this issue of trying to find your soulmate or the perfect soul mate in reality Hawaii I want to bring this to your attention especially again the students from amongst you this concept of the soulmate is it from our Dean and this is something I really want you brothers and sisters to walk away with in this from this lecture today soulmate is it from our Dean I think it's imperative as Muslims we have a unique and distinct existence our lives have to be governed by the Book of Allah and not just clam but the ideas and the concepts that we have they have to be supported by the Quran the things that we say even if we don't mean them we have to make sure that what we say is not in contradiction to the Dean when you take a position for or against something or someone that position whatever it happens to be has to be governed by this religion it can't be something that it's just commonplace and as a result of that I'm in this society I'm in this place so therefore just let it go don't make a big deal about it that's part and parcel of what it is to be a Muslim that you are different and as a result of that that difference that we have it necessitates and it dictates that these statements that we see flying around many of them we take them for granted is it in accordance to our Deen so that's a question that I put to you is this issue of my soul mate is it something that's from the deep looking at the book of Allah looking at the authentic Sunnah of Rasul Allah he sallallahu suddenly we don't find this concept at all and I think the meaning that people imply by the soul mate even the brothers who came up with this title I think the meaning is trying to find the perfect person for you that individual doesn't exist the perfect person and we'll come to that in shot law but the your the word that was being used the soul mate the soul mate what is that for you students when we read the different books of Islam and when we give dowry Lala all of us we find ourselves in positions we're giving Dawa we have to be sure that the person who was talking to us on the other side of the table on the other side of the room when they ask us questions we have to be sure what are you talking about what do you mean by that that technical term soulmate or other than that what are you talking about what do you mean by that particular issue because if we're not on the same page there's confusion and we don't want to talk too much about that but it is an important issue when someone tells you for the students of knowledge were here that's the opinion of the two shakes of the champagne that's rotten you champagne what's meant by that the shame as a student of knowledge if you're not aware of what that author meant by the two shifts is he talking about Abu Bakr Umar is he talking about an imam bukhari an imam muslim if you don't know you'll get and you attribute the wrong thing to the wrong people and you get the wrong the information mixed up so this issue of the soulmate is an issue we have to ask ourselves is it from the Dean there is the statement of Allahu ta Ala that kind of comes close to this issue in surah 2 room Allah mention women yachty and her akela cumin and come as wagon latest coup new alaihe wa jalla Dina come what day tomorrow in the fanatical ayat in the Khomeini at the FATCA root from the ayat of Allah from his signs that prove his wisdom his knowledge his justice his 'san his hikmah his Rama from his ayat is that he has made for you people from your own selves wives he made for you men from your own selves wives so that you can test kunu either so that you can live with tranquility that you can have Sakina he made this institution of marriage for the purpose of you having tranquility not being married there is a level of it Turab where the person is not stable he doesn't have stability in his intellect in his soul in his self when he's not married he's sometime even in a prison as many of the brothers in this very Masjid have articulated between ourselves that the man feels that he is literally in prison in prison so law will tie dimension from his ayat is that he has created for men wives so that the man can get Sakina peace and tranquility and he has also put between you and your wives love and Rama mawatha and Rama and he did that in the hopes that you would Condon you would reflect you reflect over the fact that Allah serves the sugar that you were reflecting you'll ponder over how and why you should appreciate your wife because when you were not married prior to marrying her in this difficult situation and other than that so this ayat honey mentions that allahu taala has given mankind the men mates for Sakina but i don't understand that as being the soulmate even if she is the perfect person for him the best suited individual for him still she's not perfect as you're going to see but the ayat goes to show from the institution of marriage is getting a good wife a good husband so that the person can get this Sakina if they don't have this Sakina in their clashing arguing stress drama and static then the goal and the objective in regards to the institution of marriage as it relates to them is not being fulfilled if a person wants to find the best person who is suited for them the soulmate if you will and the first thing that we want to have eyes that we get from the kitab and the sunnah is that we have to be realistic you're looking for the best suited person for you you have to be realistic don't be an individual who is not realistic an individual who is unreasonable your soulmate that idea it comes from Hollywood and Bollywood comes from Nollywood for the Nigerians and the Africans that stuff is not real that is not real there is no single perfect individual here perfection is only for Allah the prophet sallallaahu Adi asylum is perfect as a human being and his perfection is relative when the Nabi of Allah Islam and a means of Allah body he was sending asada Dallas to LA when he had the camel race and his camel lost and the companions became sad that his camel was defeated the prophet didn't take his sallallahu either you sell him as an opportunity to manipulate the people he took it as an opportunity to glorify allah and to teach the community and it is connected to what we're talking about perfection he says allah loved one who sent him about his camel losing how cool a la la la orotava shaitan feed dunya in later ummah it is the right and allah it is hot on Allah that anything that rises up in this dunya anything that rises up in stature anything that goes up and the people look at it and say wow look at that thing anything that goes up it is hot going on a lot that he puts that thing down because nothing and no one is perfect in this dunya from what is created their perfection is relative as I mentioned rasool ullah sallallahu wasallam he rolls up and law Tata rose up his vicar what a fat like a thick wreck we raised you up in your vicar you're being remembered to mention all over at all times since you've been dead until the ohnoki I mean sha-la-la-la-la-la why do you send him but he died he died he didn't live forever so la la Hawaii was son he experienced pain he experienced fear and other than that the deficiency is that human beings have so perfection as a release of the nabila's relative sallallaahu seldom because the only perfect one in command is for Allah so we have to get this thing out of our heads the perfect individual there's no perfect husband and there's no perfect wife when I was coming to the Masjid a brother was bringing me to the message it I told mrs. what to talk about you have any ideas have any ideas he said yeah yeah we have to talk about this issue about you know what's real what's not real because I was talking to his sister and I was asking her questions and she said that what she was looking for was a share man who had knowledge he was a share he had a big beard a lot of muscles he had a lot of money everything a nice car he had his own house his own business he may have all of that but his feet stink and he has bad breath there are always going to be deficiencies that's serious I want you brothers and sisters to understand this serious and that's why the Nabi told us on the line he was selling this is important laia freaking amok Mina Mina and acharya min ha who lupa rhodium in ha-ah it is not acceptable it's not befitting it's not permissible for a believing man the husband to hate his wife your wife my wife the decent women it's not permissible for him to be unappreciative and to hate her if he sees in her a characteristic that he doesn't like then look for something that he does like you brothers were not married your sisters were not married those of you who were newly married every single person here without any exception the man seized from his wife when he doesn't like and she sees from her husband what he did what she doesn't like if you focus on the negative aspects of your wife you won't stay married you won't be happy that's everybody here if I'm very critical about my wife I need to look at myself because whatever I find in her I have also issues you have issues so his wife may not be able to cook but she's very obedient his wife may be a bit overweight or underweight she's not the most beautiful person in the world but she's helping him to take care of his mother and on and on and on the husband may be a little bit on the lazy side but he's generous and he's easygoing and he's full bearing so the point here is if you're looking for the perfect individual the perfect soul mate then that is as I mentioned in Hollywood that stuff is what fairytales are made out of so the Prophet told us and another hadith cellulite sullen but it's applicable here he said in this small version of the hadith this aspect Sidhu Vicari boo said D do Akari boo when you aim and you do target practice try to come as close to the target as possible you want to meet someone you're going to meet someone and then your potential husband or wife try to make sure that they click as many boxes as possible as for them click in all of the boxes and that's something that is eysies that's something that's almost mr. Hill and if they do click all of the boxes you have to take it easy and slow down someone answers all of the questions right you're hearing all of the correct answers everything is perfect don't take that as an example which brings us to the next point is Shaolin the next point is looking for the most suitable person for you your soul mate you have to exercise patience you have to exercise a lot of patience and in this regard I remind you of the statement of primordial oh I know when he was the halifa famous statement and understand that this is the statement of guerrilla but some people think the Prophet said it and they mention it as a hadith the Prophet didn't say it sallallahu alayhi wa ala ali was seldom the man said to her Maya amirul mumineen you know that man over there he's a truth man yes Sitapur he's a truthful man that guy is a good guy he's good to get married - he's good - put him in your employment he's good to entrust him he's good I'm out of the alignment with the hikmah that was given to him low cannon abhi and body that kinda remote if there was going to be an Emmy after me would have been this man enough evidence of thought and Faruk brother-in-law I'm a tax that man who praised him he said to him did you have by chance the opportunity to travel with that man he said no I never traveled with him he said did you get an opportunity to do any business with him and to work up close with him in his private and open affairs you made any more Mila with him he said no I never did that I mean I never did that he said did you ever and trust him with something to see whether or not he took care of the Amana he said no I never did that he said then why lie he you don't really know that man it may be that you saw that man bowing down and raising up his head in the Masjid maybe that's your case you saw him in the message which is a good thing wasn't a message it he had a beard out of hope he gave salams he said all of the right slogans in the phrases and in what was apparent it was okay he was in a message it you saw him vowing down and raising his head in the Masjid that doesn't qualify you as a person who knows that individual so if you're looking for the soul mate or the most suitable person for you take your time in making a decision to marry him or her or not to marry him or with time with time everyone's reality it becomes apparent everyone but when you're Russian when you're Russian you look at him and he's bowing and he's rising she has perfect Jill babban hijab you don't know that person a prophet saw one of his campaigns Shalala while he was Sullivan the nabi himself studied the man and he studied the men and he studied the men and then after studying the man for an extended period of time the man came and he told him in the Victor hustle attainder boom ah la la well and that you you have two characteristics that a lot loves one characteristic is that you're easygoing your hélène your gentle kind with the people and the other characteristic is you're not in haste you don't make decisions hastily and this decision of getting married is a life-altering decision so we say to the family of the girl take your time they say the family of the boy take your time he jabbed jilbab the beard the foe being in the message it being a share all of those issues are nice all of those issues are nice take your time try to get to know that individual to the best of your ability maybe you can't travel with them maybe you can maybe your brother can travel with them let them go to Hajj and Umrah with your dad when the person who travels why did I mention that when you travel the reality of who you are it comes out when you travel if you're a person of suburb better come out if you're self-centered that I come out if you respect people that I come out all of those issues will come out you entrust them with something you're about to entrust them with your daughter with your sister if you can't entrust him with something simple then why take a chance to entrust the individual with something that you see as being a feast something that is expensive and important and the bitola sort of love why he will sell him or what is mentioned in a hadith yahkum Mahara at demin peter Yarrow salawa maha da dum in Kalmar a to alice na demon but as sue this hadith is not authentic so I don't say that the Prophet said it but the meaning of it is true it is a famous statement but the nebby didn't say it it is dari Juden Juden very dive but it's true he said or the hadith said beware of the fedora demon they said what is that the hadith said that they said what is that he said that he said salah salem is the beautiful woman the beautiful woman who was cultivated in a bad environment like the green flower the green flower the vegetable and the vegetation you can take the manure the manure the defecation of animals and you can use it as fertilizers fertilizer it helps the vegetation to grow but the the manure is stinks no one likes it but yet something good comes out of it the beautiful flower the vegetation comes out of it so the lady she may be beautiful she may be beautiful but the environment that she came from is a terrible environment so you're going to marry her based upon her looks you're going to invite you marry her based upon some things you heard here at there that were good about her and you didn't get the full story in the full picture and then you're going to find yourself in a serious issue that's not a hadith of than the beasts on a solemn what the meaning is true we come to the next issue and looking for your most suitable mate your soulmate I have to look for the person who is compatible with you and I say this to reverts sisters especially reverts sisters you have to be careful the sisters who are in Islam and brothers were in Islam when the reverts come to this religion we have to calm down with them we have to calm down we can't overwhelm them with issues you have to hurry up and go get a circumcision you have to say the Shahada in Arabic you have to move out of your parents house they have a dog in the house in pictures you have to get rid of the pitches and they just overwhelm with Haram Haram Haram Haram per says I didn't come to a slab to find everything in my life her on some things I'll accept as being Haram but everything I'm overwhelmed we have to look for the individual who was compatible I know of situations where these sisters tell the reverse sister you have to get married is half of your Deen you have to get married as half your Deen she says okay the first brother he comes and he is challenged I don't want to say he's a I don't want to see he's a that's politically incorrect to say a a dwarf he's horizontally challenged he's short he's really sure he comes up to a waist and he comes to meet up and she knows she's not impressed with that individual size doesn't impress her the sisters say you must love him for Allah you must love him for Allah she doesn't know she has a clause she said okay I'm gonna love him for Allah and she can't live with the individual and he can't live with her compatibility from the best of the companions is Zaid ibn Haritha ruddy Allah I know and our mothers ain't have been to Josh Zana been to Josh was a lady of Koresh she married Zaid who was a mola a free slave used to be the slave of Khadija Khadija gave him to the Prophet as a gift sallallahu alayhi wasalam the nabi loved him so much that he freedom and made him his adopted son and then the religion came and said you can't do that but he was very close to the Nabi Saleh loved wali Allah Ari was something like his son and the son of Zeta mu sama even news aide was like Hassan and Hussain were to the nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam when Zeynep was married to Zaid it didn't work the reason why I didn't work was not because Z wasn't a hard worker J was lazy he wouldn't get out of the bed he was violent and aggressive he didn't listen no none of those reasons were the reasons why it didn't work it didn't work because the lady was from Croatia and the lady saw herself as being a lady of high nobility not Kippur not Kippur I'm better than him but her status her status the man he gets a degree a bachelor's degree master's degree PhD in this society his parents put pressure on him to marry a lady from back in the country that lady is going to bring to the table some benefits but he can't communicate with her he cannot talk about anything about the Dean with her no current events no worldly events the only thing that they had between them is she's a good cook and they just share the same sprays space no compatibility at all so those two companions running alone and Huma they wound up getting a divorce and then abhi Mary zina sallallahu alayhe wa Senna and for your information the Prophet of Islam some allowance of them never ever ever married any woman except she was high mobility high mobility all of them were high nobility that doesn't mean it's Haram and is not permissible to marry someone who is not of high nobility you can marry someone who comes from an uneducated family and she can make you the happiest man in the world that's possible it's not how long but the nabi himself sallallaahu son didn't do that abu bakr he asked for the hand of fatima in marriage the Prophet said no you're too old I'm a daddy alone who asked for the hand of Fatima in marriage the Navy said no you're too old and there were two best people of this woman they are better than our even a vitaly they are the two best people of this woman no one's better than them other than the MBA and they have Dean and topwe but the Prophet didn't marry them to them to marry her to them because he said you're too old and then he wound up marrying fatima az-zahra to Ali bin Abi Talib because they were close in age they were close in this position they were close in the Iturbi and so forth and so on that's a Delisle of this issue of ELCA compatibility you had to find someone who was compatible Allah His Prophet mention in the authentic hadith sahih bukhari muslim father son Livadia salaam el agua junudu mujin Agha Matara Femina a telephone LaMontagne economy nice telephone the soles of the people are like soldiers conscripted soldiers soldiers that are in the army and they've been trained how to March how to move if we were to get in line and there was a sergeant from the Army here and he told us get in line I'm going to teach you guys how to March for the first few days is going to be confusion because we don't know what we're doing when I haven't been trained for that some people will catch on quicker than others is going to be confusion but after a month two months three months there's going to be unison between us unity precision he said that the souls are like that they're like trained soldiers trained soldiers they move at the same time and everything he said there are those souls that when they met they came together and they had an affinity from one another and they meshed and harmonized and there are other souls when they come together they clashed the scholar said this has multiple meanings one of the meanings is that the souls are naturally gravitating towards one another naturally after your Allah asked Ali ha ha birds of a feather flock together naturally that's one of the meanings Muslims are going to be Muslims and non-muslims are going to be with non-muslims people of the sunnah are going to be with the people of the sunnah people of bid are going to be with people of bid on people who love knowledge and they're about knowledge going to be with people who are about knowledge they love knowledge they give it a place ignorant people want to be with ignorant people that's just natural Allah what Allah mentioned in the Quran Allah be fat or heavy theme one hobby through little hobby that what play be back to lady beam what play we gonna look like a bat the men who were hadith the women were hadith no-good dirty nasty filthy those women there for the men who were like that and the men were like that or for women were like that natural and the women who are quite me back pure good they're going to look for the manual like that and the men are going to look for them will like that that's an island of Quran that goes show us people naturally going to gravitate towards what they're comfortable with and compatible with second meaning of the hadith second meaning of the hadith that the souls are like trained soldiers is that when allah wa tada created the souls they had two conditions one condition was the souls were created before their bodies were created and the law took from Adam out of his loins all of his children and he placed them at Mount Arafat and caused them to bear witness to like eating a lot before they were even created as Souls when those souls were created naturally some of them came together and it's no problem and others didn't come together at that time now when those souls are put in their second condition in their bodies in their bodies they come together and there are those people who they get along with just as they got along with as Souls before and some people they don't get along with as they didn't get along with their souls before they were in their bodies whatever the case may be if a person wants to get married and wants to be happy he has to look for compatibility and the parents I say you also have to buy into this you have to buy into this if your child doesn't have much in common with the cousin back where they come from don't put pressure on them and force them to get married to that individual it's going to end in divorce going to be an unhappy marriage another issue and I emphasize this tool these days innovation you can't marry people who are innovators Muslims can't marry non-muslims what a tool commercially Katarina you men don't marry mushrik women until they believe and you women don't marry we should men it's not permissible the believers are only out one to another naturally I got to marry someone who's doing can go for a six and Hindus even with Christianity and Judaism you can marry them but you got to deal with those issues of Christmas and Easter and other than that tried to look for the Muslim girl but the emphasis here is you have to marry your sister to a man from the Sunnah and he ma'am Ahmed and other than Imam Ahmed I used to say that it was impermissible for a man to marry his daughter his sister to a row feeding a person who curses the Companions you have someone from your family they have it to show your they Shiite you care marry your sister to them you're going to have children who grow up cursing Abu Bakr mark you has something to do with it if it happens so this is an issue that has everything to do with compatibility compatibility and imam ahmed ii said in a narration do not marry your sisters or your daughters to a man who does not see our even ABI talib as the 4th khalifa don't attend their weddings and don't talk to them so the point here is the issue is about compatibility you have to look for someone who you're compatible to next point honey is the famous hadith and that is look for someone who we want to marry I have to look for those qualities in them that indicate that they're good people those qualities that they're practicing the Deen that they're practicing the religion of Allah each other the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that the woman she gets married for 4 reasons there are 4 reasons why men marry women and all of them are permissible a man may marry a woman solely because she's a beautiful woman she's very attractive and that's permissible he has this thing about liking nice clothes a nice car and he has that thing and he wants a nice-looking woman he can marry him for that issue another man he marries a woman because she has money she may be a bit older than him but she has money so he marries her another man gets married because of the nessip he gets married because of her lineage and this is an indication I want to tell you young brothers your parents are not totally absolutely wrong when they want you to marry someone from your country someone from your tribe they're not totally wrong that's not absolutely wrong that shouldn't be the main issue but if your mother and your father want you to marry someone from your tribe don't give them a hard time tell them find someone that I like and if they don't find someone that you know that you like they don't find someone that you don't like then you express that but don't be totally absolutely closed off to the idea marry someone from when you come from give it a shot tell them to find them let me look into it because some of the youngsters there's extremes from the parents extremes from the youngsters there are those parents who force you to marry them and that's not a that's not okay and then there the youngsters who think this is against the Dean they should be allowed their full open choice you should be allowed your choice but that suggestion for you from your parents if it's going to make them happy entertain the suggestion if they bring someone marry someone from Somalia from Pakistan from your tribe marry your cousin give it a chance look at it consider it if it's possible they make it happen the woman can get married for her lineage she's Sharif or seed her parents say - I only want you to marry a seed okay no problem find me at this idiot I'll marry him but making me marry this idiot that doesn't pray does in practice is something that the parents shouldn't do shouldn't do so it is permissible to get married to an individual because of their lineage she wants to marry someone who was a revert he wants to marry someone who's a revert the parents are not happy with that they're not necessarily racist they're just not happy they're not happy I would advise the youngster take your time trying to kill two birds with one stone kill the one bird of making your parents happy making your parents happy and the other bird kill it and that is the bird of get married don't insist on marrying someone who your power are not pleased with especially when there are so many options out there from the people they're looking at for you so the Prophet told us about this issue honey issue of these characteristics at dunya Matata well Hiram Mata well hi Roma Tarija and Mara - Fatiha the dunya is provisions and the best provision is to get a righteous wife he said in that hadith that the woman is also married because of her Dean marry the one for the Dean and you'll be successful because whether she's beautiful whether she has money and she doesn't have money whether you have money or you don't have money whether she comes from good lineage or not whether she's from your tribe or not is irrelevant she's going to look at everything connected to you and her in this dunya from the prism of the Deen and that's what we're looking for marry the one with the deem you'll be successful the one who's going to judge everything her positions for and against what she understands what she likes what she doesn't like it's going to be determined by the Dean not by the popular opinion not by what people think not by emotions it's going to be about the Dean so she doesn't care necessarily whether you're rich not rich he doesn't care about that as well so the issue was about the Dean so this dunya is a bunch of provisions and the best provision is the righteous wife then we come to that hadith the famous hadith the jakkuman Torah Doudna Dino who who Lupo for Zoe Juhu when in light of a low token fitna Tunes an auto or facade re if someone comes to you and you are satisfied with their religion and they allow their behavior the Prophet said marry them irregardless of how much money he has or he doesn't have a regardless of what tribe it comes from the regardless is he reverted not a revert if someone comes to you seeking marriage then if you're happy and pleased with this deen and is a lock the Mariam if you don't do it mother and father if you don't marry them there's going to be fitna in the earth and there's going to be facade in the earth and you helped to create it the girl is going to run off she's going to elope and other than that may happen and you were responsible for it because you did not cooperate with the situation so in regards according to us trying to choose the perfect mate there is no perfect mate come close to the target as possible and know that everyone has shortcomings and everyone has good qualities so try to get an individual who checks as many as the boxes that you put for yourself in terms of the ideal mate for you the one who checks the majority of them it makes you feel like this and it gives the right answers and so forth on best when you try to marry comes from a good family has the ability to take care of you he's practicing the Deen he's gentle he's easygoing his balance he's on the Sunnah he looks nice all of those issues that holds true for the men and that holds true for the women this is my presentation honey concerning this issue of the next few lectures that we're going to give you shall on next week someone is going to give a talk about advice for the men in regards to our wives and wanted to get married and then after that in the third week the talk is going to be addressing specifically the women advice to the women and the fourth week I don't know what that particular talk is about so we ask Allah subhana WA Ta'ala to make us successful in our marriages to complete the shortcomings that all of us have in our marriages and to make us people were happy with one another then he makes our children as well the coolers of our eyes that Allah who tada helps those of us who are not married to find those people were the best suited people for us to make us happy people in the dunya and people of felicity and reward yomo tiana so if your brothers have any questions you Charlotte you can put your questions forward the question is that the father married the sister off the father didn't know that the man was a Shiite now what can we do about that issue what can we about it and that is speaking at the heart of what I mentioned earlier today that I'm going to marry my daughter off I don't want that to slip under the radar as the Willie that's my responsibility to find something out like that there are certain issues that they're they're difficult to find out certain issues are difficult but as I told you brothers and sisters if you take your time and you're not in a rush summer is going to time is going to be it may not reveal everyone's reality even if they're trying to camouflage themselves even if they're trying to conceal things take your time take your time so in this case if they were already married they'd already married I would say it depends on the level of the person's are to share your it would depend on the level of the person's to share your being a she I depends on do they have any children it depends on how does the sister the girl how does she feel about him in the situation all of those factors have to be considered all of them have to be considered I would suggest and advise and Allah knows best if the brothers and the father they have some power over the girl have power over them her she listens to them and that guy the husband is Shiite respects them as well then they use that as a bargaining chip if you don't change this thing that your arm we're going to take our sister away because you received her and we didn't know about it maybe he concealed it maybe he didn't consider we just didn't ask about it but if he are the brothers father minute power well use that as a bargaining chip to die that man to the Sunnah but it's going to depend on all of those factors do they have children what kind of Shia is he how does the sister feel about him what kind of person is he all of those issues they have to be considered and they have to be weighed it's not an easy case allahu taala guy him and us to the sunnah and loving the companion the prophets of solemn and making them our example one of the things that happens commonly amongst us in our community is what the brother mentions and that is two people want to get married and one of them have been married before in this case the girl was married before and she has a child the girl likes the boy the boy likes the girl but the parents are not happy with the fact that the girl has a child what would I advise I would advise with what the Prophet advised sallallaahu are you silent when the man came to the Nabi Saleh Wadi well I didn't sell him and told him he had gotten married job even I did not he said did you marry a virgin girl a girl who never been married before he said no I married the lady who's been married before he's a challah to the Washita bickerin hata Tulare Baja what Tulare buck why didn't you marry a virgin girl so that you can play with her and she can play with you you can get to know each other you didn't know anyone she didn't know anyone before you so the Prophet encouraged that so what your parent is saying in this case has its basis that lady who has a baby doesn't mean she's a bad girl but she has a luggage she has a briefcase with her she has a suitcase with her that doesn't mean she's bad all the babies back but their issues the ex-husbands family the ex-husband how is he going to bring up that child more responsibility those are real issues our mother Aisha said to the Nabi Saleh law while he was selling if you had yato so Allah a choice of allowing your animals to graze in the pasture the green grass that no other animal touched or a pasture with other animals ate from it and there were patches and places wait which one would you choose he said I chose the one that the animals didn't eat from and he understood what she meant she made herself she was a virgin girl no one had ever touched her other than him some of La Guardia who Salim or of the Aloha I'm not well Allah so this is something when the parent says that it has his basis and it has its merit so it's not the responsibility of the son or the daughter the one who wants to marry this one who have been married before and so it is up to you to try to convince your parent why but don't just close your ears and your heart to what they're saying don't close your ears and heart to what they're saying they're looking at the issue in that way because the reality of the case is it's more responsibility it's more complicated but it doesn't mean that the girl is a bad girl doesn't mean like her child is a bad child doesn't mean doesn't mean that if they get married they can never be successful but the parent along with the kid they have to discuss the whole issue put the cards out on the table and making an intelligent decision

Channel: Green Lane Masjid

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Keywords: conference, death, fawzan, arifi, asrar, rashid, murtaza, khan, alkauthar, mercy, mission, islamic, basyouni, qadhi, hamza, yusuf, khutbah, iera, dawah, nasheed, sunnah, bidah, green, lane, masjid, mosque, salafi, publications, refutation, freemasons, dajjal, abu, khadeejah, salafis, quran, hadeeth, red, brick, media, bakr, umar, sufi, barelwi, zakir, naik, peace, makkah, madinah, live, sudais, huda, emotional, lecture, deobandi, al-maghrib, almaghrib, jihad, dispatches, debate, shia, shiah, sufism, hanafi, saudi, scholars, tawassul, islam, paradise, hell

Id: lFQEa50MCDo

Length: 51min 2sec (3062 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 06 2013