Finding Hope | Testimony of Judith Halim

[Music] hello everyone my name is judith haleem but maybe we can pray before we start thank you god thank you jesus for such a time like this that we can come before you to honor you we want to leave your name on high so that you can draw all men unto yourself alone and we want to surrender the rest of the sharing into your loving hand may your holy spirit come and feel your people touch your people and also bring healing to your people and in jesus name all god's people say amen okay i came from bamadan north sumatra where lake toba is any one of you been to lake toba medan okay yeah i i i grew up in a very poor family my father was a gambler womanizer and often beaten up my mother at the age of 18 months my father abandoned me and left us and nowhere above that we can find him so i grew up very bitter very a lack of love there is no hope because we are living in poverty at the age of 21 i met a singaporean man who do business in indonesia and at the moment when he looked at me he said i fall in love with you and i want to marry you i was looking for a hope at that point of time i was looking for love i was looking for a redeemer someone that can redeem me out of my situation and out of my poverty and there i got this offer and he said i will bring you to singapore surely your life will be restored everything will be good for you economy future everything will be good so at that point i was like this 21 years old you know a village girl never been on an aeroplane before never go to oversea so uh guess what i say come on you also very fast yeah so i said yes and i uh you know i got married a short after that six months after i got married i got pregnant and we were living in jakarta and he said that uh you know when the baby is uh when my pregnancy is reached eight months old you have to go to singapore give birth in singapore so that your baby can become singaporean 21 years old eight month pregnancy i packed my bag and i came to singapore and little did i know that it was my one-way ticket you know the song one-way ticket okay those who are not my generation doesn't know [Music] one way to get to the moon you go and you don't get to come back okay i came to singapore gave birth to my uh baby girl in the hospital and the second day after my baby was delivered the doctors say that they discovered a few complications and on the fifth day they concluded your baby has got three complications the first one was she had three holes in her heart the second one the right tentacle is very thick preventing the blood and the energy to circulate to go to the upper part of the body and because of that she has brain damage and the third thing is she is a down syndrome i couldn't take it i was only like 21 years old uh coming to 22 at that point of time and i was saying this if there is god i want to know why life is so unfair for me as a child what i want is a complete family means this father that's mother and i was deprived of deprived of it and as a mother what we want is only a healthy child right and yet i was deprived of it the doctor said that your baby cannot live past three months and therefore she cannot be discharged and i cannot go back to indonesia i continue to stay in singapore doctors say that your baby cannot live past three months surely she will die [Music] but bad thing does not stop there her father when she was one month old her father came to the hospital and looked at the both of us and when he looked at us this is what he said to me he said i think we are not men for each other i said what do you mean that we are not meant for each other we got married and then we got a child and the child is sick and the doctors say that she will not live past three months and this is what he said i just don't love you anymore to me was like what is love actually he did not say much he left us the next day and i was alone in singapore in a foreign country in a foreign land that i know not of the language i know not of the people i have no money i have no relatives i have no friend and what i have is only a sick child 26 years ago i don't speak english all i speak is bahasa indonesia and hokkien so quietly i left my baby in the hospital quietly i booked a ticket to go back to indonesia jakarta where our house is to just check out what's going on quietly i stepped into my house quietly i stepped into my bedroom and i saw there's another woman sleeping on my bed using my helper using my driver and this heart breaks immediately i stopped a cab and i went back to a sukarnojata airport to rebook my etiquette because my daughter was still in the hospital i sat on the bench of the airport while waiting for my next flight and i cried and i cried and i cried and i said this if there is god you need to come and meet me halfway because even to take the next breath is painful right here the pain of betrayal the pain of being dumb over and over again as if you're a piece of trash first is your father abandoned you and now your husband abandoned you i was crying at that bench when i was crying i saw a woman passing by she was wearing a cross like what i'm wearing today and my eyes captured that cross and i remember when i was little my kindergarten teacher ever said this to me for whoever that call upon the name of jesus will be safe so i call upon the name of jesus i say jesus if you are a true living god come and help me because i don't think i can make it another day i came back to singapore all hope is gone all my dream crashed i checked my daughter out from the hospital because there's no more money and i only have one solution and the solution is i want to carry my daughter and i wanted to jump down i was living in this 14th floor or flat i plan to jump down 14th floor jumping down 14th floor die or not will die right sure yeah but jesus plans and jesus way is higher than my ways and my plan amen i wrote a letter to my mother to say that i'm sorry i cannot send money back anymore life is just too painful for me i'm gonna end it i plan that i want to go out to orchard road for the very last time so that the next day i just want to carry my daughter and i wanted to jump down from 14th floor around that was around 12 o'clock where i wrote a letter around 2 o'clock i received a phone call from insurance agent any insurance agent here what about at the roof what about resume okay and uh youtube i really thank god for insurance agent insurance engineer called me and he said that i hear from so and so that you know you just have a baby and if you buy insurance policy from me right now the price is worth it okay so i spoke with with him in uh you know in a hopkin and i said no i'm not gonna buy okay i don't have money to buy and i want to put down the phone and before i put down the phone from the other side he said hold it tonight my church got a special speaker can i invite you to come to my church i was thinking this julie is a madman right i mean want to sell me insurance i say no then he wanted to invite me to church right so uh on the other hand i re i wanted to go to orchard road for the last time and i'm not familiar with singapore and it's very troublesome to bring baby to bring diapers and all that so i said that if you can bring me the orchard road i will go with you to you know if you can bring me to orchard i'll go with you to a church he must be thinking that this is a mad woman that i'm talking to you know yeah so uh but guess what he said he said that my church is right off orchard road i will come and get you and then he and his wife came and get me and put me in this uh uh a church just right off orchard road it was a big church and you know what it's english service you remember i don't i don't understand english right i don't speak english it's my first time in my entire life that i have ever stepped into a place that is called church and it's english service yeah so i don't really know what they are doing they were like a singing like what we did earlier i couldn't understand a single thing and then they were like the pastor was like preaching i also did not understand a single thing and this couple that brought me to church they were so busy okay so they put me right at the back the third row from the back and he said i'll come and get you at the end of the service and then disappear yeah so left me and my baby i was like you know when is this going to end it is very painful right here at the end of the service the pastor invited people to come forward to get prayer obviously i didn't even know what they are doing but from the stage he said that woman that woman with the baby i want you to come forward i didn't even know that he's calling me but suddenly ashes came from the left and from the right you know asus is the most hardworking person in the church okay asa came from the left and right right and pushed me i said go go go go he's calling you you know yeah i came up on the stage and he and this pastor asked me do you want to receive jesus christ as your personal lord and savior they will translate to me in hokkien and i say who is this jesus i do not know who is this jesus but suddenly i saw the whole auditorium was red in color radar red and suddenly i sense a peace that transcends beyond understanding the peace that 22 years living eating walking on earth i never knew this kind of peace as this and i said to him i don't know who is this jesus but if jesus that you're talking about is equivalent to this peace that i am experiencing i must have it i cannot live without it i received jesus christ as my personal lord and savior at that point of time and i cried and cried and cried and cried i cried and i've forgotten i want to go to orchard road huh suddenly this couple come okay i said come and bring me home they brought me home that was the very first night that i'm able to sleep very suddenly i had depression major depression i can don't sleep for five days i can don't eat for five days but that night i'm able to sleep and the next day as i got up i was searching i was looking where is that pain where is the excruciating pain right here in my heart that caused me to even cannot breathe it is gone just like that it is gone i pick up a letter that i wrote to my mother to say that i wanted to kill myself and i look at it and this time around i said to myself i am not going to die i am going to live for people who appreciate me i am going to live for my daughter and more so i am going to live for this jesus that i just got to know a night before because he can man my broken heart amen i took the courage i called my mother from uh to cut to invite her to come to singapore to take care of my daughter so that i can start my life all over again i can go to work to cut the story short looking for a job for a foreigner like me back 25 20 25 years ago that i'm unable to speak english don't have much education is really really tough i knocked on aldo i tried mcdonald i was rejected i tried kentucky fried chicken i got rejected also okay you want to know what was my first job in singapore 25 years ago i was a security guard in fn coca-cola do i look like security guard maybe back then i really look like one okay because uh i i mean as they look at my cv what i am best is my bahasa indonesia so they say okay you know you can speak to your colleague yeah so i was very poor my uh salary is 2.70 per hour after the deduction from the agent i cannot make ends mean how poor i am i can only eat one meal a day okay if i buy a packet of rice yeah i have to split it half for lunch another half a dinner if i buy a packet of a bread a loaf of bread i have to cut i will eat the skin so that my daughter got to eat the white part that was how poor i was but our god is a promise keeping god he gave me a verse in joel 2 25 and 26 joel 2 25 and 26 the bible say i will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten of you you will eat in plenty and praise the name of the lord your god who has done wondrous work in you and this is what he said for my people will never be put to shame romans 10 11 those who believe believe means adhesive relies on and trust in those who believe will never be put to shame those who believe will never be disappointed i hold on to this the word the word of god because i know people will fail us man will fail us but jesus and his true living god never fail us amen to cut the story short my supervisor look at me what are you doing here you know you're still very young can i send you to english course after that you come back you can become receptionist one or not one or not one okay so i went for english course i came back i became receptionist okay and then my manager look at me again what about i sign it for further course then you come back you can do other things i say okay send me for further course i came back i became administrator okay yeah so uh then the company look at me again say whatever i send you for further course then you come back you can do other things why not one on one okay i went for further course i came back i become a manager then the company said what about i sent you for further course again you won one okay send me for further course again i came back i became a general manager okay and then company said again what about i signed it for further course again what are not one i went to another course again i came back i became a managing director within a spam of 10 years oh glory to god and uh after that i became a entrepreneur i became a business woman but i'm not a normal business woman i'm a business woman that have passionate about the things of god so uh i would take uh a uh a portion of my profit uh to feed the poor the needy the orphans and the widow later i'll share with you so um and i'm also a din pastor yeah together with my husband so uh well my finance is restored according to god's promise amen hallelujah what about my daughter uh the doctor say that surely he will never she will never leave past three months she'll leave past three months the doctors say that surely she will never leave past one year she'll leave past one year and then the doctor say that at the age of two she need to go for surgery okay and asked me to prepare one hundred thousand at that point of time i don't have one hundred thousand sing dollar but i have a big god and one of his name is jehovah rafa the lord that can heal so i prayed and i prayed and i prayed i stopped seeing doctor i'm not saying that if you sick you don't see doctor okay because god can choose to heal through doctor but given my situation and my circumstances i cannot afford to see doctor that's where i stop okay so um [Music] my daughter through prayer and prayer and prayer she got better and better and better and at the age of six god said why not you bring her back with the same cardiologist and do a check and see what happened i brought her back to the same cardiologist and they do the ecg and they printed out the report they put the two reports side by side the old report and the new report he said that you look this is the old report the heart is failing there's three holes he said you look at this new report this is totally a perfect heart [Applause] and the doctor keeps saying this is impossible why because from the medical point of view from withhold to be to become without hold they can trace back the recovery process but in your daughter case the doctor said that they cannot trace back okay and when they put the two reports side by side these two is not connected to each other and see if there is a hand that remove the bad one and put in the new heart so this is totally a complete perfect heart who can perform such a miracle if not the lord our god jehovah rafa a man so my daughter is healed from the heart condition and my daughter today is 26 years old [Applause] and then when my daughter was 7 years old i also uh got married uh again in a church with pastor jason ong he is now sharing in uh speaking in liver leaving a sanctuary a brandon church yeah that's why he cannot be here with us okay so um friends when miracle happened what do you say praise the lord hallelujah right from a security guard to be you know to managing director to entrepreneur to businesswoman what do you say praise the lord and then when your baby is sick and nearly died you know with treeholes in the heart and miraculously heal what do you say praise the lord and then my life was restored exactly according to the promise of god in joel 2 25 26 and what do you say praise the lord hallelujah amen my question is this what if things are not happening according to what you wish what if your loved one is stricken with cancer what if you have to face bankruptcy what if you lose your job what if you lose a loved one can you still say praise the lord can you still say hallelujah two years after i got married my husband always giddy and vomiting we went to see a doctor the doctor say your husband got a brain cancer [Music] and his condition is the first case founded in the whole of singapore is called endolymphatic sex tumor in the whole of us there are not more than 50 cases founded in the whole world there are not more than 200 cases founded and because it is so little number of people getting this kind of a cancer there's no drugs there's no therapy nothing that they can do in singapore two surgeon two professor came together one from nni one from ent and they do not know what to do they have to invite two professor from john hopkins four professors came to singapore and they studied the case and this case became very famous it was posted on the medical journal and the title goes like this number one case founded in singapore endo lymphatic sex tumor patient named jason and my husband become famous because of that we already serving god at that point of time and we asked god why is this happening to us you want to know what god say do you want to know or not he gave us romans 8 28 he said all things will work together for good for those who love god and for those who have been caught according to his purpose i was like good what good can come out of such a severe cancer the doctor said there's no drugs for you there's no treatment for you there's no radiotherapy there's no chemotherapy the only thing that we can try is surgery even for surgery the first surgery took 20 hours if you touch at the back of your ears it's hard right that's bone right before they need to before they perform the surgery they have to re cut off the bone they have to saw away the bone and then they went in after 20 hours of surgery the doctor told me this i'm sorry we are too late i said what do you mean that we are too late he said that the cancer is so aggressive it has destroyed the balanced nerve it has destroyed the hearing drum it has destroyed the hearing nerve so everything that is within here that has been destroyed they have already removed and the cancer is so aggressive it has spread and 30 percent has already stuck on the main artery the main artery they cannot do anything because if they are not careful they touch when the main artery bursts he will become affected you know that he he will not be able to make it so the doctor said this to me you only have six months your husband only have six months to live and how he's going to die this is how he's going to die the cancer will continue to bite the main artery and the main artery will burst and he will suddenly collapse from the eyes from the nose from the mouth and from the ears will come out blood this was our reality friends can i have the key bodies too yeah this was our reality my husband was still in icu at that point of time [Music] and i told him husband husband doctor say that you're going to die within six months the doctor said go ahead and settle your affair because uh yeah six months maximum i asked my husband how doctors say you're gonna die in six months you want to know what is my husband answer do you want to know or not this is what he he said to me he said [Music] i don't care what the doctors say as long as i breathe as long as i live i'm gonna make every day count for jesus if i've ever get out from this hospital still able to function don't waste your time anymore let us go all out to serve god even more let us go all out save the poor the needy the orphans and the widow in a third world country because i don't have any more time to waste i said okay true enough he can get up he can still function as per normal except he cannot hear anymore and he cannot walk straight and there are many things that he cannot do so we go all out maybe it can show can can can show us like that yeah we go to pakistan we go to myanmar we go to cambodia we go to philippines we go to indonesia malaysia china and we started our ministry with 30 children and the ministry grew from 30 children to 300 children from 300 children it grew to 600 children and six months later he did not die but the cancer also grew the ministry grow the cancer also continued to grow he said come on let's go even more i don't have time to waste any more we need to be more aggressive just one more for jesus just one more so the ministry grow again from 600 children it grew to 900 children from 900 children it grew to 1 200 children and he never died but the cancer also continued to grow from 30 percent it grew to the size of a golf ball from a size of golf ball it grew to a size of an egg inside the head you know friend cancer is real cancer is very painful we go to a place uh where the dumping site is maybe we can show the those picture in this kind of places that we go there's no doctor in our pocket there's always painkiller we started using panadol extra strong [Music] two four six eight it doesn't work anymore what do you do you change to ponstan 2 4 6 8 it doesn't work anymore what do you do you change to akoxia again it doesn't work anymore what do you do and friends do you want to know how long we walk through this journey worked very hard 17 years in the ministry 17 years feeding the poor that orphans the widows we have never once had to raise funds when god calls he will provide when god calls he will protect amen what do we do we work very hard and after that we put down everything we take the profit and then we go and do this work 10 years as if walking in the pitch back black tunnel there's not even a light at the end of the tunnel [Music] and these 10 years this is what i see him doing never one time he's in depression never one time he blamed god never one time he said that god if you don't heal me i'm not going to serve you anymore never every time when he's in pain he will find a corner he will kneel down one hand he will put at where the pain is and the other hand he will raise to god and this is what he said yet i choose to praise you yet at all time in all circumstances i will say that you are good and your mercy endures forever you know when you brush your teeth you spit out his white colgate right toothpaste for him when he brush his teeth and he spit out it's red it's blood after that there's blood caught [Music] there's always a voice asking where is your god you serve god you think you're so good you think you're so clever your god cannot even heal you look at your condition it's deteriorating what do you do this is what i see my husband do he will wipe away his blood blood always come out from the nose you know when i got up i saw the pillowcase there's always blood i don't know where the blood comes from he will wipe away the blood this is what he say for me to live is christ to die is gain oh death where is your sting i am still standing because my god one of his name is emmanuel and his promise is he will never leave me he will never forsake me that is where my god is and amazingly the pain will just go away so we continue we continue the work from 1 200 children the ministry grew to 1 500 children and the cancer also continued to grow from a size of one egg this time round to a size of two eggs one inside the brain one outside the brain 2012 december was his birthday i asked him where do you want to go because we thought that was his last birthday he cannot really function already he said he want to go to my philippines up in the mountain of santo tomas to see the children that we care for for the last time true enough when we came back he cannot function anymore one day he can only got up two hours he cannot work he cannot do business he cannot minister he cannot preach anymore and that two hours he will gather his strength to prepare me and he said that don't blame god don't get angry with god when i die continue to press on until i see you again in heaven i said okay ten years i never cried in front of him behind him i cried he always prepared me are you ready i see you in heaven okay in front of him i said yes i'm ready i'll see you in heaven too yeah but then i'll go behind and i'll cry and i'll cry and i'll cry zero one three much he went for another surgery seven hours this time around and when he came up from the surgery you cannot see anymore you cannot hear already now cannot see and then he was in so much pain he cannot breathe friday was the surgery he said to me i think it's enough stop praying for me i want to go home to be my heavenly father i have done enough and now it's time for me to live on saturday we said goodbye we prepared everything we prepared a funeral we prepared a photo we prepared the family that was the very first time after 10 years i cracked in front of him i take out my hand phone and i said can you record something say that you love me say that you miss me [Music] so that these two words perhaps will carry me through when i miss you when you're no longer here friends i just want to encourage you husband and wife i want to speak to husband and wife do you want to know what i learned fighting cancer for 10 years together with my husband this is what i learned there's not even enough time to love why do we have to fight all the time stop fighting do you know the only time and place but you can still be husband and wife is right here on earth in heaven we are no longer husband and wife learn to treasure each other that was what happened to me in the hospital i realized how short is the time even to love is not enough there was saturday everything was prepared and then but i guess god is not yet done with saturday night at the hospital you can show the picture on the hospital yeah let us see i was waiting for him at a corner [Music] surgery is on a friday saturday night 12 o'clock midnight he opened his eyes and he cried my husband some of you if you have met him you know he's a macho guy he don't cry 20 hours surgery he'll never cry fighting cancer 10 years he'll never cry but that moment he cried his whole body was trembling the bait was shaking and tears rolling out of the eyes and he cried really loud jesus is here jesus is here i open my eyes and i look at him and i notice that you know surely something is unusual okay so i got up i'm trying to reach him at the bed just a few steps before i can even reach the bed i fell down under the glory of god i fell down under the weight of his glory in his presence do you know friends what i wanted at that point of time is for my husband to be healed right it's for jesus to heal him right but yet [Music] in that presence i cannot offer a word of request the only thing that can come up from this lips is this thank you jesus thank you jesus thank you who am i who are we all the god of heaven and the earth the king of all kings the lord of all lords [Music] the creator of heaven and earth and all that is within it would love us so much to send his one and only begotten son into this world the world that betrayed him the world that is in sin the world that hated him so much and died for us on the cross and as long as we believe in him we will be with him in paradise belief means adheres to relies on and trust in beliefs mean trusting him and obeying him who am i i can only say thank you god thank you jesus thank you jesus and this is what i see him doing he took a deep breath and he fell asleep that was saturday night sunday eight o'clock in the morning the nurse came to me and wake me up hello hello wake up wake up wake up i woke up where's your husband your husband is not on the bed your husband is gone where is he i got panicked the nurse got panicked i feel so ashamed i can take care of a patient until the patient's gone i panic press emergency button green patient missing patient missing you need to know friday is the surgery this is day seven surgery major surgery this is sunday okay the third day yeah and then he's gone and then we were like panicking and my husband opened the toilet door he opened the toilet door why so noisy are you looking for me i'm not missing i'm here we were like how can you you go to shower you know we can smell the soak bath yeah you go to shower he said yeah he said that you know what jesus came last night and he touched me right here and he breathed a new breath of god into my nostril i fell asleep this morning i wake up i can see yesterday i cannot see right i can see i saw you you were sitting there you're tired i don't want to disturb you i let you sleep and the pain is gone just like that just like that because the pain is gone i try i get out with a bit i see better if i can stand and i can stand i take a few steps hey i can walk so i remove all my string and needle if you see my husband you know he can remove the you know he's that type that he can remove his own you know yeah then it's very hot it's very hot so i go shower the nurse was like jesus came you go back to your bed you are a naughty patient i'm going to call your doctor you call the doctor the doctor he's a professor from nni number two in singapore also a christian okay the doctor is a bit stressed with our situation with with his condition prior and the doctor is a very humble a man prior to the surgery he tell me that go and tell all your friends or your pastor friend to pray okay that the hand of god will guide my hand as i do the surgery because i don't have record killing pastor so he must come out alive okay yeah so he looked and he checked and he checked and he checked it the steelers are here you're okay yeah i'm okay he said it you know one year i do 50 over cases brain surgery i have never seen recovery like this surely this come from the lord our god jesus christ amen you know what monday before 12 o'clock the three of us woke up from the hospital and today he's healed all glory to god can i have the worship team to prepare for uh the song yeah the heart of worship friends this is my story this is my daughter's story this is my husband's story you know what if not because of jesus christ the three of us won't be around today my question is this what about your story what about your struggle what about the breakthrough that you are looking for friends i am not here to sell you jesus i'm not here to even promote and to say that you must accept jesus christ because he's just too glorious he's just too awesome he is real [Music] but what i'm trying to tell you is this if jesus can be so real in my life if this jesus can be so real in my daughter life if this jesus can be so really in my husband life he can be real too in your life what you need to do is just believe [Music] because the bible say those who believe will see the glory of god amen

Channel: Jesus My King Church

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Id: RW7TwRNnWR8

Length: 47min 38sec (2858 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 11 2021