Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - The Weirdest Movie We've Watched

maybe I could sneak in and watch Final Fantasy Spirits Within hi everybody welcome back to cosmonaut Picture Show I'm Dan and I'm not today we're watching everybody's favorite final fantasy video game movie adaptation Final Fantasy the Spirits Within that's the one that everybody loves right yeah square pictures never heard the point is that Square Enix that was so yes they made a they made a separate studio i they're still around right didn't they do the lighthouse there yep that's them known for their hit films this one and nothing else ever so this is looking a little bit like Final Fantasy oh why are so many movies start with eyes this looks worse than Shrek so far yes it does oh so if she was dreaming and they recorded it I'm gonna say actually I don't think this looks that bad mMmmm it's fine just everybody's moving so slow that it looks like one of those one of those like CGI dramatization yeah they use on the news yeah Oh somebody what a robbery looks like don't open that is you sure you're gonna die gonna kill yourself you idiot alright we didn't accidentally put on like a Halo movie did we yeah there's no way to know Florida there we are hey yeah that's Florida where's this thing I don't remember Florida being in Final Fantasy so our main character wants to save the earth is that true yeah so she said imagine going into the theater to watch this cuz that happened right this did get a theatrical yes it did they were really confident in this movie ain't Pepsi Pepsi and Sony final tips to see that's almost as bad as the product placement in Final Fantasy it's been if you take something already delicious like cup noodles and add in the finest freshest ingredients where you get the ultimate flavor experience I know there's some some celebrity stars in this film you know this is making me think of what Lost Planet remember that games yeah mm-hmm I'm getting Lost Planet vibes this would be really cool if it was like a video game yeah I'd be into this they should make a video game out of this movie yeah they should did you hear that voice they're coming with us oh my god is that is that Jack Donaghy is that boss baby we knew we could count on him to save New York [Music] I think a movie like this came out now actually do pretty well like an elite of battle angel style yeah this is a little bit more visually impressive because these phantoms aren't necessarily very interesting to look at no they're not yeah oh god I was really afraid there I was with him very much yes my favorite character captain you know she looks like who looks like the facade girl Chris Redfield Chris Redfield again remember me it's it weird that I was kind of expecting just a CGI alec baldwin's even in this movie the white guys look the same why are you always busting my chops people let's fight is that Steve Buscemi I'm working on it I think that Steve Buscemi it kind of does sound like him so what happened was he got some ghosts they say they say he came in contact with the ghosts they touched his body and you know got ghost in him where to touch him his ghost hole his soul hole oh no target locked sorry I've located the ghost in your soul so far this has been everything other than final fantasy it's been ever get a little bit of Metroid they all look like Chris Pine all the human men look like Chris Pine that's Chris Pine over there in the corner that's Chris Pine this is so uninteresting it's very boring it's a boring movie all life is born of Gaia and each life hey da yeah yeah wait a minute I thought this was earth what the [ __ ] is Gaia I'm American I never heard of this weird [ __ ] you better start being normal I'm not gonna watch the movie okay so Gaia and Earth are separate mm-hmm what the [ __ ] I wrote that 43 years ago when I was the age you are now what the [ __ ] you're old they're all this [ __ ] how old is she supposed to be who knows what are you three years ago when I was your age so if he was he's got to be like 70 something right now right if he was 70 something that makes sense although this is final fantasy maybe she's 16 that's true she could be like a 17 year old high school student oh yeah World of Warcraft oh no Lakhdar this looks real bad these creatures this is what I think of whenever you try to get me to play Warhammer yeah opposite his doctor said is that his last name Sid Sid Sid Sid Mario so those when we watch these movies for this show I'd like inclined to just fast-forward to something interesting yeah I remember we're not allowed to we have to watch the whole thing he looks horrible yes guy looks really dumb I feel like they took a regular character mod like how do we make him evil what the babies i brownstone yeah they just pulled up the cheekbones can't we just like watch a collection of cutscenes from a Final Fantasy game and stuff but that's kind of what we're doing right now I legitimately cannot picture anybody sitting down in the theater and watching this movie oh people would have definitely walked out of this yeah I didn't know it was a cartoon you said Donald Sutherland was in this you said I would Baldwin was then the lady from from ER was in it I only saw some cartoon Chinese person well I was just a little upset when you just packed up and left for the zoo station without saying a word well can't stop hearing boss baby they so the plot is they need to find the all of the ghosts of the planet so that mother planet spirit noodles well I don't know I think like the end of the movies most likely gonna be oh they weren't really bad they were just trying to survive and they're here's a way that we can save them there's no reason why this can't just be normal people there's nothing weird enough for you know there's nothing like everything's been filmed in close quarters everything's just normal human drama just put people in it look is evil face look at this guy next to him just really normal the same exactly Portland's Peyton Manning versus I think that's the same donal doctor Sinestro it looks I think you just tell me whether the little computer yeah and they just stretched his brow line and they made his mouth a little more frowny yes it's actually kind of like Warhammer what the [ __ ] is going on did you guys have weird-ass dreams [Music] [Laughter] my lady they got that stanky leg they do are you all the spirits is this a music video now I'm convinced that these dreams are some form of communication I've been having these weird thoughts lately like is any of this video that's gonna start being exciting or not I will say the characters have personalities in like their people I just don't care about them they're not interesting people I don't think they do have personalities this guy you know he's a leader type leader man he's OE he's in charge and she is withholding ly intelligent yes hmm she's smart and brave and then the black guy is black my father's in here somewhere what your father's in here and so I feel so funny because you can tell these concept artists went [ __ ] hard because that's what they're good at all the artists probably worked really hard everybody probably worked really hard to make this boring-ass movie this is des stranding I didn't play it this is little duster anything's like you're telling me his backpack is the seventh spirit yes you're right the movie could tell us anything and we just have to go with it we don't have a choice this isn't funny we're just watching movies I mean we're done that maybe let's give it five more minutes all right what the [ __ ] oh good they straight up stole his soul yo that's all right that's kinda metal why couldn't this happen in the beginning of the movie that's gangster this is where the movie should have started yeah it is of course I am of course I am you don't have to say all right there's a big dragon killing people oh no she was small like in slow motion while everybody else is moving normally that's why this movie CG can't do that yeah that's true it's almost impossible to do in real life the death stranding ripoff Final Fantasy the Spirits Within Final Fantasy Spirits Within Bionicle that's what they look like that's what I did they do look like biotic oh yeah I love Watchmen though this is Terminator 2 Judgment Day what am i [ __ ] looking at oh my god what the [ __ ] meanwhile we have [ __ ] aliens to evade come on Steve Buscemi alright I guess we're just inside this thing Star Wars it's Star Wars now it's every movie and it's every game but it's not Final Fantasy my soul I really like this concept that they could just [ __ ] knock the soul out of you Neil get us back to New York these lines are hilarious lemon get us back to New York what about I cannot imagine playing a Final Fantasy game and someone says get us back to New York instead she's dying there must be something what but why did she get shot cuz she had a dream and she violently woke up and the guy was like ah and shot her that's literally what happened honestly she could have just passed out in the scene before and he could have said the spirits within her are upset and she's dying and I would have accepted spirits are mad minecraft bed next to yours and I am watching what major it's Final Fantasy the Spirits Within I don't care what anybody says that's one of the best sci-fi films ever made this man is so normal it's absurd how normal he watch this movie yeah good turn it's like huh look at that that's weird anyway Oh well the sounds are just like whistling no plastic yeah forks hitting each other literally Bionicle Oh what was that General Grievous what the [ __ ] is going on is it like rendering it's that it looked like it was rendering I had a poster in the textures were yeah we were supposed to see that in HD what the [ __ ] is happening welcome new Galaxy Fargo - I can't stop paying attention to you because it's so strange as movies just odd but honestly I don't think it's that bad this certainly isn't like you know the worst movie I've ever seen it's just boring and kind of weird either cutscenes - a game I would never play I'm gonna say that this is the same thing as des traning my wife and daughter were killed by phantoms when the San Francisco barrier so his family got their souls stoled the meteor is a chunk of their planet that got thrown into space when they destroyed their world all our strategies are based on one assumption that we were fighting alien invaders they are we are the invaders I told you I was very disappointed just now to find out that we are only halfway through no I what else could possibly happen I was under the assumption that maybe the movie was starting to head into the final and it seemed like that last scene they just kind of had everything figured out I can call it what the [ __ ] else could happen I'm kind of curious now I don't know what the [ __ ] gonna happen in this movie I think we should proceed to the nearest evacuation for those ghetto funny yeah I I I'm really not getting the the concept behind like they're not alien invaders they're just looking for refuge on our planet and they're killing us they're not alien invaders they're just invading see when they told me this movie is called Final Fantasy the Spirits Within I thought that would be like a metaphorical I didn't know there would be spirits within the same thing it's very halo got your soul oh my god oh god Jesus was fine everybody's alright I didn't hit anybody but that was actually the best case scenario for the worst case scenario oh I think Steve Buscemi's definitely gonna lose his soul on this movie do you mean like when they were filming or do you mean like in a cannon character okay the characters gonna die I was he gonna die like fire flag I know they're fine like a leaf on the wind like a leaf on the wind oh he he'd got the leaf on the wind I knew someone was going down that way oh no no duck no drugs captain you guys man what a shitty leader just give me a gun you got it this guy is a little too accommodating you should strive to help your my leadership style is to let the team kind of lead themselves I'm trying to be that friendly type cool boss you can hang out with he needs medicine no he doesn't want medicine he needs a doctor no he wants a good but but sir this is a very unceremoniously is Aki and dr. Sid prepped the Quatro I'll go to the tower and rotate the air tray mr. white I don't know anything that he just said what is it you SMF it's not their insignia yeah u.s. states [ __ ] give it back it was ours give us the soul back oh they're both done for just trim the fat get rid of everybody we don't need the shield is powered and ready old bastard everything's okay right you don't know everyday seems have done a good job out there why why why I'm going in there I'm gonna get those Souls back listen here you son of a [ __ ] I thought he was gonna drop the gun the whole reason they went with this character design for the enemies yeah it's because you literally had to make half over under and you don't have to worry about it making contact with anything cuz it just goes through [ __ ] you're right you're right it is simply the cheapest option damn it you're right they just made the outline Wow you kind of ruined this movie for me today yeah sorry I mean obviously I was enjoying it I'm not surprised that's exactly what I thought was going to happen because it's a [ __ ] giant ghost you and sugar getting out of here now no everyone everyone's dead not leaving without you oh [ __ ] she actually left me oh no you're supposed to say no I'm not going without you and then fly back and get me goddammit now I'm all by myself and the movies got to be almost over right I don't know how to tell you this but uh what nope how were there 30 minutes left hey you alright how you holding up there buddy doing okay you want to change you've been wearing that shirt for a while buddy honey are you okay you can still wear your u.s. [ __ ] sure I'm just gonna go outside for a little bit no just how we started come full-circle it just really looks around sorry right yeah what's this Star Wars villain music Oh cause he's here that makes sense is this a deaf star yeah this is the zoo so it's Star Wars again somehow well they killed the heroes the heroes have been killed I very much do not accept the fact that this movie is going to try to make us care about the ghosts now I hate to say it but I do actually understand the motivations of the villain and I understand the relationships between these characters I'm gonna have to say that this movie isn't that bad Pasic hasn't really been that bad like it started off slow but it kind of gradually built up and then after the second half it got really serious I fully disagree it's party time this is [ __ ] and I don't agree I agree with this man now I agree with the stupid Albert Wesker looking [ __ ] yes well then you should have told them not to murder the earth is under attack from an aggressor who must be destroyed at all cost I get this guy I [ __ ] with what I [ __ ] what he's saying the ghosts have done nothing but murder countless people and she's like a Jewish kid wittle baby's credits and you know starts playing this is a shot from Hercules yes it is James Woods is in the movie this movie is every movie but it's not final fantasy my plan is to destroy all the planets so I can stay up here and my fun tube I'd like to fly around I'm shaky here and you guys oh he's just falling asleep I watched some Moree this man has like yeah he really hasn't been under any threat at all he's been patiently sitting on the sidelines like you guys gotta go in there okay I'll be over here can you explain more don't know I don't have time to explain you guys have to go in there and leave me here dumbass go around words like chillers people I'm sorry did she just fall asleep so that she could find out the answer it's the power of melatonin this whole time you were you were the spirit within with me with the hope of new life as guy who changed the phantom within the phantom with it you were so close ceased you were so close idiot Oh birds now they're at peace no don't destroy them I have to blow them up with Magic Legion see he tried to fire again and it didn't go off it just blow up the hubris of man only turn off explosion deactivate explosion undo explosion listen to me you saved my life once now I want you to save yourself No let me do this sake trust me what's happening I don't know let me do this is he's proceeded to just do nothing who me - okay Bowser is a [ __ ] she was swinging him around I have no idea what the [ __ ] is happening right you wait what the [ __ ] happened what what's that data did you guys do all the work yet I'm getting kind of bored over here what the [ __ ] is that that looks like something out of a Final Fantasy game oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is happening what are these what are these things this is like the end of a Tekken game I get music or something quiet contemplation music Pat's fantasy is not known for its music yeah [Music] no it is Enya I was right oh wow that was it huh that was it Thank You Hironobu Sakaguchi I wouldn't call that an original story [Music] [Applause]

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 682,937

Keywords: Final Fantasy, spirits within, cosmonaut picture show, commentary

Id: BraVtD_j9-E

Length: 24min 20sec (1460 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 15 2020