I wish for Film Theory to
cross 20 million subscribers. Sorry Matt, can’t do it.
What? Why? Listen, the wand did a little farty
noise thing so it’s against Da Rules. Ahh, Fine. I wish for a good Morbius movie.
Nope. Against Rule #101. I wish for another season of Gravity Falls?
Nope. Rule #3-15-4-5. Fine. You left me no choice. I'm just going
to have to prove that there are no rules, that they're all an elaborate conspiracy to
keep stock image fairies like you in check. Say psych right now.
I will not say psych right now, sir. Da Rules are a
lie! and I'm about to prove it. Hello Internet! Welcome to Film Theory,
EddCrouseFairy can't grant my wish for 20 million subscribers, but you can. Cast your
magic on that subscribe button. You know, one of the classic nicktoons that I always thought
flew under the radar was the Fairly Oddparents. This show was unhinged in all the best ways. And why not? It's a show about
a little boy named Timmy Turner with two fairy godparents that can
grant his every wish. Sounds awesome. Or I suppose not every wish. You see, the
fairy godparents do have some limitations on what wishes they can and can't
grant. All of which are outlined in a magical legal document known simply as Da Rules.
In fact, the show goes to great lengths to explain the rigorous training that fairy godparents have
to endure so that Da Rules never get broken. And that makes sense, right? Every magic system
has to have rules. Three wishes for a genie, no wishing for more wishes, no making people
fall in love. All the classic stuff. So the world of the Fairly Oddparents shouldn't be
that different, right? Right? Well, you know, when I start asking rhetorical questions like
that, it's because the answer probably isn't as obvious as it seems. Nope, loyal theorist. After
watching the show, maybe a little bit too intently for a children's cartoon. It's become clear to
me that Da Rules are actually more like Da Big Fat Lies. Lies perpetuated by a muscle bound
guardian, preparing the fairy world for war. Don't believe me? Grab your wands, your wings
and floaty crown things. It's time to wish for some answers. So first, let's set some
context. What's exactly in Da Rules? As I just talked about, Da Rules
are a collection of guidelines that determine what wishes a fairy godparent
can and can't grant their godkids. On the surface. A lot of the rules make perfect sense.
Fairies can't grant a wish that intentionally kills or hurt someone. No wishes for money,
no wishes that interfere with love, no wishes that help cheat in competitions, no wishes for
anyone except the godchild. And above all else, a godchild must never, ever reveal the existence
of their fairies to anyone else. Otherwise they're going to lose their fairies, their memories,
and reverse every wish they've ever had. It’s a pretty harsh system. But then again,
it seems sensible for upholding the structure of this magical world. We're told in the show
that a fairy’s primary purpose is to bring joy, and Da Rules help prevent any wishes that might
result in a net negative of joy. Plus, to help make sure that the godkid doesn't unintentionally
break a rule, there are safeguards in place. The wish won't get granted and instead the fairy’s
wand dims, wilts and then makes a fart sound. In general, it seems safe to say that Da
Rules are fundamental to fairy society, with Da first rules having been drafted long
ago by the Council, four ancient and powerful fairies that rule over the fairy world. But
Da Rules also seem to be a living document, with new rules getting added all the time. For
instance, you cannot wish for every day to be Christmas, which got added after Timmy wished
for exactly that and things got messy in a hurry. But the more you watch the show, the more
something feels… off about Da Rules. Some of them are just nonsensical, like magic can't be used
on invisible teachers, sleeping clowns, French New-Wave filmmakers, and anyone who wears clear
glasses as a fashion statement. It's certainly weird for sure, but it's not bad. Others are just
simply inconvenient, like the fact that breakfast related wishes are denied after 10:30 a.m.
But then there are the rules that are just flat out dangerous. For example, fairies must always
attempt to grant the wishes of their godchildren, even if they just offhandedly say “I wish”.
Doesn't even matter if they're conscious or not. On top of that, there are these
massive loopholes in Da Rules that Timmy often demonstrates throughout the show. This then becomes a huge problem in one
episode with Timmy making all sorts of rule breaking wishes for money to win multiple
reality show competitions and for his crush to fall in love with him. He later writes
that no fairy godkids have to follow Da Rules either, thereby causing Da Rules to almost
self-destruct and destroy the entire universe. It's pretty horrifying right? So Da
Rules then are clearly responsible for holding together the fabric of reality.
And yet that just flat out isn't true. See, magic and wish granting aren’t powers
that are exclusive to fairies in this world and throughout the series, we see other
magical creatures completely ignore basic, fundamental principles. Take, for instance, the
anti-fairies who are all about causing bad luck and pain in ways that break Da Rules.
There are also genies who basically don't follow any rules. Even their
limit on three wishes isn't real. Some humans have also gained the ability
to wield magic like the Wizard, Merlin, and all he uses his powers for is to help his
nephew Arthur win competitions and become royalty, a direct violation of Da Rule against cheating. Then there are the Pixies who are just as
magical as the fairies, but treat magic as a business. All of their wish granting
is seen as transactional with bureaucratic rules and red tape that controls everything.
And yet, just like any good corrupt businessman, the powerful ones aren't above bending and
breaking their own rules to get ahead. During a minigolf competition that's subject
to important contractual obligations, several Pixies break Da Rules and
cheat to help the head pixie win. And yet, despite all of this rule breaking the
universe stays intact. But okay, maybe that's just other creatures breaking Da Rules.
Maybe fairies operate by a different form of logic, or a different code of magic. Maybe
their magic is different and disconnected from the rest. Well, that's not true either. First of all,
Timmy and his fairies break Da Rules all the time to the point where we could literally be here
all day if I just wanted to list out examples, just for the sake of showing some work, here are
a few. In Ruled Out, Timmy wishes his parents couldn't care less about him. Violating Da Rule
against interfering with love. In I Dream of Cosmo, Cosmo hits his head and briefly believes
that he's become a weenie. That's part witch, part genie. He proceeds then to grant
several rule breaking wishes to Timmy's dad, including wishing for money, thereby breaking the
rule and counterfeiting. Da Rule against cheating in competitions? Yeah. That one’s basically
broken every other episode, like in Foul Balled, Super Bike, Movie Magic, just to name a few. That
last one actually is my favorite example of rule breaking because Cosmo literally rips a page
out of his copy of Da Rules that forbids him from helping Timmy, thereby implying that fairies
can basically ignore any rule if they so choose. But perhaps the most egregious example of
breaking Da Rules is mentioned in Hassle in the Castle. When it's revealed to Cosmo
and Wanda's most infamous former godkid… Yeah. Even without wishing directly for the
death of the Archduke, World War 1 caused 20 million deaths and 21 million injuries.
I would say that that one caused a net negative of joy. So, something suspicious
is going on with these rules. These things are supposedly super important, unbreakable,
potentially world ending, and yet, they’re broken all the time. Therefore they're a lie.
I've proven my thesis. Film Theory becomes Film Fact. Thanks, everyone. Let's wrap it early. Slap
a dark truth in big ol’ red text on a thumbnail and ship it. Well, Not quite. Sure, at this point
we've proven that Da Rules are full of lies and you can break them pretty much whenever you want.
But we're still left with one major question: why? If these things aren't real and they're
not being enforced consistently, then why are they here at all? It can't possibly
be because it's a cartoon for children, and breaking Da Rules would make for easily
manufactured drama. No, no, that's not it. See, the more I kept watching and digging into
the lore of the series, everything started to point back to one person, the one magical
creature in control of both Da Rules and the Fairy World writ large: Jorgen von Strangle.
Self-proclaimed toughest fairy in the universe. Jorgen is a major supporting character
in the series, the guardian of Da Rules who knows them by heart so he can properly
enforce them. He's also in charge of training fairies at his fairy academy boot camp, as
well as assigning godparents to new godkids who need joy in their life. Basically,
he's the fairy general of the fairy army. But if he's such a pro of the fairy world,
why is he propping up this book of lies? Well, everything starts to click into place thanks
to two episodes. First, there’s School’s Out The Musical, where the Pixies attempt to take
over the fairy world. Remember these guys? They’re the magical creatures that are obsessed
with destroying joy and whimsy and replacing it with contracts, boredom and rules. Yeah, it's
a bit suspicious, isn't it? In this episode, the Pixies find a sad infant clown named
Flappy Bob, and they enact a 37 year anti fun plan acting as Flappy Bob's own godparents for
decades. But instead of granting him every wish for clownish fun, they mold him into a boring
Harvard Law educated businessman. Meanwhile, the Pixies trick Timmy into wishing
that kids were in charge of the Earth in retaliation against all their rules and laws.
But here's the problem, with the kids now in charge every fairy godparent is pulled back into
Fairy World because the kids no longer need them. And Da Rules also state that if Pixies
are the last magical creatures on Earth, they're granted control over the planet.
Which is exactly what happens. Has to be one of the worst case scenarios for the fairies,
who basically only exist to bring joy to others. This sequence of events raises a ton of questions.
If fairies are kicked off the earth if kids are suddenly in charge, why isn't wishing for
that something that's explicitly listed in Da Rules? Meanwhile, all of this happened
only because Flappy Bob was never granted a fairy godparent. Clearly, he was miserable during his
childhood, and yet he got a Pixie for some reason. Why? Timmy was assigned Cosmo and
Wanda because he didn't want to do chores. I think an orphaned clown
having the circus pummeled out of him, might be just a little bit higher on the
priority list. Most importantly of all, though, how did Jorgen not see any of this coming?
Remember, Jorgen is the custodian of Da Rules, he knows them inside and out, and yet he does
basically nothing the hundreds of times that we see them getting broken throughout the show. And
as the trainer and assigner of new godparents, he should have known how miserable Flappy Bob was
during his childhood and done something about it. Jorgen also isn't surprised when the Pixies
reference that obscure loophole that gives them control of earth in Da Rules.
So he clearly knows that it exists. And as the guardian of the master copy
of Da Rules, he's one of the only people who can change them as he pleases. So this
should have been something that he rectified well before it became a problem. So why didn't
he? Why is Jorgen lying about Da Rules? Well, Jorgen didn't stop this precisely because he did
see it coming. He wanted this to happen. He wanted the fairies pulled back into the fairy world. It's
all part of a larger plan. At first I thought that maybe Jorgen wasn't actually a fairy, but instead
some sort of undercover pixie on the inside. I mean, he loves rules and enforcing
them, just like the Pixies. But we learned definitively in the
season seven episode Cosmo Rules that he's actually Cosmo's cousin,
thereby proving that he's a fairy. So what then is his deal? Well, it all comes
down to that second episode I mentioned earlier and then left unexplained until now for
dramatic effect. You see, the last piece of the puzzle that brings everything together
is the Season six finale Wishology. Here we learn that fairies weren't always the sweet,
cute, cuddly creatures that we know of today. Basically, fairies were once a race of super
soldiers at war with a force known as the Darkness, which was only defeated when thousands
of fairy warriors combined their powers to create a neutralizing light. And even then, the
fairy council prophesied that the Darkness would one day return. They sent millions of the
strongest fairy warriors out into the void of space to create an early warning system for
Fairy World should the darkness ever return. According to the lore of the series, that's
exactly why there are stars in the sky. All those stars, they're fairies on the lookout.
Now, that's a cool story and all, but just think about its implications. Fairy World must have
been devastated by this war with the Darkness, if millions of them were sent into space at
the end of the fighting just to be a warning system. And that's not even thinking about how
many died during combat, their population has clearly dwindled to a point where the entirety of
Fairy World can fit inside of a gumball machine. And it's not like fairies reproduce quickly
either. In FairlyOdd Baby Cosmo and Wanda's child Poof is born. And we learn that the last
fairy child born before Poof was Cosmo himself. And yet in the Past and the Furious we
meet Cosmo and Wanda's very first godchild, the caveman credited with inventing the wheel.
That means that, at minimum, another new fairy hasn't been born since at least the Paleolithic
era. 40,000 years ago. Even the fairy economy seems to be suffering, unable to fill positions
in vital public services like law enforcement. T And so Jorgen did what he thought
he needed to do. He created a sham system that would eventually result in kids
losing their fairies and those fairies then having to return to the fairy world. For
centuries, he's been tweaking Da Rules, trying to create a situation where the godkids of
earth mess up so badly that the godparents have no choice but to abandon them. That's why he allowed
the Pixies to exploit the loophole. After kids become the dominant species on earth, he's happy
to pull all those fairies back to Fairy World. In the episode, we see them being put to
work in real jobs that can help rebuild their infrastructure. He wants the fairies back
to rebuild their population. Remember, before Poof Cosmo was the last fairy child born and he's older
than the entirety of human civilization. In short, when humans came into being, production of new
fairies stopped. And without the need to train godparents, there's a perfect excuse to turn
the fairy academy into an actual fairy army boot camp. Jorgen knows that the Darkness is going
to return. And he's been spending his entire life preparing for it. That's why his physique
is so much more like the fairy warriors of old and why he immediately takes charge of the
entire Fairy World when the darkness returns, sending all the other fairies to be protected in
a gumball machine as he tries his best to fight back. He begrudgingly teams up with Timmy, someone
he loathes, even sacrifices himself to make sure that Timmy can save the fairy world. That is his
primary goal, no matter the cost. And here's the thing: his plan seems to work. Timmy is able to
dispel the Darkness by showing it love, thereby turning it towards kindness. And towards the end
of the series, we learn that there's a shortage of fairy godparents, partially because fairies
have begun pursuing careers within Fairy World. That said, Jorgen's plan didn't work well enough. We still had to suffer through all
those episodes with the Dog Fairy. But hey, if you want something that breaks Da
Rules of our world, you should check out our sponsor for today's episode, Air Up. the bottle
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wished for everything that you drank to taste more delicious, all without adding any calories
or chemicals or whatever. And that right there is Air Up. When I first found air up and told the
team about it, they were understandably skeptical. But then one of our theorists, Mr. Creative
Director for Film Theory here, Lee, bought one and also started raving about it too. And just
like that, the dominos fell. And now basically everyone on the team has themselves one. And we've
been getting them for our IRL friends and family too. My personal favorite is Wild Berry, but Lee
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