Fetishist interview-Barbie Jean

all right Barbie Jean Barbie Jean uh where'd you grow up where are you from originally Lombard Illinois very Suburbia lifestyle with a close unit family of four sounds like how I grew up right down the street yeah Special tell me about your uh your family oh my mom and dad are this power couple and uh I have a twin identical sister and you know we were I don't know we were just this playset everywhere of all of our friends wanted to come to everyone else was getting divorces and my family was so close and so open and easy to talk to we went to church every Sunday we're very active in youth group and Outreach and the community um yeah so it sounds like a pretty great childhood it was what kind of girl were you in high school high school was when I started getting a little well probably just confident I was a cheerleader I started having sex and also being a cheerleader I felt like I was constantly sexualized being in my tight mini skirt being an attractive set of twins also had its level of you know being sexualized I would just see that glimmer in people's eyes mostly men that would just be thinking about having sex with us or asking us if we've ever hooked up with the same person always kind of harassing in a different way you know inquiring further about what we were into um but we did actually use that to our Advantage One one day um which is a good story we we were studying abroad together and This MC it was like a bar or a club and This MC it was having um a pole dancing competition and he was like you girls have to sign up you have to sign up and you have to be the twins so we were like okay let's do it we backstage practiced a little bit you know got our routine down we're like she went low first and I went high and we swapped and we had a little freestyle and then we kissed at the end and that's the only time we've ever kissed but of course the crowd went wild it was wild there was no question we won of course I mean so I felt I felt good about that because I was like okay I'm I was like sticking it to all the men and all the people that have you know wanted that kinky twin fantasy but I didn't want to give it to him then so that felt good at that moment and your family is sex something that's treated as is not as something dirty you guys are pretty open about it yeah I mean of course like when I've had sex for the first time it was you know I was so young so I think my parents were being very protective and um but in my adult life it's always been easy to talk about um very open communication and I remember the first time I my mom has a bit of some boundaries like when I started a dating couples when I moved to LA she I told her I was going on a date with a couple just naturally in conversation she's like oh honey that's too much information for me I was like okay noted sorry Mom so you know there's I know her boundaries and with my dad I don't really talk about sex but all right so you guys are pretty normal and private about it all yeah I guess so but so you you came to La when you were how old I was uh 25 20 yeah 25 from from the Midwest I actually moved abroad I lived in Australia for a year oh you did New Zealand for a year I had my first interaction with a fetish in Australia for a job I was struggling to get by and my friend found this ad on Craigslist for a strong able-bodied women to perform a fetish we were like we're strong we could do this and he had a fetish for being piggybacked literally just like wanted to be on our backs so we went to this yoga studio and uh he stripped down to his he was in a suit looking normal businessman stripped down to his yoga shorts comfy clothes we stripped down to our bikinis and I grabbed the camera it was all videoed which of course had anxiety and fear are hoping that this video wouldn't surface one day and my mom and dad wouldn't see it but I kind of swallowed that fear my friend was very open and fearless so I just kind of took her lead and we took turns piggybacking this man with his hard [ __ ] on my back the whole time around the studio yeah he was on our backs so we took turns um videoing I felt good with my photography skills I was getting good angles you know we were having fun with it um it was definitely I mean my curiosity too was exploding because I was like how did this Kink happen like where did this come from so as he was on my back I I kept asking him you know where it all came from and he said he grew up in India and was carried around a lot as a kid and just kind of realized that it was something that turned him on but he was so quiet and scared to share with his friends people he's dated he never shared with any of his partners so I just kept telling him like oh my God there's so much more kinky or weirder [ __ ] in the world like just let it out I'm sure someone would be into it or just want to please you so you know I think from that point forward I always wanted to be more open and just continuing to just inspire people to be comfortable in their shoes can you explored and kind of branched out from where you find pleasure yeah so well I went home when I lived in New Zealand I went home with a woman for the first time and so that primarily I was just dating men for I guess my eight years of sexual experiences and so when I went home with a woman I remember waking up the next morning and there was just like this beautiful sun like beating on her soft body and I was like damn I I love [ __ ] but I also love [ __ ] like what I don't know I was very overwhelmed by it because it felt so good and then so that kind of made me interested in couples Group Play so when I moved to LA it was the perfect opportunity for me to dive into this lifestyle because it's so I don't know there's a lot of queer people here it's easy to connect with like-minded people I found FetLife which is a really good kind of like Facebook for kinky people you can post photos you can you have a profile people can comment and I just started meeting all these Doms I was dating some Doms in the BDSM community I met some really cool just like fluid beings and started going to sex parties every weekend so I just kind of dove in and began exploring with um impact play like floggers um I really just love the fluidity of being with multiple people at one time it was just fun to be able to like go out with these friends and then just end up in a naked pile of bodies at the end of the night I also loved like sucking dicks with men too that only happened a couple times but it was just this really I don't know raw and vulnerable experience where I feel very fluid in my sexuality so it was cool to share that with men when that's just a little bit more taboo I suppose when you say with men you mean other men doing the same thing yeah like sharing a [ __ ] together with a guy I feel like that was just like really awesome for me I was like this is the best I need more of this in my life um but then amongst the swinger lifestyle and sex parties and uh that kind of scene was also the BDSM world so they overlapped a little bit um but there were some sex dungeons in La that I went to and frequented met some really cool dominatrixes that would [ __ ] me and that was just a blast and I experienced was just like some fire and just really started just I don't know I've always loved exploring and it sounds like you're very adventurous yeah I would say your interest in general or just sexually I am yeah uh I enjoyed living abroad I loved you know I've been skydiving a few times I've been bungee jumping a few times I I love that adrenaline high that you get and I think with sex it's almost a similar feeling like an orgasm is just I don't know it's very freeing it's very liberating and um the sensation I feel I don't know it feels just as good as jumping out of a plane to me in a way um I found that a lot of the experiences I was searching for all stemmed from kind of like the sensations I I really got into like um slapping like face slapping because the the tingle not like too hard I don't love pain I'm not a I'm not into sadism or masochism I don't enjoy bleeding or being bruised but you know floggers and feathers or just um a slap like while I'm peeking and about to orgasm I kind of channel that sensation through my body and and it just kind of explodes out of me more powerful I don't know if that makes sense it's almost like you have a very wholesome attitude about sex but you're just a little more adventurous than than a lot of vanilla people might be yeah it sounds like yeah I think that's a good way to put it I think a lot of people do have this kinky side to them and maybe they're scared to let it show um but I think there's a lot more people that are interested in being more adventurous or you know they're they're tired of the mundane relationships or after some time they just get bored for me I think I've always even my first love in high school um he was my second partner but my first real love you know I remember who bought a vibrating [ __ ] ring and I was like this is awesome and I was like 17. you know it was I think my my sexual experiences just continuous continued to get more fun and more kinky and they still are my partner installed this really nice bar above our bed and it has all our chains and ropes hanging from it so I can't really remember the last time he tied me up it's been a while but sometimes I just like grabbing the chain and feeling the coldness of the chain on my skin or you know wrapping my hand with a rope and just I don't know adding these elements to me are visually appealing but also like sensationally it feels good do you think there's anything in your childhood that led you down this path or is it just that you're adventurous yeah yeah it's always instilled this adventurous spirit in us you know they always wanted us to is your is your twin sister similarly in inclined she's not as much um but she did have a threesome before I did which was so inspiring I was like whoa this is my beautiful twin and I couldn't believe it I was like what oh my God this is so hot and it was I watched it all happen I was there they came onto her and it was amazing but anyways yes we are both I think a lot of my friends I surround myself with are very sexual um in tune with our bodies and we love talking about sex you know we've always had this powerful Sisterhood Dynamic me and my sister and I think we've kind of I don't know just kind of use that around us too to create really close groups of friends to this day and yeah we're always talking about sex I mean anal sex um and just yeah oral sex I feel like I do have an oral fixation I love having things in my mouth so oral sex for me is perhaps a kink I mean anything can be a kink these days but uh and then masturbation too is huge for me and that maybe started when I was younger I remember the first time I ever masturbated it was like non-stop I couldn't stop I stayed up all night I didn't actually orgasm or anything but I was just they couldn't stop touching myself in my pajamas um but now I love Mass reading on my way to work I love masturbating while watching TV I love having a vibrator And my partner's like dick in my mouth at the same time like that's like my favorite thing um or just having you know touching myself while I'm getting penetrated I love that I think it's I find it refreshing to hear somebody speak so casually and openly and in such a straightforward way about things that so many of us are secretly thinking and feeling but we're just too repressed to express it I think we're I think we're all very repressed we are actually yeah not all yeah well thank you it's sad uh I even just um at my like jobs like I work at a restaurant or I've worked in bars in the past um I casually kind of mention things with my colleagues about you know this awesome foursome I had or I'll share you know whatever it is um and they're always like whoa like Barbie you're so inspiring on judgment and you look like you're so normal but you're actually really kinky and you have this other deviant side of you and to me it's I think we all kind of have it a little bit and I just like opening people up to it because it's not weird and it shouldn't be repressed I think ultimately we should embrace whatever feels good always how old are you 30. you're 30. do you find you're getting a little more you're pushing the boundaries of of what you're interested in or is it pretty much you're just interested and that's it changing so much I just feel like it's more plateauing a little bit I guess like it comes in waves yeah because it's not like you're going to eventually be into state of masochism and yeah like I've definitely figured out I figured out my boundaries you know I went through a phase since I've been in La you know the last five years or so I dated a lot of people that you know I was pushing my boundaries or I realized once the relationship ended like wait a minute that wasn't that wasn't really enjoyable for me or I didn't really realize it and had to um you know figure it out figure it out in hindsight so I do think I'm a non-monogamous person but I've been in multiple relationships where it was a free-for-all you kind of just did whatever the [ __ ] you wanted and for me that just from the from the beginning like the first day you know I met this guy at a sex party and we started dating and it was just always him [ __ ] other girls on the side you know I was doing whatever I wanted and it was just very it was too much um it gave me a lot of anxiety and we were just building and like falling for each other so I figured out that you know if I ever have a relationship we were falling for each other but you're cheating constantly well yeah exactly but with consent you know I don't like to call it cheating but yeah I've fallen for somebody before I don't ever think about anybody else right well now my partner you know we were pretty monogamous the first year or so but we love to bring women into our relationship so I've never had sex with another dude since we've been dating for three years three and a half years or so um and I'm pretty happy with that like we've had a little bit of group play with a guy but he gets to have other girls but you don't get to have other guys well I think one day I might want that but for now I'm pretty happy I I crave feminine touch mostly and so for me it's it's a pleasure to have a woman in our bedroom and that's what I want right now not to say that one day I won't want a couple and we've and we've talked about it maybe introducing a couple or introducing a guy or you know I think down the road maybe that will happen but for now we kind of stick to just kind of exploring together and and it works for us I would think good communication is key with these kind of relationships it's it's huge I mean that's ultimately what you need with any relationship and that's what my parents always told me too it was communication and uh with him it's really easy because he's so he's just a no judgment Zone and so even I remember when we kind of were in our first year of dating I had a girl's night went out with some girlfriends with dancing super sexy woman came up to me and she just started swaying with me and like our eyes locked and she kissed me and I kissed her back I wanted to kiss her but I felt so guilty afterwards I was like oh my God Hunter's not here you know what am I doing and I called him from the bar sobbing I was like baby I'm so sorry I kissed this really sexy girl and he was like it's okay it's okay like don't worry about it enjoy yourself you know you're still coming home to me right and I was like yeah so it just kind of you know I think it's okay to lean into our sexual desires I think as long as we're open about it and communicate and and share then we'll all be happier it's interesting how different the Dynamics are for your you you guys as a couple to introduce other women that's all cool everyone's fine with that but if you're Marching In all these guys I think it might be a different Dynamic it is and I've had that conversation with him before because it's different it feels different for him too guys get very threatened by it yeah the jealousy comes in swinging and it's like whoa whoa whoa this is a double standard like this isn't fair um but I get it like I'm I'm the the bisexual one I guess to put a label on it and he's I mean sexuality's so fluid but I would consider him more straight um so it makes sense I guess a little bit like I understand his perspective but it's also not fair it bothers me but I think that's why baby steps are important in all relationships I think ultimately uh you know if we just continue respecting each other and being truthful then do whatever we want whatever in a big city like Los Angeles or New York or Chicago will have enough of this kind of community that you'll you could easily meet somebody that's into the same kind of thing yeah the community's huge I mean like I mentioned before that fat life was a great way for me to meet like-minded people field is like a really great dating app for couples I went through a phase of you know really loving just being with couples and being there like plaything their unicorn for the night um but yeah I mean there was like WhatsApp groups now there's Discord groups I mean Kik groups it's just like once you meet people you're just kind of and I guess it's maybe easier for me being an attractive woman but I feel like when I got here and just met a few people it was like whoa all these doors were just opening I could go to any like sex party any weekend I wanted or all these cool Dungeons and clubs that were throwing all these awesome parties and it was just like play time I just always was like oh let's go play you know and sometimes I wouldn't have sex sometimes I would just enjoy myself or watch I I think I guess on the topic of fetishes that's another one I love to be a warrior exhibitionism too I love to be seen um but I also just love enjoying people and seeing what they're into and my curiosity and my imagination just runs wild and having all these interactions with people you that you just met you may never see again does it ever leave you just like empty or at the end of the night you're like what am I doing yeah there's been moments I think there's also been parties that haven't felt as good as others uh yeah and I remember questioning like how these people were serving me and my like I suppose my everyday life and if they were connections that yeah I guess were benefiting me and I I continue to do that with just my friendships I think it's good to analyze all of your relationships but yeah of course when some people are just after sex I think it's hard not to feel a little bit lonely in your thoughts when you're like wait a minute am I pimping myself out or is this am I disrespecting my body But ultimately I kind of realize that you just have to you know you have to find the right people and it all has to do with energy and I guess I keep saying respect but it's just in communication and I think once you find those people that are into it as much as you are I think also now I'm not going to sex parties every weekend like that was maybe like the younger me but um you know we still enjoy a little bit of Kink and a little bit of play time um so I think it's just also finding that balance with where you are at in life and feeling pretty good is there any chance that maybe you're replacing the risk and the danger of of a real romantic connection with someone where you might get your heart broken you might be disappointed terribly with all these little interludes that are just like fun fun distractions but it will never amount to anything substantial [Music] previously when I think you could feel very empty after a few weekends of that yeah I think there was a phase where I was a bit lost and I was um at this time also dating like a sadist so he was super into like beating me and punishing me and so I think I just didn't understand where my boundaries were and I think I was doing it so much you know that was my my lifestyle essentially it was just instead of going out to the bar I was going to sex parties on the weekends and so yeah you're not wrong there's definitely because when love hits you it's a miracle right nothing else like it right and having sex with a bunch of random people every weekend or every week or whatever is is not a replacement yeah at least for me it was yeah it wasn't essentially what I enjoyed long term but I do think it created this energy within me that still is flourishing with my partnership now and I do feel like I found the love of my life now and he welcomes like this side of me um and he wants to continue exploring and growing our sexuality together and so it feels not everyone we're very we're very cautious of what we bring in now I there's also like crazy STIs and STDs right now I don't know if you're aware of this I'm not ever since covid like people weren't going to the doctors and people weren't getting their check-ins because you know it just wasn't as available and there was just this huge like Bloom of STDs and there were a few sex parties that we were invited to but we didn't go where you know it's just like little ones where you can just take a pill and it goes away but still it's like you know you don't want it right so it's it makes me a little bit more cautious and um picky and just aware that that's out there but of course when you're having sex you just have to be aware that that's a possibility just like when you have anal sex you have to be aware maybe some poop will come out so but after all these experiences you've had these Adventures sexual Adventures what would you say is the most important thing you've learned about yourself about relationships about love good question boundaries I think was a huge one um you know there's been multiple times where I've felt my boundaries were crossed but maybe because of some of those situations I wasn't really able to understand my own boundaries or even voice them because because I don't know why I didn't just I didn't know or you know sometimes when you're put in an uncomfortable situation where you thought it would feel good but then it doesn't you get like numb and you just kind of retreat so I think for me I've been in some situations which is sexual assault or um just uncomfortable situations where people didn't ask my consent before they slapped me or before they did certain things and it just really made me realize that it's important I mean I guess communication too it's just important to to know your boundaries and what and what you're comfortable with and voice those to your sexual partners to let them know and you might not always know ahead of time but I think as I've gotten older and the more sex I've had and the more experiences I've had I've realized that it's it's just really important to know those limits and and welcome them and not be afraid like just because this person is able to [ __ ] a new person every week doesn't mean that you have to be you know I think I just like Dove head first into this lifestyle and now like in hindsight it's like okay there's little bits and pieces of it that I really want to use for the rest of my life with my partnership but also you know there's also ways to do it that are healthier for me or that feel make me feel better did you ever feel like you're being disrespected or objectified and you're just like something to be used I don't mean to be approved but it's like you know sometimes it's just for especially for a female you're just you're there for you're there for one thing nobody really cares about your heart they're just yeah it's more about the pleasure um which is why I kind of call it playtime for me I guess I can separate sex as more of um a pleasurable just so it just be for the orgasm you know I'm I guess more as a man in that way because I can just have sex and not have like a connection intimate or yeah a deep connection like I can just want to [ __ ] you because you look good or you have this awesome energy or like your shoes you know I don't know that's that's a dumb example but I guess you get you know what I mean but yeah there has been there have been times there was a there was a time when I was at a party and I was giving my friend a head and this guy was behind me and he was like coming up to like put himself in me and my friend was like whoa whoa whoa aren't you gonna ask her permission first and I like looked back and there was this guy standing there that I didn't know so yeah it's it's sad to think that some people see me and want to use me as this whole that they can penetrate but and that ruined I mean I was the vibe ruined ruined my vibe for the rest of that night but of course you're always going to meet some people that are disrespectful and that only see you as an object but I think as long as I see myself as more than that and I know what I'm signing up for and why I'm here and why it feels good and you're just having some fun yeah I'm just having fun ultimately exactly have you ever had a someone you've fallen in love with and you just want to be with them and no one else yeah I mean I guess I was in a few a few monogamous relationships before like in college and in high school um it's hard for me to imagine because I really love women and female bodies and so I don't know maybe I'll end up with a woman someday but I'm pretty madly in love with my current partner and he's a male I don't know I guess I like the fantasy of having a core man and then also having um a woman so The Best of Both Worlds yeah I guess I do want The Best of Both Worlds but I also think that maybe that'll go away I don't know I don't know I guess I'm just open to whatever feels good and as long as like if my partner came to me tomorrow and was like listen I don't wanna I don't want us to be with other people then yeah I'd probably say okay like I love you so much yeah of course but I think with both of us um we both love it I mean who wouldn't for him anyways who wouldn't love it you got like these two beautiful women in your bed but it's usually I mean I'm the queen so I remind him of that too you know it's all about my pleasure this is about me of course I care about your pleasure too but ultimately this is something that yeah we want it together but I'm curating the experience and I like that he always treats me with respect and always um treats me as the queen that's important yeah that's the key all right Barbie Jean thank you so much for sharing thank you I appreciate you thank you very much

Channel: Soft White Underbelly

Views: 1,198,568

Keywords: soft white underbelly, swu

Id: hHTOidin3x8

Length: 32min 52sec (1972 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 11 2023