Fate/Stay Night UBW Abridged - Ep8: Caster Away

the following is a fan-based parody unlimited blade works and related materials belong to the people on the screen please support the official release where is it where is it where is that lesser braille i wasn't expecting a gold shrine or anything but come on lover i am having the worst day right now you don't mind if i vent for a bit you're so sweet what did i ever do to deserve a servant like you killed hundreds forced me against my will threatened friends oh yes that's right and look how it all paid off get bent oh honey if one of us is bent it's most certainly not me and frankly i rather like you this way but if you'd hurry up and stop resisting my command seals we could move our relationship along to the next level you won't get away with this someone who will stop you lover come now by now you must have realized nothing can stop me there is nothing and no one in this world who stands above me none are capable of distracting me from reaching deep inside of you and taking you hello dear am i interrupting something cutie zucchini i'm so happy to see you if i knew you were going to stop by i'd have cleaned up the place i drifted here through corridors of unrest and instinct my mind's eye gleam shattered vestiges of a consecrated church stolen and gutted okay also strictly dancing was on last night and you didn't show up to watch it i thought you were either dead or won the war oh did you record it yes dude did you watch it without me no dear thank god so have we won the murder competition yet not yet honey bunch but i did steal lover and killed the practitioner thank god i hate rules where's his body oh his body where is his corpse honey bunch surely you possess his inert cadaver oh uh ice i suppose i don't know isn't that okay he must be dead well i'm convinced what's our next move then little sparrow simple daddy hawk we break lover use her noble phantasm to vaporize that brutish heracles and refill the grail to our heart's content the end of this war is upon us but first where is that you checked the lectern yes i checked the [Music] to the letters forever oh did i fall asleep i know you haven't slept since saber was taken but i highly discourage collapsing on the edge of a castor servant's territory that's fair hey did you make this coat yeah i can make coats so what and they're made of cashmere i can make casual not a big deal hey archer what's your name hmm are you asking what i think you're asking could you tell me your true name i never asked properly i thought i was lucifer or satan or whatever version of the devil you feel like yelling at me if the past few days have taught me anything it's that i can be hard-headed so i re-evaluated some things and realized that the grail probably can't summon lucifer not normally anyways so who are you i don't uh i don't remember you don't remember i have amnesia i guess oh yeah yeah oh yeah yep so when you called your noble phantasms and yelled the name of khalid bog when fighting caster and did all your mage crabs that was all that we should do aha c khaled bolg so i must be fergus mcroesch mystery solved except if that were the case you'd be the foster father of kukulen who didn't recognize you so god rat looks like we're back at square one and we almost had it too oh yeah yes looks like there was a fight here kirei must be dead we can only hope ah probably not though he's like actually one of the toughest people alive i know i recommend against this a lot so don't take it lightly i think we should carpet bomb the church if kira is gone we could take out caster and kuzuki easily that way and if kirei's not gone we could take out caster kuzuki and kirei easily that way if we did that paper would get killed gonna be kind of hard to reunite shiron baber if there's no baber don't you think they're mr memory half reunite them tell me you're kidding we talked about this rin because i slept on it and got over being angry and realized something archer i like being around shiro you read me no no no no you listen to me i think shiro's a good person a dumb person but a good guy i trust hero emia because i know he'd never betray me he's proven to me i can trust him in fact being around him makes me feel grounded and mutually dependent upon i trust shiro emiya hey why do you have amnesia mommy why is that sword man bleeding so much because he doesn't have a sense of his own limits and compulsively has to help others sweetie now come along before he offers you candy i hope his journey nears its completion philippines trying to psychoanalyze you in the streets where are they when the sky opens up and how fire starts pouring out not digging orphans out of fire that's for sure case boy this town needs a hero okay came here to ask the priest for advice stumbled onto something way different was that rain are you going to bore me to death with these meaningless threats or is telling stories your only useful skill i must say if you're casting a sleep spell it's starting to work huh what doing the tiger mom how dare she try to loot saber are you bored so sorry i'm just granting you the final moments deserved by a calf about to be slaughtered see that that's the thing you said when i said that i was bluffing are you bluffing hey archer you can take out kuzuki right it should be no problem for a servant to defeat a human that said and while you're taking on kuzuki leave smackdown on our resident witch ah of course it should be no problem for a human to defeat a servant silly me oh how sweet this will be just the four of us with archer announcing himself up front instead of making a sudden mid-scene appearance i do love it when everything is so predictable you just stay comfortable over there babe she poisoned the dress i'm in constant pain not a problem i'll put her down come over there and suck the poison out of your body myself consider it your reward for that crazy magic resistance you have if you can kill her you can do whatever you want just get me out of this thing then let's get to it time to teach her the meaning [Music] oops my hands slipped that was not the plan [Applause] [Music] oops my whole body and sword slipped a two archer tay so compromised though hmm i thought you couldn't stand caster we talked about this i guess i slept on it and got over being angry or something like that anyways castor i'm not going to be an easy sail but i have a couple questions for you you claim that with saber under your control you could defeat berserker right of course i observed a partial deployment of her noble phantasm before with enough mana she can obliterate most or all of berserker's resurrections well then i guess i'm an easy sail after all i owe you an apology it's that fast you're betraying me what the [ __ ] man archer i can't let you do this if you turn to her side i'll use my last command seal too then do it don't waste my time trying to intimidate me girl if you've got it in you to command me to kill myself then shut your mouth and put me down i'm not interested in watching you work up to another smart move only to back down when the hardest part is in front of you you can't tolerate me fine then do it but that's what i thought maybe one day you'll grow up to become a decisive powerful mage but right now the difference between us is like night and day i'm squashing this spider once and for all oh this is too rich not only did i steal lover from you but your archer as well right archer tell me so that i can trust you what is your wish and what is your true name don't got one don't know it come again he doesn't have a wish supposedly and he says he has amnesia yeah pretty stupid right he's so obviously lying pardon my skepticism but you're betraying your previous master to side with someone whose methods you can't stand so that you can achieve a non-existent wish i could just kill you if you don't like this rulebreaker the evening bell tolls young lady put up your dainty dukes and prepare for entropy hold [Music] right now it's big dumb hero time hey stop making those come on you still got a massive hole in your chest that was certainly fun i'm happy to supply more enemies if you want to keep exhausting yourself caster why don't you set them free for now that wasn't our deal i have altered the deal at this point the only servants not under your control are lancer and berserker even if they sided with these two they wouldn't be any more threatening let these children stew in their regret for having lost their war here and succumbed to despair as they realized they couldn't even help a single person oh i like new evil archer where's this been what can i say i guess this is just me freed from a certain ball and chain i should have used that first command seal to make you obey everything i said huh would have been nice to have an obedient servant i'm relatively confident literally nothing would have been different i'm in a giving mood today you two are free to go of course if we see you again you'll be dead my thoughts exactly fine we're going i'm disappointed in you archer i finally realized that you aren't lucifer only to find out you really are the devil [Music] let's find a hill to do what i don't know to bury you on i figured you seemed so determined to die that we might as well save everyone the trouble and just stick you in the crowd you're just speaking out a hurt yeah the herd in my stomach from being slapped across the church basement that hurt in my pride for having lost baber and archer to that grecian husty and the herd in my heart from some [ __ ] trying to yeah let's just find a field girl why do we need a field because if anyone hears me say what i want to say i'm going to kill myself and anyone around me okay let's find a hill all right so scold away i know i deserve it you're stupid i am you're reckless yes you're dumb same as stupid but you got me you're you're stupid close frankly you're throwing softballs here you know when this all started i just wanted the cup and like last war i bumped into a master by accident and almost took them down and i was like six so like i thought it'd be kind of easy it all seemed like fun and games and then you happened and archer kept telling me i had to kill you and he's right isn't he i can't do anything hard same i thought i'd have a chance to prove i could be a hero but like my dad said it turned out to be complicated then archer threw a wrench into things with his hitler talk i know it's not right to try and throw my life away for others but i just can't accept that it's wrong either even though i tried so hard to make you go away yeah you didn't account for my million complexes though i'm irrational i'm short-sighted i've got tunnel vision when people are in danger i'm in love i have the self-awareness of a pineapple whoa hold on stop the confession train in love with who what baber sakura archer cause if it's archer i got some really awkward news oh my god no no no no no no no i i i like you i i like you was this a bad time back on the rooftop you yelled that you liked me i'd also [ __ ] you anyways which still stands i thought you knew can i rewind by 20 seconds please think i've misread what's going on here i've tried to kill you twice let us into a trap that lost your servant and berated you since we started working together why in the world would you wait okay so here's the thing about love you ready for this it's kind of stupid like really stupid i'm also pretty stupid so i'm kind of just steering into it at this point besides you're a hard worker you're endlessly passionate you call me out of my nonsense which is something i probably need besides who doesn't want a woman who can kick their ass and this might sound weird or rude because i'm me and this probably sounds more suave in my head but you have an ass that countries would go to war over like oh my god it's just ugh get out of here with that thing if helen of troy were a butt that's where she'd be 100 maximum no chill more like 100 maximum thick uh too much why'd you stop talking i assumed you weren't done oh i could go on you can see that thing from space thigh gap at all if the human race could mathematically calculate an equation for bliss it'd be eyes over that booty equal you know i've been confessed to by a lot of guys and my fair share of girls but i think that might be the best one i've heard i guess i give up you win i win yeah you beat me shiro emiya you have defeated rin tosaka thoroughly and completely but i'm not gonna let you kill yourself you got that i called dibs remember you're mine no pink or purple-haired [ __ ] from ancient greece gets you your property of rin tosaka as of this moment so you're okay with unlimited comments about your butt [ __ ] i know what i got you go hard i haven't turned every inch of this place i've opened every cask flipped every table drained the many bottles of wine and i don't even want to know what the priest was doing with that room full of emaciated orphans just where is the lesser grail the lesser grail is in ilious von einsburn the master of berserker the same after the second holy grail war certain rules were revisited and enforced due to a certain killing spree in particular the owns burns observed that the grail needed to be better protected so its vessel wouldn't be stolen from the third war in forward they offered up homunculi to serve as the vessel for the lesser grail until four or five servants die total ilius veal will remain active and pre-programmed to protect the ritual against sabotage you are just a wellspring of information does rain also know this then nah she rarely ever asked my opinion on anything and when it was offered generally ignored it if we'd acted as i saw fit i'm confident that you shiro saber and assassin would all be gone goodness i think i believe you why don't you incentivize me to be helpful in the future master tell me a bit about yourself soichiro kuzuki is not a mage just a lethal weapon whatever happened to your original master did you eat them you ate them didn't you do you want the short version or the long version a bridget for me i was summoned then he mocked and slapped me so i burned his lab and freed his orphans okay i changed my mind at freed his orphans i want the long version all right well buckle in i'll try to hit the important beats how wonderful life is now you're in the world welcome medea princess of caucus we are competing in a holy grail war uh are you familiar with the concept holy grail war killing death ritual you do speak japanese don't you i do master i am pleased to form my contract oh right that's about enough small talk i think let's get down to summoning that dragon dragon you know the one without the fleece throwing on the floor and summon up that caulkish dragon baby you know you want to is this room's big enough for that dragon right i don't know the size i'm sorry master but i don't have the means to make use of the argon coin as a noble phantasm oh you hear that girls can't even summon a dragon [Laughter] princess princess you are on the fast track to slap city yeah see this [ __ ] state-of-the-art modern mage trap baby orphans go in ether crystals come out ever heard of the toe soccer jewel magic get ready for that to be a thing of the past time for a demonstration ah that's the result of um six human lives crazy right doesn't that get you in the mood to summon a phantasmal beast of the winged draconian variety this [ __ ] is top-notch medina so we won't be needing any of that high-level mage craft of yours you read me i mean look at this thing and look at all those orphans that's some ballin openstack right there toe sucker more like toes suck my dick ick what is that thing this it's the residual mana in and around this lifeless kiln impossible sorry to cut in but he summoned a caster got upset when his non-rider servant wasn't able to summon a dragon that their legend never actually mentioned them summoning or controlling then got upset when you a caster could perform magecraft better than he could yes he seemed rather shocked that i princess medea was able to do the thing i was summoned because i can do i'm starting to see why he's not around anymore tell me honestly did you eat him i assume you mean his soul i'll rush to the point he got scared slapped me did something at the church with a letter as i recently found out i burned his lab freed myself with rule breaker freed the orphans and then when he got mad i trapped him in a nightmarish labyrinth within his mind while his body burned to a crisp and then you ate his soul i may have desperately needed mana without a master but there is no way i was consuming that man's essence i don't put things in my mouth if i don't know where they've been seems like a waste oh and then the good part happened wait you're not done there i lay without mana upon the ground rain beating down on my body as life slipped away and an angel appeared suddenly to rescue me okay he took me to his temple for he was a man of discipline and spirituality i said to him weekly oh sir you need not take pity upon this poor malcontent i am but a humble girl trying to find her way in this crazy topsy-turvy world then he gave me a loving look and said madam sweet mistreated soul i shall aid you however i may that you may find a spark of happiness until the end of my days yeah that's totally how koozaki talks and then i extracted mama from him and our beautiful relationship began so tell me when you extracted mana did you go the blood route or the berry white route good sir how dare you imply that i a refined princess and reserved lady totally got the pounding i so thoroughly deserved after dealing with that disgusting man atrium what kind of name is that aetro what is he a house gotta love mona transfers blood's efficient and souls are sweet but when you need to give a servant mana in a hurry nothing seems to be banging it out archer come to kill me whoa now i used the door so you knew i wasn't trying to kill you i can walk through walls apologies i assume everyone who enters a room alone with me is there to kill me even students yes the first student to come to class every day is rather terrifying it was usually emia or tosaka funny enough perhaps it's destiny they are now my enemy ah funny so i was just talking to caster about her past master and it got me thinking you seem like a man with a story what would it take to get you to spill the narrative beans why the interest in our past let's just say i'm stating some old curiosities i see well prepare yourself for a riveting story then a dip into a dark pool so deep you may get swallowed up entirely you're getting me all excited over here you see my story starts like most i was born at a young age and soon after grew with age i was part of an assassin organization that trained me to be a lethal weapon i met a teacher in an elevator one time and reactively snapped his neck as his life slipped away that's when i learned i didn't like people entering rooms alone with me i thought it would be very secret agent of me to take his name and job so i became kazuki yamashiro in that dead man's place i was deployed soon after tofuyuki where i took on his role but since i had no teaching skills i just spoke like i was a teacher until they gave me a job as a drama teacher so the way you talk at school is that's how you think people talk that's you blending in it took me four years to realize people didn't talk that way but by that point that was my thing i was the scary drama guy i steered into it why were you deployed to the school mr yama yep kuzuki you're not going to believe this there was a high ranking target with mafia connections i was sent to observe someone linked to a famous mage killer a renowned swordsman and kendo practitioner and well-connected wellspring of youth and energy tiger you were sent to kill tiger fujimora you an assassin trained to such a degree that you can fight servants under the right conditions arguably one of the most dangerous people on the planet among non-mages were sent to kill taiga fujimora it may seem silly but she's dangerous there's no lie here my superiors claim that if she were dropped on a third world country aim to destroy them she would kill one-third inspire one-third and teach the other third math ah math is dangerous in the wrong hands i see so then you got involved with castor and now you're involved in a holy grail war why's that i suppose i might have some attraction to this objective mechanical competition it is thoughtless i do not believe in good or evil right or wrong so to fight a colorless battle you've got a crush on medea yeah what's this now sorry what you want to get your smooch on with the pointy-eared foreign exchange student come on we're both guys tell me i'm wrong well i think it's more complicated than maybe i don't know who's asking i heard you already got it on with her once you dog she needed mana yeah she did this is inappropriate yup totally lucky for me we don't have an hr manager for me to get reported to caster saw to that you sure you're not here to kill me because i'm feeling very attacked right now you ready for me to blow your mind ever heard of a manic pixie dream girl you can't be saying that medea is a you are a manic pixie dream girl medea unknowingly needs you to help push her pursuit of her own happiness and in doing so you enable her to not graduate beyond her own immaturities and biases you abandoned your own pursuit of happiness so she could be happy you may not be manic you may not be a pixie you may not be a girl but you soy chiro kuzuki are a manic pixie dream girl in a suit and dress shoes wow i think i need to go outside i am a manic pixie dream girl yep hey i guess that makes you kate winslet this is the most alive i've ever felt that is upsetting if true and around the trunk and the wrap goes into the hole and there i may not be curey but i can tie a bandage like no one's business you did replace my whole heart using that pendant that one time yeah hey that took 10 actual years of mana and could have been used like a small-scale noble phantasm so maybe we don't talk about that wasteful night ever again you got it hey uh do we have to do nicknames until caster and kuzuki are out of our lives i don't even want to think about nicknames speaking of i think it's time we focus on what we're going to do about them yeah our only option is a sneak attacker or something right good idea good idea counter idea tomorrow we're gonna head to the einsburn castle oh yeah of course why though cause we need berserker oh yeah berserker the one who tried to kill us in the streets an archer nuked and whose master can make little mini mages that fought you to a standstill and would threaten me in the street that first night yeah we're gonna go ask for their help of course hey hey reen sorry for the outburst but i thought i was the suicidal one welcome to season two production on episode nine is already underway if you would like to see behind the scenes footage of actors recording episodes being made early or early previews of scenes please consider supporting our patreon we also have a weekly d show on saturdays called vestige of a fucus and a bi-weekly devil may cry inspired dnd show on thursdays called devils might surrender which you can find on the twitch channel nat 19 official it's becoming quite the spectacle finally thank you to all of our patrons your patience with us has been phenomenal and we can't express how much we appreciate it in particular we'd like to thank our one hundred dollar patrons that luzon video gamer 75 ben meltzer krenko the assassin bandit and marius ploska thank you very much well back to sitting down for hours i go oh a cricket think shiro

Channel: Project Mouthwash

Views: 301,507

Rating: 4.9809666 out of 5

Keywords: Voice, Acting, Horizon, In, The, Middle, Of, Nowhere, Fate, Zero, Stay, Night, Bleach, Transformers, Animation, Dubbing, Let's, Play, Parody, Satire, Season, Comedy, Characterization, Unlimited, Blade, Works, Digimon, Adventure, Abridged, Tri, Actually, Satan, Patreon

Id: CQNg2PLk5uU

Length: 32min 26sec (1946 seconds)

Published: Mon May 24 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/assassinshogun307]

"I am a manic pixie dream girl." -Kuzuki Souichiro, 2004

Also Tohsaka may have a defenseless anus, but it is 100% Maximum Thicc.

[u/KingofGrapes7]

Kuzuki's organization foresaw the calamity of Taiga long before she became a Servant.

Rin's ass is a Noble Phantasm and I applaud Shirou for saying it out loud.

On a more minor note I find it especially funny that Shirou has been doing his Hero thing so long that the general population of Fuyuki has him figured out.

[u/JusticTheCubone]

Probably the horniest episode yet, and I'm 100% fine with it.

The writing in this just feels like it's getting better and better. The wait definitely paid off.

[u/RadiReturns21]

Honestly while Abridged Rin & Shirou etc are fun, Archer just steals the show for me. His lines are a lot more meaningful/ominous from a meta standpoint, which as a simp fan is a lot more fun to latch onto rather than surface-level statements.

Him also having vague recollections of 'his' route and prior relationships with the characters (his mention of Taiga here, for example) also really adds to the narrative in an enjoyable way.

[u/SuperKamiZuma]

That last second "THINK SHIROU" got me hard. What, are you telling me the caster that might never had any relation to summoning dragons, can't summon a dragon, and can do magic crystals with the mana of the air? No way!

[u/Kirby0189]

Shirou sure is a cultured man.

[u/Silafante]

I mean I do agree on the butt thing...

I would personally would be a bit more subtle but it seems Rin prefers otherwise. Good for her.

[u/corranhorn57]

Not going to lie, I honestly thought they were going to skip a lot of Medea’s backstory and just keep everything’s the church. I honestly forgot a lot of other things happen between Archer defecting and Rin and Shirou teaming up with Lancer.

[u/MysteriousResearcher]

Broken People finding love with other Broken People.

Just like Fate intended