Family living with Autism: Meet the Asners

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This title is really a bit too much but I feel bad for the daughter.

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Jul 23 2017 🗫︎ replies

Were you trying to be a racist, abliest piece of shit or something bro?

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/StrawberryMochiMouth 📅︎︎ Mar 20 2022 🗫︎ replies
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You have to be the most patient human being on earth to have a special needs child. Each one of the kids has some deficit in learning. Some of the kids have severe ADHD. Some of them have real true Autism. Each one of my kids has a little taste of something. Dad I'm a teenager and I don't want to get looked at by you. And both of Matt's children are on the Spectrum. We have all admitted that. When I met Matt I had four kids and he had two. The first month we were together that somebody said, "You guys are the Brady Bunch of Autism." And that stuck... it really stuck. We're here in San Fernando Valley which is centrally located for all of our kids. This year we have six children in six different schools. But we have black mold and so we have to relocate. Our issue that's really been a complicated one is finding a house that can accommodate a family of eight and still be reasonably affordable. Will do you have a jacket? Yeah in my room I have a leather one. I look like an actual man in this. We're missing the two bigger boys this weekend. And Jake might be in town this afternoon we're hoping. But Max is in Sacramento with his debate team. On top of our move that's going on my mum had a stroke four days ago. I've been going back and forward to Orange County. So I'm living on pure crack right now. I'm kidding about that. That's why we're moving right there. Yeah we have black mold. There was a deep crease and we saw black underneath it. You could tell the crease was really deep. And it's just gotten worse and worse. A long term affect of the mold is swollen glands. It's hard to be an effective mum when you're tired all the time. I couldn't imagine anything could be more stressful than last year with my dad passing but this has really topped it. Time is not on our side so we are really rushing this move. There are different levels and we have one of each. There are many beautiful things about Autism. Many beautiful, wonderful and gorgeous things about Autism. But the very stark reality is that it's going to put some massive hurdles in front of the develop of your child. And that's something that is not beautiful. (Will) I don't like when people just stare at me. When there's a diagnosis you mourn what your dreams were. There are certain dreams that you have for Eddy. And certain dreams that we had for Will. For Wolf there are dreams we have. You have to mourn your preconceived desires for your own child. Then morph it into pushing them in the areas of where they want to be. My life was fundamentally changed when Will was diagnosed. This is kind of personal you guys but I have a crush. Her name's Isabella and she's in 8th grade. She likes me. She comes up to give me a hug. I'm fine with it. Dad please stop staring at me it creeps me out. I love you and I'm enjoying hearing this. No! (Matt) There is something beautiful about the individual with Autism. They're unique souls that often have insights into the world where we live. It's incredible. I love sitting and talking with them and interacting with them. I think I might have a little bit of it myself. (Matt) Are you a gentleman with her? (Will) Yeah Dad why do you care? (Matt) Because you're my son and I want you to be a gentleman. I hold the door open for ladies that's a gentleman. I help Nana out of the car that's a gentleman. (Matt) There's just a world in there that I want to access and be a part of. I can be a ballerina want to watch? I can do a 360 turn. Sometimes it can get hectic and I try to ignore the drama of... "We should get this house." "No we should get this house." Blah blah blah... I cover my ears and forget about it. A person who has high functioning Autism is called Asperger's right? (Matt) I think now Autism is the all encompassing thing. Wolf will tell people to their face, "Oh I have Autism." He's what would have classically been labelled Asperger's when they were labelling people with Asperger's. I've been trying to get straight A's every single year in school. And so far I've done well at that. Even though last term I got all A's except a B+. (Navah) I know what his issues are already. Cognitively Wolfy is off the charts. There are a lot of things that I struggle with. One thing is a lot of times I can get extremely frustrated to the point where I will stand up, flip over, turn and walk out of the classroom. We don't want to leave this hair dye on much longer. Let's leave it on for another ten minutes. I found out about hair dying and it's really cool. I've seen it on You Tube and people do a video of dying their hair blue, red, purple or green. And I thought I want to try that. I see myself as I wouldn't say the popular kid. Being popular is not really what I want. I just want to be respected. And have someone to turn to if I'm feeling down or struggling. I have lots of responsibilities being the older sister. I'm always forced to stay in during the weekends and have to watch Eddy or something. (Navah) Okay everyone stay with Avivah she's in charge. I can see the stress of having kids in our family with slight disabilities. It does put the pressure on with having to find schools, extra help and having to tend to their food needs. It's tough but I know Matt and my mum's love is stronger than that. I feel that even though they have such hardships it will improve their relationship in the end and make them stronger. Eddy put your toe in between here, no, no, there we're good. The slight chance of me having a child with Autism I feel that I will definitely love them the same as any other child I would have. It's scary the fact that your child could be a little different from everyone else. But in the end we're all a little bit different than each other and so I feel I will just love them as much as anyone else, I guess. (Eddy) That is not cool. (Avivah) I'm not trying to be cool. (Edwin) Is it hot? (Navah) Yeah jump in. (Edwin) I love being in the pool. (Navah) I know you love being in the pool it's your favourite thing. Eddy he can be in the pool all the year round. Even if it's 30 degrees out, he will be in the pool with a wetsuit on. Thankfully Grandpa Ed lives only a few miles away so we are in his pool 1-2 times a week thankfully. Eddy has a very common condition, he has no cap for fullness. So he could eat a huge meal and then he'd say... "I'm hungry," or "What are we going to eat next?" He's seven years old and he weighs 120 pounds. He's a big guy. Can you get me a cookie? (Navah) I know you want many cookies Eddy. First do some more exercise before you get your next cookie. (Navah) I was the parent that if my child started crying I would pick him up and leave the room I was polite and I wouldn't allow my kid to be a brat. But this isn't being a brat. And anything can trigger them. I'd take him into the grocery store and I didn't realize that... fluorescent lights are a trigger for a lot of Autistic kids. And because of these tantrums I was terrified to take him alone into the store. Eventually as I became more confident and started to work with Autism Speaks. It's funny, Matt was hired to Autism Speaks the month before Edwin was diagnosed. My brother who had been friends with Matt for decades he said to me, "Call my friend Matt, he's just been hired to this wonderful organisation I know he can help you and give you advice." The first thing Matt said to me was, "Join a mum's support group, talk to these mums who can give you advice." He said, "I don't really know how to give you advice that these mums can." "I'll just tell you that you're going through the hardest time in your journey and it is going to get better." One of the hardest issues that special needs parents have is finding a good support system and a good team. For me is was very difficult, I'm absolutely a Jewish paranoid mum and to really trust somebody with my child. We've been blessed with this wonderful friend of ours I use to work with him and he's really qualified. But we need two of him. (Will) Look at this that's hard. Let's take a look okay. I come in and work with Will helping out with homework and getting to and from places. One thing I do is support the family. It's fun. Will has grown about three feet since I met him (laughs). I work with Eddy as well, and hang out with them. The main focus is helping Will with his homework. Mike is excellent for Will. In the next month I'm supposed to be working full time again. So now we're down to the wire of looking for somebody for Eddy because Mike is starting to work more and he won't have as much time. Not only is he not going to relocate us but we have to pay for the month of March even though we are not going to be here. Or else we have to be vacated by three days from now. I don't want the kids to see this though. They did say that was the next step so c'est la vie. What I didn't agree with my parents is that dad would say, "Okay we're having a family meeting." He'd get all us kids together and tell us exactly the gravity of our situation. And literally my anxiety started then. "The sun is up the surf is up and so is the Paskowitz family." "Today as everyday they are going surfing." My mum had eight brothers and I and the majority of our life was spent in a caravan going around the United States. "Mr Paskowitz is a 58 year old doctor and a graduate of Stanford Medical School who one decided to give it all up close his medical practice, take his children out of school and spend the rest of his life travelling with his family in a tiny camper from one wave to another." My dad was a very chauvinistic... ...very ego centric guy. And he expected my mum to be very subservient and quiet and not speak back to him. And I was the polar opposite of that. They use to call me the "Angry Indian." When I was about 13 my mum contracted a serious illness. 80% of people who contracted this illness died. And so my dad said to us, you kids have to take care of yourselves... and each other and I'm going to find a cure for mum. There was that period from about 12 to 15 that we were left on our own. I was 12 years old when this first happened. And by the time my parents came back and said okay we're going to be parents again. We said no our childhood is pretty much over. I'm instinctively made to handle a lot of... a lot. My childhood has really brought me to the place I am today and am able to exist and not go insane and not take large doses of Xanax every day. (Matt) My dad is a huge figure in our lives. He's very present all the time and so is my mum. People always ask me how my dad is... and I always say, oh my dad's fine he's still complaining. I tell them that when my dad stops complaining that is when I'm really going to be worried. (Ed) I like your butch shirt. (Matt) Thank you it's butch? (Ed) Yeah. (Matt) Dudley's following me around. What was my dad like for me growing up? He was a great role model to me. The best qualities that I have certainly came from him and from my mum. The hardest part about being his son when I was growing up was that he wasn't around much. The one thing that I can say about my parents is very much positive, I had a lot of learning disabilities as a kid and they had the foresight so that I got the helped that I needed and they pushed me in a very positive direction. And I think to that I owe them much. I have no idea what kind of father I was. I really wonder what their mother would say if she had to assess my totality as a father. Where I really find myself up against a wall is with my youngest Charlie who's Autistic. And I constantly "run a wire brush over my body," checking to see how much I've left undone in terms of putting myself out for him. I constantly find myself insufficient there. He's high functioning so that gives you a lot to hope for. Then when he's tested you keep hoping and I think he'll be discovered to be Asperger's. But they said no he's high functioning Autistic. That connection between having two families with Autism in it is what brought my mum and Matt together in the first place. They met in the Autism Speaks Community and that's what led them to be where we are today. It's the fact that they have Autism in their families is what brought them together in the first place. Single mums in my support group say to us... "I dream about having somebody to share my life with... "...but I feel like it's never going to happen to me... "because of my Autistic child." "Just seeing you and Matt and the load that you have, "and yet somehow you have found each other... "...and you have made it work." It gave them hope I think. Autism Speaks started about ten years ago. I have been here almost five years. It's been a great ten years with lots of progress and awareness. And lots of advocacy. They passed insurance legislation in 43 States. They helped pass the Able Act, worked with military families. And that's not even mentioning the science they have done. They have funded more research than the NIH which is astounding. We're having the Walk tomorrow it's on Autism Awareness Day. The Walk is really why I am here. I wandered into a Walk seven years ago as a lost Dad. And my eyes were opened. You learn about things it's an enormous resource fair. It's huge like a hundred plus tables of people who are doing... these crazy innovative things in the Autism world. Wonderful things. And you'll meet a lot of people who are in this for all the right reasons. They are just incredible people. Nevermind being diagnosed the first step is what do I do? How do I find my community and my people? This is the best place to start because everyone is here. So any questions you have they can be answered here. And you find that network, that community. But then you have to navigate that system and sometimes as a parent on your own it's very difficult to understand how to access services. So that's what I do. Unfortunately there are limited resources and so schools aren't too forthright in offering you what your child needs. And that is when you've got to go and find help. (Matt) A lot of families feel that that's the one day of the year they can all get together and kind of let loose and relax and not have to worry. And if there's a meltdown who cares we'll all together on this. And no one's going to look at you strange. It's everyone can come to this place and enjoy it. And not have to worry. (MC) Let's welcome Matt Asner to the stage! Hey everyone how're you doing? Today is Autism Awareness Day. (Crowd) Cheers. I want to say you guys all helped raise today 1.35 million dollars. The LA Walk continues all year long and our goal is a year goal. And we need you to do that with us. Thank you very much you guys are awesome. I guess you guys can take a bow. And you guys can take a bow! We'll see you next year! We don't have a lot of options. We put bids on a few houses that I had a lot of hesitancy about and the one we finally are going to settle on I feel good about it. It's a little more than we wanted to pay but it has an enormous park-like backyard. And when you have five little boys, three with Autism, having enough outdoor space is really paramount. Hopefully you can hear her. (Phone rings) (Navah) Hello? Navah? Matt? Am I on speaker phone? Yeah. Can you take me off speaker phone? Hello? Hi okay... I heard from Lauren... A huh? And unfortunately... Oh... We'll have to go down south a little late on Sunday because we have got to go sign the lease. (Navah) What does that mean? That means we got it! (Navah) Yes! (Laughs) (Navah) Thank God! (Navah) Are you so happy? I am I'm so relieved. (Navah) When did they say we can move? Immediately. (Navah) Oh I am so happy. I can't tell you how happy I am. (Matt) I think we'll have many happy memories there. Alright I love you.
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Channel: Attitude
Views: 786,715
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: AttitudeLive, Disability, Autism, Autistic, Aspergers, Asperger Syndrome, Parenting a child with a disability, Politics and advocacy, Teen life, Love stories, Intellectual disability, My Perfect Family, Meet the Ansers, Autism Spectrum, family with autism, autism family, family with intellectual disability, autism family vlogs, autism spectrum disorder, autism speaks, disability discrimination, what is autism, disability awareness, aspergers syndrome
Id: XNL9YP8PH7M
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Length: 28min 19sec (1699 seconds)
Published: Tue Jul 26 2016
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