FAMILY LIFE 2021 | FAMILY PLANNING | AUGUST 28TH 2021 | 10AM | PASTOR LESLIE MOSES

[Music] so [Music] [Music] so [Music] foreign [Music] so [Music] so [Music] do [Music] there [Music] [Music] so [Music] so [Music] do [Music] do [Music] happy sabbath everyone and welcome to five reverse sdh live stream service we're so thankful to god that we are back together for part three of seven of our 2021 family life cyber series entitled a fresh start a new beginning with god last sabbath pastor morris was on point as he directed us to god's word when he reminded us that in marriage we should not view things as mind or yours but instead as ours we are to be united as one we are to approach all things together with colossians 3 14 as our guide above all things put on love which is the bond of perfection amen we understand that it is imperative that god leads in every decision made within our homes as it relates to having children so today we warmly welcome pastor leslie moses president of the south caribbean conference of sda churches who will speak to us on the topic family planning so please share the link with everyone you know so that all our lives can be greatly enriched bow your heads with me as we pray loving father you are the alpha and omega you said to ask if we ask for wisdom their father we shall receive you shall freely give it to us so this morning your father we ask in a special way through your man servant that you can give us wisdom as it relates to family planning in all our families there god god you know the challenges society faces as it relates to unwanted children so we as your people dear god help us to take wise counsel today be with your man servant pastor moses in a mighty way using their god empower him to reach hearts their father so that we as your people their god can make the best decision as it relates to our children the ones whom you have to entrusted us with so but i thank you i thank you so much in advance for the blessing that you have installed for us today be with everyone involved be with the speaker be with the presenters be with the singers and may your name be glorified through this ministry that is this family life series they're called is our prayer in jesus name amen folks i just want to remind us all that this program is an evangelistic program so please do share the link all it takes is just clicking on whatsapp and sharing this link to all our friends and our families so please do take the time to share the link over to you praise team good morning and welcome back to church we want to welcome our online viewers welcome fiverrs community our online community welcome welcome welcome to church good morning i'm so happy to be in the house of the lord this morning i'm so happy to be in your presence this morning i pray that you worship with us come from near come from falcon from wherever you are bring your bibles bring your hymnals bring your hearts and be blessed the psalm says samuel says in psalm 11 the lord is in his holy temple and the lord is on his heavenly throne let's praise him let's worship him this morning offers him number one praise to the lord the almighty the king of creation [Music] praise through the lord the almighty the king of creation [Music] oh my soul praise him for his thy help in salvation [Music] draw near join me [Music] praise to the lord all things [Music] has [Music] praise to the lord who doth prosper thy work and defended thee praise to the lord who the prosper thy work and defend thee surely his goodness and mercy here daily attend me ponder i knew what the almighty can do [Music] amen continue singing praises to the lord he said if we don't praise him he's gonna command the rocks to cry out right so we're gonna all lift our voices and praise him all creatures of our god and king number two in our adventure seminar [Music] all creatures have your voice with us and sing hallelujah [Music] [Music] oh praise him oh praise him hallelujah [Music] [Music] [Music] oh [Music] praise him hallelujah [Music] oh [Music] oh praise him oh praise [Music] let all things [Music] and worship him in humbleness oh praise him hallelujah oh praise the father praise the son and praise the spirit [Music] [Music] oh yes it's good to give god praise because he inhabits the praise of his people yes when we praise him through our storms when we praise him in the good times and the bad he inhabits our praise and he is pleased so praise god today and then keeping with things all praises we're going to express ourselves and how great god is and because of because of how great he is we praise him daily amen how great thou art [Music] the worlds thy hands have made i see the stars i i hear the rolling thunder thy power throughout the universe displayed then sings my soul my shape your god to be how great the lord [Music] [Music] he is great hallelujah went through the woods and for escalates i wonder and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees when i look down from lofty mountain grandia and hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze then sings my soul my savior god to thee how great [Music] how great good morning good morning again guys listen we had an outage we had a power outage it seemed to be it covered a vast amount of trinidad but you know what there's power in prayer and you know what else there's power in the blood of jesus so right now we want to bring the children we're going to go into our children's sets and those of us who are a little older but they're still a child within us i want to ask you guys to come here bring the children and let's go for our children so we're going to do some hymns and keep the praise going because why there's power in the blood of jesus [Music] you can have your hands everybody grab your hands [Music] there is [Music] oh [Music] [Music] but the thing i love the best the very very best is to know [Music] [Music] buzzing [Music] but the thing i love the best the very very best is to know is to know it's to know that gods love [Music] [Music] but [Music] [Music] jesus love is a bubbling over jesus love is a bubbling over hallelujah all right those of you who need to take a breath like myself you're gonna take that on this top again and i wanna do the actions with you guys yeah you all know the actions you're gonna bubble and keep going what did jesus love right all right let's go again count it them one two one two jesus love jesus love is a bubbling over jesus love is a bubbling over jesus love is [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] [Music] me on the day of fancy cause by a ball on me on the day of fancy cause i have fallen on me if you see me praising by a horn on me [Music] praise the lord hallelujah praise the lord hallelujah [Music] [Music] hallelujah let me hear you praise the lord praise the lord praise give the lord [Music] amen [Music] amen [Music] thank you so much it's good to have fun in the lord amen [Music] good morning boys and girls i welcome you once again to our children's corner mummies and daddies uncles and aunties grannies i know you are with us so welcome and if you are visiting us for the first time we welcome you so welcome to one and to all this morning i'm sitting among some huge rocks along with some smaller ones smell something ah here's what i brought for you girl freshly baked bread wow boys and girls there's nothing like a slice of freshly baked bread the aroma the teeth it is so good you know boys and girls bread has been with us for a very long time the first well-known leaven bread made with east dates way back around 1000 bc in egypt but today we have so many different types of bread we have baggage bread we have chapati bread multigrain bread pita bread rye bread sourdough bread many years ago bread became a staple food when wheat and barley was some of the first plants to be farmed in egypt an excellent source of carbohydrate is found in bread that gives our bodies the energy that we need wait a minute rocks bread energy that reminds me of a bible story listen up boys and girls our father who art in heaven you alone are worthy of all the glory and all the praise please guide me help me to fulfill your will [Music] and here we have the son of god yeshua the christ hungry and thirsty after fasting for 40 days and nights in the desert no sense whatsoever but i have bread i have it hmm there's not enough for you but you're a son of god so the stones are wrong you can turn it to bread [Music] tuna is doing some bread it is written man shall not live by bread alone and by every wheel that comes from the mouth of god [Music] but you're still hungry no all of this that you see can be yours all of it now you say that you want to save the world but you cannot save something that you do not own i am the current ruler of this world if you would just bow down and worship me just this once all of this can be yours behind me satan it is written that you shall only worship the lord your god and only god shall you save [Music] fool son of god i can fly i think by now you see that i can fly can you can you fly i'm sure you can fly we are here up on a height why don't you jump why don't you jump are you afraid your father in heaven will send angels to catch you in case something should happen jump why don't you just jump you shall not tempt the lord your god this is just not making sense but hear what you will get what you deserve but know one thing this is not over [Music] thank you father [Music] boys and girls what a story that old trickster the devil he tried tempting christ but you know christ had hid in his heart the bread of life the word of god the enemy said and he will also try to trick us but once we have the word of god in our hearts once we too feed on that bread of life he has no chance with us so let us remember read our bibles pray every day the word would be hidden in our hearts so let us pray father in heaven we thank you for the bread of life may it enrich our souls day by day and may we always rely and rest upon your world this we pray with thanksgiving in jesus name amen bye boys and girls god is a good god god is a good goal we thank god for being in our presence this morning and just before we share the youth class lesson study i must i must speak about the tune of our worship this morning as early as our song service you know god's name is being praised and glorified and yes we had our power outage but god is a mighty god and look at the the children's story we might just be looking at the two characters jesus and and and the devil but i wanna i wanna big up on gaddafi this morning i do not know where this gentleman gets these places and these equipments and between auntie peggy and on gaddafi with with the the comments that these individuals were on a weekly basis but i think they they outdid themselves today and it's all in glorifying god's name god is a mighty god we serve almighty god we want to go straight into our youth class lesson discussion and we would have studied last week the theme trust like a child trust like a child and the lesson fetia really took us down memory lane and helped us to understand the significance and the importance that jesus places on children shall we pray father be with us as we go through your lesson discussion this morning in jesus name amen you know this storyline came out this week where people were bringing people were bringing little children to jesus for him to place his hands on them but while they were doing that the disciples were upset and the disciples were rebuking these these people because you know they they saw or they felt as if these individuals were disturbing their master jesus how could you be bringing all these set of children to jesus for blessing but the lesson helped us understand the importance and the significance that jesus places on the life of children and youth so he turned to disciples and he said what are you really doing in modern language what are you really doing you don't need to be fussing like that allow these little children to come to me allow their parents to bring them because there are two significant things that came out of the lesson one is that the parents of the children understood that bringing their children to jesus is what it took to ensure that their children would live and grow in the fear of the lord and secondly amidst all the vexing of the of the disciples jesus rebuked them and helped them to understand that listen there's a significant importance that i place on the life of children and even today even today brethren jesus loves the children and parents i want to encourage you to bring your children bring the youth to the lord because it's he and he alone that can help you to bring up your children in the fear of him you know this week's lesson targets a brief encounter between jesus and his disciples and a host of parents and children it was customary to bring a child to a rabbi for a prayer of blessing but the disciples believed that the activity was in vain and really time wasting but ellen white seats but the savior's disciples sought his work too important to be interrupted in this way they thought these children too young to be benefited by a visit to jesus and concluded that he would be displeased at their presence that's what ellen white tells us that that's what the disciples felt that it was putting strain on jesus he had greater things to do and why burden him with these children but brethren jesus redirected redirected those wrong headed ideas into beautiful teaching moment for children for parents and all those who would claim to be followers of christ there were four salient truths four silent truths that that emerged out of this this bible story that spoke to us about the importance and the significance that jesus places on the lives of children one you are never too young to learn about the love of jesus and his matchless character and you know that's it for the youth and i often stand here talk about the fact that youths sometimes believe that they're too young to give their lives in service to god but jesus loves children he loves the youth he loves all the youths of the youth class and all the youths on the stream today and he tried to redirect these thoughts even from the disciples point of view secondly children can teach us and lead us to a closer walk with christ by their simplicity by their trust and dependence on god and you know what the bible speaks about that that we need we need to come to god just as children why you see brethren children depend on their parent children depend on their parents for everything especially the younger children they can't do lots for themselves but they depend on their parent and if we are saying that jesus if we are saying that jesus is our leader if we are saying that god is our provider or parent then we need to become like children and depend on jesus christ thirdly those who obstruct a child or another seekers access to god still up the lord's indignation like nothing else brethren never ex obstructs somebody from coming into contact with jesus especially the youth especially youth i have i have stood in church and i've heard parents say that they don't think that their child or children are ready to accept jesus christ never do that especially if a child comes to you and tells you mom dad i want to serve jesus celebrate glorify god because let me tell you something brethren jesus peace specific interests in the life of children and in the lives of our youth and last but not least jesus loved to be jesus loved be to be in the presence of children jesus loved to be in the presence i could see jesus no preaching on the outskirts preaching to human beings preaching to adults and when a group of children come his way i could see jesus pausing and literally stopping talking to the adults and spending time in the presence of the children he loves children he loves all the youths of our youth class he loves all the youths on this stream today let us continue to seek jesus the episode of blessing the children is more than just a cute story about how jesus loved children jesus taught his disciples about how jesus taught his disciples about humility and dependence using the simple behavior of children and he continues to teach all of us as adults how to love him how to serve him how to depend on him by using the example of children because children depend on their parent and even we as adults and the youth class members need to consistently depend on jesus as our father to take us through our christian walk may god continue to bless you shall we pray father we thank you for allowing us to understand the significance you you place in the life of children and we ask god that we as adults will continue to nurture nurture our children and encourage them encourage the youth of our church and the youth on the stream to continue to serve jesus because he loves them and he loves us unconditionally continue to be with us in jesus name amen amen and amen thank you so much uncle brian happy sabbat everyone and welcome to the other lesson study i have here with me a good brother of mine badalugi welcome thank you alex nice having you and it's a pleasure to be here and a blessing to share this sabbath lesson with you today happy sabbath everyone amen and this morning we want to read from psalms 92 verse 1. it says and it's a favorite psalm of mine and we are discussing this lesson it says it is a good thing to give thanks unto the lord and the sing praises unto thy name almost high and this morning the lesson is titled the rhythms of rest and as we go into this lesson let us invite god's presence here with us let us pray father we thank you for this morning and even for the situation that happened this morning the power outage and you showing yourself strong this morning for us we continue to give you all the praise and all the glory as we go through your world we pray that your holy spirit attend us for christ's sake amen and amen so brother lugi just tell us about the lesson this morning and what this lesson is about very interesting lesson ella casford because the lesson portrays the climax of god's creation amen it shows that unique relationship between god and humanity we discover holiness in time without the hindrance of secular activity and without the boundary of location yes as we delight in his seventh day commandment sabbath we are blessed because we know it according to the memory text which reads then god bless the seventh day and sanctified it because in it he rested from all his work which god had created and made so we note that god blessed sanctified and rested on the seventh day yes it is this cycle of rest that speaks to the team of the lesson the rhythms of rest and as we explore the lesson study further we are presented with god's creativity his god's hope and redemption and how we should rest and might i also add the controversy between evolution and creation amen amen well i love i love that well put well said ella now this morning we talk about sabbath and we go into sabbath and creation and it's so interesting and those of us who are who are bible tribules and scholars we always check and we see that it's so interesting the bible starts with the book of genesis and you know what it didn't start by guessing who's in control it starts with genesis 1 chapter 1 and verse 1 that says in the beginning god created so it shows clearly clearly that we're not guessing about this it starts with that that promise that that foundational truth that god created the heaven and the earth and then the story continues now it talks about light it talks about sky and sea it talks about dry land and vegetation and here it's showing that god in creating this the creation week he started by putting some natural clocks because we're talking about rhythms some of the natural clocks he put in was was was the sun the moon the stars and all these things are in place to say listen we're gonna time and have the rhythms of life and of rest and of everything place there and then on the sixth day he did something special he didn't just spoke and talk and put something in he says he came down himself and he made man and woman with his own hands and formed them and created a special being called a human being and you know what creation was not done as yet they had the other day after that he sanctified and blessed and set apart for us and that and that seventh day was also part of the creation week and it's showing on us that the last day of creation was a blessing it was set apart for god's creatures to have full communion with him and after that sin happened and you know what pain and all this suffering and these things came into being so you know what it presents a showcase that we need this rest now more than ever because of these things happening at this point in time so that here it is that's the literal sexy creation that we believe are seven day adventists and then you are alluding to the fact of the evolution where they were saying that listen they don't believe in the same thing that we believe yes certainly and we believe in the word of god because we know it is true and we have no better example than our lord and savior jesus christ and when the disciples ask jesus to teach them how to pray he begun by saying our father yes so we are not orphans but sons and daughters of the living god amen amen amen you notice this evolution thing really strikes me differently because it happened around the same time with the 1840s with the second the last message that we believe in and the advent message developing here it is that charles darwin is writing his theory at the same time so here is the enemy pressing us to say look there there's this inside of that even at the time when god's final message is coming into the world so it's so interesting that he always produces something different to the truth at the same time when we are here searching for truth and truth is coming out you know what revealing himself so it's so that when god summarizes the laws in the ten commandments it's clear that he included his sabbath for us to rest and to remember that he created us well said elder kassad and what i can add there is that you know we see if it is not written it is not real but here we see that god spoke in the beginning and he went a step further by writing his fourth commandment in his love letter to humanity as his standard of his love his goodness is justice and we see that in romans chapter 7 verse 12 so we god gave us the standard and we should seek to abide by his standards amen so then let's move over the lesson i want to talk to you and we talked about sabaton creation let's go now to sabbath and redemption and what this is all about well when we talk about redemption and we review the lesson [Music] we it points out another reason to rest okay okay and we say the redemptive work of our lord and savior jesus christ in reviewing first john john 1 verse 1 to 13 and romans 6 verses 16-18 we see that we are freed from the captivity of sin all right just as israel was delivered from bondage in egypt and as we go further into it we see a whole process of transformation taking place with the wilderness journey for god decided and god is faithful and he needed a faithful people so god took them through a process of transformation and as last day people we are also required to be faithful so so for me what caught me about the lesson and the wellness experience was the mana experience and here it was that go did i want to hear food that would not last every day of the week normally would last on his sixth day so what would would this be turn into worms and all these things every other day on the sixth day god is saying listen you can gather this on the sixth then it will be preserved and last for the sabbath day the seventh day so that you don't have to go and do your usual work and stuff to collect this on the sabbath day and to me to show me a clear lesson that god is going to provide or sustain me and provide for my family my church family and all of us once you have that faith to believe that he would do it yes amen so ella casford when we look at sabbat and rest tell us how we should rest in a sabbath well you know it's so interesting because even before our time and rest talks about the final the time when they had the change over when the generation that left egypt who finally they passed away and had a new generation now looking to enter into canaan until the promised land and here it was moses was reiterating in deuteronomy that listen these are the laws of god and he reiterated the sabbath as well and said to him listen god is promising us this was here no he promised it to your parents before he's promising it to us no and also that the sabbath is not linked to before the past and no but even the future because it's so important to understand that the sabbath point said jesus our creator and our redeemer and once that we understand that then we could understand what we do with rest now i grew up an athlete a student athlete and before i was an athlete when you hear the word rest you would think about sleeping pillow bed that that sort of thing but then in trinidad the coaches taught us something called active rest where you wouldn't be doing the same activity you would do when you were training but you'd be doing a rest you'll be doing some form of activity still but in a lesser way in terms of speed and strength and that sort of thing it's the same way i related now to sabot rest no it's not a time to go to pillow hill as we say and sleep on the sabbath and it's sabotage i'm going to sleep for the entire day no it's not that it's a day where we find the time and the bible talks about it in psalms 92 in exodus 16 29 where we find the time to praise god we find the time to speak to others about god we find the time to sing to god we find the time to rejoice in god's creation our nature works and these sort of things we also find it time to meet with god and his church like we are doing now and having service online we also find time to spend time with our family and the friends and also not to do our own will but to enjoy the sabbath and the benefits of the sabbath and the rhythms of rest so for me it's so it's not what we cannot do but there's so little time to do what we are supposed to do when we come to enjoy the benefits of the sabbath my brother so i think that we've said a lot and we want to close on the lesson so what takeaways would you like to give us from what you gathered from the lesson well the lesson clearly indicated the importance of god being our creator it also indicated that he is our redeemer he's our sustainer and in jesus christ we have everything that we need amen and one particular verse in scripture i'd like to read is philippians chapter 2 verse 5 which says let this mind be in you which also is in christ jesus so just as chris jesus did the work of his father we also are to exemplify jesus in our daily living so the importance of sabbath unrest is critical to our being and that is why god put it in creation as a memorial for us to observe throughout all eternity amen and amen well said may we continue to study god's word and continue to learn a little more of his love each and every day and i'd like you to pray for us brother as we close our adult sabbath school lesson let us bow our heads and close our eyes our heavenly father we again thank you for the opportunity to come and fellowship and to treat with the lesson study of the rhythms of rest we thank you for revealing unto us the importance of rest and we pray that you would continue to transform us that we may enter into that rest which is in jesus christ to your honor and your glory in jesus name we pray amen amen amen amen and amen happy sabbath everyone welcome to our online update segment i'm so delighted to be in the house of the lord city before we start i just like to remind you to like and share this stream to help us share god's word with a wider audience sometimes that's all it takes to make a difference also don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any updates jumping right into it i'd like to acknowledge our early birds those who are logged onto the stream before it even started lila marchand theodell williams and cleon richardson i'm glad to see you excited to praise madhya deep chan flora thomas and carl buhan it is so nice to see you eagerly awaiting the start of today's service i also want to take a moment to shout out a couple church members who maybe haven't heard their names on stream before or those for whom it's been a hot minute since they last heard their name sister galiando brother moore this is a salvary we haven't forgotten you we truly appreciate you being a part of our church family sister richardson and brother maraldo thank you for logging on and worshiping with us finally in honor of our third installment of the family life series here's a shout out to some of our very own huge families the montessori family the france seeks how are you guys doing on this fine sabbath morning i also want to give a hollow to the johnson brown family the cayenne francis family and the morrises we welcome you warmly to church city and of course a welcome to the members of the lupino church family who may be logged on we cherish all members from our district do you want to hear your family name called on stream just drop your names on the chat i might call you next week to close we at five of us are always thrilled to have you watch our streams people write to us with their testimonies about our stream every day and it's encouraged us to try and reach out to as many people as we can sharing this link might only take you a minute but it can have a big impact on somebody's life with all that being said thank you for being here on stream i hope you enjoyed my little section if you did look out for me next week i might be there see ya and good morning everyone and a happy sabbath today i have our announcements for august 28 2021 now in our country's fight against the covenants 19 pandemic i must remind you all that all congregational worship has been suspended for the past few months we can see the light on the horizon glory be to god but until then we continue our sabbath morning live streaming every saturday morning from 10 am we invite you also to be a part of our sunday and wednesday evening services on the zoom platform beginning at 6 00 pm both days so members by the way if you have the link please share it widely just in case you recently returned from a trip oh i don't know to the moon our 2021 family life series entitled a fresh start began on august 14th with all the excitement and intrigue that we have come to expect so far we've seen the lovely couple rennell and elijah exchange nuptials elijah being demoted with a massive cut in salary and the couple's first fight and it looked like someone almost got slapped the drama continues this week and we wait to see if elijah gets to sleep in the doghouse or if reynell goes back home to her mother last sabbath pastor peter morris delivered an excellent message on financial planning this week south caribbean conference's president pastor leslie moses addresses the sometimes taboo topic of family planning and abortion you cannot afford to miss this week's installment remember this series runs every saturday live on our youtube channel from 10 am tell a friend the women's ministries department of the five rivers sda church presents parenting the adolescent a five-week online training program this program targets the parents of children aged 10 to 19. however since children mature differently parents who have younger or older children are also welcome the program is carded to run from september 4th to october 2nd let me repeat that september 4th to october 2nd on saturday afternoons from 5 p.m to 6 30 p.m parents this is a really important session not to be missed our adolescents are having a hard time and you want to know how you can help them prepare during the pandemic so don't miss this session for further information regarding cost and registration instructions please see our website for further details that is the 5riverssda.org the online crusade a man for all seasons with pastor randy dixon pastor of the takariga seven day adventist church ends today we invite and encourage you to go to the tachariqua sda's church seventh-day adventist church that is youtube channel at the end of this program and view the two weeks of programming that has been created man for all seasons remember to visit the south caribbean credit union that is the financial institution of seven-day adventists in trinidad and tobago for information on how they can assist you in achieving your financial goals see our website for further details and information that is five rivers sda dot org we take this opportunity to remind you to continue to pray for all our members and viewers so please continue sending in your prayer requests the link is located in the bio of the stream on youtube every week you can also email us at connect five rivers sda dot org that is connect at five sda.org you can also follow us on facebook instagram and twitter at frsda church follow our youth department on instagram at f r s d a a y visit us there on weekdays as we post positive and uplifting content to help us keep going during the week i take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you that prayed for us during our outage this morning thank you as you receive these among announcements and faith god bless over to you elder brian thank you very much sister shirley thank you rebecca for sharing those shout outs and socially for sharing those announcements to god be the glory folks individuals have been buoyed up marriages have been blessed and people are just happy to be part of this family life series and they are very happy to be part of this segment we still say i do we still say i do our email address has been flooded with foot with pictures of people going way back reliving that that day when they walked up the aisle to say i do and we know that that people are happy and they're enjoying this marital bliss and this is what we promote at five assembly adventist church to continue to say i do we want to first of all thank sister anna jarvel cesar angel from the arima sda church for our backdrop behind us to god be the glory she has seen it fit for us recognize you know that we are part of the island of trinidad and tobago and our anniversary is our independence is coming up on monday on tuesday and she presented us with this wonderful backdrop and we are just expressing our thanks to you sister javel for your continued support even to our stream team and our service at 5 7 to the adventist church we still see i do and we want to encourage you we want to encourage you to spend time and relive the moment this sabbat we have a few individuals who continue to live in marital bliss and continue to trust god to lead them in their work we have mr and mrs mcneal mr and mrs mcneil and they are all the way from west philadelphia west philadelphia and they are married for 18 years now 18 years now and they are still enjoying marital bliss so god be the glory continue to keep god in your marriage we have mr and mrs manswell our very own mr and mrs manswell still looking at your 10 years married as a matter of fact they are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary this tuesday independence day and we say to god be the glory we continue to keep them in our prayer and we we love how you look mr and mrs mcmahon mr and mrs macmillan married for 29 years 29 years on counting god is really blessing you and we say to god be the glory continue doing what you're doing and continue to keep god in your marriage mr and mrs lawrence mr and mrs rose and mr mrs lawrence comes all the way from jamaica and we are happy that they online with us and they are sharing their marital bliss ten years ten years and counting let us continue to keep mr and mrs lawrence in our prayer mr and mrs thorne mr and mrs stone our very own elder thorne and i want to give you a little sneak preview here he's part of our elder ship but he left all the way from grenada and he came and he stole a bride from trinidad so he has trinidad root snow and they're enjoying their marital bliss seven years and counting to god be the glory continue to keep god in your prayer mr and mrs pope mr and mrs pope and they are married for seven years seven years and they are all the way from superior sda church now i think that gentleman left down there and he came all the way to aruka and he stole his bride and he carried her and now i think they're living shogonas very good friends of ours and we are happy that they continue to hold on to god as god continues to bless them seven years and counting last but not least [Music] mr and mrs [Music] miss and mrs bonaparte mr and mrs bonaparte and they are married for they are married for nine years and we are happy that they two have taught it best to share their pity with us to god be the glory continue to keep god in your in your your marriage and we will continue to keep you in our prayer and last but not least mr and mrs cyrus wow they look as if it was just yesterday but these individuals have been married for 44 years clearly god is blessing this womb god is blessing this marriage continue holding god in your corner and he will continue to bless you may god continue to bless all these individuals who have sent their pictures for us and we want to encourage you the email address is on the screen we want to encourage you to send your wedding photos on this email address so that we can highlight you we can continue to pray for you and we can continue to encourage you as you walk with god god bless you until next time over to you sister trisha i was a little girl my father used to say who can't hear us feel that would usually follow a very stern warning to desist from doing something that we already knew we're not supposed to be doing now with all the warning you would think that he was sharing licks he never did the rare occasion that we called for a few slaps it was my mother who was the executioner hi mom now usually we hear the statements addressed to young children but i'm here today to tell you that that statement the old people saying who can hear us feel it's for all of us so young people who are charting their course in life who are now launching their own careers and thinking of starting their own families you can learn from others around you and even adults the bible reminds us in proverbs that we ought to not lean on our own understanding but to acknowledge god in all that we do while so usually the the pain or the feeling that we get might be the physical sensation of yes as you said a few a few strokes but it can also warn us of the gamut of unpleasant feelings that we as humans would prefer to avoid sadness when things or people don't turn out to be who we hoped that it would have been the disappointment had failed relationships or ventures despair when you realize that you're now in a real hot water situation and the anxiety that goes along with it that shame that someone can now tell you i told you so and the guilt that we could have avoided these pitfalls had we acted wiser ourselves in week one of the drama series we saw renel and mom trying to counsel renael about the wisdom of rushing into our marriage and renell as lots of young people do you know she said to her mom you can't preach to me about marriage your own marriage has failed and while she was right on that regard she was still wrong because having lived through a failed marriage her mom was the best person to tell her what the pitfalls are and how to avoid it and she should have listened and many of us young people are making that same mistake yeah after year week after week we make decisions on our own with limited edu experience and limited knowledge who are we supposed to rely on if you are blessed to come from a home with godly parents then your parents are your first port of call if not then your parents and zion the people who look out for you at church are supposed to be your sounding board but don't think that i'm talking to young people alone today because adults you also have um a lesson to learn from this when we are faced with challenges life-changing decisions god is our port of call god is our refuge and he asks us to call upon him knowing that he would answer us we are not supposed to be relying on our own strength and our own knowledge and our own flawed human reasoning to make decisions day by day secondly though as adults we are the ones who have experience we have lived through various things and sometimes we refuse to share our experience with others maybe because of guilt shame to acknowledge that you have failed as well but we are the ones who are supposed to teach and show the younger people as they are coming up so i have two questions for you for your journal today everyone needs to ask themself where can i find godly counsel when i'm faced with a decision that is life-changing who can i turn to and as i said if you have your parents young people that's your first place to go and if not check the people in church who love you and care for you and want to see you go the right way also adults we need to we've heard people say it's not what you say but how you say it so the question then today is how can i work on the how i say it so that the lessons that i want to teach are appealing to the people who need it most we want to teach we want to spare the heartache we want to get them on the right path but if we don't see it the right way if we don't do it the right way if we don't share these experiences in love then who is learning what really so i won't take any more of your time i know everyone is anxious to get onto the drama series let's see who is going to learn what [Music] [Music] no respect [Music] [Music] oh [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] hey yummy yeah i still come in okay bye grinnell is the same thing i'm talking to you about him how you could keep this from me girl for me i wasn't keeping anything from you let's just have lunch thank you you're welcome thank you anything else um yeah we'd like to have some for produce when you want some no okay then one group of juice yes i must be upset about this scenario because we talk about this before you get married you only have one more year one more year to finish university and this banquet that was never your dream correct for me i don't want to talk about it okay it's just one more year it's my life i i don't know let's just have a good lunch i don't want to talk about this i don't want to argue [Music] is money the problem vanilla because your anti-carol tell me elijah not working full-time anymore it's part time now normally i don't want to talk about it okay let's just have a good lunch we have to save the place to open vantage carol [Music] [Applause] yeah everything cool i like your hats how come you're so early kill and even across them to have an underserved but i was always on the field and i don't go back just know what kind of thing oh well i was looking good on you oh well i just passed my wrongs wrong psychology contributions for nauseous per day oh right right um [Music] that's not on my check it's 50 dollars 15. yes small change look um i didn't pass by the atm so is it possible i can get here tomorrow yeah i'll pass backwards tomorrow all right okay bye ages all right elijah what's up brother mr battalion what's going on man look i didn't sign up for this and i really didn't sign up for this holy the hot one already on the field and i had to go back just now elijah just adjust yourself but uh you will get past this so that's why i'm not seeing you in church disease brother i just want that real tension right now things real rough but uh come by later for that line all right lyme oh all right elijah you looking like you forget that line by me you know nah i didn't forget what am i talking about the anniversary yeah all right brother and remember you're supposed to walk with some drinks right oh all right no problem i'm office we'll talk later all right take care all right [Music] okay right now i'm so frustrated school have me all over the place yeah but i wasn't really impressed [Music] but i hope everything's good with you you're just looking real stressed yeah [Music] okay everyone gather round gather round gather round jordy could you bring your handsome daddy please hi sweetie yes lovey yes so we are gathered here this evening to celebrate our 24th anniversary yeah we have been married for 24 years it's been rough it's been good we've had our good times and our bad times but we've made it we've made it yeah even though sometimes i felt like sending him back where he came from yeah not so we had some good time but good what has been good to us yes blessed with a good family yeah two wonderful children yeah wonderful we wouldn't change you all for the world never you know we're really happy that all of you came to celebrate with us and we're going to have a good time sheila you've been an excellent neighbor thank you very much for the support thank you to all of you yes may god bless you and to my sweet wife yes lovey they're still loving each other amen [Music] olia come and see pictures from elijah wherein you see in these pictures and i hear you're watching yourself don't try that mommy you're looking good enough yes you are oh ah wow that's a beautiful picture they look they look really nice there yeah it reminds me of our big dish you look just as sweet thank you you're welcome you're welcome well you see how happy looking yeah elijah what were you whispering in her ears there boy i could just imagine a smile on her face yeah must have been something good wow and sharon is that a beautiful picture wonderful yeah [Music] now what is wrong with that i don't want to talk about what is wrong with her i don't want to talk about that moment talk to me i am your mother talk to me what is wrong [Music] come on i'm just so tired he just fights every single day and i'm trying to talk to him about it but he just don't even he don't even talk to me anymore and i just i don't know how to get out of this situation i am here for you i am here to support you i just i don't even know what to do it's like every day i just regret the decision and i don't know [Music] you're pregnant [Music] you sure you're pregnant right now yes and i shouldn't even know because i'll tell them about it and he's not listening to me i can't even have a conversation with him and i don't know what to do [Music] i am here for you god is still in control of everything okay we will get you this all right now we will get you this okay we will get you this [Music] i don't know what to do [Music] [Music] all right are we gonna have our theme song [Music] do [Music] i've always tried to live life on my own [Music] no one but me could sit upon my throne the successes that i've gained were all achieved in my own name and in the end i know i'm worthy of the fame [Music] but then one day it all came crashing down [Music] my former friends were nowhere to be found [Music] the success i thought was mine was like the friends i could not find now i realize the vanity inside starting over starting over with christ my savior i'm starting over all my life has been full of smoking screams selfish passion in between with christ my savior i'm starting over [Music] my selfish passion has brought me to this point the life i fashioned [Music] was short of disappoints i learned to go back o lord can you anoint jesus take me i long to be yours starting over starting over with christ my savior i'm starting over though my life has been such a broken dream pain and sorrow in between with christ my savior i'm starting over and though my life has been such a broken dream pain and sorrow in between with christ my savior i'm starting over [Music] i'm starting over starting over again [Music] or next song we'd like to turn or hymnals to number 492 like jesus now this is a song it's a beautiful song and start to see in all of my 30 something years of adventism i've never heard it so through my research i'm looking for music that was fitting for the theme i came across this beautiful song and i pray that you enjoy it as we sing it [Music] teach me father what to say teach me farther how to pray teach me all along the way how to be like jesus i wanna be like jesus i wanna be like jesus help me lord to daily grow more and more like jesus [Music] teach me as the days go by teach me not to reason why teach me that to do and die is to be like jesus i wanna be like jesus i want to be like jesus help me lord more and more like jesus [Music] teach me that the time is short teach me how to live and work teach me that to never share is to be like jesus [Music] i would be like jesus [Music] i would be like jesus help [Music] verse teach me how we may be one like the father and the son [Music] teach me how we may be [Music] i will be like jesus i wanna be like jesus i wanna be like jesus help me lord today grow [Music] more and more like jesus more and more like jesus more and more like jesus [Music] i love that song it's my new favorite song it tells of asking the father to just guide us and give us those steps that we need to be more like him our next song would be number eight you know hymnals we gather together to ask the lord's blessings [Music] [Music] [Laughter] we gather together to ask the lord's blessings he chastised his will to make known the wicked oppressing now sees from distressing sing praises to his name he forgets not alone [Music] [Music] or attaining maintaining his kingdom divine so from the beginning the fight we were winning thou lord was set outside [Music] and pray that thou still our defender will be led by congregation escape tribulation thy name be ever praised oh lord make us free oh lord make us us free oh lord make us us free [Music] as we draw nearer to our midday hour or divine hour prayerfully wanna commit your souls ourselves as we ask god to come into our hearts in the sweet hour of prayer [Music] [Music] my father's throne [Music] relief [Music] [Music] return sweetheart [Music] he turned sweet [Music] good morning good morning and happy sabbath to each and every one of you god is indeed an awesome god a god that loves us our god that concern about our daily needs and i just want to let you know that you need to keep on trusting god for he always supply everything for us he sent his only son to the on the cross for our sins man what a wonderful god that we serve you know and i just want to share with you i know i've come here to pray at this time but i just want to share with you a wonderful poem the top the name of the poem is there is never had this poem there is never a teardrop that god doesn't see he knows every spiral that falls from the tree there is never a moment when god doesn't care for his presence is always there there is never a moment when god seems far far away for for his presence is always there god is always with you on mountain high or very low he will take care of you wherever you may go so don't be discouraged of the trials you face god will deliver you from it all by his grace so i encourage you to stay focused and keep the faith i want to see each and every one of you entering that party gate so i just want you to consider trusting god continue to hold on to his promises i wanted to let you know that he's able to carry you through this christian journey i also see that in the prairie india on the chat that we have plenty prayer requests and one of the prayer requests that i saw is what sister alva noel posted up where she said she wanted prayer for thanksgiving because god has heard our prayer and her nephew is being healed drastically i just want to let you know that god hears us he's concerned about our daily needs he's concerned about our daily lives he knows what we are going to as the scripture says he is touched with the feelings of our infirmities and so even as family yes we may go through our trials we may go through our tests as families but let us hold on to god let us bruise our knees and spend time in prayer let us bruise our knees and spend time in god's word so that we can understand and have a closer relationship with him knowing that he will come true for us at the right time so continue trusting god continue to hold unto him and don't let go let us bow our heads and close our eyes as we pray eternal father you are such a loving god to us we give a thanks and praise father for all the prayer requests that were sent on the chart god you know every family member and you know what each family are going to at this moment we place every family into your hands we ask god that you will take care of them that you will provide for them that you will carry them through further this christian journey we pray for marriage's father who are having a tough time god you are more than able to bind them with cause that cannot be broken further we ask that your holy spirit may touch each and every marriage we ask that your holy spirit may touch each and every spouse god so that they can make that decision to be faithful that even make that decision god to follow you all the way god we also pray father for sister ava noah never you that you continue to be with him as he continues to be healed by you god because we have no power you have the power of god and we trust in you that each and every one of the prayer requests here today that you are more than able to answer them and hear each and every one of our cry we also please god our speaker for today we ask god to touch his lips with our power from on high that your words god may speak through him and so that each and every one of us may hear a message from you today that will draw us closer to you so we can have a closer relationship with you and with each other so we thank you so much for what you have done and what you are continuing to do in jesus name we pray amen and amen [Music] [Music] he knows my name he knows my name [Music] he knows my name he knows my name [Music] and oh how he walks with me [Music] me yes that i am his own yes you know my name yes you do you know my name [Music] you know my name is [Music] and it's still amazes me that i am your friend yes [Music] in your presence [Music] yes you know my name thank you lord for knowing me you know my name is he knows every one of us [Music] [Music] [Music] i am your no fire can't burn me no battle can't turn me no mountain can't stop me cause you hold my hand i'm walking in victory cause your power is within me no giant can defeat me [Music] [Music] is [Music] take my hand please [Music] oh you know you [Music] walk with me [Music] i am that i am [Music] to god be the glory god is indeed a great god this morning we have with us the president of the south carolina conference pastor leslie moses and he's not here alone but he came with his wife sister moses and i want to let you know something they too still say i do they too believe in wedding bliss because they celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary last wednesday and we say to god be the glory may god continue to keep both of you in his arms and may you continue to enjoy each other's presence this morning pastor leslie moses and sister moses is here to share with us about family planning and they have done seminars all over trinidad and tobago and even outside of trinidad and tobago and we know that we're going to be blessed this morning by the message that god will use these two individuals to share with us so may god bless you and it's over to you pastor and sister moses it's a joy being here at five rivers once again deborah it's um a lovely church as you can see lovely people i agree great music and uh we are here to spend a little time with you i when i was invited i taught about coming here to preach you know i love preaching but then i thought maybe to do this presentation it would be better done more gracefully done if my wife was here i wouldn't tell you when i asked her to join me but i asked her and she willingly said yes and so we're here today to present the issues we are dealing with today are multifaceted um i was asked to speak about planning the family but you will discover as we get into the presentation that we are going to deal with a whole lot more we we're going to try to stay within the time but we're going to touch on a number of issues that would um speak to the answers and solutions regarding the production that we saw earlier so debbie let's get into it planning well the family marriage can be a most beautiful experience according to proverbs chapter 30 verses 18 and 19. i'm reading from the new international version there are three things that are too wonderful for me for that i do not understand the way of an eagle in the sky the way of a snake on a rock the way of a ship in the sea and the way of a man with a woman have mercy jesus mercy mercy me two persons in spite of their imperfections and differences can live together with the help of god and enjoy life together in marriage the truth is married people can still have fun god intended god created marriage so that people can have fun it is interesting to be that people boast about how long they've been married and how their marriage has been i heard a story of a pastor in a church um a big church so he asked people to tell the secret of what made married marriage so good and so wonderful and he got up this was a senior guy in the church of course the members didn't know his wife he came to shalom and he said we have been married now for for 56 years and everybody opened their eyes right as ever 56 years he said and the pastor said so tell the church the secret of your marital happiness of your marital bliss and that brother said pastor when we got married after the first day i took on vacation i took her to barbados he said debbie i left her there came back to trinidad and i have been living happily ever after for him that was marital bliss what we are talking about here today in respect of a beautiful experience is not that kind of situation where husbands and wives are living a part together where one is sleeping on the bed and the other underground where one is sleeping in one room and the other another room that is not what we are talking about we are talking about two persons brought together by god so that they can enjoy marriage together and enjoy what god intended for that marriage to be a beautiful experience a beautiful experience indeed you know and we want to talk to you about the fact that there are some ideals now a lot of what we are sharing today is uncast in concrete in other words these are generalizations these are general rules there will always be an exception and i'm sure somebody is sitting there from fried river's church or sitting there from new york city or philadelphia somewhere and saying pastor what you're talking about doesn't fit into our situation well maybe not because these are generalizations so there there is an ideal age or range or the question rather on the screen is is there an ideal age range for married for getting married well can i suggest to you today that for the woman that ideal age is between 23 years and 27 years and for the man that ideal age is between age 25 and 31 years debbie can you say why for the man um of couples generally um because the upper limit there is for the man 31 years for the woman 27 years why shouldn't people get married too old or when they are too old people shouldn't get married when they are very old because at that point in time they are stuck in their ways it is difficult for them to be flexible in marriage and at that time they find the difficulty in adapting to a new partner and it becomes problematic of course if they get married too young that's a whole different ball game oh yes the reality is when people young people get married too soon they get married and essentially they are not ready for marriage they haven't had enough experiences in life they haven't had um they haven't gotten to a place of of good maturity i remember debbie having a young couple come to see me for marriage he was 18 i think and she was 17. they came to my office i was already president so i was upstairs not downstairs and um they came with a lot of light and vigor in their faces so i asked their age and i i got their age and i asked them why you want to get married they said pastor the lord come in soon and we want to be with each other pastor i love her i asked are you working anywhere not yet pastor are you going to school anywhere young lady she says i'm not finishing secondary school but i plan to go university so then i ask them did you all ever have any falling out any disagreements and they both said we never even had a falling out with each other now falling out is a good thing in courtship because it helps you to realize the kind of person that you're getting involved with it helps you to realize what that person is capable of and some people are capable of a lot of stuff during their um early unmarried years so i evaluated them and i spoke with them i said you see what you are not ready yet go and come back in a few years and we will talk again because clearly if they had gotten married they would have encountered a whole lot of challenges in their marital experience and it would have been another statistic well that would have been it may have been and i say that because there are some people especially some of our older folk who have been around for a very long time they have been married now and some of them got married at 15 and 17 and they will say to you and they're looking as young as ever they will say to you we have been married forever and we're having a good life well that worked well in those days in those days we didn't have internet we didn't have social media we didn't have a lot of the ills in our society as we now have and so it's a whole different ball game today and um so we're just simply saying don't get married too soon you're not ready for it to add to that in those days people were more family oriented grandparents and their uncles and ants in some instances supported we're supportive yeah indeed very good of course there is also an ideal age for child bearing what is that about sweetheart well it is suggested that the ideal age for childbearing is between age 25 and 35 years especially for the woman because at that time it is said that their body and the mind are matured sufficiently matured research has shown that the body is most ready for childbearing during these years she is emotionally and physically ready and settled this is a generalization statement of course there are exceptions to the rule always extraction yes now let's get into some other stuff and of course our presentation is based on the production that we just saw and when we looked at the production we got some issues there we saw some issues that we are addressing and one of the big issues debbie i observed well i'm guessing i'm guessing that this young couple by the way who married now for just three weeks that's the skit yes three weeks married and they they're getting on already right production it would seem then that one of the issues that um we have to talk to based on what we saw is that it appears to me that they did not have maybe an adequately adequately long courtship and so courtship we are suggesting should be a special time to know and to be known it should be between 24 months and 36 months and and research has suggested debbie that there is something we don't use magic but there is something really special about people courting for 24 months 25 months actually and that research suggests that people when when they did studies on people generally those that got um counseling and those that were courting for exactly exactly 25 months they tended to last longer in a marital experience i don't know we didn't quote for 24 months recorded for three years that's right correct did i remember right yes i did yes okay all right so so a good range would be between two years and and three years and this is a time this is the time to communicate it is a time to listen to listen all right so communication is needed for marriage to thrive and to survive that's right that's right looking at the production we saw the couple quarreling shouting and not listening to each other that was a communication breakdown and that indicator says john gottman that the marriage is disintegrating as we saw in the production the woman rene kept repeating over and over that her husband elijah was not listening he was not listening something that we really are not taught to do from childhood something that we need to get over and start doing in other words you're saying while we were not taught as children to listen we need to learn how to listen that's right we need to yeah all right so communication is essential and that's one of the big factors that um we observed from from get go three weeks into marriage they were not communicating well at all all right another thing we observe and we are guessing here because we don't have all the details but we suspect that they were not adequately counseled and the point we want to make to young people and to older ones because some people get married older and even though we talked about being very old when you get married it still works but it is difficult yeah yes so so so this rule is not just for the the um the young people but also for the older ones who are planning marriage counseling is essential yes in marriage preparation yes and guess what ladies and gentlemen it shouldn't be one month before the wedding it shouldn't be three months before the wedding is everything fixed and you're scrambling now to arrange counseling with your pastor the counseling actually should begin about six months at least i once had a couple a couple from felicity shabonus who said to me pastor we're getting married in three years and we want to start counseling from now i mean it shocked me because i never saw it before you understand but with that couple i was able to do so much more than what i would have done with a with a regular couple who came six months before and and one of the purposes of counseling by the way pre-marital guidance we call it is to determine whether or not that couple is suited for each other whether or not that couple is ready for marriage and i've had couples we have suggested them i've suggested to them you're not ready yet give yourselves a year and let's go at it then and they came back and things worked out i've also had couples debbie who didn't listen to that advice and when i said no i cannot marry you yes brethren i've said to several couples in the past i cannot marry you with good conscience i cannot so they leave me and they go to somebody else they got married and within a year and i've seen that happen with at least two couples within a year they were gone they were apart because they were not suited for each other and can i also say debbie that if you're in counseling as a matter of fact ellen white says in adventist home if you are getting married and you get to the altar and you realize this is not the thing and this is not the one she says leave the walter and go back home of course people think about all the food they cater in they think about the church decorated they think about the money spent on the reception hall they think about the embarrassment and they stay at the altar with a heavy heart only to realize that after a year or two or three or four they go apart and the embarrassment the shame all the issues with a broken relationship are still there it is better to break a courtship than to break a marriage marriage marriage is about making a vow between each other and with god it is a serious important thing in the life of every couple during courtship you have a chance to cover as much areas as are needed to be covered so let's look at some of the things that should be dealt with during counseling and we're going to pick it up here because we're coming closer to the end i i i want to try to keep it tight today sweetheart if i was here all alone i will just get on and behave badly but i can't be here but i'll be with you on this stage don't be mad right so these are some things to cover during coach during counseling money in the production um money was a problem wasn't there yes we saw that yeah we saw that money is very important in marriage the finances of a couple in marriage needs to be spoken about during counseling before marriage there should be a good source of income and that most times traditionally the man is the main income provider sometimes the woman works to help meet the needs of the family budgeting is an important factor and as far as possible they should try to stick to the budget and live within their means and that's an important one the other one the other topic that should be covered is the topic of sexuality and they're not putting any order of priority even though i should say that research has shown that the number one reason for breakup in marriage is money the second most significant reason in research is sexuality so those two are put in priority so sex should be something to talk about you know um with the counselor and with yourselves as a couple you know um and then he said if you should have it but you must have sex and marriage you understand so you should have it um there should be sexual intimacy um maybe how often you know maybe issues like um should we look at pornography while we are in the bedroom preparing maybe issues and i know this is a taboo topic and some of you may say what pastor moses is talking about that are talking still maybe the issues of the issue of um oral sex maybe the issue of of um how do i say well we have children so let's stop here let me just say anymore those children are looking to right but there are number of issues all right and i'm not going to answer those questions today that's not why we are here we're just moving on i'm just saying you need to discuss those issues you know young people and even children know a whole lot more than big people right when it comes to sexuality i discovered that oh yes we assume that they don't know and the best place by the way to teach children about sexuality is in the church of the living goddess yes the church so so even though i know some of you are ouching right now i just want to suggest to you let's not ouch because our children are not ouching they're in primary school and they're exposed to pornography they're exposed to all kinds of crazy things going on you know so so let's be brave and bold even on sabbath and talk to those issues straight up and then they would get the proper information proper information indeed another topic to discuss debbie would be what where they live why is that an issue because when two people are coming together as god says in his holy word a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave onto his wife it is important that they come together and decide and find an appropriate place with good surroundings a place where they would live and come to know each other and grow together in marriage when you go to work and you come home when you go to work i should say there should be a place to come home to amen and of course there be the issue of freedom in your own home so while some people may conveniently say i'm going to move into a bedroom in my parents house that doesn't work too very well if it's for a very short time fine but you should try to get out on your own so that the both of you can be expressive you can be free if you want to walk around the place as you want you could do that but if you're living with mommy and daddy you can't do that that's right that's right then you should not do that well you should not do that you're correct all right um another topic to cover with the communication we talked about that already so you're not going to get into it spirituality important aspect an important aspect in the life of a couple is spirituality there should be family worship there should be church attendance they should live a christian life and be an example to their children in and out of the home and to the community 24 7. practice what you preach of course the last one on this slide is children that is something to discuss too all right um and now we go into what we really came to talk to planning the family all right um so that's the topic for counseling planning the family it's interesting debbie that the bible in psalm 127 i'm going to read this one psalm 127 course psalm 127 was written by the wise man the wise man solomon and he had much to say about the family in psalm 1 27 we don't have the time but if i had the time i will say to you accept the lord build the house stay that labor the labor in vain rather that build it and we're not talking about a house with bricks you're talking about the family so if god is not a part of the family then you are working um it's an effort of futility hard work for nothing all right so god should be a part of it but the key text that i want to share and i'm going to read it from the king james version um psalm 127 verses 3 and 4 it says lo children are an heritage or a gift um the original language of the old testament says our reward so children are a reward from the lord a gift from the lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward as arrows that are in the hand of a mighty man so our children of the youth amen let me read both sides too since he's talking about children is that okay okay okay it says happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them they shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate so planning for children and planning you know how many to have and so on is critical in the production that was the issue um what's the girl's name again ronnie rennie yeah ronald okay right now so ronnelle was in a mess because obviously obviously they didn't plan and you know something just came to mind if they're married three months three weeks and she's already discovering that she's pregnant what's going on there could you know that you're pregnant in three weeks i don't know i don't know the fact is people do react differently they act differently for sure and from the ones our hormones right begin to come into play okay okay so she could have so they could have been married at the that three week period that's what i was told they are marrying over three weeks and of course she's so let's not get into what happened before the wedding day that's right because that may not be the issue here the issue is she is now pregnant and um she is in a mess assumed assumed to be pregnant she has assumed to be pregnant because we don't know if she did a test but she's vomiting and thing yes but people do vomit for different reasons for different treatments but it seems as though she's pregnant it was hinted it was hinted okay all right so she's pregnant now after three weeks of marriage and that is a matter of course every good counselor will tell the couple they should not get pregnant too soon and i didn't say she shouldn't get pregnant i said they shouldn't get pregnant because pregnancy is not just about the girl it is also about the boy right so family planning was a big issue there it seemed as though they didn't plan it because she was talking about how she gets how could she get rid of this problem and she's crying she's a mess she want to tell the husband but she can't tell him she know how to tell him because he too is probably wondering what in the world going on here yeah there is speculation there is some speculation all right so what do you do in counseling you need to talk about how many children you should have yes in the book of psalm 122 rather genesis chapter 1 verse 22 there is a very important verse there and that verse simply says and god blessed them saying be fruitful and multiply some people think that that text is still very applicable as a matter of fact debbie as i was preparing for this slide i observed that five times in the book of genesis god repeated that very command be fruitful and multiply of course the it was empty so so that text was very applicable and useful then is it still applicable today should we still be fruitful and multiply you think well the truth is within marriage god expects us to be fruitful and multiply as we said without sex the marriage is not culminated you must have sex and how else do we get children the marriage isn't consummated it isn't consummated until they have sexual engagement you're saying yes right and of course when having sex we can have children right good god expects us so he still expects that that original command be fruitful and multiply he expects it to still be happening today yes in 2021 yes with covedo and with all of them mad things going on children be even bad and crazy children disobeying parents children going crazy smoking uh-huh children drinking church children and all you know partying does god still expect us in spite of these realities to be fruitful multiply of course he does he says he says it in his word okay however i give up however knowing all that you have said we must be wise and use wisdom because there are things that can help us in this regard okay and that brings us to the next topic which is contraception contraception all right are you going to talk about contraception of course i was doing marriage i should say during counseling there are methods that could be used as contraception to help us in although god has said to be fruitful and multiply using wisdom and planning our children as best as we can to do this it is wise that we visit either a general practitioner a doctor a general practitioner or a gynecologist who will give us good guidance in this regard because they have been taught how to do so right and you know debbie i like to suggest the couples filing for marriage not only should the girl go to see the doctor that's right but the boy should go to yes so that the young man could hear what the young lady has to do and of course when we talk about contraception you have the barrier methods you have chemical methods you even have natural methods like the billings method and the um what's the other one called billings method and the rhythm method where nothing is used but the the ovulation period of the woman is gauged and they um determine you know when to engage in you know intimate activity so they stay away from that um period that time period that she can get pregnant right when they both go they can make together a decision in terms of what they would use right as contraceptives yes and of course one of the issues in family planning is how far apart your children should not when my mother [Music] my mother lovely woman i love her to the deaf but my mother of course she didn't have the knowledge i'm sharing with you and i hope she doesn't see this video even when she sees it so maybe i shouldn't say but let me say it in those days they had children and every year there was another one and i think in these days some people do that too so there wasn't adequate planning of the family so should it be like how it used to be long time every year she is pregnant and ready to produce another one sweetheart even though we plan sometimes god intervenes it doesn't matter what we use god must have the last say he must have the last say that's right yes but is there a time period between children i think there should be and it is suggested that that time period should be about two to three years of course it also depends on the age of the woman if she is past 35 remember you were saying 35 is the upper limit in terms of the ideal child bearing stage if she has passed 35 hours want a plan and they want to have three then it is a good advice having a a large span between them might take her to 50 years yes and that wouldn't be good that's right all right all right um then of course i didn't hear directly but i thought i heard um the young lady and i still don't remember her name i think i heard the young ladies talk about getting rid of the problem rene rennell yes i'm trying to remember now that's right i heard her talking about getting rid of the problem now remember the text we read earlier says that children are a heritage of the lord it is a gift from god i hear my wife saying all the time you know there are people who would like to have children and they can't and so even when a child is born out of wedlock it is still a gift from god because it is god who enables the birth of a child there are many people who would like to have children and they can't and so even if a child is born out of bad luck deal with the church let the church deal with you in terms of discipline but abortion cannot and should never be a method for contraception or for family planning even if you've had four children or five children and they're coming nine months apart of each other abortion should not be the way to go right so we at this point the bunking putting out that couples young couples even if you are three weeks into marriage or uh or or three months into marriage if somebody is pregnant if the both of you are pregnant no both of them can be pregnant well yeah but i said it just now if both of you are pregnant then keep the baby abortion is not an option all right the lord made you see those words if they both are pregnant because sometimes within marriage the husband behaves as if it's just the wife's responsibility and he doesn't do what he should do to encourage her and her help her through the pregnancy and you know i feel about husbands who get more than sickness oh yes yes so so he pregnant too all right so let's go to the last slide so we're wrapping up here and this is the main point we came to make today there are stages of marriage and the one we like and use more often than others is one developed by a christian psychologist h norman wright he's not a seventh adventist but he's a solid therapist child and marriage therapist marriage and children therapies and he says there are three stages of marriage three stages and we want to talk about those three you have the honeymoon stage you have the disenchantment stage and then you have the maturation stage when we talk about the honeymoon stage debbie what are we talking about the honeymoon phase of marriage is known as a romantic stage tender and idealistic period it occurs immediately after the wedding through the next several months the goal is to have have it last as long as possible maybe a year or two it is a time of the highest level of marital satisfaction for the copper so my advice is to stretch it this is when they should build the marital foundation and have the most fun getting to know each other this time is characterized by passion sexual intimacy and closeness this is when they feel loved the honeymoon period can be tracked in the brain as well a functional mri shows that people in the honeymoon phase show a lot of brain activity in the correct nucleus which is important in learning and memory and the ventral tegmental area which is important to emotional processing both of these areas affect the release of dopamine in the brain these areas i'm talking about is the cardiac nucleus and the tegmental area and to know you know that dopamine affects the feelings of rewards and motivation this is the feel good neurotransmitter in other words the brain lights up in these areas and now we feel good within ourselves during the honeymoon phase that's good stuff so you're actually saying the brain lights up in those areas you'll see jesus oh yes all right in the brain so the honeymoon phase is significant and that's the point we're making now there is a text in the bible that most of you have never read you've never read this text i'm going to read it for you we're closing up but we have just a few more things to say is deuteronomy chapter 24 and verse 5. i want you to write that text down because some of you young people you've never seen this and i'm reading it from the king james version it says when a man hath taken a new wife he shall not go out to war neither shall he be charged with any business in other words miss centalia in other words he ain't supposed to be going to work in usc yes that's what the bible said that was that's what happened in the israelite economy young people who just got married sir didn't go to work here why hear why but he shall be free at home a year and shall and shall cheer up his wife have mercy the new english translation says and bring joy to the wife that he has married in all of us in other words in other words pastor nichols he had a preacher i feel like preacher now when we marry them young people brother brian we need to provide for them well i mean i'm talking about the ideal well you can't do that today because the children have no money you don't have much money but we need to find ways to support our young couples so that they could thrive and they could enjoy this honeymoon period in bible times that is what they did he stayed home to cheer his wife oh another man a young man with a young wife cheer up his wife in other words people that honeymoon phase is a critical phase and you don't make joke with it one of the most important things i'll tell you today is that during this honeymoon phase as deborah said it could be for three months it could be up to two years the thing or the things that cause it to end is a pregnancy or any family crisis that comes along why a pregnancy simply because when she becomes pregnant she begins to vomit a lot she begins to have a lot of illness morning illness and some pregnant women have to be lit up in bed for a long period during the honeymoon and that really yeah during the early stage of marriage and that is why you should try to delay having children once you have the age for as long as possible so that that foundation he could love her and he she could love him and they could have a good time and she's not confined to a bed for for nine months or for six months and he's wondering what did i get myself into but sweetheart i don't want you to frighten continually don't scare me okay not every woman experience those bad experiences all right thank god i didn't amen amen the second stage is called the disenchantment stage so when the honeymoon stage ends the couple goes into a disenchantment stage that is the stage the second stage whether it happens after three weeks or three months or three years at this stage they want to break up at this stage they want to go back home to their parents home at this stage they want to dis connect from each other but the message at this stage when things are rough and you don't feel like loving anymore and you don't feel lovable anymore this is when you need to stay close and stay tight and work out the issues and deal with the problems because the last stage is coming and that last stage is called the maturation stage where he realizes i thought she was an angel or she had an angel or um she thinks i thought he was a saint but he are not saved he might be near a devil but is my husband amen is my wife i made a commitment to god and in spite of his feelings and shortcomings and in spite of the challenges we are facing we are going to stay together we're going to stick it out we're going to love each other and we're going to hold on to each other amen so hold on young people married people if you're going through difficulties hold on better days are coming and can i say as we close deborah can i say two things quickly one even though you are any of those stages if you have any problems get help amen see your pastor see your counselor the second thing i need to say i can't leave here without saying that and that you can have a honeymoon phase in your marriage at any point in these experiences a disenchantment at maturation and that honeymoon phase that honeymoon period can come and the both of you can just get away and go up to the hyatt get away and go to barbados go on the beach online in maracas the boat of you alone and then go to the hilton after the beach amen amen so the honeymoon phase even though it ends officially at the at the point of pregnancy or you know at the point of a family crisis that can be reintroduced into the relationship at different points just by the both of you doing wonderful things spending time with each other and loving each other isn't that wonderful amen so even though people having challenges they can still have a little honeymoon every now and then amen amen so brothers and sisters we have come to the end and so the last slide simply says the end be done be done but we're not done yet because we need to pray for couples we need to pray for young people who are married and going through difficulties and all the people who are married and going through difficulties i told you i didn't they told me about this a long time ago right but i didn't tell my wife that i wanted her to help me i can't tell you when i told her if i told you then you will say pastor oh you go to the woman that you tell the woman that last night but i can't tell you i told her that last night but thanks for keeping my company here [Music] so i'm gonna i'm going to do something to her that i didn't tell her you okay the whole world looking now you know so we're going to pray together you will pray i will cut in and then i will pray and you cut it whenever you want bring to a couple is that's all right all right father in heaven we thank you for marriage we thank you lord that as couples we can fulfill your plan for our lives and as we do so lord we act that you will guide us and you will guard us as we live together as we vow to do your commands so that our marriages would be enhanced lord and couples that are having challenges young couples recently married couples couples married for a little while now but still having challenges we want to lay them in your hands today and we pray lord that you would breathe hope we pray that he would breathe help and encouragement into their relationships that they will realize that with god anything and everything is possible and they can make it help couples their lord to see the importance of planning and seek whatever venue other area needed so that dear lord we will have more successful marriages happier couples together and father not only are we praying for the young ones but we pray for the old ones to the older couples some have been married for a long time and we are asking lord that you would help them that you would guide them that he would build build them because lord the older ones are the mongols they are the mentors they help us younger ones to know and see how to go and so lord today we pray that you would bless us then maybe lord there are some who are not married and who would like to get married there are some maybe with our children and they looked at what we're talking about today and feel pained because they just cannot have children or because they don't want to have children bless them as well lord and bless your people that's the young people and grant that in your church we would thrive what we're doing here today and for the next few weeks we'll build our church here at five rivers so that we'd have stronger families this be our prayer help us o lord and may your will be done help us o lord that we'll have stronger marriages in jesus name amen amen amen amen a wonderful message let's continue to to ask god to keep us on that journey of faithfulness in our individual lives as well as in our marriages those of us who are still married when a prayer has got to keep us in that vein of happiness and faith [Music] i've always tried to live life on my own no one but me could sit upon my throne the successes that i've gained were all achieved in my own name and in the end i know i'm worthy of the fame but then one day it all came crashing down [Music] my four of my friends were nowhere to be found the success i thought was mine was like the friends i could not find and now i realize the vanity inside starting over starting over with christ my savior i'm starting over all my life has been full of smoking screams selfish passion in between with christ my savior i'm starting over [Music] my selfish passion has brought me to this point the life [Music] we're sure to disappoint i long to go back oh lord can you anoint jesus take me i long to be yours starting over starting over with christ my savior i'm starting over though my life has been such a broken dream pain and start open between with christ my savior i'm starting over [Music] and though my life has been such a broken dream pain and sorrowing between with christ my savior i'm starting over [Music] i'm starting over [Music] starting over again thank you have a blessed week [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Five Rivers Seventh-day Adventist Church

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Keywords: SDA Live Stream Service, Seventh-day Adventist Church Live Stream Service, FIVE RIVERS SDA, FIVE RIVERS SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST, FAMILY LIFE 2021, A FRESH START, PASTOR LESLIE MOSES, DRAMA SERIES

Id: jC_q2mGd958

Length: 173min 45sec (10425 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 28 2021