Family Guy Lois Griffin The Best Of Part 2

okay i'll spare his life but uh you owe me if you get my drift what the hell are you doing i was talking about another fruit cup thank you but i really don't approve of you know gambling well technically it's not really gambling it's just us trying to rebuild our shattered culture after you raped our land and defiled our women well as long as you're not using it for fire water let's have sex on his back like we used to oh what the hell is going on oh i'm gonna have to pinch you for that oh peter don't pinch me oh ow damn it cut it out maybe i'll tickle you huh how about daddy here you go peter it's just a phase you've gone through a few yourself you know yeah like those two weeks you spent narrating your own life i walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table i looked with a grimace at the questionable meal lois had placed in front of me of course i'd never tell her how disgusted i was with her cooking but somehow i think she knew lois had always been full of energy and life but lately i had begun to grow more aware of her aging the bright exuberant eyes that i had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life i awoke several hours later in a daze this is all i can do lois i'm abstinent that is it i am gonna have regular sex with you whether you like it or not no i wasn't asking your permission no no now i'm abstinent this isn't a front to the lord no no no oh i see what you're driving at that's why i built your widow's walk lois so you can watch the sea until i return go on try it out peter that doesn't look entirely go on peter i'm really not comfortable stepping foot on lois i gotta leave in like five minutes is this scotch tape oh you drunk let me finish the story fellas you don't want to be up all night or do you or do you she's a smoking little pistol isn't she are you a woman no you've got 20. hit me peter don't hit me 21. hit me peter hit me that's 30. hit me can i call the uh herculoids for a reference has been filled thank you very much you can go nowhere leave now [Music] hold my purse what's mom doing i'll tell you what she's doing she's screwing up my 6-2 quinella damn it my nose out in front followed by seabiscuit followed by some crazy lady followed by a middle-aged housewife followed by wait a minute who's that followed by silver dasher and now it appears there's a woman chasing the dogs geez this is gonna be worse than that time we had to sit through your uncle jerry's snuff film uh are they really gonna kill that girl peter please people are trying to watch yeah my wife here did kiss get out of here hand to god oh peter how does that make you feel i feel like i've done kiss too danny and it feels good lois you got any tips for the young girls in the audience tonight well i guess the best advice i can give is that you never know who's gonna grow up to be famous so just make yourself available what happened to me you know before i was married i lit a very exciting life oh my god the actress who was the girl that escaped from which mountain well dad i think i can shed a little light on that you guys were so baked you didn't sound anywhere near as good as you thought you did i was in the audience [Music] sometimes we all need a second chance sometimes we all need to forgive i stole ten dollars from meg's room i stole ten dollars from mom's purse i've been making counterfeit ten dollar bills for years i didn't know anyone in his family had any talent well except for that one thing your mother does you mean play the piano no no sh yeah and to think brian i was like a day away from having sex with you i was gonna push those beds together and take you around the freaking world brian but a nice pat on the head is just as good huh you want your ball you want your ball no lois i don't want the ball right now i'll be in the basement doing what what do you think i'll tell you one thing i still regret not going to my junior dance but daddy if you don't do what they say they'll kill me sorry pumpkin you know we don't negotiate with kidnappers family policy daddy no please please she'll be all right well you know when peter first said we were our own country i was a bit skeptical but then i thought hey i could be like hillary clinton only you know without the penis i came because i love the theater i mean if i just came here to enjoy watching your father be humiliated when this asinine spectacle of his is ridiculed by everyone in town what kind of person would i be a [ __ ] well my my mr hoover's come to visit i i i don't want to see mr hoover i wonder if mr hoover has anything to say about all this lois this is not funny i i i really don't want to see mr who ah stop stop it stop it it's scaring me leave me alone it's so loud stop it stop it all right okay all right i'll study i'll study peter talent doesn't disappear just like that well sometimes it does i mean i mean you were pretty bad in bed saturday night come on lois move or something she's just like doing it with a pillow peter i stayed at my mother's that night oh listen lois uh what i said before i've never been more wrong in my life you are the coolest girl in the world my wife did kiss and jake is what nothing you

Channel: Cartoon Family Dad

Views: 23,878

Keywords: Family Guy, Cutaway, Familyguy, familyguy, family guy, cutaway, compilation, funniest, lois, grifin, los, griffin, best, funny

Id: OVMh9GkvpkI

Length: 7min 3sec (423 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 19 2022