Exmoor Wild Camp | Facing My Fears

[Music] up [Music] all right we've arrived it's a gray windy sad looking afternoon early evening it's gone past five now i'm going while camping um i'm feeling pretty gray and sad inside as well just struggling a lot with my my mental space at the moment but i thought i'd come while camping the opportunity has arisen for me to do this tomorrow looks like nice weather so i thought i'd give it a shot and to be honest having driven out here to simmons bath and exmoor national park i've officially got further than any time before i think this is the fourth time now and i failed to leave the house i keep making excuses or things coming up like genuine work business um and then last time i had a bit of a fall apart just because this brings up so much stuff but i want to walk in up the valley on the two more way find somewhere to pitch get the tent up and then maybe once we've got bro i'll have a little bit of a chat as to why i want to do this thing just got to get myself out of the car come on ready steady go all the hoods all right pack is on my back bye car see you tomorrow uh let's do it i'm feeling good it's uh pretty sad weather but let's see what we can make of this thing feels weird i haven't worn this pack in a long time turning off the raid gonna pick up this track for the gate here [Music] [Music] so the route today really is very straightforward i'm literally just following the valley alongside the river ball and once i reach cal castle kind of region which i don't know if it's actually an archaeological site or not but it's a very interesting shaped mound um just gonna find somewhere dryish hopefully and pitch up i can feel the drizzle is coming in so i'm trying to just get my speedy boots on see if we can find somewhere to put the tent up [Music] look at that even in it winter dressage that is not a bad view [Music] you can hear the river there's a good sound for me uh but i can be honest with you i'm starting to feel quite fearful now it's it's coming in and i'm trying to just work with myself um i'm excited about this but i'm doing it to face fear and the fear is my mind it just runs riot um just i don't know it goes crazy with thoughts my imagination really kicks off it can really trigger my mental health in ways that day-to-day life doesn't as such so uh yeah just gonna keep walking keep tuning in to what i can hear see smell that sort of thing and uh shouldn't be too long now before i'm at the place where i wanna camp nice bridge down there we don't need to go across it as the path carries on but just go to a take a bridge appreciation [Applause] [Music] moment just spotted six deer up there um possibly red deer you look big enough it's good deer territory actually there it is you see that mound there in the distance that's cow castle so it's around there i'm gonna find somewhere to pitch up oh and there's a hero just beautiful isn't it so so tranquil okay so the main path goes that way i'm considering just scouting out along here i mean this is cute but it's obviously right next to the path um yeah let's just go see what we can find [Music] so on the aos map it does show a flat a bit where it should be suitable to pitch up tucked away from the path as well this looks good here hello little slice of heaven wow i eventually got it up here terra nova laser compact one definitely designed for summer use as opposed to right now you can see the lights definitely going as well so i'm gonna get my stuff in and then get some food on [Music] i've got a brood i've got a view and i'm feeling all right tent is up wind is easing off which is really nice i'm just listening to the river and that's it it's just me and the open moors on exmoor part of why i've chosen this location is because if anything does go wrong it's literally a mile and a half two miles out down the valley back to the car boom boom boom done um but there's the added levels of there's no signal here so i'm completely by myself just switched off from my from my world and i think some of those things are really good to do every now and then and you know facing fear is frustrating uh fear is frustrating because you know i think generally speaking as an outdoorsy person people could think that getting out here even just hiking for a day hike or camping or backpacking is easy because i want to do it but it's just not the case i want to do it i'm excited to do things but then when it actually comes to doing them i get really afraid and for me with wild camping you know i've had a couple of undiagnosed psychosis episodes when i've been while camping by myself can't even begin to explain to you how terrifying that is i'm like absolutely terrifying um that's really knocked my confidence but this isn't something i've grown up doing you know i went for my first proper camp when i was 18 years old i'm 24 now you know it's not a huge chunk of time um but part of spend more time in the wild is to open the doors to accessing the outdoors for mental and physical health and it's frustrating because sometimes you have to get through your mental health and the fear and the anxiety and the agitation and the upset and the stuckness to then face it so it's been a massive ordeal for me to get here and now that i'm here the mental health is still gonna be here it's still gonna be screwing me over um but i really gotta coach myself and talk to myself and i've just been reading a few letters from people and um they're really good to sort of remind myself of where i've come from and hear other people's voices feeding in good things you know legit letter um definitely need more of that in my life i think but you know i'm someone who often feels very disconnected from other people i find that very hard i often feel very lonely even when i'm surrounded by people um i deal a lot with sort of paranoia type things and it's horrible and when i come back outside i have to get through the anxiety but i can then remind myself that no nature is also my friend nature is also my safe place and i'm pretty good by myself so yeah i'm feeling good feeling proud of myself feeling grateful and let's just see what the rest of the evening brings all right so here's my tent meal basically it's a whole foods ration pack which you can use for camping so it's vegan it's moroccan spice couscous bursting with juicy mango jumbo raisins apricots and walnuts so all i have to do is add it to this hot water stir it and leave it for seven minutes all right i've definitely added too much water to this but that's okay because i need to hydrate can you see like that's a whole cashew that's a whole walnut that's a whole almond there's a mango slice in there as well and then it's couscous and spices and raisins just insane a very hearty healthy meal it's gonna keep me fueled and uh well field for tomorrow and hopefully send me for a good night's sleep tonight okay i'm in bed um it's just around 9pm had food i've been reading for a little bit had a bit of a cry as well um my head was getting really quite bad just seeing things that are not here like right on the edge of that happening but i've managed to hold it together and not be too jumpy i've been quite jumpy um but my brain just seems to pick up any change in the landscape sounds like the wind sounds slightly different all the water in the river and it's just frustrating in some ways because i love the outdoors i want to feel safe out here i want to know that i'm safe out here because i am it's purely in my head and yeah dealing with a lot of insecurities and stuff as to who i want to be and the person i want to be but i also just have to stay in here and now and know that i'm doing the best that i can and uh now i'm going to try and sleep so i've got my earphones in i'm not listening to anything just to try and mellow out some sounds mostly it's just the river anyway i'm a little bit windy but it's not too bad so yeah just gonna remind myself of what i'm grateful for i always do that for asleep and then see if we can turn this noisy odd head off i'll see in the morning i'm feeling quite tired but i'm feeling good i'm feeling accomplished uh i made it through to the morning um at pointless last night it was just like praise like hold the tent because it was so windy but um my head was okay and i'm really pleased with that i just kept you know walking myself through the situation visualizing the lines around me it actually never got too dark it was quite a bright moon um dark too dark to film but there was definitely light so that was helpful um but yeah i tossed and turned and got a few hours of kip here and there um sad news is i've run out of gas just like that completely unexpectedly so i can't make coffee or anything so i'm literally gonna pack up and go i was gonna do a walk today but this weather is miserable and uh plenty of work to get on with so um there we go job done let's get this stuff all packed away we'll head on out head on home get coffee there i think oh man one thing is a little dent just you just want to get out and stretch so that is coming my way shortly oh lower back stretch that is good okay welcome to my handful of boat we made it tell you it feels good right now i'm feeling really good right now i'm feeling uh very connected to nature making me very humbled by the beauty even in this misty weather i'm actually i wouldn't be surprised if this does burn off later today [Applause] i've pretty much just finished packing up my stuff there for some reason you're steaming up i don't know why that keeps happening but just on the hillside again there's the deer they've obviously been hanging around all night it's kind of cool it's just the three of them galloping off say goodbye to luxury camping spot let's get going let's just head along the side of cal castle and then we'll pick up the path again made it yay river bar at its best see you soon pal you know it's so important that i can keep familiarizing myself with while camping because so many different trips and expeditions i dream of doing involvement there's no option but to and i like that i want to be able to do that i want to be able to get further out into nature and away from the impact of mankind to see wildlife spectacles and really become a part of the natural world as i move through it and in order to do that i need to get comfortable with wild camping so uh it does feel like a a bit of an achievement today actually i'm just dwelling on it and trying to celebrate the victory i got myself out here and reminding myself that it's hard it's not that hard there's other things to come and it's polypoly slowly slowly as they say on because my own jarrah so keep building on it and won't leave it too long until the next one there's a very good looking tree there just uh very pleasing to the eye i always find it very interesting contemplating how landscapes have been used throughout history i mean we walk past the remains of that cottage there's been lots of old field boundaries and obviously now there's more than no fences and sheep about just uh sparks my curiosity to wonder you know has this always been a farming landscape was it subject to industrial works during the revolution i don't know haven't done my research before coming out today but in some ways i'm enjoying that it's giving me a very open mind to to ponder and wander i guess i thought to spice things up a bit rather than going back the exact same way we came we'll go back this way i've not done this little bit straight path before a little bit of stretch of path let's go just been trying to go through the hours out here and just encourage myself i think um i often end up very insecure with uh expectations for myself placed on myself and by other people sort of subtly and it's about time to let those go you know i've got to find my own path my own way of living in alignment with who i am my own pace and we all do really so yeah just uh even now out in the drizzle it's very mild i'll tell you um i'm you know i'm happy i'm listening to the birds i feel calm inside a little bit dissociated but definitely calm inside so nice change i haven't had that for a while here you go that's where i headed off yesterday back on the road job done so there we go guys i want to say thank you so much for watching this today i hope it's inspired you to head out and take on your biggest dream adventure goal whatever it is and remember you don't have to start big starting small is the way to create sustainable steps sustainable progress until next time enjoy those adventures and stay wild i'll see you soon [Music] you

Channel: Abbie Barnes / Spend More Time In The WILD

Views: 41,123

Rating: 4.957582 out of 5

Keywords: Abbie barnes, Thru Hiking, Backpacking, Song Thrush Productions, Adventure, Hiking, Day Hikes, Gear review, Foraging, Walking, Mental health, wellbeing, physical health, Nature, mindfulness, Trekking, National Park, Mountain, spend more time in the wild, travel, trail, community, long distance, national trail, scotland, lake district, snowdonia, dogs, camping, wild camping, expedition, stay wild, UK hiking, exmoor, dartmoor, anxiety, how to, overcome fear, challenge, adventure, hiking, lightweight

Id: 45P8RFItda4

Length: 21min 29sec (1289 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 11 2021