Exercising Emotional Self-Control

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be exercising emotional self-control well this is really [ __ ] huge and of all the topics that I talked about exercising self-control emotional self control over your own emotions and insecurities especially when you're dating women especially when you just started dating a particular woman is essential because if you don't exercise the most emotional self-control meaning when you leave a message for a girl not waiting for her to call you back or text you back because you're afraid she's not going to get back to you that's needy behavior and sometimes women that you've just met or you've just called for the first time or maybe you've already been out on one date but maybe she's got a little inkling that maybe some insecurity there and you they'll purposely wait just and not call you back when you're expecting if like if you leave a message she'll call you back the next day why because she wants to see if you can actually wait until she calls you back because if you can't then it means you're needy you're weak and you're insecure and there's a good chance you're the type of guy that will turn into a stalker or an abusive control freak boyfriend and women want to avoid men like that at all [ __ ] costs and so that's why it's so important to maintain your emotional self control now a lot of times I see emails from guys who are already dating a girl or already emotionally invested and things are going sideways and so there are motion there emotionally there are wreck and so they come to me and they just start learning about my work when they've already made a ton of mistakes and things are already going sideways and so in those cases a lot of times because the guy can see that things are getting worse and worse and the girl is backing away so they're just totally consumed by fear fear of loss fear that they're going to get rejected and this is makes it incredibly difficult when they're already emotionally invested to do what I say to do or what I suggest to do because they're just scared they're just so full of fear and I got an email here from a guy who has written me a couple times and it doesn't look like he's read my book yet and this particular woman that he was dating and trying to turn things around with it's just basically he ignored and here's a crazy thing she's telling him because she's an awesome chick she's telling him what to do she's saying don't call me back get pissed off at me every once in a while and hang up the phone on me so I can wonder where I stand with you because she told me grow a set of balls and act like a man all these things she's telling him a lot of the same stuff that I've been telling him but yet he just ignores her and he's been ignoring me and now he's gotten the de let's just be friends speech because I mean she got [ __ ] tired of his crap she's like she told him what to do but he didn't listen to her so he says Corey I just finished watching your video and reading your article answering my latest questions thanks again for your time well to be honest me and my girl are not together no more because of my mistakes and not being knowledgeable about this stuff now I know I totally know that I turned her off completely well at least you admit that it was your own fault now I see no hope if I want anything to change I have to make those steps that you were discussing in your videos I have to act different more developed as a man less needy more mysterious etc I don't know how I can't understand these simple steps you were telling me and that she was telling me I say [ __ ] [ __ ] you understood them completely you just chose to disregard them because most people will do human beings in general will do more to avoid pain than they will do to gain pleasure and in the place that you were when you first come and started contacting me you were already hurting emotionally and she was telling you what to do but quite frankly you were probably too scared shitless to do anything different than what you were doing you know it's kind of like now if you've ever taken race car driving school but in race car school when you lose control of the car what they teach you is to look where you need to steer towards most people when they lose control of a car or they do they look at oh my god there's a wall look at the guardrail oh my god there's that car and they stare at what they're trying to avoid you fear you attract what you look at disappears and so a lot of times racecar drivers will have the instructor that'll that will literally take their head and move it down the track or they want them to steer towards when the cars like out of control because if you're steering where you want to go you're making corrective action the car but if you're looking where you're actually driving towards then you're going to actually steer right into what you're trying to avoid and so in this case you're emotionally freaked out about the whole thing you're scared of getting rejected she's telling you what to do is she's saying if you don't stop doing this I'm going to reject you I'm telling you the same things you're reading in my articles my videos and it's you know it's like you're you're just determined you're you're like frozen with fear and so you don't want to try anything else like some guys come to me and they just think they'll read the advice go yeah that's good advice but I don't [ __ ] idiot Corey I don't need your [ __ ] I can do this on my own and I totally get rejected and they're like oh my god I can't believe what happened I'm so shocked this is so such a surprise so he says I just can't help it and I'd say no you choose not to help it and how do I know this have you ever been pissed off or are you with somebody and the phone rings and you're gonna and the phone rings you like hi how are you what can I do for you you know whether it's at work or whatever so don't [ __ ] tell me that you don't know what to do or that you have no control over you're simply choosing to not have control because what happens when you feel fearful it's like everything goes out the window and you're like your overwhelming desire is your need for certainty your to find out where you stand in other words am i rejected yet is she getting rid of me right now and the only way to get any certainty about is the call or to talk to her to kind of gauge and try to see where she's at but that's just needy chasing behavior you're not calling her because you want to talk to her you're calling her because you need confirmation of needing because you're needy and you're insecure and that's going to simply you know you'll get your confirmation you'll feel good and you'll hang up the phone and then a day or two will go by and you won't hear from her and you go why isn't she calling me this does make sense and you she mad at me did something run oh my god and you pick up the phone you blow you know you're blowing it up again oh well I just wish you all I was I left three messages and you know I was just thinking it maybe something happened here that's why you didn't call me back but you're okay you're safe okay good you know great yeah I'm fine you want to go out tonight oh I'm busy I can make it okay I'll talk to you later the call call me later call me tomorrow when should go okay I'll call you tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and goes and then you freak out even more oh my god and so you're already acting needy and she's like why she says I'll call you tomorrow then she doesn't call and foremost got the needy guys will call her I'm lucky you didn't call me what you didn't do what you said you were going to do and for women you only test to see what your strength is and you know when they do something like that you're just communicating that you're not worthy and you don't deserve to be with them and not only that but you actually don't feel like you deserve to be with them and so they have no choice but to agree with you and reject you unfortunately he basically he's like here's the kicker he says he said he says I try not to be like that damn he said you know like Master Yoda said try not either do or do not there is no [ __ ] try should I stay in contact with her I'm thinking are you [ __ ] kidding me you're actually asking me if you should continue contacting her it's like so let's look at the first off you turned her off and she wanted some space and she told you what to do but you didn't listen to her you kept chasing her and then when she said she needed some space and then she said she needed some time apart but yet you continued to chase her and call her and blow up her phone thinking that would make things different and now she's at the point where she's giving you the let's just be friends [ __ ] and you're going should I continue to contact her it's like dude I mean seriously you got rejected because you were contacting her excessively she told you not to contact her excessively but you [ __ ] did it anyways and now you can see like you asking this in the email is basically you go on Cory will you please give me a reason to keep doing what I've been doing which ain't working and I'm saying no [ __ ] way like are you kidding me it's like if you keep contacting this girl eventually she's going to get a restraining order against you and think you're a [ __ ] stalker it's like dude cut it out let go move on don't call her ever again if you hear from her if she happens to call you try to set a definite date with her she won't do that if she tells you to call back to verify her mind just like let's do it some other time you got to read my book and you got to start applying what I teach you know and at this point it's like don't send me another email until you've actually finished reading my book because this is like the third one either a second one I've answered for you and you haven't listened to anything I've told you to do and the first two of them so if you find this message of value you can show your appreciation by going down the Lybia toolbar at the bottom of your screen if you're watching this video on my website and click the Pay Pal donate button and donate any amount that you feel is equal to the value of the information in this video at the very least please share this page with all your friends and family by clicking any one of the social number of sharing buttons which are also located in there will be a toolbar at the bottom of your screen and if you have a question you want to ask me or there's a topic that you want me to cover in a future video newsletter click the contact me tab on the left top the middle left hand side of your screen and just send me three or four paragraphs maximum detailing your questions your challenges your situation you got to give me several days get back to you because I get a lot of email from the internet and also get a lot of email from my paying phone coaching customers and I obviously got to focus on their emails first but be patient and I will get back to you and if you want to talk to me right away so I can help you personally with a situation or challenge you're having the quickest way is to book a paid phone coaching session by clicking the products tab at the top of your screen and just follow the instructions and I will talk you see you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 231,500

Keywords: Exercising, Emotional, Self, Control

Id: p5hBHM8LwYU

Length: 10min 47sec (647 seconds)

Published: Sun May 13 2012