Ex-Con Reacts #2 - Brooklyn 99 Going to Prison - It's a Brooklyn Nine Nine Reaction Video! | 126 |

if you want to kill him you're gonna have to kill me first wow look at him sticking up oh my god he's spamming oh they'd have killed him right then and there too all right everybody larry lawton here for another great review i'm gonna be reviewing brooklyn nine-nine it's the prison series the prison part as i say because that's what really makes me laugh this show really does make me laugh and this prison stuff is off the charts before i get started please check out patreon slash larry law and jewelry and also check out right here on youtube please the member program and if you have not subscribed please subscribe and also check out our action crew because we are making a difference let's jump right into the show so i got it jericho super max prison i'm loving that already smoke angel dust at gunpoint talking about drugs there is a lot of drugs in the joint i'm telling you that there's a ton of drugs the movie training days man that dude is huge it's because of that big dude is over brush your trays now peralta i haven't finished my lemon cookie ball and you're not gonna get to either give it to me oh you want the cookie oh look at this let's eat it up oh you're going in the hole oh i gotta stop it if he did that he would beat after death he'd be beaten if you i saw a dude swing on a guard once over when i say they threw him a beat like you wouldn't believe it reminds me of a quick story i was on conair and i ended up going to oklahoma oklahoma city's the central hub for the bureau of prisons and i had a big indian dude i mean this dude was huge everybody knew him anybody who did any transfers anybody did anything in the in the bop and this dude i seen him take a dude out of line and i mean right in front of a hundred people beat the [ __ ] out of that guy i mean half the debt and we're like whoa man this this this guy's crazy that's the guard let's go continue yeah you can lock me up but one day i'll get out of here and i'll drink to the hole you go that's for sure hey warden what's up next time don't wait too long to spit the cookie oh you're waiting for four minutes and it's gross okay he did it you know what they call that they actually do have a name for that in prison it's called the check-in move you do something but it sure won't be spitting in a guard's face trust me but you might tell the girl go [ __ ] yourself or uh some people do do that believe it or not as sick as that is they'll do that they'll say you know go [ __ ] yourself and they know they're going to the hole and i have seen that so that i've seen the time what's up with romero all right he's got a delivery coming in on wednesday night one of the cafeteria workers is smuggling something in with the produce ah great see you thursday wait what you're just gonna leave me in here with solitary you spit in a guard's face that's five days in the hole yeah but i mean you made me do that well we don't want anybody getting suspicious huh have fun five days at home you spit in the guard's face you're gonna you ain't getting out of the hole for six months or dirt you're getting 30 80 day you won't see the dho display hearing officer for x amount of time nothing not afraid to be alone with my thoughts my thoughts are awesome die hard sex on a cruise ship pizza bagel restaurant my father never loved me i'm gonna die alone oh boy that happened fast guard guard that was your first stint in solitary it was nothing i held it together oh amy when'd you get here you've come for my conjugal capabilities you know this is kind of funny because it's sad actually to me because listen to me i was in the hole for a long long time and you do go crazy don't let anybody kid you you start talking to yourself you count the bricks on those walls i'm looking at the walls right now and you can literally count every one of those bricks if you want to call them and you'll know how far and deep and how high and and you start going crazy you talk to yourself you do crazy stuff you do jack off every three times a day five times a day so i mean you come up with i think i told you what a fifi is you see the thing on the wall you're lucky yeah this guy's got a uh i don't know a sexual thing that just fell off the tit fell off he made it out of mass potatoes but you know what we used to make what they had they call we used to make what they call a fifi a fifi is you take a towel and you bend the towel in half so you got a long towel bend it in half we used to get a surgical glove out of the medical unit you lay the towel down on the bed or wherever and then you put the glove on one end and you roll the towel tight so now the towel is tight and the fifi or the the rubber glove is sticking out then you pull the edge of the rubber glove out over it so now it's just a rubber thing real tight that'll go you know what you'll do with that then you put some lotion in there and you can actually wedge that fifi up against uh the bed in between your pillow and the mattress or and they do everything you can imagine in prison it's just it is what it is so what happened with that sweet intel i gave you your tip was garbage we busted romero's delivery look at this figured out the uh the can i keep this yes you should you reek you put me in the hole you ever heard of blizz yeah drug right blizz blizz is meth i need you to find out where he keeps his stash well i doubt he would tell me that you know this is a great spot to talk about where they hide stuff in prison uh everywhere let me put this one we had even guards that were hiding in atlanta we had an elevator the guard would actually let us go to the area and we'd open the elevator because it was in between the two doors of the units and you couldn't get there it's not like an elevator for us to use it was like almost like a dumb waiter elevator and we used to put wine under there or i mean inside lock is so many different places in atlanta it had plaster walls i mean old the place was built in 1903. so what we used to do then was we used to there'd be like patch marks all over the place so if there was a hole we'd make a hole in the wall literally you know big plasters walls we'd make a hole we would actually let's take something like a key or if you wanted a high drug small amount of drugs you put them on a string you put your fingers in the hole and you take the string and it's in the wall you run it down you pick a piece of tape and you tape the wall that the stuffed drink the sort of drugs behind the wall taped to the wall then you take wet toilet paper and you actually push it in into this hole and it looks like it's just another piece of plastic you keep putting wet toilet paper and it dries like that then you paint it we'd get paint and we paint you know get paint from the cms and we would paint that and now that whole entire it looks just like another patch on the wall as if a guy plastered it that's normal in prison and in fact there was drugs or something behind that spot we'd also get a key we'd find from cms we'd get a key you know the door the door on your unit's about that thick well the plate where you open the door it's not like a handle open it just closes and opens they lock it with a big key but it's like it's got like you know where you put your finger in and you pull the door open well that has one of them it's got a steel plate we get that plate where we we had we got a tool that we could take that off we take that off and we would put drugs inside the door figure out how to do that so many places to hide drugs and hide contraband heights shanks hide everything else in prison and you got good at it when you're in there a while i'm not exactly in the inner circle maybe you just need some extra incentive find the stash or i'll tell everybody you're at snitch wow wardens do get like that i mean i'm sure they do i never had to attack me because they never snitched and he filled out but i know they're [ __ ] brutal wardens are the worst people in the world great prison is great that that scene was realistic did you miss me no i got a shake don't kill me i was just doing batman what's wrong with you never sneak up on me i was sharpening my [ __ ] right i'm sorry it's prison i forgot what's up i'm busy that's very uh realistic you don't sneak up on anybody but the way they talk is kind of fun this show is just so high or these scenes in the show is just [ __ ] hilarious but yeah you don't have a sneak up on in fact in prison when you walk by you never walk in somebody so you don't even look in it you don't even look in it what you do if you go to a guy selling it the cell's open you literally knock on the frame and a guy said come on in that's his house man don't ever forget that in the joint that's that dude's house i'm clearly gonna be here for a while i want to live my best prison life and for me that means doing more for the gang i was thinking specifically i'd be great in and around the world of drugs because let's be honest i'm not great at murder what do you think he's telling him what he wants to be a drug dealer you're great such hilarious but maybe i could learn from you you know sort of shadow you for a while and see how your operation runs go from [ __ ] to mouse as it were jake i just kept pushing it you're gonna make me think you're a snitch you know what i do to snitches give them a public dressing down question that dude wouldn't last 10 minutes in a real penitentiary specific policy love the attitude loved you love all of this okay see you in the mess hall romero by romero hey i'm gonna bind i need your help that's what friends i love this guy he is the guy who eats people this this this show is just off the charts believe it or not there are people that are sick [ __ ] like this i mean i don't know this is real sick well friends might be a bit of a stretch i mean you're a cannibal that ate six people nine and a half yep worse anyway here are my options nine half people yeah to tell me where the drugs are he realizes i'm a snitch then he castrates me and kicks me to death that's not great what's option b i back off romero never find out what the drugs are the warden tells everyone i'm a snitch and then romero castrates me and kicks me to death both options sound a little castrated yeah that's what i keep bumping up against too well you know whenever i'm backed into a corner i just do what i do best i drive across country forge a new identity and then take a job as a camp counselor oh my god caleb you're a genius this is so funny i mean first of all nobody would be this relaxed they wouldn't be talking like this in prison obviously it's not hey what do i do but it it but it's a funny show come on guys i wouldn't say genius they can't bring a pretty extensive background check no not that you're passing straight up like his best is a nightmare i do best be a cop work the case figure out where the drugs are on my own can you tell the warden an award will bust romero and romero won't think i'm a snitch because he never told me where they are all right this is gonna be tough i'm really gonna have to thread the needle oh i got really good at threading needles back when you're making your skin soon i know look i like being friends with that cannibal this [ __ ] makes me [ __ ] disgusting romero looks like a comic i give it and the guy behind him is [ __ ] huge that dude man really oh yeah the watching the following oh the food makes me sick man soccer practice to end come on man did you see that romero just went into the showers for the second time today well maybe he just likes to relax no one is relaxed in a prison shower it's literally the most tense situation i've ever been in what's he doing in there that's actually not true in penitentiaries especially during a lockdown or certain times you can get in the shower and they have doors on them heavy steel doors where they lock you in so you can actually you know that's where a lot of guys i said that one of the most important things i i did in prison you wear shower shoes that's because you know men are taking care of themselves they're jacking off in showers all the time but showers is a place now if you didn't know the place you could feel the tension you know when things go down and if you go with your friend not in the shower with him but he waits outside you can have some kind of i guess private time if you want to call that in the shower so it's not like there were a prison let me let me emphasize this again i was in atlanta uh uh uh lewisburg when they had the group shower the old prison where they put five guys in the shower together that's is kind of freaky but like some prisons in most prisons now have showers or even if they're outside showers they're like in a stall so your showers who doesn't like to take a shower he's scummy and whatever it is it must be where he stashes the bliss unless he's just having sex no but he's a huge homophobe it's where stash is the place but all homophobes are secretly gay it's so funny all homophobes are secretly gay it's this is so funny that's a good idea this is even funnier because he's in a shower with a guy who eats people many say the point that he'll eventually kill me hey i found something twinsies oh what is this melon baller wait a minute talk about a memory right there when he opened that piece of of uh whatever you want to call it uh ceramic thing they wouldn't have those they don't have the it's a pretty wall but there's a plate where the shower is so we took that shower plate off have made a hole and we used to put a wine in there that brought back that memory real quick romero doesn't stash the drugs in here he comes in here to make the blizz balls so he brings a brick of drugs into the shower without getting noticed yeah oh my god he smuggles the blizz into the prison in the soap dish no in the soap it's in the soap oh yeah that's much better i get it i did it i love the name blizz i know i really never heard of that blizz meth you know speed crank and blizz yes there is one and you know what else i think are you guessing methanol they didn't try it a couple times i mean shoes are on wallpaper laminated flooring crown molding ooh my friend charles loves crown molding he says it doesn't have the crown you have to vote it down are you on drugs he's so high quite frankly we are not on the same wavelength he's so high i did i did meth and i'll tell you what boy you're up for days man uh it's not a drug i like but some people do like it and you can notice them right there teeth are all [ __ ] up they don't have teeth like i got they're [ __ ] up but it's [ __ ] up drug uh don't get hooked on guys don't don't even think about trying meth wait why am i here blizz yes ramirez smuggling the blizz into the prison as marshall soap interesting they make the ward be out this little weasel and they are [ __ ] weasels ag time egg time this is a funny show time that was it he's so [ __ ] messed up oh man i have a lot of energy wait now i'm exhausted i wonder if i can touch the ceiling he jumps like a white boy where were you with that guard great question answer the question oh look at this you're coming out of the edge so funny um look at the guy behind him okay jake don't freak out just stay calm you're on a crazy amount of blizz but your brain still works the wardrobe is yelling at me are you on blues what what makes you think that cause you just told us okay jake don't freak out just stay calm you're on a crazy amount of blizz but your brain still works yep i am nips deep in blizz nice look i love it i was worried you were still a cop but what kind of cop does that much meth well no no not meth blitz yeah that's meth we just call it blizz because smith has a bit of an image problem an image problem for math to blizz like people won't know so now i know i can trust you huh i can tell you how i smuggle in the blizz oh no no no oh this is hilarious nobody would ever do this smart congratulations you wanna vote i never in all my time ever told anybody about my connections in the fencing business in uh the diamonds the diary is coming that is very common don't let the volume scare you i don't remember that if i ever got diarrhea to be honest i don't oh that's disgusting though what do you want peralta look at that prison picture let me stop that look look at that prison picture that's a real prison and i i don't know which one it is and rigid but it's a legit prison you see those little windows all that kind of stuff you could just see out of them that much that's all legit right there guys so that picture's real stop everything romero told me that the blizz is in the stone weasel warden again kill me nah sorry i already made the report to my bosses and they were very pleased glenn couldn't stop smiling glenn you don't know what a big deal it is anyway you're too late we're confiscating all of romero's soap as we speak okay how about this throw me in solitary right that way romero can get to me no glenn's already coming down to me about giving too much solitary that is such bs that would never happen obviously it wouldn't happen you're the warden right that's got to be at least a month in the hole and not only that they would take protective custody of that guy they have snitches in prison just like they're on the street they totally have snitches and they would protect that snitch they'd put him in uh isolation then they'd transfer him that's what they do they'd get him out of that prison uh so this is obviously it's a show and it's unrealistic but it is funny but they definitely would get rid of him he'd be out of that prison and no matter who he is he's out of that prison because the death goes on the wardens record i can't believe this i'm going to die in here and then you're going to he's on the yard guys without dessert oh my god this guy's a psycho is headed towards us look at romero you can tell he's got a sink or something in his hand right there you see that pointing at you i know it's bad the warden took my entire stash of soap apparently someone told him it was blizz and you want me to help you figure out who it was well it was tank no it wasn't yeah it wasn't tank it was me tank i came clean and saved your life now you owe me no i don't i told you what i do to stitches look at this shank a little small i got this peralta is my best friend if you want to kill him you're gonna have to i gotta stop it right here because look at the shank that's a small shank that wouldn't be as much damage i've seen shanks a lot longer than that that's a really small shaky it has to be that long i mean you want to really mess with somebody that's gonna has to be that long you're done man first of all you get you get shanked in the stomach that guy's going to an outside hospital kill him you're gonna have to kill me first wow look at him sticking up riot hits that's when more the [ __ ] happens your squad busted melanie hawkins oh he's getting out of prison it's over he's he wins look at this can i do one thing first i wanted to say goodbye oh wait a minute like i said if you get stabbed in the stomach it's an automatic outside hospital visit because if you get punched they don't know if you got punctured through your stomach wall and you'll die so they take you to the outside hospital or stomach wound like that you're outside hospital that's known i've seen guys try to escape make sure they got a puncture wound because they have to go out that's happened i can't believe you saved my life i would not do it again it really hurt yeah but you did do it and i regret it so much caleb you're ruining this look i just wanted to say thank you for everything you got me through this i'm gonna miss you oh put it there pal the animal's eating them [Applause] oh that's funny that both cops are out oh i'm sorry oh man that's just the way crude what a i'll tell you what that was a great show i'm not going to go into the other part of the show i wanted to show the prison stuff that was pretty cool little guys uh i enjoy the show it's kind of fun obviously so stupid from reviewing other movies to that's not it's brooklyn nine-nine let's it is what it is anyway guys have a great day i enjoyed brooklyn nine-nine again please subscribe if you haven't passed the word make good choices i always say it at the end of videos i don't want you to end up there or in anywhere like i was at because it's not worth it guys have a great day stay well god bless larry out [Music] you

Channel: Larry Lawton

Views: 1,457,982

Keywords: brooklyn nine nine, brooklyn nine nine react, brooklyn nine nine reaction, brooklyn nine nine netflix, brooklyn nine nine review, brooklyn nine nine reviews, brooklyn nine nine plot, brooklyn nine nine notes, brooklyn nine nine cast, brooklyn nine nine reacts, brooklyn nine nine realistic, brooklyn nine nine comedy, brooklyn nine nine funny, reaction, review, react, reacts, discussion, commentary, funny, nine nine, brooklyn 99, brooklyn 99 react, brooklyn 99 reaction

Id: fRUDwe-rB6E

Length: 21min 48sec (1308 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 18 2020