Everything Wrong With Gemini Man In Uncanny Valley Minutes

a minute and four seconds of logos my god in case you confused it with lead Virginia I do love captain me some bad guys who ordered the most conspicuous earpiece in the history of earpieces you might as well be wearing full headphones labeled beats by dre super secret spy edition wait civilian clear I mean sure but isn't she in the line of fire whether she's this close to the table or sitting across the way and for this kind of shot how do you not consider all these civilians in play how's it necessary I was I was impressed impressed as an understatement that shot was so good I'm now convinced this movie exists in the DC EU and this is actually a sequel to the oscar-winning film Suicide Squad apparently that skill shot also reversed the direction of the Train considering in the video he's showing the target is travelling toward his backside but when he took the shot he was definitely facing the direction the train was moving so you burned the photos of your targets after killing them which seems smart but you carry that photo with you from Belgium all the way home to Georgia before you do it which seems dumb as hell also in case you confused it for buttermilk sounds delicious I'm deathly allergic to bees well there's no way that will be important later look for Shadow Man is fine when it's subtle but this random be showing up the over-the-top reaction and spelling out the allergy with the line that's what changes this from foreshadowing to forced shadowing and that's why the sin bailed off told this guy looks like Will Ferrell cost spelling and heavy makeup as john c reilly this makeup follows things i didn't do in my dia ears this movie is so meticulous about giving its eventual red shirts a moral failing but it might as well take place at Camp Crystal Lake this mother just spotted a goddamn drone with the naked eye and he appeared to notice it before it did a Sun flare thing we'll clean up our own messes thank you jeez Linda and Mon has several Tony nominations but I feel like every time she delivers a line in this movie someone was on set shouting less human more robot this time lend up until they got it right also this conversation is taking forever and they're just saying different version is the same thing back and forth I can't see teaching your child to drown expositional dreaming if you are as security consciousness Henry obviously is wouldn't you set your phone's perimeter alarm response to somewhere above casually vibrate maybe even have it under your pillow to make sure you wake up in time you can tell me now or you can tell me five minutes - 15 you can tell me now or you can tell me in five minutes - your teeth hero turns the villains own words and violence against them but it's okay because they're the hero cliche this is the third straight action sequence in the pitch-black dead of night it's very unexcited it's Lassiter oh you know gross you get on this boat you're leaving behind everything and everybody you've ever known it's like that speech Tommy Lee Jones gave in men in black - whoever that other actor was what scares you Obie's drowning okay so new leader in the clubhouse to come back in the climax drowning barely edges out bees one of those for sure's coming back around though if you somehow encounters bees while drowning I will remove five sins because that would be Brad also I like how he's scared of drowning but chooses to live on a swamp is that a swamp or a bayou or a ball do I care more than I should honestly but let's move on regardless it's like watching that very crash into the Titanic and then both vehicles drowning in bees most of this movie's outdoor on location shots still somehow look green screen and it's weird do you have an asset in place I have the truth that it's actually the target only a younger clone of him but you and most importantly the audience are currently on a need-to-know basis now these look like the boots of a man that clearly had to wade through a bunch of water and then sand to get where he is now no no they do not and one percent sucks then Occupy Wall Street slogans somehow ends up in this movie look I am always happy to see Benedict won't believe me but exactly how many hidden secret friends does Henry have there was not be zoast than greasy yacht dude now this guy like let's just say his whole life as a friend X Mach in a moment give it three sins and be on our way that one of those cracks in the rule book of cinema and guessing there's an entire chapter on why sidekicks always have to be eating something does it make them more likeable carefree human or am I just annoyed because it's an hour past lunch and I'm sitting here doing this well they got to eat crackers never ever this was a one-off I swear on my son's life you walked out of the meeting with the principal to take this call so clearly your son isn't that important but I love that you check to make sure he didn't hear you say that that's Jay my off-book kidnappings tortures did you really fly all the way to Colombia and not have this conversation along the way zero Pope's are watching football in this scene I'm pretty sure this is implying that Henry woke up because the birds stop tweeting and I'm just not sure how that works with a tweeting non-stop during the rest of his slumber I get that we were supposed to buy into his superhuman instincts on stuff but come on within five minutes of the movie finally gemini manning law retreated to them seeing each other through 1 2 3 4 & 5 different reflections Angley is laying the mirrors on so thick I'm about to have a symbolism embolism can you shoot a grenade and change its direction without blowing it up that seems questionable and I don't want to Google it because let's be honest I'm already on enough lists I don't need to be added to anymore Tom Cruise riding a motorcycle cliche wait that's not right although Gemini man I Robot bad boys for life maybe we're building something here for will yeah looks like River neo you guys even bragged about digitizing this younger will a hundred percent when from where I sit the believability goes way up if you just put a real person and makeup in a costume here I mean Jesus man this is the tensest motorcycle chase Angley as directed since Sense and Sensibility one of the Gods of this I wonder I know we saw him running out bullets earlier but instead of motorcycling him to death why didn't he just bring more bullets one now I need you to get me to Budapest what is this movie it's like it wants to be a board kind of thing but also a 6-day kind of thing but also a taking kind of thing and it's watered down gravy next to any of those movies yes even 6th day and sixth day is awful thank you someone's Gulf Stream I know just the father give me a minute one of 10 questions my college girlfriend asked me before having sex with me and we're back in Georgia this movie is leapfrogging all over the goddamn globe more than the movie jumper did is that Clive Owen so the dirty jerk in charge of the Gemini project is also the surgeon that patches up the soldier after mission cycle Matt why don't we always draw you home to high-five Jesus obi-wan the battle field is fluid when you're racing through a city also the high ground didn't work out so well for the Hindenburg and the battle with the Titanic now did it in case you confused it with Budapest I just ate but thanks he's your clone it takes this movie nearly half run time to reveal what the trailer told us inside 30 seconds and if we ever needed movie trailer reform its now how's that even possible it's complicated but it's doable all you'd really need is a surrogate mother and a DNA sample Yatta Yatta you think they'd call more doctors or scientists not me naivete just massive amounts of it I get a clone Nelson Mandela Nelson Mandela couldn't kill a man on a moving train from two kilometers away and a clone really shouldn't be able to either without the same level of training years of experience and dedication I'm just saying in the nature versus nurture debate this movie leans way too hard in the direction of nature for me to buy any of it Dolly the sheep was gone in 96 but in 95 hours the she what Dolly the sheep was a breakthrough in cloning science and this movie is suggesting that before sheep a Master Assassin was cloned first seriously take it as a compliment and you are the only one with UN DNA very phrase the boy as his own son as URI lays out all this beautiful exposition I have to ask how does he know all this stuff but if it's common knowledge how did Henry with all his connections not know it and if it's just this guy how convenient but the one guy who knows all this stuff is the same guy that Henry was told to contact we have indications Norman made a breakthrough this is still going on god damn literally 45 percent of this movie its exposition played and there is explain God with DNA you could've literally skip everything you've said in this scene so far and jump right to this I was on the edge of my seat wait what how the hell do you know about that have a big fan somebody is John wicking so hard I think it pulled a hammie tip the bike guy even go Brogan was going to call her and have this conversation anyway why even use the bike messenger at all couldn't he have just as easily recited all that BS to her and so I'll say enough how do you smother but also how does he know we're here takes Henry way too long to realize that he himself is being tracked the scene of him making her disrobe and then inspecting her body for a listening device is creepy why can't he just have a bug sweeper like all the bigshot government covert agents caution has kept me alive no it was computers she liked to be thorough well thorough enough to appear thorough without actually being thorough enough to thoroughly check thoroughly everywhere because movie needs fresh prints to learn a lesson from stale prints a bit later on gas masks and night vision but no bug sweeper you were talking to him the whole time yeah you neither search somebody or you don't see and with the bug in her mouth you won't find that looking at her mostly naked body but do you know how you could have found it say it with me everybody a bug sweeper but he couldn't stop the noise that secret party you did always felt a little different than everybody else does he really gonna win this clone assassin over with in words everybody hates cilantro that's cilantro what are you 23 still a virgin right wait what are you telling me the age of your first sexual experience is hard-coded into your DNA what the hell dying to being a relationship and connect but terrified to let anybody near you look I don't want to beat a dead clone here but this is yet another really dark action scene it's in a cave at night this fight thinks it's on a level of the Bourne - fight and ultimatum but it is diluted and also too dark for me to really be sure all we really know is that he's kicking his own ass for nearly five straight minutes and padding the runtime this is the end Holbrook every day you see his ass kicked on two continents you've never seen rocky full why would the elite super secret new government kill squad put their name on a building like they're advertising and that unnecessarily elaborate G logo on the front court that noise do you think if you go to the naval headquarters there's a seven story tall with a neon sign blaring seal team 6 cuz there's not look at Clive Owen finger picking that keyboard learn to type dude you were the boss of a whole entire kill squad and your master surgeon to boot a guy that keeps glass-encased dueling pistols is either a kill fanatic or someone that's seen Hamilton too many times I love you sir ma'am what am i job what wasn't that bee venom oh cool and the guy we've seen be super cautious about his deathly bee allergy we'll pull out his easily portable and always ready EpiPen and give himself a shot you know like people with B allergies even ones that aren't super prepared super assassins do he does have one right right so it was a test he looks exactly like you but you can't believe here's clone until you prove you're both allergic to bees what a stupid test five to seven percent of the entire population of Earth is allergic to bees also anyone with a bee allergy knows you don't give the shot in your arm you'd give it into the side of the thigh for best contact with the biggest muscle to distribute into the bloodstream hitting the arm might work but it would be slower and a huge risk goddammit amateur surgery and movies should be implied not shown on screen no one benefits from this except the props Department gets to brag a bit this is gross and unsettling for all the wrong reasons they chipped in during your surgery three years ago they are now doing surgery to pull out the tracker and Will Smith's arm but if he's been a walking GPS this whole time why did they need to install the GPS tracker in the boat that set this whole thing in motion we need to shut him down both of us I could have written this entire script after one viewing of the trailer absolutely none of these beats are surprising whatsoever grew up in Philadelphia right everyone on that military vehicle saw your asses I mean god damn oh come on they all survived this this movie is basically a few to anyone that asks for a small amount of logic in action movies this is the second time a 50 year old ass man will go toe-to-toe with a 23 year old perfect assassin guy and I am not having it okay this whole two people in civilian dress taking out dozens of heavily armed and armored assailants his pure ridiculousness but this takes the cake dude leaves his leg obviously visible and then when it's shot instead of pulling it back dives forward into the line of fire I can't the faceless evil minions at least act somewhat competently just for once how many rounds you got left one of course you do I'll take give me a break for 400 Alex fine he lines them up Deadpool style and takes two out with one shot except didn't you say just a moment ago that the neck was the only weak spot and now your bullet just easily went through head armor and then skull then brain then the back of the skull then back of the head armor then the next head armor then the other school then more brain that bullet isn't just magic it's Harry freakin bullet Dini Looney goes full Denzel equalizer at the end and doesn't even appear to have any shame about it whatsoever oh no you're not pulling the old there was another clone all the long twists are you in this movie that's about as easy and boring a twist as I can think of in a movie like this this guy getting up in the fire looks super fake the fires okay I guess but him standing up and it looks fake as hell you could have ended it right there but no you had to go and bring Clive Owen back into the mix he was on his way to Yemen now thanks to you his place is gonna be taken by someone with parents so your idea of lowering the cost and loss of war is to labbayk soldiers so that they won't make their parents sad when they die someone who feels pain fear which we had edited out of him really how are we supposed to take any of this movie seriously when it just throws in stuff like oh yeah we edited out fear and pain from a clone you know because obviously we could do that nobody's son or daughter would ever have to die no it's just about to traumatize orphans Christ this guy's the devil you don't want those ghosts trust me me shooting your dad at point-blank range in front of you those ghosts are just fine and dandy the Gemini labs been dismantled cloning program is history right right right and we can't there are no more clones Oh your check did you good enough for me then I'm really sorry Henry too little too late false contrition is false houston astros I'm looking in your direction Congrats on the promotion I hear they got big plans listen necessary when I'm wrapping up any loose ends we're not teasing any new futures we're just not ending oh my god what happened to the passable version of young will they just forget to finish the effects on the final scene I mean it wasn't perfect the rest of the time but now it looks like lawnmower man Polar Express and gave birth to a melting pile of clay Peter Lord make it stop make it stop Paris just won't understand make sure you click that Bell icon but clicking the little bell icon is how you make sure you get notified every time we release a video so click it delete it the strangest place in the whole universe might just be right here for the first time in my life I'm leaving this city is there a problem between us mr. mark look you realize of course you're right naked dressed I don't see any difference with this thing - you're struggling with this strangeness it's whew don't hate it embrace it through you this is gonna work right cuz I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't do you know what this is it's a bone it's a femur not every day you see a guy get his ass kicked on two continents by himself what the hell are you doing you ain't gonna do no no no I feel like you know ain't like I'm still five years old you know ain't like I'm gonna be sitting up every night asking my mom when's daddy coming home you know

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 875,525

Keywords: wave jockey job, everything wrong with, cinemasins, cinema sins, eww, everything wrong with gemini man, gemini man, movie, review, movie review, cinemasins gemini man, eww gemini man, gemini man review, will smith, will smith gemini man, gemini man cgi, cgi, gemini man full movie, gemini, man, action and adventure movies, gemini man 2019, gemini man movie

Id: Ld9_KyyvEvY

Length: 16min 10sec (970 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 19 2020