Everything Wrong With Fight Club In 11 Minutes Or Less

sorry Dust Brothers I'll probably mistakenly tell everyone that the chemical brothers did this soundtrack all of this has got something to do with the girl named Marla singer well not really right I mean I guess yeah something but not something major she's basically a buddy to one guy and a debate opponent to the other she doesn't really do anything to force the conclusion of this movie between those huge sweating tits and hung enormous the way you'd think of gods is big I tend not to think of God's memories much less the size no wonder this movie lost at 10 Things I Hate About You at the 1999 domestic box-office the clips personal office unit the hovertrax home acts or by incredibly awesome consumer products that are the tits and the best things ever made are satirized for their empty meaning in a movie full of Pepsi product placement you want to see pain swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights see the guys with testicular cancer that's pain this movie's entire plot kicks into gear because the guys seeking drugs actually took his doctor suggestion to attend a testicular cancer meeting several days later and actually remembered to go I'm getting the sense that Brad Pitt is in this movie and I'm getting thirsty all of a sudden but I'm sure that's unrelated well as you know she had a first shot last week uh a girl I'm uncertain whether to feel bad for these poor bastards or take their misery as gallows humor no wonder this movie lost to Anna and the king at the 1999 domestic box-office discount Robert DeNiro Sean Penn protagonist is a dick to anyone who might wish to view the support group scheduled movie breaks a 7-year streak of me forgetting about Batman Returns shaking through that light doesn't begin for another two hours sir okay so what he can still go through security and wait for the flight right this is just the first of many cheats the movie will commit on its path to an admittedly badass conclusion movie makes itself instantly unavailable for in-flight viewing with fantasy plane crash sequence life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip its movie never even once suggests that he has anyone in his life at all that he cares about enough to leave life insurance for once which seems the man for that particular job um anyone seated in the exit row may be called upon to perform emergency procedures not just the window guy this business card passing is only one of many questions I have about this film's final reveal these non first-class seats have Hollywood levels of legroom okay so we know by the end of this that Tyler Durden is actually the narrator so how is he stealing a car and checking on his vibrating luggage at the same time now he see him in a taxi coming back to his apartment so he's he actually in the stolen car or in the taxi massive explosion in Norton's apartment manages to keep Marla singer's phone number completely unburned in fact it looks like it purposely left it unburned Norton calls the number on the front of the card but why is there a completely different number on the back of the card if you asked me now couldn't tell you why I call them maybe because after Marla you literally don't know any other people it's a topless bar despite there being not one single boob in the entire place let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden unreliable narrator is unreliable while the rest of us were sleeping he worked here comes the funny point in the movie where Tyler splices a frame of a penis into a family film but Norton just told us that while the rest of us were sleeping he worked so what family is going to a family film this late in the hour if someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends in the next one begins there were still theaters that had to change reels back in 1999 but this was not the norm and the movie explains it like it was a common occurrence he looked for it you can see these little dots come into the upper right hand corner of the screen and it will ruin movies for you for life until digital projection arrives this port has always bothered me but the total movie cheap for a cheap laugh why the hell but this little girl be crying when she has no idea she's even seen a big [ __ ] even a hummingbird can catch Tyler at work what does that even mean hummingbirds are fast sure but they're not detectives they're odd amazing little freaks of nature who move quickly but the statement still makes no [ __ ] sense this catering company allows its waiters to wear Walkmans and listen to music while providing top-notch attended dinner service so is this really happening in full view of the customers or is it even happening at all again I asked if these people are normal people wouldn't they just walk right up to Ed Norton and ask why he's kicking his own ass thereby revealing the secret to him instead the movie has Tyler say hey to the onlookers and then it cuts away as though nothing awkward was said afterwards so I graduate I call it not long distance I said he says get a job same here you too didn't you just say that you didn't know your dad and your dad left when you were six are you inventing a backstory for Tyler or a backstory for you can I get the icon in cornflower blue absolutely efficiency is pride a number one people how in the holy land of is giving this [ __ ] the same icon in a different stupid shade of blue part of the model of efficiency ham sandwich is 375 the ham sandwich with cheese is 370 Eve something so at most four cents more than the same sandwich without cheese the first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club haha what a silly rule or wait is that the point dammit no wonder this movie lost a deuce Bigalow male gigolo with the 1999 domestic box-office second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club hilarious repeated rule that becomes the film's most memorable piece of dialogue goes utterly unenforced the entire movie and in fact the movie would be impossible if it was even remotely adhered to but Ricky was a God for ten minutes when he trounced the maitre d of a local food court they have maitre d's at food courts yeah like William Shatner discount winner Nimoy self-improvement is master [ __ ] then I am super self improved wait despite the rules we made such a fuss about Fight Club continues growing at an exponential rate movies sex scene with fake nudity is both awesome and creepy this is my house what are you doing in my house to keep the illusion going for the audience Marla helpfully says yeah instead of we were putting all night long don't you remember somebody was it you the cops in this apartment complex you've been on the phone with Tyler Edward Norton the whole time my god I haven't been like that since grade school man that line is so freakin awesome we have to knock us in off and by awesome I mean disturbing as [ __ ] so yeah is he really having sex with Marla and imagining himself doing situps on the floor down below or is he actually doing sit-ups and imagining Tyler having sex with Marla so he's the one that turns off the electricity during the rainstorm and it really goes out so he's real right now so why is she screaming his phone call is another instance of the narrator we see on-screen being physically real while Marla is apparently upstairs moaning - a vibrator she comes over but only to masturbate upstairs while he washes clothes in the kitchen except for they're humping Tyler and Marlow never in the same room from what I've seen it appears dial and Marla aren't even in the same room during that either the saw that has to be just right the best time for explaining the details of the plan is during execution of said plan while security guards are nearby okay so again we just saw Tyler get his face pounded in by Lou a minute ago so how does Norton basically have a clean face right now he still has the bandage on his right hand from the LIBOR and earlier so his face should look like it's in total disrepair right now Tyler dreamed up new homework assignments he handed them out and sealed envelopes well Fight Club escalated quickly what waiting getting out of all this is this making you happy character accidentally chooses his words carefully to avoid being spoiled on his double life too early the director said let's have Tyler eating an apple in this scene it'll make him look like even more of a non-existent [ __ ] I know we need transition shots but where is he coming from right now he doesn't have a job anymore and we've literally not seen him spend any time away from Tyler on his own away from this house since they became friends so where was he was it just so we can have this little he finds out there's all kinds of going on he doesn't know about scene cuz I feel like it is movie that has been shamelessly advertising Pepsi shamelessly shows us an actual Pepsi ad did they paint that huge circle and semicircle on the building when Tyler and crew have done if this dude had a larger bladder can we call this urine ex machina do a movie you clearly showed the narrator in the ballroom following the other waiters cluelessly but now apparently he was physically in the bathroom the whole time ask Tyler and even if there's some magic wand explanation for that but you're telling me not only to Tyler know this dude was gonna need to pee at some point tonight but he knew exactly when Edward Norton gets to beat the [ __ ] out of Jared Leto which is what all of us wanted to do in the 90s after my so-called life and well into the next century for thirty Seconds to Mars and oh by the way he's the only one who ended up winning an Oscar out of this group before you die paint a self-portrait build a house how do they know when to talk and when not to talk how do I know which questions to answer and which ones not the answer he's clearly talking to himself and answering his own questions Tyler's version of hitting rock bottom and letting go means letting go of the wheel but putting on your seat belt so you don't get hurt how does this dilapidated house support all this electricity and sheer number of people this building was close to falling down with one person pretending to be two people living in it and when he first got here he said turning on another light in the house went out we were supposed to kill two birds one stone destroy a piece of corporate art and trash a franchise coffee bar [ __ ] Project Mayhem Army guys had strictly kept it that don't talk about Project Mayhem rule until now because the audience needs to know what's going on also there can't be more than one place in all the world where it would be possible to do these two things at once so let's all think on for the convenient giant ball corporate art installation and it's convenient location otherwise Tyler's assignment is unfollow the shot Bob wait the cops are right there shooting and you still managed to retrieve the massively heavy corpse of Bob without also getting shot yourselves was I asleep had us left well I was my theory especially when the movie kept hitting it so strongly but I'm still at a loss to explain those scenes where you were listening to Tyler [ __ ] Marla or I suppose all the scenes where you literally interact with Tyler how are you blacked out but not blacked out at the same time so I mean I kind of give up that aroma of old sweat like fried chicken hmm old sweat you broke your promise if we can talk to her bum hello no he didn't actually he just asked a few vague questions and never once said anything about Tyler Durden she talked about Tyler Durden because we're the same person this is one of those great mind folks of course it's another reason why we love this movie so much but one question how is he never snapped into his normal self in the middle of doing all this other he's been doing his Tyler Durden he's fine as long as he's in his hometown but when he travels he's suddenly Tyler all the time man Pepsi had this movie by the balls and I can't figure out if it's ironic or not the anti corporate message of the movie comes from disreputable sources but we're supposed to laugh at the empty consumerism throughout the movie I wonder this movie lost a stigmata at the 1999 domestic box-office oh how lucky is that they shot this on the day seven years in Tibet was in theaters guy in boxer shorts with a gun gets all the way from interrogation room out the front door the police station because reasons oh my this cop car has yellow lights or this towing and or parking security vehicle has audible sirens either way once in let's leave the super-secret underground van bomb unlocked all the way up until detonation cool cool bro good idea but since when is Project Mayhem about murder the buildings are empty not killing anyone yeah about that you're about to blow up ten buildings in a huge city with thousands of people driving and walking everywhere did you somehow find a way to make sure people weren't doing that the bomb clock went from 25 50 to 25 45 and a record slow time of 24 seconds your dude I've seen what a gallon of milk or water looks like you do not have 400 gallons of anything in the back of that van yeah no he's dead now how does shoot yourself in the cheek kill your imaginary friend in the back of the hand without also killing you ever since cinemasins began the most requested thing has been TV since and now it's a reality click the link in the description below to check it out and now the audio outtakes have a nice display you do not talk about Fight Club third rule of Fight Club no matter what a stripper tells you there's no sex in the champagne room I mean look at you you domesticated yourself for this girl no you took yourself out of life you've walked a fine line for her and the minute you want a little of it back she walks out on you just like the saying says you know in the poker game of life women are the rake they are the rake when the matrix was first built there was a man born inside who had the ability to change whatever he wanted to remake the matrix as he saw fit it was he who freed the first of us taught us the truth goddamn Jim how long you have too few days you don't look too good yeah don't feel too good either Matt can send me me killing him like a monkey ready to be shot into space semilla I was gonna leave the army of the 12 monkeys into the pages of history forever even occur to me [Music] say it because we're the same person well good for you art I was gonna let it go you was looking so happy just now I was thinking mmm but to tell you the truth I'm glad you figured it cuz I have been dying to tell you

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,809,657

Keywords: mistakes, orson welles, charles foster kane, cinemasins, citizen kane review, everything wrong with, review, citizen kane, eww, cinema sins, wave jockey job

Id: jCFmCMur7tQ

Length: 13min 39sec (819 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 27 2019