Every Schaffrillas Productions Last Place Ranking

disappointment in The Game of Life I'm going to play you a brief clip that perfectly sums up the quality of the movie Brave here it is fortnite I could stop there but let's keep going brave sticks out like a sore thumb in the list of animated feature winners I feel like you can make a case for any of them winning in their respective years but Brave is such a boring derivative mess and I don't think there's any justification for it beating Wreck-It Ralph everyone disliked that but forget about that brave is just really bad it's a generic dumb story with a boring dumb protagonist couple with dumb Side characters and no charm whatsoever they copied Brother Bear brother bear oh I want the spell to change me Mom to paraphrase Will Smith gie there is a lot of gray area in change me Mom I'll be your mommy Merida is the worst Disney princess and Pixar protagonist by far that includes Lightning McQueen and Mater and Dino lad this IDI constantly says it's not her fault that she turned her mother into a bear while also getting no repercussions for that whatsoever even Disney hates her me a moose away a tear in his eye you back me L what the are you talking about now that I'm thinking about it this scene was probably shade since Brave beat the first Ralph movie at the Oscars I mean this movie is worse than Ralph breaks the internet so I'll allow it turn around you idiots there's a bear behind you do you not hear it she she's clearly looking over and taking notes from someone turn around and see the bear it also has some awful humor that you might find in a zti DreamWorks movie like when one of the toddlers jumps into a woman's Bodacious bosom yeah that was a thing I think we can stop there to be honest disappoint in the game of life Pocahontas is trash I found this movie really boring as a kid and it has not gotten better with time I mean it's got some good stuff the songs are solid as usual Colors of the Wind is a real standout and I get a lot of ironic enjoyment from mine mine mine MO is cute there's a single good line why do you think those insolent heathens attacked us because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their Earth despite that the movie is stunningly nonself aware it's honestly kind of offensive how it tries to both sides the issue of white colonists forcing the Native Americans off their lands but I don't even want to get into that cuz it makes me sick the more I think about it bottom line is every character is boring every scene that isn't a music number is lifeless and flat the villain is a complete and utter joke success will be mine at last what why did you say it like that Pocahontas and John Smith can magically communicate with each other no that's not even an exaggeration it's literally some Forest magic that gives them a special heart listening technique why the the the the tree can talk and whip people okay sure why does Mel Gibson voice John smth Smith his voice sticks out like a sore thumb maybe cuz he's not doing a British accent like all the other characters who came from Britain oh God why am I talking about this movie it's bad you know it's bad I can understand liking Brave or Happy Feet but like how do people enjoy this toned deaf absurdly boring piece of garbage just watch Colors of the Wind on YouTube and pretend it's a short film save yourself 81 minutes of your life that you'll never get back okay moving on I don't think anyone is going to get upset with this placement the tale of Ang is cute filler fluff that I have no strong feelings towards whatsoever it's fine but it's the only segment where I start squirming in my seat waiting to get back to the great stuff now I'll take any excuse to see cabbage man whatsoever so I'm cool with it but it's just a little weird to see such a jovial and Whimsical segment given to Ang who's been going through a lot these past few episodes due to the loss of opa remember at the end of the previous episode long Wang or whatever his name was directly threatened about opa oh Ang it'd be a shame if you didn't find your bison Ang still could have done those Zoo Shenanigans but I would have liked it if it tied into a search for Opa in some way or maybe he connects with one of the animals cuz he sees Opa in them as is it's a weird little speed bump in Ang's otherwise laser focus mission to get Opa back throughout the second half of season 2 and I feel like they could have done more with it but hey it's cute so whatever disappointment in The Game of Life even though sideways and I had wildly different rankings in almost every respect there is one placement we unanimously agreed upon one movie with a score so shockingly horrendous that it easily took the bottom spot by a huge margin and that movie is the rise of [ __ ] Walker look the goal of this list is total objectivity when it comes to the quality of the films these scores are attached to for the purposes of this list it doesn't matter that this is the worst Star Wars movie if anything the musical score here is way better than the movie it's attached to but with that said the score is still bad really bad sideways already has an excellent 27-minute video about this topic so I'll take over here and keep it brief this is a score that serves almost exclusively as a greatest hits medley that Miss understands the meaning behind many of the songs it's playing I mean there are a few things I like in here the way the Imperial March plays when the Star Destroyers rise up was kind of cool I like the celebration music at the end quite a bit it's No Return of the Jedi celebration music but it has a nice uplifting feel to it and that final scene contains a beautiful melding of different mystical Star Wars themes I kind of like it once the score kicks in during the lightsaber fight on the second death star ruins it's fairly exciting and I honestly don't hate the fact that Yoda's Theme plays when Luke lifts the X-Wing I think it's an okay call back showing that Luke is following in his old Master's footsteps okay that's enough nice things about rise of Skywalker for one video I think God I'm just so sick of nearly every aspect of this score it overplays so many tracks to the point where where they just lose all meaning particularly the force theme and Palpatine's theme hearing them over and over is absolutely comical after a while I don't need to hear Palpatine's theme when they're just talking about his plan it does nothing for me just cool it with the Palpatine guys there is such a thing as too much Palpatine the use of the main theme when all the ships came to help was honestly cringeworthy and only enhanced the feeling of phoniness present within the actual scene there's a ton of baffling miscalculations like when a heroic Flor accompanies Chewbacca being taken prisoner look guys Chewy's alive isn't this a happy moment oh wait no it's not he's a prisoner plus nobody actually expected him to be dead what is wrong with this movie but for me personally the moment I hate the most and there are a lot of hatable moments I won't mention cuz sideways covered them pretty well but I personally hate the use of the force theme during the climax first of all if Palpatine's theme is blaring as he overwhelms Ry with lightning you think the proper musical response when she gets the upper hands with would be oh I don't know a heroic reworking of Ray's theme is Ry even her own character anymore not only do I hate the mystical beautiful Force theme accompanying Palpatine's face getting melted off and general Pride getting blown out a window I hate it even more cuz the very last movie knew exactly where and how to use the force theme in its climax I'll get to that when I get to it but here's a quick comparison which scene do you think the music fits better [Music] what a [ __ ] show I can't wait to tear into the rest of this movie at a later date but for now just know that the score sucks and I don't even blame John Williams for this the whole movie was a rushed hodgepodge and many of Williams UniQue Ideas were sadly left out in favor of original trilogy pandarin again sideways explains this really well in his video to conclude I think it's absolutely hysterical that after this movie's baffling nomination for the Academy Award for best original score the academy changed the eligibility requirements so that 60% of a film score must be new it can't be a coincidence that this rule came immediately after the ceremony where this pile of dog [ __ ] got nominated there is barely anything original about any of this trash endgame was robbed of a nomination I'm so mad let's just move on fortunately this is the only bad Star Wars score so this will be a much happier video from this point forward disappointment in The Game of Life this is just the word potluck over and over again I literally only added an f-tier to this list because this song sucks so bad congratulations potluck you've ruined Steven Universe first the diamonds and now you disappointment in The Game of Life and the award for the worst DreamWorks movie of all time goes to probably not what you were expecting huh turbo is one of the worst animated movies I've ever seen in my entire life life it is agonizingly bad I can't remember the last time a movie gave me nothing to enjoy quite like this one it's basically the DreamWorks equivalent of the good dinosaur but at least the good dinosaur had amazing Landscapes and like two good scenes turbo has nothing it is worthless every single character relationship and plot point in this movie feels Hollow and artificial nothing is genuine nothing is earned the plot is just Ratatouille again but done without a single iota of that movie's Brilliance oh watch this animal succeed at something he really wants to do but everyone tells him he can't do isn't that inspiring no because that's all this movie is it doesn't have any great themes or additional layers of Brilliance on top of its basic premise it is literally just a snail who goes fast and gets a chance to race that's it it's not dramatic it's not enticing it's not funny good God is it not funny I didn't laugh chuckle smile or even think wow that was a good attempt at a joke once there is nothing here the plot is hysterically predictable at every turn there are no surprises whatsoever which is ironic since this movie has a mothering twist villain well okay maybe it's a good twist villain no it's honestly the worst twist villain I've ever seen in a feature film forget Mr that was his mistake or assistant mayor sheep dweeb this movie's twist villain is on the same level as the Paul Blart m cop twist villain oh what is the surprise it's the racer that the snail idolized for so many years except he's really a bad guy who never once acts like a bad guy until the big reveal scene he tells the snail I'm going to win The Big Race and you're a loser you stupid snail you suck and now that the racer has revealed that he's a big meany head to the snail and literally nobody else he suddenly acts like a huge jerk in front of the entire viewing world something he never did in any of his previous races what the [ __ ] that's not how you write a Twist villain that's not how you write a fing movie The Big Race at the end is embarrassing all the cars have crashed and this snail is super close to the finish line but oh no he's lost his super speed what does he do he just gives up bro you are this close and you have no competition right now are you fuing kidding me he needs a pep talk from his brother to finish the race because this is a movie for babies literal [ __ ] inants well gee it's a good thing this baby movie is chock full of awful racial stereotypes as if it's actively trying to be the next sharktail well news flash it will never be as memorable as shark tail it's an absolute travesty that doesn't deserve to be talked about in the same breath as sharktail let alone films like mega mind Kung Fu Panda How to Train Your Dragon and The Prince of Egypt I went into this Marathon knowing that DreamWorks had its fair share of sucky films and even I was insulted and appalled by by the level of sheer worthlessness present in Turbo DreamWorks do better woo I hope the next movie on the list doesn't get me as angry disappoint in The Game of Life I I mean what the do you want me to say this is one of the worst sequels of all time and one of the worst animated movies I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through it's awful by illumination standards there's enough to talk about here to fill up three whole cinematic disaster reviews but honestly what is the point you know exactly what's wrong with this film if you accept the insane premise that destroys every good aspect the original film had going for it you're stuck with the most frustratingly stupid story Pixar has ever concocted it is astounding how bad at their jobs these spy cars are Imagine A Bug's Life but flick doesn't realize he hired circus bugs even after they tell him they're from the circus multiple times and you basically have car to everyone in this movie is a complete idiot to the point where it's not an exaggeration to call Mater the smartest character as you can imagine this makes for a completely intolerable viewing experience like by intolerable I mean this movie is worse than turbo and Shrek II third yes Pixar has made something worse than the worst DreamWorks movies it's like they were actively trying to make a bad movie with this one like there's two other Pixar cinematic disasters that I'll talk about very very shortly but with those movies they had incredibly troubled production histories that caused them to turn out so shitty they were failed but Earnest attempts to make a good movie but this no no no I refuse to believe that there was ever any intention of making this movie good it's impossible I would legitimately rather rewatch minions than this pile of [ __ ] that's a movie that clearly had less effort put into it yet it manages to be more mature more entertaining and less infuriating than this Pixar movie I am not jesting Cars 2 is a movie for infants and absolutely no one else do I not sound angry enough well that's because I straight up don't care I don't give a [ __ ] about cars and while this movie permanently dented Pixar's morale and sent them on a decade long losing streak it's not like it ruined a franchise I was emotionally invested in this is a terrible idea for a bad franchise and this movie is the the exact Legacy that John Lasser deserves fck you disappoint in the game of life dinosaur is the most boring movie I have ever seen in my entire life what my number one thought when watching this movie was perhaps I treated the good dinosaur too harshly that's how genuinely dull dinosaur is I don't even have much to say about it because good Lord there's nothing to talk about it's nothing but CG Abominations walking through through photo realistic landscapes for 82 minutes straight the only worth this movie has are through its effects which I'm sure were pretty groundbreaking in 2000 but look absolutely horrible today the true travesty of this movie is the fact that despite the awful dated animation the first 10 dialogist minutes were actually really cool with a really excellent score to boot but yeah the moment the characters start talking it all goes to [ __ ] no charm no dramatic weight no levity nothing nothing of worth here whatsoever this is the worst Disney animated movie I've ever seen by a landslide but it's not even worth getting mad over it didn't insult me with its persistent awfulness like Cars 2 or Turbo it's just pure unadulterated boredom the only time I felt anything throughout this entire experience was whenever the Love Monkey opened his mouth I felt an overwhelming urge to strangle him Seaside Galaxy purple coins by the seaside literal Agony the most drawn out boring mission in the entire game it's not fun to take a lap around this entire galaxy and do nothing but grab these insanely spread out coins to add insult to injury instead of spawning the star where you spawn since you know that's where you'll end up after grabbing all the coins it spawns the star on the exact opposite side of the map wow how delightful yeah not even the be suit can save this travesty a Chinese lesson is awful and not because it's probably definitely definitely racist it's because it's broken up into five different parts all of which sound exactly the same none of which sound good thanks to Chris's mediocre vocals and everyone else mainly just speak singing about how disgusting their foods are it barely even qualifies as a song and can't be categorized as anything but a complete and utter failure if this was a tier video it would get an F because it sucks so much okay let's get to the not horrible stuff if disappoint in earwig and the witch is worse than Cars 2 what every wrong decision that could possibly have been made during the production of this movie was made let's start with the elephant in the room the animation after so many stunning handdrawn features gibli finally made the jump into the realm of 3D animation and yeah it looks hideous it looks worse than Toy Story the first computer animated film ever made in 1995 there's like one or two cool moments with the visuals and the expressions are occasionally at least but for the most part this is pure garbage the character models the environments the textures it all just looks like [ __ ] but that's just the tip of the iceberg here as an added bonus the two main characters in this movie are horrendously unlikable and they remain that way for the entire duration of the film earwig starts the film off as a spoiled brat who manipulates people in order to get what she wants all the time and she ends the film off as a spoiled Brad who manipulates people in order to get what she wants all the time she learns absolutely nothing she's the same unlikable and irritating [ __ ] throughout the entire film's runtime she butts heads with this witch lady who treats her like garbage all the time and never shows an ounce of kindness until the very end which oh boy we will get to 95% of the movie we just see her rudely ordering her new adopted daughter around and yet you're not rooting for earwig to get back at her because earwig is so insufferable but you're not rooting for the witch lady either because she's a huge [ __ ] this movie is actual hell I guess the Mandrake is okay and potentially interesting but the movie doesn't ever feel like focusing on him that much so [ __ ] me I guess another really cool ju just super awesome thing about this movie is that it's the only gibli film I would describe as derivative and that's too kind of a word to use this [ __ ] is like if they took a greatest hits medley of previous gibl films and then ran it over with their car enjoy there's a talking cat companion and witches because remember Kiki's Delivery Service there's a young girl forced to work extremely hard for a mean old boss lady cuz don't you love Spirited Away oh look they got to make breakfast and have breakfast together and Bond as a family and the demons help with their breakfast because yes I also watched how's Moving Castle wow this guy is a writer I I guess we needed to dash a whisper of the heart too sure why not throughout this entire gibli ranking I never once felt like any of their films were copying their previous ones until we got to this dumpster fire at least Cars 2 didn't blatantly copy what came before it at least it had good-looking animation at least it actually finished it [ __ ] story this movie abruptly ends out of nowhere with none of the character conflicts actually resolved earwig successfully C pranks the witch lady and gets both her and the mandre absolutely furious at her with only 20 minutes left in the movie she then goes into the mri's private quarters without permission finds out they were in a band with her mom and now the landrake suddenly likes her and so does the witch who literally has not said a kind thing to her once throughout this entire movie suddenly in the last 10 minutes of the film it's a happily ever after now 6 months pass and they all suddenly love each other for some reason and everyone in the house is a slave to the spoil brat ear wake and her mom suddenly comes back with no explanation as to where she was or why she came back at all isn't that great [ __ ] this movie its few likable elements have been done before in much better gibli movies it's characters are horrendously unlikable its animation is insanely unpleasant its story is objectively unfinished this is my least favorite animated movie of all time if I were Goro Miyazaki I would flee the country at this point I would literally never be able to look my father in the eyes again let's all Just Pretend This Never happen and move on with our lives disappoint in The Game of Life bro one time I dreamed I was a butterfly but then I woke up and I was like not a butterfly bro can you believe that yeah the very first Persona intro ever kind of stinks Revelations Persona doesn't excite you right off the bat with its intro it just forces you to stare at outdated CGI assets while Melo piano music tries its best to put you to sleep I did kind of like the building at the end turning into a Block Fort next to a hospital bed it's a pretty smart way of foreshadowing something that happens in the game but honestly this is the only aspect of this intro that piqu my interest knowing how Dynamic and magical Persona intros will get later on plus knowing that there are still good memorable intros from this era of gaming just SNS this one even further no thank you disappointment in The Game of Life to be perfectly honest it feels really unfair to rank Surfs Up to wave Mania as a part of this list for one simple fact it is not a movie it is a featurelength commercial and no I'm not exaggerating this isn't like other movies that are filled with excessive product placement yet at their core can still be considered feature films like space j m 2 Ralph breaks the internet or even the Emoji Movie which I'm sure you all expected to be at the bottom of this list and now as we speak you're probably editing your smug comments that read I will bet my entire life savings at the Emoji Movies at the bottom of this list there has never been a more obvious bottom spot in any ranking video ever and you're editing those comments to just say oh [ __ ] you see none of you understand the soul sucking awfulness that is this commercial and yes I fully consider surfsup 2 to be nothing more than a commercial for WWE this product was conceived as a commercial when WWE approached Sony regarding making a product that would help expand their brand and reach a new generation of audiences so yeah it is a textbook advertisement that they slapped the surf up IP onto because they fundamentally misunderstood everything about the original movie every single element of this commercial is wrong spoilers for later in the list but the original Surfs Up is pretty Kino as the kids say it has an extremely unique mockumentary format like the entire movie presented as if it's a documentary with shaky cam characters acknowledging the camera crew and just an overall Vibe of authenticity it's one of the most unique animated films I've ever seen solely based on how it's presented do you think this commercial kept that framing device up or evolve the concept in some way who the do you think you're kidding of course not that would take effort and why put effort into a literal WWE commercial they just film it like any normal quote unquote movie would be filmed they could only be bothered to make like 12 character models for this commercial the WWE standin animals are incredibly flat boring characters cuz we can't do anything that paints any of them in a negative light cuz that would go against the purpose of this advertisement but you know who we're perfectly fine with painting in a negative light the [ __ ] main character Cody in this is insufferable mainly cuz he straight up just is not the same character he's an annoying prick who's overly obsessed with winning and being famous even though the entire point in the first movie was that he learns that winning and being famous isn't important he learned all that from his Idol in a really compelling way oh oh I'm sorry what Idol big Z never heard of him apparently this whole time contrary to everything the first film tells you Cody was never inspired to be an amazing Surfer like big Z he was inspired by penguin John Cena and his Legion of Super Friends in this commercial big Z might as well have never existed and Cody's entire backstory and motivation as a character is thrown in the garbage I have never seen a more perfect example of character assassination in my life the writers of Game of Thrones could probably watch this commercial and say to themselves well at least we didn't [ __ ] up that badly I could tell 5 minutes into this ad that it was one of the worst things I've ever seen But the thing that really solidified it was later in the movie when they're sailing over lava and Cody goes out of his way to try and sabotage tank which in case you've seen the first movie which these writers clearly did not is the thing that tank does to other Surfers because he is the villain but let's have our protagonist do the same thing in a much more dangerous scenario in the second installment after he's already learned a lesson in the first installment and that valuable lesson he learned in the first movie was not don't attempt to murder people in order to win a competition because that's something he already fuing [Music] knows as a result of this chicanery he nearly gets his best friend chicken Joe killed in molten lava and doesn't seem to be concerned about Joe's life he's just concerned about justifying his shitty actions to the WWE so they rightfully tell him to [ __ ] off and he does and you might as well just end this here who even cares anymore Surfs Up two makes Cars 2 look like The Empire Strikes Back and it makes earwig and the witch look like Citizen Cane dear ofan Hansen more like dear God it's so much better than this piece of [ __ ] ass I have not hated a product this much since Artemis fell which if you remember is my actual least favorite movie of all time this train wreck literally only exists so Sony can suck off these WWE Stars while destroying everything the original surf sub had going for it it has absolutely nothing to offer and should not be watched by anyone regardless of if they like the original film or not Vince MC man fantasizes about drinking milk directly from a fish's udder yep disappoint in The Game of Life to be honest I didn't even rewatch it for this ranking I have nothing more to say about this movie it's all been covered at length in its own dedicated video twice but for the sake of this rankings cohesion let's tldw that vid real quick this movie sucks it assassinates Ralph's character and turns him into a blithering man baby who freaks the [ __ ] out all the time cuz his only friend a 10-year-old child wants to hang out with other people and and do other things sometimes both of them are horrible friends to each other in ways that don't make sense based on how they acted in the first film also instead of exploring a logical concept for a recit Ralph sequel like online gaming they're in the internet cuz we have to acknowledge products and eBay is a major plot point and also Google is here Isn't that cool I love Google so much Amazon is here too wow that's amazing I can't yes thank can you believe they got YouTube for this I'm so happy about this oh look at that it's like Twitter you want to buy now you want to buy these now oh my Disney oh my God that's so cool we're at the Disney World Place wow Buzz Lightyear to infinity and beyond wow it's Baymax that's nice wao it's Star Wars I [ __ ] love Star Wars baby he likes to say I am and that's the PO all the Disney here and that's Epic up from the hit 2012 film the movie tries to tell a compelling story about letting your friends go but it utterly fails cuz of how bastardized the characters are and because the directors forgot that leaving your game was what the villain did in the first movie but now vanelope will do it with no conversation about it or Consequences there's a good song and spam tin shows up that's all the good stuff in this movie that's that's it it didn't have time for other good stuff like Felix or Calhoun or jokes that were actually funny cuz Ralph was too busy making an eye make tutorial oh look at that he's aing oh my God I love EP I can't believe I failed the baking so bad oopsies is this good yet is this worth the [ __ ] Academy Award for best three out of 10 it's the worst movie they made this decade by a landslide and I don't want to think about it ever again I'm sure I will however anyway yeah that's the only outright bad Disney animated movie this decade now for the mediocre ones this is going to take a while disappointment in The Game of Life Ice Age five do you hear me five they made five of these DreamWorks didn't even make five of any of their franchises not even Shrek how does a studio only make 13 movies and five of them are Ice Age what a sick joke you'd be hardpressed to find any animated franchise that's nearly as creatively bankrupt as this one Despicable Me may be approaching five movies and most of them may be terrible but at least two of those are just filling in backstory and not desperately trying to prolong a story that has absolutely no business continuing whatsoever the most offensively bad thing about ice AG 5 is not any of its content but just simply the facts that it exists at all because like there's nothing to talk about here it doesn't make me angry like your earwigs or your cars twos it's just so boring all of these movies are about the characters taking a journey somewhere making their way through dangerous set pieces and eventually getting where they need to go and saving the day yay in this one Scrat finds a fuing UFO which was technically set up as a background gag in the first Ice Age movie which means they clearly plan this whole series out ahead of time oh my God great work Blue Sky thanks for tying the entire Ice Age Saga together by doing this Buck returns which is kind of nice cuz he's pretty epic but he also kind of drives the entire plot leading the group and coming up with a plan there's also these good dinosaur ass villains who are chasing him and trying to prevent him from preventing the apocalypse cuz they're stupid so the villains only have beef with him and he's basically in charge of everything so what does that mean the other characters get to do oh nothing thanks for asking Diego and his girlfriend whose name I don't know are upset the kids are scared of them there is one scene at the beginning to establish this and then it's never brought up again until the end of the movie where the kids are suddenly not scared of them cuz they help save the world wow what a great and well-developed plotline honestly I completely forgot the lady tiger was even in this movie until I saw her again at the end and was like oh yeah she exists cool Sid does nothing until they get to this magic place with a bunch of animals who are old but use magic power crystals to be young and the lady sloth likes him but then he accidentally ruins the crystals and turns them all old and the voice actors don't even try to sound old they just have the exact same voices cool good good job Manny is obnoxious and out of character cuz he doesn't like his daughter's fiance which is fun cuz that means we got even more cliches my favorite it truly is amazing how they do every cliche imaginable with the daughter character in these movies like I think she deserves a medal for most cliche character of all time even the scratch [ __ ] is just tired and boring at this point Ice Age can go [ __ ] off they took a relatively grounded and laidback first film and turned it into this obnoxious farce of a franchise I am so burnt out from watching these movies that I never want to see any of them again fortunately this is a franchise that has had practically zero cultural impact despite having five movies that raked in billions of dollars at the box office nobody talks about Ice Age except when they say how much they want to kill the baby for some reason no one gives a [ __ ] about these movies and I couldn't be happier about that just put these animals out of their misery already they deserve to go extinct thank you bye also don't even come at me in the comments saying I missed the buck wild movie that was in Blue Sky they're dead now that was some other shitty Studio I don't have to watch it [ __ ] you disappoint in The Game of Life surprise surprise it's gunship calvalry this level fing sucks it was terrible in the original Lego Star Wars but the Complete Saga just made it worse somehow we might as well talk about both versions of the level since they both collectively make up the bottom spot so originally this level was an auto scroller which moves so fast and includes so many obstacles that it's practically impossible to avoid taking damage and I hope you don't die because guess what there's barely any checkpoints so if you make it to the end of a section and die you're starting that whole section over instead of just respawning where you died like literally every other level the ending part where you shoot things with a timer on screen is Mindless but perfectly serviceable at least so yeah that level was terrible Complete Saga more or less entirely redesigned it making a few great improvements by removing the auto scrolling and letting you respawn exactly where you died but somehow the level is worse now because of the use of these [ __ ] bombs dragging these bombs through large stretches of the level multiple times to blow up multiple targets is so tedious and unfun that it's insane these things get caught on everything enemies Bottomless Pits you name it you can take a bomb so close to where it needs to go and then have it blow up through no fault of your own meaning you got to waste even more time making another trip with another bomb and hoping the same thing doesn't happen again there's still a [ __ ] ton of lasers and things that can kill you so if you die you better hope your bomb doesn't roll away and get destroyed by the time you respawn if it does oh well get [ __ ] that's gunship Calvary for you man [ __ ] gunship Calvary all my homies hate gunship Calvary that's all I have to say because I don't want to be associated with gunship crappily crappy you know I was going to rank that Mario Kart character last but then I remembered pett exists in Mario Kart tour and she's technically an original character not an alt costume so congratul ulations peachette you're the worst character in Mario Kart history I guess she was technically part of a Mainline Mario game but she absolutely shouldn't have existed there and it's no different here she's so boring you're just playing as Peach with a slightly different dress and hair yeah she's an inoffensive addition to the tour since it's already loaded with alternate costume versions of pre-existing characters but that's the thing why would you ever choose to play as Peach Ed if you happen to have access to so many other cooler costume options for peach the only compliment I can give this thing is that they actually gave her a unique voice in tour that sounds like a mixture of Peach and Toadette got you just like a princess it's a nice detail but it can't save such a worthless inclusion through and through I'm certain that if she showed up in a Mainline Mario Kart people would be livid speaking of which disappointment in The Game of Life wao what a funny coincidence the worst Star Wars movie has the worst Star Wars crawl when I was watching this movie in theaters and I saw the words the dead speak appear on screen I turned to Patrick and whispered wow I hate this movie already if the Revenge of the Sith title crawl opening up with war was just a tad corny this is a fuing tsunami of corn we're reaching corn levels that shouldn't even be humanly possible right off the bat I cannot take anything about this movie's premise seriously because it opens with the dumbest most cringeworthy line in any of these crawls and it just gets worse from here the galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast a threat of Revenge in the Sinister voice of the late Emperor Palpatine uh that's a pretty majoring thing to drop on us that wasn't even hinted at in the previous two movies you know how I just said the opening crawls should draw a straight line between the previous movie and the current one it seems JJ missed the memo and instead drew the most incoherent squiggle you could possibly imagine not only is this insane Revelation completely out of nowhere and in congruent with the last movie but it doesn't even make sense on its own oh no it's in his Sinister voice well how do you know it's him and not just someone impersonating him and why would he threaten Revenge when all that does is give the Rebellion a chance to stop him how come he doesn't just reach out to kylo Ren the person he actually wanted to talk to and what kind of broadcast can just reach out to the entire galaxy like that why there would have to be some sort of massively online multiplayer game that everyone's playing in order for Palpatine's message to reach as many people as possible but what sort of game would have such a radical player base if only fortnite were here yeah the message that the opening crawl speaks of can only be heard in a fortnite event this is real this is not a joke this is what movies are now excuses for fortnite tie-ins you're welcome Society anyway the second paragraph is whatever just the typical response you'd expect from Leia and the typical thing you'd expect Ry to be doing however this paragraph is a good example of another problem with a crawl really excessive capitalization the first six movies use capitalization very sparingly only emphasizing the really important [ __ ] Death Star Galactic Empire Army of the Republic they only turned on caps lock once in the three even number crawls and the odd-numbered ones don't use it at all the previous two sequels ramped it up a bit but it still felt restrained and impactful they only capitalized first order Republic and resistance aka the main factions in the Galaxy this use of capitalization could have been better which we'll get to later but it's not bad JJ Abrams himself directed a movie that uses capitalization in its crawl in a perfectly fine way and yet for some ungodly reason he capitalized everything in this one Revenge Emperor Palpatine General Leia Orana Ray first order kylo Ren this one crawl has twice as much capitalization as the entire original Six film Saga it doesn't work it looks ridiculous nothing in this text holds more weight than anything else nothing matters when everything's capitalized nothing will be the only thing you needed to capitalize was either revenge or Emperor Palpatine because that's where the emphasis should be pick one of those preferably Emperor Palpatine and then you're good Why Can't This movie do literally anything right also Rey The Last Hope of the Jedi just call her The Last Jedi you F cowards it'd be a cool way to connect with the title of the last film and the opening crawl of the force awakens that calls Luke The Last Jedi I've never seen a single film Trilogy that hates itself more than this one anyway the last paragraph sucks it's cool that they say the phantom emperor as a subtle reference to Phantom Menace that also fits this movie story well but everything else about this last paragraph is just so vague and inconclusive kylo Ren rages in search of the phantom emperor okay well where is he going and what is he doing this last paragraph feels almost as confused as the movie does I mean it starts with meanwhile even though they just used the word while in the second paragraph can we get a proof reader in here but in addition its only concern is setting up the immediate first scene of this film without considering its status as the final crawl of the entire Saga one thing I love about Return of the Jedi crawl is how it takes the information meant to lead you into this movie's first scene and uses it to say something really conclusive about the fate of the Galaxy in its last paragraph this looks like a cringey EDG Lord fanfic oh don't worry guys kylo's going to destroy any threat to his power oh gee whiz but yeah this doesn't feel like the opening text of an ending chapter in the slightest at best it's generic and vague at worst it actively makes me want to vomit it's unfocused poorly conceived embarrassing horrible pad poorly prepared vile unappetizing and just overall miserable so overall better than the movie it came from disappoint in The Game of Life oh Roadside Attraction this is commonly considered one of the absolute worst episodes of Gravity Falls if not the worst and like yeah the funny thing is this isn't even a Bad episode by the standards of the average cartoon it's perfectly fine but when the rest of this Show's episodes are on the quality level of the Cy te Chapel the [ __ ] macaroni art isn't going to cut it here first let's talk about the actual content of the episode itself it's a generically typical road trip with Dipper trying to find a rebound Crush after Wendy rejected him which is still a plotline we have to deal with I guess so he meets all these girls at different stops on the road except oh no they suddenly all appear at the same place and call him out for cheating on them I know this show is silly and you don't need to take it super seriously but this is really contrived and dumb there's not even any Supernatural elements in the episode until the last third where Grunkle Stan gets kidnapped by a spider lady which really isn't that interesting also out of nowhere this episode just decides that candy has a crush on Dipper which is not only really rushed and forced but also a weird thing to introduce six episodes after establishing a wellth thought out potential romantic connection between Dipper and Pacifica and two episodes before the multi-part series finale that doesn't even bring this crush up again speaking of which that's the real kicker that makes this episode stick out in people's minds in a bad way despite being one of the final five episodes of the show and coming after multiple plot focused episodes that all feature the new character Ford in some capacity this episode adds nothing to the show no Ford no plot relevance nothing it feels like a Lost season 1 episode and it probably wouldn't have such a Negative reputation if it wasn't placed at such a dramatic point in the show like the previous episode established how dangerous bill is and how we should stay safe from him inside the Mystery Shack so why are we now going on a road trip I don't mind the fact that we're taking a breather in between spooky plot episodes but can the Breather make sense and be entertaining the jokes are still solid as usual and there's nothing actively awful here but yeah you'd be hard pressed to find any Gravity Falls episode worse than this one however if this is the bottom of the barrel for this show I think that's a Surefire sign that the show is pretty damn good appointment in The Game of Life well here we are folks the final Cur call the absolute bottom of the barrel worst of the worst illumination movie by a massive Landslide is hop as soon as I saw that the opening credits were using the default iMovie font I knew I was in for some truly Transcendent awfulness the likes of which all the other illumination movies could only dream of aspiring towards and yet even with this harbinger of cringe in place I don't think it fully hits you at first just how bad the hell spawn you're about to consume is when you first start watching this movie you think to yourself oh hey this isn't the worst thing I've ever seen it's just kind of a regular bad movie but then you start to notice some things you notice that the main character bunny is the most unlikable character in the film you notice how the plot is going absolutely nowhere until the last 20 minutes or so you notice the questionable racial implications at play with the villain as well as the fact that he is genuinely more sympathetic and deserving to win than the quote unquote good guys eventually your brain starts to collaps in on itself into a [ __ ] black hole of embarrassment that you feel for everyone involved with the production of this movie you need to stop this when the bunny sat down to ask David Hasselhoff for advice with his internal conflict I had to ask myself out loud is this real is this a real movie that I'm actually watching right now or is this a c prank any minute now Justin crank is going to pop up from behind my computer and say psyche there's no way actual human beings created a film this abysmal but they did it this was illumination second movie and their first and only liveaction animation hybrid I guess it's nice that they learned from this horrific mistake and never tried to do anything like it again but it's not so nice for me because I still had to sit through it hop is a movie about e EB who is a bunny whose dad is the Easter Bunny and he wants him to take over the Easter Bunny role but EB does not want to be the successor because he wants to be a drummer so right off the bat you can see that this movie clearly influenced Whiplash and succession two pieces of art that pale in comparison to the sheer cinematic Masterpiece that they shamelessly ripped off anyway EB escapes to LA and meets James Marsden and generally ruins his life by being selfish and annoying he trashes the mansion that belongs to James marsden's sister's boss who is a character we never see so I don't even know why this is a plot point he acts like a [ __ ] bag to this little girl who can't sing and then pretends it was James Marsden saying that in a ventriloquist act then they uproot the entire pageant and sing I want candy which I think is perhaps the most annoying song ever written you need to stop this uh-oh James Marsden needs to make sure nobody knows the bunny can talk and he's constantly got to hide him but then they just go to a Diner and the bunny talks to the waiter and she doesn't care that he's a talking bunny so does it matter if people know the bunny can talk or not because it doesn't seem to matter at all that's the cool thing about this movie not only do none of the scenes flow together into a coherent narrative but the scenes also just happen without any consequence whatsoever like I said the boss who owns the Mansion isn't in the movie so it doesn't matter that they wrecked his house the girl gets mad at James Marston for embarrassing her in front of everyone at the pageant but then that's forgotten about entirely and seems resolved by the end and then I guess no one gives a [ __ ] that a bunny can talk so who cares about hiding the bunny EB goes to audition for David Hasselhoff's Talent competition and yes this is a major plot point and the bunny's entire plan for getting famous and he asks David Hasselhoff you're not surprised that I'm a talking rabbit and he says my best friends are talking car get it it's it's a reference to a TV show that aired from 1982 to 1986 one that children in the year 2011 when this movie came out would have intimate knowledge of did nobody on the set of Night Rider tell David Hasselhoff that this show wasn't real David that wasn't a real talking car buddy I think his brains might have gotten fried when he got hit with that blast in the Spongebob movie but oh no all is not well in the world of hop 2011 because the three bin ninja rabbits that were sent by E's dad to track him down are tracking him down for some reason even though eie and his dad are talking bunnies these girls don't talk cuz I guess that required effort to write dialogue for them eventually eie tricks them by faking his own death and pretending he got boiled alive even though that's clearly just a turkey he then realizes is oh no I just remembered that they're probably going to assume James Marsden killed me and then kidnap him oh well I'm sure he'll be fine and then he abandons James Marsen in the exact scenario I just described plays out what a cool and likable character remember when the sister thought he was a stuffed animal and hugged him and he used that opportunity to sniff her hair what a cool character anyway believe it or not we haven't gotten to my least favorite thing about the movie yet so the Easter Bunny employs all these chicks to make the eggs at his Factory but Carlos the literal second in command at the factory feels like after all these years of hard work he deserves to take over the business especially since EB doesn't even want to do it yet for some bizarre reason EB's dad only wants bunnies to be in charge of Easter and won't even consider a chick taking over by the way the bunnies have British accents and Carlos has a Hispanic accent so yeah like I said for some bizarre unexplained reason EB's dad really does not want a chick to be in charge of the factory so Carlos decides that he wants to take over by force and seize the means of production for his fellow workers but uh oh that's evil so it's a good thing the good bunnies can fight back against those evil chicks and maintain control in the end and force the chicks to do their bidding what a happy ending okay so uh putting aside any readings you might want to take away from the text on your own time if you just look at what happens in the movie on the Baseline surface level Carlos literally does nothing wrong until the last 20 minutes I'm serious for two-thirds of this movie he merely tries to imply to E's dad that he should consider letting a chick take over the business so if the movie wants him to be the antagonist it doesn't work cuz he does nothing antagonistic there's no reason why he shouldn't be put in charge of the factory and he's trying to make that fact clear peacefully when that doesn't work he takes over by force and it feels warranted cuz he deserves it more than this stuffy old [ __ ] and his piece of [ __ ] son I was actively cheering when he was trying to kill EB cuz I don't know how you could watch this movie and not want eie to die a slow painful death literally the only bad things Carlos does is trying to kill James Marsden like yeah okay he didn't really do anything bad so that's kind of [ __ ] and replacing Easter candy with bird food which is just such a dumb thing the movie pulls out of its ass in the final act like they never established that Carlos had a problem with children eating candy it reeks of something they just threw in there so the children in the audience could finally have a reason to root against Carlos because it's blatantly obvious that he was right the whole time but do you want to know the real kicker the most insane [ __ ] thing about all of this it's the fact that at the end with absolutely zero hesitation after EB requests it E's dad appoints James Marsden as the new co- Easter bunny wait a minute Mr E's dad I thought only bunnies could be the Easter Bunny what exactly is the problem with the Hispanic chicken who's been your loyal second in command for years being in charge of Easter what's so different about this mediocre guy with zero qualification that allows him to take over what's the difference huh what's the difference [ __ ] but yeah James Marsden gets to be co- Easter Bunny just cuz he really wanted it and he really loves the Easter Bunny I mean there was also a whole montage where he did some training for it in her cut with Carlos also doing similar training for it they both equally wanted it except one was actually qualified for it so yeah what was the difference here Mr EB's Dad huh okay that's enough complaining about this movie I think it's time I talk about the stuff that I actually liked about it here goes and that's everything I liked about it wow that was a pretty short list essentially this movie is on the exact same level of quality as the liveaction Smurf movies except without Gargamel in them and Gargamel was the only good part of those movies so yeah there is nothing of value in this movie whatsoever and it is legitimately one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life you really have to get on my bad side to be a one out of 10 movie but this one absolutely earned it I [ __ ] despise everything about it and I sincerely hope people don't actually watch it every time Easter rolls around I can't think of a more fitting end to such an abysmal Soul crushing ranking I'm I'm free I'm free [ __ ] disappointment in The Game of Life uh and the single worst Disney movie of all time is is say it dinosaur I'm sorry but this is one of those movies where I just legitimately cannot understand how anyone likes it outside of nostalgia every single time I see someone talking about how much they love this movie they always say something like I adored it growing up or I've always loved this movie and always will like would anyone think that way if they didn't grow up with this I'm not saying it's devoid of quality elements I mean James Newton Howard score is excellent the opening 7-minute sequence with no dialogue is really strong and some of the photorealistic backgrounds look very nice but like do you seriously consider alidor to be one of the best Disney protagonists do you consider Kon whose name I had to Google to be one of the best Disney villains do you think this story is one of the most compelling tales ever told by Walt Disney Animation Studios they're just walking it's just dinosaurs walking to a place for 80 minutes all as the most cliche characters ever go through the most cliche dialogue and arcs ever and I hate to say this cuz I know this animation was state-of-the-art when it came out but God nowadays this is the single ugliest looking Disney film all the character models and a lot of the environments just look like complete [ __ ] it's so boring there's nothing interesting to look at there's no interesting characters there's no interesting story how do you make a film about dinosaurs one of the objectively coolest things to ever exist this dull and monotonous I can't even really say that I hate this movie cuz that implies that I have any passionate feelings about it at all and I just don't it means nothing to me and I can at least say that I have feelings about any other Disney movie so I guess that means I got to rank them higher than something that makes me feel completely empty throughout the majority of its runtime but you know what I am nothing if not tolerant to other people's opinions I don't care if you disagree with me about a piece of media I want saw someone rank Majora's Mask as the worst Zelda game of all time and my only response was that's a bit silly so you know what if you want to go ahead and write your own video essay on why dinosaur is an underrated Masterpiece and if you send it to me and I think it's wellmade enough I'll go ahead and promote it on my Channel's Community tab in fact this applies to any movie I speak ill of in this video cuz the last thing I want is for people to parent my opinions mindlessly without forming their own the only thing that annoys me more than that is the Love Monkey no one's opin of a movie is Gospel especially not mine it's good to get different perspectives on movies and I would really love to hear some non- Nostalgia related reasons why people think dinosaur is good like like I'm actually genuinely curious so please enlighten me and until you do I'm going to go back to not thinking about this movie at all because it is one of the biggest empty voids of a film I have ever seen at least James Newton Howard brought his aame but it wasn't enough to save this travesty disappointment in the The Game of Life wow it's GBA Shy Guy Beach there it is as a kid I didn't mind this course too much cuz I don't know cool beach level is cute but then I sat down to play it for this video and holy [ __ ] this course is horrible the little round Islands you have to hop between in order to not slow down or awkward the trick ramps are tiny and unsatisfying the cannonballs that land on the course can be pretty unfair when they come out of nowhere and on top of that the course is ugly super Circuit is a pretty good-looking Sprite based game but its visuals have not been translated over well to we's engine what with the choppy water and stale background there is actually no reason to ever pick this course aside from the Pretty music it offers nothing but a headache number 10 GBA battle course 3 this one takes the L or rather four of them because the L-shaped obstacles are super annoying and constantly get in your way when you're trying to make it back to the center aside from those there's nothing going on in this map it [ __ ] sucks don't pick it disappointment in The Game of Life oh my God dry dry desert is so boring like it's functional it works it's got a few cute attributes like this giant tornado and the big piranha plant in the sarlac pit over here but by God is there nothing else to enjoy about this one just looking at footage of it puts me to sleep it only exists to be the token desert track without offering anything unique that allows it to stick out from what is traditionally the most boring biome in Mario Kart there's no train no pyramid no bizaar no giant Dry Bowser mouth that you go into okay bone dry Dunes also sucks but that's another story yeah I got nothing don't be the one friend at the party who picks this course everybody will resent you for the rest of your life if you do so that's probably not true but oh well the course is still lame let's move on the only real dud in this mode in my opinion is til a cart wow it tilts how amazing yeah a Barren layout and pretty annoying gimmick kind of dragged this one down for me it's not awful but it's absolutely never my first pick props for calling back to the Mario Sunshine bonus levels with its aesthetic though disappoint in the game of life I feel like most people automatically rank the track with the unfortunate inexplicable screen shaking gimmick at the very bottom but you know what I'm going to dare to be different and say that broken Pier is even worse between the sharp turns gaping Holes in the Floor and downright miserable atmosphere that can just be summarized as boo Lake but worse this is without a doubt the most actively unfun course in the entire game for me and on top of all that the music sucks truly a miserable borderline unplayable experience I would not wish upon anyone at the bottom you got battle course one it sure is the textbook example of a battle mode course with nothing memorable or exceptional about it disappointment in The Game of Life oh man so many terrible movies it must have been incredibly hard to pick the bottom spot on this list right no no it wasn't it's not even close the Hunchback of notra 2 is one of the biggest atrocities ever committed by mankind not once in my life have I ever asked myself hey I wonder what happens to quasim Modo next after the end of the first movie because it doesn't matter he got what he wanted he's accepted by everyone the story is over more than any other Disney sequel watching this you can just feel the creative team squirming around in the background getting the sense that they absolutely did not want to make this whatsoever because really there's nothing to work with with a hunchback Sequel and it shows Quasimoto is the only character from the original who's given anything to do Esmeralda might as well not even exist the Gargoyles are somehow less funny and less relevant with far worse comedic timing and a new song that might not be worse than a guy like you but is at least on par with it in terms of Badness the George castanza one still wants to [ __ ] the goat that's funny I guess isn't that that so funny aren't you laughing soing hard right now anyway what's Quasimodo's big plotline in this epic sequel uh he gets a girlfriend he even sings the song about how nice it would be to have one which you know is the same thing he did in the first movie and then he didn't get the girl but that was okay because what he truly wanted was acceptance by the community and getting the girl didn't matter so the entire point of his storyline in the first movie is kind of undone isn't that so cool the girl is very boring she works for a circus guy played by Chuck Mill and he's the only source of mild entertainment in this movie cuz sometimes it's a little funny how much he wants to have sexual intercourse with himself I could kiss me but I'd fall in love but oh no just like Gaston his main motivation is to have Belle he really wants this Belle that has gems inside because the writers don't know how Bells work so he steals the bell and Quasimoto is like oh no you were using me lady and she's like no this is a misunderstanding and God I hate this I hate this so much I hate literally everything about this movie nothing about it is good it is one of the most insultingly terrible experiences I've ever had in my life did I mention that Haley Joel Osman plays Feebas and Esmeralda's kid that's nuts who is a completely pointless character that only exists to get kidnapped in the third act I mean at least has a role in the story unlike Esmeralda I'm done talking about this one nothing in it is necessarily infuriating but it is such a huge wad of worthlessness that its mere existence makes me angry they really should have known better than to try and create a sequel to Hunchback not only because the original didn't even do that well financially to justify it but mainly because they couldn't even muster up an ounce of the Artistry and Majesty that went into the original imagine taking one of the richest and most thematically mature kids movies of all time and making a sequel that stands for and is about nothing a completely empty and vile experience that should not be seen by anyone disappointment in The Game of Life as of right now every single course in Mario Kart 64 has made a return as a retro course in a future game all except conveniently enough the worst one Wario Stadium but wait a minute sha didn't they bring it back in Mario Kart 8 no you fool that was DS Wario Stadium which is totally different from N64 Wario Stadium why they chose to remake a future course with the same name instead of just getting the original out of the way first I don't really get maybe that has to do with the fact that this course is bad I guess it has plenty of jumps and plenty of turns but that doesn't really mean much in a game without a trick system or functional drifting and in addition everything else here is exceptionally pitiful the background decoration consists of the same Wario head copy pasted to Infinity the music is just repeated from Mario and Luigi Raceway which is horribly unfitting when something like the Yoshi Valley or chako Mountain Song would have suited this track way better there's a jump where if you get hit with an item you're sent annoyingly far backwards on the track and you have a lot of ground to make up and on top of all that the course is unbearably long meaning you're stuck with a miserable atmosphere and boring layout for way more time than you should be like like I'm ready to move on to the next race by the beginning of the second lap but it just keeps going in spite of all its issues however I think it is pretty mean that they refuse to bring this and only this track back like the booster course pass would have been a great time plus seeing the glow-ups they gave to DS Wario stadium and GameCube Waluigi Stadium I think they could definitely make a really cool updated course out of this framework oh well I guess we have to wait till Mario Kart 9 comes out in 2037 to see that the week is Big donut turns out battling on a big circle is not that fun there's no way to get from one side to the other quickly so you might as well just stay in the same spot as each other or else it turns into an annoying game of Chase and yeah nobody ever picks this one let's be real you probably don't recognize me because of the red arm see 3PO in the force awakens wait where the hell is he I I don't see him anywhere where did he go oh there he is I almost didn't recognize him because of the red arm why did he have a red arm anyway and since the last Jedi takes place directly after this movie how come he suddenly doesn't have a red arm in that movie Ryan Johnson you hack this is definitive proof that Glass Onion is the worst movie of 2022 no anyway what was I talking about oh yeah 3PO and the force awakens he's there there he is he says some lines pretty much all of his lines could have been said by any of the other characters at this rebel base it's kind of cute when he first pops up to greet Han and it makes the audience go oh it's 3io I remember that guy so that's cool I guess yeah I don't know out of all the movies it's pretty clear that this is the one he contributes the least to he's just there for people to get Nostalgia boners but hey at least the sequel Trilogy did him better than they did R2 oh you sweet sweet prince they did you so dirty but we're not going to get into that today 3PO is our subject to focus here and yeah he's just kind of a background character in this one looks like this is the one Star Wars ranking the rise of Skywalker won't come in last place on what do you know disappointment in The Game of Life s NES choco Island 2 is the most disappointing track since my son it's truly a special and rare feeling to find a course where nothing literally nothing at all about it works the music Bland and forgettable the aesthetic it looks like actual po this isn't just a case where I thought the mud in Waluigi Stadium looked likeit as a kid cuz I was stupid no this is actual I don't understand choco mountain is literally also in this game and that looks fine it looks like actual chocolate what the hell even happened here now for the game play well one thing you'll notice right away about the Super Nintendo courses is that they're ridiculously short that game compensated for its short tracks by having five laps but Mario Kart DS famously does not respect each game's preferred lap count so three it is for these short ass courses you'll literally blink and the race is over but you'll be thankful for that because that means it's less time of your life wasted on chako Island 2 you like these embarrassingly tiny bumps in the road that don't add anything and often launch you off the track if you're going at the wrong angle no well then maybe you'll enjoy this gigantic pit of mud that's insanely hard to steer through want to grab that item box good luck getting over to it fcker every aspect of this course feels specifically designed to either aggravate or depress you I have not ever had one iota of fun on this track this is currently my least favorite course in all of Mario Kart and I don't think anything from seven or eight is going to top it in terms of awfulness and Super Mario Kart bettering watch itself in that regard speaking of which there's three other Super Mario Cart courses we need to talk about in this game in case you doubted me when I said this was the worst selection of retro courses in the series luckily we're now on to D tier courses yippee number six Palm Shore it's a beach the water slows you down and that's annoying that's literally all there is to say about it disappointment in The Game of Life once again there's no outright awful courses in Mario Kart 7 But ultimately someone had to be on the bottom and I don't think anyone would argue against the relative lameness of N64 Luigi Raceway there's nothing nothing wrong with it it's just when a game has this strong of a retro selection a remade course that's just doing the bare minimum is going to stick out in a bad way you're able to race on these bleachers on the right now a feature I never use aside from that the hot air balloon tunnel Jumbotron all of that is still there but there's nothing really special or updated about this course compared to the N64 version I ranked it towards the middle of the pack in that game since the tricky controls there gave a lot more value to the simpler tracks but here this game has intuitive controls and you can glide on a Super Nintendo track now what exactly is a faithful Recreation of N64 Luigi Raceway supposed to offer me again not bad but not a single person's favorite track in this game number six GBA battle course 1 the worst and most boring battle course from super Circuit Oh goodie it's still boring and there are now pointless moles and a pointless ramp in the center just what the doctor ordered at least the music is good disappointment in the game of life Bowser Castle 2 is the worst track in the entire Mario Kart series its only possible competition for this prestigious honor comes from other tracks in this very game but ultimately I came to the decision that it earns this spot it doesn't even feel like a race course just something that was haphazardly thrown together in a level editor and before you say well isn't that just a symptom of being in Super Mario Kart no the other courses have track design one part of the road naturally leads to the next part on these other courses that's the bare fing minimum here there's a complete dead end disguised as a regular turn that you can't progress through if you don't have a feather and there's a bizarre middle section where no turn naturally leads into another why would you ever turn right then left then right at this one part what is the point of that it's so sloppy and abysmally beneath the already pretty low standards of this game's courses what else is there oh there's long ass straightaways where barely anything happens and sharp 90° turns that absolutely do not mesh with this game's control scheme this is an obscene piece of [ __ ] and Bowser should be ashamed of himself I deserve that and that was just the first of three F tier courses this game has yep you heard me right buckle up be a winner at The Game of Life bottle rocket is one of the weirdest viewing experiences I've ever had I heard going in that Wes Anderson's first ever feature film didn't really have much of the usual Style we associate him with but that didn't make it any less of a shock when I realized just how normal this movie looks it's just dead ass a normal fing movie like I can't stress enough how weird that is for a project with his name on it there are brief glimpses of the writer and director he would eventually become like when one of the characters gets offended over what a little girl thinks of him and another says what has she ever accomplished in her life and there's a nice well edited and shot scene where four characters are testing out guns stuff like this feels like beta Wes Anderson a few little tastes of him starting to spread his wings and become the impeccably unique filmmaker we all know and love you don't just come out of the womb making movies on the same filmmaking caliber as his later features so it was especially neat to see how he got his start with this pretty decent little film it has a fun premise and Great lead performances by Owen and Luke Wilson in their acting debuts no less but for the most part I just kind of found it okay and it didn't leave a huge impression on me it's a crime film with only two real heists in it one in the first half and one at the very end and those parts are pretty enjoyable and comedic but the downtime in between is kind of Hit or Miss I think there's a sweet relationship between Luke Wilson and this Motel maid he meets but at the same time the plot really stalls when they're at this Motel the pacing in this movie is generally kind of off and sometimes it doesn't feel like there's enough going on to justify the short 90minut run time but ultimately I like the central characters and how their relationship gets tested and as a result I think this is a fine enough movie not one I ever think I'll watch again but it's certainly a neat novelty when compared to the rest of Wes's filmography disappointment in the game of life so what is the very worst Spielberg movie Ready Player one no jassic park the lost world try again oh oh Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the Crystal Skull worse than that allow me to introduce you guys to a Spielberg film no one talks about his least viewed featurelength film on letter booxed in fact one that was so bad and so much harder to get through than anything I've ever watched for one of these ranking videos that I committed what some of you might consider to be a cardinal movie watching sin 1941 is an infamously bad Spielberg movie that is somehow better than this one I have ranked in the bottom slot on this list say hello to The BFG since he's really friendly and he likes it when people say hello to him also his movie is later in the list okay okay I've stalled for long enough it's time to tell you what the worst Spielberg movie is but first let me set the scene Friday August 25th I wake up at 11:00 a.m. eat some delicious pancakes for breakfast and tell myself okay before I put the finishing touches on my Puss and Boots The Last Wish analysis why don't I watch another Spielberg movie for the ranking I browse the list of movies I haven't yet watched and I innocently decide to knock out a movie I don't know anything about but it's only 2 hours apparently so I figure why not this should be fine I go to YouTube and I rent a digital copy of always and that's how I ruined my entire day I cannot stress enough how horrible the experience of watching this movie is see there's movies I hate more at least five of the ranking movies are worse however those movies weren't 2 hours with the most Bol characters acting out the most insane premise with the most baffling execution imaginable wow you might be thinking the way you describ this it sounds like a hilariously bad movie for the ages no it's not don't be fooled into watching this [ __ ] monstrosity it's somehow manages to take a premise that sounds insane and makes it incredibly dull and lifeless somehow the movie becomes more boring after its ridiculous twist which hey why don't we talk about it so Richard dfus plays a pilot and puts out fires he's in love with Holly Hunter and they have no chemistry his friend is John Goodman who tries his best to make this character memorable and likable he doesn't really succeed anyway atas the girl is like come on Richard dfus you got to retire and hang up the plane and just stop so the guy from Jaws is like okay sweetie I'm just going to do this one last job and then I'll go retire and teach people how to plan they even have a cute little goodbye scene where she stops him from taking off and they kiss how nice do you think he's going to die is it too subtle for you to realize that he's about to die on this Mission how much more [ __ ] obvious can we make it that he's about to die oh look at that he's dead so from this point on the movie becomes a more mature and interesting story about grief and coping with it we get to see Holly Hunter and John Goodman going through the stages of it and eventually learning to to accept that this guy they cared so much about is gone well that sounds like a nice movie I guess Why didn't it turn out so good oh because I [ __ ] lied that's not what the movie is about there are glimpses of these characters dealing with grief but they're not the focus the focus is on the guy who died because now now he gets to come back as a ghost and manipulate the thoughts and actions of this new pilot as a spirit guide he learns all this from Audrey heurn as she gives him a haircut in the middle of this scorched forest and he's so casual about all this oh yep I'm dead oh well sure I'll be a spirit guide why not I'm sorry what who the reacts to this information so casually from there the rest of the movie is about this ghost guy watching himself get cucked as the new pilot he's supposed to guide falls in love with his old girlfriend this is maybe the dumbest plot to a movie of all time and the worst part is that it's all played completely serious I couldn't believe what I was watching how is this a real movie directed by Steven Spielberg this is like a bad concept by ight Shyamalan standards I'd rather be watching the movie about the beach that makes you old at least that's probably a little bit funny and not the most boring thing I've ever seen in my life seriously the movie was dull before but it somehow gets more boring once it goes in this insane Direction I couldn't stand it I felt like I was losing my mind as the ghost guy said some variation of that's my girl for the 20th fing time once I hit the hour mark I knew I legitimately couldn't go on like this I needed a pallet cleanser after enduring only the first half of this movie so I did something I've never done before when working on any of these ranking videos I paused the movie I was watching and I threw on a completely different one I figured The Adventures of Tintin looked fun and yeah I got more enjoyment out of the opening credits animation than I did the entire first hour of always what a great movie to wake me up out of my damn coma the only bad thing was as soon as it was over I remembered oh yeah I still have an hour of this [ __ ] to go so I watched the second hour and I don't know it was still bad but the fire effects were cool there was one good scene in a vacuum where the guy finally accepts that his girl has to move on and he tells her all the things he wanted to tell her when he was alive too bad the movie surrounding this scene was so shitty huh otherwise I might have actually felt something and then that's it it was a whole lot ofing nothing that added no value to my life whatsoever again don't watch it out of morbid curiosity to see how bad it is because its biggest crime is that it's painfully boring I guess the fact that it manages to be so boring while having this insane of a premise is a feat in and of itself but again take my word for it you don't need to watch this shitty ass creepy as hell big budget Hallmark movie how did this come out the same year as Last Crusade what kind of Shrek 2 sharktail double feature [ __ ] is this the good news is this movie has no fans so no one will get mad at me for this placement what a relief I'll always remember to never watch this movie again disappointment in The Game of Life I actually had quite a difficult time determining what the absolute worst course in this game was there were just so many contenders for the coveted status of being the absolute bottom of the barrel out of all 96 tracks it was a close race But ultimately I have to give this slot to the one track I absolutely cannot stand more than any other in this game the Remake that pisses me off to no end because of how thoroughly it butchers the entire appeal of its original version the worst course in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is GBA Sunset Wilds I mean what the [ __ ] Nintendo generally this game has been really good at reimagining the tracks from super Circuit and bringing them into the modern day so isn't it cool that one of the most beloved courses from that game is still flat aside from two small hills at the end they added no elevation whatsoever they couldn't even be bothered to lift these boost panels any higher than not at all this feels more like a remake of a Super Nintendo track than the actual Super Nintendo track remakes it's even complete with those dumb multicolor blocks that horribly clash with the track's aesthetic they also obviously remov the shy guy tents probably for the best but they didn't replace them with something nearly as interesting it's just regular dancing shy guys who make for far less memorable obstacles there are awkward mud slicks I guess I don't even know what these are cuz the texture so so weird looking it's just such a nothing inclusion of a course like the good music is the only thing holding this one together well that and its most famous gimmick the sun setting as the laps progress I can't wait to see that in glorious HD where's the sunset are are you are are you fing kidding me it's the one it it's the one thing I expected this remake to have the whole point of sunset wild is that the sun fing sets it's like the one thing it knows how to do the Sun not only set in the GBA version of this track but it also set in the Mario Kart tour version of this track you know the mobile phone game that Mario Kart 8 ported the booster course pass tracks over from so if they could have achieve this effect on a 32bit handheld system and a mobile phone game why in the sweet name of shagaru mamoto could they not achieve this effect in an HD remake of this track released in the year of Our Lord 2023 as a DLC Edition to the sixth highest grossing video game of all time time but but the lighting system in Mario Kart 8 doesn't allow the sun to dynamically set are you [ __ ] stupid are you implying that the experienced programmers at Nintendo could not find a workaround for this in order to keep the most crucial gimmick intact for one of the most popular courses from Mario Kart super Circuit I'm going to assume that they very well could have made the sunset and they just didn't have enough time to to figure it out because of the booster course passes release schedule or maybe they just never cared about including it since it still hasn't been added after wave six dropped either way if they knew they couldn't make this key element of sunset Wild's work then why the did they decide to bring this course back I would have sooner taken any other remake of any other course over this absolute bastardization of one of my favorite GBA tracks I I hate this remake more than words could possibly Express and I never elect to play on it under any circumstances unless of course I need to write up a detailed report of why this track is the absolute worst in all of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe with that said the music saves it from being F tier so congrats for only being D tier buddy you did it good job but don't just take my word for it why don't we grab an item box and see which Youtuber can help me drive Sunset Wild's name through the mud looks like it's get mads GBA Sunset Wilds without the sunset what next deep cut without big man Rhythm Heaven without Hue Birds cruxs without the funny holes in them so many people are hyping this track up to being a banger so when it turns out to just be all right and it's missing a crucial part of its identity its perception goes from one of the best tracks stuck in the GBA to one of the best tracks stuck on the GBA this is a deep fake this track's perception is ruined for veterans and disappointing to newcomers just play marioart Stadium instead number eight figure eight circuit it's like not a contest at all this course has nothing and it is nothing now Patrick did Gaslight me into loving this course ironically and as a result it holds a special place in my heart but I have an easy way of reconciling how my heart and my brain feel about this course see Nintendo didn't fil Patrick's dream of seeing Figure 8 circuit in Mario Kart 8 but I know he would be happy to see that I have it ranked at eighth place not last eighth it's the spot it deserves number five is coin Runners it's kind of boring but at least it's better than the seven version since you can have more than 10 coins number eight is lunar Colony honestly the only map I don't really like and my least favorite across every mode these craters can be really annoying obstacles when you're trying to hit people with items and the layout itself is kind of cramped and not that cohesive what's more terrible than trying to battle on a figure eight I'll tell you trying to battle on a figure eight with a bunch of huge cars in your way number eight Toad's Turnpike playing battle mode on this map might genuinely be the single worst gameplay experience in Mario Kart history I can't think of anything that compares to the sheer Agony of not being able to spot where your fellow players are because some dumbass MooMoo Meadows truck is in your goddamn way the obstacles on this course not only hinder your chances of keeping your balloons but they also hinder your chances of ever finding anyone else to do battle with it is the absolute worst the sorest excuse for a battle map ever to the point where I don't even know if F tier accurately captures my feelings this [ __ ] belongs in G tier congratulations toads turnpik starting with d tier the worst of the worst we have rather infamously DK and Diddy don't have any voice clips resembling how they sound in their actual games instead saarai just gave them monkey noises as a result the king of Kongs himself just has the shittiest most generic Wii remote sound of all time it stinks there's nothing to say about it but to be fair he doesn't exactly have any other sound effect in Smash that would work better maybe a snippet of The Bongo Song in his final smash who knows who cares starting from the bottom the absolute worst season of Television that came out in 2023 that I watched keyword is that I watched there's probably worse out there but this is the worst one I saw we have the Mandalorian season 3 I'm dead serious this is the worst TV I've seen all year I mean it's probably cuz I didn't watch the Marvel shows and don't jump on me I heard Loki was good good I just don't care I believe you guys when you say it's a good season you can enjoy it without me have fun anyway Mando season 3 uh I didn't make a review on it cuz I felt like its problems were obvious and everyone was talking about them but just to recap this is a horribly messy and disjointed season with no engaging hook Mando barely has anything to work with grou shouldn't even be here and it's blatantly obvious that he was just brought back because of merchandise appeal batan is essentially the main character of the season and she's so boring like I liked her in Clone Wars but this show sucked all of her Charisma and personality out Gus Fring doesn't even show up till the second to last episode and they foil his evil Plan before it's even explained what his evil plan was and then there's the Jack Black and lizo episode which is Far and Away the worst of the entire series and not just because of how distracting Jack Black and lizo being here is you got the [ __ ] technicality of Mando handing over the dark saber with zero Fanfare even though this season 2 finale implied this would be a major source of conflict nope not at all great and then you got a bunch of battle droids big day for battle droid fans I guess I mean I love battle droids but they were so out of place here and then Christopher Lloyd is over there rambling about Count Dooku what it is insane how much a show about a Boba Fett guy and a tiny Yoda going on adventures together is now so heavily reliant on Clone Wars like how did these things get so inter T it's ridiculous this season was the real final nail in the coffin for any Star Wars show that isn't Andor just abysmal and you can watch a million video essays going into more detail on it I'd recommend this one by friendly space ninja it's pretty good so that was the worst TV show season of 20123 I watched a disappointing season 3 after two pretty good Seasons disappointment in The Game of Life all right let's cut the [ __ ] you know exactly what the bottom slot is tenet is not good I hesitate to say it's it's an awful movie even though I would certainly not argue with anyone who thinks that way I just think it's a frustratingly mediocre and not wellth out film it central conceit of time moving backwards for certain objects and certain people just isn't nearly as engaging of a hook as Nolan thinks it is it feels like this movie is trying to capture a similar Vibe as Inception telling this thrilling story and utilizing a unique SciFi twist to enhance the tension but not only is the Sci-Fi concept and Inception way easier to understand but the stakes are more well- defined and the central character has an engaging personal story line nobody in tenant has an engaging personal storyline of any kind the closest thing would be Elizabeth de Becky's character caring about her son but she's just kind of a standard abused damsel for most of the film the protagonist I'm sorry I should probably use his actual name the protagonist is an entirely unengaging character who I never felt had much stake in anything going on I like John David Washington's performance and while we're at it Robert patson is also good in this movie but these characters don't really have traits to latch onto they're just vessels to get from one action scene or expository conversation about how the time travel [ __ ] Works to the next it makes for a really boring movie The Action is kind of cool and the performances all work but I had no investment in anything going on an issue that was compounded as the film drudged along to its rather underwhelming climax I should also say that this movie is not nearly as clever as it thinks it is one of Christopher noan best attributes as a Storyteller is how he uses nonlinear storytelling for cool dramatic reveals as we'll see when we talk about the good movies on this list but when your entire film is built around the concept of nonlinear time progression well yeah I prettyy much immediately guessed that the two guys the protagonist and Rob Pat were fighting were themselves I immediately guessed that the lady Elizabeth de Becky saw jumping off the boat was herself literally anything else would have been more shocking and subversive in general while I can admire how ambitious this movie was in theory in execution I think it might be Christopher Nolan's most pedestrian film to date hidden behind all the pseudo cleverness is an incredibly standard story with undercooked characters that I have no desire to ever watch again the only time any bit of dialogue in this film made me perk up was when they mentioned Oppenheimer cuz that made me say oh [ __ ] I could be watching that movie instead don't watch tennet you are not missing out on anything I should take Christopher Nolan to court for wasting away the audience's Goodwill with his confusing nonlinear time progression but I'm not going to do that he's made good movies with nonlinear progression before I'll talk about them soon but first we got to cover his other biggest failure

Channel: NintendoLover2005

Views: 315,418

Keywords: schaffrillas, schaffrillas productions, toad's turnpike, toads turnpike, schaffrillas productions ranking, schaffrillas productions ranked, schaffrillas ranked, schaffrillas ranking, disappointment in the game of life

Id: e_NyqgQgjhE

Length: 91min 10sec (5470 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2024