Eric Andre - H3 Podcast #195

welcome everybody to the h3 podcast experience that everyone show on the Internet today bringing the best guests and the greatest stories scoops here to the experts report here today on the Internet today we are joined by the probably one of the most requested guests of all time on the history podcast Eric Andre Triple Threat musician stand-up comedian actor he's got a lot of really cool projects on the way he's got a Netflix special out right now called legalized everything and we have a really fun I'll be a short conversation with him coming up a little bit later after the first break so I very much look forward to that and today's episode of sponsored by expressvpn and of course the ELA Cline's Teddy Fresh we had a drop second part of our June collection here which includes patchwork bucket hats and glorious blue cream and red bubble graffiti shirts what is going on bubble graffiti crewnecks we call this a beautiful hoodie because let's face it that's what it is it's a beautiful hoodie you know this is a puffy paint shirt that I think is going a little under the radar mm-hmm because look at the beautiful details on this puffy paint look at that it's just like it's so puffy pearl it's a really cool print puffy paint yeah thank ya and of course our hearts on my sleeve you know when you wear your heart on your sleeve well this is the shirt for you and it actually looks really good on like looks really good on you so that's it Teddy fresh calm support rep your nation all right now today I am very much connected with all the Cova de insanity that's going on we here in the United States are yesterday we yesterday being let's see cuz this always comes out a day later now face the 26 so on the 25th we had over 41,000 cases new cases that slammed the rock the record so can we please get up a round of applause for America number one baby we were not be denied the first the first spot I am starting to get worried that we will never be able to leave America or people come here oh yeah Canada's closing their border Europe's gonna close the border as well they should I mean my mom has been wanting to come here she was planned to come right as soon as the kovat whole thing Hey so she never came and she really wants to see Theodore and I was like okay after just like craziness goes away let's make sure you come right away but now I don't know wine is not gonna be well we're all I feel like in America everyone's just given up to the point we're like well we're just gonna have to wait for that vaccine and I feel like a lot of scientists and people are overly hopeful they say oh we're gonna have a vaccine and fall but just recall these are the same people who were saying that this would be gone by summer and now we're in June we'll Falchi and a lot of health experts a lot of scientists were saying this is gonna be gone by summer I guess assuming that people would cooperate yeah they would that we would be able to make an effort to a collective effort yeah and then you know pretty much every state reopened before CDC puts out guidelines saying you have to do all these things and you have to be on a downward trajectory for 14 days before you can safely reopen I think there was three states that actually followed the CDC guidelines for reopening safely California wasn't one of them because people needed to you know go out but that the problem is people aren't wearing masks they say that if every single person wore masks it would cut the transmission of the virus down so significantly that that it would pretty much disable the spread we'd save a lot of lives course a lot of lives a lot of jobs a lot of problems everything but we have given up so it's kind of remarkable just watching the daily numbers I just feel like this has got to be the most confused country because the Prime Minister is not wearing a mask our presidents not wearing a mask president the president is not wearing a mask so yeah I have to it has to be like that is just such a phone a wrong foundation for everything you know you've got the president I have to I really have to think that the president not wearing a mask refusing to wear a mask touring masks factories and not wearing masks is gonna have to go down as I mean he's directly killing people by not doing that it's well indirectly I guess but like yeah I mean it's just it's and he's the I don't understand how why Trump is so flippin about kovat because I feel like it's really gonna hurt his reelection I mean even in Israel Bibi is wearing a mask everybody's wearing a mask how does it benefit your country to be flippant about kovat I don't get it he's turned it into a political issue so that people can prove their loyalty to Trump by refusing to wear masks and a lot of people are doing that you know so so we've given up I just hope that that vaccine does come and November like everyone's hoping but I'm afraid you guys have to understand the vaccine has never been developed that fast ever ever ever ever ever ever and obviously we have a huge global effort to do that but I do think that that is being overly optimistic but I pray that it's true and then people go we'll look at the death you know there's not that many deaths only 500 a day but that's gonna start going up because the deaths always trail the new cases by two weeks make sense right so we're gonna start seeing that go up exponentially as well as starting to see more and more people that I just kind of like randomly follow on Instagram and stuff saying that they got the virus right I saw a post on Twitter she's like I have autoimmune disease I've done everything right I social distance I wear a mask I clean everything off and I've got covered really yeah and then you've got even people so far as down as Joe Rogan who you who like you know I respect the man but he saw like Bill burr had this viral moment when he goofed on Joe Rogan for saying don't you think wearing a mask makes you a [ __ ] or something to that effect and I mean when you when you've got the president down to Joe Rogan who wields a lot of influence like the second president he's the president and I heard a really funny analogy they say Joe Rogan is like the Gwyneth Paltrow of broths he's got like the goop the on it is his goop hello Brogan yeah exactly but so like you know and I really take cross with this whole notion that wearing a mess makes you a [ __ ] you have to understand wearing a mask doesn't even protect you it protects other people what about that is a bit as being a bit it's just I don't know what's so hard to understand if you wear it you're protecting others because you can have no symptoms and still carry the virus and still give it to other people what's so hard to understand it's like so I think people I think people think they wear the mask to protect themselves but by having people said it like a million times by now yeah explaining how it catches your respiratory droplets I was listening to somebody talk about the other day he says it was dr. foutch he's a reputable guy the mask catches 90% of your respiratory droplets and then you need a certain amount of virus to get infected and so the amount that it cuts down makes it virtually impossible to transmit the disease unless you're in like a really small room with bad circulation with that person for a while if you're outside with masks it's almost impossible to transmit the virus right another thing about the virus is that that I learned is that it really doesn't transfer from surfaces it's all from people to people yes exactly so the whole surface thing like I stopped sanitizing my groceries and stuff goes like such a [ __ ] slab - yes so so it's really all about the respiratory droplets about the mask and washing your hands and washing your hands always is great so it's about it's really happens when you breathe in other people's droplets mists whatever you know that's why the most dangerous environment is like a small air-conditioned room much like this one stay away from me because then the air circulates and everybody gets sick but anyway how do we get on this yeah it's just incredible and somehow dumbfounded that the stock market do the stock market is completely uncoupled from reality stock market is like a big troll they go yesterday they're like the biggest day single day of new covent infections over 41,000 and the stock market today is up 2% it's a coup is [ __ ] investing the stock market on that news I don't get it I don't get it I don't like it I keep saying it's almost like a Bitcoin crazy everyone thinks they're a day trader now I've heard several people tell me that their day traders on ironically I'm like Newton everybody's a day trader in a bull market just wait till [ __ ] hits the fan we'll see how much of a day trader you are it's I don't understand our economy I don't understand I don't understand it it's crazy anyways my birthday this week thank you here long yeah birthday you treated me very well I'm like I'm 35 years old yeah 35 I'm not like depressed about it actually I usually get to press my birthday but I actually wasn't depressed this time because we got a little Theodore yeah Theatre is a great one I mean there's a lot of love in our house I feel very I do feel very happy in our home with our doggies and our kid so cute yeah he's such a sweetheart we haven't done a theater update in a long time so a little update mm-hmm he's obsessed with tractors track trying there's a new dachshund trust that's always says any kind of whispers ooh so cute he goes yeah and he thinks he thinks anything with wheels is a track and he started pointing and goes this so it goes anything with wheels like for example we there was a cooler we were doing a photo shoot and the cooler had wheels he goes tractor we're like well close but he's walking now like fully walking he's starting to talk he just got his first haircut he looks so cute he loves his books I got him like a tractor book with all the different kinds of trucks and tractors mm-hmm and he just loves it it's so funny oh my god dude I had like a heart attack yesterday he face-planted on the tiles and I got so I got so distraught because he slammed his head on the ground and you can hear it was like dude then he starts crying and he had nose on it he had blood on his lip and coming out of his nose and I was like oh my god I get so nervous I was like he's got brain damage he broke something he's never gonna be the same he's got brain damage he's never gonna be same I just real we just ruined his life the thumb pressure dude I felt so distraught it really wasn't that bad though no he was fine but I just like I was so distraught I felt so bad for him but he was totally fine in like five minutes but he had blood coming out of his little nose I mean that was like a door or a thick yeah anyway had a good birthday it was very nice I'm 35 years old and uh I feel okay about it you know it's all right it'll be worse it could be 40 40s [ __ ] weird yeah 40s gonna be weird dude that's like oh dude you wanted those people I'm dead bro you want what people wanted those people that are 40 I don't know dose like that this person like those people oh you're one of those people yeah yeah yeah you're an old [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] anyone over 40 is is there not a cool 90s kid they're like a piece of [ __ ] boomer it's like the kid from a different school kind of thing I want to be a piece I already am a piece of [ __ ] boomer let's be honest speaking of wearing masks I love this video there's a whole new breed of people who refuse to wear masks I've thought about this okay you know how we were all making fun of social justice warriors like three four years ago I submit to you here today that these people are the new social justice warriors they have the same energy the same vibe and it's just a [ __ ] mask it's just a mask watch this guy he's well he's willing to throw a life and I'm at Walmart [Music] well y'all will morning guys it's Walmart dog you don't have a [ __ ] god-given right to be in Walmart oh I thought there was more I don't know more I think this is a short version like he teach art wait can you find a longer version because he charges in there yeah there was another that setting old men oh yeah no I think you would know better no it's his god-given right you look to just shop him Walmart without a mask that's what they think life liberty and the pursuit of not wearing a mask the pursuit of joy there was another thing i retweeted which I'll pull up here did I get off on these kinds of tweets this this to me is is my favorite thing right now she goes this is on Facebook of course me wearing no mask and going the wrong way down every aisle and Walmart but see see this this rude and I'm just gonna say this and forgive me [ __ ] I'm forgiven because she this is this is just a cruel she ever either from ignorance or just flippant cruelty you walking down Walmart aisles without a mask you are not helping yourself you're risking the people around you that old Nana reaching up for jello on the top shelf is gonna drop dead because of your dumb [ __ ] ass okay well anyway a couple days later she writes as of today I was informed I tested positive for coven 19 if I've been in contact with anyone lately please go get tested [ __ ] you [ __ ] right now my own system are dizzy spells dry throat and cough which I thought were just allergies please keep my family and your prayers I'm not praying for you as I have got a lot of kids I have a lot of kids so we're going to say how many kids specifically yeah did you forget the number how many kids like it's less words to just say how many kids you have just one digit I'm assuming who I am worried about most especially my two month old well maybe you should have [ __ ] taken a more seriously dumb-dumb would you pray for her you'll pray no mask no prayers that's my policy mmm what about thoughts will you think about her I just did I guess I'll think about her but bad thoughts is it rude to call a female person a [ __ ] I feel like it I think so yeah but the thing is like so here's where eyes what's the equivalent for a guy you could call him I think it's the equivalent is his [ __ ] or butt but not really because there's a sexist connotation a bit yeah but here's where I draw the line if you're just like Hadley referring to a female as a [ __ ] that's just sweet well we used to all do that I feel like an and I've stopped doing that and I catch myself when I do it but I'm like wow this girl this woman is a real [ __ ] [ __ ] like that woman's a [ __ ] [ __ ] - like flaunt that she's cruising around aisles of Walmart without a mask proud of it like [ __ ] you [ __ ] you know what I mean and I don't like saying [ __ ] right I don't like calling don't like it and don't like it no I don't like it either but like what do you call that what do you call that psycho I said I said psycho all the time lately I probably need more words in my vocabulary like dude if you're gonna call any woman a [ __ ] it's her I think but there's a lot of guys doing that - I mean if you call a guy [ __ ] it's pretty insulting - cuz it damask you lights them I like calling guys a [ __ ] yeah so then I should be able to call a female a bit but like I have to really use you can't just use that yeah like if I called you a [ __ ] that's like fool not I would never do you can yeah I'm gonna do that it's not funny Oh keemstar has something to say opinion on this conversation thank you very much keep starting anyone else I think everyone agrees with me right what that it's that you shouldn't but y'all women [ __ ] yeah but she's a [ __ ] yeah I mean I I've lately I find myself going to the more than the [ __ ] oh well that's way more insulting you know I feel like it's shifting I don't know because the rest of the english-speaking world too is is fairly casual and I gotta stop you if you call a female the c-word we can't even say that dan you're gonna have to you're gonna have to believe that because YouTube D monetizes our whole hey they dance yeah I mean I'm gonna beep that one too but here's the thing you can't even you can't even bleep it you understand cuz if they know what you're saying you can't even think it yeah it they hold I learned this first of all from YouTube and I was like what but they hold the c-word in the same esteem as the n-word they consider a hate word I may have no idea what I'm saying because it's not my first language but I kind of find it less offensive in a way it's not why if you call a female the c-word that's the worst well you clearly sang it in a hatred tone of course you're like trying to offend anyway right but there is something about saying [ __ ] from a guide that kind of comes off in a wrong way for me it's like if I was mad at a female and I called her this I think they're both equally offensive if you're mad if you're saying it out of a place of anger they're both really offensive okay yeah they're both bad but for some reason YouTube was like oh to see words like the n-word for women I was like really I agree I think the see where it is harsher the c-word it is so hard to see where it is like more funny for some reason yeah well in England they use it very colloquial colloquially in Australia the whole in we're the only ones that take offense to it because Americans we're Puritan weirdos but in England in England if you call a woman a see where do you probably she probably won't be what's not I don't think it's even that and the it's not that gendered in the rest of the world either the guys call other guys that all the time too you know I mean like it doesn't I don't know it's a weird thing I don't know why it's the fact that there's a gender to but she was a [ __ ] let's be clear that woman's a bit I think she's a c-word oh yeah I mean she might even go I think we all think she's a C word basically but I if I if you're saying I can't call her [ __ ] then I definitely you can call her a C word then I could definitely call her a [ __ ] I guess definitely you have to listen to what you're saying words matter alright you're gonna have to do a lot of editing there make that work you know ja Rule was in a commercial charles desperate forget what I guess our rule think about this right so ja rule is desperate for gigs after the fire festival apparently I don't know what's the source on this but they say he was paid in a ziplock bag of looks like that would be the kind of thing yeah well how much more can you get paid oh well let's watch it first and then I'll give you some more context you have context I do have some context but it will take away from the funny so let's just watch [Music] you haven't late your life so good [Music] Peter's Peter top priest Oh Peter they got everything I'm gonna just give you a rundown of some of my favorite they got that doesn't know what to xik is gonna know soup I'm telling you come on down to pop Christo so what you working with pop or so am i doing hey hey [Music] so what's the context so now so it's what was that Jarl Oh what is it then there's a difference look good yeah it's um is for a reality show called celebrity show off where show where stars compete with each other to create compelling content and in order to attract YouTube viewers that's your right I said why they want to tell you said he made them and then I'll make it even less funny for you ja Rule said he made the video with hopes of helping a small business amid the Koba 19 pandemic I wonder if these guys getting orders are you telling me he was not paid and a ziplock bag I do not believe I love that guys tweet but no I don't think it's on Pico we should go if commercials were just like that on TV that'd be way better so can i order do they deliver to this it's a little too far yeah it's what it does draw roll really believe what he said that doesn't sound good but does he think that was it false advertising though but there said the food was good or was it no okay no it's not but it's the food good actually it doesn't sound good I don't know yeah I don't know what to think about it then these are like that's what Vin Diesel tells the gyro before he takes a bite this is this is Vin Diesel seconds before biting into the gyro it's probably girl this is Vin Diesel after his first bite of gyro this is Kim sir after taking one bite of gyro garbage isn't like this is him after three bites of gyro garbage you really crossed the line anyway how much time we got we're about 28 minutes into the show you know you guys may have heard is a big story jenna Marbles is she's cancelled herself she's leaving YouTube she's gotten a lot of [ __ ] from people over the years and she's just I guess made in a final apology video and said she's stepping away from her channel in a video called a message and it's been all the talk of the town really I think it's been really hard for everyone to watch the video and to see her be so hard the first two things that I would like to address is the fact that there are people that were offended that I did blackface as Nicki Minaj in 2011 and I'll show you the clip incredibly crazy and embarrassing this is private it has been private for quite some time but it looks like this you know look I'm not the person who say what blackface is OK it not but I do wonder if there's a difference like Jimmy Kimmel recently got in trouble Jimmy Kimmel Karl Malone I don't know if he got in trouble people are trying to expose expose them for doing blackface and then there was the man shot and he used to do bits where he would like black body but he used to always do these bits about Carl Malone because he's such a character and whole like et call or read all TV about white people getting deducted by alien stick I don't know I don't know if the times just changed upon us I guess you wouldn't do that to all the times I've definitely changed yeah no one is doing this but I think it's kind of you can't really go back in time this far and then like apply today's standards like think about that this was on Comedy Central like they have censors and standards and practices and the people who run that department saw this who are the Eagles they [ __ ] and Nick everything in the ass right they don't let anything slip by and they saw this and thought that was okay I'm not saying it's okay now but at the time the people who were paid to be super critical of anything that could be controversial greenlit this sketch and I think that just goes to show that you can't go back in time like god one was one was a show even I mean [ __ ] twenty years ago probably right yeah man show was like definitely opening an interesting conversation to what what should still leave out there though because when YouTube the weird thing is that it's always available for you to watch but she did private yes video yeah so I mean I've done and said really cringey [ __ ] my early career that I've private 'add you know I think everybody has like everyone is like the society as a whole is growing over the years and understanding of what's okay and what's not okay and these are just like the these are just little pieces of part of what was okay at that time but it's also kind of like a reminder that how things have changed like I would never see this today you know but uh but to me it's clear that he's not like when you say blackface you or your what the original black faces when white people would black people and color their face black because black people weren't accepted to play themselves in theater because people were so racist but like when I look at what he's doing here I don't see a dude who's really doing that I think he's doing an impression but again I'm not the person to to say if this is okay or not you know I could see why people would be I mean he doesn't look can he do it I don't know I I frankly I don't know I'm conflicted on it I guess but anyway this whole thing like is he wearing like a whole rubber suit like he looks [ __ ] crazy yeah I know I mean it's like so beyond why face what if swat-bots is armed he's committed to the is it like a whole rubber suit cuz like look at how buff his arms around right that could be at his neck used to watch the show yeah I never liked it I like that one kid they had like this one kid they would tell what to do on the street this twelve-year-old kid with the earpiece in and he would like hit oh they would like feed him lines or whatever yeah remember I like that but hey whatever so so this is kind of what's happening to Jenna even though she already she had private did that video years ago though right like this isn't in reaction and it's from 2011 I think she's being so hard on herself but I understand people keep bringing it up and bringing it up as like what can you do you know but I think all of us who have been on the internet that long who has not among us over a 10-year career on YouTube done or said something that by today's standard Willa Coralville nobody I mean nobody except keemstar he's the one person with clean hands he has never said or done anything offensive garbage but I just you know it's a really tough conversation I there's it's been she's being super responsible and she clearly wants to do the right thing yeah and I think that's really really good of her but I do think she it seems like she's still harsh on herself all of her new content for years nothing like that old stuff I have to say that I've always had a lot of respect for Jenna because for the past several years she's been making content that at the expense of nobody which is kind of an outlier on YouTube right the trend on YouTube for the past several years is like talking about this talking about this person and she's actually out there doing original content and so I've always thought like hey that that's really cool that she's doing that here's another one from her past that I guess people will keep bringing up the next thing that I want to address this is also from 2011 a bad year for me in judgment apparently same year this video was called bounce that dick this has also been made private I don't want to offend anyone I'm not interested in it I'm not interested in making anyone feel bad in case you haven't noticed here's the clip I'll play it for you here hold on let me remind you so as you can see I said hey ching chong Ling Wong shake your King Kong ding dong that was racist I'm bad at rap songs I mean it's just a goof you know um yeah I understand her obviously doesn't want to be a part of something that might insult someone also I guess he doesn't want people to look at that and then like think like oh I can do that today yeah she [ __ ] she misused to make videos slut-shaming girls she says for sleeping around because about what girls do what guys do she says she doesn't like gender identity jokes yada yada yada she's being very responsible very on herself I think she's a great person I think she makes great content I have a lot of respect for her and I'm very sad that she's being so hard on herself and that there's these little [ __ ] trolls on the internet too and I have to tell you the people who bring this [ __ ] up repeatedly over and over again are the same these people don't care about being offended by it they really I feel like the people who bring this up are just trying to make a point look you're a [ __ ] hypocrite because you did this ten years ago and so now you can never address this in fact it's a shame because there are real movements right now that are happening for good reasons that should be happening and changes that are good and then there's like the extreme like this where I don't know like yeah those videos were wrong and she already knew that and she already private to them and she already has moved on from this content she doesn't make this today so I think she is allowed to grow she's clearly made a meaningful change in her life like there's no resemblance of that old content for several years going so you have to give someone the benefit of the doubt at a certain point but like I said the people who anyway I don't want to get theirs this next week I have a lot more to talk about but anyway I go I give my thoughts and my prayers go out to jenna Marbles who's great and I wish her all the best and with that being said let's throw it to a quick break and when we come back we will interview the great heir Andre to celebrate the release of his new comedy special on Netflix called legalize everything it's a short interview he was limited on time today but we make the best of it so let's uh let's see you guys in a little bit and we'll see there I know most of you are probably thinking why don't you use incognito mode well let me tell you something incognito mode does not hide your activity it doesn't matter what mode you use or how many times you clear your browser history your internet service provider can see every single disgusting raunchy [ __ ] up filthy rotten thing you've done you sick [ __ ] that's why even when I'm at home I never go online without using expressvpn it doesn't matter if you get your internet from Verizon or Comcast ISPs in the u.s. can legally sell your information to ad companies whoa I didn't know that that's crazy expressvpn is an app that reroutes your internet connection through their secure servers so that your ISP can't see the sites you visit expressvpn also keeps all your information secure by encrypting 100% of your data with the most powerful encryption available most of the time I don't even realize I have expressed VPN turned on and it runs seamlessly in the background and it's just so easy to use all you have to do is tap one button and boom you are protected expressvpn is available on all your devices phones computers and even your Smart TV so there is no excuse for you not to be using it protect your online activity today with the VPN rated number 1 by C net and wired visit our exclusive link at expressvpn comm /h 3 and you get an extra 3 months for free with a one-year package that's expr e SS VPN dot-com / h3 expressvpn dot-com / h3 to learn more welcome everybody Eric Andre here to celebrate among many other things to legalize everything available right freaking now on Netflix and I congratulate you on an excellent and a really fun stand up I'd you is this your first this is your first I didn't even know you did stand up to be quite frank so I was very impressed I did it I done it longer than anything else I've been doing it 17 years this is my most special well you were I thought it was fantastic and and prophetic as well I know we filmed it in October and somehow more relevant now than when we when we taped yeah yeah you uh you have a bit where you are making fun of the show cops which is now cancelled yes and we released the clip I think the day or day after it was canceled so how do you feel about that do you feel that uh that's perfect timing I mean the timing is impeccable do you I feel like cops maybe is a show they shouldn't probably have ever existed now that I'm thinking about it they're probably not just glorifying cops like but in the 80s and 90s I did watch it as a kid I did too yeah I was glued to it it was fascinating fascistic so you have you have releases special at a time when people were allowed to gather it's hard to miss the fact that there's people gathered you just barely hit that co vid you are you hit you can't before Govan no I'm not articulate that's where you're wrong we filmed it a week ago everyone you were the last one to make a special the last the last special it is the final special so what's your life post covered what is it what is Erica Cove it ain't over brother post covert I mean Co vid is here but what's your life like now dope is here to stay I'm going a little stir-crazy but uh Kenny should accomplish I was drinking a lot and getting ahead take a month off of drinking myself a little too much self-medicating don't have any bats in the cave any boogers no sir no you look good you look beautiful Eve do you trim your nose hairs I don't see any no Wow you want less I'm I'm hashtag blessed yeah see if I give you that similar view you would not be huh do it not be both of your both of your eye lines are so like what are you guys looking at we have a television where we can see you wow you're watching cops I'm watching crops I'm not rotated videos I'm gonna look at the camera yes so yes really happy you don't have to I'm just roasting you you can look and look at where whatever your heart desires it just as a so what's what's going on how are you I will spare you that we had yesterday 41,000 new cases of kovat so we are number one congratulations I think it's worth celebrating USA and we also had 2,500 deaths yesterday to which I want to say I my only regret is that if we would have stopped testing earlier we could have saved those poor lives yep did you have gray hair before you got a salt and pepper you know Silver Fox thing going on no yeah no it's a cut it's the co vid oh it's coursing through your veins yeah yeah oh I like I like it you look mature well thank you what do you said you match and you any and you match your shirt actually I individually dye specific hairs to match the ensemble that I am wearing for the day that's have you seen this I got shot I can't show this to you but I'll describe it to you it's the most incredible thing I've ever seen you can't spell American dream without Eric Andre in the middle goddamn right my parents plan that they're very patriotic how no that's not that's just total happenstance what's the first time you realize that I mean nothing terrible I saw that on Twitter the others are like four or five years ago yeah it's not that thing ever it's right there in the middle so there you go [Music] what are we gonna do we're gonna legalize everything is that the issue today yeah [ __ ] it Yolo anarchy in the streets though but I think there's something to that I think we do need to legalize all the drugs I mean legalize everything is tongue-in-cheek right I don't mean legalize murder no not murder but yeah legalize legalize all non-violent consensual adult activities right things that bring things that bring adults joy in moderation and used responsibly and not abused should be illegal and making them an illegal doesn't make the demand for them go away no it just pushes them to the underground where they are put in the hands of violent people so yeah that's that's bored though you have stabbed it you have a wonderful anecdotes about prostitutes LSD and everything else really MDMA cocaine I think we should legalize all of it and I'd like and I'd like to know and I'd like to do all of it with you okay sounds good let go half see something oh yeah sounds great so what else is going on you you've finished you've accomplished the stand-up we've got Eric Andre coming up the new season is this year it was been released is that right yeah that's exciting season 4 season 5 going out this year we got my movie coming out on Netflix this year very exciting stuff the movie by the way which I've been looking forward to you I can't watch it anywhere right I was trying to find it cuz you've got an hour yet Oh cuz it said Jeff it was it was gonna come in April and then kovat happened it was gonna be released theatrically in April we're gonna premiere it South by Southwest released theatrically then kovat hit and all came crashing down but the net thought they loved loved thank God so you got a Netflix deal you got did they buy your soul cuz you got the they got the stand up they got hope so my souls for sale that's great I that's a great place to have your movie I can't wait to watch it it looks like because I saw the trailer and it said it came out in April or something I was like why the [ __ ] haven't I heard of this no it was supposed to be released theatrically but they no mo movie date is left yeah so are they're not open or someone weren't open or you got a six six feet from your grandpa at the movie theater it's all couples it's complex so the movie is kind of like a bad grandma s you you mind if I eat up some tacos go for it do you think is that okay my girlfriend me just microwave these leftover tacos oh you microwave your leftovers the tacos I do not like to eat them cold we're getting a little house too let me see your girlfriend oh she's very shy do you want to be on camera babe that's a hard no well let's see the doctor well can we keep the talk she's like running away from the camera she's not holding her hostage it's an Ariel Castro sir so tell me about the movie because it looks fantastic so yes it is it is a bad grandpa kind of thing is yes narrative hidden-camera we made it with the guy that directed bad grandpa all the man did become co-created Jaka so he was our mentor our Shepherd through the projects and it is a narrative hidden camera prank movie so every single scene as they get in camera prank but it pushes a story forward a la Borat Bruno bad grandpa kind of thing so next amazing I always wonder why I was watching the trailer and sometimes you do things that are might provoke a response from people that don't know a violent response for people that don't know you're pranking them does that ever happen we got a knife pulled out on this day one of shooting and rang up with the movie oh yeah but because rut we did it we did a prank you know we don't think any reactions it's all real reactions hidden camera we did a prank where me and rel our characters get their penis is stuck in a Chinese finger trap we're running and we're running all over town with her dicks no Chinese finger trap begging people to help pull us out of this thing we're in pain or in agony we went to the hood wasn't the real [ __ ] or was it a stunt [ __ ] it was a stunt [ __ ] it was just like prosthetic [ __ ] so that we were able to stretch it like yeah so so our [ __ ] are stuck in this thing but they look hyper-realistic so our [ __ ] are stuck in this thing we're stretching back before they're begging people to get us out cut us out we're in agony we're ant we went to the hood we went into this like hood ass barber shop this dude saw our dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap we begged him we're like excuse me mr. barber can we borrow your scissors and he like what bad he was like oh and he went look for his gun he couldn't find his gun grabbed a knife and started chasing us out and we could barely run in this place like cop-con peace joined at the [ __ ] and we're running for our lives as guys chasing us with a knife the thing the dicks snap Relic rolls on the ground like under a parked car I run for my life security jumps out my safe word is popcorn so I'm like I'm trying to yell popcorn security but I had so much adrenaline I just started saying the word goosebumps how about goosebumps goosebumps goosebumps and up goosebumps goosebumps because Security's like goosebumps a popcorn security jobs grabs the guy we're like it's a hidden camera prank we revealed the cameras and then he looks around and we ask him to sign a release for him yeah then he goes oh man y'all are hilarious what's this [ __ ] about and then and then he was like I want to do these frags in this neighborhood and then rel was like I want to quit I have kids I don't want to risk my life for this [ __ ] movie hmm he calls Tiffany Haddish because they're good friends he's like Eric Andre's gonna get me killed in his new movie this guy blew a weapon on us like he's like shoot he's the Klimt and she's dying laughing she called me later that day and we just had the woman that played rails sister just dropped out she couldn't do the movie so we had an opening in our cast Tiffany called me later that night Yoshio you must got real killed filming your movie because it yeah I felt embarrassed and she goes no I want to be in your movie that sounds awesome I love doing this Frank [ __ ] I was like what it's a short movie star Tiffany Haddish you got the job so that's that's kind of like although we almost died to God as Tiffany Haddish to plan the movie I'm surprised that his impulse wasn't to help you guys but to kill two poor men with their penises of stuff G well we look like eccentric german porn stars like check out on worldly delights teratogen Pinay and this guy is like I've seen too much [ __ ] let's see what you got what are we in here oh yeah what kind what kind of protein you got on there mule semen no check it was hard to tell it's very saucy so Bernie you you are a starch Bernie supporter which all of us here raise art you say start staunch staunch pasta yeah how are we feeling about Joe Biden are we are we lucky Joe Biden sloppy joe Trump yeah yes bill Joe gotta jump through the door man I don't know about you but I'm tired of old all these old [ __ ] running because Trump is old as [ __ ] - how old is he he's like 75 he's decrepit it's rumored he wears two pens he wears lips because he feels short he spray tans he has a comb-over the guys like accident he saw what he really looked like his fat all right hey Pitt pasty bald yeah lopsided legs like the decrepit old man that he's to be ageist but he's falling apart and he eats like KFC and drinks like 12 diet cokes today yeah I wonder how this you know sometimes I'll drink two diet cokes and I'm feel like I'm dying I go by and it's incredible to drink that many diet cokes oh my I almost am impressed by that at the eye I wonder what is the real reason Trump doesn't wear masks people say it's a political ploy I think he just doesn't want to I swear to God I think he has a spray tan or makeup that he doesn't want to rub off his face might be a couple couple of those things did you did you mark March with black lives matter yeah well people wearing masks I feel like whenever I saw yep they're all wearing masks but there's a guy had like a giant economy Costco thing of hand sanitizer that's what's up that's passing it out to all the people like I got handsome those other people were passing on bottled water that's nice really like you saw like a sense of community in unity that I haven't really experienced my whole life hmm it's a very diverse crowd all Millennial like Mary Lou youth-oriented I was like very proud of my generation yeah yeah I was really cool to see and there's been a real change being made it's like actually I think I'm hoping that we're like at a tipping point we were about to steer the ship like back on course against hatred and nationalism and bigotry I feel that too I think I almost thought we were hopeless for a minute but I was really impressed by the turnout I feel like if there was no kovat the turnout would have been like even crazier you know no I actually think that quarantine made people so stir-crazy and people can't work right now so they can focus on civil rights issues and they're dying to know their house and be part of community I think it actually weirdly helped I'm super waiting yeah because I noticed there's this new thing in the media now as kovat is surging out of control that now it's the it the whole fault is just the protesters and not Florida that never shut down and people have been like chilling in malls and hookah shops yeah I think any any politician will take any situation and use it for the political advantage what the [ __ ] is a else is good dude how much man I'm to the month off and drinking but I'm gonna drink this weekend make them cocktail what are you thinking I'm gonna make a hurricane I'm gonna make a pina colada the wrong guy you're planning ahead mm-hmm little math um I got a couple new cocktail cookbooks some really kind of fancier more exotic stuff swill Tiki stuff some tequila we sell my secret ingredient in cocktails crush up a little vicodin that makes a [ __ ] that makes that cocktail two for one I can't please no I'm just kidding I put cocaine on my guns but celebrating just the release of the special yeah celebrating this summer I did a little I got a I got a new jacuzzi so I'm gonna mmm hop in the coos drinks and drink some frosted drinks I'm making frozen Palomas I got a blender get a can of squirt to us tequila 3/4 out lime juice maybe a little essence of grapefruit but you get that from the squirt put in a blender with pebble ice frozen frozen Palomas all weekend really easy to make delicious bore out squirt two ounce tequila 3/4 ounce Zac write that down yeah we'll drink blender and then but break up your ice make your ice small before you put it in the blender so you get that perfect slushy consistency if you put in big cubes it's gonna not be consistent like a good consistency you like slushy consistency right Zac you writing all this yes if you think if you don't want to do it with squirt if you want a little bit healthier options you could do one and a quarter ounce grapefruit juice 3 3/4 lime 2 ounce tequila slap some basil put in some basil and muddle it put in a gob a 3/4 ounce of agave muddle it and yeah and then put and then put a little topo Chico or like a club soda video me gwah put that on top so you get that you get that sparkly that you got from the squirt if you don't want to do soda well congratulations I can see you're very much looking forward to getting the sauce on your lips I am salivating yeah you make your also interestingly a Jewish you refer to yourself as a Jewish black man Cassius Oh ash you so your your your your bluish do you feel that you are almost the perfect enemy of the Klan I feel like the Klan your enemy number one you've got all the things they dislike do you feel more discriminate do you feel more hated as a black man or a Jewish man well I think like none of the clans hatred for me can out match my self-loathing for myself right there they're like child's play yeah talk to my therapist oh you gotta show up we be is that right yeah but we can't film it because the quarantine so you kind of have a show on query kwibi kwibi that's a comic you said qui bees a starch you say you take liberties with the language in a way I've never seen before qui be well to be frank nobody really knows what kwibi is nobody knows what starch is but we're yeah we know it yeah that's true quit quit Queenie or kwibi kwibi me what hey what's the deal right what is the deal with kwibi do you uh find this whole thing come strange I mean we've been talking about it apparently they've spent half a billion on advertising and I still don't know who they are what the motive is they law they launched it a tough time they watched right - right quarantine started isn't that good for a streaming service yeah but they're like they were only streaming on iPhones and they were meant to be watched while you travel nobody that while you're traveling to work because it's like all quick bytes it's like 5 minute 10 minute shows but nobody's traveling to work you know no he's on for the subway you know so it's it's a it's a grind everybody that's putting out projects or add stuff like that was coming out right now is struggling and having to like readjust to write news probably not gonna happen for a while yeah I'm glad I got all my touring on my system last year I was gonna tour Gondry show live at the end of this year but I think I have to wait till next year yeah who knows at this point yeah I don't know I don't know i really did with our taxi we are on fire the USA is crushing it on kovat I look forward to the numbers every day at this point it's just kind of like a morbid fascination because it's just it's exponential now and we are killing it yeah Japan didn't shut down and they have little to no coke there yes like way more hygienic than us and they were masks that's don't shake hands they bow yeah just at the wear mask be smart be hygienic and no more handshakes handshakes are over every time we leave the house I still see people without a mask laughing all the time yeah well it's a cultural thing you really just really highlighted the culture of each country like u.s. Mexico and Brazil are like no masks and then the president of Brazil covet and he was in ICU Mexico is rampant in Mexico it's rampant in the United States the United States we're cowboy culture so we're like yeah you ain't gonna tell me to wear a mask but Japan is like we're obedient we're hygienic all right we got to go to work we're gonna continue they didn't shut down their businesses they didn't shut down their economy their economy is fine and their kovin Australia is doing well too but Australia has the benefit of being remote and underpopulated same wind easier but they're also much cleaner than us there's I am proud of those countries there's not like pollution and garbage everywhere we're like scum bags these Hot Cheetos I see you know but you are you you do seem very politically active what is what is what is the some some things that you are most passionate about the things we need to change here in this America the number one thing is global warming because if you cook the earth or we're all gonna die that no political opinion matters yeah there's no vetch there's no vegetation if there's no vegetables and no animals there's no food and then we die how do we fix that do we I think we just need our old politicians to die because they just don't care about it yeah there's volkova factory fun fact factory farms and fossil fuel maybe Cove it's a good thing kill everybody else kill all those yeah really really really all of humanity should probably die and we just give the planet back to the animals yeah but that's just me you are the creator of prostate karaoke are you not I am the creator I'm glad I am yes I'm a fan of Howard Stern and I have to applaud you for being the genesis of some of the best sound bites on that show thank you very much and they're very very sweet to me shout out to the Benji screams screaming and terror when his when it gets fingers up his asses truly yeah he's emotional guy very dramatic how old are you are you getting routine prostate checks yet or is that that's not yeah that was the first one he said my prostate was very healthy but I'm under 40 I guess once I'm 40 I'm afraid my prostate probably has a little growth because when I pee I get a lot of dribble sometimes I have to rush a bit blood comes out blood does come out of the the one time one time I got my prostate checked and I looked you know I felt it go away and look behind me and both of the doctors hands were in the air did Wow that was it in uh was it in a doctor's room or was it uh it in an alleyway yeah that explains that yeah for sure it was in an alleyway I was in Moscow mm-hmm you show your dick a lot how does how does that get the penis yeah what a transition what's the philosophy between the peanut with the penis flashing what's the philosophy of the Pina Colada I did not wash my penis China there is a difference right on the right that's true on the comedy special use dudes fly to China so don't get it twisted kid is it can you just show people your penis during a performance or is that continued like consent um no I'm actually in a lot of legal trouble right now and this is my last interview before I go to jail oh I'm sorry to hear that oh you actually can you can AB nudity if it's part of a performance this is a conversation we get into with my lawyer a lot of times foreigner condors show but yeah that's why there's you could do nude scenes in movies nude scenes and plays right that sense is the mangina considered nudity I don't know it's like if someone does a mangina in the forest it doesn't make a sound it's like one of those questions does it make a smell I feel like the main topic as well yeah does it have any starch right yes to both I would imagine a man it's been a while since I may enjoy nod ela have you ever seen a mangina in person no I've only seen era Contras that's the first mangina you've seen well I'm kind of bitter about that Eric you kind of this is my wife that you gave her her first mangina I'm suing you I am suing the school system I am suing the teachers I am suing the principal ela what was your reaction mangina I was impressed impressed by the people I guess I could do that wait hold on Oh blue god oh hold on I can do that I guess it doesn't seem like it would be so easy to do you just jam it back there and slam right but you did it so fast jam and slam I got a lot of experience on the draw in the West well that's something that all boys do if you didn't know you look at every boy at a certain age realize he could suck his dick good balls back and have a vagina for a minute yeah my dad was like why do you always do this thing why don't you show them your real penis man I got dad that's a crazy thing to say I was like I'm crazy but you know is there there's really not a female a version of a mangina unfortunately no there's the there's the cosiness it's described that you just got a beef up your labias oh [ __ ] stretch him out for Mom Gretchen stretch of tape there was there was the next season already shot over Kandra yeah yeah we finished shooting right before quarantine oh you are what is your accent where are you from that question daughter phaidor la Dora fedora from generation from generation to generation in Hebrew how do you say it in Hebrew what he said generational say it sounds like you're speaking Spanish daughter my daughter it's aunt EULA doughnut-dog door the door feeling that door I think the lies throwing us off I don't think that's a huge room I did it I did a show in Tel Aviv a year and a half ago it was like one of the best shows I did really it's awesome that's awesome so so height did you like they love you I like Tel Aviv yeah tell views off Facebook and the people there it was I was there for Passover Passover for mass but the promoter is great the venue was great I ate amazing food I had the best hummus of my entire leg hummus yeah I got some really good records I got really good old 70 he was at Coverity funk but compared it covers up oh this like the famous is really old 70s funk band oh let me look it up like see AV e r ET I think is a cave there may be [ __ ] awesome they call the Israeli Beatles this is how famous they were in Israel they did their last show in Israel they did a free show cavalry wait ok yeah ok ok AV ER et I found them cover it so they did their last show in Israel but by I could see in the reflection of the window they see you in the reflection you see a ghost I do I just worry about cheese Jake just at the front door he goes you just walked out the front door we can edit we can blur her in the window where she did not sign the release cabarets yeah so they were such a big deal in Israel they called them the Israeli Beatles that when they played their last show there was a million people there of an Israel of Greater Israel if you like take out the West Bank and stuff there's a population of 5 million so you have almost a quarter of the population at their concert they say the streets were empty in Tel Aviv Wow oh yeah they're cool I love them one of the main singers is also a comedian so they got this like goofy vibe epic what are some of the guests that you have on the new season can you tell yeah yeah I can tell uh gosh I'm drawing a blank I got Grimes I got little yachty I got Toro y Moi I got um a lot of rappers Freddie Gibbs trippy red I got Liz O's on Anderson pack is on Weird Al Yankovic whoo Joe Joey badass Machine Gun Kelly a lot a lot we got a lot of good people look Keith Stanfield oh gosh can you can you share with me I love your interviewing techniques and I don't know how many people are familiar with that you have a very particular way of interviewing people you turn up the heat as much as possible well we just don't run the air conditioning so it gets very very hot yeah and I'm sure it does get very hot with all the lights you your goal is to make the interviewee as uncomfortable as possible all right well I'm not uncomfortable we're just trying to make like a absurdist bizarre talk show and get like a reaction other people mm-hmm the what makes it so interesting you're watching real celebrities cope with my nonsense and they don't know who the [ __ ] I am so moon I take them to the moon is that true though I feel like people know who you are at this point maybe in the fur I think we purposely like seek out celebs that not only don't even know me but wouldn't really watch Adult Swim mmm it was it was definitely harder this year but we have some tactics yeah so we have some secret operation science make them not know too much but even if they know me or they have seen the show they don't know the gags that are coming all right you know when cockroaches start flying out of the palm anyone's gonna definitely how those tacos hitting joggers are good I want to eat some fruits and veggies I've been being real bad it's my birthday it's been my birthday week and I'm happy birthday thank you very much but it's already too healthy to quarantine yeah you know what in the quarantine you know what's an interesting phenomenon I've noticed that I've become lazier and more horrid just reprehensible just eating disgusting [ __ ] not exercising I'm stuck at home I've got more time but I'm becoming more lazy I have less energy she's like yeah I've noticed yeah she has yeah you know i yeah i got back for the first few months I was drinking every night and just beating that garbage bag and then a month ago after my girlfriend's birthday she was like we shook hands were like what's up no no booze for a month and then I just started like exercising eating healthy like trying to get back on track so I'm gonna come crashing down this weekend but I'm gonna get back on track Charlie Blake not be you not have a dad bod you know it's bad when the when you're the girl in your life is like two you've got to get your [ __ ] together because they were she kept drinking she did he's like you gotta get you sure - mm-hmm but she does not have a dad bod I what do you do for exercise Oh jump rope jog lift weights yeah jump rope jump rope fascinating can you crisscross can you double skip you got any tricks I don't think I getting double skip I'll everybody get away with like a criss cross or - that's pretty good I mean hey I'm not gonna hate on that thanks how many hours of sleep again every day well six days six days that's good I'm proud of you that's a good regular schedule what time you wake up oh wow early riser motivated whoo when do you notice I get to wish like midnight and when you get in bed what do you do you put on the TV you watch suffer you just go to sleep no no Electronics in the room like she always charges her phone in the room I try to get her phone out of the room mm-hmm no no electronics no school no screens in bed no TV no iPad no iPhone no laptop I try I don't always sometimes I fail but try to not have screens in the bedroom that's a good Paul I've heard that's a really good policy for relaxing bed I'm not good at that but and when you wake up how often how long before you retreat your phone I wake up shrieking in terror yeah I'm pretty bad I usually go right to the phone but I sometimes when I'm behaving I like I wake up a shower brush my teeth you do bite one routine then I'll meditate then I turn on the phone and they coffee mmm how long you meditate for 20 minutes before breakfast 20 minutes before dinner Wow Wow so you actually have a routine Virginia and what kind of meditation do you do TM Transcendental Meditation as and what I usually hear people say that I don't know what other kinds of meditation there are is there ones where they just they're all pretty similar it's that right it's not a drastic difference between it's either like a TM where you focus on a mantra a meaningless mantra or the breath something that's like very low stimulus that has little to no meaning so that your brain has like a resting post to kind of focus on and then your brain starts to kind of space out and thoughts good and bad kind of drift in that's your body processing stress your remaining mind processing stress then you kind of you go back to your mantra you go back to the breath it's just a way it's just simply a way to calm down your central nervous system there's that or there's like I've done like guided meditations or like Buddhist meditations where you don't close your eyes all the way you kind of keep them open and they talk to you through like appreciating your mother and everything she did for you or you your food and all the farmers that farm the food and the trucks that drove the food to the supermarket and the people that I did like some kind of like guided meditations that this Buddhist monastery what I've been in Nepal but that's not my typical but it's but they're all kind of like just a way to like calm down your nerves central nervous system and if you miss a meditation session do you feel it yeah for me it's like a hunger like it's like I'm a little anxious in the morning before work starts so I do a meditation there and then like halfway through the day that you know like you know after lunch when you kind of start to crash it's kind of like siesta time mm-hmm so like like mid-afternoon you kind of like have that slump of energy I meditate in that slump and then I come out of the meditation with like energy for the next and uh do you do you wipe or do you use a bidet I have a todo Japanese toilet that's what's up you made it bro sprays my boat oh do you have one that dries your ass as well or just spray it dries these sprays it it dries it then it analyzes your waste and sends that report to your doctor it's probably just some dude who gets off on looking at pictures of your [ __ ] yeah there's some weird Japanese guy jerking off at total Factory yeah that's like a it's like a Chuck Berry restaurant I got like GoPro cameras in my toilet like filming my butthole being awesome so do you a little bit let's talk shop a little bit because I also have the Toto do you use a drying feature or do you find that it's not very nice I don't I find it's like takes a while yeah you know I kind of don't like drying out my butthole mm-hmm it takes a long time I wish that it was just a little more high pressure yeah I agree but sometimes I'll just sit there for ten minutes my thighs will go they'll start going to sleep and it's kind of funny too because you just walk by and you the bathroom is just like over like almost fat it's a lot now what why I love it I do love it i I do use toilet paper to finish it off are you good with the bidet I do it also I do the big day though then a wet wipe then a dry whoa printed you then a little dryer then I get up and I have the squatty potty so my legs are elevated holy dude you are passionate [ __ ] yeah oh yeah and do you use the pulsating washing or just the straight while saving pulsating and oscillating I use it as well you start pulse you and what the oscillate died hybrid oh you do both at once why waste time why waste our and using water ever go up your [ __ ] no the I have like the cheaper model downstairs and that one's like a dart to the ass the one in my master bathroom is a little bit more gentle so I find that I find that when it really hits my my [ __ ] like bullseye it just it just there's like a you know that ride at Universal Studios the flood ride no oh you know you're stuck in a subway and it starts flooding Oh Oh what it's the it's the tour just a tour with the jaws and everything anyway that's what my [ __ ] feels like when I hit the bullseye and it just that's a lot if you could get a lot of water up there now and I'll be stuck on the toilet [ __ ] out the extra water weird that goes up what can I do I avoid it but that's what happens when you get a direct bullseye with a capital B if you know what I mean so okay great so so fantastic do you have a hairy [ __ ] yeah I'm not very good heard you mmhmm yeah oh wow you are really hairless that's beautiful nothing except the mangina which I actually have seen which is you know the toughed yeah you know well my my you should see my mom she's like Alec Baldwin what does that mean exactly very Airy my mom's the Jewish my mom was in the Jewish one hmm you know do you take Metamucil do you take anything to soften your bowel movements um you know what I'm glad you asked no okay I read bowel movements my babble must well perfect they're like shiny brown eggs but if that's true why are you using three steps to the wiping process that seems over killed a minute I just like the way it feels right I like the I like the confidence I enter like I start my day very confident yeah I know what you mean all right I'll be honest with you I used to use baby wipes a lot I found out they're very bad for the environment so I stopped I get the em biodegradable ones so they say that those are a lie they say no there's no such thing as biodegradable baby wipes what yeah yeah they [ __ ] I thought I was I thought I was getting me I thought I was getting there yeah it'd be approved once we were there too at one point and yeah everyone told us well really what what turned the tide for me was I I saw like sewage officials being like yeah all that [ __ ] [ __ ] think you know what sewage monsters do you know what fatberg is Oh Google fatberg it will change your life bro Fatburger yeah so when people yeah it's called a fatberg when people [ __ ] and flush baby wipes down the toilet you get these massive like clogged arteries of our sewage system called fatbergs which is just baby wipes and [ __ ] melded into a giant [ __ ] blood and have to go these people have to go down there and like scuba suits for [ __ ] and just scoop it out like a double bypass so they don't break down once that's a lie what you and trust me that's Devitt was devastating to me I'm so pleasurable mm-hmm but so I don't they'll have a whole box of it that someone bought before we learned that and it's unopened I mean we used to bright we used to buy bricks of those like sad [ __ ] kilos of cocaine bro and they come all packed like a kilo you know what about what about the for babies what do you do for an actual baby well you're supposed to discard those with the diaper so it's garbage aha doesn't go in though yeah yeah yeah yeah got it but I'll be honest with you Eric that I've stopped using all wiping I just using the bidet and every once in a while I'll go down there and check to see what's up with the baby wipes and there's a lot of she'll be honest there's a lot of [ __ ] my [ __ ] sometimes and his podcast took a horrendous turn but I'm trying my best to keep it what is the problem what is the premise of this podcast well it's shitty [ __ ] man Jonah's and uh why is it called h3h3 we should really turn roads and what is that stage yeah I know [Music] no it's our art we have a we have a channel on YouTube called a straight reproductions it's just our initials ela 3 is my name backwards Ethan its they e backwards it's lost really it's our lost way we should just call the eath the the we should really just call it poop and mangina podcast yeah you'll get it you'll get a whole new audience I saw you wanna you were on Kimble recently Jimbo Jimbo yeah Jimbo Campbell isn't worried about Wendy's my favorite Jimbo Jimbo please your Kimball is Jimmy Cooper wendy is that uh yeah that's Wendy's beatlejuice beatlejuice no it's Wendy the slow doll she goes general Campbell that a-hole I thought well hold on Zach who is it saying Jimbo Kimball it's Wendy the sauce yes Wendy the slow dog what it sounds just like her I can't go hit ball I always lose I miss beat man yeah why is he where is he he's sick he's got like diabetes and [ __ ] she's and Wendy the slow adult for those who don't know she wears a diaper and shits their pants so it all ties in true Eric Andre is there anything that you want to say to the world coming off this spectacular riveting interview what is it that you want the people to know what did they want so we've set it all I left it all out on the stage today yeah I feel that way yeah you really don't you don't trim your nose hairs do you have ear hairs that you have to pluck because I find myself your hair yeah I mean that future might be coming for me how old are you may I ask I'm 37 okay you're you see I don't know what happened I'm younger than you a little bit but I've got these really incredible your ear hairs that I just have to pluck it's all right it's just hereditary I think some of the black squashed out some of the Jew right in me so I didn't get some of the undesirable Jewish traits the main one I got is just your average crippling anxiety and self-loathing scored scored with that one I mean that's good but you don't have that your ears your hairless my mom my mom did the 23andme she was like maybe I got some North African in me hundred percent who's like the pie chart hundred percent Ashkenazi Jew in bread so I had the same test I did 23 me I was ninety-nine point seven percent Ashkenazi Jew I was like you [ __ ] not a single great-great-great grandpa stepped out of some other tribe that's an I'm the first I'm the first one in my own lineage thousands of years the [ __ ] anon to breed with a non Ashkenazi Jew with a Sephardic Jew of some you know they believe the Sephardic Jews are second-class citizens in Israel or at least they do that's crazy it's like even among good a lot there's a little bit I just find it incredible that like among Jews who moved who are outcasts from the world to Israel even amongst themselves they have seconds on that note the door of a door the door dora the explorer all right well you keep that household tight and clean my friend night-night keep your butthole tight yes or not tight whatever you're into I need even loose like a pink sock yeah you can loosen it up but keep it clean one way or the other are you going to fist Fest this year [ __ ] you know what fist fest is no it's a great Stern bit you should listen it's when a bunch of dudes who are into fisting all get together and go elbow deep in each other's [ __ ] and they prolapsed each other's penises I'm gonna I'm actually I'm going to fat bird fatberg fest yeah well you're there already you're you're contributing to fat burn yes I'll see you there my friend yes sir well thank you for calling in you're never there Phil is out now legalized everything I'm very much looking forward to all the projects you're working on we're all fans we love you very much so thank you for taking the time to call our show god bless you Eric Andre keep slamming your thing keep eating tacos keep that bull hold tight and clean keep keep the meditating go and no screens in the bedroom Gaby sounds good - thanks guys [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 952,962

Keywords: h3 podcast, h3h3 podcast, the h3 podcast, the h3h3 podcast, h3h3productions, h3h3, h3, ethan klein, hila klein, ethan and hila, ethan & hila, eric andre

Id: H28q3GpraK8

Length: 90min 25sec (5425 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 27 2020