Enneagram: Levels Of Health for Type 7

hey what's up guys thank you for joining me today my name is dr tom lehu and welcome to my channel where we talk about all kinds of things related to the enneagram and we're going to be looking at type 7 today we're going to be looking at the the levels of health for type 7 and of course if you've been with my channel for a while you know i'm a 7 wing 6 and so thank you for joining me and if you know somebody who is a 7 or you yourself rs7 i hope this video will be helpful to you help you to understand more about yourself or the person that you love and before we get started i just want to go through a couple of things one thank you for checking out uh beneath the description here is a link to my website if you are interested in doing any coaching appointments i do offer those uh on the website um also my uh my daughter madison who is a four with down syndrome she uh has her own business she started a calendar making company and her calendars are on my website if you want to support madison and uh take a look at her florida calendars um they're on the website so just a word about that i told her i would uh i would let you guys know in my videos um there are also links in the description to my other daughter's channels kaylee has an enneagram channel and so does grace kaylee's a nine and grace is an eight so if you want their perspectives they have channels and they also offer coaching appointments as well thanks to my patrons i really appreciate your continued support for the channel you guys are great good friends and i've talked to a lot of you with coaching appointments and um and i really do appreciate you guys um you're the reason why i do this all right so let's talk about type seven today also one last thing on the website um i'm going to offer i'm starting to offer a certificate program in enneagram coaching so uh information's on the website if you want to go through a program and you know talk about doing this with people uh coaching people or encouraging people from the perspective of the enneagram uh there's information on my website there so that'll be getting kicked off early next year all right so um uh so watch that for more information let's talk about type seven all right so like i said i am a seven so this is painful uh this is painful when i started to learn about the enneagram and learned about type seven it was painful to to see that side of myself i knew that things weren't always right in my in my head i knew that i was getting frustrated at times i felt like i needed a new hobby i felt like uh people you know were holding me back and i wanted to do more and be more and have more experiences um i didn't i didn't know if i should you know take up fishing or hunting or you know travel more i just knew that i was i was starting to get frustrated and i i couldn't put a finger on what it was i just felt like i needed to be doing something else need to be doing something more in addition to my job and family and and teaching at a university and all that i just felt like you know i'm missing something i'm missing out on something and when i started to study the enneagram you know it really became obvious uh what was happening i was just a seven feeling seven stuff i was just a seven feeling all the stuff that sevens feel um and you know sevens at their lowest levels of health could look like somebody who is bipolar they can look you know manic and excited and enthusiastic and fun-loving and you know around a crowd and around people that they like doing things they enjoy they're going to be upbeat and positive and excited but then you know when things settle down and there's nothing to do or you know it's one of those days where you have to go out and fix the gutters or go to lowe's you know um or you have to um stay in and nothing really fun is planned and and in the mind you're thinking we could be doing so much you know we could be going out and doing things we could be out in nature we it's kind of like the question always comes to my mind like why are we not on a plane to paris right now you know why are we not on a plane to bulgaria why are we not you know marching through the aztec jungles looking for buried treasure i mean why are we not on a pirate ship right now um why are we sitting here doing nothing and that feels like pain uh 207 it feels like pain to to be confined or restricted um and to know that there's a world going on i don't know how seven's in prison um i don't know how you know a person that's a seven in prison ever you know i don't i don't understand because it it can feel like you know normal life can feel like a prison to sevens like we we wanna just let's get in a car and let's drive across the country you know 500 in our pocket and and who needs a map just go west and um where are you going well we'll know when we get there that could also be that i'm an enfp you know that p that perceiving you know part of me that just let's keep the options open um so when i started learning about the enneagram you know i realized i'm a seven i'm a seven feeling seven stuff that's my software that i'm running you know and uh um i don't need to panic i don't need to uh i don't need to go to one and be upset sevens go to one right or look like a one uh frustrated and angry doing the right thing with our arms folded you know i don't wanna be here i wanna be somewhere else i wanna be doing something else but we're stuck here in this thing doing this thing um and sevens can be just like they're manic at times you know or excited or upbeat or positive or amping up the energy sevens can also be disconnected uh depressed um frustrated uh grumpy old bears as well um all right so let's let's look at uh the three levels of health from uh bogda's book on enneagram and coaching let's look at the three levels of health uh the lowest level of health she says for the type seven she calls the frenetic escape artist the frenetic escape artist when you think of frenetic think of like bouncing around with no real clear direction okay i looked up some other words that go along with frenetic and you might think of like frantic uh or panicked panicked frantic moving forward with no real clear direction anxious and uh at the lowest level of health you'll see sevens like escape artists just trying to get out of whatever is not enjoyable um moving away from whatever feels constrictive restrictive um tedious boring unpleasant um you'll see sevens trying to escape from that to recapture in a sense they're their happiness it's like happiness exists over there and i'm stuck here in this doing this thing i don't want to do this boring tedious task and happiness is over there and so i need to escape this to go over to the where the grass is greener to the other side the better there leave the boring terrible here for the better there i need to escape and you'll see a seven trying to move toward what they think will make them happy or satisfied remember seven's the sin of seven is gluttony and so it's never enough i'm empty i'm i'm half i'm deprived i'm having to do without i can't be i'm not satisfied and so i need one more i need to go after this thing i need to capture this i need to collect this i need to i need to obtain this one thing that's outside of my grasp and then then i'll be happy then i'll be fulfilled then i'll be i'll be okay i won't need to be anxious anymore i can rest from my from my wanting or rest from my unfulfilled desire okay so the core fear at this lowest level the frenetic escape artist is the fear of pain deprivation and not feeling whole or feeling like there's part of something missing like fours can maybe feel like there's something about them that's off or missing sevens can feel very much like they're missing out on something so it's a fear type the fear that i'm missing out on something the fear that this experience could be so much greater so much more exciting so much more you know rich and full and so the opposite of that would be like empty or missing out or deprived not being satisfied you know and this has got to be frustrating for people that live with sevens because win is enough enough you know like with a one win is good enough good enough right when when when can you say that everything is put away and cleaned up and you did good enough well a one can always feel like they they could do better a seven always feels like this experience could be better you know it could be more laughter there could be more and and so that desire for better can make us miserable and make us not be present to life make us reject what is in life because it doesn't live up to those high standards and i think the people that live with us could get frustrated because you know when is enough enough when when is it good enough when is the experience good enough uh because sevens can be bored and frustrated with the way things are okay so at the lowest level of self-mastery sevens are so consumed by anxiety that they alternate between manic behavior upbeat you know unfocused um hyperactivity i think a lot of sevens could look add or adhd as kids maybe even as adults bouncing around not wanting to focus fidgeting you know while they're talking you know or clicking and unclicking and you know rocking back and forth in our chairs and moving back and forth like this tapping our feet all of that is like i've got this nervous energy right like this experience could be better and this is getting difficult to stay focused with and if you're a seven watching these videos let me just say i appreciate you i know that it can be difficult to be focused and sevens go to five right sevens look like a five in health they get focused they need less and they get focused on something a little bit more and so i appreciate that you're staying with it this long you're what 12 minutes into the video you're doing good as a seven if you haven't clicked off already okay so uh consumed by anxiety they become you know either manic or maybe depressed and again that looks that looks bipolar right that could look bipolar to people like you're upbeat positive let's have fun and then bored and frustrated and angry and grumpy and why do we have to you know sit here and do this why can't we go do that and kind of depressed and the key at this point is you'll see the seven looking joy-less joyless which is so ironic right because sevens when they're healthy what do they bring they bring joy they bring happiness they bring upbeat positivity right the very thing that we are searching for uh the enneagram shows us the very thing that we are searching for in life is what we bring to life when we're healthy so sevens are looking for happiness they're looking for satisfaction they're looking for a better experience they're looking for more enthusiasm more energy they're looking for something full and rich and something with joy what do sevens bring when they're doing well they bring happiness they bring a richer experience they bring fun excitement enthusiasm and they bring joy joy though is when you decide that i can be happy no matter what the circumstances are you know happiness is dependent on your circumstances if everything comes out the way you wanted to then of course you're happy you know if you get to go on the carnival you get to go on the rides you get your cotton candy or your candy floss or whatever it is you call it and you get to ride the pony and you get you know a sunny day with all the people that you love and you had a great day of course anybody you would think would be happy because everything turned out the way you want it to when things don't turn out the way you want them to the external circumstances don't line up with what you would like and you can still decide to be happy that is what we call joy joy is a decision joy is a decision that i don't need everything in my life to work out the way i want it to in order for me to be at peace and to be happy i'm going to be happy no matter what by where i focus my attention if i focus my attention on what's missing on what could be better on how this could be better on how it's not going right then my attitude is going to decline because the focus of my attention is on what is incorrect but if i focus my attention on what is great on what is good and i think you know what i can envision this happier environment with all these people laughing and talking you know what i'm going to take that out of my imagination and i'm going to bring it right here into this situation whatever it is even if i'm sitting in a doctor's office even if i'm on a long drive if i can envision a better there bring elements of that better there into the right now here and that is being present to life saying i don't have to be in a different geographical location in order for me to be happy i don't have to be with different people in order for me to be happy i don't have to be doing something else in order to be happy i could be doing what i'm doing right now in a fun happy joyful way in sevens when they are unhealthy they will suck the joy the very thing they bring they will suck it out of the room they will just pull all of the happiness and the joy away when they're and and they will leave what they're doing to go after whatever or wherever they think happiness you know is but sevens that are healthy and balanced between their wings that that six wing and that eight wing when they're balanced between those wings and uh when they've when they've sat with the difficult emotions that we tend to run away from as sevens sevens bring joy positivity happiness i mean they can make dishwashing fun right sevens can make um taking out the garbage a fun experience they can enliven the atmosphere and the attitude and uh and bring joy and happiness wherever they go when they're healthy when they're not healthy they will remove fun and happiness from what would otherwise be a a fine day they'll see what's not what what's what's not going well and what could be made better joyless and even prone to causing scenes you know again i think of that kid that well why can't we play pin the tail in the donkey i want to play pin the tail on the donkey well because right now we're we're playing uh you know with play-doh so right now it's play-doh i don't want to play with play-doh i want to play pin the tail on the donkey okay and then as soon as you switch from play-doh time to pin the tail on the donkey where's the seven oh they've moved on they've already moved on to blocks you know i want to play with the blocks i want to watch this movie i want to listen to this music i want to play musical chairs it's like can you do what we're doing can you just do what the rest of the group is doing no sevens are already on to the next their their minds our minds are fast or quick and we don't like to stay with something and fully process it out so we do what is called um what is the word dispersing we disperse our focus and we disperse our energy and we're looking toward the future we're future oriented people self-referencing that's that's psychological babble for selfish okay but we could very much appear selfish to people because we're thinking about what do i want to do remember sevens eights and threes are in the aggressive or assertive stance right which means sevens eights and threes wake up with this is what i wanna do i wanna go do this i wanna go get this i wanna go figure out a way to find this and make this happen sevens eights and threes they wake up with an agenda of what they are they're figuring it out as they go self referencing what is it i want and what is it i want to do and people either need to get on board with that agenda or they need to get out of the way that's what assertive aggressive means is i'm going after what i'm going after and you need to get on board with it or you need to get it out of my way or i'm going to go about this agenda without you okay as opposed to like five four and nine which are in the withdrawn stance which are i've got to get away from people you know to recover my energy um and then of course ones twos and sixes in the compliance stance i need to move toward people to to me to meet my needs okay all right so joyless and prone to causing scenes i want to play with the blocks i don't want to play pin the tail on the donkey or scenes could also as adults maybe be more quiet no i'm fine it's okay it's whatever you know it could be those kinds of scenes like kind of pouty sulky i didn't get to do what i wanted i had to quit doing that now i've got to cut the grass and clean the pool and all these boring jobs that that make me move to one see because they're all one things you know ones wake up with what needs to be done today i love ones i love one so much i love twos i love all you people but ones i mean i think i have a special place in my heart for once my older brother is a one chester i'm glad i was born second i just got i got my great grandpa's name tom thomas and he got my grandpa's name and my dad's name chester um so anyway uh chester is a one-wing nine you know and it they wake up with the agenda of what needs to be done today of course he's got a very strong nine wing so he's not necessarily going to get it all done but i think ones just approach life with this needs to be done so let's go do what needs to be done i need i i'm a counter seven which is the social seven which is i'll sacrifice what i want for the needs of the group and i think i have a little bit better connection to that one but really seven connected to that one is such a balance i think of so many you know comedy teams that are seven and a one um that play off of each other because the one wants to do the right thing the one wants it done right correctly the seven's bored with that and wants to move on to something something else and i think as a seven if you can get in touch with that one stuff a little bit easier and not fight with it not like oh well now i have to go out and cut the grass i have to you know repair the shingles or whatever if you i have to take the dog to the vet wash the car if you could wake up in the morning as a seven and think what needs to be done today okay i accept that list this is so important i accept that list i'm not going to fight against it i accept the list of what needs to be done today and now i'm going to go do the list and i'm going to do it with joy i'm going to do it with happiness you know i'm going to invite others and let's make it fun let's turn on some good music you know and let's have a good time getting things done that need to be done and you can be a very productive seven with that kind of discipline of doing what needs to be done not just doing what you want to do doing what you want to have done that's that's healthy do what needs to be done and do it with that seven joy if you can agree to that list of what needs to be done um you can have joy in doing that and then that line to five focus until it's complete focus on getting it done until it's until it's complete okay you got that six wing of slow down make sure you're not leaving people behind people could turn against you use caution um make sure you're following the rules that's so helpful for sevens who might you know skirt the rules who might play fast and loose with the rules sixes want to follow the rules they want to stay connected to their team sixes want to make sure they're not leaving people out that's so helpful for sevens who kind of could disappear if something you know becomes unpleasant and people might wonder where they where did you go how come you didn't tell us okay and sixes you know wanna maybe be a little more detail-oriented and sixes can can have a have a focus on planning you know sevens sometimes they're called planners but i think it's more like dreamers than planners um we need that six wing to like why don't we plan this through because sevens could kind of go off you know with kind of halfway having a plan and not really thinking things through and thinking oh it's going to work out oh it's going to be great oh people are going to love it we have that positive orientation sixes have that negative orientation that no we probably better get a plan we probably need to be strategic we probably better think this through and expect the worst all of that could balance out that sevens you know sort of naive positivity um and that suspicion of the six could be a good thing for the seven uh to be a little bit like oh well people might really want more information than just you know tell them it's going to be fine or tell them it's going to work out so maybe i should think this through a little bit and of course the eight is so helpful for the seven because the eight says among other things the eight would say to the seven grow up you know be a man be a woman be a person no i want to be a child no i want to have fun uh you need to grow up you need to pay your bills that's what you need to do that 8 would say i'm going to own this and i'm going to take care of this and i'm going to move to action and i'm going to look people in the eye and i'm gonna have difficult conversations sevens might avoid difficult conversations with people and i think eights are gonna follow things through sevens might have a tendency to leave things half done oh well i pretty much know that so let's move on to the next thing oh i pretty much finished that so let's move on to the next thing eights i think are gonna stick with things and own their space own their calendar sevens might have a pretty sketchy calendar they might have three or four calendars going on and none of them really accurately represent what's actually you know on their agenda sevens can be afraid of calendars because calendars restrict us you put something on a calendar then well i can't do anything else that day if i said that i'm going to be at that meeting at two o'clock from four o'clock then what if something else comes along that might be more fun or more exciting and more what sevens like to keep their options open you know eights when they sign up for something they're gonna show up for it they um so i think the eight could help sevens sort of grow up be mature own our space have difficult conversations with people follow things through to the finish um move to action and not just be in dreamy land because eights want to get things done eights are action oriented people sevens they could live in their heads a little bit so those lines to one to five five also by the way says maybe you don't need this maybe you could live without it um maybe you could have better boundaries with people and have better space sometimes sevens could just steamroll into relationships and steamroll over people and just you know barge into an office unannounced and just take over somebody's time and conversation fives want to keep that space and boundaries and and everybody stay in your lane all of that can be so helpful for for sevens to you know to integrate to uh and to be aware of so sevens are this is again the lowest level right the frenetic i feel a little frenetic as i talk about this my my style of talking and communication is a little frenetic um a little bouncing around like tigger from one thing to the next sevens are perpetually fleeing from self-reflection and looking around to see who they can blame for their circumstances again angry and frustrated when things don't go right oh it's their fault you know the trip ruiners are ruining the trip we could be doing so much more we could be making so much progress we're we're not going to make it on all the roller coasters because people are going too slow come on we're missing out all right i think it's interesting that the way she says sevens are perpetually fleeing because if you live with a seven you might not be aware of this what you see is you see a seven chasing stuff you see a seven moving toward things you know moving toward adventures moving toward travel moving toward plans and dreams and opportunities and um you know new experiences and new ideas and you'll see them moving towards stuff but you might want to like reverse that flip it try to pay attention like are are sevens moving towards something are they moving away from something if they're moving away from something what is it that they're moving away from that's not as pleasant a thought you know for the seven because they see themselves as moving toward things toward new ideas toward new experiences well what what's motivating all this you know what's pushing all of this what's driving all of this frenetic uh energy except that the seven is actually just trying to move away from boredom emptiness sadness anger uh frustration loneliness um deprivation tedious work there might be a long list of things that sevens are moving away from what if you didn't have to move away from that would your life be better would your life be more rich would your life be fuller what maybe you wouldn't be inclined to make some of the mistakes that you might make if you weren't so driven away what if you could sit with pain and boredom what if what if it what if you were immune to it you see what if you were immune to the pain of boredom and tedious and to do lists and restrictions and calendars and i mean what if you what if you could endure all of that and come out unscathed what if ariel could sit in her grotto surrounded by all of her collections and not feel like she's missing out on some better life above the surface what if she could what if she could be okay with just what she has would her life be different would her life perhaps be better um sevens are running away from something and i think that's worth considering you might want to go out in the nature and sit on a rock if you can stand to sit alone for for 15 or 20 minutes and just think about you know what have i moved away from and what what damage has that caused me and those that depend on me or those that are in relationship with me moving away so quickly from things have i done that in my life have i moved away from from perfectly fine situations just because i got bored with it and as christians you know sometimes we can blame all this on god well i think god wants me to move on to something else what if god wants you to stay right in what you're in even though it's painful oh well no i don't think that's all right i think god wants me to move on to newer greener pastures somewhere else well that's interesting that that's exactly what you want to do um because when i read the bible it doesn't seem like god often tells us to do the very things we want to do often he tells us to to do the things that are difficult for us so interesting thoughts um so the desire to do everything the resistance of boundaries and limits what if the inward journey could become uh something that was exciting what if sitting and thinking and reflecting and going inward and looking at the sadness that lies in the cracks of of my life or the anger that hides out in the corners what what if inspecting those and and searching those what if that could be a new fulfilling experience what if that was a journey of its own feeling cornered and trapped sevens engage in self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors feeling cornered and trapped we might be inclined to engage in self-defeating self-destructive behaviors such as let's just throw that word credit card out okay so if i'm feeling bored and stuck and trapped and nothing to do and nothing's exciting self-destructive behavior might be to go out and grab a credit card and charge up a bunch of fun experiences or or even the the thrill of buying stuff you know can make you feel some some level of excitement or eating out at new restaurants um or or going to new places and doing things you know all that takes money right it may not be in my best interest to spend a bunch of money um because you know later on a bill will come and seven ends up at one doing the right thing even though they don't want to paying the bills and so sometimes we might end up self-destructive behaviors because we just can't sit with and and find happiness and joy in the midst of tedious boring difficult things all right so let's look at the middle level of health the mid level of health is called the stimulator the stimulator let's have stimulating conversations let's do things let's learn things let's get out there and talk about things let's stimulate discussion let's stimulate activity is it productive well not always maybe sometimes is it beneficial is it helping others is it in my best interest or yours uh well i don't know that the seven's thinking like that so a mid-level um health the core concern is satisfaction which implies emptiness right uh stimulation i want something to do that was me a couple of years ago i want something to do maybe i need a new hobby maybe i need to learn about fishing maybe i need to learn about hunting i hate fishing because fishing is so boring you know it you're just literally just sitting there now if you were out on a boat you know or better yet jet skis okay that's exciting but it's just that i need to do something i need i need to find something to do and feeling good sevens want to feel good why would you want to feel bad why would you want to move toward things that make you feel bad it seems like an obvious choice if it is a choice to move toward things that make you feel good um sevens could end up maybe substance abusers because they're moving towards something away from the bad feelings toward better feelings or good feelings and substances can tweak those experiences right you can reach for substances to help you numb certain things and emphasize other things and so sevens in their pursuit their quest for you know numbing their pain or moving away from painful things or upping the experience could end up maybe reaching out to substances and abusing those satisfaction stimulation feeling good at mid-level sevens can be very creative and engaging which sevens have a synthesizing mind which means we take two things that don't normally fit together and we put them together and we come up with new ideas that's very seven to do that like let's say you think of uh fragrances cologne fragrances perfumes and then you say huh think of all the different jobs people do what if there was a fragrance that fit every job you know what if there was the fragrance for the plumber the fragrance for the carpenter and it smells like wood you know in resin i don't know what the one that smells like a plumber probably bad but what if there was a fragrance for the librarian this smells like books and dust you know what if there was a fragrance for the uh for the police officer that smells like i don't know maybe gun powder and sweat and uh clean laundry you know and blend all those things together what if there was a fragrance for firefighters you know that smells like smoke and tires and now maybe all of those sound disgusting but look what i'm doing i'm taking two worlds and putting them together and coming up with a very creative idea and i want to go on and on with that but that's not the subject of this video but uh creative and engaging frenzied and impatient their minds work so fast that they have sometimes we have the tendency to kind of halfway think through things and then let's start the company let's start the business this is going to be great people are going to love it well where's your uh where's your business plan oh that's boring that's tedious i'll hire a one to do that see seven's that connection to one why can't we do that why can't we think through the business plan the business model um why can't we go go to our six wing and project out what we think you know things that could go wrong and how to uh you know whatever okay so sometimes we can have sort of half thought through notions of of and and express them before maybe we should because sevens tend to be over sharers we tend to share information freely and willingly and i think that's a good thing when we go to five and dig out a lot of facts and then we share them willingly but sometimes we might over share ideas before we've had really time to sit with them and do the hard work you know the chair work where you sit in your chair and you develop an idea and you sit with it and think it through we don't necessarily want to do all of that so we start to just share the idea you know at the beginning phase and maybe express it before we've had time to really develop it um overestimate their own competence and their own knowledge because sevens know sevens usually have a breadth of knowledge not necessarily a huge depth of knowledge we tend to want to know a lot about a lot and we don't want to go deep with something because that's where the real hard work the boring tedious stuff of really knowing something intimately and we've pretty well got that figured out let's move on to the next subject ah we've pretty well figured that out let's move on to the next subject and so um we consider ourselves often to be quick studies like let's we've got it figured out let's move on and we're addicted to the adrenaline rush of new and stimulating experiences so no matter what it is the topic starts to get a little bit boring sometimes to sevens and they move on to some other and if you live with a seven you've probably seen this like you know they're very much into mountain biking and then once they feel like they've kind of lived that dream then they're very much into you know horses and then they've lived that and then they're very much into and they can kind of jump through things look back over the last 10 years you know and and see if that's been been the case um they can be that way with work too you know multiple different careers not just jobs not just moving from one city to the next but multiple careers like i want to be a doctor oh i don't think i want to do that anymore i want to do you know in this move because i'm missing out that other experience that other experience or that other city or that other job or that other life out there that could be better i need to experience that and try it sevens want to try them all sevens want to try them all like a smorgasbord and time's running out so i need to try them all so i know which one's best well maybe the best one is the one that you just stick with that's a hard thought for for sevens maybe the one i stick with will get better with time um sevens can end up with sort of piles of collections that don't really satisfy anymore like ariel you know in her grotto with all of her collections sevens could end up with a pile of broken promises that they've left behind as well a lot of pain of broken promises that they've left okay um have a hard time carrying a task to completion and then when they've made those broken promises and then and they've let people down and there's hurt they've caused hurt of course sevens don't want to cause hurt because we move away from everything that's painful so we don't want to think that we've caused hurt we may not even be able to accept that idea that if somebody said hey you know you really hurt me when you uh sevens are quickly going to synthesize and reframe oh no no no no no i didn't mean that no no i don't i don't think you're understanding what i meant and we'll reframe and the the conversation or the event in such a way to try to help you to see that that was never our intention we we certainly don't want to hurt anybody's feelings we really don't want to cause any pain in this world that might keep us from taking responsibility and owning up to the pain that we've actually caused um wouldn't it be better off if we just said you know what i'm sorry i was wrong i shouldn't have done that and let me make it up to you or let me apologize to you or and just own it no no we got to move away from that painful feeling of being wrong and admitting wrong and of causing pain so let's reframe that to well no no that that isn't what i meant sevens do a lot of reframing for themselves and in relation to other people um we tend to want to turn things around to the positive when even it might be beneficial to just sit with the negative maybe we ought to just sit with a negative for a while and realize that something bad has happened or something unfortunate has happened and then learn from that experience but we won't necessarily learn from the experience because we quickly brush it away and and and come to the positive side of it which you know can make people really like being around us when they want that positive energy but could also make people feel like we're not really understanding or appreciating their concerns when we quickly brush it away and try to move toward the positive all right so the lowest level the frenetic escape artist the mid-level the stimulator stimulating great thoughts and stimulating new ideas and stimulating exciting moments and stimul okay what's the highest level of health the focused inspirer the focused inspirer inspiring people to new and better and more the focused inspirer i like that that's what i want to do i want to inspire you to learn more about yourself and to be more compassionate with others i want to inspire people to be all that they're created to be i want to inspire husbands and wives to get along better and love their kids and kids to love their parents and communities to work together i do want to inspire people the core understanding at this highest level is that genuine happiness and i would say joy right because happiness depends on the circumstances joy is something you have regardless of the circumstances genuine happiness and feeling of wholeness remember the lower levels i'm not satisfied i'm missing out i'm missing something ah but at the higher level there's this sense that everything is as it should be that there is a greater plan than just my dreams and wishes and wants and plans my plan might not be working but there's a greater plan that is at work and i'm okay and i don't need to be restless sevens can be very restless there is a sense of wholeness that come from integrating the negative and positive experiences of life and again sevens tend to run away from the negative or what is perceived to be negative towards what is positive but when we can sit with the negative long enough and realize that it's not killing me to be bored it's not killing me to uh to to be at a funeral it's not killing me to be in a hospital it's not killing me to go to the dentist it's okay i'm all right i'm surviving um a general peace and sense of wholeness can come over us as sevens and we can find joy in the hard things of life and bring joy into the hard things of life i think of two movies by um robin williams who is very much a seven okay i think of dead poets society maybe go back and watch that if you want to see the highest level of a seven inspiring these young minds to think about the more important things of life all these young students they're all focused on achieving they're all focused on you know relating to one another and being how they're being perceived and robin williams character inspires them to really think about the bigger questions of life that's a great picture of a healthy i think a healthy seven and then i think of patch adams you know who is another character of robin williams who goes to training to become a doctor wants to go to the elderly and bring joy to them he wants to go to the children's hospital and dress up like a clown and bring joy to those people bringing joy into despair that's what sevens do when they're healthy now flip that around when sevens are unhealthy they're they're bringing despair where there where there could be joy they're frustrated and upset and angry that things aren't going better that we're not doing more that we're not getting to see all the sights we're not playing i want to play pin the tail in the donkey you're a birthday party it should be fun but no you're upset because we could be doing this we're missing out we need to stay another day we need to go to this better restaurant we when sevens are healthy and balanced um and at peace and they can sit with the negative and not have to escape always they're able to move to a higher level of joy and wholeness not feeling like they're missing out or at least not acting on that feeling recognizing it's there and saying oh a 7 feeling 7 stuff but you know what i'm not missing out this place that i'm at right now is just as good as any other place this activity i'm doing right now is just as important as any other activity i could be doing and the the focus of my attention needs to be on being present right here in this moment and if the joy level is low then i can do something about that i can increase the joy level if i will just accept what is and not fight with it not fight with life if i can just accept that i'm here right now at this place and i'm responsible for my own happiness i decide whether i'm going to be happy and be at peace or whether i want to be frustrated and miserable because it could be better okay i leaned on my eight there a little bit all right so uh they learn to tame their highly active minds which is not an easy task and learning to do this sevens increase their capacity to focus on people on tasks on jobs on their feelings and go deeper sevens are going deeper sevens want to bounce around skim across the surface right but when sevens are healthy they go deeper like fives they go deeper rather than dispersing all of their energy they complete their work effortlessly they listen well sevens don't want to listen sevens here the first sentence first part of the sentence you say and then what bounce away oh yeah i know what you're going to say next so i don't need to listen so they're there attending and then they're not attending any longer and when sevens are healthy they're able to focus more on their conversations they're able to be present more in their relationships they emanate happiness and a peaceful joy contrast peaceful joy with frenetic escape artist peaceful joy frenetic escape artist which one are you more like right now that's a good way to decide how healthy am i as a person i'm not saying you're not getting a lot done and i'm not saying you're not seeing a lot of sites and accomplishing a lot of things but is it with frenetic escape you know panicked anxious energy or is it with a calm peaceful serene joy which one do you think would be easier to live with maybe it's no wonder why you might be having problems in your marriage or in your home it would be difficult to live with a frenetic escape artist who can always see how this could be better and we're all to blame because things aren't fun it would be much easier to live with somebody who is got a sense of peaceful joy accepts the to-do list of what needs to be done and does it with a song in their heart and a smile on their face and isn't running away from people but is running toward people to include them in their life um spirited and deep these sevens have a true sense of wonder and they inspire others to wonder and to dream not by uh energy not by energizing others but through their calm yet vital presence yeah i love it well i'm not there yet i'm working on it i'm moving that direction um i hope that you are too and um i hope this video has been helpful to you i hope it's encouraging to you and we've all got a lot of work to do and let's do it together okay so let's uh learn more about the enneagram learn more about ourselves learn more about our personalities how god has created us the brokenness that we're in in this world and let's uh let's decide that we're going to focus our attention on on what we're doing in the moment and on having joy and on rather than i gotta get out of here and do fun things why can't i just do the things i'm doing in a more fun way all right be present to life guys thank you

Channel: Dr. Tom LaHue

Views: 5,245

Rating: 4.9480519 out of 5

Keywords: enneagram, enneagram type 7, type seven, personalities, relationships, marriage, parenting, family, love, home

Id: w0JXvY16yWM

Length: 52min 10sec (3130 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 11 2020