ELECTIONWATCH 2017

[Music] it's election season you know what that means it's time for all the worthless ideologues of the world to take time out of complaining that Magic the Gathering feminists are going to steal their anime titties and pretend that they know anything about politics but wait a minute according to people who definitely aren't Nazis and just happen to have iron cross avatars I'm also just a worthless ideologue that's great that means I can get in on the action ah lock your doors activate your Ray shield settle in around the blessed computer monitor and crack open a boy with your cold ones it's time for election watch 2017 there's a bird in the rafters and I don't know how to get it out because it's scared of me so it just goes away how the heck infringe we get here well our story begins in 2015 when david cameron amidst hemorrhaging votes to further right party's calling to leave the EU and his own parties in fighting about whether they wanted to remain or not decided to defer this problem by pledging that if elected he would hold a referendum on Britain's EU membership after losing this election to cameron despite living up to his party's principles of not having any anymore ed Miliband resigned as labor leader triggering a leadership election among the folks running for leader was Jeremy Corbyn on a platform of anti austerity and anti being almost exactly like the Tories to run for leader you need nominations from other MPs and for a joke several MPs nominated him certain he wouldn't actually win unfortunately for them it turns out that Labour's membership weren't in on the joke because the completely unelectable Corbin was elected to the party leadership with the largest majority ever even more than Tony Blair then the brexit referendum came Cameron's strategy of hoping the Conservatives would figure out their sounds on brexit before the referendum failed with half as MPs going out in a giant bus with Ally on it to talk about how much cake we export to France and tell us about how the money birds will leave the EU with us and come back to build hospitals with magic and the other half defending remaining on the admittedly shaky ground that it's a good idea and better for everyone MPs on the remain site included David Cameron George Osborne Philip Hammond and Home Secretary Theresa May who loved being in the European Union and when I put all that together when I think about the potential risk to jobs the uncertainties for our economy if we were to leave I do believe we are more secure in the EU keep an eye on her I have a feeling she'll come up later labour was far less divided on brexit campaigning on the unified principles of remaining being good and trying to sabotage Corbin's leadership in their own party along with it now strangely enough amid stood the ruling party having no idea which was the better option and the opposition being too busy trying to kill itself the remain message got somewhat muddled and the referendum ended narrowly in favor of Britain leaving the European Union victorious having finally gotten what he wanted and realizing the time had come to settle in and get some actual work done sorting things out and negotiating exactly how we leave kore leave campaigner Nigel Farage moved to America not that I'm criticizing him I think Faraj has a point here who'd want to live in Britain after all we're leaving the European Union managing brexit we had David Cameron who drooled out resigning if the referendum didn't go his way and like Tories are know to do committed to keeping his promises in a way there's a link to the decision to resign as Prime Minister as a country major decision a decision I advised against but nonetheless the decisions been made I want the government to successfully pursue that decision and to get it right great another leadership election luckily since all the major probe wrecks at MPs had realised they didn't actually want to have to deal with this and faded into the background Pro remain MP Theresa May 1 in a short landslide in prime position to negotiate doing what she'd said just a few months prior would be a horrible mistake meanwhile in Labour's camp labour ministers deliberated and after losing a referendum because they were too busy trying to get rid of Jeremy Corbyn concluded that the problem was Jeremy Corbyn and tried to get rid of him I think Jeremy's position is now untenable and being the decent man that he is I hope he will recognize that and step down that way they could get back to fulfilling Labour's destiny of being completely ineffective in her resignation letter form a shadow for Secretary of State Angela Eagle wrote to Corbin under your leadership the case to remain in the EU was made with half-hearted ambivalence I have come to the conclusion that you are not the right person to lead the party that's right according to Eagle Corbin simply hadn't campaigned hard enough and that what cost them the referendum unfortunately for her many within labor thought Corbin had campaigned harder than anyone else and simply hadn't had any representation because the media are too busy reporting the conservative infighting one Minister even wrote Jeremy is up and down the country pursuing an itinerary that would make a 25 year old tired he has not stopped we are doing our best but if we're not reported it's very difficult strong inspiring words from that MP what's their name again oh yeah Angela Eagle wait hold on a second after a mass resignation calls for Corbin himself to resign and a vote of no-confidence labour had its second leadership election in a year true to her confusing and contradictory words Angela eagle proved how unelectable Corbin was by running against him and then dropping out after eight days but soon MP figured out that they were sure they'd found the electable candidate falling in line behind Owen Smith and ready to get back to business Smith spectacularly lost to Jeremy Corbyn who won with an even larger percentage of the vote than he did last time making him the most elected leader of labour again even more this time it seems that Labour is definitively stuck with the unelectable weirdo that no one wants simply down to the fact that people want him there democracy is really confusing sometimes anyway now that both parties had their leadership sorted out we could finally get down to the brass tacks of actually negotiating brexit but then it turned out that no one knows what brexit means grexit means breakfast yeah all right yeah okay people talk about the sort of breakfast that there is going to be the arts off it is great white actually we want some red light is blue great that is the right breakfast for the United Kingdom red white and blue brexit so three breakfasts or two all three cumulatively mean one breakfast singularly I'm glad we have the daughter of a vicar working all this out she'll be greater answering questions of consubstantiation may was finally in prime position to handle these difficult negotiations out of the union she didn't want to leave and luckily she could focus all of her time and effort onto it because she had ruled out a snap election and like Tories are known to do she committed to keeping her promises the government should call a general election a way I'm in the opposite of that so here we are now attempting to negotiate one of the most important diplomatic deals in the history of our country and being made to choose between a man who didn't want to leave but at least his party membership wanted him in charge and a woman who didn't want to leave but whose party membership aren't even allowed to vote on who gets to be leader for the pro brexit lot it's a bit like having to choose between a rock and a hard place with a dementia tax but don't worry I'm certain the electorate will continue to make the shittest possible choice part 2 media bias but enough about how we got here what about how the media talks about all of this let's look at how they talk about Jeremy Corbyn for a little bit many Labour MPs were certain he was unelectable and the totally unbiased media made sure you knew those opinions ahead of even knowing why he was unelectable but a couple of people think you wouldn't want to elect him and it's imperative that you know they think that over and over forever for a time the early stories about the quarter resembled an angry text algorithm generating random complaints based on the angle of his bow or offhand comments about how World Peace would be nice it was almost as if Corbin's actually left-wing policies threatened huge companies like News Corp and they felt the need to smear him in order to try and destroy him I mean almost I mean a little bit maybe National Anthem outrage core blurbs the Queen court jester we put a hat on him so you know he's bad the New Labour leader treated himself to a black habit at home yesterday abandoning the chairman mao styled bicycle his neighbors always see him riding what what Maui about it exactly like what I revealed how Jeremy Corbyn welcomed the prospect of an asteroid wiping out humanity he has also called for the legalization that he is also called for the legalization of the possession of cannabis wait hang on I thought you didn't want us to elect him labor and melt down Corbin abolish the army new leaders potty plan for world peace free rugby attack scars did I wake in a foreign country this is what happens when you elect a vegetarian to lead us talk what what does that have to do with anything I retire from the Army in six months he can knock himself out good lad he'll be gone from his job before you are yours [Music] they're so mad they even recycled some old propaganda they use with the last Labour leader it got so bad that at one point the mail on Sunday ran a hit piece with the title labor must kill vampire Jezza only ten days after the actual brutal murder of Labour MP Joe Cox luckily someone eventually realized that this was something of a bad look and the online version changed its title slightly Corbin signals sky-high immigration would continue under Labour to continue from who complete from who who is in charge here and let's not forget this piece of speculative fiction The Mail on Sunday actually printed about a prospective Jeremy Corbyn leadership Prime Minister Corbin and the thousand days that destroyed Britain as this brilliant imagining of a Corbin Premiership fuck-you reveals Tories who gloat over Labour's well should be careful what they wish for the night sky over London was thick with joking black smog by the way I'm tourism a abolished the the climate council you might want to retract that bit not for him the Prime Minister's Jaguar in which his hated mrs. Thatcher had departed on the night she too was deposed all government cars had long since been sold in a desperate bid to pay off the three trillion national debt Coppens chief of staff Owen Jones declared that the people had taken back their country the red flag was home from the windows of number 10 Russell Brand kept his garbled verbosity in check for once and simply tweeted yes meanwhile the media reporting the growing opposition to the government and the whispers of a no confidence vote in the House of Commons were accused of treachery the far left had always believed as their inability to win elections was due to the machination of right-wing press barons who poisoned the people's minds against how can you not realize that you arguing that you literally publishing fan fiction in which Jeremy Corbyn destroys Britain what the ironically it was Corbin's better nature that finally defeated him he lacked the Stalinist vo to force the people into submission Teixeira's reported ticket sales on first-class flights out of London and none at all coming back one direction went off on a US tour and never returned okay this is actually starting to sound pretty good now now you might be inclined to say that a media willing to publish two thousand six hundred words of fan fiction about how Jeremy Corbyn destroyed Britain could be a little bit biased against Corbin and his politics and perhaps distorting his views somewhat you know maybe a little bit but let's be fair media bias where's your proof that's happening you asked and you're right ignoring the wealth of evidence I've just provided for a second I don't have any proof that the media is misrepresenting Corbin and his views all I have is eyes that read newspapers a functioning brain and oh yeah a study by the London School of Economics showing that around 75 percent of press coverage of Corbin and his views misrepresented him and only 11% of the total coverage didn't distort any of his views whatsoever with the Daily Express and Daily Mail failing to provide any such coverage at all Jeremy Corbyn is completely unelectable nobody likes him and we know this said the media because we keep lying about him but eventually the media started to find things they could smear him about because they might actually be true for example many of accused Corbin of being soft on terrorism and the IRA did you appear in a picture with the bad people Jeremy are you friends with the bad people Jeremy did you personally bomb the pub Jeremy before riding off in your mouth bicycle or in your Stalin adjacent weather balloon we here in my shed can read a special report detailing all of Corbin's shady dealings with the IRA during the 1980s Corbin spoke openly with both Irish Republicans and Ulster loyalists in an attempt to bring about a peaceful resolution to the Irish conflict during this period of openness Margaret Thatcher was giving long speeches explaining that it was wrong to negotiate with terrorists which it later turned out from declassified documents she literally was doing in secret in 1994 Corbin signed a parliamentary motion on the 20th anniversary of the IRA pub in Birmingham a motion which called the attack a terrorist atrocity in 1995 Corbin met with Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness of SH insane the political wing of the Irish Republican movement which you'll be shocked to discover are not a terrorist group unless people wanting to control their country terrifies you in which case I hope you didn't vote brexit this happened either during or after the declaration that the Northern Irish had the right to self-determination an event which led to the IRA ceasefire and quite directly to the disbanding of the organisation entirely in 2013 urban receives the Gandhi Foundation International Peace Award for among hard opposition to pointless Wars helping to bring a peaceful solution to the conflict in Northern Ireland and that's it clearly a man known to be flip-flopping on whether or not he likes the IRA I can see how many conservative ministers might be confused as to what side Corvin was on after all it was a very confusing time for them their Prime Minister was secretly negotiating with the IRA while condemning the idea of negotiating with the IRA I can see how it might have been difficult for them to fathom that there was a way of finding peace that didn't require lies smear tactics and back channels with terrorism maybe they're criticizing Corbin for not talking to the IRA in secret like they were but none of this stopped the media from parading around the same couple of pictures again it's important to guilt people by association if you've met someone you're guilty of all of their crimes even ones they've never actually committed he is Corbin with shin famed president Gerry Adams he is Corbin with shin famed president Gerry Adams he is Prince Charles with shin Fane president Gerry oh dear how did I get there he is vampire Jezza having coffee with Martin McGuinness he is Corbin hanging out with Martin McGuinness and he is the Queen shaking hands with Martin wait no cut rewind the part three will you kill millions Jeremy one other thing the media and opposition have managed to hammered Corbin on is his stance on nuclear war Corbin thinks it's bad and should be avoided at all costs the monster might be incredibly concerning that you wouldn't ever commit commit to doing like that safety that me to look out first and foremost any government Jeremy has trouble giving a satisfying answer to that question you see everyone expected him to immediately begin fantasizing about the deaths he'd be willing to cause if he was pushed to it and imagine a situation where he would have to push it so he could simply say yes or no but instead he went into this law thoughtful piece where he elaborated upon how even getting to that situation would put the world at tremendous risk and the real solution is how you avoid doing that but that he will obviously pursue it as a second use policy naturally people weren't happy with that kind of answer would you allow North Korea or so media in Iran to bombers you'll be Kuwait will you kill millions Jeremy will you kill millions Jeremy Jeremy will you kill millions you see I'd love to vote for you Jeremy but as a Tory voter I have this unquenchable thirst for blood that can only be satiated with the most powerful weapon ever conceived by mankind the old adage is speak softly and carry a big stick not threatened everyone else you have a stick with your stick and then wonder why everyone else has started hitting you if you position yourself as ready at any moment to hit the button your enemies prepare to hit theirs and that's not a great situation for the you know planet that we live on first use isn't a self defense mechanism it's a self-destruct mechanism there is no situation where a first use will be the only use because the second use will be to kill us back the times in history humanity has come the closest to nuclear war have been caused by one side becoming convinced the other fully intended to and was just about to launch their own weapons an active strategy of de-escalation doesn't sound very jingoistic or protective but it's literally the best option and fantasizing about how your enemies are constantly waiting to use theirs the instant they smell weakness literally directly prolongs the problem luckily it's unlikely either of these gentlemen will ever get their hands on the kill everyone death button although thanks to a recent investigation for election fraud I hear there might be an opening coming up in self damnit justify I don't know family everyone in this room seems so keen on Koenig millions of people within part for the policy problem but enough about the bikes Corbin stole from history's greatest monsters and how despicable it is that he won't nuke people what about both parties actual policies labor have a 128 page manifesto detailing all their ideas such as reducing class sizes and schools investing an infrastructure over 30 billion in funding for the NHS over next polymer and free school meals for every child but where's the money for that going to come from Jezza there's no magic money tree and we have to stop thinking as you do but there's a magic money tree trick I mean he has this money tree wishlist in his manifesto and I'm being honest with you in terms of saying that we will put more money into the NHS wait no do the magic money tree that we can shake that suddenly provides for everything that people want Teresa someone's already used that one liner you probably should have watched the debate shouldn't yet there's all the money going to come awake the manifesto is fully costed explaining how much every policy will cost in estimation and how the money will be raised for example those free school meals I mentioned are estimated to cost no point nine billion pounds and this cost will be covered by removing that exemption on private school fees making the country around 1.2 billion pounds which actually puts the country further into the blacks and most austerity policies so what about the Conservatives books where does the money come from for their ideas well nobody knows because they're smaller eighty eight page manifesto isn't costed it's very easy to think about how you spend money it's a lot harder to think about how you raise money yeah it is pretty hard isn't it that's probably why the Conservatives didn't bother to check how much money their ideas would cost luckily former Chancellor Ken Clark came to the Tory's rescue by saying manifestos shouldn't be costed because then the Chancellor can be flexible if you make no falsifiable promises and don't tell anyone anything specific then you can't be accused of not doing anything like he used to vote Tory will balance the books although we don't know what's in them exactly you're just going to have to trust us we return to an Amber rod the question is about trusting plans and in your manifesto there was a notable absence of coveting well I would say in answers that question judge us on our record on our record would have all right amber I get it there's no magic money tree all right what about the actual trees there's also the problem of what critics are calling the dementia tax the manifesto lays out that the elderly must pay for their own care if they have savings in property worth more than a hundred thousand pounds in other words if they own a house that probably have to sell it to pay for the care they'll need although if they don't want to lose their home for some reason the payment can be deferred until after they die how generous taxes like this asking important questions such as part 5 or the tories trying to throw the election are they trying to lose so that when labor or someone else and evitable II don't get a great deal out of brexit because brexit was a bad idea they can then spin it as their mistake or are they just so sure they're going to win that they don't even think they have to bother hiding their true ideas now you might have expected to resume to defend her party's policies at the leaders debate but she didn't bother going to the leaders debate she instead sent Home Secretary amber Rudd to scene before making the money tree comments a little odd traditionally for the prime minister who thought it was an easy win to hide from being scrutinized well I'm interested you know in the fact that Jeremy Corbyn seems to be paying for our more attention to how many appearances on telly he's doing and he ought to be playing a little more attention to thinking about brexit negotiations that's what I'm doing so make sure we get the best possible deal for Britain yes I also wouldn't let myself be distracted from brexit negotiations by having to go to a debate or by for example calling an election must be distracting Theresa mustn't it that election that you called remember the one you said you wouldn't this level of incompetence is so exquisite that it almost has to have been managed hold on a second Teresa I really don't want to belabor half this point but the leaflet that got sent to my door says strong stable leadership in the national interest what leadership you didn't turn up to the debate and you won't tell us who's going to be in your cabinet now there's been an increase in the Tories complaining about how the media are biased against them for example claiming the BBC used a purposefully biased audience against them in the leaders debate as if it is somehow possible to find an audience neutral on a party not being bothered to send their leader to the leader debate in an election they called and to be fair I am also myself a little bit biased as a socialist I'm biased in favor of peace justice humanity health care facts and the truth the big six we call them trying to do their side a favor the son attempted to spin the Tories policies as good for Millennials for example how awful would it be if Labour ended tuition fees this would surely benefit richer families more poorer students would be left out in the dirt without even the warmth of debt for comfort and taxes will be lighter on Millennials under the Tories because they're shifting so much of the burden onto the elderly while the sun's finally coming up on Tori Britain now isn't it and now they're even saying make Britain great again something you'd think they'd have done in the past seven years they've had in government but no this time we promised cutting more stuff for work but just don't ask us how much stuff we're cutting this is the kind of strategy I would adopt if I wanted to lose the election on purpose and I hope they are because that way they're at least looking evil intentionally and that's not even getting into the arms dealing with Saudi Arabia which we should probably go into a bit shouldn't we well he is Nicolas Wilson a campaigner for anti-corruption trying to do just that on the 3rd of June Oh who's that over there surreptitiously handing a piece of paper to the chairman that's amber Rudd the current Home Secretary and tourism a star debater [Music] come on that's certainly one way of holding a debate now I don't like being an alarmist sort of person but honestly seeing stuff like this happen in Britain is a little bit terrifying and it leads me to ask the question what if we're totally now the way the polls are looking it seems like the Conservative Party are going to get the most votes which unfortunately in our system means they'll win we're going to find out together the real cost of the dementia tax of slashing budgets of their bizarre opinions about cybersecurity and how basically you shouldn't be allowed to have any privacy we're gonna find out what that really means together over the next four years barring some miracle I became disillusioned with politics on the 5th of May 2011 when the referendum on alternative vote decided that no you shouldn't be allowed to have a preference on who you would want to win if the party you actually liked of them have enough votes which effectively dooms the British left to dividing their vote 18 ways whereas the right are very good at falling in line and only really hammered their vote like three ways labour the Lib Dems the SNP plied Kamri the Green Party cumulatively people in Britain favor left-wing ideas that's almost objectively a fact but the vote is split so many ways along often quite similar policies that the people don't get to have their vision realized because the right-wing parties always get more votes collectively because there's less of them the cynical old me would probably say that maybe we've already lost the battle for the soul of our electoral system in my brexit video I talked about how there's this almost inherent flaw even at the best of times in representative democracy where you're always the risk of generating a political elite to do the thinking for everyone else because they're the representatives thus making people collectively stupider and worse at making these decisions but in retrospect I was wrong I think the real problem is that maybe even when we know what we want we lack the ability to properly express within our political system the thing that we want and get it maybe the next election is the one where things actually get better and the next five years are a chance to prepare and regroup and really think about what our strategy should be and that could be a so [Music] hello what you're kidding that's impossible what back after all this time they're back I thought they lied I thought it was a story but after these years after all these long years but money birds have finally home [Music] [Applause] hey folks the last video got taken down with copyright stuff and have to re-edit it a little bit and then when I put it back up I messed up the credits like half the names were missing so I've decided to put them here all the names that I missed that here now I'm really sorry it happened but by the time I noticed the problem I was not going to re-edit the video for a third time like a hundred thousand people had already seen it so thank you to all these people having patient waiting for them to company credits thank you very much for helping fund whatever the hell it is that I'm doing here I'm really out of breath a bit shouting about the money laughs I get our together take right it'd probably look terrible too anyway see ya

Channel: hbomberguy

Views: 663,123

Rating: 4.8514881 out of 5

Keywords: hbomb, hbomberguy, election

Id: dVbC0jASJYA

Length: 28min 0sec (1680 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 08 2017