♪♪♪
>>> THIS IS "ELECTION NIGHT IN AMERICA."
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE AFTER ALL THIS IT'S GOING TO FINALLY BE
OVER. >> I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE.
TRUMP'S ALREADY GOT LAWYERS TO FIGHT THE RESULTS.
>> YEAH, DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT OR I WILL LEAVE.
>> GUYS. WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR FIRST
WOMAN PRESIDENT. LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE A
HISTORIC NIGHT. >> YEAH, YEAH.
IT MIGHT AN HISTORIC NIGHT. BUT DON'T FORGET IT'S A BIG
COUNTRY. >> MY FRIEND AT "THE HUFFINGTON
POST" SAYS SHE WIN BUSY 5 POINTS.
>> I DON'T KNOW, MY FRIEND AT SLATE SAYS SHE'LL WIN BY 3.
>> OH, WELL, SHE'LL WIN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE FOR SURE BUT I
GUESS THERE'S A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO WHERE HE WINS THE
POPULAR VOTE. >> REALLY?
THAT'S YOUR NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> BECAUSE OF SHIFTING
DEMOGRAPHICS THERE MIGHT NEVER BE ANOTHER REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT
IN THIS COUNTRY. >> WORD.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU EVER BEEN AROUND THIS
COUNTRY BEFORE? >> AND WE PROJECT KENTUCKY WILL
GO TO DONALD TRUMP. >> WELL, OF COURSE HE WON
KENTUCKY, THAT'S WHERE ALL THE RACISTS ARE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL OF THEM ARE IN KENTUCKY?
>> OH, SHE'S GOT VERMONT. >> OH, SNAP, VERMONT!
THREE ELECTORAL VOTES! THAT'S A POWER GRAB.
>> OKAY. THIS SAYS FLORIDA IS TOO CLOSE
TO CALL. >> OKAY, NO, IT SAYS TOO EARLY
TO CALL. THERE'S ONLY 1% IN.
>> I'M JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD AND CALL IT.
FLORIDA'S GOING BLUE. TO LATINOS!
>> TO LATINOS! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO WIN OHIO, WE KNEW THAT.
IF WE CAN GET PENNSYLVANIA, FLORIDA, AND NORTH CAROLINA, WE
DON'T EVEN NEED OHIO. >> YEAH.
IF THE INDIANS SCORED FOUR MORE RUNS, THEY'D HAVE WON THE WORLD
SERIES TOO, DUDE. >> I'M GOING TO GRAB A XANAX
FROM THE BEDROOM. >> OKAY, GRAB ME SIX.
>> YEAH, I'LL BRING THE WHOLE BOTTLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOK.
EARLY RETURNS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE REPUBLICAN.
BECAUSE REPUBLICANS GO TO SLEEP EARLY.
IT'S JUST A FACT. >> I TALKED TO MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
AT CBS. HE SAYS TRUMP'S GOING TO WIN
FLORIDA. >> WELL.
I GUESS LATINOS DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT YOUR TOAST.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, GUYS, WHAT DID I MISS?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> LARRY, TRUMP MIGHT ACTUALLY
WIN. >> HA HA HA!
I MEAN, OF COURSE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> I TRIED TO TELL THEM THAT. >> WHAT IS HAPPENING?
WHY ARE WOMEN EVEN VOTING FOR HIM?
>> YEAH, I DON'T GET YOU LADIES. I MEAN, THE COUNTRY'S 55% WOMEN.
I MEAN, IF THE COUNTRY WAS 55% BLACK?
WELL, WE'D HAVE TONS OF BLACK PRESIDENTS.
FLAVOR FLAV WOULD BE PRESIDENT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY. ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS COME BACK
AND WIN WISCONSIN, COME BACK AND WIN MICHIGAN, COME BACK AND WIN
PENNSYLVANIA. >> SOME OF THE COUNTIES, THE
URBAN COUNTIES, THEY'RE SO -- BLACK PEOPLE VOTE LATE!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, LET'S HOPE THERE'S
100,000 OF US IN GREEN BAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
THOSE BROTHERS LOVE THE PACKERS. >> YOU NEVER KNOW, GUYS.
ALASKA'S STILL OUT THERE. >> WE'RE NOW CALLING ALASKA FOR
DONALD TRUMP. >> OH MY GOD.
I THINK AMERICA IS RACIST. >> OH MY GOD!
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER MY GREAT
GRANDFATHER TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
BUT HE WAS LIKE A SLAVE OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW.
>> I -- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHY AREN'T PEOPLE TURNING OUT
FOR HILLARY THE WAY THEY DID FOR BARACK OBAMA?
>> I MEAN, MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE REPLACING A CHARISMATIC
40-YEAR-OLD BLACK GUY WITH A 70-YEAR-OLD WHITE WOMAN.
THAT'S LIKE THE KNICKS REPLACING PATRICK EWING WITH NEIL PATRICK
HARRIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES. >> YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT.
IT WAS A HISTORIC NIGHT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
EIGHT YEARS ARE GOING TO FLY BY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY, IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WHITE.
>> BUT WHAT ABOUT UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS?
>> THEY'RE NOT GOING NOWHERE, COME ON.
YOU ACT LIKE EVERYBODY TRYING TO PICK THEIR OWN STRAWBERRIES.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> THIS IS, THIS IS CRAZY.
I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A WOMAN IN THIS
COUNTRY WHERE YOU CAN'T GET AHEAD NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO?
>> OH, GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW. I'LL PUT MY THINKING CAP ON FOR
THAT ONE AND GET BACK TO YOU. >> NO, COME ON, YOU GUYS.
GET SOME REST. YOU GOT A BIG DAY OF MOPING AND
WRITING ON FACEBOOK TOMORROW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS IS THE MOST SHAMEFUL THING AMERICA HAS EVER DONE.
>> HA HA HA! >> HA HA HA!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
cecily strong <3
I was honestly dying at this shit. Everyone is acting all surprised he won and black people are just sitting there like "Well yea that was pretty easy to see coming."
Pretty accurate for lots of millennials who grew up with the Obama administration in office and tolerance being the status quo
Also, the Walking dead skit was funny as shit NOTE: WALKING DEAD SPOILERS
Also, SNL Dave Chapelle standup was funny and very moving.
MRW I saw Dave Chapelle on SNL
I was shocked they let him say nigga uncensored
This was kind of boring tbh.
Chapelle and Rock carried that bit so hard I'm surprised their backs didn't break.
Dave Chappelle on SNL last night was probably one of the only good things 2016 has to offer.
Not from SNL but one of my favorite Dave Chapelle moments