Effective Communication between Husbands and Wives

we are here in the studio with dr. Kevin Leman who is a relationship expert he's written almost 50 books on the subject we are thrilled to have you here thank you we need you we are married to each other to other people and we need help on communicating with our spouses and we've been told that you can give us some tips well the average marriage lasts seven years and then you're done stick a fork and you're done so we could all use help but you have to understand is that women are weird no I don't have to understand that I know that and men are strange and I know that to someone and someone once said the two shall become one which is one of the funniest statements have ever heard of my life well yes I think it's a long time ago but here's the deal a woman we use three and a half times the number of words in a given day that her husband will now you want takeaway for every woman listening to us stop asking your husband questions we hate questions and put away the why word because the why word is a killer your husband will be like a frightened turtle and he'll pull his appendages back in and he'll shut down don't ask your husband why don't don't ask questions and definitely don't ask why right you want to tonight I got a funny question for you why is that well most of us as men function and arms-length relationships women on the other hand will hug anything that moves I mean I'll watch women where they don't think women that you're talking about yeah they do though they hug each other and they kiss each other and they miss okay and then they go into all I love your hair and I mean I study these things I just think it's so funny because most of us as men you know we do our nails okay we do our nails but we do it a red light with our front teeth okay when I go to my friend's house I don't bring them a little gift with potpourri okay okay you don't bring a candle no and I don't share my food with anybody it's my food if you want your husband to talk to you if you want him to pay attention to you talk one woman said hey Lehman I tried that the next thing I know it's like the ceiling those things happen Bon Appetit but this goes back to the differences we're gonna edit that out this is a family show this is the differences that exist between who men are and who women are years ago we stumbled across this whole notion of social equality well our men and women of equal social value I'm here to tell you they are but are they the same no no we're feverishly different so if a woman wants to engage your husband Eric honey would you do me a big favor I really need your help now men love to solve problems men love to give their opinions most of the time when a woman a woman brings a problem to her husband you're her stupid husband does he tells her what to do most women don't want a husband who tells them what to do so what do women want if I'm coming to my husband with a problem what do I want him to let me again want him to listen yes don't listen and I understand maybe it's just a minor victory of getting the 18-month old to stop drinking out of the toilet or whatever I mean women want to know that this man has my back finish this sentence you're in good hands with Allstate Allstate that's been around since I was a little kid but that's how women want to feel that this husband has my back he understands what it's like to be around little ankle-biter children all day long you know I call women velcro women because everybody wants a piece of them yes and so to be a couple today and again sandy and I have five kids I call her mrs. uppington because she's the first one hopefully I hope sandy is your wife by the way oh yeah okay 46 years in a row Wow in a row in chronological order every year that's impressive so is there an effective way to communicating with your spouse meeting for you yes don't talk in volumes volumes your husband asked you what time it is tell them what time it is five o'clock you don't tell him how Big Ben was made manufactured distributed throughout the US Canada and the Virgin Islands and that's what you women tonight okay you talk too much yeah you women know but actually seriously this is so far okay you you know you're the expert uh I don't really agree with you but okay okay but now let's follow up on this I'm gonna moderate this spousal I agree disagreement bring it on good no no cameras rolling three minutes no I just okay so we shouldn't ask why right so I'm interested to know what should the men not ask the white whale before we go there yes I think what you want me to say is honey tell me more about that that's my suggestion so when your husband says something that piques your interest tell me more about that now this is interesting cuz that's a command in the English language tell me more about that you understood but that doesn't put the ears back in the defenses up yes or if you say why did you say that it's well you have okay I know why this is because I'm friends with another relationship expert Emerson egg rich in his book he says it's all about for men it's a respect issue so when you ask why it feels confrontational like why like you are asking them why you did that and you're basically saying to them what you have to defend yourself and men right away they get their back up yeah and so that's exactly correct so let me put that respect improper perspective what men want to know is that they're needed and wanted by you if your husband feels like he's needed and wanted by you and the kids are not number one in terms of people on this earth that husband is number one he'll it'll knock down a wall for you we men why don't we use our wives gold I want to watch this interview over and over again I've been married 46 years right yeah but you slow down you slow down physically emotionally sexually I mean we're down to four or five times a week now but I've dealt with that as best I can and my wife would tell you that her leemy still writes her little love notes sometimes with a big heart on the mirror where she gets dressed in the morning it's just a little something that says I you're still my plaid princess you know what it doesn't get better than that with five kids we had a baby at 42 a little surprised and then we had the Shocker at 48 so you know we've done all those things and rearing kids and yet we've still stayed married committed to each other and in love with each other and it doesn't get better than that yeah and people say how do you do that Lehman by paying attention to each other taking time and having fun we do a cruise once a year and I tell people you should do a cruise with Louis Palau he's very good yeah we are doing no way yeah can I come in February and I come will you pay for my family to be on this cruise consider it done but unfortunately it's cost me money unfortunately this this interview they're telling us that it's over here's the good news somebody here's the great news if they go to 100 Huntley calm they can watch this over and over there's gold here I'm not joking around there's gold thank you for your expertise thank you for offering us this wisdom marriages are gonna be improved minam Ungh them as a result of these eight minutes thank you to book very much to face music and have a new husband by Friday well worth anybody's reheat music have a new husband by Friday all right we'll leave it there those are available at our eStore 100 Huntley calm stay with us

Channel: 100huntley

Views: 21,750

Rating: 4.7974682 out of 5

Keywords: interview, huntleystreet, apr-04-15, 118, 100huntley, Christian, communication, relationship, marriage, men, women, respect, love, Dr. Kevin Leman

Id: H-jNXCL84sQ

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 04 2015