Dunkey Streams Alan Wake (Day 2)

hey tennis hey lord no no dr penguin this is not the first game ever made this is the first time or second time being seen not first game though there was at least four games before this [Music] whoa whoa who's saying alan wake us straight trash whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa is this a comedy game it's part comedy part horror part shooter and part flashlight type game it's like twin peaks stephen king flashlight max payne like like a sleeping game but he's awake thank you one two three thank you mumpy he's like awake he wakes up but he has to be he's he feels like he's still in a dream thank you easy all right that started out you're my best friend and i'm worried that you're not right in the head the ransom is the manuscript i supposedly wrote that's tell me true before my eyes it happened just the way it was on that page so dark i have found only a few scattered pages i want the entire manuscript the deadline i don't know she's resourceful i told you you were too hard on her listen i found out all sorts of interesting stuff while i was digging around yeah mr wake it's sheriff breaker we have an fbi agent here agent nightingale fbi he's anxious to see you you'd better come to the station okay i'll be right over sheriff yeah the whole game might be inside of a fish's dream that's also a good theory name's randolph i'm the manager we're looking for rose works as a waitress down at the diner rose sure nice girl who wants to know i'm ellen wake the writer huh i heard on the radio you were visiting well i'll show you her trailer that rose she's a nice girl always pays her rent on time as i was saying al i found all sorts of weird stuff from the local newspapers archives this place is crazy disappearances mysterious deaths urban legends come true and get this most of this stuff takes place around cauldron lake well you ain't wrong mister the indians thought the lake was a doorway to the underworld i'm the god-fearing type myself i i don't hold with that sort of thing yeah okay anyway there was an island there anyway yes thomas zane articles i found about him make him out to be a famous writer when i ran a bunch of searches couldn't find a single thing he wrote thomas james he was heavily into diving so much so that the place came to be called divers isle but the volcano under the lake erupted in 1970 and zayn went down with the island oh thomas johnson allen wakers thomas zane he's alan zane how about that it was there in the morning as if it had fallen from the sky but it would take a tornado a little of something like that we're damn lucky it didn't crush any of the trailers alan wake spelled backwards as thomas zane right somebody tried it this guy is really slow it gets better a local girl barbara jagger drowned in cauldron lake just a week earlier they were lovers sure jagger's a local spook store the scratching hag comes for you in the dark childish stuff like that anyway al i'm just getting to the best part anyway cynthia weaver i asked around and she's that crazy bad lady you met what the lamp lady she can be a little loopy but she's not homeless they call her lamp lady she knew both jagger and zayn before they both died and she had some kind of a breakdown why did we have to go to the garbage for you to scare a bird away why was it important to scare the bird away from the garbage i'm [ __ ] this guy oh dear mr wake i'm i'm so glad you're here rose you have my manuscript this is a really bad actor for this character thank you big dumb thank you oh yes yes please come in hey this is really good rose yes my manuscript i really need it i understand i know what you need amused to inspire you oh for barry she doesn't have anything yeah uh hey al oh what's oh oh no not barry oh no it's coming for you hiding in my barber's skin i'm too weak to stop it you must turn the lights on i promised i'd come visit you and your lovely wife you must finish what you started i am shushed you must turn the lights on he's hiding in his barber's skin i felt nauseous hungover only anger kept me going during my tv show i can't tell reality from dream anymore but it seems i have an imaginary editor to help me she's an old woman in a funeral dress i call her barbara jagger she's very strict i'm running faster and faster my manuscript is being heavily revised the edits are getting very aggressive and each day there's less of me and more of her i hate it but i know she's right she promises me i can save alice this way she knows more of this than i do about the complex incantation i'm attempting about this place she's worked with another writer under similar circumstances thomas zane the genre of the story seems to be shifting it's turning into a horror story i'm getting close i can feel it yeah it's like horror meet you like flashlight thank you susan thank you so much susan oh look alan wake whoa this is the biggest alan wake fan whoa oh she has every ellen wake book oh dang rose took a day for me i had less than 12 hours left to meet the kidnapper all i could do was get barry into the car work something out once i got on the road barry was out of it he was way too heavy to carry you're right i deserve more money i'm so handsome all right my gun and flashlight were gone i'd have to find a way to get barry into the cars got a pitch wake wake in this in the black lodge rudolph calls the police alan wake wakes up in the black lives thomas oh [ __ ] thomas zine in love with barbara jagger wait time is jane in love wait to touch by the dark presence wow i'm missing a lot of these pigs there's no time to waste go go jump yeah there you go no this is not alan fake this is real this is the real one this is the real thing now look at this this says windshield clean i think only on xbox so you're gonna get that god knows what you've done to that poor girl this is agent nightingale fbi get him up hemingway you're under arrest right now goddamn face stay right where you are whoa whoa they're shooting alan lake oh [ __ ] helen wake is under arrest now i'm standing right here you god damn maniac oh my god but there was no way i'd miss my appointment with the kidnapper go go go helen wake is now a wanted killer and he's sleeping and dreaming and evil shadow realm and he's in the black lives and he's writing a manuscript that shifts reality and he's in a shadow reality and also more stuff but i forgot now go go go and then wait go you're so slow go go [Music] he controls his dreams damn alan white can control dreams oh [ __ ] ah go ahead and we go no these are really good cops these are really they're really good at catching in the lake it's just that he's so fast they can't keep up even in cars i feel almost like i'm playing a sonic game at times oh it's a page it's a page it's a page from my new book sarah distrust nightingale uh i shall let's read rudolph calls the police mr randolph like rose that little smile she had how she was still sweet when life had tried so hard to make her bitter it wasn't any of this business what she did in her trailer but those strangers the writer and his smart ass sidekick looked like trouble and they'd been in there for hours way past her normal bedtime he reached for the phone and called the sheriff's station okay okay thank you oh some [ __ ] ass drivers oh i see a machine quick wake climb the mountain the allen stakes are high wait wait no don't go down there wait do you go down there no no you don't come down there oh [ __ ] the caps are getting eaten the shadow the shadow presence is eating all the cops go away go this horror was everywhere i went circling me the cops didn't stand a chance they were after a writer not a monster oh my god who could have did this did they just say allen wake through the car up there all the cars are being thrown they're being thrown the thousands of feet into the air it's wake it's probably wake behind it all it's that [ __ ] allen wake at it again oh [ __ ] ellen wait throw that helicopter you on the ground hold it right there nope you can't get me i'm so fast i'm faster than a helicopter oh [ __ ] the birds the birds oh [ __ ] huh what what what happened the birds didn't even touch it he's going down oh did the bird shoot him with a gun i did that wake just killed our helicopter wake ran so fast that he he destroyed the the fabric of uh something wind oh there it goes let's put my radio in mulligan thornton come in over thornton here hey we got both wheeler [Music] uh i don't have anything on that deputy mulligan over me well whatever anyway okay so the fbi is an alcoholic that thinks alan wake is a murderer from a different thing from a completely unrelated distance was part of the local radio station maine seemed like a decent guy perhaps he could give me directions to the coal mine so allen wake has to so basically alan wake has to the kidnapper has his wife who doesn't exist or maybe she does exist clung to the gate the darkness that was after me was trying to stop me i wouldn't get through his without does does and does not exist and is kidnapped or is not real and he has to do a deal [ __ ] where's the power who's gonna win nba today uh probably michael jordan his wife is in a video game that's true the old generator cocked out i'd have to see if i could fix it and try again what it turned off already what is this time to shine kick it kick that [ __ ] there you go good job being awake where's this turn this thing on all right now this is one of the most powerful things what huh why did it break it broke again what the [ __ ] is this stupid thing what is this [ __ ] oh no this is how you die this is how alan lake dies hamlin wake just has faulty light equipment and we'll just die to a shadow man eventually alan tape yeah that would be good if i had alien tape our allen wrench oh here we go with this just punch it man you punch everything else just punch it open hit that [ __ ] i'm not afraid of you gate punch it oh he got punched alan wake is famous for punching everything he sees [Applause] watch this boom pretty cool huh i can control dreams it took me a moment to recognize flashbangs for my situation yeah this is his greatest weapon this is can you get a dream with unlimited candy well you don't have you don't have what's called the wake site that's what allows him to control dreams otherwise you would be able to where do i go where do i go run run in and wake go oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] don't piss me off i have flashbangs yeah [ __ ] i'll kill them oh the evil man the evil man go alan wait go oh how am i going to beat these guys dead [ __ ] this guy's not dead go go go go go go go go go you did the flash spring is so powerful hey hey i don't know you can't get me you can't get me ah [ __ ] you just hit him in the face with a flashbang go ellen wait go go go go boom gotcha oh i'm running out of health i'm getting low on health here oh [ __ ] evil man evil man look how bright it is over here you should not have power no no no [ __ ] you you're dead i hope maine could lend me a car to get to the coal mine we're at the radio station i'll go in there and tell them that i haven't seen the dogs hey alan wake here alan wake is in here well thank you very much for that uh compassion hey let me in alan wake oh here's a little surprise the famous writer alan wake just walked in folks it's me alan wake let me in come on in mr wake oh i'm so glad you could find the time to do this mr awake [Music] we got em [Laughter] he just keeps shooting everywhere he doesn't give a [ __ ] who he shoots he just shoots even if it kills me you hear me you hear me hp love crap i had fallen off so many cliffs it was ridiculous that's what you get for naming a book the sudden stop it was probably good i hadn't had the chance to tell maine where i was going i'd have to lose the cops and find my own way to the mine that was a gex type joke who is this crazy ass fbi guy every chapter of the game there's like a whole new mystery there's we're like 30 mysteries deep right now remember when it was like the mystery of where did this house go that was like a classic mystery a lot of people don't even remember that mystery today go go go gotta go to the train depot oh yeah yeah now try to fight me now try to fight boom yeah boom boom maybe alan wake is like wanted by fba how is he so good at shooting he's like he's extremely accurate maybe he is a killer and he punches everything what did it say on the wall something like almond lake is a good game or something i think it was like seeing that with allen white games oh do not kill do not kill boom does this hear me no this one doesn't heal that kind of light does not possess a healing capability this is allen quake he can shoot better than the guy in quake alan wake attacked by a bulldozer wait i think that already happened i think we already saw that part where he was attacked by a bulldozer [ __ ] it i gotta read this the bulldozer's engine roared to life mud and rocks flew as it fought for traction it crashed the concrete wall and landed heavily in the yard if it were an animal it would have shaken its head after the impact fixed its eyes on me and charged of course it had no head nor eyes shadows crawled on its form twisting it into a monster then it came for me hammond wake is one of the best riders i have to say would you right now i'm awake yeah i don't care about that one oh train jump on the train allen train oh it left thank you the most stubborn man i've ever met alice alice alice i'm here i'm so [Applause] oh my god oh my god she would have been terrible but that wasn't the only thing that hadn't been right with the call she sounded wrong somehow but she had called me oh my god alan wake is in a coma alan wake is in a coma wake attacked by a possessed object oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] maybe i should just turn this off a bridge up ahead and a warehouse on the opposite shore i hoped i could find a car from there alan wake he has to wake up because he's in a coma this whole game is about him awaking from a coma oh the door oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] alan wake has to fight a bridge now oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] it's not coming around alan wake is put attacked by possessor object rude ah [ __ ] go hella way go go go go oh [ __ ] damn [ __ ] i did on the opposite shore i hoped i could find a car for me now we're getting to the true enemies of the game those zombies that was child's play that was [ __ ] enemies now we have to fight like barrels and [ __ ] now we're getting to the powerful enemies of the game the darkness that was pursuing me was growing stronger and it was taking over everything oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] okay i have a plan this time flashbang boom ow christ go they have so much light health look at this [ __ ] whoa these this stuff is way more powerful than the zombies get that page get that page this page will be the key to our success as a teenager just started to get interested in writing stephen king had been a source of inspiration to me i thought about all the inanimate objects that had come to life in his books certainly not the protagonist that's what makes them fun this was anything but the darkness could possess anything and it was getting closer stephen king always had possessed objects and i'm like him i got do you guys see i upgraded to the heavy duty flashlight now i think i just got one of the most powerful upgrades in this whole thing every stephen king book has a possessed barrel that's why i always put those in my books [ __ ] ah [ __ ] shoot that game wait does this blow up does this blow up oh it blows up oh this game is starting to get crazy now oh whoa whoa i'm still hosting oh no evil guy ah [ __ ] go ahead go shoot that man shoot that evil man [ __ ] [ __ ] oh [ __ ] get up oh in light you can hurt them i yeah i know that did i get the allen wake battle pass uh yeah i went for it you get three different skins you get a santa skin and you get a black op skin oh let's watch this let's watch this good show here we go self covering the vast cosmos of madness and horror all too often the stars are right in night springs [Music] tonight's episode a family occasion journalist alvin durlis trip to study the local customs of an insular community in knight springs has been less than successful until tonight well i'm glad you changed your minds about this ancient customs local mythology my editor loves this kind of stuff well mr derleth we don't want to feel like we're on exhibition but you have demonstrated the seriousness of your intent don't go into a satanic ritual do your thing i'll stay out of your way and observe actually i thought you could assist us i'm afraid we are a man short it would provide you with an intimate don't do it it's the kiss of death oh my god shhh alvin derlet learned a harsh lesson if you go looking for mythology it may come looking for you and such quests always bear fruit springs yeah he got cooties that's why you should never kiss a girl because you'll get you'll have to birth a thousand beings from other world [ __ ] alan white has to fight a bulldozer bulldozer oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] this is a good matter oh [ __ ] no no no stop this is between me and the bulldozer oh this is a big man can i shoot the bulldozer oh no no no no this is a really good you can't face me you big bulldozer yeah yeah no get outta known bulldozer down oh that's the good throwback to when i found the page the famous uh page alan wake has to fight a bulldozer that was one of his best books you bumbling that was a good throwback to the that was a good homage to the classic fighting game i had never been this glad to see the sunrise i had a couple of hours to get to the coal mine no don't go to a cold man there's no light in there you're dying and weak the coal mine wasn't far now [Music] that was the cut scene the cold man wasn't far now today i would meet the kidnapper and he would give me alice i wouldn't give him any other choice a drowning man will clutch at a straw little by little without realizing it i'd come to believe that the situation was coming true the current of its narrative had taken me deeper and deeper into dark waters but it matched a textbook cases oh i'm dead let's try this i wouldn't meet people try one more time he would give me alice i wouldn't give him any other choice a drowning man will clutch in a straw little by little without realizing it i'd come to believe that the story in the manuscript was coming true the current of its narrative had taken me deeper whoa whoa whoa the whole world taken over by the dark presence was trying to destroy me it all felt real but it matched a textbook case of insanity dang is em awake insane or is he in a coma or is he in a book or something else i forget all the theories last time there was a lot of theories there was a lot of different theories going around let's get a vote going what theory do you guys believe in right now do you believe in coma theory he's in a lake okay like theory coma theory like theory is he actually the criminal criminal theory he's stuck at pizza hut oh the whole the whole time he's stuck at pizza hut and he's just spitballing an idea for a book while he's stuck there that could be one pizza hut theory he's crazy allen is donald duck uh what evidence is there to support that theory whatever what what brought you towards the donald duck theory he is a bulldozer he is the bulldozer oh that's a good theory that's actually a really good theory where am i going i think you go this way maybe maybe you go this way this is all the flashlight stream okay flashlight dream theory i still haven't seen anything to support the donald duck theory thank you the angry pun get up that bridge go up that bridge here we go he is a hallucinating moose so okay new theory thank you sola solar rapture so new theory is that alan wake is actually a hallucinating moose could be real it could be right donald duck in lake theory wait donald duck is in the lake instead of his wife fell in the wake instead of his wife falling into the lake it was actually donald duck is in the lake am i following this dang this is such a deep game this is one of the deepest stories you never know where it's gonna go it could be the donald duck theory me i lean more towards the hallucinating moose because i do watch a lot of these mystery thrillers and hallucinating moose is more of a common it's a more common one than donald duck i've never seen that before alan wake was me all along i am alan wake yeah that could be i could see that yeah he said the mind was close where the [ __ ] is the mine this is not close let's put the radio show back huh and alan wake there's two different shows in the game also there's the twilight zone and then the radio show this is pat mayne and you're listening to kbf fm folks i want to apologize for kind of abandoning you to that looping music track last night but i was detained you see i encountered a big shot g-man with an itchy trigger finger who could use a a lesson in manners and a boot in the ass not oh i know i'm not being very informative here and i apologize for that i really should just keep quiet but i'm just so peeved right now some people just shouldn't be carrying badges i'm just glad that our sheriff breaker was there to straighten things out oh [ __ ] when i met last night is listening let me just say i'm sorry if my mouth got you in trouble i'm pretty sure you're not the bad guy here godspeed son i hope you know what you're doing now that's me he's talking to me he's talking to me talking to dr nelson all morning but first little music dang that cop got called out because he just shoots his gun at everyone and doesn't aim it even at helen wake just shoots wherever he can he's like alan wake you know how alan wake always punches he's like that but he just shoots every time instead i was supposed to meet the kidnapper at noon in the main building allen is the car it was a museum now oh it's not coal mine it's actually a museum okay oh and you have this you have three different you have the radio and the tv show and also this happening all at the same time sarah in the radio station and i want to hear more about thomas zane in love with barbara when thomas zane fell for barbara jagger it happened fast she was young vibrant and beautiful full of life he had never been a very happy man and without any seeming effort she had changed all that zayn felt good for the first time in his life everything she did was another piece of a jigsaw puzzle he hadn't even known he'd been missing and best of all she made the words flow strong and sharp she was this muse the evil shadow lady is thomas zane's wife thomas zane is the ghost of alan wake he says he was him he was him alan zane backwards is thomas wake oh my god oh my god and that's why he's the moose i didn't want to go outside cops had to be looking for me the new sun turned the place into a sauna the day dragged on different scenarios ran through my mind ways of how i tortured the kidnapper to get alice back or the different horrible things he could have done to her i imagined her dead i had no way of knowing she was still alive it was killing me i was running on blind hope it was all a waste of time the bastard never showed up damn punched punched at mine punched the whole man down and awake wait where the hell are you change of plans you know where mirror peak is it's a big mountain north of where you are you follow the path from the mind you can't miss it there's a lookout point there i'll be waiting i'm through being jerked around i want to see your wife alive cause if you do you better watch what you say to me do we understand each other i want to talk to alice yeah now i want the manuscript don't keep me waiting wake hello hello ah i'm gonna kill him punch the whole mill down i had to get to mirror peak i had to get to twin peaks oh [ __ ] it was close maybe closer than ever before i thought i just shot the whole building down jump down the slide we go ahead and let go alice is alan he is his own wife oh my god oh my god he's kidnapped he has to save his own self from being kidnapped wait let me read this page and that's okay i don't want to redo oh shoot that shoot that thing shoot that thing it's not working why isn't the explosive barrel not going off shoot that barrel there you go boom shoot that one shoot that one yeah this will get him man ma'am no don't use jordan oh [ __ ] oh no oh no no the true battle yeah you can't get me behind this thing yeah awful use the same now this game is getting too crazy will i unlock the zazz easter egg in this game uh well i think to get this as easter egg don't you have to clear with all s rank on every level i think you have to finish each level with 20 batteries to get s-rank don't get me out of here get me out of this no no what the hell huh to go through the tornado i had to find a way to avoid electrocution i know how to avoid it to avoid electrocution the tornado was allen weak huh probably defense is in i don't know about that one now united may have gone a little bit now there's now there's starting to be theories where i'm like i don't know fence in a coma wake is electricity wait a minute that one actually could work that could actually work because why why are the light bulbs right and how come all the batteries and tv show and radio think about it i guess the manuscript doesn't really play into that theory but the other stuff does yeah maybe he is electricity get this [ __ ] out of here no do not throw that at me go go alan wait go go god how far can it go it can go pretty far oh [ __ ] god there's so many enemies [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] ah [ __ ] what's hitting me go go go go go go they can't get up here no way can they get up here yeah yeah run away run away i am alan wake oh [ __ ] this thing is getting over here remember i have the power to control dreams give me one second give me one second here okay where'd the big guy go oh here's somebody goodbye damn awake is bad ass he's electricity and he lives inside of a horse's dream oh [ __ ] no no shoot that one boom oh my god he's powerful almond week has a lot of power don't skip the next cut scene it explains everything oh what you guys it's the morpheus chair alan wake is in the matrix wait wait wait alan wake tricks wait he's like neo but he's inside of a horse's dream uh moose is inside of a moose's dream it's like moose tricks but alan wake yeah yeah i think we're starting to piece it together that's why he had to fight a bulldozer there was no way the flashbang grenades were standard power company equipment did helen mike just said the flashbangs were not power companies standard equipment that one just went i wasn't prepared for that one get him come on face me face almond wake who the [ __ ] who threw x oh there's a lot of guys is a lot of guys why is his name alan wake don't don't you ever asked it don't you ever ask that that is a seven hour deep dive don't don't you ever ask that question now we're going to read a page from uh wakingberry in the cell i stared through the bars of the jail cell barry stood behind me swaying on his feet looking as ill as i felt agent nightingale stood on the other side of the bars with sheriff breaker nightingale had a stack of manuscript pages in his hand he seemed unhinged as he gloated well i've got you now raymond chandler it's all here all the evidence including conspiracy to murder a federal agent dang and that's why they call him alan wake oh the haunted man oh what the [ __ ] they put this stuff in here to trick me catch you're dead you're all dead this guy this guy dead [ __ ] no no is alan wake sora from kingdom hearts um well that would work with the donald duck theory but a lot of a lot of fans are not liking donald duck theory that is a very lowly rated theory right now a lot of people don't believe in that theory right now i had no real plan i was going to give the kidnapper all the manuscript pages i had for alice if that wasn't enough i'd hold him at gunpoint and make him talk yeah shoot him alan wake oh i'm upgrading upgrading shotgun oh oh thank you very cute oh come on no almond like is not morbius no no no no no these theories know some of these theories no you guys there has to be it has to make sense you can't just throw theories out there without any logic i mean moose moosa's dream theory okay that held up coma and the wake is in coma that holds up that makes sense he's a moose that makes sense but some of these theories no you go too far some people are trying to mold alan wake into their own store it's like alan wake says in the game the story is a beast of its own it wants things of its own you can't just shoehorn any stuff you know astoria has to breathe it has to live organic this is one of the great lessons to learn from alan wake and whenever you write a story everything should come to life and it should all get thrown at the guy because that's how stephen king does it every time and it's all a horse's dream turn this [ __ ] on didn't you guys ever wonder why only the only thing that restores health is corn it's because it's a horse's dream oh come on come on face you're dead you're out of the dream you're out of the dream whenever you shoot someone they wake up from the dream beside the horse there's a body there's a body there's a pile of bodies a pile of people waking up next to a horse like a hundred people they all just had the same dream the dark presence was moving ahead of me in the same direction i was going a cold feeling settled itself in the pit of my stomach was it going for alice this is one of the greatest stories ever told the graveyard shift may cause cancer the graveyard shift may cause cancer why awaken next to a horse alan wake is a 90s grunge rock artist looking for the band alice in chains the place was dead a ghost town had been for decades maybe a century oh [ __ ] not car oh no oh no get that page get that page the [ __ ] does the page say anything about alan wake has to fight a car no i'm not seeing that oh my god oh my god you cannot give me you cannot get me i know it's all a horse you have no power originally founded in 1928 the great peak gorge mining town was one of the permanent settlements the bright falls mining company built for its workers the nearby graveyard is a testament to the dangers the miners faced on a daily basis most of the men who lost their lives over the years here were buried there a grim reminder to be careful for those who remained great pete gorge was abandoned almost overnight when the bright falls mining company closed its doors in 1970 that's some [ __ ] a horse would think up this theory is checking out whoa okay go go oh [ __ ] alan wake has to fight a train holy [ __ ] that took my whole health tomorrow oh go go in don't go in jesus that does so much damage go go go come on alan wake how is he gonna fight a train like a bulldozer okay you can beat a bulldozer but how is he gonna be the train eat the coffee eat the coffee what does that do it has so much health burn it burn it oh [ __ ] oh god come on come on boom okay now can i go in here there you go oh my show's back outside of riding is a struggle i feel ill i managed to make my way downstairs there's a shoebox filled with books and papers by thomas zane it's very hard to focus but i managed to read some of it he's a poet and a good one he writes of muses and creators summoning fabulous things from a magic lake using his powers to shape the world of a realm of gods and dreams and demons dark things that wait for a chance to slip through wearing the flesh of men as disguise zane writes about himself his girlfriend being taken over by a dark presence about growing scared of lake zane believes it's a mirror to the gaping void of darkness above where some lovecraftian presence lurks i crawled back upstairs i'll borrow these things from my story they ring true they fit yeah that all that off checks out yeah that's all just like that's all that's all sounds right horse theory yeah moose theory yeah down duck is hunting rifle better i'm switching the hunting rifle now i guess why'd it do that why did alan wake do that you have to fight a tree no no this is this is rated t this is not rated m the kidnapper had sent me a text the message was full of spelling errors and insults he was telling me to hurry up he could not write or read good like me the kidnappers books were very bad they had very dumb storylines birds these [ __ ] birds take this yeah yeah take this now alan wake has to fight his biggest fear oh oh birds birds bridge grass three birds three birds go the [ __ ] just hit go go go this is the mine where they discovered bane from batman tunnels go to cauldron lake i hear his wife his wife is in the mine without warning the headache stabbed at my brain alan wake is in the control game oh hunters taken yeah that is not his best work everybody put your what's your favorite alan wake book everybody type your family your favorite adam wake book into the chat for me mine is the the return of pete revenge of pete silence of the clams that's a good one that is a good one alan wake versus jim sleep that's a good one that was one of his earlier works alan wake alan wake by alan wake that was i believe that was i think that was in his earlier his earlier period nightingale in the majestic and i don't read them what i have to fight rocks now who is this what is this guys what is this guys go ahead and wait go get out of here get out of this dumbass man go go go go i'm too fast the two things you have to know about in the wake is that he's the fastest my way up this mine shaft in order to go on maybe the machinery could help me with that i'm gonna make his first he's the fastest man that lives also he punches everything that's what makes him so famous do you think ceos in hollywood are brave enough to try an allen wake movie no it could never be done it could never be done because in the movie there would have to be a tv show and a book and a radio show all happening simultaneously within the movie and it could never be done there's not a director left who would be able to do a tv show and the wake tv show no it could never be done it could never actually be done they would never be able to make the train the part where the bulldozer hits them they would never actually be able to get that part right i think they actually did try to do uh adaptation of alan wake but once it came to the bulldozer fight scene things fell apart they realized it would it could never be done properly a radio show now that could actually work they connect oh oh that was wrong yeah they should they should do an allen wake radio show not a podcast mind you it should be broadcast on actual radio frequency but even then i don't know if they would be able to get the bulldozer right all right now i gotta go down here now i gotta say this no oh don't don't die helen wake is a fake no no no that's not right choose your own adventure book i think that's the best i think that's the best option i've seen alan wake choose your own adventure book that could actually work you could choose what you could choose your own theory you could go down the moosa's dream route if he was so pleased you have to read it in the light not these [ __ ] birds again quick start it started alan wait birds are afraid of this oh this this is classic for uh every game in xbox 360 had a part where you're in a cable car i think resident evil 4 came out with this idea and then every game had this no not my cable car no no i'll [ __ ] i'll put this down yeah yeah yeah put another one down wait did it just fall off okay it fell off every game on xbox 360 had this part but they also had like a turret section every shooting game had like constant turret sections turret sections were really really bad oh you wish alan wake had turret sections oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] [ __ ] the only thing this game really needs is needs more uh more enemies more enemy types for like the humans that's a pretty decent variety though and it probably it needs more creative like scenarios where you fight people every fight in this game is just like evil guys are out in the open area you don't really use the environment that much except for like when you're fighting a [ __ ] like a wheel and a barrel and you just hide behind stuff boom shoot them off shoot them all wait that guy shoot that game this guy shoot him in the head random falling train is a good enemy yeah that's a good enemy this game does have good enemies like barrel and a train and bulldozer bulldozer was a good enemy i got it it's just the human enemies are kind of lame it's just the same axe guy every time they should have made more of those type of guys the eighth cauldron lake now if i'm right cauldron lake is a it's a it's a course from diddy kong racing the eighth deepest lake in the world cauldron lake is a caldera lake formed in a volcanic crater the volcano itself could be considered to be active but it has not erupted since the volcanic earthquakes of 1970 and even then the underground activity was comparable comparably mild despite some property damage there were no casualties no that's not true that's not true this is fake this is fake thomas zane fell in there this is fake thomas jane fell in the volcano cauldron lake is one of the most beautiful spots in the area as well as a central figure in many local folk tales they're trying to erase thomas zane's history can we get a story recap but see this what's great about this game is it actually recaps in game it actually has in-game recaps that tell you nothing but it's really cool this is the first game to do in game recap and this is the first game to act like it's a funny tv show this predates metal gear solid five i feel like there was another game that tried to pretend to be a funny tv show too i know the game they made after this they actually put an actual tv show hasn't there been other games to try and do that though act like it's a tv show alone in the dark did it first oh i never played that the old alone in the dark or the xbox one venture joe beautiful joe beautiful joe is inside of a movie i think family guy game yeah i don't think that counts i don't think family guy counts yeah left 4 dead they were like in movie posters does alone in the dark do it as funny as alan wake though alan wake is the one to do with the funniest then i'll say second place metal gear five is funny at the start of every mission in metal gear five it says written by hideo kojima it tells you who wrote like the very who wrote the mission each mission i miss you time thomas zane cw and thomas zane wait what who's cw what carlos wake is it carlos wake cauldron cauldron wake you talk to me on tv what did you write this time time time time time time time time i curse you thomas zane oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] he just got cursed there's a whole storyline right in this basement that basement had a better storyline than some games all right we're going back in the basement you can't get to me i have the heavy duty flashlight and triple a's shoot his lights oh shoot this guy's head off oh [ __ ] jeez that's my whole health bar that's my whole health bar going i'm sure i'm bringing out the big oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] time to wake up damn awake is so cool how wasted do you have to be to play alan lake now none at all it's one of the greatest masterpieces of all time listen a lot of people who hate alan wake don't know about all the different theories like most theory donald duck theory they don't get this game is too deep it's going to be too deep for the most part i thought i could make out the spot where the island and the cabin had been there was a light near it it had to be a boat they don't get lake theory they don't get that type of stuff i had to get there fast i dreaded what i would find wake wakes up oh [ __ ] wake wakes up oh [ __ ] you guys wake wakes up oh i tried to hold on to alice but her form melted away i was losing control dr hartman stood in her place i wanted to hit him but my arms were jelly he smiled it was a reassuring smile and i hated him for it i had to give you a sedative don't fight it you went through another rough period right now it's very important that you stay calm we don't want you to have another episode you're a patient at my clinic i've been for a while now oh [ __ ] alan wake is in a coma and he's is a patient at a mental clinic and my god and he's made out of jello oh my god oh my god it's starting to come together hey i'm here i'm coming no get away sorry please the boss didn't know who he was messing with i i didn't know i swear i didn't know we don't happen we don't know where she is she's probably proud we just said we had her to make a play ball where's my wife where's my enemy huh [Applause] helen lake the [ __ ] was it all right well that was it that was alan wake uh thanks for watching everybody i was born inside a horse all right i'm going goodbye everybody horse theory that's the one

Channel: WaLter .NO

Views: 29,935

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Id: efxJqDWwUOY

Length: 104min 32sec (6272 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 25 2022