>> BIG DAY, COMPANY C!
>> COLONEL LARSON IS ON BASE FOR INSPECTIONS.
SO YOU MAGGOTS BETTER LOOK ALIVE.
THAT INCLUDES YOU, LARSON. YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOUR DAD
IS A COLONEL, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH A BED CORNER LIKE THAT?
>> NO DRILL SERGEANT! >> YOU ARE DAMN, RIGHT, LARSON.
NO ONE GETS A FREE PASS HERE. NO MATTER WHO YOUR DADDY IS.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? >> YES, DRILL SERGEANT.
>> ATTENTION. COLONEL LARSON IN THE BUNK.
>> THE INFAMOUS C COMPANY. THERE IS A RUMOR GOING AROUND
THAT YOU ARE THE SORRIEST, LAZIEST GROUP OF RECRUITS ON THE
BASE. AND I STARTED IT.
AND I STARTED THAT RUMOR. GIZMO COURT TIME, HORRENDOUS
TARGET MARK, AND AN ATTITUDE THAT STINKS WORSE THAN THE
OUTHOUSE IN A CHILI COOKOUT. NOT ONE OF YOU IS FIT TO BE A
SOLDIER IN MY ARMY. GOD, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME IN THE
UNIFORM, SON. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
>> DAD, STOP. >> SIR, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE
STATE OF MY RECRUITS. >> NOT YOUR FAULT, SERGEANT!
IT'S THEIRS. THESE SACKS OF DOG CRAP CAME
HERE TO BECOME LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTING MACHINES.
BUT ALL I SEE IS SCARED LITTLE GIRLS.
SCARED LITTLE GIRLS. AND NOT NO ONE, IS A BRAVE MAN.
EXCEPT YOU, YOU'RE MY BRAVE LITTLE MAN.
>> DAD, I BEG YOU TO STOP. >> NOW YOU MAGGOTS DROP AND DO
PUSHUPS UNTIL YOU PUKE BLOOD, YOU HEAR ME?
>> SIR, YES, SIR! >> ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.
>> I DON'T NEED THAT. I DON'T NEED THAT.
PLEASE, DAD. >> SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
>> PLEASE, DAD. >> ON YOUR FEET!
YOU CALL THEM PUSHUPS. WHAT'S WRONG YOU GOT A WAND UP
YOUR ASS, HARRY POTTER? >> SIR, NO, SIR!
>> WHO THE HELL JUST LAUGHED? WELL, WELL, WELL.
A COUPLE OF JOKERS LAUGHING IT UP.
YOU TWO FRIENDS OR SOMETHING? >> SIR, YES, SIR.
>> JOEY MAKING FRIENDS -- >> SIR, YES, SIR.
>> HE'S NOT DOING HIS SHY THING WHERE HE'S QUIET IN BIG GROUPS?
>> SIR, NO, SIR. >> GOOD.
>> HE'S ADJUSTING GREAT. >> THAT'S FANTASTIC.
NOW WHAT'S YOUR TIME ON THE ROPE COURSE, PRINCESS?
>> 2:13. >> PATHETIC!
FOUR EYES WHAT IS YOUR MARKSMANSHIP GRADES?
>> SATISFACTORY SIR! >> PITIFUL!
LARSON, I HEAR YOU HAVE A BIRTH DATE COMING UP.
AND YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR
DINNER! >> SIR, CHEESECAKE FACTORY, SIR!
>> GOOD, GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHO NEEDS MENUS, SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE.
WELL DONE, LARSON. GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
TURNING 21, SON. REMEMBER THAT SONG I USED TO
SING TO YOU DURING BATH TIME? REMEMBER?
♪ DON'T GO PEEPEE IN THE BATHTUB ♪
♪ PEEPEE GOES IN THE ♪ ♪ POTTY ♪
>> SIR, IF HE NEEDS DISCIPLINE, I BELIEVE C COMPANY SHOULD DO
DOUBLE PT AND WILL -- TO IT UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
>> THAT'S A START. I DIDN'T THINK ANY OF THESE SOFT
BODIES COULD BE A REAL SOLDIER LIKE MY FATHER.
HE WAS A REAL SOLDIER. NOTHING ANY OF YOU MAGGOTS HAVE
A PRAYER OF BECOMING. EVEN THOUGH YOU LOOK LIKE HIM IN
THAT UNIFORM. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, SO, C COMPANY. TAKE A LAP AROUND THE BASE
PERIMETER AND THINK ABOUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE HERE.
GO! GO!
GO! >> LARSON, WAIT!
MY COMMANDING OFFICER WANTS TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.
>> REALLY? >> YEAH.
SO LOOK SHARP. ATEN HUT.
>> OH, MY LITTLE BABY LOOKS SO HANDSOME.
>> HEY, MOM. >> AND HE MADE A FRIEND.
>> OKAY, HEY, MR. POPULAR. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪♪♪
Funny how in the video still Baldwin's hair is combed and the collar is up and strapped. I wonder if that shot was from rehearsal.
And by 'I wonder' I mean I'm pretty sure it was. It's kind of nice how someone in the background must have mentioned the collar thing before they did it live. Also nice how they're all wearing the same patch (minus the DS) even though the recruits shouldnt be wearing one. Also the hair thing but I mean bald caps would be a little much for one skit.
Over analyzing a SNL skit...good way to start a week. :/ What am I doing with my life
Video not available in my country?!? I am an American god dammit!
(Stationed in Germany)
I had a Cpl who worked for me when I was a SSgt in the Marines. His dad was a bird colonel. It was a lot like this, but it was less funny and more embarrassing for the guy. We had to hide him a few times when his dad came around checking up on him. Oh, and the Cpl was no weak sister, either. Well liked, squared away, and a wicked sense of humor.
It's been roughly six years since my ETS and the Marne will not let me escape it's embrace.
I watched this. I didn't laugh till the end.
Yep....not funny
Remember the last time SNL was funny? Like in the early nineties?
What
Someone have a video link that doesn't say fuck you Canada?