DOUCHE GETS ALL THE LADIES - Douchebag Life

tired of working hard every single day well yeah I mean this video is going up like four hours later than it should so I mean that should come off as pretty up part of being bored by the women no not really I mean the channel reaches of a large number of women is actually a demographic that I'm in correctly now you have justified enough I've had just about enough you interrupting me I can [Music] what's up guys and welcome to douche bag life again with possibly the best - opening menu music I've ever heard I've been sitting here getting stuff ready for about five minutes now and it has just ingrained itself into my mind I'm gonna be singing this for days now and it's your fault I blame you but it'll be worth it because this is a really cool game I love these little flash games that harken back to like new grounds the stuff that you would see like ten years ago the original flash games there are a lot of fun people always enjoy them on YouTube so I figured why don't we be a douche bag for a day and I thought the music couldn't get any better the ultimate goal you need to become a real douche bag before 14 days to be ready for the beach party okay day one to complete the game you must reach level 6 of douchiness to level up you need to upgrade your mass your look your crib your car stats click here to see your progress to move through the game just click on the door in your crib or click on the car to go any other areas in the game such as go to work workout go shopping or go clubbing so that's how we're gonna increase each of our stats each drive will remove some time so make sure you know where you're going also almost everything in the game costs money so you will need to work to get paid ok so yeah it's like I said it's one of these oh god time is passing what I thought time I only passed when I do stuff I can't talk so we have energy we've met we have look pimped crib tuned car chick scored okay and yeah we got none of that right now we have $50 and we're just kind of skinny I can turn the music off I don't want to turn the music off I like the music can I change my clothes what do we have here we can sleep I don't need that clothing here we go so our tops we can choose from um wife beater or no table I think no top might be a little bit better bottoms jeans are nothing you know what that looks good right right yeah our look went up a little bit it's telling me to go to work you lazy ass okay so we'll do that we'll go outside oh there's more stuff out here I can eat I can go through that door can't watch TV what's in this door oh it's my bedroom I see how it works okay we're gonna get out of here I'm gonna go to work like this I really hope that I'm a stripper a male prostitute and I don't know a professional baby otherwise I'm gonna look really weird I work at 2:00 o'clock I'm wasting time we got to move we need to go to work we need money I Drive like this of course I'm a construction worker okay yeah do you think they're gonna judge me probably whoa whoa okay it's a decent amount of money I guess because I missed a bunch of time cuz I showed up late I Drive like this into hell hopefully my fellow construction workers didn't judge me too much what's in that that's my house okay let's go work out it's five six o'clock good time to work out I have 330 hours we're gonna work up three hours for 60 bucks that's probably gonna cost the rest of my energy it's really weird that time passes by all the time but it's a little bit slower than you would expect when you're sitting here waiting for him to do stuff that is all the mass I got okay I don't condone this but we need steroids or something because that is not fast enough we need to eat a protein pack sure screw it there we go okay second a improve my mass at all I wonder lots of energy how do I pimp my crib do I do that him crib extras no ah status I don't have any statuses okay I'm working on it I'm working on it we're gonna go in here I don't know how to make my plays any better can I do it in clothing no okay we're just gonna go need to sleep actually do I because I have energy now we go back out let's um let's go work out some more where didn't work out all night can't work out all night because they closed at 10 o'clock so what am I supposed to do from 10 o'clock to like 6 a.m. because we can go clubbing I'm dressed for clubbing withdraw more to upgrade your chances to level up okay we'll just blow all 200 bucks I'm gonna go to work tomorrow morning we should be good just make a brain in the club I'm wearing the most expensive tighty whities money can buy that they're made by Kanye trust me they're like 500 bucks so what we're clubbing things are going well it's 2:00 a.m. it's throguh 3:00 a.m. is time to go did we level up how did we do there goes all my damn energy prepare the muscle oh god I'm just jerking it what so did I did I strike out at the club because I'm a dweeb in his underwear goddammit okay it's 11 a.m. I assume that means that I slept probably didn't buy any clothes am i hungry I don't have the money to eat so why would that matter I guess we're gonna go to work we need to go to work at 1:00 let's go work out for a couple hours I don't have the money to work out this is difficult you know what I did strike out last night but I got to work in time the next morning that's what matters most you know I need to nail the board's before I can nail the women that's a perfect idea for my [ __ ] stamp tattoo my protein packs getting bigger okay I'm fine with that so we're gonna eat a giant protein pack lots of energy how do i pimp my crib stop talking nobody asked you oh I probably need to go shopping okay we're gonna go shopping and maybe I can just buy crap for my apartment right does that make any sense a home decor I don't think time is passing women these menus thank God so let's get a TV whoo Oh everything is so freakin expensive I already have that TV don't I okay we'll buy that one 150 bucks decent I need to keep a little bit of money to all by God really I'm gonna need six hundred TVs but make any kind of difference we're gonna get tanned for thirty minutes okay I'm looking a little bit more orange that's good that's high on the douche bag necessity meter our look is going up oh yeah and I can't shop anymore yes I can okay haircut we will get a haircut and we will with some oh yeah the frosted tips are pretty that is maximum douchey right what else if we got going for us there's a lot of really weird haircut to hear some of them aren't even haircuts they're just like random accessories okay we'll go with that nice that only cost $10 look goes way up we need clothing if that's the case tops we did it man okay just just stop talking nobody asked you that's pretty douchey that is kind of feminine looking right um oh there we go that's the one we don't need any bottoms I didn't save any money to work I mean exercise okay we can get a garage steroids yes okay we can't get steroids at some point I don't have any money to go clubbing I don't have any money to go clubbing I don't know what I can do whoa you brought something home what was that I went clubbing with the bare minimum amount of money maybe it's not how much money you spend it's just the experience that's our second time going so the second time we brought a lovely lady home with us by the looks of it okay good good how is my energy looking right now full okay so when you wake up you have energy oh yeah that's the stuff so by the looks of it you need to work every single day to get as much money as possible but that money will never be enough to distribute evenly across everything you need to do you can't buy stuff and go clubbing and go work out in the same day and eat so you need to figure out which one you want to do I went to workout today and let's just bring 60 bucks to the club it's in between the first night and the second night maybe this will go better I would imagine is the fact that I'm wearing a shirt this time the things went better for us right because the first time I went I came home alone and naked but I went there naked so that kind of evens things out so how we doing it's almost 3 o'clock like - coming on everybody's getting ready to go home and I brought home with me a little bit of experience a lot less energy Oh a girl I brought home the same woman what is day 4 know what she's waiting there for me every night let's spend today's money at the mall oh I can go to the garage now it unlocked I was gonna say I don't know how to unlock the garage and the steroids I would imagine the steroids are gonna be what's gonna make my workout go way way faster so maybe I should save the working out for later but I can pimp my car now do you want to upgrade your car yeah 50 bucks and I get ok that's a decent amount can I do any more shopping yeah garage okay yeah I'll upgrade my car again screw it just keep put the spinners on there a spoiler so under lights all of its tinted windows I was going to get to that keep it coming I want that car to look as douchey as possible it's one of the first things that anybody sees for me and why does it say that I've picked up two women when it was the same woman twice should I finish upgrading my car or should I buy pants what would be the douchiest thing that I could do because I need to think like a douche bag I feel like the answer would be buying more stuff for my car right who needs to cover up your junk when you have more souped up like Honda Civic or whatever the hell it is are we doing I need to be more tanned need 30 more minutes a tan please my orange enough yet we're getting there how am i doing my crib is also super pimped out I'll show you guys now in a second we bought a whole bunch of random paintings and it went up as surprising about my car looks so freakin stupid look at all the paintings of naked women around my house oh that's awesome okay so what else should we go do let's go work out quickly right I think the closes at 10 o'clock I still don't have any steroids but we're working on it three hours of workout yeah we'll get our pump on and then go clubbing I guess just blow the rest of the money at the club and start all over the next day that's pretty much what I've been doing I gotta wait 20 minutes for the club to open up so I'm just gonna stand here on the side of the road like this with no pants on in front of my car you know what my douchebag level should be rising ever so slightly as I do this but apparently not okay we're gonna clubbing and I have $40 to bring with me tonight whoo baby I'm just gonna throw loonies and all the ladies they're gonna love it when people ask me where my pants are I could just point them to the side of the road tell them look at my awesome car okay how'd that go all my Energy's gone whoa whoa you brought a girl home okay level three so we need to get to level six I don't know if actually finishing all of my upgrades like to myself matters it looks like I just need to keep going to the club and picking up women and that's was leveling me up really weird okay we can go workout for two hours and we need to go to work then we need to do some other douche-baggy things I don't have any money right energy is gonna take a hit my mass is still garbage I'm so skinny we need steroids right and once again I don't condone this unless you want to be a douche bag in which case be my guest but yeah we need to go shopping and hopefully this steroid store is open today is that how a work moves just it yeah there we go there's probably just a guy in the parking lot waiting for me uh well we can get creatine that's mildly less bad now we want steroids oh it is a guy in the parking lot it's just a burly dude hanging out by the dumpster out back okay we need to go work out if that's the case right no I don't I don't where's the mall coming home with me no go away game uh work out see how much of a difference this makes because I wasn't getting incredible games I've worked out five or six times already workout for 2 hours is day 6 and how is that gonna do for me with them up with my roids with my muzzle juice ok sorry improvements I'm getting there I think one of the worst parts is that once I'm done working out I'm gonna get in my car and then drive home if I want to work out again I need to then drive back to the gym to work out again such a douchey thing to do holy crap look at my dude I haven't even been noticing the sick amount of gains that he's gotten look at his terrible arms legs are not going to coming along we might need to go buy pants let's do that let's go shopping we're gonna buy some pants to cover up those chicken legs that way we don't need to bother with a leg day and we'll be ready for the beach in time at how that works ok we're gonna go to clothing bottoms what are some douchey bottoms that is pretty douchey anything else oh yeah the ripped off short shorts I like it and so do they oh yeah ok that's good and then we are going to get some more tan right 30 minutes Italian please if I'm not as orange as Donald Trump by the end of the day and you haven't done your job right step one is going to be to workout for three hours gobble down so many pills that a pharmacist would have a raging erection and then show up to work an hour late step two is going to be to drop $500 at the club buying random women drinks in the hopes of the like my green wallet more than my orange efface I actually banged a chick with the another dude okay level four out of six complete step three is to pump ourselves with even more steroids to the point where our frail little girl legs can barely support the giant upper douchey mass that we have become and we also needed to buy some more clothes we need to be oranger that's a part of step three thirty more minutes can I get orange err am I wasting my money no such thing everybody look at my giant douchey orange e mass and oh my god you earned a plastic trophy you 506 okay I think we have like two two days left right oh right this is uh is gonna come right down to the wire so I think I'm gonna go shopping first let's go shopping when you put some steroids right up our butt it's with you with steroids right and then we're gonna finish off our workout yeah that's like 300 of our last dollars but we can go to work right 300 bucks they had better work this time are gonna be back for you trust me I'm getting bigger I can take you soon if I could manage to reach you I feel like I'm to the point now where I wouldn't even be able to wipe my own but I get like smaller weepy people to do that for me okay where you're gonna go three hours sixty dollars please has to be enough right has to be enough get me there I'm so freaking glows I'm so buzzed 'le there goes all my energy so much for work I didn't get like an achievement or anything that's it is just screw you let's go home and eat some more a healthy meal because I can't afford a protein pack I can't go to work without energy okay that should be enough energy to go to work so I'm sitting here waiting to go clubbing and the final two days of work have earned me enough money to upgrade my car to its final form and it looks like I'm driving a spaceship but not a cool spaceship do you know I mean it looks more like it should be surrounded by a ball pit at McDonald's and the kind of things that kids would think looks like a really cool spaceship I have no idea but either way I don't think that I actually need to upgrade every single stat it's just the higher the stats get and the more money I put into clubbing the higher chance I have of picking up a woman and if I actually manage a succeeding in clubbing six times then I win the game I hope because there's no way I'm going to be able to like max out everything in the remaining two days I'm putting my last $200 down on this and if it doesn't work I'm not sure how what day 14 is going to go just remember you point them towards the car because it let's be honest actually it's not more impressive than you are neither are very impressive okay as all my money we got for me whoa taste the glory I'm a douche do-do-do-do-do bag you won you became a real douchebag in less than 14 days 13 days to be exact you're now ready for our next game douche bag party or what looks like douche bag workout I think there's also douchebag Beach Club maybe in a way that's gonna be it for douche bag life guys and if you want to see more of these douche bag games or you want to hear me say douche bag a whole bunch more be sure to leave a like on the video leave a comment show some sports because I love these games I know that they're stupid you know that's kind of the point nobody ever sits down to a game called douche bag life and says wow this is a real hidden gem you know 10 out of 10 wise IG and not covered this before it's just simple fun to laugh both at and win I think is worth watching this video I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time [Applause] [Music] [Music]

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 1,178,965

Rating: 4.9082775 out of 5

Keywords: douchebag life, douchebag life game, douchebag life gameplay, douchebag game, douchebag funny moments, douchebag life ending, douchebag life funny moments, funny flash game, pick-up girls game, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: lfioTNXAEgM

Length: 18min 58sec (1138 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 09 2017