Do What You Want To Feel // Ty Gibson

hey everybody welcome to storyline Church online I want to give a special welcome to our regular story liners and if you're visiting with us online for the first time welcome we want you to feel completely at home with us here while you're in your home during this physical distancing time there's no reason why we can't connect spiritually there's no reason why we can't even through this medium connect in a rich and powerful way through God's Word so I want to ask you to get a Bible wherever you are whatever you're doing just pause take a little bit of time with me and let's dive in two very significant principles that I think are going to be a blessing to you they sure have been a blessing to me now you can chime in at any point along the way in the chat and we've got some hosts there that are eager to interact with you so let's just take the time to flesh out these ideas in banter back and forth even in our time together in the chat that you will see on whatever platform you are tracking with us so a few years ago this this guy came to me and I could tell he was pretty heavy and he said man do you have a few minutes I I need to talk to you and it's pretty serious so we went into a room and we sat down and he said he said my marriage is falling apart I mean it's just over my wife has told me repeatedly and she just told me again recently with a lot more passion she said that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore and he said the truth is my feelings for her are pretty much dead too so man it looks like our marriage is over and then he paused and and looked at me as if he were waiting for an answer so I gave him one but it was not the answer he was expecting I said well I don't think your marriage is over in fact I think that if you will do just one thing just one thing not only can you save your marriage but your marriage will flourish and become better than it's ever been before he said not that's impossible we just don't have feelings for one another anymore I said well do you want the secret to save your marriage or not he said oh man go ahead lay it on me what is it what how could you possibly and I said here's what you're going to do read the Song of Solomon in the Bible and do exactly what it says he laughed out loud I expected him to laughed out loud now let me just tell you that this was not a unique experience over the years I have encountered this over and over again I do quite a bit of marriage counseling premarital counseling as well as for couples who have already been married for some time and are struggling to survive of it as a couple but I've seen over and over again that one of the most common things for people to say is that our marriage is over because we don't have feelings for one another anymore I don't feel it therefore it's over now I don't know if you've noticed but our world our culture I don't know the exact source of this particular ideology and I put ideology and quote marks because I'm not sure if it can even be regarded as an ideology it is if you think about it the most idiotic way to live your life imaginable but here's the philosophy here's the ideology if you don't feel it well then don't do it only do what you feel like doing but if you don't feel it don't do it this is a recipe for disaster and this guy was experiencing at it as a recipe for disaster in his marriage she doesn't have feelings I don't have feelings I guess our marriage is over I said what you need to do is you need to take the Word of God in hand you need to see what it has to say about marriage you need to see what it has to say about how a husband is to love his wife how a husband is to treat his wife and your wife I don't know if you could persuade her to take this potential remedy on board but even if she doesn't participate I'm putting it on you do you want to save your marriage or not he said oh I want to save it but I don't see you that there's anything left I said listen if you will read what scripture says regarding marriage and you will begin to apply the principles it is an absolute guarantee that your feelings will begin to catch up with your actions now I want to explore this with you from Scripture because at this point in our discussion the guy says so you mean to tell me that that that I can save my marriage by simply reading some Bible verses and obeying them I said yeah that's exactly what I'm saying he said that sounds like mindless legalism to me I said well it's not mindless legalism it is the most intelligent course that you who are about to get a divorce could pursue right now you have no better plan you're going to follow your feelings straight into divorce like many millions before you have or you can try my method see what scripture says about the conduct of a husband toward a wife and do what scripture says what have you got to lose he said well it just sounds like mindless legalism I want to make one point absolutely clear what this guy was saying and what he was thinking I have to be honest with you on some level of my own heart I agree with as I'm saying these think these things to him I'm thinking this sounds pretty strong this sounds pretty weird why am I saying this is this really what this guy needs to hear but I've learned over the years that obedience to God's Word is not legalism it's the farthest thing from legalism in fact I wouldn't define I would define obedience like this obedience is love fueled trust now think about this for a minute if God is love well then it logically follows that God has our best interest at heart let me let me back up make sure that we catch this if God is love if God is fundamentally good it follows that he only has our best interest at heart and if God only has our best interest at heart and God is infinitely wise certainly he knows a thing or two actually he knows everything about how relationships are to operate to the best outcome so the only way obedience to the Lord could be regarded as mindless legalism is if you begin with a premise that God is your enemy that God doesn't have your best interests at heart that God is self-serving in some sense now if that's the case if that's the case oh I would be the first to tell you don't obey the super intelligent all-knowing God of the universe because he's a monster who doesn't have your best interest at heart but if God loves you and if God only has your best interest at heart why not do what God says now I'm gonna build a case for this and I am perfectly aware that at this point whoever you are for most of you you're probably thinking this sounds really weird this sounds ridiculous is this really how this guy should be doing marriage counseling well this particular man was thinking the same thing when I told him read what scripture says and do it he said wall don't we need marriage counseling I said well you may need marriage counseling and marriage counseling is a good thing and can be a blessing but it sounds to me like you have an emergency on your hands so I'm giving you a shortcut I'm giving you an opportunity to leapfrog straight over the counseling and to get some traction right now before your marriage ends read what scripture says regarding marriage begin applying the principles and see what happens now regarding this obedience idea I want you to look with me at Deuteronomy chapter 5 if you have a Bible just open it to Deuteronomy chapter 5 this is remarkable here's the god of the universe we're operating on the assumption now on the premise that this God is fundamentally good now if you don't believe that God is fundamentally good if you have a picture of God that puts him in the category of a kind of all-powerful and all-wise and all-knowing monster well then you're not going to take too kindly to the way he speaks to you right here but if you begin with the premise that God is good and only has your best interests at heart listen carefully to these words this is Deuteronomy chapter 5 and verse 29 oh that they this is God speaking to Moses regarding the children of Israel oh that they had such a heart in them that they would fear me that is reverence me with awe and always keep all my Commandments now watch this watch this there's a comma there oh that they had a heart in them to reverence me with awe and always keep all my Commandments , watch this that it might go well with them and with their children forever now the word forever here is a poetic mechanism for the idea of generational blessing in other words this text is saying that if you will obey all of my Commandments well then there will be positive outcomes to you in the present tense but those positive outcomes will be residual they will be generational your children your grandchildren will receive the blessing of the application of these principles now in the text God is saying if you'll do what I'm telling you my promise to you is that it will go well with you in the words you will flourish you will thrive you will experience positive outcomes quality of life will increase you will prosper and be successful in what you apply your life to when these principles are at the center of your life now check this out skipping down to verse 32 notice this therefore you shall be careful to do I'm emphasizing the word do you'll see why in a minute you shall be careful to do as the Lord your God has commanded you you shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left so God's principles God's commands are before you just keep your eye on what God has said do what God has be careful to do what God has said notice this and don't turn to the right or to the left and watch this verse 33 you shall walk in all the ways the patterns the habit patterns all the ways which the Lord your God has commanded you that so that in order that there's a cause there's an effect do this and something will follow that you may live that you may live and that you that it may be well with you again like verse 29 repeating the idea that there is a kind of wellness flourishing thriving prosperity that is inherent in God's commands in God's Word now again we need to make clear that what we're talking about here is not mindless legalism this is not a form of slavery any more than let me give you an illustration it's a pretty lame illustration but it'll make the point here's the illustration I want you to imagine something I want you to imagine that you have a friend you have a friend that is twice your size in body mass and has double your IQ he's super smart and he's a super strong and powerful and let's just say that you are in some kind of predicament that is threatening to take your life you're in a building that is under attack by some kind of menacing individuals who are surrounding the building with firearms and they're coming in to get you guys now there you are you're this puny little fellow with an IQ that's nothing really to speak of you're of average intelligence and then you have this massive friend who's twice your size who has double your IQ this guy is smart in the extreme who are you gonna let hatch the plan to get out of the predicament you're surrounded who are you going to follow are you going to follow your own plan or are you gonna follow the plan of your super smart friend who says I know what we ought to do to get out of this predicament here I'm faced with a guy and often faced with people in marriage counseling situations in which they are saying our marriage is falling apart we don't have feelings for any one another anymore and they're wondering what they ought to do now I don't happen to be twice their size and I don't happen to be twice their intelligence but I have a secret weapon I have in my possession a book of principles laws of life that produced wellness when applied to the circumstances of life when those principles are applied to a predicament the predicament is resolved or at least seriously mitigated by the application of those principles the universe is governed by a God who is more than twice our size he is massive in every way imaginable and to say God is a genius or more intelligent than us is an understatement and if you add to God's massive intelligence the fact that God is in trinsic Lee good and only has your best interests at heart why wouldn't you want to know what God says and do it the text of scripture that we read God says I wish they would just do what I'm telling them to do because if they would do what I'm telling them to do they would live they would flourish now I find it interesting that science from my observation over the years is always catching up with Scripture I want to say that again for emphasis because I know it sounds crazy but I want to show you something science is always in the process of catching up with Scripture when it is objective in reporting its findings without any kind of bias to mix up the data but if you just pay attention to the way reality operates the way things are the intrinsic nature of things which science purports to observe over and over again you will discover that what scripture teaches is true and in our best interest so I was not surprised when I came across this Psychology Today article from 2010 with this very provocative title action cree action creates emotion action creates emotion here's the subtitle of the article want to change how you're feeling question mark change what you're doing want to change what you're feeling change what you're doing now the doctor the PhD this super-intelligent scientific mind who is reporting to us is num Spann sir I guess is how you would pronounce his name and this is what he says to conclude all of the science that he has reported to us in the previous paragraphs of the article watch this he says in closing his article the shortest most reliable way to change how you're feeling is to change what you're doing the shortest most reliable way to change how you're feeling is to change what you're doing and then he says this when you feel bad don't wait to feel good don't wait to feel good to do what you love start doing what you love and good feelings will likely follow this is fascinating what the article is essentially saying to us is that feelings follow wherever actions lead we live in a world and a culture that is feelings obsessed so obsessed with our feelings in fact that one couple after another even during this very difficult time of physical distancing when people are spending more time with one another than they have spent with one another in years we're told that divorce rates are skyrocketing and domestic abuse is being reported at a higher rate than any time in recent memory well if we're going to follow our feelings we're going to follow our feelings right out of relationships with people right out of relationships with our wives and husbands right out of relationships with our children out of relationships with our friends what I'm suggesting to you is that actions of love will produce feelings of love if you begin to act in accordance with what you know to be the best course of action sure enough your feelings will begin to catch up with your actions this is the principle that is articulated in Scripture when God comes along these listen what I want you to do is apply my principles as a kind of experiment if you will in life I mean I know you might not trust me you might not feel like doing this but God seems to be saying that our lives can be a kind of experimental laboratory in which we apply his principles to our lives and we watch and see the outcomes this brother came to me about a year after our interaction and he said you're not gonna believe what happened and I'm saying in my mind I think I have a hunch what happened he said I thought it was crazy what you were telling me but I went home and I began reading the Song of Solomon and he said it's pretty mushy it's pretty emotional it's pretty romantic I mean there's a lot of stuff I don't understand in the poetry it's it's beautiful I guess I'm not that kind of guy he said but I knew enough to begin manifesting affection to my wife to begin holding her hand and taking her out on dates again and eating dinner with her rather than quickly scarfing down food at the counter and then taking off I began to look into her eyes I began to listen to her I began to empathize with her feelings and to hear what she had to say and he told me man we have fallen in love all over again not only is our marriage saved our marriage is better than it's ever been and this my friends is what CS Lewis calls one of the great secrets of life one of the great how would you like to learn right now one of the great secrets of life well we've already articulated it but CS Lewis in his own way articulates the secret like this he says don't waste your time bothering with whether you love of your neighbor or not act as if you did as soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets one of the great secrets of life when you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love them isn't that incredible if you begin to act out the principles of love even against your natural inclinations in the moment if you begin to act as if you loved your neighbour Lewis says you will discover that your feelings will catch up with your actions so my appeal to you is a very simple appeal it might sound at first consideration like mindless legalism but I'm not asking you to believe everything that I'm saying to you right now I'm asking you to experiment with it I'm asking you to just give the Lord a try and my challenge to you is simply this trust the God of the universe and to do what he says begin to live out the principles of his word not as a means of gaining God's favor or earning salvation but because you already have God's favor he has already put upon you the blessing of his acceptance if you have come to know that God is good and God loves you why not do what he says why not why not trust the Lord and do what he says and watch your life begin to flourish in ways you never thought possible thanks for taking this time to worship with us online I look forward to connecting with you again next week at the same time hey thanks so much for watching we hope that message was a blessing to you God's Word is powerful it penetrates into our minds into our hearts brings about transformation in every aspect of our lives listen we don't want you to miss any content so again we want to encourage you to click on subscribe and track with the content that's going to be coming out week after week and if you'd like to partner with us in this global Ministry of taking the gospel of Christ to the whole world we want to invite you to become a partner in this ministry click give and join with us

Channel: Storyline Church

Views: 3,654

Rating: 4.9718308 out of 5

Keywords: storyline church, ty gibson, feelings

Id: 0abHKL0817g

Length: 25min 17sec (1517 seconds)

Published: Sat May 02 2020