Dick Gregory: Race, Comedy, & Justice

that's your job welcome back thank you always what a pleasure you and first thank you this type of weather y'all got nerve enough to be inside yeah well they came for you and they came cuz you know you have a long long set of Chicago roots you spent many years living here raise raise your family here yes raise some hell here there's a little bit more in a little bit more than a little bit yeah but it was fun when she where'd you live when you were living here and what were you if that was back in the days of early days I was out by the university of chicago on fifty-fifth street that building that they put right in the middle of the street it's the only city in the world where the politics is so strange you can build a building in the middle of the street and the cars boron and so I was there in this that's how I met my wife I was she's at University cargo and I was taking a shortcut through it she thought I was a professor honest mistake but good one Yes Doctor wanna use now how many years 50 50 years no no love ain't got nothing to do with it she told me when we first got mad if you ever leave me I will hurt you then hurtful people brother home for a long time and there's another word that I keep above the home that Michael Jordan found out about Cole has my problem is I guess like a lot of black men I didn't know how strong shovel we said the strongest two forces in the history of America has always been the black woman in the black church but I didn't realize how you know how smart she was until it was there's certain things that happened it you know Kobe Bryant remember that incident a white woman accused him of raping her and he went home and bought his wife were four million dollar diamond ring now if a white woman tonight but Cuse me raping her and I go by little a full moon dial diamond ring she'd get two more white women you hear me because you got enough sense to know wherever that ring came from there's a matching necklace and bracelet huh and sometimes you just kind of forget you know you can be live with you take them for granted you know and I don't know why most Americans have not been able to see that the whole rhythm have changed but y'all be playing games and talk about the young folks this and talk about young folks that i was at a conference the other day and they talked about the young the young voice which they pants hanging down but if that was women with your pants there we would love it and so my reaction is simple that's cool but why is this a priority Hitler never wore his pants down the Mafia you can find people know immaculate in them the priests that got busted for ripping off a little boy for 100 years they never wore a pants down the problem is is when you try because your spirit is not there to identify wrong by the way it look then you're in trouble instead of saying wait I don't qualify to analyze this but let's see if we can find somebody if you ever bit your tongue you know how bad that hurts these white children go stick they tongue out and run five screws through it and they're not taking pain killer and y'all so arrogant and on a crazy side of nothing locked up with greed you don't even know what that means anytime you're young folks start inflicting pain on they self and you better watch you if you go back and check and find out why the Chinese hate the Japanese because of the invasion in 1933 and they had instructions not to kill the leaders every young Chinese man you see with a tattoo blow their brains out you don't even know what they knew that tattoo represents revolution so don't laugh at these children if you want and think they crazy anyway that's a good good advice good advice you mentioned politics and that big building on the south side yes and there's another big building downtown that back in the day when you were doing your protesting stuff you called a snake pit you remember that you call City Hall a snake pit and you call the gentleman who was running at a time the snake you remember who that was you know why do you tell me I can't bring no gun here and then you start bringing up all that you see what you trying to get a story for the Mars paper yeah I rightful sometimes remember yes okay so by richard j daley you were you get against richard j daley you you know random arsonist outside of his house i ran against him and I couldn't understand why he was so upset I had white cops I didn't even like me was coming to tell me said you know you can die for what you do not even true and what they were talking about was this man was probably you'd have to go back to the early days of the Roman Empire to find someone that was his most powerful there was most house his embarrassment was that I was running as a write-in candidate and what they was worried about was High Park children educated group money group and then go how to write in and that's what his embarrassment was how did you go in that race I did I did well if I the one I to ask for recon son's got me wrong just take something yeah welcome somewhere you know it's just like when when when they found Richard Nixon's hate list and and the AP call me mr. Gregory we gotta hate list of dick Nixon and you number three can we get a comment from you as they tell him I except for he changed his mind but those was funny thing I learned a lot here you know I come out of st. Louis you go to st. Louis you're good oh yeah was just there the other day I went to I was on camera on your campus at SIU Carbondale where you went to school yeah well any time you go through st. Louis City watch back three hours it slowed down there huh slower so you weren't you also and white folks and black folks are different when it kind of Lee got bad and white folks decided that you couldn't keep those three or four dogs you call the animal shelter and they picked him up that's why I animal shelters are full and they budget is gone my black cousin he'll know about an animal shelter he's got five pit bulls that he realized he lost his job he couldn't feed them so he care them in his car 30 miles outside of st. Louis to little town called kinloch and just let him go they beat him home so you also ran for president before certain gentleman who now occupies the White House matter of fact unkilled here and I was the only african-american to run for president wait wait look did y'all come to hear me I come here shirley Chisholm was a woman shirley Chisholm al Sharpton and all the others carol moseley braun they ran in the primary i ran on a write-in candidate and have Obama not won the primary that open to this day I would still be the only black in the history of America to run for president of the United States that's why you got to be careful with perception now had I been I never really asked how lucky white folks are you know I mean when you finally get a african-american that's your present he's a nice polite one with the hard way Oh head of his class see what she I really needed was a brother like me and you had a lot to write about oh yeah so if my first act about this morning would go to the White House and dig up that rose garden and plant meet a watermelon patch Michelle's got that guard maybe you talk to her about that day no no there's no not into that huh you know they are Connor and they did no white folks in my tablet didn't laugh on that one digit and you black folks the only will you qualify to be in my cabinet you had to go a little further in school in the third grade so how do you think Barack Obama's doing so far well I haven't put my cabinet together yet let me do that okay all right maybe you could tear this apart if you see see my belief is this if these white folks been messed up this country this bad with cabinets with PhDs and some of the wealthiest people in the world and if we end up with this mess let me try something different some Negroes ain't never been to school paint recant right and let's see if we can change it well I got a cousin I'll try to sing Lewis jabo he'd be my secretary of defense and I just TTYL folks on 60 minutes jabo not just You secretary what you plan on doing about defense say first I'm gonna fix it then paint now would you do will you address how's Obama doing and even now why do you know this is a play what we really want to talk to really talk to you about tonight is race yeah but first you ever urea is you about Obama he's the first I couldn't ready he's he's the first he's a legitimate president okay okay tell us about that well Bush scared white folks overhead they forgot they were supposed to vote for Negro so he's smitten and it was nice and they was humble and they was polite but not in I scared no more now he's catching hell you know where you've been how come you took the plane to go you know that comes like a from suddenly remembered his black you know but the whole bit is I wouldn't try to grade him I'd give him incomplete because when he came in the house was on fire and there's certain things that he have to do okay like the banks or not you know Jesse James in like banks but the perception of banks around the world if he didn't walk in and say that now we put him in jail later but yet it what's your name brother oh the real I thought I heard something no the earthy one Pope if they brought me into the hospital and I've been wounded and bleeding and fractured skull and broken ribs and why your whole team is working on me if my heart stops you got to stop everything and fix this well that's what happened here when he came in huh he had to fix and it was so much that's why would I would give him an incomplete if I had to grade him I'd give him my eight plus you know hey Clark so one of the things one of the things that like to think that he's helped fix this race relations know you can turn this post-racial Society tell me I'm kinky [ __ ] like to that's like saying he got to be president in my brain tumor he's not qualified to fix that his election didn't do it see in America we look for the cheap way out okay he's not qualified if see if I have it here and this is kind of slow maybe I didn't bring it to but I have the research out of UCLA right and they did a brain scan on black box with my books you know this man he had he reads and he spent a thousand dollars a week a week yes and paper streets everything well I get a thought now where'd I don't pay them all you're not eating on the internet you're getting it free no I just know I see I don't do know that computer stuff I've had in my life after Queen Elizabeth when she learned how to type I'm a run out of time Queen Elizabeth you see if I say something about white folks tonight you can be guaranteed I'm not talking about you see what i mean by that white is not of color it's an attitude and if you don't have trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need you can have the attitude I'm talking about Queen Elizabeth tight white folks and most of the black folks y'all know we owe y'all a serious apology because we mad at the wrong why folks wiper we made that couldn't help us if they like this now if like they're kill you on the way you get me and I guess what I'm trying to say is Queen Elizabeth made 360 million dollars every 24 hours just interest on her money now then these white folks they not honest they're not ethical they're not spiritual it up godly but they don't lie see we're going to war to protect our interests and real white folk the real wipe over on the planet never had a job hmm never had a job and so it's that whole piece of what we tolerate and God have kind of blesses because the only thing that makes us a loose faith and we haven't had them do to us what you did in Germany with Hitler is we don't have an honest demigod in America yeah Hitler with all his crazy he was honest he told what he's gonna do he wasn't stealing money and all that and so consequently if we stop being frightened and stop being afraid and then we can see we sit here and know that the wall street boys determined what legislation and urinals hear a damn thing about it at all we take stuff off of them that we wouldn't take off for each other but that's okay that's why I can't understand how you call yourself Christians and can be for capital punishment well for two reasons first don't you know the state killed Jesus so how can you cry over the pulp fiction of Jesus and be for capital punishment no he was killed by the state he wouldn't run down by some drunken chariot driver and if Jesus Christ came back that's why stop you ask my ex-wife stop going to my baptist church 10 nieces I'm some chai tea black hole series were you there when they crucified d Lord you know that's a cheap song the same two thousand years later you wasn't there then and motobe wouldn't show up now and the Jesus Christ came back to America today and bub the wrong people they give him a letter chair and all those Christians be walking around with big chairs around our neck right how how do you make the sign of the chair how do you make the sign of the chance you said once I saw my research you said once that you learned a lot about comedy in the church that you learned everything talk about that well first I'm born 1932 right and so there was no TV just radio and come out of the ghetto and I've been around white folks and so all the white comedians are they worth anything funny to me but you know you young folk city you have to understand where you are today mean I'm born in 1932 we were so dumb we used to listen to tap dancers on the radio I mean can you believe especially old black folks heyo black oak night I don't know what's wrong with these younglings when we was their age we didn't have to lock your doors you didn't have nothing I'm so pulling hungry and riding around the child the best day we had in the house was Halloween that's the day you could wear your natural clothes never I thought she was dressed for the occasion oh look at Richard got on shoes look just like feet so the church we talked about the church well I didn't we didn't have my clubs and st. Louis and the ones we had was blues and jazz so the window Congress so when I hit it big and someone said where did you learn your comedy that relies mines not Congress humor and I learnt the black church black preacher how you speak for black creatures white probably the same have a new sermon every week 52 sermons and don't have Hollywood writers and never give the same sermon over and they are funny they don't leave the house for go to church to tell you jokes it's just something when you into that zone like the funniest laugh you have had your life in come from the professional comedians come from friends and relatives you'd be laying all over on the floor to tell the same jokes every Thanksgiving the same way the difference between being funny and being a comedian its timing timing well you need timing if you just you talking from your spirit from your heart then so that's what I realized that that Hugh Hefner before Hoefler brought me in he brought you to play work or play ball or unique world comic couldn't work like nightclub you could saying you could dance but you couldn't stand flat-footed you're the first flat-footed first now before that when I look at the bill cosby's in the Richard Pryor all these brilliant black comment I think about in the last hundred years when we weren't permitted how many of those that we waste how many of them was there and until consequently before that we was hustlas not negative when the supermarket won't let me sell my oranges in the supermarket because I'm negro I said to stand up outside and sasco hustling and then heckler came through and sleep you know bring your lunges in here and if you go back and check the records in those days they always put Negro in front of my name was in bother me negro comedian then when Bill Cosby came through the sequel's as long as you couldn't work a white knight club and he was reduced down to hustling funny brilliant and then when that door opened and we were able to work white clubs then that changed from hustling to an art form heart phone and what makes Bill Cosby sold genius is the same thing that may Michelangelo all the great artists because he paint pictures with his voice and you see it there was no need for that before and so consequently the door was open now white women black women Asian women that one knock down created what you see now what do you think of some of the comics to come along now I love them Chris Rock I love them but you know you know what you know what my branch no one of my brand should have told me if you go to the movie granddad music too loud you just too old to be alone because you know I have 10 children 12 grandchildren and I listen to him in a nevertheless how don't we were mean februari of the second it's Groundhog Day what's a groundhog I'll go all over the world but in every rest we couldn't go to I've never seen a groundhog on the menu and you know if you don't eat it it don't exist but listen what they tell us on Trev wait a second if the groundhog sees its shadow you notice all right six more weeks of winter huh now spring is mar 21st and when you get home get your calendar and count from february's second the Martinsburg that is six weeks groundhog ain't got a damn thing to do with it you see how easy did Frances heavy white folks ever ask what is black on black crime huh yes a black person what's black under that well we tired of black folk still in black folk and that don't bother your eye poke [ __ ] a black polka Weber not they didn't say they tired of black folk killing with a tired and killing black oak then who be left and if we all went to China tonight who offends killing Chinese and John tonight if we go to Italy tomorrow who you think is killing the Italians and Italy and if ninety-eight percent of all white folks that was murdered and a miracle as he was murdered by white folks if ya'll digs on my white on white crime how y'all trick us to talk about black-on-black crime you kill where you live and if you black folk tired of black folk in life join the Urban League and wtp give with Jesse Jackson push get out here and join us and integrate this country and I guarantee you if I'm living over there that white suburban neighborhood and mold lady make me mad enough to want to shoot somebody I'm not going to get in my car and drive back together so but all you all you have to do is just listen huh that got all kind of stuff on TV but as long as it's these big corporate America putting it on that turn on TV and they talking about oh I can't think of the appeal they give you for me no viagra no no the other one viagra is two and a half hour erection just other cialis oh right folks you know what it is and if you white folk don't believe is a difference between black and white they tell you if you have a four-hour erection go to the emergency room and my neighborhood a four-hour erections called a treat you go to the damn drug store and tip the pharmacy speaking of and they say erection right in front of your juice so my grandson 4 years old walked up to me said grandad what's an erection I said go ask your grandma as I say y'all got to be careful about these sisters he came back smiling I said what did she say she told me that uh she'll tell me later but for me to tell you she ever seen one anything around the house in years you you or once 350 pounds you want to straight through the 80 pounds I as I understand you smoke four packs of cigarettes of every day you drank a fifth of Scott you have a good time no reason I didn't do drugs one no room and and look at you now obviously something's happening something happened what happened what what got you on that whole health kick you created some wonderful nutritional products that really took off happen here in Chicago a black woman way before anybody knew about the human body and what you should eat named dr. Fulton and she sent me said health food store he see I thought good nutrition is whatever he was eaten if you like me he didn't run out to you got enough and I thought bad nutrition is if it ran out before he got enough that was bad nutrition and it was funny my drink a fifth of scotch every day and smoke four packs of cigarettes every day and nobody ever called me a nut when I went in to help they said I was a health nut and I came up just like everybody else up you know doctors that's all I knew this dining at your woman went to see dr. she got my right knee hurt you see how old money he said 98 see that's why you right knee hurt she say doc my left knee is 98 and it don't hurt and it was that and then trying things and seeing it me and then feeling good I mean I didn't come out little health family and then one day I realize I hadn't been sick and then I went on a fast the protester war in Vietnam and I used to drink so much whiskey that I wake up in the morning and I couldn't move the pain in my stomach not just have to run give me a cold pepsi cola or something crawl across the floor and then after about 18 months of being a vegetarian I didn't even know what Vic I never heard that you came because back then when I stopped eating meat when you went to a restaurant they gave the vegetables were it's called side on you are the whatever you want the rest of the went with it you coming in not gonna order this snake and tell them either side or they wouldn't wait on me but 18 months my sinus trouble laughs at mine was so bad if I move within a 50-mile radius I've ever sinus attack now I'm Emma nah I'm still drinking and smoking and then like six months after that my ulcers disappeared and that's why I slowed up to where he must be something to not eaten animal product and you know we called it you know meet no it's called fudge meet is called the meat of the Apple the meat of the arms see how they switch works on the meat of the nut you know in the three strongest animals in the jungle the gorilla the elephant and Iran artists they never ate nothing but fruit and berries my problem was that once you do something that dramatic all my black friends oh they became scientists how come here you know me what you do for protein well when you love people you can explain things to them and it gets through I said well the three strongest animals in the jungle to guerilla the elephant on office but they don't even know me matter of fact to meet you we don't eat meat see how simple it is a matter of fact protein there's a lot of protein in a steak but caused only each state yeah you have to do it and then little by little and then when I lost the weight I'll be honest I don't think I've totally lost the weight had I not been fasting I went 40 day fast approach us toward Vietnam and then I extended it to another 40 days so I went 40 days on water 40 days on fruit juice and 40 days on fruit to 40 days on water and when I got through others 92 pounds down from 3 30 and i had to stop smoking and stop I didn't mean to see I advocated people belong to a age you take a drink on the Waco that other stuff ain't worked you know that drink it's the 13th step and so what I did is had I stopped smoking and drinking at the same time that I probably would have been here now because I would have thought it was the smoking and drinking they changed it but I was smoking and drinking and the only thing I changed was animal problem anything died so it's decomposing decomposition is mucus and pus you can [ __ ] decomposition by refrigeration but is your stomach a refrigerator or incubator so it speeds it up I don't have no problem with how you eat have a problem that the people who's ripping you off do not tell you and it's hard for you to listen to somebody else when all the stuff you've eaten that's bad your mother gave it to your church gave it to you your state gave it to you so why would you believe somebody else and so when you sit and you look for you all aware that nowhere on this planet is not locked into some kind of money financially with us we'll take our food from this country because it's genetically engineered and if you know anything about you up they call it Frankenstein see huh and they will not take your potatoes called all white potatoes and repete is genetically engineered and there's a hormone in there that one day you find out about but it might be too late and none of them countries will use it and the whole world's laughing at you now because it's a strange phenomenon that's going on we don't understand up until this year ninety-eight percent of the folks died from the flu was 65 and over y'all coming reason this year is different this year eighty-seven percent of the flu deaths is 65 and down with the highest number from 36 to 20 and all over the world they laughing saying genetically engineered potatoes they give it from the fast food now let's look at it china is the most populated country in the world they've had 300 cases and no depth no fast food no potatoes from here okay India populated 37 cases Russian none but you know I did lie and so it's that whole thing now three top killers in America yeah people ask me I'm I'm 77 right you see you look so well how do you know when you're getting old you know when you get know when somebody complement them beautiful alligators use you in and you baffle it nope you also know when you get know when you're going to restaurant and order a three minute egg and they make you pay in advance the number one calls a depth in America it's sleep deprivation number to dehydration and number three like a physical fitness all of them are free all of his gift from the universe but we don't have time then you have to pay a price so I was telling my wife those there I'm 70 70 72 and we don't have prescription between the two of us Wow and that's you know that's and so if you drink the water and walk well this black woman came up to me and she said you know how you say woof but I've got a bad leg won't bad walk the same way you walk when you go buy them a lot of ridiculous I'm sorry you guys okay I wanted it's just about time I want to give the audience a chance to weigh in here and ask you a few questions but so get ready if you have questions we're going to have someone walking around room with the mic but I just want to go do a real quick rip with you yes put some names cuz okay I do just know so many people and oh so much history as yes give me a one a line of joint each one of these names Lillian Gregory of my wife my daughter asked me one day she said dad those are luminescent brilliantly justice out all they liked it means I come out get over no education I be scared of something economy died so she said that she was like 27 years old here we are we're doing this uh essay and I I had a choice to do it on space astronauts or do it on the family so I decided to it on family and I asked mother can i interview you and I said yes so she said how did you propose to tomorrow and I said well Michelle me and your mother got married on februari the second and you was born on march twenty eighth yeah oh I think I'll do it on the astronauts right michael jackson michael jack michael jackson i knew him personally I could not tell you ten friends of his cuz I didn't know him from that level I put him on a 30 day water fast and he went on to 30 day one we didn't call Michael crazy and all of that the walk but when Michael died he owns right to this mended fifty percent of Sony records which is worth about 40 billion dollars now what he didn't know what I've got this from friends British intelligence that under the land and never land is more all than it's a Kuwait okay and so as close as we was I didn't want to get involved with that with him because I've got to put some friends for me he had the mind of from a child he asked me one day why am I so strange why am I so weird as in who you are that but I said how old it 10 years ago 7 40 years old and I said what Michael you've been of stars and he was 5 years old I can't use the word I use to him here but you read it in I said Michael you 40 and since you five years old you never had to beg a woman for sex does he think about that I was mad 40 years then I fed up and married to Lillian for 40 I'm still baking and if I had to take off 7075 to count all the time that I beg for sex I'd be about 15 years old now but think about Michael think about never walking to school in the wintertime or in the summertime when it's hot or being pressed for homework or sitting in class nervous wondering if you passing that get private tutors in a private tutor go mess around when they know their job depends on that so all of those norm claims one more room service room service if the attic room service easy to restaurant you know strange thing about rooms are interested you can't smell the food when you at home you smell the onions and the garlic and you smell everything so all his life he I told Michael one day I'm surprised you get up in the middle of the morning Oh mother refrigerator light come on you don't start doing your act okay but he was that genius but who wouldn't be if all they had to do was that huh they never worried about money huh thinking worry about pleasing was worried about that you know and you lady see you see what pressure that put on us me telling people about Clarence Thomas now some of y'all don't like Clarence Thomas but you got to understand plans tom was poor black rule mama couldn't read or write he had nappy hair thick jaws wide nose but he look real negroid can you black women wouldn't go to the prom with it so he met him a white woman and haters all so I teach my granddaughters just go to the problem with do we have a question yes wait when she got to bring the mic younger okay thank you for being here you mentioned that when you were hired by if you have near at the playboy club that he listed you as a Negro comedian well Chicago humanities festival listed you as an African American comedian in the bios what's the difference between african and african well what is a negro that's the first thing there's not something that I named me and I don't understand why you you black folks upset over the word [ __ ] you can never be a [ __ ] your name your autobiography [ __ ] yeah and if I had a child and will be guaranteed right now at 77 god blessed me and give me a boy child ever grow up to be the greatest athlete in the history of the planet greatest greatest run of greatest distance runner greatest hertler greatest football basketball I'd name him [ __ ] so y'all have to sit the radio and say and [ __ ] cuts to the left stick and you better not say that [ __ ] because his name ain't that [ __ ] need his [ __ ] and then all at once the oj simpson trial came through and millions of people believe he did it but he beat it before the way mark harmon used the word [ __ ] so someone other than elsa sided is going to be switched to the inward and black vote went along with it you play my jewish brothers would be stupid enough for some Germans was upset over Hitler they changed the word SWAT sticker to the s and concentration camp to the C word if you add Jews all over the world what did Jesse Jackson plate to make you mad he said Jaime town not to H work that's what I love but my writings all over again I won't be Irish why because they didn't call iris [ __ ] they call him drunk and fighting hours okay and what they did they took the word jumping off and K fighting irish to know today watching we have a mic what did you finish out okay so you don't have any problem with that word huh you're having prob what that words look if I juice to orange right now you can do it on you if you're stupid enough to leave your orange then you something wrong here just cause somebody throw that on me if I say all you hoes newest and if you get mad you hoe I didn't call your name it's a game and look when the gays was in the closet there couldn't be cops it couldn't be principal schools a lot of jobs they couldn't get when they came out the closet things changed so how come coming out the closet is good for everybody except me we're going to put [ __ ] in the park America is mature enough to deal with that filthy where they didn't come from another planet it was created right here by homegrown American boys let me tell you something when I was growing up as a child there was a lot of people scared up the headaches didn't want to get check phones they might find out there's a brain tumor well you keep lying and coming up stuff and you die just like them old folks died that didn't want to hear the truth somewhere you women didn't get to be polished and president all these men because you hear the fact you let them know we don't like what's going on and when I think about you know when I think if I was a white woman I was just tear up to 15th amendment 15th amendment gave black slave exclaimed men the right to vote and you didn't get it to 1920 and you came over on the boat with the boy and so when you stop and think about you know no you can never be a [ __ ] just cross tonight all right let me put this way you billionaire now go to neiman marcus a lot of your [ __ ] guess cuz I called you a billionaire don't make you one and the problem that bothers me that anything negative you call you can take that but if I called you a bigger bigger net no he must be crazy and so somewhere that's why I don't I have a problem when you hide anything huh we are where we are now in America we are better nation now than we was before the king in the civil rights movement but we was hiding it and now we got to get to the point the paper I was looking for was this is this your young probably punch it up on them internet UCLA psychiatrist department did a huge piece where they put a brain scan on 100 white folks and it showed up on a huge screen to brain and they had all the segments happiness sadness fear fight and I didn't hundred white folks they showed them pictures of their family that's already been prearranged pictures of family pictures where they pull up piggies of folks they do when they were blue children and and you can see this lovely hi trans ility then they showed them pitch of a black man and sixty-three percent of them feared them they jumped through their skull and they not aware of this now put that on hold they took 100 black folks hook them up get the same thing show them a picture of a black man sixty-four percent up reacted the same way you don't qualify to change this if you don't know what go on in the human body we played along the love on this emotional crap now let's sit down and bring in some honest folk not some old people that want to trick scientists I'm in Budapest not too long ago and they talking about Oh climate change no he's bringing people standing up and they say well this time to say this not this on setting up so I'll just got down to my gentle drag I said well you know I don't know nothin bout you know climate change all I know is this I know that this glacier has been there for many years they melted case over you know but lot of y'all feel like you gotta be smart and all that comes baby black box right here I'm gonna do everything some wiper one find out what was in my head they read all my stuff so they bring here with forty thousand dollars they just want to hear a mr. Gregory what's some of the pressing the things you have on your mind today now i'ma tell her I said well I'm trying to find out what happened to albino was after high school you know to me every high schools out l battle then they disappear I want to wear that go outside or we never reach the woman that be easy to find I've been in the military no albinos huh I worked the audience like this all jobs no albino I'm on the plane every day so I'll vinyl what happened to alkynyl after high school they couldn't have they said what what's the next thing that's bothering I say I'm 76 years old and I've never seen the baby pigeon I don't know nobody that knows somebody that seen a baby picture and when you see pigeons are always sitting upon electric watch where did they sit before they was like we have time for two more questions questions okay recently in the news there was a judge in the deep south who refused to marry interracial couples on the excuse that their children like Tiger Woods would have major problems if you were here in the audience today what would you like to say to him to him to know when you mean no take that again I'm what would you say to the judge to the joy he we eventually he resigned on yeah yes he resigned but if you're here right now he embarrassed the whole state the whole nation huh you know there's a whole lots of things that embarrasses that we at war we got a democracy now that we've spoken to the whole world and this is just not some thug on the corner this is a judge hmm with that attitude but whole lots of Americans got that attitude and we tolerate it because you can hide your feelings you don't have to come out you know the Dumber you are you know it's like why do you think they put all these watch stickers on Jewish temples because that dumb white bar he came recognizes you he see if coming out there there's another white dude huh but that's his church over there he puts watch stickers no that's the wrong but once you flush it out he's not the only one suppose he would have gone on in meriden he still felt that way to keep his job that's why we got to work and flushed his whole thing let me tell you I'm tell you the sad part is a week clap and how much y'all to hear this good most black folk sometimes we make mistakes can raise to recognize or races white the same way you can recognize my blackness we act like we don't when I'm with white folks when I was growing up my hair say they're effing Jews or you feel that way about somebody that way I know how you feel about me when all at once when you refer to my sister as gal so there's little planes but I say did you say this that I believe that they become a day I could walk through an airport and they could have a camera that could protect a bottle of water in my bag that i didn't know what's that when I was little bored people didn't know nothin bout brain tumors this throws migraine headaches they had invented the machines to go in there and see the tumor then tested the Stevens Molina and when I was a little boy when it gave you brain surgery they took us on and cut your skull over now they go up through your nose huh that's how fast it's going so DNA DNA didn't just get and did it when we discovered it DNA video since day one but look at all the people that died and been to jail wrong because in Benjamin I hear me good there will come a jail that they can run a test right now when you get out the car and they test you for driving drunk drunk you think they need the blood they got a flashlight they can shine over there and pick up your alcohol level okay there will come a day when these brilliant scientist not born now we'll be able to test you and tell if you racist or sexist if you hate Jews if they platform why to save their companies from lawsuits and just like a hundred years ago most folks didn't know what cancer was huh didn't know what a heart attack was they existed and so we're going to be into a whole new world now because this thing has become global and that's why hey when you go outside this country and you have talking about the ugly American things on my black vote and this year for someone's Jesus ugly as you and I Behavior all of that is going to have to change that's how Obama have changed things around the world that's why we had 15 minutes to try to get stuff right and when he went to that first g8 meeting in London huh and if you've been following the g8 meetings of the g20 meetings all over the world for the last 20 years white children have showed up whoever's the president they burned him in Africa you've always seen except in London when Obama was sworn in and two weeks later he went to London they didn't hang him because they sensitive time in black folks been lynched now how can phone us be this sensitive but we can't at home and you dropping this huh y'all talking about told us that the stimulus package and in the domenica bill we leaving it further choose you ain't left nothing for your children that they don't have to pay for like a racist attitude and a new world that ain't going to tolerate it and can test you to see if it's bigger that's it so one last quick question um I'm freezing um in the South there was a young lady who went to walmart when she walked in the door she put a door she put her daughter in line she went and got her belongings which I do that too and when she got it when she got there back a line they arrested her for cutting the line and they're now trying to give her 15 years for cutting the line in walmart I've listened the cases is real what city was that in I can't think of the city but they've been asked in for this has been going on for two years I found out and they've been asking for the closed caption of what actually went on in walmart and nobody the district attorney will not supply it at first they wanted to do a plea bargain with her and she refused to do it and so that that's when they decided they were going to give her 15 yes let me say this and normally I wouldn't use this as an example but some of your all in here know about this sheriff in that little town in Texas to put hundreds of black men in jail by framing them with drugs some of y'all know what this daily machine there two black men and the one for that white dude that investigative reporter that talk about how they taught youth in the John Birch Jason yes okay and found out how many of them so it happens all over every nine then they get caught have y'all heard about that Luke little town in Pennsylvania all white we're all them judges just got busted because they found out they was in cahoots with the white companies in New York that build the jails and then they wanted to build you sent up jails and all these whiteness one white girl said well I heard five months how long you been is I've been in five years and so if they do that to white what are you going to do to us but you must remember one thing that I never learned till I went south in the civil rights movement in the south they don't care how close you get as long as you don't get too big that was proved by sleeping I'm living on same piece of land he lived on he called his a hole called my plantation I was living in Australia living in the pickup we were living together up north they don't care how big I get as long as I don't get too close okay safe huh now let me show you how it works I couldn't understand and silver eyes moving wide and white smoke was blowing up churches killing black folks white folks hinders flow killed him to civil rights workers she white and one black and I realized why they live close enough to me in the south just half their gig of [ __ ] the right to vote they're being the white house they was right and y'all can sit here with all your little cuteness but imagine if I waved a magic wand and all you black and white polka near become dirt pole white folks with no education k treat ain't right living the poor the land and up until Obama you could always say but at least I ain't no [ __ ] you can't say that no more imagine what they're going through and we just came out of New York looking at from research and for the first time in the history first time this year that fifty percent of all women that was killed was killed by their husbands of our friend this is so you got the economy thing but you got this projection time and then all at once if y'all were just do me a favor go to the store this week and go to the dog food affection and buy a camera all for Apple this one look at it battery to show your friends they the dog of album because more when but why proof is eating more dog food than dollars huh not the pride I don't want to talk about it I want to go through for this whole mixing I'm telling up if this thing don't change I mean we got one set of rules huh for black folks nother set of rules why Pope another rule for women when I looked at Jeremiah Wright when when when they were said well how come you didn't leave the church in the ball I cuz he's just kind of nice because it has me that harvest it well I don't see no Catholic priests and nuns leaving the church when the priest got caught so why I got to be different huh Hillary asked the question I got on the radio and same is Hillary whatever Jam I was doing he wasn't breaking the law but your husband got caught doing in the whiteout that was a violation of the law and he insulted and ashamed you know daughter around the world you didn't leave him so the rules changed now let me let me just close with this the question you ask is getting a lot of attention and something will happen the reason the Justice of the Peace of the judge had to step down it's getting attention in detention Oh lots of stuff happened that we don't know about the three people three people that's the cause of slavery ended in the Civil War before Lincoln was one no I think that it was very brilliant is that is exactly his award for Bill Cosby huh my 2120 yellow know how much it is more Twain was born on halley's comet that comes every 75 years 75 years later he died on Halley's Comet what does he do he wrote these books and unbeknown emotional he was the first writer that refused the right with that old english style huh he wrote southern Midwestern America and when he wrote Huck Finn [ __ ] Jim if you don't understand his intelligence and where he was coming from you see before he said [ __ ] Jim all black folks was [ __ ] come here [ __ ] and whenever I boss said Nick all y'all look cause [ __ ] didn't have a name I was cocky fees nickel and then more Twain came to for the first time in history of America and gave [ __ ] [ __ ] this [ __ ] his name Jim the first time that ever happened and if you go back and read up then you notice when they sittin on the river bank fishing it's the first conversation of a black and a white as human beings he wasn't talking to him like you own me and he wasn't putting them the worms on his official and when he that white ball caught the fish he didn't debone it there was two human being not number two Harriet Beecher Stowe see we forget that ninety purpose in the wife of America never owned slaves so they didn't know where slaves went through until she wrote uncle tom's cabin and then white folk got to read what uncle tom went through and the atmosphere changed okay so you got a black man that has a name for the first time then she comes around and tell you who didn't know and then when you go way back down before that John Brian yeah i'll talk about heroes if you want john-boy John Brown see I didn't know Harpers Ferry the raid took place on october the 16th 150 years ago this 16th october 18 months before the Civil War john brown ones are preaching the alto muscle radical his mama he woke up one day god told me to free him and he got him a little posse together a little group including his sons and raided Harpers Ferry it was one of the two places in America where the government stoic ammunition and he went there where there was a hundred thousand guns they said we're gonna get these guns and give him to the slate high 16 people going to get but the fear was so frightening they got him they killed most of his two sons shot him get him a trial sentence him to die and they hanged him in december the second and this come decent myself i'm gonna be at the very spot in charlestown west virginia where he died just to say to his spirit we got you let me tell you what happened as he walked out of the jail to go behind he slipped a note to the newspaper reported that read for what you're doing to the black people you will pay for it with your brother 16 months later the civil war and when their union soldiers was righton what were they saying as they marched to the front to kill the big here John Brown that's how important you would you don't know it now because that part is here if you go to Washington DC go to Lincoln my manga he's known all over the world for the Mansa patient proclamation there's people that know of blinking and never knew he was president if you look at that huge Lincoln mind not wonder up there about the Emancipation Proclamation okay only in America only in American soul have this strange chain you see I don't need to be validated by nobody there's a universal thought force my validations already here not what I can sit here and tell you only thing I got one bad blemish on my thing I don't pay my bills I don't know if the real gods into that if it is and I got some explaining to do but I don't know if y'all remember that tree fell on my car squashed it down and if I thought I was dead and i've got a hospital and I ran all the checks and the press was there with a huge picture of the car and is it mr. Gregory how do you explain that you not dead well let's all I was going to do what motion iguazu which ain't nothing wrong Jesus I didn't say that yeah I all white folk too much money yes yes my Leman markers account now I say that to say this 40 years ago when I'm running in Mississippi for my life did I ever believe that I've said it and I can tell you in Mississippi tonight a black man its head of Mississippi State Troopers black woman's head of social services did I ever think I would see today that white folks would ask me to comment on waipo problem I'm coming back to New or three weeks ago and CNN's there the candidate I MacGregor you think we'll ever catch bin Laden I said we ain't looking for I'm still trying to find out who my daddy thank you thank you so much you

Channel: Chicago Humanities Festival

Views: 3,346,260

Rating: 4.6563482 out of 5

Keywords: Dick Gregory, Chicago Humanities Festival, black humor, black comedians, activist, Michael Jackson, Peace Party, nutrition, social justice, environment, sun-times, Laura Washington, civil rights, Mark Twain, state of black union, Cedric The Entertainer (Comedian), dick gregory too few know, Martin Lawrence (Comedian), political humour

Id: aD9wJoEfHvE

Length: 70min 8sec (4208 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 26 2010