DESTROYING Cookie Clicker With My Cookie God Program

cookie clicker a game about getting cookies gaining power solving world hunger becoming a cookie God the game has a lot of achievements from baking 1 trillion cookies to causing an apocalypse of Grandma's and I vow to get every single achievement in a week this is what happened okay let's start clicking 1 2 3 I'm bored okay little does this game know I can program is that cheating no because I'm just playing the game smarter so I'm playing this on the web browser version because I'm not paying $5 to click some cookies so the web browser version actually just lets me modify the code itself as you can see here so what I'm going to do is instead of clicking you know the only thing you can do in this game I'm going to make a program that does everything for me clicking the cookie buying all the upgrades for me and get all the achievements and when I say program I don't mean spamming Auto clickers and macros like the spiffing Brit did it was a cute attempt but we're better than this we're actual programmers here so uh let's start cheating I mean playing so obviously the first step is to get my program to click the big cookie right there and how can we do that oh would you look at that in the browser there's something called big cookie so if I just write this piece of code right here yep and there we go we're clicking already wow there's something called click cookie I just did all that for no reason ah yes the cookies the power yes all right uh the next thing we have to worry about is getting some upgrades because just clicking is not going to get the job done I won't even lie this cookie looks like queso you know big cookie big streamer dude just somebody just dominate me man let me change this cookie real quick to this one yeah oh my I don't know [Music] who okay now I'm ready to figure this out so it looks like all these upgrades are in these game doobs so let's see what we can do with them cheated cookies taste awful well good thing I'm not cheating am I right okay so if I type this I should get something and yep wow I got everything okay so we got the price and buy that's what we want right there or buy function uh whatever we'll just figure it out so if I just do this it should just buy the upgrade right oh it did nice okay now which one's the price oh okay all right so now that we know how to click the cookie and how to get some upgrades I actually have to write the program that does it all automatically so the cookie part that's all done so for the upgrades though I'm thinking I'll just write a function that just randomly picks something to upgrade if we have enough money we'll upgrade it and if we don't then we just pick again so let's write this out and there we go was really easy didn't take a while didn't make any errors I'm a perfect programmer but this function is pretty easy to understand all I'm doing is checking what can I afford and then I'm just going to randomly buy something so I could randomly get a cursor randomly get a grandma randomly get a farm it's all random this is the easiest way I thought of doing this because I'm not going to write some fancy algorithm to buy an upgrade in a cookie clicking game I just want to see what this can do so this is the code I'm going to be using to click the cookie and buy the buildings and let's see if I become a cookie God first things first first let me just change the name real quick that's way better now for the Moment of Truth please make me a cookie God please please please yes yes yes I've done it I've done it [ __ ] you spiffing Brit British programming doesn't have [ __ ] on American programming the Americans win again yeah yeah yeah yeah hey you yeah you the viewer you better subscribe because apparently 98.6% of you guys aren't subscribed why why why aren't you subscribed huh just press that button right there thank you all right a second might be too long let me just change this into instead of a second how about 1 Mill second okay this should be really fast I kind of can't get these upgrades right now and that's not very cookie God so we got to change the code fight all right let's see if this works oh sh yeah it definitely worked God damn okay new problem we can't click the golden cookie right now I don't have anything for it so we're going to have to change that because clicking is cringe [Music] so I did some coding off camera nothing too crazy you know I just wrote totally original code to modify the animation and then I also added the golden cookie function so I can just automatically click some golden cookies now and let's see if this works beautiful all my years of computer science has led up to this moment yes all right let's see if I can click faster and let's make the animation a bit crazier oh I guess we can't click faster that sucks oh well make 100,000 cookies from clicking yep that's right all me I did that let's check out these grandmas oh my God they're really old this is some abuse what are these names okay how close are we to all achievements oh wow we are not even close oh god oh he clicked the golden cookie let's go we're rich we're rich Rags to Riches rag to Rich click a golden cookie in less than 1 second how are you supposed to earn that normally what the [ __ ] that is insane make 10 million cookies from clicking all me no cheating here [Music] sugar lumps I don't think I'm going to program anything just yet until I get a bunch of them so uh I'm just going to let this run for the whole day and I'll see you in the next day why are you disrespecting me bro my mistake Original Gangster no this cannot be forgiven it is the next day and we are and Rich we are loaded here I can now feed the average American family or give a snack to queso um let's check out what achievements we got throughout this whole day since uh we got quite a bit actually what the 100 trillion cookies just to be on the local news channel are you [ __ ] kidding me 10 trillion cookies from clicking yep I clicked all that all me so there's this Legacy button right here and do not worry about the 5 days I've really just been procrastinating this but it looks like when you do this you reset with better stats so let's see if I can program a way to do it for me so the easiest way I can think of doing this is literally just clicking the HTML elements themselves so all I'm going to do is just find the HTML elements that I need to click click and then in my program just click them it's pretty easy this does not have to be complicated I want to say this again it's a f cookie clicking game okay so I wrote the program and it's pretty simple you just click the things and it does the thing so let's see if this works oh [ __ ] okay so you didn't see that [ __ ] curly brace all right now let's see if this works please work please work please work oh my god it worked it worked oh this is fancy oh queso blew up the cookie yo that almost killed me [Applause] [Music] okay unfortunately now I have to program a way to get these Heavenly upgrades and then go back to the cookie screen oh Lord bro what what no dude I I'm just not good at this right now what the [ __ ] okay I think I finally have this working it took so long so many errors but let's see if this finally works I just wrote two functions one function is to go to this Ascension page every 12 hours I might change that to 24 hours and then I wrote the actual program to choose the upgrades for me which is pretty simple I just find what I can afford and then just buy them okay please F work yes oh my God thank god it works yes thank you okay now that the upgrades work I'm going to write the code to take us back to the cookie page because I was not sure if this even worked so I'm hoping this is going to be easy please be easy Michael don't leave me here Michel my God okay this should finally work let's see if this works please work please work please work please work please work yes yes yes queso's back he's back how are we looking with achievements now 11% oh Lord we have a long way to go okay I'm going to leave this running for the whole day again so I'll see you tomorrow actually before that let me change the cookie again since it's a new day new picture empty the compartments of your pantaloon for what purpose and discard of your foot for what purpose okay day three and uh we've been stuck on this screen for I don't know how long because uh yeah there's a lot of Errors so something's wrong with with my code so uh I was looking and debugging and the error is not even because of my code it's because of my old [ __ ] code it just stayed in the browser for some reason so I guess I got to refresh the page to take it off yeah my old code [ __ ] me nice okay so I refreshed the page and now this should be working just fine hopefully there's no more issues okay how much achievements did I get in that time I'm still at 11% oh my God this must have happened really early well I guess I'll leave this running again and I'll see you guys soon hopefully nothing goes wrong I completely forgot to change the cookie here new day New Image so here's what we got today oh wait let me fix this real quick go y there we go that's Yousef right there that's Yousef the program broke again bro has no cookies so I got to refresh the page again me all right we're looking good again let's go another day another image and what do we have Nick a30 amazing so remember those sugar lumps I talked about well um I didn't know that it takes 24 hours for it to grow and there's an achievement for getting 365 which means a year and I'm not going to play Cookie Clicker for a year because I have a life so I'm going to use some programming magic and now we have 365 did not cheat by the way I spent a year on Cookie Clicker I swear now I got to write some code to use these lumps lumps lumps okay so I wrote the code to use the sugar lumps and let's see if this works and I think it's working I mean it's going down uh yep there we go my program works I am a genius okay so there's like a Wall Street bets mini game I don't know if I'm going to program that and there's also the stard Valley mini game I don't think I'm going to program that either we're out of lumps so I got to use some more programming magic so 999 would you look at that I spent 999 days in cookie clicker Source trust me bro okay so all the buildings hit Level 10 and in my program I set a limit to that so let's change that to level 100 wa 10,000 lumps I wonder how that happened I guess I spent 10,000 Days in cookie clicker Source trust me bro kings and queens from all over the world are enjoying your cookies my cookies are royalty indentured servitude oh o I have no comment there 101 achievements is only 16% what the [ __ ] I've been playing Cookie Clicker for 1 million days The Source my lumps the lumps don't lie I have a time machine fools I'm in every era from the day you were born till the day you die I was making cookies I was there yes the cookie Empire is growing cookie God grows hungrier one quadrillion cookies from clicking 100 quadrillion cookies from clicking I transform antimatter into cookies I transform luck itself into cookies the day you stubbed your toe it happened because I took all your luck away to create my [ __ ] cookies I now dunk my cookies into PE fools the secret ingredient to my cookies this whole time has been pee you can stop now never my legacy is growing my cookies keep increasing I have sextilion cookies I have a JavaScript console I will now create the first JavaScript framework to create cookies I have 300-year-old Grandma's I am the cookie God I now have septian cookies I dunk my cookies into slime from the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards to give it that extra flavor I use alchemy to create cookies I use the Law of Equivalent Exchange to generate cookies my reality is not enough I must use other universes I now use the Multiverse to generate cookies the money spread show me a cookie spread instead of ban for ban go cookie for cookie with me I bet you won't win I've taken my cookies to the next level I now dip them into lean that's right lean I'll do whatever it takes to have the number one cookies in the world not just the world in existence holy sh it's a cookie storm my program works this is sick I now dip my cookies into the blood of my enemies I have become Cookie Clicker I now turn dreams into cookies you remember that W dream you had last night that's right I used it to create some buing cookies my legacy is now enough I must Ascend into the next level it is time time to go further Beyond wo my program is skipping upgrades wait what pick an upgrade to make permanent I don't know any of the upgrades uh let me see what what looks good uh wait what the wait no no no I'm already at 1 million cookies it's been like a minute okay let me change each of these to 1 millisecond cuz I think we don't upgrade fast enough let's see what happens oh my God yeah so I got a golden cookie and now I'm making non-non cookies uh actually what does this sound like I've had it muted this whole time oh my God we're going to send again we have so much let's do it I didn't get that thing like last time oh wait what the no oh my okay how many achievements do we have 45% I have septian cookies and it's 45 it's time to ascend again let's go oh my program break okay I fixed it okay I found the thing wait no please no God I found a way to get golden cookies yes I'm going to be honest with you guys I have no idea what's going on my upgrades are different the word of the day is machine learning I don't know what's going on I have UND Deelan cookies my legacy's in the millions I have a sloth Army I have clones we're at 58% look at all these achievements okay we need to pause this we need to take a break I I don't know what's going on things are getting too intense let's look at the nice little Seasons right look at this so nice all right F this I'm bored oh my program broke again what a surprise okay can I finally get a just pick something oh no oh my God we're at 59% we're more than halfway there I have so much cookies this is just ridiculous now we're ascending again yeah oh my God this is just crazy every time I just started and my legacy is already this High I'm B these golden cookies are what the f how do you pronounce that Quattro dilian cookies Jesus Christ this sloth army goes crazy look at my Prestige my legacy cookie God's Legacy there's this dragon egg I don't even know what the fck this is give me the dragon give me dragon SE a building oh let me just get more clones there we go I have a fully trained Dragon time to ascend again okay we're back here again in my program for br okay let me just get all these upgrades again all right I think that's everything wait oh 7 4% of achievements that's a passing grade quilian cookies I'm somehow going through every holiday I've gone through Christmas Halloween Valentine's Day now what is going on what is this shimmering Veil what is going on why are my upgrades different too why do I have memes what is this a festive test tube that is not Santa Claus check this out yeah all right let's do this one last time all right so we're looking pretty good so far oh it's a little sloth these golden cookies are actually cracked my legacy goes up so fast look at this here we go again okay this is starting to feel like that one SpongeBob episode where Squidward's in that town and he's just in that cycle over and over again yeah I'm feeling that right now we're surprisingly close to all achievements I mean 83% is pretty good this popup just showed up and I don't like the sound of it I can't click it because of the program so let me stop this oh no it's it's not working okay let's see what this does oh my God what the what happened to my grandma's my 300-year-old grandma's what happened e what is this I can't click it either because of my program okay so I wrote a function to click the wrinklers apparently that's what they're called really nasty name but it should be good now I think I've done enough for today I'll see you guys on the next day cuz oh my God man oh my God hubba hubba okay so it's day five now and um yeah a lot has changed my grandma's became an alien I got a moist burer achievement uh Nick a30 is just getting it on right there in all honesty we're looking really good okay so it's the end of day five and I honestly think it's time I think I'm done with this I think it's time to just do the final thing so here's all my stats everything that I did we got pretty close 77% of upgrades and 85% of achievements in 5 days I call that a success and let's take one final look at our grandma's I'll miss you peanut I'll miss you stinky all my 400-year old grandmas goodbye moist butterscotch lips goodbye Barack Obama it is time to unleash the final program to end my suffering of cookies to end everyone's suffering there is one function in cookie clicker that's built in to give you everything and it's time to use it ruin the fun you feel a bitter taste in your mouth I call that taste victory you're free free at last I now have all the prestige upgrades I have all the upgrades and I now have all the achievements in cookie clicker I've done it I have 100% of this game and it's safe to say I am the cookie God

Channel: The Coding Sloth

Views: 769,512

Keywords: Cookie Clicker Automation, Game Automation Tutorial, Cookie Clicker Guide, Automated Gaming, JavaScript Gaming Hack, Cookie Clicker Cheats, Browser Game Automation, Cookie Clicker Strategies, Coding for Games, Cookie Clicker Hacks, Game Automation Software, How to Automate Cookie Clicker, Idle Game Hacks, Cookie Clicker Tips, Cookie Clicker Bot, Gaming Automation Guide, Cookie Clicker Advanced Techniques, Cookie Clicker Playthrough, Coding in Gaming., cookie god

Id: dQf0rQslJmE

Length: 16min 36sec (996 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 13 2023