Dear Anxiety || Spoken Word

welcome everyone every time you walk through these doors you're taking steps to find yourself remember this is a safe place there's no judgment you are accepted right where you're at and wherever that leaves to find your own peace and happiness feel free to express yourself to release your anxiety I want you to be able to walk out with inner strength to finally be free Clayton it's great to have you back I know you don't like to share but why don't you start us off tonight we want to hear what you have to say [Music] I'll wake up puddle of sweat I have nightmares and I get back into bed it's like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can't get them to leave me alone thirty years old but still hates being alone when I'm home because that's when the voices get the loudest opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest but these demons keep pressing me I swear then the foul list but I've grown comfortable with their presence my conscious is calloused my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their Palace I try to evict them they return with more anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack like a punch to the stomach there's the planning for that and I didn't tell anyone because I was too scared about what they'd say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away it was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up and how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I've spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling that feeling of being lonely that feel to be lost that feeling of being sick when the lights turned off and I feel to be in the pressed I feel to be an anxious that feeling of screaming to God begging them to take this only to get silence in return I play in that bed crying and I toss and I turn and I turn and I toss to this day the doctors gave me medication the pastor said try I tried both in the society still hasn't gone away so forgive me if I fantasize about gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows I'm on the deep in now but I started in the shadows and I might just drown myself in these waves suburbian how these homes rock raves everyone's coping with something below to admit if they're all too afraid and these kids are glued or watching me what do I say if I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me everything they want me to be is when I'm dying to be but everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not learning their struggles I wake up at tears and fall back asleep in those puddles and I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm terrified that all along God is telling my sins and if he has the number must be astronomic my life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comics because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this loose and then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside but he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time he's not gonna keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed I was never made to act like this I'm packing up my bags and he can't stop me from running fast like this I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me and I'm taking a bell to these demons who whisper despair in my ear and I've been knowing every naysayers stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises I took my lumps I fell down but I got right back up so give me a torch and this light that up I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons the gasoline look at you now now you're not laughing at me now who's the one who's being tortured of Punk'd now who's the one closing every door that I want now who's the one watching the other burned to the ground don't look away from me you better turn back around I'm not gonna talk to you now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back and I'm stalking you too and when you try to ruin some other kid's life I'll be stopping you - you took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back you told me that in my life I nearly got killed for that you took me down blood bounced right back I was lost then I got found like that and everything you told me I wasn't someone new told me I was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves and when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety he reached it in place hope deep inside of me so I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me and I'm demanding a refund on every lies that you sold me you knew I'd find a way out sooner or later and I found my escape in the form of a savior [Music] [Music] clean clean [Music] we're here to help are you sure you don't want to share I'm good thank you [Music] you you

Channel: Clayton Jennings

Views: 9,646,289

Keywords: clayton jennings scandal, Clayton Jennings, claytonjennings.com, Christian video, clayton jennings message, Jesus, God, how to be saved, how to know God, what will you say?, what will you do?, where are you going?, get this off my chest, church pew bar stool, live love, spoken word, spoken word poetry, christian sermon, how to deal with anxiety, poetry about anxiety, how to overcome anxiety, clayton jennings anxiety, dear anxiety, please don't kill yourself

Id: m4s9qNCAZjY

Length: 5min 59sec (359 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 23 2018