Top Relationship Secrets | Pastor Jeremy Foster

right are you guys ready come on let's give Jesus innovation wash them right now then it feels good it feels good here at our West Houston campus but we're also welcoming in our Cornerstone campus our Cypress campus rkd campus and our tens in the campus come on let's let everybody know get people all over the world watching and this weekend we launched our Tanzania campus and I want to tell you that in that first launch day we had three people give their lives to Jesus and I think that's amazing that a continent away across the ocean hope city has transferred well and we're seeing great things already happen there and so make sure that you make plans at some point to go visit it's a beautiful area you can climb Kilimanjaro while you're there and and also see some amazing things one more time let's give them a great big hand we love you guys Morris and Nima pastors over there and and I want to tell you if you're brand new to Hope City thank you for coming my name is Jeremy Long's my wife Jennifer we get the honor being able to pastor here our church is four years old and in four years we have seen God do some amazing things in fact last weekend we crossed a threshold and now we have seen more than 31,000 people give their lives to Jesus and four years that's amazing son honor to be a part of it and I want to tell you I'm excited to tell you all campuses on Thursday we sign on the dotted line we closed on the silos property and now we are property owners come on somebody little confetti just for you guys right there excited about what God is doing thank you for your generosity I've told you this since the beginning of our church God has given me huge vision for our church but but your generosity will control the pace of that vision and because of your generosity we were able to put 40% down on the property to take down that property so we got a long way to go but guys doing something big so make sure you visit home city comm / silos or when you drive by the silos on the west side of the city Beltway 8 and i-10 you'll see them there they've been there forever Holden seed and grain forever and I believe then not too long not too distant future the harvest is coming home now we're gonna see God do some things in your family's lives and I'm excited about it you guys fired up to get into the series today we're we're jumping into a an annual series that we do we always do it during the summer and we do a series on relationships and the tagline has always love sex and marriage because that's what we're talking about and the problem is people get that in the wrong order and and mess it up and this year the title of our series is definitely maybe because that is the commitment level of most people and we want to find out what the Word of God says about it relationships Before we jump into that I want to tell you I had a shocking experience this week as many of you did when you downloaded the face app if you didn't download the face app or you don't know anything about it don't it's fine it's not worth it how many guys downloaded the face app raise your hand that's awesome it gave all your information to the Russians whatever alright um a true story if you're Russian not against you it's just true it is an app that when you download it you can take a picture and then you can make yourself younger or you can make yourself older and older is hilarious and also quite scary I made myself older and I'm going to show you the first pic of that take a look at this this is me as an old cowboy literally I hear myself saying go ahead Punk make my day want to date my daughter it's cool I'll just be here for lost my teeth with barbed wire waiting trying to figure out where I'm gonna hide your body I mean that that guy lives in here okay so the first one was shocking I was like wow that's wow it's a little a little bit scary the next one don't show it yet prepare your hearts kids buckle your seat belts I took a picture of me again and it's it's awful and and I and I put us in the face app and this was the result right here just look at crazy uncle Jeremy he literally looked like Bob Barker on crack right there that's but look at her that's what she's gonna I put her in the face app too and she's like a fine line the girl never ages come on somebody your boy gonna score points during this series I'm telling you right now all right take it away it's terrifying the children I'm now here's what was funny to me about this app making ourselves look younger is a billion-dollar industry people spend money on Botox on facelifts on nighttime cream on morning cream on eye wrinkle cream on makeup to make themselves look younger and when they had the opportunity they didn't go younger they all posted pictures of themselves looking old what's wrong with you here's what's wrong with you I studied it here's what's wrong you already know what you look like when you were younger you know that ship has sailed it ain't never coming back baby okay but we are so risk-averse we want to know what the future holds we want to know what we're gonna look like we want to know what's gonna happen our lives in fact the most frustrating thing about following crisis we don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow if God would just tell me his will I would follow it in fact that's one of the number one questions that I get is how do I find and follow the will of God in my life and we're going to talk about this during the course of this about relationship series how do you find and follow the will of God for your relationships cuz here's what's funny to me we will spend so much time many of you have investments you have a 401k you have a Roth IRA you have some type of business you've invested in and before you do that if you're an investor business owner before you do that you take time right you look at it you get coaching if you don't know much about investments you get somebody who does so that you don't make a foolish investment how many of you own a house every campus just originated of you own a house you own a house still paying a mortgage for you it's yours you see you own it you didn't just roll out and be like I'm gonna buy a house today and you like that one that's the one I want let's go I'm in let's go looks right Phil's right let's do it no you took time there was a process in fact it's so important that they won't let you just do that outright you have to go through a process there has to be an evaluation on that home there has to be an appraisal on that home there has to be a third-party inspector who comes in and digs around that home someone who knows more about that home than you crawls all over the place and looks and finally goes yes or no you give someone else the authority over whether or not you make that purchase or not yet somehow with all of that investment we will follow our feelings and relationships the most important investment in your life is your marriage and we'll just walk by feelings and not by faith why is that because we think we know what's good for us right it feels good I'm all-in I like it I like her I like him we have a song he likes dogs I like dogs we both hate cats he has blue eyes I have blue eyes a moment like this I mean some one of those moments and you go all-in against the advice of parents against the advice of advisers against the advice of best friends who look at you and go they're crazy you don't know him you don't know her like I know her no we do the problem is you're blind I'm not blind you're blinded by love because when you're in love you're an idiot it's by a lot it's it's biology literally your body is infused with endorphins and it blinds you and it's really hard to see what's real and what's not so you will assign emotions feelings you'll assign a personality to them that is not theirs that's why once you get through with the in love stage the endorphins are like alright cool we're gonna chill out for a minute you look at them and you go you're not who I thought you know they never were you were the one who was all messed up hopped up on drugs natural drugs endorphins the problem with this is we have bought the lie of society can I tell you what the lie of society is I tell you every year during this series and I think you need to know and I'm going to say it every year that I can so that you can get this because there's so many of you that's still believe it here's what you believe one of these days when I find the right one everything will be all right if I find the right one they'll fix me in fact I won't even have to change for them they will love me for me that's the married people snickering right there they'll love me they'll accept me with all of my idiosyncrasies they'll just love me it's all about a feeling if I can just find the right one ever found the right one remember when you find the right one usually it happens around twelve or thirteen just we were older I love you I love you I'm committed to you I'm committed to you it's gone you need member there name now what happened they were the right one well I found another right one look later on and the problem with that mentality is once you get married they're the right one and six or eight or ten months into the marriage the endorphins are over all of that in love stuff is gone and you're like I don't think you're the right one anymore so what do you start doing I'm looking who you're looking for I'm looking for the right one and there are married people sitting at all of our campuses people watch it online all over the world and the problem with you right now as a married person is you're still sitting next to your bride sitting next to your husband looking for the right one maybe someday you'll die oh you laughs married people no and I'll just be a bereaved Widow I'll be a widower very available and then I'll find the right one why do you think the number one murder suspect when someone dies is the spouse I'm preaching today why because we are trapped by our own perception and you believed it because it's in every movie that you've ever seen it's in every romantic comedy it's a Disney has taught us how to love right if the prince can just get past the wicked stepmother and those pesky stepsisters he'll find the right one if the beasts can find true love the pedals will stop falling and then he'll turn into a man again the mermaid can just grow legs to walk off and they'll live happily in fairy tales and the problem is that's a fairy tale and that's what you're looking for and that my friends does not exist and here's why I'm gonna give you three things that are super important they're the definition of love first definition that you have to understand his love is more than a feeling turn to your neighbor and say it's more than a feeling I googled what is love this week I googled it what is love you know what came back baby don't hurt me that's literally what came back because love in popular culture is synonymous with our emotions Leona Lewis kept bleeding in love keeping and keep keep meaning how many of you thought it was a leading I thought it was leading forever keep leading I was like that's a great song no it's not bleeding in love almost every love song is about your emotions think about it you've lost that love and come on sing it whoa that every campus you where is it gone yeah gone gone how do you feel well yeah you feel sad give yourselves an that was terrible you guys are awful every campus you're all terrible but I love you that's why we don't have a choir right there I mean think about shot through the heart you did Bon Jovi very unpro right there but it's about a it's about a feeling but love is more than a feeling let me prove it to you practically how many of you love your children raise your hand you love your children I love my shirt I have five kids not because I love my kids cuz I love my wife but I have five I have five kids I love my kids but when it's time for me to change a diaper I don't get fired up I've been guys I've been changing diapers for more than half my life I got a 18 year old and I got one who's two I've got one going to the college and one still in diapers god help me and when it comes time to change a diaper I'm not like yes whoa please let me I'm so excited I hope it's a bad one oh look at that son selfie look at that so proud no I don't want to I have never ever in eighteen years never wanted to change a diaper for 18 years never why Jeremy why why do you do it because I love them and I understand that love is not an emotion love is a decision it's a choice to deal with their mess until they mature to a level that they can deal with their own mess and I'm so committed that if they never get it together I will deal with their mess with help from their mother for the rest of their lives and the challenge with us with us is we want someone who is mess-free because we believe that we are mess-free and that's as deep as our commitment goes it's as deep as our feelings love cannot be an emotion you know why because according to Jesus it's a command What did he say love your neighbors that's easy Jesus I've got that the people that I love people who love me yeah it's easy yeah anybody can do that love your enemies hang on that doesn't make any sense Jesus why would I love the haters because that shows you what love is that's love love is action Jesus would have been a terrible marriage counselor you'd go to a meal like Jesus you don't understand we just don't love each other anymore and she's like yeah Jesus don't interrupt let me finish okay like we kind of lost that loving feeling like we don't love each other anymore and Jesus would say no no no no you guys are you're talking about the noun I'm talking about the verb because love is not an emotion love is an action and the reason you lost that loving feeling is because you stopped acting in loving ways you stopped loving one another oh we just don't feel like yeah that's because motion creates emotion oh I'm preaching good because I don't act like I love you anymore it's not showing and because you don't act like you love me anymore but can I tell you this every emotion exists in love think about it think about it married people you know every emotion exists in love you're excited you're terrified you feel like heart palpitations and you're like I wish you wouldn't even come around I asked my mom and dad they've been married 47 years and I said mom how did you do it like have you ever thought about divorce she was like divorced no murder yes never divorce at some point you have to learn how to act in loving way let me give you some examples because I think this is gonna help you married people take notes because I'm getting ready to give you the secrets to your relationships single people if you will write this stuff down you will walk into marriage really knowledgeable okay I'm gonna give you the secrets that your wife wants you to know that she's never told you but your husband want you to know that he's never told you are you guys ready buckle your seatbelts here we go we're gonna start we're gonna start with the with the ladies I'm gonna I'm just gonna help you all right husband here's the secret to loving your wife you should be writing this down all right secret number one she wants Oh honest consistent communication open honest consistent communication step away from the TV step away from ESPN step away from the iPhone sit down talk to her communication does for your marriage what breathing does for your lungs fellas if you don't believe me listen to what I found in research here's what research that social research they they asked thousands of women and here's what came back most women guys look at me most women have a need for communication and marriage that has ever been as strong as the typical man's need for sex some guy back there was like hey I just want to make sure I'm talking enough just want to make sure that we're communicate calm down pal hey baby just want to make sure we're talking enough how are you feeling right now she wants to be communicated with him secret number two she wants to feel protected she wants to feel protected physically she wants to feel protected emotionally spiritually financially be the one who wipes her tears not the one who causes them be the man who protects her who makes her feel protected by your work ethic and by your character and by your integrity your wife should never wonder where you are she should know she shouldn't wonder if you're having a secret email conversation or somebody sliding into your DMS because she should have your password Oh baby we'll do that tomorrow I'll give you my pass tomorrow she wants to feel protected she wants to feel like you're praying for the family she wants to feel like you've got a handle on it you're not spending frivolously she wants to be protected Nehemiah chapter 4 verse 14 says don't be afraid of the enemy remember the Lord who was great and glorious and then fight for your brothers and your sons and your daughters and your wives and your home's be the fighter for your family be the one who says you're never getting rid of me here's what I've told my wife you're never getting rid of me girl if you end up being a star on my 600 pound life I'ma be the one pushing you in a wheelbarrow if you leave I'm going with you girl she feels protected she knows I never going nowhere never secret number three she needs your time but quality time and quantity time she just needs your time she needs to know that you're there one of the things that I learned from one of the trustees at our churches always answer the phone when she calls always answer even if you're in a meeting just answer and say hey baby girl this is what I say hey baby girl I'm in a meeting right now kind of call you back and then she'll say yes or hey it's really important and then I'll excuse myself from whatever meeting I'm in say excuse me just a minute guys let me talk to my wife what does that mean that means she knows she is priority because she has demand on my time but if you're not careful fellows will become idiots and we end up thinking there's no difference between quantity time and quality time my wife and I a few months ago we started having a little issue I know that's shocking to you cuz thought we were perfect but we have every now and then we have intense fellowship and we reckon we were having a moment of intense fellowship and it was frustrating there was just some communication gaps and so I did what I think every one of you should do because I don't practice what I preach I probably shouldn't preach and so I reached out to someone that I really trusted a pastor friend of mine who's one of our overseers at her church pastor Rick Bizet he's older than me he's got a phenomenal marriage and just reached out said hey can you help me figure this out you know I'm doing everything that I can you know I'm doing the acts of service thing that's if you haven't read the five love languages guys read the five love languages I promise it will pay off it's awesome when you learn how to speak her language I know what her language is it's acts service which I hate literally I could pay ten people to clean the garage and it means nothing to her other than the garage is clean but if I'm out there working and cleaning the garage she was like you are a sexy man I don't know why but that's how she feel it's weird but she's also a quality time person and he was like well okay so you're doing the acts of service I was like yeah he was how about the quality time I was like dude I'm around all the time I'm available all the time he says do you go on dates I said yes we go on dates he said what do you often do on your dates and I was like eyes got me because I fell into the trap dinner in a movie you know the dinner and a movie trap like hey you will go to movie and she's like oh that dad took a lot of thought that's awesome you really thoughtful because we're gonna go and not talk to each other for an hour and 40 minutes and then come home I was like ah he said you know what quality time means and I said what he said romance and so when we went on our little trip we went on the Mediterranean cruise and we ended in Paris when we flew into Paris and we stayed in a hotel the next morning we got up and I took her to the Eiffel Tower and we ate breakfast on the lawn of the Eiffel Tower and then I worked with a lot of friends and some planning and I had this little thing and she was like hey what are we gonna do today and she knew it was a surprise and then and then carriage a horse-drawn carriage came pulling up and I was like ma'am your carriage awaits I got a picture take a look at this look at her face look she just she couldn't stop smiling why do you think I'm showing this picture so she'll remember I'm romantic she needs your time okay take it down all right number four secret number four she wants to be pursued she just wants to be pursued make sure that you do now what you did then remember remember when you were pursuing her when you were always available and you came up with the great ideas do that stuff again whatever you did to get her do the same thing to keep her ladies am i helping is this helping you at all you should clap you should clap right there that's your good good spot all right here we go wives here's a secret 11 your husband secret number one he desperately needs your respect in fact he wants to know that you believed in him even even the most confident man secretly desperately desires his wife's respect well he's not very respectable honor the man you want him to be and he will fight to achieve those expectations and don't just communicate the expectations out of anger and frustration and I wish you were this and I wish you were that tell him who he is and he rise to that occasion we respond better to honor than we do to anger if I come home from work and I've been working all day and I've been killing it and I come home and there's something that I forgot to do if she looks at me and says I wish you would work as hard at home as you do for the church I wish you'd work as hard for your family as you do for God you've left that undone for three days guess what I want to do I want to be away from her and I might do it but just a shutter op y'all can't believe that can you know it's shocking that I'm human but if I come home and she looks at me literally I call this that you're my hero theory it try it ladies and he'll laugh even if he's in here try it this week and watch what happened just he knows what you're doing and he'll still respond to it when he comes home look at him and go hmm he can have the worst trust me we are very shallow he can have the worst day of his life and you look at him ago mm-hmm he's like yeah you what a man what a man what a man and then just look at him and say you can't tell you thank you for everything you do for our family you're my hero can I tell you what I'd run to the garage I grabbed a drill I grabbed a hand I will break something just to fix it laugh at his jokes we're idiots dad's we're the dads at every campus dad's we're yeah dad's there you are right there we tell stupid jokes laugh at our jokes don't ridicule us I look at my kids I'm like hey you know the first french fries weren't cooked in France they were cooked in Greece you know the Secret Service has a new plan for the president whenever he's under attack they can't anymore say hey get down they say Donald Duck that made me laugh and I'm telling you right now every dad in here was like oh that's that's good they don't ever take nothing right that's that's funny just laugh at his jokes secret number two buckle your seatbelts he wants you to initiate sex last service some guys in back when a man and he wants you to be receptive when he initiates sex listen we're gonna talk about this in a very PG way so if you got kids in here please keep them in here I promise I'm not gonna make anybody blush but they need to hear this from a biblical perspective because they're hearing it in elementary school in junior high school in high school and if we don't get it back in the word it's gonna stay in the world so let's see how the word but here's what we know can I just tell you can I be real honest with your husband thinks about sex all the time anyway some you're like no but yeah according to scientific research the average man has a sexual thought at least once per minute every day you should see your faces the guys are like and the girls are like [Music] why do you think this says take every thought captive because we have a lot so give us something to think about be the object of his affection listen you have to work really hard on an affair why wouldn't you pour as much effort as you would on an affair into your marriage there's secret text there's money spent there's phone calls there's all kind of what if you did that for your marriage what if you sent your husband an envelope with a hotel room key in it and said meatman come I'm preaching good right now I'm trying to help you schedule romance have date night mate night some of your like I can't believe he's saying this I am squarely in the Word of God the Bible says you should be intimate often so me I've not taken notes at all and you're like hey write this down he's a man of God this is in the word he first Corinthians chapter 7 the husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs the wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agreed to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you give ourselves more ground I said that's weird afterward you should come back together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control listen you have to learn this stuff it's in the Word of God it's telling us how to do this and how to do it right I didn't even know the Bible talked about it read the Song of Solomon it'll make you blush but it's awesome this was God's idea by the way in case you're I wish we wouldn't talk about in church God created it he said it's good do you know what he said to Adam and Eve go be fruitful multiply really yes it's God's idea at what point did we allow the world to hijack it so ladies let me help you I understand that it can't always be yes because sometimes we're idiots I get it but if you have to say no say no with a caveat not tonight tomorrow morning the offering should go up this weekend guys I'm helping you but fellas listen respect that don't be like at 12:01 who you would turn those low jams you know calm down guys secret number three he wants you to know that you're his best friend and he wants you to see him as your best friend too he wants you to have great girlfriends he just wants to be your best friend listen guys we don't have a lot of deep deep friendships we got a lot of friends a lot of acquaintances a lot of golf buddies a lot of fantasy football friends we got a lot of buds but we don't we rarely go very deep with our friends but we want to go deep with you and we want to know hey I'm your best friend so don't look at your husband say hey we're friends but that's my best friend especially if it's somebody the opposite sex that is a problem if you have a best friend of the opposite sex you are in for a problem you're in for trouble you need to look at that person and say I'm sorry I have to get distance from but you're hurting me it's okay I'd rather hurt you than him I'd rather hurt you than her she is my best friend I'm preaching good right now yeah gonna get none of this stuff in Hollywood or popular culture secret number four he wants to feel appreciated this one's a little bit weird but according to Shanti Felda and I believe this she's a social researcher she said this most men would rather hear the phrase thank you than I love you because that's how we communicate when you look at us and you say thank you for the way that you provide for our family thank you for the hard work thank you for the effort and energy that you take to get home and play with the kids thank for helping me it I can't even tell you what it does to me my wife looks at me and says I love you but when she looks at me and says thank you it's a whole different ball game game fellas am i right is that is that good preaching I'm trying to help us right now okay this is good nobody taught me this stuff I thought it was I just thought it was a feeling here's what I want I want to tell you love is more than a feeling number two love is a commitment it's a commitment everybody say it's a commitment problem is we're too busy saying I do and we never realize we don't even know how because we followed the culture and the culture says hookup shack up break up repeat I'm preaching good and we'll check them out I'm gonna try them out but I'll work out my poem out we'll go to the wedding rehearsal but we've been in divorce rehearsal for years because of the way that we look at relationships you will spend one year planning a wedding and a lifetime building the habits and the patterns that will destroy the marriage we have to change the way we that we think we have to change the way that we think it's got to be the renewing of our mind number three and finally here's what I want you to know contrary to popular opinion contrary to what you'll find on websites love is not blind love is not blind it is love is blind no it's not in fact if it is blind that's dangerous because then you can't see the dysfunctions in that person because you're so obsessed with them that you will allow them to destroy your life and never even see it happening I've watched couples where love is blind and she's constantly attracted to someone who abuses her blind love is broken love I won't freaking good right now I'm trying to help you love is not blind and here's why because we think we know what is good and what is evil if I asked you right now do you know the difference between good and evil you would say yes but I would challenge that because the wisest man in the world Solomon prayed and he asked God he said God give me the ability to be able to discern between good and evil well that's weird if you're the wisest guy in the world why do you need discernment because it takes God to help you figure out what good because some of us what we think is good is not God and if it's not God it's not good if it's not God it is evil period I'm never gonna be a pastor who preaches for your applause I'm never going to be a pastor who preaches just to fill the seats I'm gonna be a pastor who preaches the truth of the word of God I didn't become a pastor to get friends I became a pastor to help you and the challenge is we have too many churches that are just trying to make you feel good and not actually helping you get Jesus at the center of your life you have to understand the difference between good and evil and you're gonna have to have God to help you with that because you think you know he thought she knew too this is the oldest trick in the book the enemy attacks you with temptation temptation is Satan asking for permission he tempts you and that's exactly what he did with Eve Adam and Eve standing at the tree the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil he tempts them he tells them all kind of lies mixed with a little bit of truth and here's what they do Genesis chapter 3 verse 6 when the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good everybody say good it was good for food pleasing to the eye also desirable for gaining wisdom these are all things we would say is good it looks good it sounds good it feels good it must be good and so she took some and she ate it she also gave some to her husband who was with her so it's just as much his fault he was he was right there with her he was strong and he was silent that's the problem you're either one or the other you the strong are you silent hmm and she ate something that was not good for her James chapter 1 verse 16 here's here's the here's the crux of everything don't be deceived my dear brothers and sisters every if I say every every good and perfect gift is from above every good and purpose listen to me look at me every good and perfect gift is from above what are you saying if it's not from God it's not good no matter what the world says about it no matter what your friends say about it no matter what your own desires say about it the first thing that we are asked to sacrifice when we follow Christ If any man would come after me let him deny himself what does that mean the things that I think are good the things that I want the things that I need the things that I think this is money here's what here's what the Bible says yield that to this yield that to the Word of God and the ways of God and God will begin to change your life from the inside out this is not popular and I'm ok with it you need this and when you begin to live God first it changes everything here's the challenge the enemy attacks when you're hungry and when you're thirsty can tell you this we've got a new Saint she thirsty hey hungry that means somebody wants something really really bad and the problem with that is thirsty lowers our standards when I'm a real thirsty I'll drink Pepsi I'm not knocking Pepsi but I'm a coke man but if I'm really really thirsty I'll drink something I don't even really like that I know may not even be good for me because thirsty lowers my standards if I leave Oreos in my house I will eat them good on the lips not good on the hips good on the eyes not good on it if it's not good for me why would I allow it around here's what I want you to know when you are thirsty you will fill with something I like to fish some of y'all been wondering what all this is for I love to fish I like to fish I like to catch and release I like to catch and release into hot grease I like it all I like it I like to eat fish I like to catch I'll go out and fish and not catch anything still call it a good day cuz I just like being out there and here's what I learned about bait its its fishing is a billion-dollar industry you spent all kind of money on own equipment or a boat and on lure and the whole point of the lure is to trick the fish is to make it think that it's something it's not this is exactly what the enemy does to you constantly look at me for the rest of your life he's throwing bait just to see if you'll take something just to see if you'll take something that is less than God's best for your life and if you're not careful you'll end up sitting in a relationship that God ever designed for you that God never called you to and you're wondering why am i so broken and listen if you're in a broken marriage here's what I want to tell you when you put that back in the hands of God he can fix anything but I'm trying to prevent some of you who are single from getting in that situation at all but I will tell you this even when you're married the enemy still thrown bait some of you'll recognize some of this stuff this this is what they call spinner bait and here's what this does see that big hook right there it's all colorful it looks like some kind of weird fish or something and then these things are real colorful and it just spins it just spit sue the work let's put it right reel faster spin and that's exactly what some y'all got caught with oh it's just a whirlwind relationship oh it's so amazing it's so colorful it is so fast you just can't believe it's so happy it's like we've zoomed from like here to there it's like we're already there it's Christmas some of you got caught by spinnerbait others of you you got caught by crankbait crankbait goes deep see this little spoon on the front end of it it makes it go down makes a little noise drops bass crazy it's better it just crankbaits goes deep and that's where some of y'all went I just so deep she's so deep I've never met somebody who just gets me just gets me and then they catch you and take you deeper and deeper and crank you further and further and further from the will and the ways of God in your life please don't take the bait this this right here is what they call a whopper butter because when you throw it in the water it pop makes a big noise attracts the best it's top water bait it's not even something that belongs in the water it's something that's just on the water for just a minute and then it's gone and you're like if I don't catch them right now they will never be here again I'll never have this opportunity again you don't understand how lonely I've been for so long it's like they don't even fit in the world and then all of a sudden they're so different some of you got hit the top water bait the enemy just threw something on the surface others of you can tell you this this is old school right here this is a frog like all the other stuff I don't even know what it is but this that's a frog it looks like a frog it's a problem she likes hits the water and the fish you like hmm ending you wait I hit it why did you like it they're like frogs some of you like frogs because you think once we kiss he'll turn into a prince and you're fixers and you're constantly attracted to broken people and you say things like I hope you don't understand I think God called me to him I think God called me to her I think I'm gonna be able to help them and I can tell you this you can't out Jesus Jesus God didn't call you to them he called them to him and you ought to have a standard in your life that says if they're not on fire for him they can't be on fire for me I'm preaching good on a Sunday don't take the bait don't kiss the Frog here's why because under there there's buried hooks and they'll catch you and pull you into a relationship and you won't even be able to define who you are anymore because you're so wrapped up in trying to fix them and then this one this one's quite possibly the most dangerous one this is the one this for the big fish this is marlin bait it's a big tuna bait you can pull this behind a deep-sea fishing vessel at 18 knots which is about 20 miles per hour and here's what happens a fish that's never been caught a big fish it's this one because he thinks he's smart right I've been around a long time been married for thirty years been married for forty years never made a mistake we've had a great relationship the enemy is still fishing for you that's why it's important that you constantly stay close to Jesus you constantly keep your relationships healthy because if you're not careful he's constantly throwing bait for you too because he wants the big fish just as much as he wants the small fish here's what the Bible says and I'll close with this here's what the bottle says Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18 do not get drunk with wine for that as debauchery but be filled with the spirit there's a principle here I'm not talking against drinking this is a principle here he's saying listen if you're not filled with the spirit you'll be filled with something if I'm not filled with you want to you want to know how to have a good relationship stop being thirsty stop being hungry all the time thirst for the Word of God and you will be filled why do you think when Jesus encountered the woman at the well he looked at her and he said you've had a bunch of relationships and the one that you're in right now you're not married to him and he said but I can give you water you'll never thirst again when I'm filled with the spirit I don't have to be thirsty because I can be full even in a hard marriage even in the challenging space I don't know many of you might be thinking but you don't understand pastor you don't understand my relationships and all the failures I've had and it's just been hard guess what it was hard for me too marriage is hard period when we got married I never dreamed that abuse would enter our relationship my wife had been abused since the age of four I had no idea I didn't know any of that she'd never even called it abuse because it was normal and all these years she was abused and then she introduced abuse into our marriage I know what it is to be punched in the face can I tell you this I wish I was a better man I never punched her I never hit her back I don't even know what to do but when she screamed and hollered at me in custome you know what Pastor did screamed and hollered and cussed right back do you know why God set you why because when I was 24 years old I was full of myself and she was full of herself and neither one of us were filled with the spirit neither one of us were full to overflowing with what God could do and I was saved and she was saved but we weren't full I was looking for someone to please me and make me happy and fulfill all of my wants my dreams my hopes and desires and she was looking for the same thing and all of a sudden it collided and it was a train wreck we had two kids in two years and I'll never forget the day she left me and we were separated and we passed the kids back and forth for 27 months but during that time I want to extend it fast she wanted on the extended fast I got deep in this book right here and I begin to get fill with the spirit and she began to get filled with the spirit and here we are nineteen years later got a great marriage got five kids got five campuses and a growing church don't tell me God can't take something broken and make it beautiful you got to give it to him you got to make him first and not you first in most marriages it's you first then them then him what have we changed that and said God you first tell me I'll trust you I know it's not gonna be easy I know it's gonna be hard I trust you if you'll come every weekend of this six-week series I promise you on the end of this thing I've seen God restore marriages that were absolutely broken we have had divorced people come to this series and get remarried and have babies and have happy lives when I'm standing right over here and he helps on our team and he's hired on our staff now and they were divorced when they came trust me when you get Jesus at the center it changes everything let me pray for you lord I thank you for each and every person under the sound of my voice I pray that right now in this moment you would help us to yield to you help us to yield our hearts our lives our minds to your will and not what the culture says God it's not helped us at all but your word has so many principles that when we deny ourselves we take up a cross we follow you it changes everything with nobody looking around in any of our campuses right now here's what I want to ask you if you know if you know I'm empty I'm not full but I want to be full here's what the Bible says when you acknowledge him he will acknowledge you when you begin this journey you continue on this journey you can have worse circumstances in the world and still be full but it begins with you saying I'm empty and I want to change if that's you nobody looking around just put your hand in here and say that's me I want to be full thank you hands all over the room every campus just lift them up thank you thank you thank you thank you here's what I want us to do right before our campus pastors come I want anybody to go when we close this service we're gonna take an offering we give you an opportunity to give we're going give you some next steps and we're gonna celebrate a little bit at every campus but right now here's what I want us to do I want us to pray you pray out loud with me lift your voices and pray this Jesus I trust you with my life I believe you're the Son of God that you died and rose again so in this moment right now I'm coming to you and I'm asking forgiveness for all of my sins I believe that you are the Savior you are the Messiah so in this moment I yield my life to you and I'm asking you Jesus to be the Lord of my life in Jesus name Amen come on let's give him an ovation of worship stay right where you are campus back to Joe come up

Channel: Hope City

Views: 59,635

Rating: 4.9406362 out of 5

Keywords: Jeremy Foster, Houston, Hope City, Hope, Christianity, Jesus, HILLSONG, hillsong worship, hillsong united, elevation, elevation worship, transformation church, mike todd, carl lentz, kanye west, sunday service, hillsong nyc, who is jesus, how to understand God

Id: RgjsEfmh8nI

Length: 45min 59sec (2759 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 21 2019