David Letterman on Later with Bob Costas, January 12, 1989, Unedited

they played the Pistons in Detroit was close it was within the league was in the same conference I think was an Eastern Conference matchup da yeah you tell me whatever you want to do thank you very much do what sir the promos promos at Aon his own show I'll be staying up later cop okay very quiet please all here's good news like you haven't seen enough of me already I'll be staying up later with Bob cus please clear the set well that guy sounds cranky all right here here's a good idea I'll be staying up later with Bob kasas like you you haven't seen enough of me already tonight see you later no photographers you said no goddamn photographers clear the set no it's not really a photographer it's Al so did you go out with AA instead after the show last night get yikes a nice overbite that AA had I didn't notice that I thought very had a very pleasant presence and and uh and nice legs a good sport yeah you know something's gone hideously wrong when you have to refer to someone as gez thanks for being such a good sport you know there's been may you know something's hideously wrong when the guest list for a show is me first and then was not was that's that's a little weak 10 seconds whoa wait a minute 10 seconds me by surprise Jesus Christ I hate this no you don't I do I'm nervous as hell yeah you are Pixies all right pixie boy boy check the crew list oh God thanks for staying up later I'm Bob C you're pretty nervous right I don't this is unpleasant for me not because it's you it's just unpleasant for me as are most aspects of my life just generally speaking you're you're a depressed and no I wouldn't say depressed I just think some people are born to not be as happy as other people and you know like up with people those are really happy people I I am not that happy new Christy minstrels yeah sort of sister groups yeah right what's the happiest you ever are uh that will happen when the tape stops rolling for this show well let see if we can speed it up we play it at a different speed and just get him the hell out of here in five or six minutes it has nothing to do with you by the way yes it does it nothing to do with you no because I've I've liked you for a long time uh I don't know why but I'm just a little jumpy just a little jumpy today is there anything we can do to calm you down yeah oh of course there is but uh perhaps we should keep moving I think we probably should does your mom still feel that what you do as just a few notches above Carnival worker mom thinks I am with the circus mom has has not seen the show uh which is fine with me mom has a normal American life and doesn't stay up till till 12: or in this case even even an hour later so you know she calls from time to time to see how the receipts are doing and wants to know if we still work under the big top you know and uh so it's a little charade we both play and once the circus gets in a guy's blood it's not coming out oh sawdust in the veins yeah yeah yeah but it's it's more like the good kind of cholesterol so you don't really have to worry about it yeah when when you were a kid what did your mom and dad want you to be uh out of the house mostly yeah uh I don't know it was never discussed we never had career day at the Letterman house uh and and I think uh I don't know I just it was never discussed um I had a lot of trouble in high school and at one point they wanted to put me into a vocational training uh high school downtown where I would have been beaten up on a regular basis uh and uh it was just never discussed uh and then by the time I decided to move to California my my father had passed away so there was one less person to break the news to yeah so he missed something awful but so your parents provided a lot of guidance then in their own subtle no I had a great life I can't complain I think that uh my uh nurturing years were as good as anybody's but it just that we did not uh begin a day with well what are you going to make of yourself you know that that never came around what kind of kid were you in high school I was a young black boy enough yeah and uh sociologically speaking it's still baffling people uh I was I was uh you know like I am now except my my clothes were not as expensive and and this is really a pricey Ensemble I like this these are clothes that that I like yeah you never you never wear uh glasses on the air but I never see you off the air without glasses yeah no it's a it's a uh conceit to vanity uh I just uh uh I don't know I I'm more comfortable with them but I've gotten into the habit of not wearing them so on the show I don't uh don't wear them I I just feel like one of these days I'll just start wearing them because I would really rather wear glasses I think almost everyone looks better in glasses pretty much yeah so when you're in high school right how do you think the other kids regarded you were you everybody thinks that a guy who grows up to be a comedian was the class clown right not necessarily so though right I don't think so uh I know the class clown in my class I graduated from broad High School in 1965 I always like to mention that I graduated um as opposed to the equivalency diploma that's right uh but the class clown for us was a guy named Jerry Levy uh very very funny very demonstrative uh very peculiar uh kid and he and I would sit next to one another in almost every class because of the Le in both of our names U alphabetical order Bob and um and Jerry is the kind of guy who would do everything that uh you think of when you hear George Carlin describing the class clown that was Jerry uh you know he would set his shoes on fire he would uh make odd kind of bad digestive noises uh and was largely considered a loon uh and then I uh it was my uh uh goal or job in high school to help help Jerry get through with his tests he would copy all of my tests and he would uh copy all of my homework and stuff uh and but he truly was the class clown but essentially I would have a great idea uh and I would pass it on to to Jerry it would be something like Jerry pretend you're sick you know and then then Jerry would work on that and stick his finger down his throat actually get sick yeah uh and I don't know what became of him but he was uh a great source of entertainment for all of us how many of the kids you went to school with have written to you called you tried to rekindle friendships none really is that true can blame them you know what are we dealing with here I tell you the truth my sister still lives on Long Island where I went to high school right and she's always telling me about someone she bumps into in at the bakery shop and the guy says I loved your brother right and I remember the guy and he beat me up three or four times he hated me you I I I hear from people periodically and sometimes they will stop uh in New York if they're here on business or traveling through or a matter of extradition or whatever and uh it's always fun but it's always uh uh I'm a little nervous about it as you can imagine after not having seen some of these people for 10 15 20 years but uh I don't get a steady stream of do you remember me I'm the fat guy who used to sit next to you and Jerry Ley I don't I don't get a lot of that when you're growing up I'd like to keep it that way not after tonight when you were growing up uh in Indianapolis do you want to be a a comic or just somebody on TV in somebody on TV just somebody on TV and that's what I am Sal somebody on TV I was always fascinated by the notion of radio and television and in those days uh it was a a mystery how you got from being a guy a man or a woman to being a man or a woman on TV how did you do that and not many people did it and now of course it's the easiest thing in the world I mean everybody knows how to get on TV and well look at the Channel 7 Eyewitness News Team there I rest my case any anybody can get on TV Sam Champion doing the weather um this means a lot by the way to people in De Mo it doesn't it doesn't need to mean anything to the people in De Mo all they need to know is there is a guy here in New York City who is the best looking male human on the planet yeah Named Sam Champion doing the weather there's a guy on channel 2 doing the sports named Rock rot there you go there you go exactly and and you know you look back at uh at guys like uh oh Edward ruro you know that's that's not exactly Sam Champion uh you know Billy excitement with the news so it's uh I think it's gone downhill uh I forgot the question so did I you you started out speaking of being on a news team you're were a weatherman right I was the second string weatherman on a news team I did the weekend weather so a heartbeat away from being the regular we that's right and boy we had some scares um and I yeah and that's what I did I I got to learn all about TV actually working at at a TV station in Indianapolis when I was I started working there when I was like 20 uh when I was in College I had the the summer job as the relief announcer uh and then gradually um they could not control this people would have to go on vacation and I'd be penciled in to do like the weather or the morning news or any number of things and I was able to I held that job for like five or six years and learned virtually everything uh and as you know once you learn about television I mean it doesn't really change at any level uh the money if you're doing it properly the money gets a little bigger but the the techniques and so forth are pretty much rudimental and it was it was great it was great fun for me did you take the meteorological aspects of the job seriously well you know no I I didn't but in in Indiana and most places around the country there is a segment of the population who do take them seriously uh and and I used to to me the windchill factor was who cares it's either 40° or it's not 40° don't tell me it's 40° but the windshield means it's 80 below you know I don't know what that means it's not really 80 below the windshield Factor is just something that they invented so guys like Sam Champion could have a career um and then one day I got a call from somebody who was in in charge of warehousing soft drinks and on the strength of my forecast he had decide had decided to turn off the heater in the warehouse and and lost like 400 billion gallons of Diet Pepsi or something because it froze and exploded and killed some people oh God and and and on that note we're more than certain that you'll be staying up later and we go to the little Montage of your career oh god well that covered the youthful years I feel as if I've done a great historical service okay that's a bad sign what's that the producer has to come up and suggest something pump try try and pump some life into this bot do we do anything what uhen Freddy come up things are going particularly well yeah all right all right do we have any stuff of uh is there any stuff existing of you doing the weather uh there might be somewhere I I have a cassette that somebody sent me years ago yeah I think there's like 10 seconds of floating around yeah more or less all right I'm ready all right how good how good a standup comedian were you when you were doing that on a regular basis I was okay I was okay I I knew from the very beginning that I did not have the Constitution of a guy who was going to be doing two 3001 nighters a year that's very difficult work because you're in different places different parts of the country different physical setups uh and it's very very difficult so I I could do it and it was something that I knew I had to learn how to do and uh I did okay with it I got on The Tonight Show I got a a job uh with h a show that Mary Tyler Moore was doing so it's it it served me pretty well but then I knew that uh people really weren't interested in seeing me for any length of time if they were paying like 20 30 bucks a ticket I didn't really have you know if you're going to go see a standup comedian go see Gallagher you know because then you're going to get exploding fruit and you're going to get lasers and you're going to get dwarves and the the stage is going to be messy and you're going to be covered with slop and and and you'll get your money worth a full entertainment experience full yeah uh and and I don't mean that to sound demeaning all although I guess it does but I apologize it's a hell of a recommendation if people haven't seen Gallagher now they're they're you know leafing through the finding out when he's coming town but that's what people want to do if they're paying a sitter to look after the kids and they're paying for parking and they're going to go out for dinner you know they don't want a skinny little dorky guy like me standing up there saying hey hey did you see the Inquirer today about that diet you know they don't want that they want to see something explode they want to go home thinking gez we we got our money's worth and and plus I have some Gallagher debris on me you know but but then there are guys like who aren't gimy like Jay Leno Jerry Seinfeld just go out and do good material on the the difference between those two guys and myself uh they're far more prolific these guys early on made a commitment to this and they're very bright and and very very funny and and know that uh they're good enough to be really really successful at it I kind of came into it backwards I had the television background first uh and knew that if I wanted to uh get anywhere with that I needed something else uh but the difference between the two gentlemen you mention in myself is they can continue to turn out really really solid material uh and and my my standard response to a club owner when I would work someplace the guy would say we'd like you to do 40 minutes I would say what about 38 you know I just like just shave any time off I I could uh and usually that was the audience response as well did you have an idea in your head some vague idea about what it was you did best I still don't you know I'm good with good with my hands sort of woodworking like shop class sure making Tire irons and little stools uh I don't know I I don't no no I never had a I knew that I just wanted to be in television or or even radio and uh that's what I enjoyed doing the most when you got the morning show on NBC that wound up being canceled you were doing a lot of the same sort of thing that eventually was very successful in late night and for reasons that probably had to do more with the time slot than your performance the show failed did that make you think that maybe you couldn't do it did you come into the late night thing with with a lot of uh a lot of anxiety I'm sorry I wasn't listening good uh nor were most of the people out there no it's uh it was the the the morning show let me make it more direct and that way your mind won't wander coming off screwing up on the morning did you think you sucked and you'd go down the drain late night yeah well I mean anytime in in Show Business uh television and so forth you don't know your one shot may be it so after the morning show was canceled I I really didn't know and it was a a great period of anxiety for me and uh fortunately I was very very lucky I have been as lucky as anybody can get in in Show Business and television because I got another chance and and the morning show was was largely kind of an on theair audition because we we had many obstacles to overcome not the least of which was the the time period as you suggested but a lot of stuff we came to New York ready to do that show thinking we had all of the answers and like Tuesday after we had gone on the air we realized we didn't have hardly a clue so it was if anybody had watched the show from the first day to the day we were canceled and and I find that hard to believe um that they could do that I think they would have seen a really strange kind of experimental Evolution that might have been in some respect pleasing and in some respect disgusting or embarrassing um but after it folded I was worried that I'd never get another shot although that show represented the first time anybody recognized the comedic Genius of Edwin Newman Ed Newman was great I can I can remember it was Fred Silverman's dream to put together a family of people uh on the show uh and uh we got Ed human as our newsman and I didn't had never met him before uh caught him a couple of times looking in my windows but that was really my only exposure dad so to speak and he came on interesting choice of words in that scenario he was and still is a very bright man a very witty man and and uh I think in that context as limited as the exposure was the people in the studio audience felt a real warmth and and took quite a liking to the guy and and it was he was always a plus for us when the list of pluses was pretty short talking about time slots could your show move an hour earlier could your show move into tonight's show slot and be successful so you're talking about at 11:30 have two shows simultaneously it would be our Show and The Tonight Show I don't know techology there yeah they have the split screen technology why not I give it a shot I don't have all the answers why not um I don't know this is a question uh that people pose from time to time you never know I mean uh I think if this show were to move to an earlier time period You' just have to start you know playing with it and see what worked and what didn't work and throw out the stuff uh that worked and keep the stuff that didn't work or or however that happens but would you be will would you be willing to do that you might have to modify what you do so much in order to expand the audience or appeal to you know to The Wider group that doesn't watch you now that you might wind up doing something different oh sure I I think that uh sure I uh it would be uh a desire of mine and I think the people uh that we've been working with and we we've been really fortunate in that we've had a lot of really good people with us and and the turnover is well not it is on this show um so we've we've been really lucky in that sense and I think everybody would see that as an interesting Challenge and also maybe more than that they I think we'd all just kind of like to be considered for that position not not we're not saying give it to us but just you know we'd like to be on the list of of people who might be in contention you talk to Carson at all Beyond when you're on his program uh I've talked to him a few times I have talked to him a few times and it's it's one of the strangest um most nerve-wracking experiences of my life because you pick up the the phone and it's Johnny Carson and you think no no it's not really Johnny Carson it's somebody doing Johnny Carson uh and I've actually been to his house a few times uh and what's the furniture like it's beautiful it's jeez it's a lot like this um it's uh it's you know here's a it's it's like suddenly you know you see you pull out a $5 bill and who's on the $5 bill Lincoln is that who it is it's been so long since I've seen a five um and you you so you see him he's there on the five you see him day in and day out and day in and day out and you grow up with him and he's always there well for me Carson was like that in addition to being really important to my career and also to the careers of anybody in comedy and then suddenly you see him face a face and it's like oh my God it's it's the guy on on the $5 bill it's the guy you see on The Tonight Show every night it's Johnny Carson and I've I've never been able to feel comfortable with a man he's been very gracious to me uh very nice we even played tennis one day at his home uh well you got to see this place it's it's more like an Olympic venue than a home really um and but I don't think that I could spend every minute of of my life from now on with Johnny Carson I don't think I would ever get over that sense of a I mean if you look at what the guy's accomplished just in sheer time that he's put in and not just put in he's dominated for a quarter of a century and we've been on the air seven years and if that stands by itself it looks pretty impressive you put it next to Carson's record it's spit on the windshield or something like that yeah you know you got there are a lot of young comedians that feel pretty much the same way now about you that your generation growing up felt about Carson they're going to look to you for some kind of stamp of approval there are people that might work on your show might not on Carson so the ultimate stamp of approval is to come on your show and hope that you like them yeah let me just say a word here about young comedians we don't need anymore there should be some kind of a cut off there should be like a moratorium for 10 years don't go into comedy I I don't want to be bothered by these guys I don't want to see them around I don't want to worry about somebody breathing down my neck I want like 10 years of free breathing easy sailing so it's it's generous attitude a man who remembers his roots and doesn't turn his back on them that's that's right that's right uh I think Sophocles said it best when he said screw them um no it's it's just that in in comedy like everything else there are a lot of people doing it and only a handful that are really very good and and I think that that's just you know the way of life is it hard for you if someone you worked with at the comedy store or the Improv calls you or calls your agent and says hey I was friends with Dave I want a shot and your best professional judgment is can't do it well it has happened and I guess it happens everybody who who has a a television Outlet I guess it's happened here happens everywhere uh no people are doing me a favor when they come on here I'm not doing them a favor by inviting them well I think you you take a look at it and if in fact you were friends with a person you give them a shot and then after that they're on their own and when we have comics on the show we're looking for somebody to blow the roof off the place because Lord knows I can't do it so we're looking for a guy to come on and just boom just Electrify the crowd so people think we saw the greatest new comedian last night on wherever you see him that's what we're looking for and so you bring your friends in and if they can do it great that that makes everything uh solid if if they can't do it you know it might be a while before they came back and and it's very difficult and I I always feel sad uh it makes me sad but it's again I think if you give them one shot then the rest is up to them who haven't you had on the show not necessarily Comics who you'd like to have well that's that's one of those questions I um that seems like it would be easy to answer and it's not we've had pretty much everybody uh that you ever would hope to have on you know there are a few that uh you're never going to get but it's not like we're we're really pining away to have a particular guest because we think oh this will be wonderful uh it's usually a guest that you have no expectation from that comes on and proves to be a real Delight that uh the guy who keeps coming to my mind as as U probably a real all-purpose guest as art art Donovan uh not because he's a big kind of goofy looking guy which of course he is uh it's just that he will sit down and talk about anything with a great deal of enthusiasm uh he's colorful he's demonstrative and you can talk to him about anything and get some energy out of it uh so when you come across a guy like that you you know that you've got something pretty special who came out there and you said we wanted to get this guy or this woman this is going to be great and they just stunk in addition to yourself yeah um geez I don't know we and the easy lines are always the best those those fat fast balls you can't resist uh I don't know it it can happen on any given night any any person you think might be great can disappoint you anybody think might be average can can be exciting I I don't have a a list to answer that question I'm sorry didn't you say once though Andy Rooney had a hard time with Andy Rooney I had a hard time with Andy Rooney but in looking back on it I think it was more my problem really than anything he did uh he was like a very early guest uh on one of the maybe the second week of shows uh and I was just a kid who had gone from thinking I had all of the answers to having that show canceled to suddenly back on the air replacing Tom Snider who I thought always did a really good job uh so I was really nervous and and intimidated by a lot of people and I think were he to come on the show now it it would be a far different story in the beginning I mean after that happened it was easy for us to blame his attitude for the reason that the interview didn't go well but but now I kind of Welcome an attitude good or bad you know uh we we get a lot of guests in Show Business who you know you wonder if they even have a pulse let alone an attitude so I can't really say that he was a bad guy guess I think it was me doing a bad job with him so if a Shirley mlan or a share clearly is annoyed with you is part of you saying oh geez I I don't want someone not to like me but another part saying this is good TV well I don't know if I would ever be silly enough to say uh it it's good TV although you had no trouble saying it um yeah I get a little annoyed but I would take that any day over a guy a man or a woman who feels like the purpose of his or her appearance is to you know like we're putting him in the Hall of Fame like it's an homage to this person uh yeah I would much rather have Shirley mlan or Sher or somebody come on a little feisty you know because then it's it's a departure from the I hear your new movie is Sensational and I think it's great that you were an elephant girl in a previous life you know good gig you know that kind of stuff so I would take that Shirley was an elephant girl in a previous life right and a damn good one yeah now did you have any conversation with her afterwards or was she gone and you're still doing the show no she she was out and she was gone it was a little disturbing uh in fact we looked at it the other night uh because we're considering part of that for the anniversary show uh and again at the time it was my perception that she was being difficult on the other hand having looked at it again it seems like an argument could be made that that I just didn't uh use the proper judgment and dealing with her but uh at the time I wanted to swat her but if you wanted to swat Shirley mlan you'd have to wait in line wouldn't you what was it what was it about her that just irked you I I'll tell you exact exactly uh here's a woman who would not talk to us before the show usually the guests will talk to our talent people and we'll put together an outline uh nothing more than four or five areas of things that they might want to talk about uh and it's not scripted and it's just to help them and to help me uh Shirley was too busy to do that and although she claimed to have done it in a previous life but we couldn't find those notes uh so that that kind of annoyed us that she wouldn't help out there because we we really want people to come off as as strongly as they possibly can so that annoyed us a little bit going in and then we put together uh questions about her movie which she wanted to mention obviously and also about a major portion of her life which is this past life stuff and future lives and she's written books and been in films and on and on and on about this and we thought that that was fair enough and then when presented with that information she decided she didn't want to talk about any of it and at that point you want to reach over and say well you know why didn't you answer the phone at the hotel this afternoon we could have talked about anything you wanted to talk about uh but of course the rub there is the audience at home shouldn't need to worry about that that's not their responsibility that's our little problem you know sometimes you can deal with it sometimes I I have less patience for it when you ask share I remember this very distinctly apparently you tried to get share on the show for a while and now she comes on you say how come you'd bed and she says because I thought you were an [ __ ] okay and you were definitely taken back and a little wounded by that yeah what did you see in her eyes at that point well what I was thinking at the time in all honesty was wait a minute here's a woman who was married to Sunny Bono she's calling me an [ __ ] um and then also I thought later she's also she has a tattoo on her body she's never seen so figure out where that might be uh did she used to date Mark gasto yeah it did I guess my uh I'm still naive enough to to to take that at face value and I was a little wounded by it and then I thought later well you know what are you being a baby about this for so I got over it in a couple of weeks is there any is there any validity to the charge that sure this guy's funny but sometimes for the sake of being funny he's going to hurt people unnecessarily either make celebrities uncomfortable which is one thing or take everyday people who are defenseless and really make them look like fools yeah I I mean if if that is a perception then you have to assume that there is some legitimacy to it it's never our intent uh and and my reaction and I think that reaction of of most people who are trying to do a comedy show is if you see an opportunity to make a joke well you know use your judgment follow your instincts and do it and and sometimes and I guess with my particular uh demeanor or uh personality people look like they that looks to people like I'm picking on them or making fun of them and especially in the beginning we got I got a lot of heat for that uh and it it bothered me because it sure was not my purpose to get a show so I could make people feel uncomfortable um but uh so I I I try to be careful about that now but I think in in the realm of celebrities gez anything goes yeah are there ever times though when when you say I could have been nicer to that person gez I regret that yes sure I mean almost on a nightly basis I have regrets not necessarily about that but I think of things I perhaps should have handled it this way or handled it that way yeah uh I I think if if you don't have regrets it it it means that you're doing something really wrong I mean you can only learn uh by identifying something that might have been a mistake and then working toward improving that or correcting yeah what do you think is better about the show now than two three years ago what where has it evolved to well I think the color has improved on it yeah the technology we're down to that half inch videotape and it's wonderful um what is better about the show jeez you know I can't answer that question uh I that's that's a question that somebody with a little more objectivity would have to discuss I I don't know we hope that it's better we try to make it better each night uh it's interesting you you just never know this is what troubles me you just never know where the obstacles might present themselves and you never know how different the obstacles can be from previous obstacles but that really should be a given the the part that troubles me about that is still when I get a new obstacle I may be thrown by it you would think after all these years that drop almost anything in the road and and I can circumnavigate but I'm still amazed at stuff just drops out of the sky and brings things to a screeching halt but you have the kind of feel on on the show where if everything really goes wrong it sort of fits in so what if the camera all a sudden tilts up and starts spinning around in circles or the desk collapses so what yeah that that would be good but sometimes you would be surprised that will will throw me uh and something happened the other night even before we uh turned on the the videotape which which threw me I go up into the audience for a couple of minutes just to say a lot of the people before the show uh and I always do that just so I can kind of feel are they happy or they depressed are they hurry to get home in a hurry to get home are they you know are they up are they down uh and uh just a minute before they rolled the tape I see a woman in the audience with binoculars looking at me and I thought this is unusual I haven't seen this in seven years and I said excuse me ma'am you're not a sniper are you a small laugh from the audience and she said no um I have a disability still thinking that this was a line to pursue I said what is it you're nearsighted and she says no I'm blind please don't make fun of my disability I have to live with it and now ladies and Gentlemen The Comedy star of our show baboom she said it just like that please don't make fun of my disabil don't make fun of my disability and rightly so um so the a chill goes through the audience talk about a wind chill uh and then we had to start the show and this troubled me uh for two reasons one that I had been insensitive although inadvertently insensitive and two it just the audience you know you could see them Gathering their belongings wanting to get out you know like it's uh so that was that was tough and I thought why couldn't I have after all these years handled that a little bit better you know but it plagued me through in fact it was the the show you were on yeah so pretty much you're hit with a double whammy two seconds before you go on this lady makes his comment then the first guest is me and you know this isn't going to the Smithsonian yeah although I did think later and I know this is going to sound awful no I won't even say that no go ahead no I I no I can't say it because then it would only compound the first mistake go Ahad I'm not going it'll get it out of your don't make me hit you it'll be a catharsis has anybody ever tried to hit you when you go out there let's say you're Mr curious you're on a street and you just want to look inside somebody's briefcase anybody ever haul off and pop you I have been punched a couple of times in the office which I find really discouraging uh the only time that I felt that I was in uh i' I've seen a look in people's eyes where I thought maybe they wanted to punch me one was Oliver Reed is that the guy yeah he he was uh I hope it was Oliver Reed uh he was Goofy I think it was Willis Reed wasn't it and the other one was a guy named crisen Glover who who uh I they both had that look in their eyes like you know the the circuits have shut down I'm going to do something now that will require a lot of therapy uh and uh I thought I was going to get it both times how about when Jane Seymour came on remember that time Jane Seymour is is the Paragon of gracious living and she's going to show you her book of Old Country Homes and how you prepare a nice breakfast when you live in a castle that cost $13 million and you weren't up for that and she wasn't able to return service either well that you know that was I think our again our mistake because uh that's the kind of thing although unspoken there's no real policy about it we we sort of would would like to get away from that's fine she's a wonderful woman a very nice lady and if she wants to write a book and show you photos of how glamorous her life is that's just great you know more power to her but I just you know I don't know I I'm not fascinated by ways that she makes her life more glamorous I don't really care you know I I hope the book was a huge success but uh so from that standpoint I think it was probably again our mistake for having her her on who's come on the show where you just felt an almost childlike awe about the person I see that sometimes with you and athletes yeah some yeah sometimes especially if it's if it's a guy that I uh an athlete that I grew up kind of admiring um childlike awe you know I I never had that even when I was a child so I don't I don't know that it would be applicable here but uh sometimes I you know I tell you the most interesting thing I've ever seen on the show we had um was it Gaylord Perry yeah spitball guy who's the big knuckle baller oh Phil nro Phil nro yeah uh we've had both of them on the show as a matter of fact Phil nro was on and was going to demonstrate to me the knuckle ball not so much how to throw it because I've heard guys explain how to throw it for years years and never felt like it's anything I could do uh so Phil was going to throw one to me and so I I back off about 40 fet in the studio and I have a catcher's glove and uh Phil winds up and throws me like a half speed knuckle ball and uh I was stunned because it literally without any visible rotation was being propelled forward and it just kind of dropped into the mid and and became tough to handle uh or tough for me at any rate but I thought it was like looking at a magic trick was no spin on the ball and I thought geez if he can do this half speed and at 40t in the studio so that really impressed me it's pathetic that that impressed me that's an interesting choice of all the things that have happened on the show Phil nro's knuckler yeah well I mean I don't think that you would ever or the average person would ever be in in that position to to see truly the dramatic effect of what that is what makes Terry gar a good guest uh because uh she uh she finds me really annoying uh and she's no she doesn't she's crazy about you I I know about that I I think that the tergar is Money in the Bank almost in any format I enjoy her her acting I think she's a great actress and I think she's very very funny as a person and as a personality and and she seems to understand what people are looking for in a talk show guest uh I couldn't be F of her who found Larry Bud Melman uh when we started the show we hired a couple of writers who had done a student film I believe at NYU and they had found him and I'm not sure where they had put him into their student project and showed us these films and we kind of liked his presence and we started using him on on a real regular basis very early on how much of what's going on does he understand uh well I think you can't really safely apply the phrase what's going on to Larry there's nothing going on didn't Larry used to spend a lot of time with Marvin Gay before Marvin tragically passed on God he's a he's an interesting man a very interesting man and uh again has a presence almost regardless of what he does or what we ask him to do that people seem drawn to or enjoy or like about I I mean they they find him very likable uh and I don't know what it is he's very interesting to be around and a and a very nice guy and and had a rather interesting life in what way in ways that I really would feel uncomfortable discussing with without him being here uh he was raised by poodles I'll give you that uh in the wild wild of Beverly Hills the worst ones uh we had a an idea to send Larry on a I guess the idea was originally are we about out of time by the way we're just we're just going we're just going are you getting bored now Dave no I'm just tired of hearing myself talk uh America clamors for this I find that difficult to believe uh we were going to send him across country on a bus or something and then uh Steve O'Donnell our headwriter said why don't we send him uh to South America like a a Pan-American Goodwill tour and he would phone in various reports and we all thought that this was a a lovely idea because there would be Larry down there maybe with a a phone uh report two or three times a week and just see how he was responding to various cultural influences and uh the thing just from the very beginning was uh a debacle they left on a Friday night and in a big mobile home with a a plywood sign a fix to the side of the mobile home and there they're blowing down the New Jersey Turnpike at about 60 and aerodynamics being what they are this huge plywood sign is rested from the side of the vehicle and goes sailing through the night down the highway behind them uh they pulled over and and phoned the show and said we we think we may have decapitated some people this is like 45 minutes into his panamerican Goodwill tour uh and nothing ruins Goodwill like Highway Mayhem yeah you know uh and a few deaths early establish a tone that's hard to overcome it really is it stays on your record and then from that it just got to be it was silly it was like Larry thought that the purpose of this trip was a vacation for him and would we please stop bothering him and and it just it gradually I mean you could almost pull him out of the lounge he was there with babes and stuff and not we could have lived with that but uh it was uh we we would talk to Larry on the phone and it would be like uh um insurgents had burst into his hotel room and clubbed him to near death I mean he just had no Spirit no enthusiasm no energy and you say Larry it's it's a show just for eight seconds on the phone pick it up a little bit no and every time we called him he wanted to come home I I think his finest moment outside of when he portrayed the late great Roy Orbison which was truly shocking I think he did a very nice job incredible incredible and and really nice effect delivering the line Mercy but I think his finest moment is as Larry the big man Melman yeah Larry the big man we put him in this costume and rolled him out and uh yeah it was an interesting look will we see more of that inquiring M want to know no we we finally uh dis dismembered dismantled the the Big Man suit and and gave it away one night we we try and turn things over fairly frequently this is important to me what's happened to Arie Barnes how come you don't call him an Omaha anym oh jeez you know I hadn't thought about Arie Barnes Arie Barnes I'm not even sure how we came across him but he was a a guy I think we just got out of the the White Pages for the Omaha telephone directory and we would chat with Arie a couple of times a week Arie was great to me uh that's a um I think if you wanted to try and and describe or document sort of the feeling that we've all been looking for and putting together a show like this it it that would be an important piece of it get a guy in Omaha who's never been on television knows nothing about television in a meat packing that's right worked in a meat packing plant 19 20 years old very nice guy and and put him on the air and and uh again people I think were were taken by that I I don't want to engage here in a lot of needless self flattery but I I think that people sort of like that and and and that kind of thing is is uh what pleases us when we can accomplish it I I thought your writers or you captured him perfectly when you had the list of the differences between Arie Barnes and the average American average American's favorite quotation Give me liberty or give me death and Arie Barnes was something like don't let your meat loow for right or whatever that's right I'm at a real disadvantage here Bob because I don't watch the show so I don't a lot of these things you don't go home and watch your I watch it I will watch it in in the office if I if I feel like I have really screwed up something uh I'll go upstairs and watch it uh and here lately I've been watching it every night uh but you know you you can kind of tell if it goes okay and if it doesn't go okay I want to go up there and find out where it was I screwed it up and can I prevent it again so if you're up at 12:30 what are you doing watching Joe Franklin I'm I'm rarely up at 12:30 hot glass of milk classic sleep after the 11:00 it's just you know I'm I'm getting some age on me now and and I need all the sleep I can get uh so I uh I'm not up usually at 12:30 we'll be back it's the longest half hour of my life well it's actually longer we tricked you we only need one we only need one more segment yeah it's very short we need a we need a top of a top that just says why we're here tomorrow night has a special segue into like uh Paul was Paul was just here and asked him a few questions about Paul stop dead and do the good nights and he's out of here in six or seven minutes you got it stop dead do the good nights yeah I we'll just I okay hope this hasn't been too painful no I just at one point I got a sense that I was talking an awful lot just talking well especially when you hear yourself talking about things that you might have been asked before you know do you want to talk about Bryant H talk about Bryant you want to talk about Bryant up to you all right if you want to talk about yeah okay I mean unless you have something I it's okay with me what Bryant open tomorrow night is the sth anniversary special I need keep all this stuff straight with you there wasn't much to keep straight I mean the very the the cameras and you do you do it isol everything's isolated right for the most part sometimes I sneak a glance to see if that's in position ready thanks for staying up later first things first David Letterman's 7th anniversary special tomorrow night in prime time what time 9:30 I believe it's an hour and a half tomorrow what sort of Thrills can we expect same old crap by and large so it's a must set set those VCRs kind of a compendium of crap yeah it's I don't know we uh uh you look at the stuff and some of it is fun to see again we we uh uh each year try and include more new stuff than old stuff but then you look at some of the old stuff you think well it's the kind of thing people might be interested in seeing one more time it's a very difficult process uh a lot of people spend a lot of hours pulling the videotapes and then the hard part is just looking at it over and over and over again and once you've seen it once or twice suddenly you think why did we even bother getting this off the shelf so it's it's difficult now what's your equivalent of Ed Ames throwing his Tomahawk on Johnny's show well I guess um you know I had to have an answer for this um um attaching yourself to the wall with velcro lowering yourself in Alka-Seltzer tablets something like that I don't think it has yet achieved the notoriety that the Ed Ames clip has its place in Destiny you know I don't think we're close to that yet when an anniversary show approaches is there an avalanche of mail show me this show me that I don't think we ever get what you could describe as an avalanche of mail so the full week's mail bag is the five or six that get on on on mail yeah that's right there's usually one left over uh looking for a recipe or something uh no I don't I don't think we get a lot of mail around anniversary time I don't you just it's it's hard to judge you just don't know how much of it people want to see again and how much new stuff they would like to see you just you have no way of knowing so you're left to your your own instincts and uh it's it's it's difficult and and uh but we always try to make it a really solid representation of the show does Bryant Gumble send a congratulatory wire or a card no we we haven't heard from Brian I haven't haven't actually seen Briant in uh in quite a while I saw a great deal of from Korea on the Olympics um and thought he did a great job uh thought you did a great job as a matter of fact but I haven't spoken to Brian what would happen if you and he were coming opposite directions down a narrow hallway right now you think you might just look at one another and say this has been so stupid well I see I don't even think it's at at that level I uh I've always had a lot of respect for what he does on on The Today Show and even before that when he was in sports and stuff so I I I'm inclined to like what he does uh professionally and and I think he knows as I know that the whole thing is silly um this little Feud you know I think he understands that it's a game I don't think he takes it seriously uh I don't take it seriously I think it's great fun uh and I think he probably thinks it's great fun I I just can't believe that he would you know really be annoyed or irritated by any of this so you think his tongue is in his cheek when he says I don't like him I think he's a jerk yeah I yeah I think so to me that's comedy yeah it's it's uh I think it's a little like big time wrestling I I mean uh he uh his producer asked us to interrupt their show their prime time today show uh he he was in the meeting when it was discussed when we would interrupt the show so he knew all about it uh and if you watched his show the prime time today show you couldn't tell that we had done anything the the only impact was on our show where we had the cameras looking at them and so you could see that we had interrupted another show so he knew all about it and uh the damage to his show was was and what we interrupted there was a a rather sacred interview with Don Johnson and Philip Michael whomever so yeah um and it's been so many years that I have to believe that if he were taking all of this seriously uh that that would suggest a pretty silly man and and I don't think he he is a silly man so can we look forward to something like that moment when Sinatra I guess it was brought Martin and Lewis together and your eyes meet across the state in some magic television moment and and you Embrace and all of America feels this sense of relief and a great Warm Glow yeah I mean if that's what you're interested Bob seeing me and Bryant Embrace sure I think we can arrange that would would you like to do it right here on this program could that I'll do it anywhere could that be I mean I think it's been a great deal of fun I think he knows it's been a great deal of fun and and I and I don't care if there is ever any kind of public settling of this or private settling of this I know he's not taking it seriously and I certainly don't take it seriously speaking of great moment on television what's your idea of good TV see again here's one of these questions that uh I ought to have an answer for I I like um you know the U monster truck racing I like that on ESPN car crushers that kind of stuff I could watch that hour upon hour I think that's that's what television is that's what television ought to be we're Americans we want it we love it we can't live without it little wrestling perhaps wrestling exactly I love wrestling Bobby the brain hean and Gorilla Monsoon Bobby The Brain Heenan is from Indianapolis Indiana uh my home City yeah and uh Bobby was involved in in wrestling in Indianapolis he was uh in in the era of Dick the Bruiser who in the midwest you couldn't get a better known wrestler than dick the bru true you knew him I guess from uh and and we would go to the matches periodically they'd always have a big uh Thanksgiving card that's the kind of thing you want to top off a family day Turkey and cranber and then let's go watch the iron Chic decapitate Hulk Hogan real Courier and IES kind of stuff and we would go to these things and Bobby The Brain even then I thought it was a real Touch of kind of Genius I mean he was from Indianapolis uh Dick the Bruiser I think was from Indianapolis but always was introduced as from Reno Nevada the world's most dangerous wrestler and I thought gez I wish I could be known as the world's most dangerous anything and by the way how do you prove that you know um but Bobby the The Brain Heenan who was not Bobby The Brain in those days was actually a wrestler uh little puny guy that he is and he always had himself introduced as being from Beverly Hills and uh the the the wrestling crowd on Thanksgiving night I mean you couldn't have said anything more irritating to these people than to have this little weasel this little bleach blonde geek coming into the ring as having been from Beverly Hills and all that that would possibly suggest and I I thought uh in those days I pi predicted big things for Bobby big deal and what a talent scout you turned out to be you know the single most terrifying phrase though in wrestling is when a Grappler is announced as being from Parts Unknown o that sends a chill down my back you know what kind of background does this guy have they used to be doesn't even have a green card this guy used to be a guy called The Masked Terror and he was from Parts Unknown yeah yeah it was uh pretty exciting in those days but you there's a whole generation of us and we look to you to carry our Banner who honestly believe that a real good half hour of TV is reruns of Home Run Derby H The People's Court My Three Sons yeah Nick at Knight is pretty much my favorite my favorite Channel yeah they're doing some pretty interesting things there and I found here lately also I guess on the the Disney Channel they rerun Azie and Harriet and that's very easy to watch and very entertaining yeah they're very appealing people uh the phrase that I remember from Home Run Derby uh whoever was doing the the announcing of that and and it was something that name was Mark Scott I think a guy would drill a shot to the wall in Home Run Derby and he said anywhere else in America that would be a solid base hit but here on Home Run Derby it's a long out y That's right home run or nothing here on Home Run Derby remember they would they would interview the guy who wasn't up so Duke Snider would hit one home run and then Willie May had come up and he'd say duke I guess you've seen a lot of Willie in regular games why well yes I have we play all the time sometimes at the polar ground sometimes at EV field yeah there's a leag for this kind of thing yeah pretty entertaining and black and white film I believe it was shot on yeah yeah where' you find Schaefer well that that's not the question he was already a well-known guy what made you select Schaefer well he was uh our our only choice really he uh we found out early on when we were putting the nighttime show together that he was available and that he was interested and we said that's it you got it I mean I I knew enough of his background I knew more about him I guess as uh as somebody who really was good at comedy somebody was very funny I knew less about him musically but the combination of the two we felt like uh this is the guy no more calls uh and he continues to be from my from my perspective uh night in and night out the best part of the show I mean he's very important to me the band is very important to me and even if everything goes horribly wrong on the show at least I know the audience has heard really nice exciting live music in the studio unfortunately on on the show at home they don't get to hear as much of them as as yeah they play hard driving stuff just before you come on that picks the audience up regardless as uh to what happens it always makes me feel better to you know I just like their presence I like their music and and uh if he were to decide to leave the show uh I'm not sure that you know I I don't know what I would do I would maybe think of not doing it anymore because I I just can't imagine you know getting used to another guy in there it it could be done I guess but I would find it very discouraging how much of the exchanges are at least Loosely scripted and how much entirely i' live I I would say 90% of them are just loose exchanges not scripted at all uh sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't work but uh I I enjoy him as a presence and and would feel uh like I was not wearing pants if if Paul were not there you know and I've done the show a couple times without pants yeah behind the desk you can do that yeah anything goes and wasn't that the start of the whole damn thing with Gumble because Lawrence grow then the president of NBC News wasn't wearing pants and if you didn't have to report that fact to America none of this would have happened that's right that was the whole thing that's the Genesis of that do you and schaer socialize uh we have yeah I I don't think that uh he or I could say we're best friends and I don't think we you know I I wonder if we were the best of friends off uh the show whether we would uh have the same kind of chemistry on the show if you can call it chemistry I don't know I I kind of like the idea that uh we're friends we're friendly we work together together we go to dinner we we celebrated a New Year's Eve together and so forth but um I don't I in Time Square yeah and they're picking Pockets um I don't know I I think maybe everything is better this way people say that even those who like you and can call themselves your friend that you're really not a very social person you're you're out of there and uh you know people might know you five six years never have been to your house never really gone out with you beyond being around the show no yeah what's wrong with that so Grouch what the hell is the matter with you I I don't know I just uh I don't know I I don't know I have friends uh the people that I work with I have really good friends people that I've known for uh seven eight nine years now from doing the show and and I consider them my friends and and I hope that they feel the same about me and uh I think that's a real luxury that you get to come uh to work each day with your friends and and we have people uh in our office that I think represent the brightest smartest funniest um nicest group of people that you could hope to assemble so I feel you know at the end of the week I felt like I've spent the week with my friends your writing staff is incredible yeah I I've been again very very fortunate uh I wish I could take credit for all of the good things that have happened on the show and to the show but it's largely the the the work of the writers uh and and also the uh the people who do the production of the show the talent people and so forth what's the single greatest it is too hard to pick maybe two or three greatest top 10 lless you got me again I I don't know we've done so many of them um none really stick out in my mind really yeah that's amazing to me that I can remember and it's much less much less skillful work but I can remember excerpts from Innings of ball games I've done and conversations here it sticks in my head and with you it's gone once it's once it's over with um not gone uh it just everything after you've done so many of these we've done I guess tonight was 1,081 it it all kind of gets to be a little gray you know um Dan quail's top 10 pickup lines see I don't know how you know these things about this show uh that to me is amazing and and kind of sad pathetic might be the more act sad understates it pathetic in a way that's almost too difficult to contemplate that's what it is and we'll be back all right and you can you can fiddle with that last nights was a good one too Malamar Gaddafi's monkey I don't even remember tonights I don't even tonight I remember I don't think it's I don't think it's vanity I think it's just a matter of being into it I remember what I said on base hits I remember what kubec said it may be that in your circumstance you're concentrating more intently on it than than I am I mean minute to minute you've got to know what's going on I mean with the top 10 all I'm really listening for is is a getting a laugh yeah uh am I mistaken or does Jeff Martin disproportionately write those things the top 10 list those are done by committee cuz I sort of sense him in a lot of them I I think that if you knew the other guys also you could sense their presence in them too it's done every afternoon in the conference room and they you know it's it's a tossup they throw up it's a jump ball and everybody works on yeah all right how what do you want to do on the on the closing here well let's do the good night thanking him and saying tomorrow night right is this a Thursday night Wednesday okay um okay okay 9:30 after cheers yes it's an hour and a half right tomorrow night after cheers right here on NBC 9:30 the Letterman years is that what they're calling it that's a 7th anniversary special an era in American history yeah most people pretty much remember where they were the night you came on the air don't they I don't even have an idea see you later quick count so this is the Tuesday show okay do it again the man is just too fascinating he has to come back tomorrow for a second installment and a reminder the 7th anniversary Letterman special is Thursday night after cheers 9:30 here on NBC you getting the sevene it no no still having a pretty good time I'd like to get out of here though no chance tomorrow see you later e

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 109,029

Keywords: David Letterman, Bob Costas

Id: 8ySVaPY6vBQ

Length: 62min 24sec (3744 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 06 2017