David Duchovny - The First Ever Guest On Ferguson's TLLS - 9.5/10 Visits In Chronological Order

[Music] welcome back to the Late Late Show my first guest is the golden globe-winning actor and four-time Emmy nominee who starred in the hit series the x-files he's also a talented writer and director whose feature film house of D hits theaters in the spring that really is a lovely [Applause] [Applause] I mean let me just say that Craig is not being completely honest with you or not telling you the full story that after Nicole I was the second date that he let me I don't want to say that it went further but let me just say that that bird doesn't know what he's talking about we we went past the upstairs Oh Sadie's do you because no we call that downstairs and Sadie's the view just don't events don't does as long as it's not downstairs backside hey you write your score these two I'm half Scottish how do you be half Scottish uh-huh because my mother's Scottish your mother's my dad is not my dad is Jewish of my mother Scottish so I mean it was always you know don't ask me to pick up a checker that's my son my son has that say my son's mother is Jewish and I'm Scottish my Scottish grandmother used to say the two most maligned people on the face of the earth they are Scots on the Jews and you know there's a name for what your son is and what I am a half Scot have to because there's apparently there's a lot of them running around probably because of you hello it's called a the technical term is a macaron Mac kosher for Passover I like that stays dry in the Hebrides do you think you got quite odd no your mother did your mother live in America she does did you kiss my mother Scottish is she's great frightening yeah no cuz no she is I cuz Scottish mother's Jewish people talk about how their mothers are all very you know can have over the top or everything but you know my mother's I think once than that well well my mother she was an Africa kind of mom you know she'd have a saying for for most anything that would teach you how to be in any situation and and usually it was the same saying which was it's right better than a steena in the Luke I'm sorry I have no idea what you just said it's right better than a steena hinder look it's much better than a stone behind the ear right not an imposter so it's true Wow but that still doesn't make snow it just meant that if I was complaining you know why don't we have any dessert you know why can't I go to the park it's basically shut up it's better than getting hit over head with a rock she's right you know it is not that sums up the whole Scottish worldview I think my father being the New York Jew that he was had a completely different approach to life he was more more passive more laid-back more sardonic I guess he would his response to any situation was usually you need that like a moose needs a hat rack suddenly know why you were drawn to this x-files world have you ever been to Scotland a bit of Scotland III got the chance to take my mother there for a premiere of a movie called return to me that I did a few years ago got to bring her there and actually got to got to go to a prince's trust concert with Prince Charles oh yeah who's also your your Lord master as well as the Scotland is this is America buddy happening got that Braveheart intro notwithstanding yeah Scotland is still annexed I thought I'd get this goatee stuff out of the way early you know I mean is the paint your face get it done yeah yeah I thought you looked good it reminded me of our date oh yeah a little bit but but I'm sitting there with with the prince your prince a prince yeah Anna my prince and and we were watching a a band called All Saints which was popular time and they were doing a song called booty call which I think you had a baby G love is gonna sing booty call tonight right so I could tell that the prince was kind of nonplussed by by the song and he actually he said at one point and forgive my accent it's terrible he said I can't make out a word they're saying they don't say I said well there there there's Prince there saying may I call you Prince they're saying they're saying booty call you know it's a booty call I said well I could explain it to you but it's a little it's a little rough so I mean do I have your permission yeah sure yeah I said a booty call is when a man calls a woman or a woman calls man with a man calls a woman late at night usually after midnight to try and get her to come over have sex with him and then go back home I love the sound of this booty call and the prince went and he reached for a cellphone [Applause] welcome back from the Late Late Show I'm here with David Duchovny who was getting girls to throw candy Adam seemed good what have you been doing what are you filming what you making none I just finished a movie in New York called trust the man that was written and directed by Bart Froy like who's a friend of mine a very talented guy and it's a it's a quite a serious movie and I brought I brought a kind of a pictorial essay to show you some of the stuff that my character goes through well that's great it's absolutely with myself Julianne Moore Billy Crudup and Maggie Gyllenhaal so it's a great cast I think so you want me to show these photographs and I know their story in they felt aw q through it okay okay here we go alright here's the first photograph you broke a show-and-tell yeah so it's very serious movie you said it maybe I can explain it this is a picture of me getting punched in the balls by a six year old boy yeah that's lovely and what about this one here yeah this is um I'm uh that is a bag of frozen edamame also known as soybeans and that woman's putting on your test if she is right there she's icing me down after my injury right is this is this a kid's film or it's a it's for all ages yeah and this and this is later on I have to go to the doctor I've this scene I'm convinced I have a venereal disease because because my my can you say balls I know you can say it but yeah I got balls there yeah I like the way you say it better what testicles because my testicles are vibrated yeah I think that that I have a venereal disease and they've coincides with my phone ringing my cell phone and the doctor is actually dialing my cell phone number I know this great great lovely hands well they're warm yeah which is nice he's easy love know what about Tia she's just got Spanglish right now yeah all right yeah I think she got an Oscar for that she's like that yeah I think she should get good it's such a it's such an amazing gutsy performance and she's a she's unstoppable but today as she's had work on another movie she's also doing a lot of work with UNICEF as well to try and help the tsunami victims at this point and you know I think it's it's great you know if we all even if our government is reacting somewhat slowly to the crisis it's great that all of us all of us as individuals have actually been sending a lot of money to these people and trying to help because I mean this way in this way you know the government will follow our lead and if you want any information on how to give or anything like that a UNICEF usa.org is how you can can find out how you how you might be able to help as an individual in whatever small amount that you that you can think of so today's hasn't been involved UNICEF her grandmother was one of the founders oh really again ACEF yes so she's been involved in that was good stuff and and I wish our luck with it and yeah let's get behind that we've ever well I mean they're they're our brothers and sisters yeah I know it well part of the same world thanks thanks for coming thank you David I see Pizza theaters this spring what's that email address UNICEF Yousef usa.org UNICEF usa.org to send donations to join Isis and to learn how to learn about how all right thanks David we'll be right back with Nicole Sullivan thank you please welcome David the company everybody [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] de vida company can't tell from that clip but it's a comedy and it's good I've seen it I've seen those some deeds a lovely film it's a comedy yet it's sad and touching and places to chill congratulations where exactly did it touch you it touched me touch meet that French actress that you've going on what's her name she's not magically am a day Magali am a day yeah something no sir she's she is lovely in the films yes he's terrific did you find her in France did you go to France no I'm looking for an actress they are woman uh-huh no she was in America and we found her here yeah walking the streets of America French that's what the French women do they come over they just walk around until somebody grabs them put some in a motive well it's working they wear blouses they smoke cigarettes Anderson slows us yes they wear blows they see your cigarettes those you'd miss you of the company I would like to be in your movie no yes yes no you know you were my first you were my fart I know you're my first guest on the show I know how's it go is it sad to see me again kind of it's not because it means I'm still on the air I'm gonna take [Applause] it's a little Lemmy filling this little talk-show trick when you don't actually have that much to talk about you come up with time time wasting devices like what's good again [Applause] you don't want to talk about this film that you grow directed on your in with the giant mistake well it's not a giant moustache in America when it comes around the bottom like that we call it a goatee that's not a good with tea that's a village people so nice to mention it hey I tell you Robin Williams is looking a bit rough is he okay is he okay what's wrong I kept him up all night yeah he ages in the film yeah just 30 years in the film but you know if we tell the folks with the films about a little bit it's really a coming-of-age story and it has to do with you know a boy it's not a French actors in it don't make me make you stand up again you dis care but it's it's really about how when you turn 30 no when you when you're becoming a man when a boys becoming a man how much you have to leave behind and again it's funny yeah you know in terms of language action you have to leave Michael behind [Applause] it's that claiming do not make me regret having a papist the the character the Robin Williams plays is mentally handicapped this is this kid's best buddy and again he's maturing past wanting to have disguise his friend is going to leave him behind it's very sad for Pappas and then there's a woman in the women's House of Detention that's why it's called House of D so the women's House of Detention there's a deep I just said that yeah making it clear oh is it not clear to them perhaps but it's very late at night so very very high to help them you know your audience I do know my audience some of them are as the the House of Detention and play by Erykah Badu plays this woman prisoner that this kid strikes up a relationship with because there was this place in New York and 11 Street and 6th Avenue called the house of D for women and I just thought well it's amazing if a kid could walk by the prison and have her have a conversation with a prisoner you could in the middle of New York City I always thought that was an amazing dramatic situation I can tell by the expression on your face that maybe it's not I was thinking about that French actress again a new French actress who plays your wife and then there's a very lovely actress who plays your mother yes my wife tale the only plays my characters mother yeah all right is there any kind of Freudian thing going on there for you teasing unnoticed you cast your white as your mother no because we never appear on screen as mother and son I play the boy growing up thirty years later but the boys so good that the kid is actually great it's just a genius of a young actor I'm just in awe of this kid I think when I was watching the movie I was thinking that's David nice then other things I thought it was you as a kid well I just tried sports into your childhood and I was like wait a minute and he's mumps Tea Leoni that's weird because now they're married I can't I can't speak for your state of mind maybe you're like your audience when you're watching the movie yeah Oh a little toasters you mean hosted yeah we bet toaster so you're going around doing the the lay around right around I'm going around and you know I'm just I'm kind of it I think that it's a real classic movie going experience where you you know you laugh and you cry at this movie and I really want to just impart that to everybody that will do me the favor of listening to me as I talk about it because I really set out to make a movie that would put you through the wringer and make you laugh it isn't lovely foam and congratulations you know to me that's what a big movie is it's when you have a great experience in the dark with a bunch of strangers or maybe that's not [Applause] it might not be a movie that I'm talking about are you on the publicity trailer on your private jet where your fleets of publicists flying around private jet this is an independent film yeah I know I'm lucky if I can get a seat on the train ready do it all the shores you doing all the publicity well yeah that's it you only do it me I got it we'll take a break we'll be right back with David Duchovny do it again [Applause] [Music] welcome back everyone I'm here with David the company yeah not really huh see now this movie you've done how's daddy look no only do you have a beautiful French actress in it and your wife plays your mother but but you've got very talented and this was a smart move to get the kids in yeah you've got a dog in the movie well I got all of dog dogs and monkeys people love hi damn I don't know any monkeys or a shock yet you maybe just draw a shot back in New York City yeah it didn't make sense although you know post me I'll put it in but I had that I had to have a dog at the the boy Anton Yeltsin plays a here's a job delivering meet after school which well they're the shark could do afterwards the meet it's too late now is that you finished the video next time so which is something I did I delivered meat when I was I had about that yeah back in the day so uh but strangely quiet mister smartypants tell us about the charming film I was just thinking about having that experience in the dark so so I from my experience I wrote I wrote the big silver delivery bike which was so cumbersome and awkward and people love to throw things at you I don't know why it's like oh I've got license to throw things at a child because he's moving slowly and he's not a bicycle you know old man hey but also dogs love to pee on that bike I did I think because they smell the meat around all right I don't want I don't want to venture a guess but they do so I want to have that in the movie where every time they park this bike there's a dog that pees on it so I said to my first ad the first assistant director you got to get me a dog that a few dogs at peak and he was like oh it's it's going great we're shooting I talked to the trainer the trainer says the dogs are really they're peeing great they're gonna get I'm like I'm like I don't I don't want to spend any more time than I have to with these thugs is this an independent film I got to move fast and if those dogs aren't paying I will not do the shot I will move right I will move on I won't be in the movie right so so the day finally comes we're going to do the first dog beat and you know the first ID goes they got this special thing that they do it's it's a secret special thing that they do and they guarantee that that dog is gonna pee on cue I said okay you know I got a shot you know it's like that dog pees so it's not like you can't just put the dog peeing in there he's got a be peeing in the middle of shots right that's fine you got a special way to do it my pee in action so look the van pulls up with the dogs and these dogs were not abused I promise you but I look in that window and they look like they have to be pretty bad yeah and I start to feel a sigh okay let's get the shot quick because and so the the assistant to the the dog trainer comes out with this bottle and start spraying the delivery bike with it the magic elixir right and I was like oh my god that's the secret weapon how do you know and then the dog comes out and Wow he just pees right on cue one take we're out of there and I went up to this genius dog trainer and I said oh my god what did you how did you what did you do with what is in that what's him you know what's in that and he said other dogs pee [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Faison please welcome David the company everybody [Applause] ah baby TV boy Davy Davy how a big TV those wanted to say Craig it's good you saying you take me back to Scotland when you see that pointy yes your mum Scottish stole a bounty still a bounty a bounty bounty bounty have you ever had a bounty you're an international traveler with your your giant jet and a fleet of assistant it's me and I've had an Almond Joy and I'm enjoyment I'm not a bounty what do you think a bone sees a bear named it sounds vaguely sexual though when you say it I think I says more about you than it does about me I've got a booty a boot a boot to you we could just go on with that just waiting for you to finish it mother I'm very well you know what I was thinking about the house of thee because I've seen the house daddy and I love the film thank you and it's um and it's got that what a prison in it yeah you ever been to jail I just did something I've always thought about you I thought you know he's pretty but he's but he can't live by the rules and I thought he's deal that's without law you know I was watching your monologue and I I was reminded that when I was a kid I was like eight or nine years old maybe seven and I figured out and I figured out that a soda can fit perfectly in a tennis ball can and so I would I take one tennis ball in the can and then I'd shove a soda can down I put tennis ball on top and then I walked out and I had my my free soda and you're proud of this are you do I seem proud no so so what happened was everything was good and I had all the soda that I wanted like you had all the bounty you want one1 bugs yeah and a friend of my sister said to me well David I know what you're doing she's only eight or nine or seven herself she sat me down and said I know what you're doing and I think it's okay I like ya know all right but but you're gonna have to steal for me as well I'm gonna tell your mom and I just saw my entire future open up before me yeah then I was just gonna have to keep on stealing more and more to keep this woman in soda TVs cars you know I should got older I was gonna have to keep myself I just quit right there yeah that's you saw a life of crime from that's your sort of business I also figured out you probably couldn't fit a TV or car on a tennis ball can although you could try yeah yeah scientists are working on it those eyes those iPods are tiny but I want to say that the house of D on DVD now all of you people that said you were gonna wait till they came out on DVD and I know there are a lot of you I know there are very many of you you have no more excuses ever there they're not no more excuses and I also feel like you know I see people come on your talk-show shoot yeah it's I can hardly understand your action how do you say show oh shoot but all they do is they talk about themselves and what they've done you know the my movie my whatever and so I've just talked about how Cindy and I'd like to I also have a couple movies here that I like okay Donnie Donnie Darko oh yeah yeah we had the guy you go on here and then for us the kids Cinderella I guess how I feel better about Hawking my own stuff if I just come and talk a little about somebody else and anyone pay you for that Disney Corporation just movies I grabbed as I was walking out the door all right you still get them inside the tennis racket thing yes in the press I have the story about you I don't know if this is true I dropped her at high school and you know what I dropped out of high school and I had to study but the you that you dropped out of college is there no I dropped out of graduate school what's the difference no probably about seven years and a couple hundred thousand dollars all right I was studying philosophy because I know that on your monologues recently been talking about flashing your just wide-ranging all over the place yeah yeah you're a madman adda PhD DVD you can have your way with me I'm hypnotized yeah so so I was I want to study philosophy right and I thought I was gonna be a philosophy major and I sat down in this course philosophy course and this guy came in and he looked like the ZZ Top guitarist yeah or mr. natural he had the floor-length gray beard and I thought okay you know I'm gonna hang with this and he said okay let's talk about time travel and then he said it's very possible that I am Who I am but I also could be somebody from another dimension who looks very much like me as well as Who I am and I thought I don't ya get it yeah yeah you don't need to be part of that crap yeah mess with your head man don't mess with your head just folks stupid yeah yeah I I felt stupid when you were saying it I you know I felt stupid while I was saying it too [Applause] welcome back hi my lovely we must monkeys monkeys yeah let me say that that's not the movie as it plays by the way there's no that is a movie Behrman the director talks to you as nobody's happy talking in your ear while you're trying to watch the movie you know we should do it go around what would be everyone who buys the DVD you should sit and watch it with them and tell them what happened that's that good good gimmick all right they're doing the DVD commentary is weird because you're they just put you up in front of your movie and you and you watch it and you and you talk and you just whatever comes to your mind you just say and it's just weird Sinan [ __ ] weird I have no idea what that must be like no it's like I know we'll try to imagine yeah it's just it's so alien to me to think that I'm sitting there I'm going oh yeah this was what I had I had like a tuna sandwich for lunch this day and I think my stomach was alone and I napped and this was you know so it's really important for the filmmakers out there to see that yes what you had you get that on the DVD hey listen tell me about the Yankees Red Sox thing you're part of all this I don't really heard of it well you're part of it aren't you one of the what are you I'm a baseball fan yeah there you are that's what yeah you don't you do you know anything about baseball I know a little bit about baseball right well I know that the Yankees the Red Sox rule and I know that the Los Angeles Angels of gala I am California engine yeah yeah and I knew that the Dodgers used to be in Brooklyn that's it I'm done it said do you know anything about the actual game how it's played yeah you hit the ball with the bat goes into the parking lot everybody cheered she takes us Carol [Applause] what of this what of this steroid but you left out the spitting and the grabbing of the balls I didn't know that was baseball I was just dancing that was just being a talk show yeah don't tell me about the Yankees and the Red Sox instead but I'm reminded by the word by balls I'm reminded of something else right about the about the triathlon that I just said because they write you're your age on your calf didn't you think why well I don't know why cuz cuz they want to embarrass you for some reason before you die and you know and then they actually they also want to write your age on your balls it's weird I think that's what the guy told me you know and then I was now it's late for the start and everything yeah they used to the I hope they don't use a sharpie I want to talk about baseball I don't want to talk about your gentlemen's equipment I it's weird that they write your age on your balls because your balls really tell your age like the Ringo I know it's like cutting through a tree and counting the rain say my dad I'm an immigrant I need to know that's to get into being an American I didn't bring it up yesterday yes you did Yankees race dog you were right so excited Yankee I'm a Yankee fan and you know to put it in terms of your philosophy because you were yet a monologue on philosophy like we spoke about yeah the the Red Sox are like well well the Yankees are like Freud because they're they're popular and everybody quotes them and everybody's afraid of them and do they live in Vienna you know maybe some of them second houses there right okay I think Derek Jeter has and the Red Sox were like young because they're you know they're they're they're they're not as popular nobody really knows about them they're about collective suffering and those kinds of things I guess you know that's that's the best I can do for you but I also I know that you know favorite pitch that movie was adapted from an English book about soccer fans yeah like Arsenal I know as a team yeah I'm still attracted to that name no it's a it's a good it's a good everyone likes to go up there since audience I just like a t-shirt that says our sauna yeah you can get one okay yeah no ad but baseball doesn't have the kind of hooliganism and violence know that I mean I haven't been to a game in a while but I don't I don't say anything it no there's would you like to see more hooliganism is Fraulein know I like to see more hot pockets I say what I want to talk to you sub is something you know it's the Amy's have just passed and I didn't see you up for oneness you know I'm not on television that'll be it although I don't think that should prevent me from getting nominated no I don't think so either I'm a little pissed off about it yeah I think so and rightly so yeah I voted for you and I'm not even allowed to write in there yeah so what is yeah but you didn't get nominated for a really well yeah Kelly Ripa does the best Regis impersonation yeah yeah we got really good Regis in person I don't but I guess I did it on his show and it was good enough I think there were somebody told me they were Jimmy Fallon one but Regis was also nominated for the Best Regis and he came what sec I don't know but I hope I did all I do when I do Regis is I just do one word it's just to mole de do it again mole de banques [Applause] welcome back everybody I'm everything with the country that was a scene from from the the best of the Larry Sanders Show yes or not just the best all of the Larry Stein's is doing is coming out said yeah funny now I don't know I'm not plugging that plug that that's good and you were wonderful get it out of it come on what have you been up to that have you been well Vegas will you invade go to Vegas well I don't know because I'm not comfortable in Vegas because III don't like to gamble my only feelings when i gamble is how soon will all my money be gone so I can leave your part Scotty shown you yeah yeah yeah was it your mother Scottish yeah yeah I see that my whole thing about gambling is so I give you money you might give me some but I don't think so I was there sitting on a panel on independent film because you know as it makes sense when you think independent film you think Vegas yeah maybe okay so we're sitting on the panel and about Jennifer Lopez because when you think independent film II think there are other people on the panel besides us right but so we sit on the panel it's for the the owners of theaters this is kind of an insight into how these things go and we have to convince or tell these owners why they should have an independent film in their theaters when they could have four screens of spider-man we want them to have three of spider-man and one of the TV set right and we have to say well we're making movies that people are going to want to see and you you all will prove that tonight when you leave here no but nobody wants to see spider-man that wrong I'm just saying not for screens that I'm not for speech oh you're right yeah a different movie on the screen I think you know we're there and and we do this thing a now and backstage with Judy Greer who's also in the in the movie with me a wonderful comedian and we got a couple hours to kill we're kind of backstage dude I don't want to go gambling I want to just stay in this hallway right I totally relate that except it's the hallway where David Hasselhoff's might be he's doing the producers there so at any moment he might come out naked or something so I'm actually feel a little uncomfortable in this hallway but yeah less uncomfortable that I'd be in the casino right so as I'm making sure the hassle of doesn't come out naked I'm kind of just standing there and I see that there's a couple people a man and a woman kind of lurking nearby you know you know a way of lurking that is I think they might want an autograph or a picture so I'm like that yeah I'm familiar with it it's fine okay just come on over come on over stop lurking they come on over this is a David I'm a big fan and like an autograph and so is my girlfriend I said fine sign the autograph they go away but they continue to lurk right so now something else is up because you know obviously I've satisfied one demand but the lurking continues so I still there with Judy and I say you know these circling circling getting closer kind of like you know a ball on a tether right tether boy the spring in the backyard excellent name for that sport tetherball yeah so he tethers back and now he's back and he says David like I said I'm a big fan I really like you I said that's my girlfriend she really likes you just yeah weird well this is what I would say this is you know it's Vegas and I think it's gonna happen right okay and I don't want it happen okay all right okay so as I'm processing this he pulls a small envelope out of his pocket and it produces a ring and says would you ask her to marry me oh he wants you to propose I didn't know that in my mind I heard would you would you ask her to marry you yeah and I thought it was romantic but odd you and you married well well as I've been told we're close to Utah right so I'm about to say no and then I hear it here correctly I said oh okay I've never been asked that before I wonder if anybody has but yes I will but then I turn to her and I say I'm not gonna ask you to marry him unless you're gonna say yes because I don't want to be involved yeah that would be bad so she says now she's starting to hyperventilate and cry and now Judy Greer behind me is crying so that's a way yes so so I I don't know either of their names yet so I just say we marry him very nice and then and then I said to them look guys I'm not in it just for today when I ask a woman to marry me I'm there or marry anybody I'm there for the long haul and I want I want to keep on checking up on you guys I want you to know that if you have any problems you can call me yeah and you have to promise you have to promise me that you will keep the TV set in your theater because there's a theater owner guy you're an entire year or else I will have it all annulled is he gonna do it well I don't know I haven't checked oh you better check you know I just want to make sure the movie still it's a Eric hill Sabac a kill suspect I usually just read the first syllable of award and then leave it that that Eric tells a bit Sioux City Iowa one of my favorite places yeah are you there yes I'm here are you still married hey David yeah hey is everything's okay we're still engaged okay good good to hear that end do you have a the movie in the theater no I was doing for the prison get delivered he doesn't have again alright well that's a technicality I'm gonna have to again Eric I mean it any time just call me I'm and you can and you can play the Larry Sanders thing [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] please don't love you now you don't need this we still love you here in California what give me something give you something I need something too far down to [ __ ] oh here we go I hugged you didn't I yeah okay good oh yeah now we're ready let's go yeah ready for what I don't know I'm ready can you actually can you actually fart on command because that would does annoys me what the hell do you think you're talking about just say kanya no can you not necessarily noisy all right you ready I can do a noisy one on come on three two one and I'll do a noisy fart right okay ready hold on one [Applause] the Emmy goes it's always one upmanship with you I like you a jack I'd like to bring a little class no no it's great haven't seen you in forever I'm great thank you move to New York yeah yeah yeah sure scope Californication Daniela you're one of the reasons I took the job was I could stay at home and work and then we moved to New York it's it's completely nonsensical yeah it doesn't make any sense at all you play a writer who's sexy yes yeah that doesn't really ever happen you know I mean that's that's a that's a fiction there's nothing sexier than this [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] are you are you adjusting well to life on the East Coast the lack of sunshine yeah well it's our second year there and I'm from there yeah wait are you from again I'm from 11th Street and 2nd Avenue in Manhattan wait do you know I used to live there why I knew the accent I could place it yeah I used to live in 11th Street just at First Avenue 33:42 Levin Street okay I did I never saw you there well when were you there 1984 I wasn't there oh you weren't going for the whole year yeah for the 80s I believe oh me too yeah yeah I have to go would you like it sorry no I liked it I like that I like that if you got tattoo on your finger I do it's a wedding it's a band oh did not hurt no not so bad I got one here and I'm really bad well that's a sensitive part right yeah but your fingers kind of sensitive not really really you don't have sensitive fingers no really what's wrong do you have some kind of problem can you give a good foot rub what no you know I had nobody what's that you know what's out I'm wearing these half socks you know that people I hate them you know I hate those things well not when I was growing up only women wore these Hey now nowadays only women wear these so who told you that was okay you come out here like some kind of crypto transvestite that's right I said it crypto a transvestite I need to talk to Nancy Collini she styles me oh and she's back there you have a stylist I mean I'm not saying that surprised you're a stylist I mean no I swear I did I didn't like that I didn't David I'm exactly about to see how much I like to jack it was very stylish a gift from tan actually put the the jacket or the sharp the jacket I think it's fantastic it's like a beautiful jacket you crushed blue velvet would you like to touch it I would like to touch feeling that I'll touch the jacket now you don't want the the nap to go I think you you've made it you know you have to brush it in the same yeah I was doing it in the same direction yeah you don't go back like that way yeah and then down and then down [Applause] hey what have you been up have you been writing you write any more movies yeah I've been writing really what you've been doing well I you know I'm trying to write I'm trying to write thank you but writing is difficult as you know some days are bad what about a book oh come on I don't know it's about time yeah yeah you know I think the last time I saw you was when I when I did that Q&A with you there's not time you've been here since then I don't know if I have well with you but I really enjoy that novel I haven't I haven't read the new one yet well my new book yeah that's the same one is it yeah it's very smart you just change the words around a little bit yeah nobody knows has changed the font it's for that's well days when I'm not writing well yeah basically what I do is just fool around the font yeah whatever I'm trying whatever that's that's right it's it's not interesting but it's attractive Kirsten are you writing a movie about belly dancer will you write in the book and I ask you is it a secret it's a secret because I find that that if I talk about what I'm writing I don't write it do you find that no I do well kind of I suppose although why what I do is I talk about it then if it gets a laugh I write it down yes yes time I write yeah because of here we're here every night I know well your hours aren't bad come on don't make it I'm here look what time is it know the time in your region and I'm here for upwards of 45 minutes a day I know do you write when you're when you're on location that they because you wish that I could you make you feel terrible I don't know why because I think when I'm working I just have that kind of head and then you know what I'm writing don't do it you did I think really before I did it only only because I didn't want to say headspace because I don't like that word even in whatever font it could be but I find it difficult to write write the actor you have to just completely it seems that way what do you read then what do you read II read the detect I read all the time I love the day I've got crazy about crime novels right now yeah I read them sometimes but I I don't know I I just read whatever I like it's why late but nobody my daughter loves us she's 10 and she ends that all the time and it's very romantic for her she likes I'm not fond of it David what the Twilight yeah I just think the vampire should be a little bit scarier than you know guys that look like they're in Starbucks a problem with annoying annoying scary you know I get it I get it you won't you don't want to be think he could kick the ass of the vampire exactly I want the vampire to look like he could kick my ass and drink Mike's job is gonna say they drink my blood yeah because they suck my blood that's fake drink my blood you know what's really good is that you know how much help they need to do big box office it's good that we're out here talking about it because they need to help yeah that's true that's we probably made it as a franchise yeah cuz you know what who watches the show teenage girls late to watch you cuz I still I'm still from the age when you watch what I watch what's on I don't TiVo I don't do anything I watch what's on no I couldn't last night the the alarm went off in the hotel for some reason they it was a mistake or a false alarm right and this and this voice came on and said there is an incident in the hotel please stand by for further instructions and I was laying there and been naked and I thought I should probably put on pants but I'm a New Yorker I just thought you know screw it nothing's gonna happen then I thought no I'm gonna put on my pants so I put on my pants and I'm laying there and the and the alarm won't stop so I put on the TV I put on Jerry Springer right do you have pants on yeah I've never seen that show oh boy yeah that's I can't believe it so this is where I'm saying it was on at 2:45 the morning so I watched it that's the way I watch television did you enjoy it in a way that I can't quite describe yeah everybody's with you let me just say that [Applause] excited David the Californication not doing all right it's so fantastic in fact we went I guess you went up something like 50% in our ratings this year I don't understand why but we did that's fantastic I know that that doesn't happen well you've done that you're you're very popular if you go from like 10 people watching to 20 people watching this we're up 100 percent yes I believe we went from 5 to 8 yeah that's well that's good yes we're done yeah that's it I love top I'm doing this new thing I like you know I like that alligator a lot can I talk to him yeah you want me to take a break now okay I would alright alright you ready okay we come back David your company will talk to wavy the crocodile everybody hey everybody welcome back you're not toy with me to company for a killing machine I know I think you have a little Ferguson stuck in oh yeah man you seem to have very insensitive fingertips if you don't mind my saying everybody hey hey David yes what so you live in New York that's right do you enjoy the smell of urine and the street well it's fun it's funny should ask that way but I think that I can get a good urine smell on just about any major metropolis in the world so it's not just New York I can get a good whiff of it here in LA do you do you I what you're telling me is you enjoy the smell of Europe this what you saying are you a German be careful you you watch yourself you maybe an alligator but you're you're very small I'm not I'm not sure if I'm an alligator or a crocodile to quite honest with you I will take you down man I love it when you talk dirty oh yeah that's right a likes that yeah [Applause] please David Duchovny everybody [Applause] yeah [Applause] see you got yourself in a DVD there son that's right that's pretty good look at that the Joneses EVD a David how you doing David I'm doing very well I'm very happy I'm glad you're always here on Ecuadorian Independence Day is it would be Ecuadorian Independence Day without you you're gonna like the Santa of Ecuadorian Independence Day well you know my family growing up in the city in New York City in the 60s we always celebrated Ecuadorian Independence right yeah because my father being a Russian Jew and my mother being Scottish it was a very important day yeah I'm sure that you know that the companies were out there with their Karaka tacos on that day we would put the little mustache over our end you know because you know what do you call that what is the it's what I told a till gay thank you yeah hey you were my first guest ever I was nice to have you back yeah well I've been back before that ya know Bob just I want to say look at this note that Greg gave me and they doing this I mean I was his first guest so we have a bond a very special bond and the way that he keeps that bond going is by writing a very personalized beautiful note to me backstage and I'd like to share with you if I might it says welcome back David [Applause] David David David by your own admission why your order and then it's signed Jerry I believe that's not for me that's from Jerry Jerry's very excited you're back and there's a little kiss yeah that's a little kiss right there where is it buddy yeah well it's covered let's just see how the rest of Independence Day Ecuadorian style goes right but by your own admission your mother Scotty sure you know that you're not big on effect you say admission like it's some kind of admission of guilt in a way mother miss Scotty should I speak from some experience that in a way you are guilty yeah you know yeah well what is the Scottish kiss it's a headbutt right right well that's more a Glasgow kiss there's a Ned brother you actually kiss yeah my mother used to say to me I don't know if I shared this with you but but she would say when I would complain about anything if I didn't like whatever I was eating or I wanted something else I wanted to go outside whatever she'd say it's right better than a steena hinder look really Asti Narenda Luke yeah we don't love yeah yeah in America for a long yeah I wish graduations on losing your accent thank you very much but what's a steam a stone Oh a stone so it's a stone behind the eastern 80 years well that's very unpleasant well this is what it's like to be Scottish is that no matter what is happening to you don't complain because it's better than getting hit over the head with a stone so so in Scotland that is the that is the watermark that's the watermark of a regular life yeah it's either it's either it's okay shut up or you're getting hit over the head with a stone yeah that would explain many of my earlier romantic adventure how's things with you you all right yeah all right yeah yeah fantastic you had a haircut I did because I thought your Leroy get your hair kind you know what I was thinking I was thinking next time cuz I like to get a free haircut it's not why you come here no I come here because of the warmth he really likes it's a picture of himself right there's a personalized you know I was thinking next time I come out maybe I could get my haircut while we're talking I thought we could yeah you can just like you know get Mort me into your schedule in some way yeah I'm very busy because why cuz I'm on TV - yeah I'm sure yeah yeah not like that anymore oh not she's leg oh yeah well let's just take that in lieu of the kiss thing I patted my leg that's enough are you all right [Music] [Applause] [Music] don't don't don't take this the wrong way but are you wearing long underwear oh I'm sorry I was miles away I'm not wearing long underwear I am not wearing any underwear I'm Scottie she must have learned that yeah do you wear underwear have you come this far from your heritage civilized hey there was only with the kilt I didn't know it was no no we never wear underwear or in any way shape or form bathe you know again I go back to the city New York City when I was growing up there and this is a style that is no longer in fashion but a lot of the guys when we play ball in Central Park baseball hmm we I didn't I say we and we amend that and Toby you were really funny I see yeah yeah well yeah Toby what a great what a great laughs what a wonderful laugh I like their glasses I was like whoa it's kind of sexy drew Carey yeah these guys play baseball in Central Park sweatpants but they wear their underwear over their sweatpants what are you telling me now usually a jockstrap you know over your sweat pants yeah this was the 60s early 70s it was a different time they want to make a DVD about that B well yeah that that you would go and see I think no yeah it's a DVD you can go and see your friends I'm not technologically savvy like you what is this DVD there's a bunch of people get together and they form a group and they each put in a little money and buy the DVD or rent it mmm in many cases and Toby help yeah you might met you I was one of the laughs but but you just throw it out the tension paging dr. funny is that is that is that kind of a snarky comment I think I think it was a little hope of a little Arshad who is that that's Jeff Peterson he's my robot skeleton well how does he come by the last name Peterson why how did you come by the last names of company his mother was Scottish [Applause] I think we've all been there please welcome David Duchovny everybody [Applause] [Music] I'm always delighted when you're here David cuz you wear my first you were my first guest and look at yours her first you know you've you've really come on and you've got you know you were great yeah you never forget know you never forget your first yeah you know do you do you remember your first oh is it time for commercial already no no it's time for a probe I remember that first as well you first bro yeah of course I remember my first I I don't really want to discuss it it was way back in the 20th century you know yeah yeah but but then before they you could get an app for it yeah they didn't really know how to do it no we didn't we just had to fumble our way through using using hands yeah it was pretty much all done manually very very hairy do that tonight yeah no I got I was playing basketball on Sunday that's a euphemism playing basketball I was I was playing basketball this guy came down the rebound and he elbowed me in the lip and I got a gash and a nice little purple purple thing here so I I can't shave without pulling half of my face off so I figured it's better to just grow the cool goatee [Applause] applaud this elaborate lie you just want to grow the goatee don't ya I don't know how to grow a goatee I'm always the most staring at the mirror when have you had facial hair yeah yeah all off my own yes no but I don't know I I don't know the Styles no I've never known the Styles I don't know what what they're doing now I don't know what they were even that you don't need to you get the jawline guys are going for the same thing yeah a strap I don't get that at all well you don't need it man look at your jawline right there you got the Phil Guy Pearce going on right there yeah Thank You Craig well it's cause you play basketball that's why yeah but I've never I've played ball my whole life and I've never gotten hit in the face like that well who be playing against do you playing against George Clooney I was not well there's your problem yeah yeah I'll take that under consideration that's why I go play do you who do you play against then about a weekly game in New York where I'm living now you know so I thought you were looking to bet New York give me your dark clothes and your kind of slight smell of urine no don't you know it's not merely game use thank you for saying slight yeah yeah it's very slow do you have your own fragrance Oh what the famous folks are doing that now they hit the road fragrance well I hadn't thought of it but now I'm thinking about valuation yours yeah what's urine is mine that's rich oh yeah I don't think you've been here since these I have I saw him I don't like him yeah I don't care from either I gotta say he's he's Team Jacob apparently uh yeah I'm bite my daughter is Team Edward so I am by extension team Edward you actually know about the boy game I have an 11 year old daughters right to your eye it's that old enough to read those things I don't know I thought she reads the man she goes to the movies really have you seen the movies uh yeah do you enjoy New York I always thinking you as a Californian I'm from New York I was born and raised there McHugh is a California is it's probably the facial hair that and I met you here so he must be from here yeah like you probably think about me yes I well I love this Scottish in you I love it because of my mother you must talk about that yeah yeah your mother was courageous that's was but and she loves you she loves you but you're late for her and she doesn't know how to program with the DVR thought yeah no nothing she does she has a black emotions like that what black and white just fight you don't need color that'll just lead to sin true story what's happened in the Californication this year then no no a lot of what you saw I get I get nailed in the in the head with the phone there by my is that really what happened to you in let no and I would say that was a plastic phone you know and because I didn't really want to get hit with a phone they're all plastic man you don't get like a soft plastic phone and you don't mind if right that's right well apparently no I'm just saying I got an email from a guy in Australia who said they're too small to be kangaroo testicles they're probably wallaby testicles well I'm not an expert but I'm guessing there's a very angry wallaby out there oh yeah very angry wallaby with a high voice or maybe a kangaroo on steroids these DS don't take the steroids there of course all right that's the main thing the Californication tank is the motor for the whole show was that I had unwittingly had sex with an underage girl in the pilot 16 year old she was the 16 year old pilot yeah that would make you think she was older than 16 I can see how that that's why I was misled right so are you going to jail I figured I figured if you're flying a plane yes yeah but it's been the secret throughout the whole series and now and now it's out and now we we do deal with legal issues this year but it's still it's still a comedy we're not turning into a law and order type show this shoe is turning into a law in order to hold it what would it be called that's a tough one I I didn't mean to put you on the spot what he does come in handy that's coming every now and again you know when you're stuck yeah every night so there you go that's it all right I don't you close with them yeah usually an awkward pause or a harmonica I was wondering what you would prefer mouth organ or silence I'm gonna try to both if you could if you could just if it could humor me and just say would you play this harmonica would you play this harmonica [Music] go on let's go get the organ here mouth give a good blow feel bad for your old Scottish mother are you ready please welcome David Duchovny everybody [Applause] [Music] welcome Davey welcome welcome welcome yep hey David he wasn't talking last time I was here all right yeah yeah he's evolved he's come out of the shell yeah he's really talking chatty kind of yeah a little too much actually I think been speaking with you after the show yeah how you doing y'all right don't very well Wow thank you you look you look good too now you're lying man that blue tie brings out your I like this blue tie you like the blue touch your blue eyes right yeah yeah I just want like this yeah yeah yeah versatile how you been you all right I'm excellent yes the Californication dude yeah it's a I think it's doing very well with its fifth year that means you're doing well that means the one year after that you get a Golden Globe I think did you go there yeah yeah I did yeah I go to lose you know we know I'm sorry but you know yeah where did do your research hold on there passive-aggressive boy I don't do research and secondly that I only have one yeah I I got this great message from my my son on the night of the gloves where he said he was calling from Florida where he was fishing kids suddenly go oh yeah he's alright I thought maybe ya know and he said yeah he said oh good luck on the Golden Globes tomorrow dad and and if you don't win it's okay it's good to just be nominated oh I caught these fish today and they were there it was like three minutes of specifics on his fish well you know it's his world was lovely yeah no it's fine yeah I saved it I have that you have the fish no do you go fishing no I hate fishing what's wrong why was in Jamaica over Christmas what did you go if your own accord yeah did you make it yeah yeah yeah that's a very old joke yeah I say my wife's gone to the West Indies Jamaica no she went of her own accord you never had that job okay you know I never heard it no but I he wants to go deep-sea fishing because he wants to catch a bill fish you know fish with a bill a Marlin or a swordfish a big big fish that's a trophy fish and so we booked this deep-sea you know a boat folks yeah and I spent five hours on the deck in the fetal position oh yeah horribly well these fishing boats are gonna small is like dive boats are the same I don't get seasick and unless I go in one of those it's about the worst feeling there is it's terrible yeah if you combine that with a better shingles that's terrible I got shingles over Christmas somebody's I've heard a rumor that you're you're into shingles it's not interesting just the PC way of saying herpes no because I didn't get on my junk you got herpes here you can get her herpes that it's a that's like mouth herpes and then you got a doctor's coming out next okay [Music] maybe we tell at me yes tonight I think my hearings going I think it's the shingles the shingles have made me go type up like Regis makes one makes one very testy yeah testy yes he it's one of the one of the good points about being mechanical no herpes over there you would think and yeah he's caught shingles for some odd reason well that's that's how we got the job hey you were my first guest here I do know that yes yeah yeah fond memories right yeah yeah boy remember back then yeah let's pretend we've got a flashback but no really happy we have to take a break we'll be right back with David the cover [Applause] guess be out all night welcome back everybody I'm here with David Duchovny who's just told me during the break that he loves beekeeping I do yeah many many bees have you got that David uh seven said so I live in New York it's hard to keep them right they keep on escaping and then I saw some of the wonderment to the Hamptons I saw some that I lost four or five of them that I lost a few years ago what were they doing Astor yeah yeah they were working for making honey for somebody else maybe I won't be very good say via bees is good you won't get seasick keeping bees myself how to play guitar plus one thing well that's alright you teach a bee who play guitar you make make some money ladies and gentlemen Corki the guitar playing B and then six legs that's probably gonna be good yeah they can do a cover of armor King be right okay B I'm a believer yeah that's all I got so you teach yourself to play just so I can accompany myself on the guitar it's not it's only for my pleasure because if I play it for anybody else it wouldn't be there for there for their pleasure see I don't know if that technically counts is playing the guitar why not well if nobody could hear you playing the guitar i watch your monologue you said if you want to play in this manner sing do it for yourself and then now you're your taxes behind okay yeah I can't take your mind okay oh I'm not like what am i running for president I can change my mind yeah geez again I'm just gonna wait until you disagree with me again nobody but I when my son we used to watch American again my son watched America I knew my son was straight when we were watching American Idol I figured it out you know you don't know you don't know if your son is going to be straight again one day Clues one doesn't know one doesn't care that sadly don't care this one anyway dad okay so we're watching years and years ago and there was a contestant named Hayley scar not oh I remember this does anybody remember nothing anyway she was not the best singer but she was very attractive and my son was watching her he goes she's got the best voice and then I look at my wife and I said yeah we got a straight man yeah yeah that does it all right listen we're on it saying what you want awkward pause mouth or getting big cash price I'm going for the prize okay can I say Jane can I change my mind no you could change it all that money on time 150 American dollars Singles could incite any g-string in these United States even ones even ones worn by women Wow all right oh oh don't touch the money tell your baronet two ways to win the to win the big cash prize you can either answer questions or guess what's in my box guess what's in my box is I imagine it oh I don't want to think about your bar yes whistle might I get imagine a box my head I don't know what's in it Jeff is the only one in those books and that you guess if you're right Jeff will tell you you win $50 I I don't even understand that I'll talk I'll take the question question it is then all right hey all right then I don't think ready yes go ahead Iceland is in the North Atlantic its capital city is reka Vic is that a question no I'm just saying see who say listen did I do true no [Applause] [Music] it's my thing that I see before I ask the question it kind of sets the tone okay all right give or take 10% what percentage of people who responded to a recent survey admitted they slept with a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend is that in Iceland give or take 10% what percentage of people who responded to a recent survey admitted that they'd slept with a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend 14% let me think I don't know 15 16 percent close enough [Applause] my next guest is an award-winning actor Jeff he's won awards he's an award-winning guy he's won awards he's he's the number one actor in the world they're the number one is that right yes yeah this new film phantom is in theaters on Friday take a look at this the great David Duke up [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you know what I'm so happy I didn't know the rankings had come out yeah they just came out you of the number one actor in the world I'm very excited for you and it was gonna be me Roger Federer it's you and guess what what I am you are to me anyway you were the first-ever guest when I got a show so to me you were always the number one actor in the world David oh hey he's not a real guy you know I like you described me as award-winning because it makes it sound like only one which I like like he's in a war not know he was nine Awards when he won an award well that wouldn't sound right Awards what is an awards win an actor like try it next time all right I'll try ladies and gentlemen an awards winning right no that's not right no it's an award winning a war does the please your show man go ahead Awards award whatever I'm not angry are you dizzy nodding about yeah he's a horse man he doesn't speak English you rate horses done and he's doubling I think it's a Jewish horse check his business see if he I don't see that any views expressed by David to company or get nothing to do with me now you're bailing out no I'm only been a little - you're done with me well come on come along I well I'll go whatever you want to go where do you want to go I went there I know you went too far we went too far are you surprised are you circumcised I wanted to know I don't hear anything yeah you guys get on ok you gave him a rude gesture the last time you were here I did yeah yeah I'm sorry buddy you're really funny there's not a lot of heat between you two no I haven't seen this much chemistry since x-files no I was thinking like mechanic McCain I was thinking mccain-palin yeah that's it sorry clothes I don't know who's Who but uh well here's a clue yeah don't you know yeah he's amazing he is amazing he can do it he can do you he can do your voice right now after hearing you yes do it again I think the [ __ ] I think the horses last name is Helen [Music] by David it's not bad it's a little bit like you it's not good yeah I thought it was a little bit it was a little bit hey hey tell me about is this your submarine movie I've been waiting for this this is a submarine everybody's got to do a sub gotta do a submarine movie this is it that's how you know you're a proper Hollywood movie star when you get your submarine was actually in the sag rules when you join right I have to check off a submarine submarine what a lot of guys in a place there's no metal - sweating this is a great movie actually it's yeah we made it it's a very small movie independent film but it's being released wide as if it were a huge movie because that's the way it fits so good well it is really good as excited so thriller I feel like I'm selling but I'm selling the truth people that's good [Applause] [Music] I remember I used to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger come on shows and every movie was the best and I don't do that no you shouldn't do that I don't do that but I watching all the way is one of the best movies ever I had sex with the maid on the way here of all the movies I have done this one is the most recent so I won't doubt I don't do that you know me I don't lie to you this is a really mean you don't light it was crucial eyes you knocked her you pretend to be somebody else all the time then again this movie you pretend you're a guy in a submarine I'm guessing you're not even an American in the submarine I'm on the submarine yeah yeah he's a protect no we're actually that's an actual submarine we're in the submarine what's the command I go no you saw a movie in a real submarine yeah you're lying you're lying [Music] fire I don't lie what why you couldn't show movie in a real submarine you need to rent it good they rented a different who it's it's an old submarine it's rusting nobody's dying to rent that thing rusty we went in it and we shot the hell out of it it's is that a sex thing a rusty submarine this is Jeff hello hell yeah yeah oh my god and you wouldn't follow me yeah I just asked a legitimate question and you lied to me about shooting a movie and SATA submarine which you didn't know how did you present it be Russian in this movie which you or not know your name is a little bit rushed I am I'm a quarter Russian I yes a quarter is that like that was like the Pope thing what was the word sure yeah no I'm not very good at this job man yeah the amount of words that you say you don't cry you don't mess up yeah yeah well that you'll never go know yeah they'll beep your put a little flag over your mouth you beat me you ever been Russian Russian boy I well you know I was driving there on my submarine one yeah do you drive a something I don't I think you write it don't ya I hope not ask him about the sexual thing when you're when it's a rusty submarine Jeff do you driver or write it no it's all a periscope player you ever been in Russia I haven't I'd love to call you should go yeah bother to go with us movie because I am the only one with the Russian name in the movie and we're all rushing in this film no heard speaking Russian in the clip was that bit where you guys said we're all Russian but we all know buddy speaks and I get it because we're all Russian and and who says that it's more believable to watch American actors speaking English with a Russian accent like I believe that yeah that guy is Russian because he's speaking with a Russian accent but Russian people are very they've got very obvious physicality about them they talk like the like Italians you know they're like they talk like that is so not true that is true hey which one of us is Russia me so I work I will stand down sir yeah maybe I went too far anyway while I'm saying is I think you'd love it you're a very literate mind Russian people very literate and you're a bit for drunk they're drunks you'd love it do you know speaking of literate I I interviewed why I questioned you whatever I moderated what did I do to you he had a novel yeah I had a Buchan you had a book and I need you did a reading or he didn't do a reading he was there yeah yeah and you were trying to get people to buy your knob yeah and we sat like this and I interviewed this man yeah it was great you were really good you were a good guest you you were a you were a great host you should really do this job and I could pretend to be rush on some news for you Craig finally nothing from him yeah no no he loves you yeah look at that David we have to take a commercial break oh yeah all right David to go there [Applause] [Music] maybe night we're just talking to each other in Russian yeah because I speak horror show khadisha horror show hottest show horror show what a show remember from Clockwork Orange there was a lot of Russian made up English words from the Russian because Anthony Burgess was a genius that way and real horror show is what they said for somebody it was good horror show is good in Russian how does she was okay in Russian yeah it I don't know how you stayed single for so long where you know you in LA or New York New York you in New York all the time that's why I never see you cuz we're here all the time I would I would be the guy if I lived here you know when somebody fell out yes they got drunk yeah that'd be you every night I call up the company he said come on in and shoot Crockett with me I would love I would love for you to do that why don't be like you're Tony Randall don't you have your own plane you could just like fly over I have a plane I have a submarine I could I could come around you know when you come around is that a plane or a submarine room I had to go up around Antarctica where the down oh really for such a smart man you still have a firm grasp of joget oh yeah I mean you're an incredibly bright man Wow all right there how difficult is this geography not difficult no no I'm ashamed of myself all right you know my kids know much better geography that me and you know they'll I see what they're doing and they they know where all the countries are I'm really like that Ugly American who can't name all the other or like somebody who's running for vice president who can't name David David David you had to bring your Russian politics and more like somebody was running for vice president that was like a Jewish Russian guy boy says you what I like Redd Foxx tonight man you got after everybody burn let's ban it now dammit dammit dammit come on man I can't I can't I can't get anything by them anyway we're out of time you want to do something you want to uh awkward pause want to throw frisbees at the horse what you want to do I'd like to throw frisbee at that alright yeah we got a bunch of frisbees um there you go take a bunch of frisbees David the couch [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] my next guys a fantastic actor a very handsome man he's got very nice trousers and his taste in shoes is impeccable his new movie louder than words as never want video on demand and in theaters on August the first I'm so excited he's here take a look at this inside that bag was a great white shark [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I like that music you like that music music was like David Duchovny dude here he comes Wow baby feel good to be David Duchovny well you should people want to be David Duchovny why I want to be David Lee myself well I was like you to give me your best Craig Ferguson interview style and say tell me about your movie la la can I get one of those that's for some of them but you David her a different casein I just want to see it up close oh alright tell me about your movie like you did good David it's good that movie comes out August person it's a very sweet movie it's a it's a it's a it's about it your hell's going on here I don't know it's the only way I can I can I can get this out without you jumping don't lower the words it's a it's a sad but but nice story go and see it it's a know it's a young girl that actually does of rabies which is tragic it's terrible yes yeah well it's it's it's a beautiful movie alright we're not feel terrible about it yes you should her parents go on to build a Children's Hospital in her honor what no I just feel like a Jer well that's right aren't you sorry you told me student no I'm not sorry I just wish I'd stuck to my guns okay that's yeah hey when you feel my knee there does it feel extra nobly to you because I I have an extra of a little boon spur no I'm sorry you know but I believe you I like it though I like what you're doing that's life you get strong hands and what you're doing right now I'm kind of half chubs so you better get out of it all right ever been Iceland or Bangkok I haven't I have been to Thailand no we're at after I graduated college I went to Thailand really yeah what are we doing the the tour the Canopus backpacking around backpacking around Bangkok yeah no no we're north north northern Thailand and there and the worst part was when I came home to Seattle I was stopped by customs because I had gotten a terrible disease in Thailand not the one that you're thinking but I had a stomach I had what she calls Shigella dysentery you can look it up later ow it's bad yeah the plane I got it and I was sashimi my brains out on the plane he's a medical town it's our magical town my brains were actually coming out and right apparently this was untoward behavior to the stewardesses on the plane they thought that I was smuggling drugs so unsuccessfully what yes eh yeah so I was detained by customs who went through all my stuff and kept on asking me if I swallowed a prophylactic filled with heroin the night before and and I would say no not heroin if I'd had the balls to be that funny yeah but eventually they said they asked me to sit there naked they asked me to take my clothes off and they said hands on the wall and spread your legs and I said guys I've had diarrhea for the last 14 hours please for your own sake do not do not look there do not go near there did they heed your warning how they went in [Applause] that's your tax dollars at work lay them down so you still keep in touch I am sad that you're leaving the air and I wanted to thank you leaving here I'm leaving the show yeah no thank you and you were my first guys like you know and I'm very grateful to you because you're a very big star and they're right when I started we tried to get people to come and it's hard when you start another pleasure but I think you have to deal with you know leaving I think what mean is you have to deal with me leaving I know so you know you have to go through the stages of grief which are denial anger bargaining something else and Regis and then breakfast burritos breakfast burritos Saskatchewan not happening Saskatoon Saskatchewan oh that's iTunes a hell of a time what you're doing right now is you're trying to deflect the conversation away from your feelings so I think how come we don't know that you're not trying to deflect the conversation because you're sad about I said and I said it first well that doesn't make any difference look at a juvenile argument that I said at first I started a that's what my therapist always would say to me well he said I said at first he'd say really your status there's like someone who needs therapy yeah but are you in therapy for real I'm not quit no I quit why I had enough I figured it out I I just I feel like if I can't get it now if I don't know how to maintain and work this spirit and body that I have you know cracking me you know you can't even see this at this age I should know myself well enough to go through my own life alone that's the way I well at nope before no wait hang on I mean I've had helped over the years before you applaud that just because an actor says something in a commanding that's right I mean I'm getting a text from my therapist oh gosh you see so what do you do that how did you keep yourself along the straight and narrow D do you do your guardian I like the yoga meditate a little bit you know just I tell you what I went to Japan and I meditated with a Buddhist monk oh you did I did yeah and I liked him very much indeed yeah yeah and he was very satisfying guy he was in robes and the yellow and he was chubby and he said a lot of very clever things what kind of a clever thing did he say what's an example he was like you know chill out relax try and keep it in the morning no it was in Japanese it was like you know it was like chill out relax come on calm down keep it all in the moment you know it's like it's okay don't get too attached to this or that the outcome you know all stuff I'd had before but we were right but it was good though he looked the part so you believe yeah he looked the part I also I speak along Japanese it's a chill out dude excuse me just a second excuse me just a second the jokes portrayed by the company are in no way endorsed by me or the CBS organization so that's good that's nice I'm glad you had a good time oh yeah its Californication come to an end oh no it's the sound stunts over with I've started a new show two weeks ago what's the new one it's called Aquarius it's on NBC 7 the 60s which we both remember no I don't yeah well you were born in 61 I was born at 62 I don't remember it you know you were alive you're on the planet you were you're back yeah yeah if I remember better than I remember the 80s to be quite frank with you but I I know I don't remember much I remember astronauts and stuff you want to tell me about your childhood sure why you did it again yeah so it's I'm playing a homicide detective in the in the 60s in LA and it's that sounds good I like to send it out yeah yeah yeah Manson time around the Manson murders yeah that's gonna be maybe we have to take a commercial break oh really I'm just getting started we start again I always want to break things up no David the pipes really might think you took the pipe I did it first second he's manipulating you there's a very good professional actor he's making your emotions bend to his will we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] just talking just shouldn't breathe just a couple of guys getting ready to kiss I mean getting talking about their pipes so I'll get about the punch so anyway we're out of time David genuine like that was his catchphrase you got you gotta be able to say that yeah oh come on trademark yeah are you going to the comic-con I'm not I don't think I am I went last year we have a good time I do have a good time you Dre's it's a good time it's a comic I dressed up as Princess Leia last night that's what I was excited what do you get a line of people that want to shake your hand and you meet the folks meet the folks that enjoy the shows I like it something good about it feels it's funny because it's so entertainment industry based and yeah it feels very unholy wood and I like that it would last of course the floral take it over and wow the joke is that that all the people are crazy and and and and crazy fans are things that but but you're right what you come away with us more of like a human interaction that you can get anywhere else yeah yeah yeah they're just honest about but they're crazy and they're enthusiastic and upbeat as opposed to the cynical douchebags that we deal with every day air my present company excepted of course my own so we really are out of time okay that's fine now I would just sit and you know we got talk to your audience so no deeply [Applause] [Music] manipulate you are you sheep are you so blind you can't see he's just teasing you with his finger what anyway good times you want to meditate or have an awkward pause or something no I just want to say thank you for letting me be your first guest and thank you for being on the air hello all these years [Applause] [Music] [Applause] but I'm working right now on a TV show actually with David Duchovny and he said he was the first guest on your show he was the first guest on my show yeah I touched me so I let him be first guest on the show he was a very nice man you know he loves you because I told him I was doing it he's like oh you're doing the fun one idea what do you mean well I have to ask me about this whole sexual harassment thing no Eva never asked me sexually I mean he touched me with his genius is what I mean him section well I didn't trust him a little bit sex yeah no what sort of just a little bit you know try to kiss him yeah well he loves you he was just saying he loves you obviously know enough to kiss me but there you are yeah yeah what are you doing with him um Californication oh that's a good job yeah it's fun do you make out with him in the show I haven't yet but I have a feeling that I might eventually because everyone makes out with him on that show right yeah whether it's on camera or not eventually

Channel: The Jayleno Fly

Views: 224,953

Keywords: クレイグと女の子の女性, クレイグ・ファーガソン, ロボットをゲオフ, craig ferguson, craig ferguson and the ladies, flirting masterclass, funny late night, best talkshow, funny talkshow, talkshow compilation, talkshow moments, flirt talkshow, geoff the robot, the jayleno fly, funny moments, super happy fun time hour with robot and old man, david duchovny, craig ferguson first episode, craig ferguson david duchovny, x files, gillian anderson, californication, house of d, carla gugino, maggie grace

Id: NIMqze9diuU

Length: 104min 23sec (6263 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 16 2017