Dark Souls, but I can only use MIRACLES

GA around dear listeners for this is the story of how our Lord and Savior Jesus beat up Heretics and regained all his Heavenly Glory it all started when something seemed to be a Miss lordran appears to have been corrupted by the abyss so Jesus packed up his things and set up on a quest where the strength in his faith would be put to a test but with the power of Miracles making him the best each and every major boss shall have to be unrest at the beginning of his journey challenges appear to be many as the exit from the Asylum is barred and cannot be achieved without effort plenty thankfully Jesus had an idea you see Miracles can take on many forms after all and with a bit of clever positioning Glee we have found ourselves to be finally free with Ginn on our side nothing can stop us Jesus said and with the exit from the Asylum granting us access to the realm our journey to beat up Heretics can finally truly commence in the undead Parish troubles weigh us greatly no means to deal damage to our dire foes hence to the forest we have to venture innately seeking the great power of the sunlight Bros to gain such power many Souls must be attained as the entrance to their Covenant requires 25 Faith so the dragon on the bridge shall be heavily profaned with his assistance in plenty of souls we shall bait the dragon's assistance works like a charm with each run around 500 souls he provides and not long after our ingenious Soul Farm the 25 Faith requirement no longer divides with the power of faith into the Covenant we enter and receive Lightning Spear as our first major life Ender powerus my boy Jesus is right oh my God okay this is why Lightning Spear at the beginning is po guys I look at this damage also the dust can't hurt me Miyazaki this round might be a little bit easy at the beginning not going to lie guys because he's literally Dead with three shots you give him one last shot and you see him get the [ __ ] out of here good fight yeah lightning speed is a little bit hard hard hitting at the beginning guys very very hard hitting at the beginning all right first boss down also Solair we do need Solair hello Soler how you all righty my boys so there let's go you are not needed but I need your Sunlight medal and Jesus Christ quit out immediately I will not deal with those idiots let's go my boy yeah basically if he stays alive to the end of the boss fight you get a Sunlight medal and we need a Sunlight medal yeah I I I'm really blind mango you're going to see the damage output it really doesn't matter if Soler is in the fight or not like I can kill these guys with like three shots it really does not matter a that much in hindsight and also he has sunlight oh my Garo you're not going have a fun day tonight let's go Sol yeah you can see the damage up it really does not matter if Sol is in the fight or not guys like it really does not matter bye-bye I actually forgot he can actually throw sunlight Spears or actually lightning Spears thank you my boy sunlight metal that's what I wanted after the garles have been shown the light it was time to step into the shoes of the way of white our power at time is nothing to mention so for that reason we seek the red tearstone ring its power will give ours very great Ascension and turn lightning spear into a destruction sling the next major foe quog is Jesus said but our power for her is way too much to take Miracles after all turn every demon dead and with her fael we make the last bell awake our next objective before the city of the Gods is to collect two very powerful ancient items the first being hidden in a lake Against All Odds the second lies inside the catacombs with many Titans after pin's defeat and the Maiden being freed Wrath of the Gods we do generously receive with many tribulations and facing many odds we move on promptly onto the city of the Gods okay sigard where is sigard why is he just standing near snakes what's up sigard perhaps I could try some rolling I never actually paid attention to that voice line you [ __ ] how did you forget how did I forget being invisible does definitely help here very whoa W that was one combo that was one bombo combo I haven't seen in a while get lightning stucken on literally the moment I stepped on a trap Jesus Christ that was scary Iron Golem should not be too much of a problem I think can't get hit here in between his chubby legs what is the damage output explode Jesus what it staggers him immediately oh my God bro get absolutely wrecked G I've never seen a more insane Iron Golem kill guys I vog is the Ultimate Weapon weon against Golem I can see that now Jesus Christ all right let's go kill orstein and smag bro arsr is broken in this game it really is all righty then uh let's get one more spell slot and let's pump this to 46 I said it before and I said it again invisibility is the most busted thing in this game and uh that you can actually legitimately try a noit run of this run like noit run Miracle Zone we need the ring here this ring here gives a 20% damage boost to all miracles ring of the sun's firstborn and uh yeah boost strength for miracles so this this is going to be essential all right in this place there are three sunlight medals that we need and also I'm not going to summon him for the or and smack fight though orstein and smack fight is going to be a legitimate challenge that's three sunlight medals that is amazing how many do we have five that is a massive relief all right a Seward quest line that's what we need the one thing I really don't understand how the [ __ ] did he actually manage to get in this room and uh now we just basically need to pray to Gin the almighty to not get ass blasted and we should be fine easier said than done though this is the surprise guys this is the surprise slam dunk getting ass blasted I agree all right orstein let's go come on LeBron let's go explode jeez is the damage what is that damage what is that damage boys let's go Shaquille O'Neal let's go bro that damage is criminal that should be illegal slam dunk again I need to be careful not to get stuck in the and GG you had a think good fight no basketball for you with orstein and SM having been finally slain our journey takes us to one of the last key domains this one in particular makes us feel heavily blessed as Beyond these doors lies the almighty chest with the Lord vessel acquired we Ascend to ever greater height and so we slay the traitor Petrus cuz he took our maiden's light with the ivory Talisman now within our possession we move on steadfast onto ever greater depression one other thing is required here Jesus said and the items needed for it lie within the demon ruins with ceaseless defeat we move on to the bugs in this land farming them for sunlight medals is important for you to understand the medals are required for the next main upgrade to our power so we go receive great Lightning Spear as our next superpower with all of that preparation we will make the rest of the Lord's cow let's go kill a dragon first then we probably go into the catacombs and so on also Bed of Chaos exists hate my life honestly I just want to delete Bed of Chaos from the game guys hello thankfully C is stupid as all hell for some reason and he basically does not move at all great Lightning Spear does not do much more damage than basic Lightning Spear it seems to me that they basically do the same amount of damage dead rip Boo and here come the infestation of clams good fight goodbye Jesus does doesn't take any prisoners in this game he just blast everybody with lightning and vog how many seconds for SI is death probably like five vog oh my God vog again B and B okay how many seconds was that guys how many I have no idea but it was very fast all right next boss fight uh we can actually skip nah let's go kill the let's go kill the idiots go kill fire sage and centipede okay I need to shut up for a second and focus on fighting this guy okay B perfect run run now we wait for an attack because he has those stupid attacks that basically are Olympic level jumping mechanics and bye-bye good fight get away you heretic somebody said to me that this this guy reminds him of a Zelda boss oh my God in heaven what is that damage to him oh he's so stupid this is so funny guys what the hell how did I die it's impossible I didn't die to set demon Jesus strikes you down what was that damage on this guy he's definitely weak to like guys all right hell itself has descended upon me to strike me down let's go no cheese this time we fighting it normally and now we going to die because batt of chaos sucks if I could delete one boss that's simply not going to subscribers don't get spotted by the Bed of Chaos what is that no no I'm going to die I knew it I knew it there was no way there was no way that is that is disc cooperation go go go don't look back don't look back bye-bye bye-bye Satan spawn good fight no fire heal this time thank God one absolute hell out of the way uh let's go catacombs all right Neo my boy I feel like I just need to figure out how to not get hit by the barrage of skeletons and we should be fine I know I'm invisible my boy but still is this Neo cheese guys is this miracle only Neo cheese guys what is this nonsense aha get Jed boy one more hit let's go bam This truly is oblivion yeah you're kind of right David you're kind of right another B down all right I'm not going to go to 99 Faith you're going to 69 fath Four Kings are the last boss guys go kill them I can't believe that the Four Kings are always over here and I never noticed that I actually looked at speedrunner doing this BG BG Lightning Spear bam lightning spear in his face bam and there we go one one done do one attack perfect bam it's such a shame that they can't get their swords in the base game their swords are so cool man die how many tries was that two three forgot no matter GG and let's go to gwin boys let us go to the Lord of Cinder or the Lord of blunder in this case with all of the major Heretics having been taken care of tonight it is time for Lord gwin to finally see an end to all of his so-called might p vog that's the threat guys all right I am the true Lord I'm going to be honest guys I haven't pared GN in like two years I'll roll the first attack to just see what the damage output is honestly okay go that is not enough damage even for p him ping might not be the best idea guys like honestly just fighting might be better oh I forgot he has the follow up GG okay patting is actually not a good idea here guys okay will you jump jump slash B now we need to somehow land on a mid force and GG Dragon Ball Z finish guys get down you heretic we have beaten Dark Souls 1 with only using Miracles but it's not over yet guys it is not over yet guys we still need to go to the DLC bow down before your lord the power of Lord gwin is now at our side so we move on to New Game Plus and the sunlight alter our prayers heard by it for One Last Ride gives us sunlight spear so we may never falter with it we move onto the source problem of all of this we move onto the place corrupted by the abyss all right Manus is sphincter let's go hopefully Manus is not going to be a giant di wad also Sanctuary Guardian is first right let's go my boy uh you should I'm not sure if you're lightning resistant or not we need to wait for opening though because this guy is very fast that is not good damage like why is he in the ground yeah going rpsr on this guy is not a good idea also why am I healing there no don't Das blast me why you got to ask me bro why is the sanctuary Guardian like that you literally cannot roll out from that attack you get hit by one you get hit by all the other ones that's so funny man come on man I feel like the DLC bosses were designed only in one way to punish you that's punish you when you're healing patience is the name of the game here because this guy is way fast what how did I miss okay the fact that that almost hit me even though I started attacking like 3 hours ago for the love of Christ fantastic can we hit you like this with you without you destroying my face well we can try I recommend it though okay how is this working I I I was led to believe that staying in front of the face is not really a good idea but it seems to be working out somehow it's somehow working out I'm amazed sippy break I need a cppy break man oh up this again heal this might have been a mistake vog good fight Jesus Christ that a little bit too difficult is also doing a miracle only R yeah centur is also trying to Miracle me into submission it seems bigar McGee is going to be hell you can say that twice please tell me this works let's try it y fall damage cheese or glitch actually basically when you have a specific amount of equip load like 29% is you can roll fall damage any fall damage any non-lethal fall damage I should say all right Arty let's see how this is going to go I am not sure what your resistances are Ry uh but your dodging abilities is going to be uh vog pretty good damage very very good damage mid rolling against what he dodged ra of the Gods okay now I'm a little bit more concerned actually he's dodging ra of the Gods guys this should actually stagger him out it doesn't stagger him out what I'm actually more concerned than ever before I mean he's almost dead but this is artorius we're talking about did he literally just a ninja flip under and then over my sunlight spear did that just really happen guys there is no way I can get off a maybe here maybe maybe maybe this is very very very maybe like sunlight spear is over here that that be the worst idea ever okay artorius please probably this right can this work Jesus Christ AR one more hit man let's book it die what what was that why didn't he die die please oh my God please die just go away just just go away man that last attack not hitting EXT skin you probably thought that I'm going to be going through the entirety of this place but actually I have other plans let's try this again yeah now it should work yeah there we go bam let's actually use these miracles for the purpose they were actually intended for which is killing dragons up my boy around to the side shoot lightning in his face pretty good damage can't complain about that amount of damage honestly uh problem is going to be hitting him because loon in this game literally makes zero sense I'm fighting the ca I'm going to be fighting the ca much more than I'm going to be fighting cam in this fight and get it not the spinner onlyi attack okay right in the head perfect oh yeah it does double damage no K come on that is [ __ ] and I'm dead what the [ __ ] so let's spe over here I think we are able to do it okay okay when you're this close to him and he tries to do that attack it basically just an insta hit oh oh I forgot that attack existed I forgot that attack existed Lightning Spear let's go you have to be kidding me please don't kill me he goes away simply so he can hit me with the most annoying I'm uh Miracle suck yeah exactly run for your stupid life Med you have to be kidding come on so close actually just need to not get blasted which is easier said than done and I almost got blasted immediately come on how did that Miss I thought I'm going to like Miracles but I actually hate them he's giving me a chance heal heal heal bro I'm getting heart attacks one more hit M aaki die die Jesus Christ that took way too long guys with the Everlasting Dragon finally meeting his match only the father of the Abyss has yet to be dispatched the fight against the manifestation of darkness is horrendous with the effort having to be put in is truly tremendous but our journey has been preparing us entirely for this very moment Jesus said and with a fight raging on in the utter Blackness with every strike you can feel mano's sheer Madness and when it's all over and the last lightning spear has been cast the Beast lays down finally he has been defeated at last though victory in this battle was not without cost you see as the darkness of the Abyss has a mind of its own it devours everything and everyone to its bone Victorious as he is Jesus felt a bit alone his journey will take him to a place even less unknown

Channel: TotoTriceps

Views: 40,510

Keywords: elden ring, dark souls, dark souls 2, dark souls 3, dark souls challenge run, gaming, tototriceps, dark souls challenge, elden ring challenge run, elden ring challenge, dark souls playthrough, dark souls remastered challenge, dark souls remastered, dark souls remastered challenge run, lilaggy, games, dark souls mods, dark souls miracles only, dark souls spell only, elden ring spell only, dark souls jesus, from software, dark souls dlc, game, stream, role playing game, jesus, cleric

Id: OzGTnzar9uM

Length: 19min 53sec (1193 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 13 2023