Cultish: Interview w/ Warren Jeffs' 65th Wife (Part 2)

all right welcome back ladies and gentlemen at cultish entering the kingdom of the Colts my name is Jeremiah Roberts and when the co-host here we're always a super sleuth and ER the super sleuth of this show that video or that clip you just heard is a clip of Warren Jeffs that's a confession that he made while in prison where he kind of had his breaking moment and made some very intriguing confessions and we have someone with us today the guys haven't listened to the first part of our discussion definitely checked it out but we are here with Brielle Decker and you were here this once again and thank you for being with us thank you yes so just for those in case you're just coming into this you grew up and as we stated in the first episode you grew up in the FLDS and you were war you're married to Warren Jeffs at the age of 18 and as you talked in the last episode you got sealed at 18 but then things came up you're trying to things were coming up and you're having red flags keeping your distance and then you were trying to figure things out because something just wasn't right and at the same time Warren Jeffs became became a fugitive what you just heard was when he got arrested and now he's in federal prison making that confession so yeah yeah we just I'm gonna hand the mic back to you but just off of that clip right there and this we can expand this later on the episode like when you heard that what was your initial thoughts just listen to that audio here growing up with that like what came to mind when you heard that I guess I was thinking about like part of his confession that they don't usually publicize I heard about like later from somebody that is now following William a Jessup mm-hmm so that's my thoughts and you know but I I when I found out about it you know and of course I don't believe in a man leading people anymore but when I heard from one of his followers what the rest of the message was I was actually planning my wedding for with my husband that I had yeah and this time you least you know and what an actual wedding is this time versus in contrast so definitely night and day there for sure yeah yeah that I will get into that so we we went into a lot of doctrine last time and I wanted to build on like the differences between the the Mormon you know like the LDS the regular LDS and I know we talked about the Winnett split with the polygamy and how well I didn't actually go into where their leader Wilford Woodruff who they voted for actually signed the manifesto which is a document in their in their stuff that isn't in our stuff but I mean FLDS stuff that document was signed it actually was agreed upon because of a scripture that said you should obey the laws of the land so they actually still believe in polygamy they just believe it's afterlife because they have to obey the laws of the land rather here they don't all know that most of them don't know that there and taught their own doctrine but anyway so like Warren Jeffs was definitely more extreme in all of his interpretations than the LDS Church are and he followed what what weren't what Joseph Smith actually wrote to a tea but also really extreme interpretations of it I mean like for example like he actually taught any elite groups that if you break a commandment then you're guilty of the whole which is a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants so if you break one commandment in Warren Jeffs eyes you're guilty of breaking all the commandments mm-hm and that is a Joseph Smith teaching but nobody else like intensifies on things like that because it actually makes it too hard yeah and he also taught like if you if you sin again then all your former sins return upon you which is another doctrine that does a Smith thought it was he he kind of put his own interpretations on everything that does Smith it mm-hmm and of course a lot of it was written like that but it's like a manipulation also yeah to say this is how its interpreted he talked about how Joseph Smith had in the elite groups and not everybody knows it but he told in a public setting he talked about how which all the Smith had underage Brides and how that's how he put it into the doctrine like pedophilia in the Doctrine he said it's you know of course he already had establish a point in marriage so only those that were told to marry we're appointed to marry an underage bride would get to or would have to you know but so not everybody would be commanded to do that but it was something that was going to be a commandment as some first-time people hmm instance he's the Prophet he can go ahead and self a point which underage people could or couldn't get married or they get married to in many cases himself yes and also since he's the Prophet and he talked about it in a doctrine setting like because he follows the doctrine supposedly the best of anybody you know to the T the letter the fullness of the gospel you know you they're gonna make sure they make it into heaven you know supposedly they want to do everything that's commanded everything they don't change doctrine ever like they don't update into a good position you know like the LDS Church put like for example the races and they updated the doctrine to say now is the time we can accept everybody they took that as a change like it says at a certain time in their scriptures at a certain time and it's not that timeframe yet so they said that was a an update that was a change of what was their previous mm-hm instead of a good thing and so when they update the update usually with something that's not been talked about and they only do that so like he updates to put pedophilia like talk about pedophilia what the danger and that is is that the next leader after him mm-hmm has to do that has to also accept that doctrine right yeah so and just really so in the same way that you know these are only men carrying out evil desires at the other day and using God to do it evil horriffic perverted desires and but now it's like well in the same way that Joseph Warren is is twisting Joseph's sayings and and Joseph's history even though it's just a documented fact that that is something that Joseph Smith practiced and tried to hide it from Emma but there would be an aspect to of whoever doesn't have a six eating Warren Jeffs where they may take their own twist to their ideology because at the end of the day people's cult identity it's reinforced that you have to listen to whoever's got prophet is on whoever the current prophet is and if Warren Jeffs says this is the person however that works they're gonna have to listen in to them and that's there's think there's a possibility they could distort that in the future well like basically so like I was describing how there was the people that were left in Short Creek that hadn't been called you know the people in the middle and the people that really when he dies we already know that it's going to be God who chooses that people don't have any say what and people in the other groups that are in the middle or in the they're not gonna listen to anybody that's not Ely and so elite that's how the unique people are the only ones that are taught that that high of doctrine right so yeah there's a really really high chance that everybody who follows Warren Jeffs will believe in pedophilia like it is a commandment from God right just like it's kind of scary because he scattered everybody - mm-hmm so like there are branches like if you've heard the LeBaron Trench the ones that believed in blood automa and actually killed other prophets and stuff that were of other groups in the past years ago that group was kind of like everybody that is left that even has the libera and last name claims to be not of that group you know nobody wants because anywhere never scattered and stuff the idea that Warren Jeffs is scattering everybody is similar to the way that polygamy was established like he you know they went into hiding and then it came back out in the open so we may find groups of people that believe him or just for a long time and believe that Joseph Smith did have underage brides and that he had relationships with them and that you know all of that stuff has to be to the extreme to actually have kids which put were ingested he did have like a lot of kids which brides but but the youngest one I know of his was I 14 and I knew the child you know I yeah so he hides that the people like that really deep thick in the elite groups mm-hmm sometimes even people that have been to Texas's stuff didn't see the underage Brides but most of the people eventually have to qualify to be given those trainings so what he does is like like he did with the young boys get him you know cuz their competition he wanted the wives so he sent him away he started doing that with parents so he only had children to Train he send away the parents even if they do anything wrong he just sent him away and so that he had more years to work with their brain and convinced him and force them and trap them and you know anything here you do anything to create what he envisioned so the members of this elite group that has the knowledge of these these trainings that that only they get where we are they now are they still in Texas no Texas took the compound to call that a criminal organization and they had one in South Dakota I think may still have they had one in Colorado I know they have more I've heard of several places but I'm not there so I can't like verify and it's the same thing like Warren Jeffs is in prison and when I was there he was communicating from prison a lot mhm there's a rumor going around that he doesn't talk to anybody because he doesn't talk to people that are in Short Creek you know and so we would have to have somebody from the elite group escape to know if he was still communicating with them but he isn't he's never been communicating with people in Short Creek much right yeah let me ask you this and this is just more a general question but the FLDS before we jump back into the store in the timeline of Warren Jeffs arrest and getting to that point at the audio the audio at the beginning of the episode but one thing I watched it was the prot it was the documentary just like a refresher it was prophets of pray yeah and one thing a fascinated me towards the end of the documentary that talk about when they did the raid in Texas and there are a couple points of real tension where they're taking the judge didn't realize how many children were actually on site when they said just get them away and then there are a couple of particular moments it might have been the temple or one of the other places where there is somewhat of a tension standoff where they kind of all gathered around and it seemed like there might be some sort of tension or standoff and I don't remember the exact details but the person said that there's this sort of undying allegiance they have to Warren Jeffs where given the fact that they're doing something what does it get which it's pedophilia and violation of children on an unprecedented scale under the knee using the name of God that if something happened to where say the feds got involved now and one Jeff gave a command to fight until the death if that if a command gave out like that they would be willing they would just do it because that's kind of their situation before like that like with Waco Texas where unfortunately there's a showdown that happened and that didn't end well so there is least a fear at least so when the documenter talked about that and again I'm just paraphrasing it but do you see that at all as far as that sort of unquestionably gence or something that could happen down the road as far as it mean there's been complex before the LDS Church between the church in the state I do see that they could definitely go that route like if Warren Jeffs just like really broke you know mm-hmm he could definitely command something like that but yeah I also think that he's more into like like we talked about the the slow painful joy that he somehow feels from taking away hope slowly mm-hmm so he really fights for that yeah more well wasn't when he was in prison once he got incarcerated wasn't it then that he began to really kind of tighten the news as far as the restrictions go just almost in a sense I remember reading up in it where he wanted sort of like heresy let people know how he was suffering alongside him being in that prison cell yeah he but he did talk about it before - he always talked about these things he called atonement mm-hmm where he was just like supposedly suffering for the people and that was the only way they got another opportunity to have another day and and he was the only one who could do that because he's the mouthpiece of God on earth and the most holy person that could go through that for everybody to give him another chance yeah so he did talk a lot about like like stuff like that his interpretation of atonement and you know you can see how a distorted that would get you know in comparison with what we know about the Bible and Jesus Jesus did that for everyone mm-hmm and then it was done you know but he he had like his own interpretation on that he needed to do that every day for everybody yeah but okay yeah all right so jumping back into these two timelines the one that people are familiar with News starts breaking out about this polygamist cult leader he's now on the FBI's top ten most wanted list and that became they came about eventually initially that kindling was sparked by one of Warren Jeffs nephews that took place which escalated into him being there and people know about when he was when he was arrested and he has suburban with all the different paraphernalia and that's a whole whole nother story but um alongside that with everyone's familiar with is it's obviously your story so continuing on where we left off in the last episode I think we're talking about you were kind of working on telling him using his doctrine against him to keep him at arm's distance but in that process he obviously became one of the FBI's top 10 most wanted so all that being said gonna be a fly on the wall I think he told us in a training I remember I'm sitting in a room and he was talking about how his nephew had filed something and it all came about it didn't really happen marce you know he's not gonna confess to us but he did say it didn't happen but what happened really is that he had hit mo tizen yeah and that caused him to remember things that didn't really happen hmm I don't think he I don't know anything about that really in real true life but that was his reasoning yeah Warren Jeffs telling people he had and that's what's so dangerous about hypnotism some devilish psychology was performed on him he was hypnotized and recalled past events that never happened essentially is what you saying he said and then he told us that he was on the most wanted list at the FBI and I remember I wasn't in the same house where he was but I remember hearing about that he was on the most wanted list and that he was a fugitive and like I was talking about how I I was figuring out the puzzle you know the puzzle of how you know the downloads were so intense and trying to figure out like you know I knew something was wrong with what was exactly wrong so when I was living in these Houston hiding when I was reading and writing and I was telling him I wasn't praying and I told the whole house I wasn't praying I was very vocal and that ultimately is what led me completely out of the church because when I figured out the puzzle I actually went silent and started to study if I needed to stay to help somebody or something but I had been so vocal in the first place that didn't work for me mm-hmm because everybody's like you know you're not that person so I figured I could leave and do some good on the outside maybe hmm and there was people in there that were more silent and woke up faster and more mature and you know and we're doing good things in there just staying for their kids there's that you know there's there's they get trapped for multiple reasons mm-hmm psychologically and physically sometimes but when I was writing to Warren I figured out that he was claiming his authority from God and that he knew everything you know and I figured out that he actually didn't know everything and he was going by letters because he'd actually call me and tell me you know I got your letter and stuff like that and I was like weren't you supposed to be inspired and stuff I he was just he kind of awakened me and a lot of like through this process of reading and writing all of his stuff I started to realize that I didn't know God I felt like God was real but I know him anymore right the only person I've ever only God I'd ever known was the one that he told me about and he started seeing that he was fallible yeah and he didn't exist but I did there was a god I just didn't feel like I knew him right and then so that's when I went silent I didn't get like so vocal anymore I just went silent and realized that I was in danger actually mmm I all these people are so loyal and he has all these you know everything at his fingertips to command and he doesn't like this is really dangerous you know Tom would like a guard tower big walls and now suddenly questioning almost everything that they teach of course that's that's scary I was in a house in hiding when I okay told them you know I wasn't praying and I didn't go I studied and stuff for a while even after I figured it out to figure out that was in place to stay or you know I didn't really have an option Jonathan and just really for anyone who doesn't remember to find real quickly house and hiding what those are our house in hiding is the middle ground between the elite group the ones that he took called and chosen to be holy and special in a you know a certain place and if they struggled they were sent to a house and hiding where they wouldn't they would have to prepare to be called back to the Lee he didn't want the people that had never been called and the people that were struggling to mingle because then all his information would be everywhere so he set up house in hiding and I I was kind of trapped there I had a caretaker we couldn't even go outside and a lot of these houses we could only go outside if there was like no neighbors you know like way out in the distance mm-hmm and that's really really what they look for is like why makers at least were you able to talk to your parents ever no no he yeah my parents were never part of the elite so yeah we we didn't associate like that was part of when I when I got married and I went like I changed my diet I changed like everything overnight because I'm now in Texas where you know not overnight it was like two weeks and then it was right all right a very fast change yeah and and it was just I'm never gonna forget like how how devastating that was I couldn't even go to the store you know I can do anything you know and I didn't have a telephone you know like there was nothing for five years you know like pretty much five years before I was able to reconnect so when I was in these houses in hiding and I figured out all this stuff like we I had a caretaker that would do the grocery shopping and he has a wife would stay home and when I was gone and then he come back and it was just somebody basically to watch us all the time and we couldn't go outside you know I didn't really want to go back to the elite group because I had learned so much stuff that was going on and I also didn't know how to scape really hmm you know how do i how do I pull that off he's like a prison guard almost like constantly watching you and his family's watching you yeah wife that's Wow so I didn't know and during this process I actually sent a letter to Warren and if you look it up it's a one of his brothers Seth Jeffs was caught by the by the he was caught aiding and abetting a fugitive by taking his mail to Warren Jeffs so part of my literature is it in that mail Wow and Warren Jeffs like really called me up and he's like what did you write you know and he was really kind of blaming a lot of stuff on me um didn't it's like didn't you know that that was gonna happen and you could have told me not to write that letter what he didn't tell me not to and I yeah that's why he was like telling me you know like you need to move and you need to do something different so he moved me to another house and um but ever since then like it was like a stage kind of because he was already mad at me and I I didn't have like any anyway like I was kind of trapped like I didn't have I didn't want to go back to the elite group because he was there I didn't wanna I didn't know how to escape yeah so what I do is I just kept reading kept you know doing my stuff using his scripture against him and studying eventually he got caught which was a blessing and a miracle really for me because then I could start to research routes out because now I can go to the elite group if if that's where he sends me and I can study and figure out maybe how do I escape from there you know anywhere he puts me from that point on I can figure out like more ways to maybe and you say he got caught you're talking about in the timeline that we wrote out November 2005 it was Seth Jeff's horn Jessi and her brother is stopped by police near Pueblo Colorado in his truck police say they found 143 thousand dollars in cash prepaid credit cards meaning you post some of the stuff on our social media and we're going through some of the crime scene photos earlier phone cards hundreds of letters addressed to Warren Jeffs and quote the Prophet and even a glass filled jar filled with change Seth Jeff's admits to taking the items to Texas to keep his brother on the run did you have something well said that's when they found those letters that she was talking about Warren Jeffs was actually caught in 2006 of August yes those two things that happened and also like during this process so like that's got caught and I still kept reading and studying a Warren Jeffs really really really bad wanted me to go back to the elite groups and I wasn't praying still he actually asked me and it's it's online somewhere he asked me in a in one of his in his journal he wrote I called up my name was Lynette Warner mhm I call up Lynette and asked her she was praying and she said no hey he wrote that writer's journal that's online so um he couldn't convince me to go back when he was there so what he did is he put me in another house in hiding and you can look this up too I think it was called Wendell musser he was the caretaker of the house and during he put me in the house after Wendell muster got got caught for a DUI or something mm-hmm and went to he went to jail jail for a night and during that night he called us Warren Jeffs called us and told us he turned traitor he was under a lot of pressure and they found a picture of Warren Jeffs in his car or something and he we all needed a prayer our way out of there so that was his way of caen like forcing me to pray because it was like basically threatening me telling me that you know I would be one of those eight aiding and abetting a fugitive and you know because that's what happened to set Jeffs and threatening you yeah so we need a pray our way out of there so we all pray and then they show up the next day with the trailer we load all our stuff in the middle of the night and go to another house and hiding yeah well in that story of when a muster when he talks about his story he didn't turn traitor he came home to us wife remarried enough family gone you know like everything gone he just came home to an empty house a wife remarried but he was just kicked out of the church for no reason you know like not really a reason like you know DUI stuff isn't that big of a thing for FLDS like yeah I mean it was I mean it is but it's it's not the same category as being I guess it was at that time but that just wasn't you know it wasn't like he had really hurt anybody or anything but yeah so anyway his that was part of my story where he was like forcing me to do what he wanted and one of the things in one of my letters I wrote about how I didn't want kids because I I wanted to teach him well and take care of him more than her kids and he told he called me up and told me you don't get to decide that I decide that and you know stuff like that and I was like really so we were kind of in a battle like almost all the time quietly not everybody knew about our battle but so when he went to jail when Warren Jeffs got caught in 2006 like you were saying um that was what I saw is like okay you know maybe I can get out you know and then it was a long process of when I started to really research avenues and ways he was kind of ahead of the game on me in a lot of ways like he used well he had all the tools to I didn't have all these people at my beck and call but he used that letter those letters that had been taking myself just to say that it was my fault that he was being he didn't say it publicly he just told like specific people certain few elite people yeah that you that it was my fault that he was found and that you know because of what I wrote and it was like a ton of psychological torture that I went through for three years and it was the hardest thing for me was that not everybody was in on it like he only had his his specific people and so I'm sitting there having to focus on the conversations that we were having with these elite select few and everybody who didn't understand what was going on they were just telling him that I was crazy hmm and if I stopped just if I started to deviate from their conversation then I would get punished so I just kept escalating I kept escalating and escalating until like I said I was being brought into cult doctors and being drawing the stuff because they and then I learned a lot about medical and how you can use just about anything to say somebody's crazy you know like there's something die there's a diagnosis for and so I had to fight that and it just got really and I'm gonna write about a lot of the actual stages in my book but wasn't there an aspect to where one of the primary reasons the FBI got involved you're talking about cult doctors and people in funny because people will have a disconnect I'll hear something like that that sounds like something in a movie or all of a sudden like a doctors they're under control by the cult yeah Bane it's like you're it's amazing because you're saying this this is just your what your experience was but the typical listener will hear that and it's just so far oh I just have a doctor's appointment it's so far disconnect from reality in a lot of ways but isn't it also the case where one of the reasons why the FBI got involved is because the fact that they couldn't really do anything from a level of local law enforcement because local law enforcement was FLDS loyal wasn't that the case yeah in in in like the group that was like we call the abandoned group like the group that was just like praying every day and not worthy yet that never got called the group that never got called that was in Cara city and Hildale Utah it's a older compound they they were all FLDS law enforcement there well so they had wherever there was FLDS that was more control and so with me I so I went through this torture for three years and then I like I kept using a doctrine against him and I and I kept passing their tests like they'd bring things to me and say Warren just said this and I would be like okay you know I and and they would always hesitate because I didn't look guilty hmm and so they would they have to be certain or they would have consequences themselves if they do something wrong so it just kept like I kept getting more opportunities and more opportunities and it actually led to where they told me that if I went to my father's house in Colorado City I'd be the first person in Warren Jeffs family to actually go to Colorado City after we were all taken away mm-hmm he they said I could go there and if I found something wrong with my father because of the like I said the doctrine cabinet singing about baptism that said if you don't understand by the time you're 8 years old the single on the head of the parent they said why don't you just go find something wrong with your father and write about it to Warren Jeffs in this certain way and you can have another opportunity and so I decided I would go to Colorado City because that would be easier to escape from there because there is a mixture of ex FLDS and FLDS in the older compound the newer ones are all fles so I decided to go there and I get to see my family too which is a really huge bonus and but I didn't blame it on my father no I actually tried really hard to find other avenues like all the time I was pressured a lot but most of the time I would just like tell him that I'd rather die than do it but that time I decided I would go to Caro City and then when I got there I didn't write the letter and so I stayed for a while and the reason why I did that is cuz I was trying to decide if I should just leave immediately or if I should help the kids yeah and that was my ultimate goal for even going in the first place was to help the kids so I determined because now I knew all this knowledge of how to get Warren Jeffs to correct my father you know then why wouldn't he correct the people who did it to me if I wrote in this certain way about them but I want to do it immediately because I didn't think I would live through it and I kind of wanted to key and continue to help people so I waited for about two years and then I wrote the letters about everybody who did it to me mm-hmm and I knew they wouldn't die but I knew they would probably lose a position and what that does for the kids is make so they have to retrain adults to train the kids so why they're retraining the adults the kids that get a break and so I I did that before I left and that was the reason why I got locked up I got actually locked up in a room that my story is one of the truants like you're talking about some of the stories do get dramatized but my story is actually one of the very few true ones where I literally had the doorknob turned around where the lock was in the hallway and the two screws in the window the kind of window that you lift up and all right the reason why they did that to me is because I was trying to escape and I knew too much so I found some scissors and I unscrewed one side of this screw and this one wasn't pounding all the way so I just pounded on it until it broke off and then I didn't open any drawers I didn't take any pictures this pictures here are actually pictures that were secretly sent to me later by somebody who just decided to send them to me but I didn't get it open any drawers or take my ID or anything I didn't realize they even needed ID because I hadn't been in the real world for basically my whole life but I did realize that if I opened any drawers because I was told to lay down and read so if I open a drawers they would know that both screws were undone if I because because they knew I was pounding on the one and they knew it broke off and I stopped pounding obviously but I didn't realize I already got one out so if I just leave there's a chance they might think I laid down and read if I open all these things are gonna think oh well she's definitely dippin yeah so I had a lot of miracles from that day on people and the media usually say her story's a horror story before and it's a it's a too good to be true after my story like when I ran I I took side roads because I had tried to run the streets before and got picked up in the community so I took I went through the creek I went to a family that I knew was all X FLDS and had left and before I got there I ran through a yard and there was a lady outside meditating and she was dressed like people out here and she said can I help you and I was like yeah we helped me get to that house up there excited nor but she was dressed different she drove me up to where I was going and she's like should I go in and shed your sleep I said you might as well come in and she's actually the one who knew the organization's phone numbers the family I was running to her to recently left but they did help me they did drive me after a whole day of convincing them they didn't want to keep me themselves yeah they did but it was it would be hard because I knew how hard it was for me to escape in the past like I'd been brought back so many times I was like and no we need to leave town so after a whole day of convincing them they drove me halfway to the organisation and I was picked up by now my adoptive mom who who was in an organization helping people and I had never met her she was from a different group and she's brought me to her house that night and I stayed with her that night like I was desperate like I I knew I couldn't go to a family member that would be the first place they would look I did have a few brothers that had left but I knew they would look there mm-hm and they did chased me they put me on the missing list they every nonprofit that's out there has told me now they all got a phone call at least from one FLDS member saying she's crazy she needs us and there was two weeks before the experience where I climbed out the window and succeeded I went to Flagstaff Arizona and my brother brought me there and he had a business trip so he brought his whole family and he brought me too because I don't want to leave me home and he went in and talked to the police Oh actually I asked to talk to the police and so the police came and talked to him first and then they came to me and they said because of your mental state we've already signed a paper that says you have to go back and I was devastated I didn't understand what happened until like way later that's part of the epiphanies talking to people and stuff I believe the cult doctors game of my records and so the police force that usually to get your records on the outside you have to sign yeah and so them having my records they figured I had said Wow but I never had signed hmm so I believe if I would have got brought back even one more time I would have been like my rights would have been taken away like legally taken away so that I I wouldn't have ever been able to get out but because I ran and because organizations helped me there was one organization holding out help that is very successful but they brought me to a psyche like a doctor you know psychologist sort of her and got a signature say and she's healthy enough to make her choices so that if I did get caught on the streets cuz I didn't have a car you know I needed to do things I had to ride the bus and they were searching all the roads in Salt Lake and I was staying in domestic violence shelters and you know it was just a big for at least six months it was pretty hard and there was some one organization in particular I'm not going to name that name but they decided I really was crazy and tried to turn me back in and they were telling my family everywhere I was and so I had to draw all the organizations helping me and pick up different ones and my case manager at the domestic violence shelter helped me do that and drove me to a new one and then I got a call like three days later saying they're at our door the old shelter saying you're hiding here and we did search in the roads and and there was a girl who got kidnapped off the streets a police asset police officer got fired like there was so much stuff happening and then during that process a week later my father gets corrected mysteriously you know like hey they didn't tell him it was because of me but I think it was and he's told he could never come back to the church he lost his family he he's devastated you know he's he's trying to figure out his own life so I I get like two offers one was to go to a place that would charge like $1,000 a month that I could work for trade to pay if I wanted cult experts to help me or I could go to a family that was Christian family in Tennessee and I actually chose that one because it would be like I don't know it just felt better yeah it sounds better when you say like the cult experts to help you is that an aspect of like the deprogramming were they still with a stripper from a psychological standing somewhere that what was willing to take me in mm-hmm but I chose to go to the just the family mm-hm and I actually called the domestic violence shelters in that area because I'd grown to love some of the people and the culture in the rest a weather shelters because you know that was better then you know what I had had so and it felt safe somewhat so I called the shelters I'm like if anything goes wrong can I go there and they're like yeah we'll take care so I felt really confident and and the fact and the organization that presented that to me drove me all the way to Colorado so that I could and hid my identity in the airport so that it couldn't be tracked like a cure yeah and flew me to Tennessee and the family that took me and I I figured out later after I finally felt like ultimately okay you know like really safe and secure I and realized that I really did succeed I kind of went like into this PTSD like it was so overwhelming like yeah like crash down like you know you need to sort out this life you know time to process you're not in flight mode flight mode now it's time to process everything that's happened you four years of your life I could only yeah so I ended up not being able to handle the pressure of a family at that time because it was just too much to be like did you eat today you know everything because they really cared and I just couldn't handle that pressure so I ended up going to the domestic violence shelter and that worked out really well because what they did is they put me in a room that had the children's room was right outside the door and this room had a divider in it and they had two doors so the children would walk in the other room that was empty and look over the divider and asked me if I ate and children are like they have a different feel about and then you know they don't they don't always you know they don't have agendas it's a form of innocence yeah yeah so I would get my food and stuff you know it really helped me for the first six months I didn't I didn't have constant clarity Wow but then I started to I did get to where I had constant clarity and then I started to have like only like episodes about every six months and then I decided well what happened is when I changed my name I found somebody that knew how to do that they changed my name my social and I was legally adopted legally and all done right after it took two years one that I went through they didn't change my SSI over hmm so I couldn't pay my rent and there just happened to be like you know another miracle a pilot that had graduated from college from the FLDS who had some free tickets that gave to my attorney who helps fles specializes in helping fles mostly some free tickets if anybody in a crisis needs him and I just flew back to Salt Lake and stayed with a lady who took me in that was from the FLDS and had left and I I moved around a little bit with friends of hers when you know it's hard out here for all of us but during that timeframe I had another episode so it was a year and a half after I came back to Utah I took like medical billing and coding school and you know different things and I I had an episode after about a year and a half when I was first starting to date and that was really hard on me and I when I had my episode of what I do is I walk away from the house because I ran so much and they fles trying to get away and I don't use a car or anything I just like walk away from the house the police picked me up and brought me to the hospital and didn't tell anybody so my mother had to do a fire to find me and she had to choose between my old name and my new name and that fires on line two I think I can see pictures of it mmm but she chose my my new name because she knew if she put the old name on there yeah people know we're here yeah so she put my new name on there and it went through the Crick all my friends are like this is your picture this is your name what's going on I mean not your name but this is your picture and what's going on and so after that I didn't feel the need to just like hide it from everybody and I figured out that I had the opportunity to go and like I know a lot about the uep which is the land in courtesy the older compound mm-hmm I knew a lot about the land there way more than any land on the essence I don't know how to do real estate on the outside I've tried and it's it's hard for me mm-hmm but that land I knew everything about so I heard that um when I asked a bunch of questions and figured out that I probably could go and ask for Warren Jeffs house and I knew if I didn't go after it it would go to somebody else that probably wasn't affiliated with his family maybe probably affiliated with the religion but you know the Cole at least that maybe somebody that left but it wouldn't be like I I kind of pictured in my mind a dream of maybe helping people like having a place for them to transition Wow because I knew that holding out help they mostly do permanent housing they find families like foster care what they call host homes I knew that was happening but a lot of times when they don't have a bed available they don't have a lot of beds but at that time they didn't have any as far as I remember and if they don't have a bed immediately they would just go on a list and that doesn't work when you're in a crisis so I and also when I went to domestic violence shelters I had to lie to get into him because the funding was for into partner abuse and my partner was in jail so I had to tell him that it wasn't oranges like it was just some random person look how do you tell someone's like Warren Jeffs like other guy in the news like what yeah yeah I experienced in Tennessee like psychologists like laughing at me because I told them that I was married to orange ass and they don't know that I'm not in their backyard you know and they're like what you know and then I'd go back the next appointment they say I googled this it looks true our stories all the time and that was just a really new one that they so that it was really like a growing process I found it it has been a battle like but it's been fun like contrast cuz I have some always to compare with and also awesome I had now in my process like after hard work pays off yeah then you start to get more motivation and then I did meet Christians in Tennessee and I really loved I I started to learn a little bit about Christianity I loved how there was so much like love instead of judgment and I didn't know how that all worked but I I did figure out that they believed that it was a gift instead of from work Wow and so I actually got baptized X thinking that was the deciding factor because that's what I had grown up with mm-hmm and then I have a certificate and everything somewhere I should write it but it talks about that day and then I when I left I felt devastated because I wanted those Christians I didn't want every Christian because I'm really partial to ones that are succeeding yeah yeah anyway so I I just came back and I understand why I would have to leave them but I didn't research any Christians but when I did when I did go down and figure out like Warren Jeffs house it was 45 rooms it was you know I wasn't asked for it and on the paperwork I actually wrote they somebody was helping me and they said what do you want to call it you know just for this paperwork to look professional and I told them let's just call it the dream house hmm so they actually wrote on the paperwork the dream house Wow and I'd never heard of the training center and Wow yeah and so they when I asked him they were like no way like it's 45 rooms you even know what you're talking about you know like this is crazy you can't pay the power bill you can't pay the water real like it would be like you know a bad business thing for us yeah well I happen to have a friend in the room at the time who stood up and donated four houses to the cause because he wanted to be sure I got the opportunity and so they decided they had to kind of give me the opportunity they kind of came to that conclusion on their own and so I took the opportunity oh say no you're good you're good Oh anyway so we went through the whole process of finding a buyer I met some good Christians in in Cara City that introduced me to the people in the Dream Center and so now like the Short Creek Dream Center is helping and I work there like I it's a worldwide organization I work there and if you if you look up Short Creek Dream Center calm org okay org yeah then you can pull up my poetry link yes and you um and so you actually came down here you come down and volunteer at the dream Center down here - yeah which is really cool I mean it's funny me just because our apology a church which is this whole studio as a byproduct of apology at church but this came about initially because we plan a church out of a local drug and alcohol rehab facility called a cabaret diction Recovery Center and so we've actually worked a couple times we've had to work a couple of times alongside the Dream Center actually so we actually have a connection along with that background so it's always been an area that we've had as a church that's been near and dear to our hearts people having to go through a lot of times like recovering rehab through certain addictions and traumas and things like that at one time our church was roughly 90% people coming out of detox and rehab well you come up to them and say oh how do you write now because of our media audience people come up to us and say oh we'll say oh how do you know about apologia and I saw you guys on YouTube which can contrast that when he first started well how'd you know about apologia oh I just got out of Calvary I just got to rehab a week ago and that was roughly like 90% of our congregants so yeah that's a it's it's definitely a huge thing you know it's really cool that you're doing that for sure so I I'm just want to get some clarifying questions here so the house that Warren Jeffs used to own that at 45 rooms is now the Short Creek Dream Center yes okay so that's a beautiful picture of what God's done in your life yeah and I did sit down with those Christians and then explain the difference between baptism and just accepting the prayer of Jesus which was like huge for me I was like that's what I want I actually got baptized again like about a month ago just me to show you know after I accepted Jesus like yeah right the orderin yeah that is beautiful yeah like that is beautiful I'm still like amazed that a home that used to be Warren Jeffs this horrible pedophile cult leader who's still a cult leader that home is now a place for where people can go to get free from that organization like it's like it's like how God uses those things you know horrible there's horrible events that happen but God has purpose in things yeah they actually use that quote out of the Bible that says what was intended for evil yes God God meant for good to bring about his perfect in other words like behold I'm making all things new now I'm making all news not a bit not like I'm not making all new things yeah I'm making all things new right it wasn't torn down it was yeah renewed right yeah and I'm just thinking like now you're doing this and you and you see moments where you get to kind of do it and even let yourself getting in trouble for it getting the people and those people in trouble just so you can give those kids a break yeah and but now you get to kind of really do this on a precedent and scale but yeah things are going better and now so you're now remarried right yes I've been married three years now okay and I was fine and become I got my financial license and I'm coming like a financial adviser no sweetie and I am writing a book and I had this poem should I read yes yes you you write poetry tell them the website again of the poetry series poetry series we're gonna find that out Short Creek drain center org so you just all I have to do is pull it up and it will pop pop-up comes up yeah it says sign up if you want I'm on it right now yeah and so before you read this we'll post things on our social media do some read like do some research just in the FLDS let's go through the google images section look at those pictures of all the women with the exact same braids Zach same long dresses everything that they've been through and that's why we told you to is best to do this poem at the end because now people will see the real weight and feel of your story with this being told kind of a paraphrased version of something that might be familiar with so that being said I'm a gonna do okay I don't know how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad look at this stuff isn't it neat identical dresses and patterns that fit wouldn't you think I'm the girl the girl who has everything look at the groove keepin sweet makes numbness that's true my identities fake looking around here you think wow she's got everything i've got needles and pins all plenty i've got buttons and zippers and more you want children I've got twenty but who cares no big deal I want more I want to be where I get to choose I want to wear what I choose to wear girls walking around what's that word again jeans teaching home school if there was the time working with business tools never seeing a die maybe they'll what read out where they roam out where they danced out where they play and have fun wandering free wish I could be part of your world what would I give if I could live out in the real world what would I pay to spend a day trying things for the first time bet you out there they understand bet they don't punish on demand scolding cuz they're told who and what gets sold ready to stand ready to know what the world knows ask them my questions and get some answers what's a color in your hair like makeup what's the word style when is it my turn when I love love to explore that world with true freedom out of the cage which I was raised part of your world well yes and now you are part of our world now you're part of the part of the amazing series here at cultist being able to share this with the with the entire world sort of sense yeah that's that there's a there's a there's a little poetic truth to that no pun intended for sure well I I look forward to reading the book well you will have to have you on again and maybe talk about some of their aspect at some point in time when you come out here again so really grateful for you to come on and and I'm sure a lot of you were blessed by the story we'll be posting more stuff on our social medium regards to this and so definitely like share this episode share with your friends let them know this amazing and freakin story of one of the most really a beacon of light and this real sea of darkness of one of the most notorious cults in American history and now but there's still things are made new of it you have this dream Center that's being made out of what was initially is free it'll so incredible so all that being said thank you so much real for coming on absolute blessing so all that being said thank you guys for listening as always we need you to be part of the cultist crew to be a league of people like Brielle a voice will share her story the world so much more you want to do this upcoming year so go to the coal touch show com go to the donate tab you can donate one-time or monthly allow this program to continue that allow us to pay our staff and people we need to be able to get all this content out there a lot goes into these episodes and we're so grateful for all of you who have given and donated so please prayerfully consider that if you really enjoyed this episode so all that being said go ahead and again share this episode and we will talk to you guys next time on koltes where you enter into the kingdom of the cults talk to you all soon

Channel: Apologia Studios

Views: 107,104

Keywords: jeff durbin, apologia studios, apologia church, briell decker, warren jeffs documentary, warren jeffs, warren jeffs jail, warren jeffs trial, warren jeffs audio, mormon documentary, flds, flds community, flds documentary, jeff durbin mormon, pastor vs mormon, mormon general conference, mormon temple recording

Id: 6apsiQbgq3w

Length: 60min 55sec (3655 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 18 2020