Crotch Rot | Ep 3 | BloodBath w/ Annie & Esther & Khalyla

were you guys proud of me for when kyla was like i have some pants you can try on that i didn't go are you kidding [ __ ] are you serious no they're going to fit you they're these types they're the stretchy like one-size-fits-all i like that then why wasn't i offered them because it's ugly you're half my size esther and these are going to be real pants for you not um cut offs when esther said that she had short bell bottoms and we both thought about shorts styled in bell bottoms were the bells at the knees now i want to make that [Music] hello everyone and welcome to blood bath it's a show where there's no murder yet where we punch esther until she bleeds and we throw in a bathtub we may get into a fight because we disagree about everything but we're still best bud is blood bad welcome oh my god she also has like a little cotton mouth so it's asmr i really do whenever i think about the three of us for some reason i love referring to us as old fat [ __ ] it's like my addiction i don't know why i just love that we're we're just old fat just take it out of the haters mouths before they can try well it was interesting to see how everyone views themselves when we were trying to pick a name because we wanted [ __ ] beach and esther goes i've never i was like i've never been i'm not a [ __ ] i've never been caught on a [ __ ] i'm like i have single-handedly called you [ __ ] so many times that i why am i still wearing a mask you're just you're in the life because we even though we tested negative you we didn't get like gonorrhea tests so that's true she doesn't want esther's um crotch rot what do you call that uh crotch rod that's so funny the only other person i've ever say crotch rod is my dad wait what it's like from the 50s i know but is that was that just like an umbrella term for any and all stds i would just i think that it's usually i would assume it's more of a like an underwear is kind of stinky you mean a wednesday thursday no an itch i will say that different parts of the month um have different aromas right and also if i'm really anxious it also my body gives off a different it's the same you have the same glands in your armpits as the ones you do in like your pubic area and when you sweat when you're anxious it's a different smell than when you sweat when you're working out it says we're low self-esteem come get us you know here they go the three old [ __ ] talking about their rotting crotches right out the gate i was thinking like an athlete's foot of the crotch it's like guys would get it crotchrod's more of a man thing that's why i i feel like that's our log line three old horses yes it is three old fat [ __ ] but we like younger we look younger than we are but we'll remind you no that's that we're not that's why that's why it's because we're all hot and we are not old like that's why i like it also i just had to address a negative comment that was like look at them five minutes in there talking about their vaginas it's like sir yeah you talk about our vaginas let us talk about them but also do you have you had a girlfriend for longer than a week have you had a peer a girlfriend for one full month ever okay i'm okay i'm not i'm not i'm not doing well today because my car wouldn't start oh yeah what happened so that's annie had to drive over wait she calls me panicking she has her makeup done which is i'm panicking once i see her makeups and i go what are you okay did someone die or you're going somewhere important are you stepping in your casket has someone has someone done your makeup for your final departure um i just been embalmed [Laughter] i wanted to do it like while i'm still all right never mind so and she goes why is this happening you're because your car is from 1992. it's from 2001 which is in 1992 of 2000 2020. what's your make and model esther it's a uh 2001 toyota camry and it sounds exactly like this yeah that's moving but i'm really sad i've had this car you know this is the car i drove myself to ballet class in when i was 18 and i got my license two years late and now it's it didn't work it didn't start today so i'm i'm sad did you have your little ballet slippers on when you drove you have a little did you ever get your tutu stuck in the door we only wore tutus for our recitals not for class 18 year old ballerinas first of all exist no but i'm were you in a kid's ballerina class because of your height the first thing i did my car wouldn't start i called annie i'm like oh my god oh my god my car won't start and she was very nice she's like we'll come get you like you got part of it right it's triple a it's not call annie then i call my dad and of course my mom answers and i'm like my car won't start and she's a big smile on her face she's like oh i guess you have to get a new car but i'm not i'm not gonna i'm not giving up i'm gonna call triple a tomorrow is this the first time that it's ever broken down yes it's just she's acting like the car is done forever you ever had to jump your car your battery's dead yeah it's there's a good chance your battery's just dead we could have probably fixed it at the house when we picked you up really yeah i think i really do like i think that the car really um is your brand thank you yeah dented disgusting filled with trash it smells bad the smell nobody wants it the defender's hanging off it's not funny it's really unfun people get very serious around it i will say that when i got into it this morning i was like this smell has taken a turn in what direction like unmanageable direction like where the taco bell was ordered vegan style but then now it has cheese wow it's d vegan itself wait a second esther was this the very first car you purchased in your life no no and how old were you um i didn't so i was i never had a car in high school i still have dreams about it she couldn't they didn't have enough phone books like i still have dreams like how i wish i had a car so bad and i didn't have a car in college and we couldn't afford it and then when i quit school i was like i'm i'm going to land need a car i'm doing this with or without you and my dad it was like time for him to get a new car kind of because it was already 10 years old um so that's such a rude thing to do like i'm giving up on my dreams and making you proud and also give me a car how old were you guys when you got your licenses i was 16. i got it right away 18. and then when when did you actually start to drive drive because i know you live you lived in philly and in the city right and in chicago oh wait you weren't you're in skokie yeah skokie suburb so you have to drive around to get around home of the world's best bagels and pita in the best mediterranean food is that is that true yes mediterranean too yes it's so worth it if you were to be a food you would be a bagel or a pita there's nothing really there until you add something else what are you the cream cheese yeah i'm the creamy crusty cheese on everything but everything this season going back to the embalming esther when you embalmed yourself earlier before you walked i wanted to ask you guys what your thoughts are are on live funerals when people have their funerals before they pass have you ever heard of that um i think i saw it on empire records a living funeral yeah that's what it's called right a living funeral like the in weatherman with nicholas cage um where he basically hosts his dad's funeral and the dad attends and everyone's there so you hear every what everyone wants there were parting words for you oh my god the thought of a live funeral living funeral is very sad to me i like it makes me cringe i don't know i don't it makes me uncomfortable you don't want to see your child casket your baby you'd rather they talk about you afterwards well it's so sad everyone would be so sad do you think that they'd be that's really presumptuous your mom would be like this is a little easier for me i'll be real this is kind of nice yo but that's always what i wonder is someone more complimentary about you before you die or after you after that's what i'm saying so it's like wouldn't you want them to say to you know like they won't mean it until i'm gone exactly so it's it's a weird it's a fool's errand this is like a it's a it can't really ever be i like the idea of being the person that tells the truth at the funeral like you're just going to go like this person was like very mediocre i mean is that are you practicing my eulogy have you guys ever delivered a eulogy no oh but can i tell you about my grandfather's funeral so my grandfather died actually like four years ago like to the day pretty much that we're recording this maybe a few days and dave came to his funeral with me and we were sitting towards the front row my grandmother was in front of us and my aunt who is as you know his daughter gave a speech and she was kind of going on about like how he actually loved poetry and just kind of saying all this stuff and um [Music] and as soon as or no not i'm sorry before she right before she ended my grandma just sits there and we just me and dave hear her go way too much [Laughter] and to this day like and they're like me and dave were just laughing in the second row my grandfather's funeral and we always say it to each other now like randomly it's like our inside joke way too much because it's so it's so nasty to say to someone that's like giving a speech at their own dad's funeral it's so mean i do feel like if the spouse is alive though and someone dies you are performing for that it is about them yes it's not as much about the person like if my gra i've never did i he's like i'm not human grandparents funerals well you were born out of an egg right a shark egg i was incubated i was at the bottom of the sea that's why i like crab legs so much no but what were you going to say that it's the funeral it should be if the spouse is alive you should be just doing what they want you should be making them happy because they're next i actually i don't agree if it's your own like if if it's your maybe if you're i don't know i don't agree i can't yeah i guess yeah if one of my parents and i wouldn't be thinking about my other parents yeah because it's her daughter it'd be your moment at my dad that sounds very jazz hands i'm like all right hit it one two three at my dad's funeral um well it wasn't a real funeral funeral it was like a home service if you will um we had this woman her name was sister cleo so when i first when we first the psychic almost you know she kind of had the same she was a black woman she was really just the most loving affectionate woman but when we first came from the philippines my dad had fallen into step with like a nigerian mennonite church i don't know how or why but my first few months in america we're purely around this church like we would go to sunday testimonials like my sister would do like the ric flair dead man's job like to pretend like the spirit had had overtaken her so when my dad died um these people came over to her house maybe just like five of them and sister cleo insisted on singing amazing grace and you would think that you know she was gonna just you know have a stellar performance but she was so off-key my sister and i had to face the wall because we were crying we were crying we could not hold our laughter in that was the perfect time for your sister to pretend to be possessed just take over the show but do it on rhythm as you can follow her kalila i've been wanting to ask you something so annie and i both have old dads how old was your dad when you were born well it's actually sad because he was 42 i think when i was born but it felt like he was elderly 42. so mine was 44. and i feel like we've bonded we have really old dads but then kalila rolls up and how old was your dad when you were born not only is my dad dead and not only did he die he was the oldest man living on the earth before he went um you guys my dad was he was in world war ii he went through the great depression like he was born in 1924 so when he died he was 79 that was in 2003 but how old was he when he when you were born his car was only two years when i was [Laughter] when i was born he was already in he was 62. so you're like old sperm i am super old sperm that's why i think i have a lot of weird um that's why you're attracted to bobby lee probably i always use you know what there's never been a time where i've ever considered dating someone younger than me yeah i mean try it out try it out i've accidentally like i've definitely had sex with guys younger than me but never have i ever like even considered someone or having a life with someone younger same my um my friend said to me i was talking about i was like yeah i'm dating this this younger guy but i'll probably you know it's not gonna last because if i wanna have kids and get married i gotta go with an older guy and he goes where are the old ones are you kidding he goes you're so dumb he's like put them to work you got like a young one they'll do stuff here they send emails just get them going i have a steering wheel they're kids i'm like that is a great i was like it changed my whole perspective i have this theory that men don't this is a generalization not always true but men don't really respect women their own age they can only really respect women older than them or younger than them thoughts prayers i don't think that the guys that date young women respect them i think it's their they're going oh i'm going to get less i don't have to so dave doesn't respect me are you of course he doesn't who would yeah you know there is a sense of um you ain't [ __ ] vibe that i get from bobby really especially when he talks about pop culture um he just treats me like you young kids you wouldn't know yeah that vibe but you're right there is an heir of i'm better than you and i always will be yeah i had i dated a guy who was 12 years older than me and every thing i said he'd be like you'll understand your is bad if i'm attracted to you you're not doing well that's the worst i dated a guy when i was 22 and he was 37 that guy that narcissist we talked about and he would always use my age against me that i couldn't have met a more infantile man in my life but every time there was an argument it was always like yeah you're reacting that way because of your age i get it it's just so condescending yeah when i was in my 20s i dated a guy who was like oh i just he was he'd always say ugh like i wish i knew you when when you're 30 because you're going to be so much more mature i feel like i should call them and be like hey guys do you want to hear what happened to me my car broke down for the first time in my life i cried and called my dad wait no joke this is i can't believe him this is so weird i was on a date once with a guy who was much older that was so weird right that i met at the comedy store and scary no it's not someone you you know that's the scariest one i went on a date with an older man i met at the comedy stores the most terrifying lineup oh i have about 15 more stories like that and we were like trying to decide what movie to see and just i was must have just turned 21 like i was so still in the daughter mindset that i'm like i don't know what movie we should see hold on i'm gonna call my dad and i on the date i called my dad i was like dad like what's good and the guy that i was on the date with was just like that was weird and i like could not understand what he thought it was weird because you're [ __ ] up i know because i wouldn't call my dad at any point hey do you mind wait can you just take it out for one second i have to call my dad 21 were you still in your abercrombie um stage is she not in it look at her pants no because i saw a picture of you and i think we had the exact same skirt it was the one like that's like two layered little rocks yeah no that was when i was 16. i didn't wear skirts after i got to college the skirts didn't fit i have to be a diet person every time you've worn a skirt what you've worn a skirt twice in front of me i remember every time one was for your special and one was a couple months before and i filmed your set because like this is the weirdest thing ever when you look like a girl i'm in such shock what is this woman who is this wait but kalila so your dad was very old when you were made what was that like when i was a maid when you were when you were a maid when you were a maid that's why you had her he needed more help cleaning around the house did you how did that affect you like were you like oh my god my dad's so old he's gonna die i was so embarrassed for him to come pick me up in school or do any of the pta stuff and i would lie and say yeah that's my grandpa i weirdly had a thing with my dad where you said pt i was thinking of pedia when my dad would hold my hand so young i would be and we're in we're not in los angeles but i was like i don't want people to think i'm dating this old man i just had that thought in my head i used to have a joke about that yeah because where people when i was with my dad in the midwest people thought he was my grandfather but then in late i thought it was my boyfriend which like that joke still work it still stands it does it's so weird it's a strange thing it's also even stranger to be a product of such a large age gap because i never want to think of my parents in that way where you're like oh yeah um he was just a really opportunistic old man that landed in the philippines have we talked about this no so like this is a massive insecurity of mine so i when i look at older white men and young filipinas in the philippines you see that a lot right it's kind of like a not a mail order bride but they actually go over there they don't get mailed here they do 90 day fiance they do it right they get on tv yeah so i always i cringe at all of those uh anytime i see that but then i i keep thinking that [ __ ] like from afar i am a product of that kind of love and thankfully my i really do believe my mom and dad genuinely loved each other but still it's like no one's gonna know that they're they're just gonna look at it from afar and be like ooh like 30 old white man with you know young filipina but could you use it as a way to stop your judgment towards those relationships of other people because who cares what other people think right no because there really is like a disproportionate amount of amount of really disgusting old men that just kind of like view young filipinas as like their vacation or their like last desperate ditch at like being with a woman and they're preying on the fact that these women are so like financially like um like you know they're it's a third world country so they're like oh yeah um her desperation to get out of there is my in and so yeah it's it's it's it's complex and i think that there is something to be had for both of them they're both being opportunistic i just don't know if if i like it well were you close with your dad um it was hard to get close to someone born in 1924 wow his walker was in the way with a tennis ball no he was such a cool guy he was a linguist he was so well traveled he was brilliant he had an iq that um no one in my family could ever match um i he was just a brilliant man but because of that he was just a little colder not quite i'm sure he meant to be warm but you just it's just too big of a generation his skin was thinning so he was just very chilly he was like i'm cold please i think you're thinking of me are you closer elderly are you closer to your moms or dads i'm close to my closer to my dad but i'm definitely i've been on a mom kick very close very close to both in very different ways but i would say everyone calls me like minnie mo like because my dad's name is mori everyone says i'm like exactly him and like a female version so i like to think i have a little bit of my mom's looks but then with my dad's scams are you you must be very close with your mom though i i don't have a choice i only have one you know living parent at this point i feel similar though like my parents are 15 years apart my dad's 15 years older than my mom and i there's something like creepy about that and my dad always talks about like and i appreciate his honesty about it he's like you know when you're a young guy you always think you can do better so he never wanted to get married and settle down and so it's weird to like think of how old were they though when they got together how old was your dad uh he was probably like 43 when they got together and then my mom wanted to get married and he didn't want to so they broke up and then oh my god and what did she do no she didn't do an ultimatum well no she did and then it didn't work she said like i want to get married let's break they broke up and then his they didn't speak for like six months and his mom passed away and my mom is like such a sweet just very sweet to everyone esther though yes correct and so she called him and she was like um i'm really sorry you know my condolences and my dad was just like what are you doing and she's like what do you mean he's like come over and then this famous story i can't believe i'm telling us this is that is this sex then that night he he was like i i want to like be with you and get married and she was like i don't believe you and he's like i'll prove it to you and you know what happened [Laughter] no baby esther was made oh that night yes you're a funeral baby i don't know if it was like it was probably shiva hey guys say hi to lenny that's my raven what oh god she's a witch we know it yeah too good to be those are my two ravens they live right above us i feed them i throw raw meat on top raw meat you don't even feed them vegan that's so rude well they don't want vegan that's not a choice i make for them listen esther has some newly de-veganed food in her car back at her house we'll have to go pick some up please take it off my hand esther wow there was a big proclamation of love and then it was insemination right after yeah it was like a proof that they'll be together so yeah and you have been so annoying that they have had to stay together neither of them can handle you on their own that you've bound them so they got married at a courthouse while my mom was a few months pregnant with me by a blind judge a blind judge yeah oh i like that i wonder if it's if it counts if they couldn't see it a witness did they wait for him like he had a waiting list that's why it was a couple months the bloodbath babes are here to talk to you about blue chew blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as viagra and cialis but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost if you have trouble swallowing blue chews tablets combat all forms of ed and can help men gain extra confidence for when it's time to perform blue chew is an online prescription service so no visits 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because cafe gratitude this like very cold restaurant makes all their workers sign up for it and it's supposed to be this like scam thing but you've told me that you've not only done it you your parents do it can you explain what it is and if it was 18 years my parents have been doing landmark 18 years they're still fully committed mm-hmm what is that what it what's going on i'm terrified of landmark okay one of you needs to tell me what it is okay it's a it's a seminar series so you go for a weekend you go for i think it's friday saturday sunday and then you come back monday or tuesday it's four days i think and it cost back in the day it costs i think it costs like 800 dollars i mean i'm not about to sign up no no these are all important these are should we just individually different times we can't all bunk there together but we have to go at different times it's not kala tell me what it is because this is what i know at least about the hoffman institute which is sort of like it jumped off from landmark it came from est which was in the 70s which has gotten a lot of trouble because they weren't letting people pee or go to the bathroom and stuff it's the idea that you basically break down somebody psychologically so that you rebuild them so it's basic it the end goal is to eliminate trauma 10 years worth of trauma in like a couple days right or in like a week i recommend ayahuasca's way more fun and so like i hear that you do a role-playing game like you're a pig like you do farm animal stuff but what i found most sketch is that when i look at the sites they never list the qualifications of any of the people working there in fact they don't even list the names and it is so much money so it's like i think they prey on people's like rich people's like desperation yeah 100 it's so there's no farm animal things unless that's a new thing that they started doing but they have a landmark forum leader and you're all in this room there's nothing on the walls there's all uniform chairs that aren't very comfortable they give you like a big pen and a form you know so everything's very there's nothing else yeah and they just do a a bunch of stuff and and you fight it and people fight it and then they call it you have a breakthrough it's like your popcorn moment or something it's called something i i did it when i was 19 so it was forever so it's is it like a culti scam thing i think it like where it becomes if it was just one weekend and they didn't pressure you to keep coming back and to bring more people i would say yes i would say that it's or no that it's it's just like a weekend a weekend of like intense therapy like stuff with people that are not qualified but they aren't but your parents are still doing it right because what they do is then you have this feeling of euphoria where they pretty much at the end they tell you that your life is empty and meaningless and and then that you have nothing so then you choose everything so it was to the point where i okay so at the end you're supposed to whenever you have a any relationship that you feel is not where you want it to be or you've had any falling outs with people you're supposed to find your fault in that and they give you a formula like i was doing this and i would get this from it but the cost was this and now i want to create the possibility of this so you're now going into these conversations with people who may not really deserve to talk to you or may not be someone that you even need to speak to ever and again and you're coming to them with a formula it is good to accept your responsibility and things but i was to the point where i was going to call my teacher who assaulted me oh my god i apologized and and there's no one to tell me not to do there's no like psychologist to be like don't do that so i was about to this it was three years after all that happened so i was about to call him and apologize to him for making a big deal out of things because life is just these are all their stories yeah do you know what i mean so that's where it was really to me very dangerous and they do it for kids they do landmark form for for young people that to me is really scary i don't think you should be putting like formulas in kids heads i think you want to let them develop do you feel like your parents are in some kind of a cult right now i used to be really upset about it and i the reason i left landmark was because well i started to feel like their words were in my head i didn't like having other like why would someone else's words be in my head you know and they go there's no right and wrong but if there's no right and wrong why did you tell me what i'm supposed to say to people and what is the point of like even even that invalidates all of your feeling of feeling wrong about something i think you can write about situations but i think it can help people if they're at a specific place you know like it certainly doesn't go that's what that's what probably dark for everyone like there is no to me there's not like a clear science behind it and like that always worries me it just sounds to me very um um i guess evangelical yeah like where there is a degree of brainwashing involved and there is a degree of like really really um breaking someone down to the point where it's like that then they become the only like salvation yeah is landmark and um i find that to be really predatory and i think but the thing that where it gets bad is where they go and you need to like and come back and if you don't have money they go why are you letting money stop you you know get them like that's you know so that's not good and then um they go all these people they've broken relationships with bring them on tuesday night to the and then they give them an introduction so it's like they're essentially sucking all these people in yeah so then it's like you bring people and then they really pressure you to bring people have you enrolled people who have you enrolled my mom would go to our neighbor's house we were the worst neighbors okay i love my family and we're [ __ ] crazy and we've been through a bunch of [ __ ] but when i left and i looked back and i go oh we were the problem like by far we were the trash people like we we lived in a really nice suburb of philadelphia and and we were hell we were trapped i mean we were loud we slammed the door we screamed we we were my parents let us throw parties they said like teenagers party you know it was just it was wild and then my neighbors wouldn't like us because of that and then my mom would go over and we would make it like they're wrong you know as a family be like they're so stuck up they're not fun or whatever but really they're just raising young kids around like they don't want their kids looking at these like drunk teenagers and stuff like that so my like we didn't walk our dog we just let our dog out what people would bring the dog back we'd be like we let her out we don't walk her she's just be running in the streets and they were like your dog's eating our garden who cares get over it which is funny because it has made me completely unhinged and i think makes me funny but it is and i that's how i look at everything now i go i just try to look at where it's i'm very happy with my current position but anyway so my mom would go to our neighbor's house and go i really think you should come to land so it's like she's telling this person she has something wrong with them with her yeah and she would go again and again it's like mom you psycho like stop doing it and then so i i did it with my parents and they finally talked me into it and i did it with them and i felt that thing and then i was like i'm going to call my teacher and you know like all these kind of it was an unsafe area for me and then i went back to new mexico to school and i started doing it in new mexico i just see them as like herbalife or doterra there's a lot of multi-level multi-level markers a lot of people do herbalife at landmark and doterra right it's like that same that same exact formula and they probably took that formula from landmark because it was landmark took it from other people i mean it's all a lot of politicism and gestaltian theories and yeah but so my parents i had ended up having a falling out with my parents because i i said to my mom i was like well you need to choose between me and landmark at this point and my mom and i was like damn dude so then i didn't talk to her for a couple months and that was really i would say that was like the worst time of my life not talking to myself that's like um in scientology when they call you an sb like a suppressive person you were technically yeah the suppressed person years my parents would and what really upset me after i left and then we decided to come back and i just you know actually one of the things in landmark they say is you just they go like chocolate vanilla chews like you have to just choose like chocolate like you just choose either you have this or you don't i know what the [ __ ] twist there's no strawberry are you kidding me but um so kind of just like you either like have your parents the way they are or you don't have your parents wow and i did you know like i do feel that way a lot with my parents were and i've i've i know a lot about my parents and i've grown a lot so i do i have a lot of compassion for them and the choices that they've made and i just choose to like love them no matter what yeah just continue my relationship with them because i i'm obsessed with them and i love them i respect that and it was so bad when i wasn't talking about i would wake up crying every morning it was so bad people making me like sad even thinking about it was so bad i really understand that a lot of times people will say to me like you're so lucky you're so close with your parents and i always think like you know that's like something that i've really made happen yeah that is i've made that happen totally like i work for it i accept things they accept like it's not just like oh perfect family yeah well we saw your special nobody thinks that we're like oh my god but do it does any part of you at least feel because i remember you said that in quarantine like your parents are doing great because they're i came to this is the conclusion i came to after all of this because my brothers were getting upset too we're like why are they spending all their money on this [ __ ] these programs like my parents work for them well my dad doesn't but my mom volunteers and works and then is still paying so she's paying to work for them it's they've convinced her but i look at it they're they're trying to become better people at all times my dad is spending two thousand dollars on an add seminar that he's all excited about he's 79 years old he's like i'm the oldest person by far in this but he's still trying to like get a hold of his lady like i do love that they're still always trying to be better and and work on themselves and that's the conclusion i came to and it's just there's no reason to fight it because they won't choose you [Laughter] you just accept it so it really was um it took a while but my brothers they don't get mad about it anymore it's just max never did it my older brother did it and we all are just kind of like all right how are you still doing this but they're happy they're busy during quarantine that's what i wanted to ask i mean like i've i've seen videos of you guys you and your dad and your mom and they just look like really chipper silly people and so i i think that ultimately it's like you kind of allow people their own path to happiness if it doesn't work for you hopefully you can just like accept it in a radical way and just yeah you can only scream at them that they dropped you have to get raped so many times before you realize they're chipper they're never going to accept this they're just going to continue being chipper they meant what they did when i talked to my mom about like do you regret beating me and the answer that i've yearned for years is like for her to get on her knees and beg for my forgiveness but she was just like thems were the time yeah they can't they can't my mother my mother when i was like why did you let me um allow me to sleep over at my teacher's house and my mom goes wait okay so okay sorry let me yeah there was a whole thing i was being groomed and my parents were like this is so cool free grooming oh my god your hair's getting cut no mom it's different they're giving me drugs but but when i when i was trying when i was really dealing with all my drama or my trauma i was saying to them i was like mom just why like if you think back knowing what you know now would you let me would you take me there and she's like that's just how it was back then kids were sleeping over at their teachers houses and i'm like what i'm like mom you went to boarding school you [ __ ] you went to boarding school the teachers lived on campus it's not the same but by the way years later she found out she goes oh the weirdest thing i just found out she went to a a um all girls school in new york sleepover school what do you call boarding school in new york and she never she was like yeah there was this cool teacher that all the cool girls got to go hang out at his house and i was always so jealous okay and she was i just never was invited and i felt like such a loser shoes i just found out they were all being molested by him so she had felt left out so she lived through you she was thought she was doing me the salad of letting me be one of these cool girls which it did make me cool i'll give you that i'm pretty [ __ ] cool [Laughter] i ain't basic that's so funny you know i got teacher jazzed out of basic i never slept over a teacher's house well my step-dad is actually my history teacher so that would be weird but do you guys find it weird that my mom and step-dad dated after my father passed away and my stepdad roger he was my high school history teacher but i had sex with my step-brother what is that weird i thought you were just gonna say was it weird that that your stepdad knew your dad not that you oh my god this is pornographic now isn't it i've always felt kind of cringe about it but i thought looking back i'm like no like we were friends first it's like my mom this is like a bad this is like the bad twist in the movie wait you guys this is just our parents are getting married it's just clueless when i watch clueless and paul rudd it makes me feel better yeah um so i don't it's okay but looking back now because this is when they weren't that serious they were dating but they weren't living oh they already were dating they were already dating that's going to happen they were invested there's still any vibes between you and your stepbrother he's he he killed himself oh copy that so so yeah that's how bad it was i think that one of the reasons that i kind of just wanted to separate myself and or not be friends with him when they did start living together was because i felt really gross about it for a long time i think that that's normal where i'm like now you're actually supposed to be my brother but like you know we [ __ ] like a lot of times was it when it wasn't when they were living together you said they weren't living together yet but they were definitely dating guys was it like they would go to one house and you would go to the other house um no i would i mean they would be there like having dinner and i'd be like oh me and you know we're just gonna hang out i like it i think it's rebellious i think it's like you know what also may i add that um in high school i wanted nothing to do with any boy that wasn't a virgin like i felt really safe because i had this weird thing about sdds so it was like oh if i only have sex with um virgins not only will i be remembered in their brains forever but i will absolutely avoid stds completely because i had a paranoia about it i had the opposite wow was i std chasing i was like have you [ __ ] a hundred women i'm ready it's just funny because you always hear like the sick guys that like only want a pure virgin but like and we've met one i'm a sick guy yeah that's that's me i need it to be clean and pure for you and shy and weak and i just was so hyper sexual that that i had a type and i now i looking back i'm like gosh like that seems um kind of creepy but it seems like a fear of vulnerability and a fear of like you would be in full control of that they're not going to hurt you yeah and the std wise too like they're not going to hurt you physically they're not going to hurt you emotionally you'll have control which could have a lot to do with your parents age your parents age difference too you're not wanting to be like have like a more powerful is that still your type um virgins shy bobby does a shy character no it really does i told bobby that he would have been someone i would have absolutely had sex with why just because he was so he called himself super unfuckable very just not great with girls that i would you would have been on my radar 100 i liked fat boys on bmx i liked fat boys with no cars and bmx bikes and they would lurk in my bushes well listen it let's be real it does feel good to be like do a favor like where they're like psyched yeah or they're like [ __ ] exactly but then they'd always i would date the fat guys and then they would be so mean to me and i'm like i am giving you a gift and then after me their girlfriends would always be like way hotter than they should have gotten because i upped their like it's for life you give them something for life yeah you give them that confidence to know that they can that the the world is their oyster and they can get any woman of their choosing so you are being charitable in that way i think that's god's work you're boosting their confidence to say you can have anybody but then it boosts too high i mean it always backfired i'm like okay [ __ ] mean making my mom cry piece of [ __ ] oh you guys i wanted to tell you since you talked about being um [ __ ] with with a teacher yeah um this is what i wanted to say so i have never been i've never had relations with a teacher but once because your mom was dating all right but possibly worse is i was this was the third time that i was locked up and put in a 150 150 hold what 5150 hold as if you are i dream yeah i know what it is but you had it three times it's on esther's vision board because i was a really you know i was as annie puts it i was a refugee you're a [ __ ] refugee i had come to the you know from the philippines and america was really new to me um i had a dying father obviously because he was 97 000 years old and i was new to this country so i was a really depressed teenager i just couldn't find my bearings in america and a lot of a lot of times i try to kill myself and i would od but the third time that i i were you trying to die die or were you trying i was trying to die die oh god i was trying to absolutely like be gone i just could not call if she died we'd be so poor let's have a funeral let's do her life funeral her live funeral no this is making me sad but i wanted to tell you there's a twist of this you should be sad more often honestly it's shocking you're not sad all the time when i was at the last time i was locked up i was locked up in this place in torrance for three weeks and all the girls had a crush on one of he wasn't a therapist he did run group therapy on occasion but i think he was more like right below like a social worker so he just worked in this facility with oh i know where this is going and i'm getting so mad and all the girls i'm getting turned on all the girls thought he was so hot and i was just so in a spiraling down that i didn't pay attention but on the day that i finally got out of there he helped me pack my things and um before i left he slipped me his number oh and i was 17. this is right before i left for college and i could not help myself i was so enamored by his aeropostale shirt and immediately i called him and we hooked up a lot of times he had kids he was single he was a single dad but it was like [Laughter] you always hook up a lot of times a lot of times always i've never had a boy have sex with me and never call i don't think i've had it either but i've definitely ended it yeah yeah yeah like i call them mini romances but i had a mini romance a very inappropriate one with this man and um i i never thought it was wrong at all like there wasn't a part of me that thought oh yeah this is this shouldn't be allowed but you guys he was in a psych facility he worked in a psychiatric facility and he slipped me his number that's in los angeles you know what i mean so it's like these are the stories that we just don't know are happening every day that's such an abusive power i always feel like because i went to a bad kid's school that we were preyed upon because we were kids at risk so that we weren't trustworthy yeah no they always go like child molesters they they don't go for like the rich kids they go for the broken down ones oh my god do you want to hear something that i i got a dm from a kid that is currently going to my high school and he said i thought your high school no it did not get shut down nothing happened my parents were donating money to it until two years ago and i was like are you donating money to the school that molested me i just can't believe that they're just in denial it's like they're never gonna accept it but but i so not only did i have my experience with my teacher i there's just so many have unfolded and my graduating class was 17 students it was a it's a very small school so like a few people didn't get [ __ ] and i feel really that is like so embarrassing it was me yeah you would have been the one that slid by but it is like like one so another one of our teachers just got caught he was the disciplinarian and he was the one that i looked back at my school and i went at least he like he believed in us enough to like have rules and give us punishments which we never actually were punished but he was just a little mean to us and then it just came out that he they found all this kiddie porn on him and he had like from infants to seven-year-olds so we just weren't as type was the only reason oh my god but it was just so bad i mean it's only he had said eyes on me you could have gotten your diddle but it so then i'm like this [ __ ] school and then people were because i talked about my experience on on marin's podcast now i've never heard it yeah you'll tell it to us next week yeah i just get something like that i just get a little sometimes it gets me a little too i get a little too in it but you know what we have the we have years to the rest of our lives so everyone had heard it so the you know there's a group of people that know about this but so people always tag me when there's a new molester so on facebook it was like oh my god another one of the [ __ ] teachers and then some of the kids were like oh my god i didn't know they and was like oh honey pizza we did call you pizza face for a reason like all of us got diddle even my friend i have a friend who i don't want to tell his story i'm sure he'd be okay with it but he wrote a book about how great the school was and then we became friends years later we were enemies in high school we became friends years later and he heard my story i didn't even like notice that was happening he was i really wish i'd known that before i wrote this book and then he his mom told him that one of his like mentor teachers had been writing him love letters and and had the reason he left our school is because they confronted him and he admitted that he was in love with my friend and he fled to another school like they never arrested and he was all about like hush-hush yeah so anyway so i got this dm from this kid the other day and he he was like i'm a current student at the school and i've heard on podcast what happened no one at the school knows any of this there's no public record i don't know why there's no record of this my parents probably signed a deal that was like sure we'll keep it a secret as long as you traumatize our daughter a little bit more just make sure you [ __ ] her up for a couple more months and we'll but so so he was like i don't know what to do with this information he sent me his school id so i know he's like i feel like everyone should know he's like i've always felt like there was something really shady going on it feels racist like all this stuff and i i just don't even know what to say i don't i don't feel comfortable talking to a kid by the way anyone under 18 i'm not speaking dm me please master esther you don't have skokie didn't have diddlers not i know nothing of that unless they hit on her now no i did not have that i mean yeah i don't really have my trauma doesn't feel so real when i talk to other comedians oh my god when i okay i went on a date with this guy who's a comedian and we were sharing our like trauma stories we're in his hot tub and i just got done i was like yeah and they dropped me off to get raped and they're still donating to the school but it's fine you know whatever it'll be okay like i love them vanilla chocolate chews and he's like oh yeah when i was little my mom i won um class clown and i was so embarrassed by that and my mom um was so proud that i was class clown that she put like a clown in my room he's like can you believe she did that i was like i was like in every hole in every hole looking at him like oh my and he literally lives away more [ __ ] up unhappy that man doesn't sleep sometimes i do worry about that in therapy because i have a specific i have a a therapist who handles specifically a certain type of trauma um and sometimes i wonder if she just looks at me and says you are not that important like you're you'd absolutely like you should see my other patients yeah it's all relative though and i think i think it's healthy to have that feeling though yourself because we should be kind of but i heard that like there is such a thing as like toxic positivity when you tell other people like oh you know it could be worse yeah look at that person like i just don't think that that's the thing you have three meals exactly or like when i last year when i had my serious depression function like you have several meals a day i had a friend that was like just get outside exercise get in the sunlight that's the funniest thing i'm not a plant i don't know like but i am physically a plant and not able to exercise you know that's right yeah and that's another thing too like anytime they put like tips for anxiety or panic attacks like they don't consider the fact that like even from you i was talking to my therapist yesterday i was like look i know that we are learning all of these coping mechanisms and while i employ them sometimes and they work there are times when i'm so panicked that i'm frozen and if i feel like i feel like if i get out of this position like doom will happen you know so it's like i can't even get up and walk across the room much less [ __ ] exercise no like i hate that like i just don't like this um you know on instagram where they just put bullet points and i'm like there's so much missing context there it's not that simple this is what i want to talk more about because i ended up starting lexapro an antidepressant for anxiety and it i couldn't be better on it and that's why like the people that say like just take a deep breath i'm like no there's something wrong with my brain and like i took take medicine not just your brain don't forget the crotch rod do we want to take a banana break yes let's take a banana break [Music] [Laughter] oh my god she hates that you've made her i know this is her molested i really don't do you know because it actually was a lot like that for being molested just hold it i don't want to um when i was little my grandma gave me a doll for christmas and i was so anti-girly stuff and hated the dolls so much that i made i threw a big fit and i said when we drive home the doll has to be in the trunk and they put you in there instead i think that's why my grandma i feel like that moment was when my grandma was like i'm done with this [ __ ] you can't make me she died she's like i'm dying you can't make me laugh when i'm eating a banana because all the mush we picked the most phallic snack also i really you the way you any one normal person that's the correct way to eat a banana i just want to say that first but i cannot stand how people eat bananas how do they eat them i cannot have saliva touching my next bite oh okay so what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to cut like that like so and then you're supposed to uh section them out now you're touching it no no no you're sectioning them off there so there's no saliva on either end this is crazy there's a way but who did you come up with this i i think i don't like dried saliva on food even if it's my own i have lipstick on all my [ __ ] so just so the listeners know we decided we're gonna do banana breaks so when things get too intense and crazy we're just going to have something they just left me hanging earlier [Laughter] you could have called the banana break we're just gonna we're just gonna chill maybe be quiet maybe annie will shut the [ __ ] up for a minute and eat a banana i actually don't like bananas so cause other people do because it would be easy if she liked them i don't know i just don't really like them so i guess her grandmother gave her banana and a doll producer george is gonna have to figure out the special treat for esther for next time oh my god it's gonna be the most annoying treat get all the messiest food like a really powdered mochi um so we're just gonna chill in the banana break zone how's everybody feeling but like i honestly i couldn't agree with this banana break i love it i am a potassium freak i get heart palpitations and anxiety so when i have a potassium refill i'm a whole new woman wow i wish you could know this joy esther maybe i'll find maybe i'll research what else has potassium a potassium supplement but you know the they're the worst because they're this big but carlos is out of town how are you gonna get him to do that for you i love that last week's conversation about shitpile i really thought about that for a long time why i bring it up every day i'm like you know what i realized i'm so glad you bring that up everyone that is in my life is in my [ __ ] pile she's either trying to no there's only like being obsessed with these because she's trying to [ __ ] pile you yeah you're all it's but my parents are my [ __ ] pile my fiance is my [ __ ] pile everybody's my sh my that's me i'm in my house i'm crawling out of that [ __ ] pile dude i'm getting off dude i'm getting you get you get no access to me and you're done you'll be begging for me again i want all my loved ones covered in [ __ ] boy you want to give us a ride in that car wait esther i'm so proud of you number one for i hate the way eating banana sounds on a mic though so i'm just going to put that out there [Laughter] i'm really proud of you for hanging on to that car for a long time my first car in america that i owned at 24 was a camry as well but i traded it in for an expedition because i i was living in long beach at that time and i thought it was more living i wanted to be you know more hood and i was like camry's not gonna gonna cut it but um eventually got him pounded but i don't own a car you know nothing more than that nothing more hood than getting your car and pounded that's good you got to rack up the you have to rack the tickets up so high that it's it's not worth it to get your car back from from the pound when i first moved to la and i was living in my rent-a-wreck which esther knows i was driving around in a [ __ ] like dented neon do you remember the like silver i'll never forget the smell it had the new car but it was a fake new car smell like you could tell someone just been chain smoking in it and by the way rent-a-wreck is such a [ __ ] racket it's so expensive it's like long-term rentals for cars but they just give you like a shitty dented car but i like i remember doing the math i mean like this costs the same as if i rented a brand new car it's just the only benefit was that i could crash it nobody would know do they still do rent-a-rack i don't know ever since i stopped living in my car they couldn't but i remember i was living in the car like sleeping in the car and sleep at my friend's house when i could and then if i couldn't whatever and then um i got so many tickets that i it was equaled rent it equaled rent i was like i should have just gotten a [ __ ] apartment i should have like lived with esther and naomi that's like bobby um renting a car from enterprise for like a year and a half and he racked up like 29 000. i can't it's my favorite story like i know here's here's where bobby is actually not at fault i knew these things about him before i dated him before i made it official and yet i jumped in [ __ ] you know heart first and now i'm complaining you know what i mean it's not fair to him i i knew what what kind of human being he was i should have just you know i always look at it like we're just um tumbling through some of us just tumble through life like sometimes i just come to and i'm like what the [ __ ] have i been doing like i just i'm not even paying attention you know what i will say annie the reason that you and i have just been such kindred spirits like i feel so deeply connected to you so fast is the same reason that i am so in love with bobby i just are you getting horny i just love i have a type i have a type and that is like you guys are freaks cut from a similar cloth where it's like even after if you're you are very different from each other but there is this like like there is you still fall under a certain type that makes a lot of sense to me and i feel like is more trustworthy like i can just say whatever i want to say without judgment and i can just get there fast with you i can tell you about my life and you're not going to be like it's very informal like we're an informal bunch like once you get into banners raised by wolves yeah just really yeah wild but also it's comedy why are we gonna why would we do this what's the uh time situation why did you want to know because i'm cold oh i'm driving you home [ __ ] you are you go home when i say you're in my [ __ ] pile today [ __ ] she's gonna like break quarantine and go to get an uber with heated seats yeah i'm so i'm gonna can i take a bath there's enough there's enough uh old clothes in my bag do you want me to ask giuliana to run you a hot pie the pool is really warm yeah it's really warm oh cozy [Laughter] can i be open about what my insecurities are right now yeah yeah yeah i feel and this happens to me every time i get serious i feel like i'm not being funny i'm not doing it no no any i'm telling you like i even me never hearing some of your stuff before like i feel absolutely honored and interested and riveted and sad and all of the gamut of of emotions um when i listen to your stories and i think they're really important it's so important it's i don't think you should feel we were joking throughout it too yeah yeah usually when i listen back i go okay there were enough jokes because you've you you've lived it you've um talked about it and you've relived it over and over again so it doesn't feel exciting for you to talk about obviously who the [ __ ] is excited about talking just like people are like on their treadmills listening to my rape all the time i'm like oh my god like how many [ __ ] they're like i could go [ __ ] five miles listen to this [ __ ] it's just like it's gross and then there's i you know i i do read the comments and then i get the people that are like oh my god we do this [ __ ] sad story i'm like i don't want to tell it anymore i wish i didn't notice no i just want to know about landmark i don't know but it does it always leads into that it's my mom wrote a book about me i mean there's like a lot of there's a lot of stuff there's juice to be on that's what i wanted to ask you guys do you think that um someone can be truly inherently funny without any type of trauma or painful existence i don't i hate being that person that's like you're only funny if this and that like i don't like having hard and fast rules about that i would say that if someone never drank there's a trauma something traumatic happened for that did you have an alcoholic parent though i've never drank you know that yeah but you're are you saying you're not a traumatized weird [ __ ] up person are you as you're as clean as dalia pre finding out he wasn't clean no i i my parents never drank and so it just wasn't like a part of the culture in my house and my grandma's an alcoholic yeah she still is but that i'm saying it stems from like a there's usually like a you can trace it back to it a thing but also i i think i i don't i would just i just have had such a crazy life that i can't imagine not being had trauma and i don't know that maybe not having trauma especially in this world where everyone's like my trauma my trauma every podcast you've gone is fun like tell me the worst thing that's ever happened to him like jesus nice to meet you but okay i don't know what do you think kala um i bobby always talks about this theory as to why he thinks like koreans and filipinos are inherently more what he considers funnier than let's say like chinese or like oh my god i love japanese people yeah the inter-asian comparisons and he says it's basically it's a historical um it's a historical thing where it's like you know if you've been colonized and if you've been raped and pillaged as a culture you cannot like comedy is its survival like that's why i find like the filipino spirit to be so um like it i have never seen anything like it like their homes could be ravaged roofs off from like a typhoon and the next day they're happily like swimming in flood water and the kids are playing and everyone is just like it's okay it's mother nature we'll rebuild like there's so much joy there and for a third world country there is more joy there than there is in america like everyone when i first came here the one thing i said was there are so many rules and everybody is sad and angry like that was my observation as a teenager and i missed the joy of back home even with so that's bobby's theory is that funny does come it has to come from a pain whether you're conscious about it or you're not well i think it's a defense mechanism also just similar like jewish people are tend to be funny and yes you know we had our little thing and you know hitler really he had a good point i mean he was like they're getting a little sluggish on their punch lines they're slowing down we're gonna need to really bring them up it was like it was like going to ucb for five five five level five i don't have the energy to fight that right now guys i'm so [ __ ] cold i'm so [ __ ] cold that this part you should be grateful you're cold your people were very hot every time andrew andrew letterman i need a [ __ ] blanket someone needs to give me a blanket i'm gonna freeze i gotta get out of here this is my favorite part of the episode if anyone's wondering this is the clip just esther's screaming do the wap dance now esther generate she can't help it she can't not do the whop crush the headphones make it worth it okay we could we could rap it's been a pleasure as always um thank you annie for for your landmark stories yeah i feel like we gave people a lot of spank bank today kelila had sex with her brother yeah that actually is and he had sex with her teacher no i didn't need jizz remind me to tell you my other um sex with my other brother story oh my gosh there's been more than one video i have a twin and i've resisted all this time he's hot he looks just like me you guys thank you so much for listening to bloodbath uh we're three fat old [ __ ] and if you want more of this like this video and subscribe oh listen to her sex voice this is this is the voice of someone who didn't get molested she's just trying she's trying to make up for old time for lost time that's been our show see you next week ew is everyone comfortable with esther being the take the reigns person it's disgusting she can't even do it seriously she's a gyrate while she's doing it business esther is just like in a sec no you're like a sex worker when you do it every time you do it you're like [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Trash Tuesday

Views: 269,520

Rating: 4.9224663 out of 5

Keywords: khalyla kuhn, annie lederman, esther povitsky, podcast, tigerbelly, khalyla podcast, meanspiration, esther club, stand up, comedy, big mood, morning toast, khalyla, stand up comedy, whitney cummings, comedy store, bobby lee, interview, special, clips, highlights, tiger belly, gilbert galon, tgrbly, all things comedy, tfatk, ymh, funniest moments, howard stern, off the record, tigerbelly clips, tgb, bad friends podcast, whiskey ginger, andrew santino, bill burr reaction

Id: 09ghjqqSON8

Length: 68min 14sec (4094 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 02 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/jeromebettis11]

Annie is so funny, never listened to her before

[u/Wear_A_Damn_Helmet]

I love offbrand ScarJo.

[u/DoctorDeeeerp]

This podcast looks awful - but anyone calling D’Elia out is good