Critical Questions on Love, Dating and Marriage | Kingsley Okonkwo & mildred kingsley-okonkwo

in let's put our hands together for pastor mildred and pastor kingsley okonkwo as they step up put your hands together for them until they take their seat don't stop clapping until they get here wow lovely couples good [Applause] you can sit there praise the lord all right so welcome sir thank you we're so happy to have you here welcome ma'am thank you it's been an honor just let's put our hands together for them once again let's put our hands together for them all our personalities are amazing all the past parties pastor miller seems to have fans in this church yeah i noticed that too do we conduct an election are you sure you're not going to politics you have fans here okay so look at the fancy guys i love you guys all right okay so we're going to hear a little from her so please keep it calm cool down relax yourself so let's hear her say big hi to everyone in the house good evening everybody it's it is such an honor to be back here um interestingly last year i just escorted pastor gill they dragged me up and so it was such a big honor to be asked to do this again this year i want to say thank you mama and papa it's such an honor and like pastor k said he has really been using your name sir because everybody seems to ask whether you are his father but thank you for all you've done for the kingdom thank you so much thank you everyone especially the tribe members that are in the house i know you guys are there i thank you so much god bless you everyone thank you so much for that ma'am okay so we're going straight into the question please we're still expecting you to send in your question so i have a so you said something and it jumped at me you said that men are project driven and i immediately said that i just i'm married um by december it's going to be two years and um so one of the things that i noticed is that while i was you know like still checking my wife now i'm all with the talk every time you back to back the conversation was long and as a matter of fact we chat deep into the dead of the night yes and i think one of the days we just sat down and we're asking ourselves as a matter of fact we've chatted on all social media platforms from facebook to whatsapp to to go to maine we're just on every platform so we have we have a trademark we have a footage there so when you said that when you mentioned it that um men are driven by a purpose and project driven it kind of just speak to the person that i am immediately but thank you so much for that uh that was amazing so my question this wonderful evening is um i came across a quote um during the week sir and it says um when romance is alive and well in a marriage the door of temptation gets slammed short when romance is alive and well in a marriage the doors of the temptation get shot so my question is so what comes what is your definition of romance and how can it be expressed okay um i would describe romance as just keeping the keeping the excitement in your relationship and you see before a relationship you have what is called emotional love it's usually automated you don't you're not the one that is making it happen it's happening by itself after you start a relationship or get married you now have to move to intentional love so that's what happens to many people they started with emotional love and when they got mad and life began to happen they just thought that this excitement would come by itself no at the beginning the excitement does come by itself but at the middle you walk it then at the end it now starts flowing again because you are now you've learned how to make it happen so you must move from emotional love to intentional love so many people reach a stage where they say i need a new spouse what it means i need a new excitement so they think i need to go and start a new relationship or marry another person to get that excitement but no matter who you marry you will reach a stage where you must be intentional about making each other happy and that takes knowledge that takes consistency that is being deliberate you know to make it continue to happen wow thank you so much for that sir so church you have to be intentional you have to deliberate and you have to be committed to it pastor my first question is to pass kingsley um you said maturity is growing up you said maturity is growing up can you hear me now he said maturity is growing up what's your definition for growing up as it concerns relationship all right again it's a broad spectrum growing up has to do with your level of self-control for instance you know when you are when you are young they love things you do and you blame other people you blame even devil you blame your friends but when you start being mature the issues that you're able to take responsibility you find out that wherever you are in life is strictly your fault if it's working is your fault if it's not working it's your fault so i believe to take responsibility is one of it i believe to control your desires when you are young you you lack self-control but as you grow up you begin to understand that it's not every opportunity or everything that presents itself that you must take even if you can't take it it's not all that you must take so there are a few things like that maturity self-control taking responsibility um you know making decisions your ability to make a decision because we make decisions like per second everything you are wearing today you have to decide so you get a stage where you are able to make wise decisions not just for today you see you're able to make sure that would affect you 10 years from now even though 10 years hasn't come so it's a whole process like that there are a few things that i dealt with more in a broader way you know in the book but it'll help your maturity okay i have a follow-up question to that yes um what if all of this is is ticked and you get into the relationship and maybe you end up in marriage and everything that you saw before getting into the relationship yeah it's not how it is yes so what do you do that's not a good question i say common question i get because a lot of people try to make it look like oh marriage is like a box you don't know what's inside you're just going inside that's not really true it's dangerous you can go and carry a box and they sneak inside so um i have a message i titled the seven checkpoints there are seven checkpoints like a road when military people or police want to make sure somebody doesn't infiltrate they put checkpoints so as a believer before you marry somebody there about seven checkpoints you must do number one is things like they are spirituality checkpoints it is they love god with or without me do they have a relationship with god so that's one checkpoint second checkpoint is things like they are your friendship checkpoints before you marry somebody please take time to be friends what happened to young people is that you are either in a relationship or you are not in their life there's no middle line for them am i that dating you i'm hating you so but in the way you know people is when there is nothing at stake once you put your minds in there for this active movie let's just be friends don't talk how are you what you'll do with your life remove me from the picture just talk about yourself so there's a friendship checkpoint there's the prayer checkpoint people don't pray again they just say i like this girl i want to marry i like this boy no have you taken it to god there's the council checkpoint they said with the multiple of councillors they safety so there are seven of them if you follow you you nobody can beat this whole seven there is the time checkpoint give it time don't just meet on monday or marry on wednesday there's a time check so if you follow these seven checkpoints it's difficult it's rare almost impossible for the person to beat all these whole seven checkpoints are married most times that love is blind you are excited these signs are there they are showing you red flag but you're using the red flag to show actually so you're not seeing it thank you so much for new dread um i would like to i would like that um as a church would like to also know from your perspective what were your experience going through this checkpoint your personal experience going through this checkpoint okay because we were friends for a long time i mean we're friends so we didn't start off as we were in a relationship so the first thing that happened because was my friend was like i let my guard down and you must remember that i was in the relationship so he was my friend we didn't there was nothing romantic so i saw him being a christian i saw him in fact one of the days i went to his church to be sure when i say ripasto i went secretly i snuck in at the back just to be sure that this man is not teaching error you know and that was not we're not in a relationship we're just friends but because we went to secondary school together and i knew him back then as a bad boy i wanted to be sure that he was not using church to now you understand so just there are other things happening on that you know and if you have the spirit of god the truth is that because too deep you will know when somebody is a true child of god you will know your brother and your sister something inside you will connect with that person so i knew that he was you know a christian i knew that there had been a change there was a clear transformation once he was blind now he could see it was very clear i also found out that he was the kind of person that would go out of his way to do things for people not for me for everyone he was just generally a kind person always looking out for people he was a listener so there were things like that then when we now got into the point where i felt that this was what god was saying of course i took my time to pray and i think that any time i teach on relationship that's my strongest point the god factor god must put his stamp on it i know these days people have this old compatibility test this test that test but the truth is somebody can be good but are they good for you you must be able to check is this person going where i'm going and so the guy i was dating before we we had dated for five years we had done introduction but until you get to that altar and say i do you do not do so i knew that until god had put a final approval i wasn't moving forward did i cry yes did he pay me yes but i knew that whatever god is offering you is always better than what you are holding on to so when god said is not this one i knew like i knew my name that there was something i needed to pay attention to so i prayed i spent time praying but beyond that i also went for counsel i spoke to my pastor at the time and they counseled me that this okay this is what god is saying would you rather just want to feel good and disobey god or are you seeing your future do you know if god has mapped out your life and god is saying this person is not going your way do you do you want to disobey god so they were able to help me answer those questions and interestingly we had this commitment to each other that if at any point we feel like we made a mistake hearing god if we're not taking our vows we'll back down he kept saying it to me that even on that day if they ask me do you take this girl and i sense in my heart that i should not take you i will turn back and you would not be angry not be angry so both of us had that agreement so of course we went through all of those checkpoints um and i think like i said the loudest voice for me in all of that journey was god because for me i think that's the most important person in my life at first my parents were not in support but i knew that if god was in support that god would make them see the light and that's exactly what happened and today of course is there is their baby mom calls him my baby so i i went we literally went through everything but like i said god first god more important than anyone else sorry um let's put our hands together for that for her church we're still waiting for your question so if you have your question just write it and hand it over to the osha and an online audience as well we're expecting questions from you media team will like you to help us with questions from our youtube audience and facebook audiences as well so that we can take the questions so pastor mkhiti over to you okay i've heard you preach so the point is that you land on blogs i know you are strong you land on blogs different blogs i know you're a strong personality so as a strong personality did you feel the need to lower your standards so to attract the right african man in quotes okay i'm in fact i always have this conversation with pastor k i find it very funny that people say i'm a strong personality i don't know if i'm a strong personality i just think i'm very vocal about the way i believe god i'm very vocal about the word of god and because these days people have very low standards that's why it seems as if i'm very i'm a strong personality i don't think so i've we've had this conversation many times but i'm very strong if god says something i will shout it i don't really care who's listening if god says it i will follow through but any other thing i'm i don't think so but i don't know about lowering my standards um i wanted what god wanted for me i knew that there was ministry in my path i also knew that god wanted me to have a man who would make it easy for me to serve him my standards those days my standards were not necessarily even godly so let me let me even take it from that perspective so there are certain things i didn't want number one interestingly i didn't want to marry pastor i didn't want to marry pastor these were the things i call god i would do anything but don't give me pastor because i understood the sacrifices that it would require i have seen pastors wives and i know the sacrifice the the prayer the always understanding that whether you like it or not the church to a large extent may always come before you i also knew that my i needed to be extremely self selfless and accommodating and i'm a very private person so that meant that i would open my life to more people if you're a pastor you live in a glass house if you're married to a pastor there's no example of limits you can have a conversation with your husband next thing you're preaching so my wife just said and i'm like oh gummy are you just stuck inside also why are you using me for example so you know i had all those things secondly i didn't want to marry man that was hairy i am hairy i was pitting my children i didn't want them to go through that i didn't want to marry an igbo man so you see that's why i said that they were not necessarily godly they were just things i like it's the same way some people want to all that counsel which scripture is that but there are some people that no matter if if you like be in jail as far as you are not tall you're not that cannot something they're not listening to you so i had all those like i said things that were blocking me from really hearing god so i had my list i wanted a man that was dark i didn't want a fair complexion man i had all those funny things and one of the reasons why i didn't want an able man apologies to all of us evil people in the room i don't want anybody man because i'm a city girl i don't like village i'm sorry i don't i don't i don't like english i don't and i don't i don't have the energy to go from house to house and greet everybody when we come so i didn't want to go to chris to the village every christmas i just had some funny funny you know what i'm saying that they were not necessarily godly so they were kind of easy for me to let go of once i had god and that's the thing that was one knows about me once i hear god on anything i will not even argue i will move so i'm kind of like abraham i wake up in the morning god says go and sacrifice isaac i will wake up early before i think about it so when i had all those things they were the things that i would call my standards okay every other thing that girls have these days uh you must have money i knew i would have money he's the same god that is rich unto all why do i want a man to be rich when i can also be rich so money was not it was not an important thing that my husband would be great i knew he would be great because a virtuous woman is a crown on to her husband i knew that all i needed to do was enter his life and he would enter his kingship so there were certain things me and god had settled but the other things those things that where he's from uh he should i don't want him to be hairy i don't want all those funny things god just wrapped everything together i said this is the one i'm going to give you and he knows what's best for you so i came to the realization that see if you're going to serve god there you must take him as your father as your shepherd as your teacher and as your leader if he knows better than you then submit to him so that's what i did i can't really say that oh i lowered my standards i just obeyed what god said i should do this is the man for you and he was my friend he's so easy to get along with we would just for hours we talked about everything i was in a relationship but pastor k at some point became my confidence because he's a pastor so he knows how to ask the right questions so we i used to talk to him about things that were my concern and he would ask me then that have you told this guy i'm like i can't tell somebody i'm going to marry that kind of thing little did i know that the person i was going to marry was because i wasn't confiding and i thank god today because really god's plan is that you will be naked and not ashamed meaning that you would not have any secrets so i don't know about lowering my standards and i don't even know about being a strong personality maybe personally can tell you but that's what i hear all the time but i don't think so wow thank you so much for that so we have a question from our online audience um vera says she asks a question is it advisable to wait for someone who is trying to put his life together and in the process of putting his life together there is a lack of attention and communication is he advisable all right um you are not the person that would help him fix his life he should fix his life there's nothing wrong with that but don't tie yourself to him what i see here is that you are trying to tie yourself to him until he fixes his life no keep your options open um he might be for somebody else when he puts his life together there's somebody that he will join with at that time but you don't tie yourself down many people tied themselves down i have a book two titled seven questions why is women ask is one of the books there we many must understand that your clock is different from a man's clock men have financial clock women have biological clock so don't tie yourself to a man like that let him go and get ready if he's ready and you are still available when he's ready oh oh well i'm good but don't tie your life to him because time is a it's a crucial thing for you as a woman all right if a man starts a relationship with you both of you are tired if he dates you for 10 years i knew somebody that detects somebody for 10 years if he dates you and they didn't marry if he dates you for 10 years both of you are now 40. men can have children at any age i have one i had one uncle that was about this height he's my uncle boy is this height because my grandfather or somebody's brother had a child when he was 17. so my uncle was this height because men can keep having children till they die women you have a short bracket to have children so don't let anybody waste your time indefinitely let him go and prepare you keep yourself ready if somebody else more prepared comes please go ahead and marry wow thank you so much thank you okay so um a question what do you do when people don't return the same energy the same vibe in relationship what do you do [Laughter] [Applause] a lot of times people are you are asking questions when they've already answered you when somebody is not matching your energy that's the answer they have answered you all right stop asking them again they've already answered you all right one of the most common questions i get is exactly like this people tell me pastor there's this girl i like so much i call out the time i send that credit i send everything doesn't send me just to pick my call what should i do i said like what what do you want to do she has answered you and you see when you want to force somebody that doesn't love you to love you because you think you love them that is not actually love you're a very selfish person that is not love when you love someone you will allow them have the right to choose if they also want to love you back all right so when you are insisting that they must love you then you are selfish you are trying to use them to fulfill your own plans even though they are this is not what they want one of the things that love comes with is choice people have a right to choose you the same way you to have a right to choose somebody else it's not everybody that chooses you that you will choose two of you must agree two can work together except they're happy so pastor mitra this question is to you ma'am um someone said that i probably need some advice from you he said i'm in a long relationship on a long distance relationship is it right as a christian for my partner to stay in my house overnight and if no where she where will where will she stay if she comes to visit okay so sometimes it's my challenge with young people when i define my mouth that's what it is if the person stays in your house first of all you know the bible says you should also flee the appearance of evil so it's not just evil you should feel also their parents so you are in that house as a young man your fiancee comes and stays over let's even assume nothing happened when you wake up tomorrow morning and you come out from the house and comes out from the house can you go and preach to your neighbor that jesus is lord so sometimes we need to also think about the appearance of it apart from the actual then secondly why are you tempting satan because as if somebody's your fiance that means that there must be at least some sexual tension between both of you there should be some sexual attraction this one is not satan tempting you you are the one that carried yourself i went to them satan and so if you are two of you are in the house unless you even assume that you say she should sleep in the room you sleep in the bellow is it not door door not open that's how you say you want to go and drink water you now pass and as you were going you just said you should talk her in well and as you were talking her in well you just say you should just lie down small before you know it you are nine months pregnant so some things some things we don't need to use our full mouth to tell you as my mother will say use your tongue to count your teeth there are some things you should advise yourself first of all it doesn't look decent secondly does it bring glory to god that's what we are saying now steadily if you don't have a place for her to stay then let her not come continue your long distance until both of you can go somewhere that both of you can meet and it's safe in family or in the middle of church stand here and do your your meeting but i'm sure you know the answer to that it is not right if you are not married then you can't live together as married people it's not right i think it's a two-way question i want to get your perspective and also pastor mildred's perspective i know these certain men are attracted by what they see and also and um do you believe did you ever believe in spec respect she's my spark he's my spec and all of that so this is my question as a pastor i know you married as a pastor so as a pastor what was more paramount to you was it purpose or attraction purpose or attraction that that's easy that's easy and maybe it's because i've always been a relationship coach for a long time even before i got married so i knew that attraction is not something that would sustain anything purpose is definitely more important so for instance what's the purpose of having a very fine car that doesn't move you know all your friends come to the house to see the car he says your car is final he says why are you bringing it to where we are you say it doesn't move every time i want to see it you must come to my house you see at the beginning if the car is fine they would like it but when everybody finds out that this car it cannot fulfill its purpose of carrying you around after a while the car becomes useless so purpose is always more important than attraction is like the icing on the cake so you must have a cake first before you have icing on the cake you must have perfect okay let me bring it to this generation sounding like a pastel young people do you want me to speak like us in this generation let's just be real most guys want to go out with take the woman they are dating to their guys and also want to you see most times they see them as aesthetics they want to take them to the men to their guys their friends and raise their shoulders to tell them that this girl is mine you understand you know how guys feel in this generation let's be let's be let's be real in church a lot of guys do the same thing so how do we place the balance how do we place the balance let's try to ma let's try to balance the generation all generation older generation as a pastor and this generation okay interestingly this generation a lot of them land in our counselling rooms for the same reason so they would marry the girl and then come into counseling and say they don't they are miserable in their marriages so pastor k has actually spoken to every generation by the analogy he gave him what's the point in having icing without cake how many people would just be leaking recognizing after a while he'll give you a tummy ache so you may marry the girl because she looks beautiful but on the outside you may be rejoicing but the inside you will die because when you get home you need to have a conversation with your wife you can't you need somebody to help you do homework with your children your children will do homework and go to school and fail we need someone that you can because at the beginning it may look good but i'll give you an example some person i first met he still doesn't say but he had this habit of taking me to his friends what i noticed about them was they'd be like ah hey nice to meet you nice to meet you and they had that look in your eye a fine girl but after a while they start having conversations and then when i chip in maybe they're saying something and i say maybe something about politics and i say oh yes that's true the other day i saw this on cnn i see a different kind of respect that they look at him with because i'd get fine but she's too sharp so it's not only about your shape your shape may attract but it takes being sharp to keep in mind so at the beginning it may look good to have her looking nice or have him looking nice but when you get home you need a man that can make decisions you need a man that can pay bills you need a man that can have intelligent conversation with you you are stranded you go home are you saying honey i have this issue at the office what do you think he said so it may look like oh it's a generational thing but i don't think so every generation did the same thing because men are moved by what they see so whether or not you are this generation or the past generation everybody wants to marry a fine wife but what would sustain is if she's shocked wow wow wow chuck let's put our hands together for her waiting she just talks say wife materials nobody 10 years nobody five years no infinity yeah let's put our hands together for her once again all right so um cast okay this is to you sir um someone asked a question in most churches dating as a minister in the church is not allowed what is your take on this and what are the boundaries one must follow during dating or courtship yeah um i think you should always honor the procedure or processes in your church and there are people that have that mentality that the church is against them you must understand that whenever churches are putting policies or processes in place is for your safety so for instance in our own church we encourage young people that before you start a relationship talk to a minister or pastor some people think oh you just want to monitor us until they started seeing cases where one person is dating three people maybe he just has three services he has girlfriend three different services so it's for your safety whenever you see church policy it's not because we want to monitor you we are busy it's for your safety say don't start a relationship that would have the relationship with yeah we have i thought they checked the hospital and some are responding to treatment some are not that's the sickness they brought they still have it 10 years after inside church some people enjoyed their serial data's any new gatherings astrology was gone date them but they will never marry that person they will date her till another new girl enters the church you see but if you have to report to church before you start dating if that boy can come three times in one year we will arrest him i get what i'm saying but some girls don't know you see one boy justin you don't know that he has that attitude people in the same church this is work he doesn't have work so always follow your church policies trust me it's not because pastors don't have work we're already busy but it's for your safety so that you and us can have some peace of mind wow thank you so much um so one of our quest uh online audience asked a question i said my question is how do you solve clashes of interest in relationship especially when it happens constantly clashes of interest it's communication communication you guys have to have conversations and negotiate and then when it gets too much i think you should see your counselor or your pastor sometimes people don't want to get a third party involved but you see it's important because that person can see it from a neutral perspective so you want to travel to canada your husband says he's called to nigeria so you may never be able to agree but someone can sit down and say okay why do you want to travel to canada she can say oh i want better this i want to take this why do you want to stay in nigeria i want this i want that then we can come together in the middle and say okay if we take this and add this can we live in can we live in nigeria and live in an estate that has 24 hours late i have security and has this she says yes then you have solved the problem when emotions are heated you know everybody everybody wants their way everybody wants nobody's listening to the other person so of course it's very hard and especially because men and women don't talk the same way a woman will talk from a place of emotion i feel i feel you don't love me anymore we sit down in counseling rooms and the woman says i feel you don't love me anymore the man is angry how can she say i don't love her anymore i just want like it's not she didn't say she feels so you are bringing logic when she's feeling so logic and emotion you can never win because both of you are arguing from different points so somebody needs a neutral party needs to say okay this is what she's saying so what will make you feel loved you'll be surprised that all she wants is he should call me when he's at work when he comes home immediately enters the door she'll hug me and he has gone to buy a car when was she looking for his hog so they are not speaking the same language also love languages are different i don't know if i gave that example the last time i came here when i went to have my son enter my son in america um pastor k went to drop us he came with us and then he just wanted to settle me the two two other sisters and then i was going to have a baby boy so he wanted to settle us and but you know in america you need a car to move around so he went out that alimony was leaving the next day he went out early that morning and then came back around maybe 4 p.m very excited oh honey come on come outside i came outside the guy big tommy he said oh see what i just bought you i was looking at him he bought brand new car gave me key this one down so my daughters were shut yeah mommy i was just looking at all of them he said at least sit down i entered the car drive it i entered drove it came back packed the car for him entered the house so he came to meet me that uh he went i'll tell his mom to look for a car for me i'm not even excited i said because you're going tomorrow and i need to i needed you to be with me so now you see this my husband was using acts of service and gifts which is his love language to speak to me i wasn't understanding that i was loved because what i wanted was quality time so i was squeezing my face meanwhile he just bought me a brand new car what i wanted wouldn't have cost him a dime i don't even know what i'm saying so sometimes you are you are doing putting so much effort i am frustrated that the other person is ungrateful for what the person is looking for is not what you are given so it takes someone to sit down and say oh this is the reason this is so i had to apologize to him he had to apologize to me and now when i said to him i was happy when he left i was very happy about the cow what would that do i just wanted him to stay with me praise god pastor madrid's fans are still here praise god so i want to ask a question and it's also a two-way um question i'm going to talk about having the opposite sex bestie okay okay let me land let me land praise god i'm going to give an example let me say you are in a conversation with a guy that says is interested you guys have not really gone far you have any conversation and now the guy tells you that i have a best you and the person is a female do you understand and what's what will you feel okay the person the best thing happens to be somebody that you have run packaged with before you have run packages before you add a package to the person before so and um whenever you session the best best it keeps coming up whenever you have conversation it best keeps coming up what how will you feel as the woman and us persecutely what what would be your advice to guys that see our besties sorry so that you can answer the question at once i'm so still on the question of boundaries and such and praise the lord thank you so still on the question of boundaries um so someone asked the question what type of boundaries can a husband or a husband and wife set for outsiders opposite sex in and also in laws so what types of boundaries can one set for these three categories of people okay um i will start with the bestie thing personally um i think it takes a lot of maturity for you to be friends with the opposite sex if you're in a relationship and both of you are not that person's friend i'm very uncomfortable with it i think that if we're going to have friends we should have our friends yes mutual friends um if the person has had a relationship with the person is calling his bestie i don't think i would encourage it because first of all it's an ex we may call it what we want but she's an ex if you've done something with her before you've had something to do with that before you have to let it go because now old fire would they catch past so you have to let's be honest you know you have to let it because those feelings will still be there something will still be there and you will always compare that person with the person that you're in relationship with now the bible says that if you're going to get into a relationship you must be able to leave father and mother and i think that that's to god is the highest relationship you must be able to leave your father and mother to cleave to your wife if you cannot live you cannot live so if you cannot live a friend then you are not ready to get into a relationship unless of course the girl is comfortable with it and she's our friend too and maybe she said she has the love of god she can forgive all things keeps no record of wrong all those things but i don't think it's safe in terms of boundaries i also think that especially for couples you see i'm an infidelity recovery specialist and one of the things i found out is that most times people get into infidelity with their exes if you are not careful you see men a lot especially men a lot of men say things like oh don't worry i think i can handle it so i got this and i always tell them you don't get nothing because i got this i got this night because problem if you are attracted to someone of the opposite sex the person should not be in your in your spare at all in your area at all don't think you can handle it be honest with yourself usually people lie to themselves that's why they end up in compromising situations because you think you can handle it but when you know when an assassin say i don't know what came over you you don't know what came over you put yourself in in this situation i'll give you an example you know that you're attracted to a young man and he says oh he finds out that you enjoy reading novels and he says well come to my house i have a novel and you two you took your leg went to his house that they selling book shopper you went to his house to collect it and then he said so just sit down be comfortable and you see that and be comfortable and he put his hand around your shoulder i can't guarantee you that it will end in a way that you will not like but a lot of times the real reason why you will see that is you think you can handle it but when you see any evil appearance why would you say it's flee what does the word flee mean it means run as in terror not just run run as in terror you know those cartoons that when they are running their legs that's exactly what you do so you flee so no matter what it is if you can place those boundaries no phone calls no secret text no disappearing whatsapp messages no disappearing instagram messages all those things don't do it don't chat with someone and your partner doesn't have your password all those things all those things that you are setting yourself up for trouble and for failure for me uh for me i think it's very simple if you have any friendship or relationship with somebody of of the opposite sex that your partner is uncomfortable with you have to honor and respect your partner by cutting away from that relationship when you enter a relationship with somebody part of your commitment is to honor them and respect them and when you get married marriage is a covenant you are no longer your own all right you now belong to somebody so you can't be using yourself or doing anything you like especially at the detriment of another person once your spouse is uncomfortable with this relationship you break it even if they are not uncomfortable just because you respect them and you honor the covenant you carry with them it doesn't make sense to have the bestie of the opposite sex and you can say oh my heart is pure but you are not in that person's heart so you can never determine for them what they want out of this friendship so for the sanctity and the honor and respect of your partner and the marriage covenant you need to cut out from anything bestiary and uh keep it clean wow wow wow can we put our things together for our speakers it's just unfortunate that we don't have time on our side and as you can see we're about rounding up and the ship or the airplane is coming for a landing so so before sorry before you leave i would just like you and um pastor midway to just give a word of advice to the younger generation as regarding relationship dating marriage for young people for young people if i'm going to say a short thing to you to be [Applause] good all right for the young people if i want to say something quickly to you is that please separate and differentiate the world standard with the kingdom standard all right as young people you will hear a lot of things you will see a lot of things but it's not everything that is for you there is nothing new under heaven only new people all right any madness you are seeing now trust me we faced it different people faced it um but there are only new people under heaven and the way for new people to get good results is to ask the wise old people you know what is the path that god has laid and if you follow god's path no matter the generation you find yourself you will always do what is right and come out all right okay i would say don't criticize what you should be learning from i think that this generation a lot of them are too quick to criticize those that have gone ahead of them so you are quick to say why why are they doing likes why i didn't like that sometimes you need to just settle down and learn learn learn from those that have gone ahead of you learn from those that have made mistakes don't criticize them but learn from them also please be careful of making social media your pastor these generations are being passed out by social media and a lot of the information you're getting is wrong read your bible for yourself know god for yourself it's very important and finally let god's voice be the loudest voice in your life he can never lead you wrong i've trusted with god with my life for many years now and he has not mismanaged my life god bless you let's put our hands together for our speakers as they take their leave thank you so much ma'am thank you keep clapping

Channel: LDM WITH PK

Views: 114,559

Keywords: Pastomildred, kingsley okonkwo, pastor k, ldmwithpk, love, dating, marriage

Id: HRsNiNMiDSI

Length: 44min 21sec (2661 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 10 2022