Craig Mocks Michael Mercilessly On The Ides Of March

and you know it was the same you know when people play drinking games they're like all right every time something happens it's a drinking game I'm like drinking is not a game schnitzel it's not a game it's when I'm doing it it's not a game it's serious oh every time that thing hits me we'll drink no let's just drink right Jeff yeah you're going to drink drink if you're going to drink drink you're going to play a game go to uhoh sports center Craig are you cussing yeah yeah you know what it's St Patrick's Day weekend curing is allowed on television no why is he being so harsh to me the hell man why are you being so harsh to me it's almost like in the future I'm going to mock you I have a plan to mock him after this commercial break I'm going to mock Michael mercilessly don't applaud it's not going to be pretty he's going to start crying isn't he oh yeah don't how could you applaud that tonight's audience are monsters we be right back ladies and gentlemen cig cuson [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] California your host Ste thanks everybody great it good quietly it's F yesterday yesterday was P day but today is Frid that I have to say that was Michael's joke and we've been working on this show for nine years that was his first joke he said hey you know how we did yesterday show and it was P day well today is Friday I was like that's I was like that that is a great joke [Music] bya and now I can you you know that thing where you can read uh my thoughts yeah yeah do you think you I can do that you can do that with Michael stars all right see if you can do that with Michael Stars I'm very pleased with myself a very good joke soon I'll be standing in Jeff's position all right that's that's enough that's enough well it's the last show ever everybody which means it's a great day for America yeah now it is it is fr it is Friday of course not piday Friday it is of course not only Friday not only the day after P day but it is the March the 15th known as the IDS of March the Ides of March no no not you I was waiting for the dinner this is the bit where we get to go ooh no let me tell you there is no bit where you get to goou unless I say goou go No anyway it's the Ides of March good I didn't say go do we have a Graphic then for the eyes of Mark oh what's that coming to go yeah you go knock it off knock it off the desperate warm-up comedian clapping in front of people to make them clap like clap clap clap or I'll be fired come on everybody give me f all right all right anyway it's the it's the it's the Ides of March you you know that saying Beware Of The Ides of March it means today you have to be extra careful to avoid a disaster although if you're watching the show you clearly did not heed the warnings the Romans used to celebrate the IDS of March with a giant military parade people throwing flowers live music huge crowds it was like a parade in West Hollywood but with fewer Gladiators thanks four people who know what I'm talking about you could probably go o now if you wanted it oh too late anyway Julius Julius Caesar was assassinated on the IDS of March he was stabbed in the back by someone he thought was a friend it was like he worked in Show Business [Laughter] I love the idea that they're sitting back there the guy that's got the did button going I don't know do I do it now yeah yeah I do I'm I will I do the D or not the D I don't know I don't know what the hell it's I don't know what's going on anymore I wish it was P day yeah we really must try and do a monologue one night I I think it'd be awesome yeah it was it was P day yesterday it's Friday today anyway juli Julius Caesar uh yes historians say that Julius Caesar brought his ruin upon himself he illegally seized power from the Roman senate then he proclaimed himself the dictator for life and worst of all he decided to put um ovies in salad dressing the Senate were like you've gone too far caesar no I think it'd be a great idea we'll put we put anies it's like like Pi Day but with fish what we'll do is we'll get little tiny fish and we'll put them in the dressing you know because not every day is pie day I can't believe I'm punishing Michael so much for making a helpful suggestion yeah it's I'm I'm really enjoying it anyway you know what this is here's a story about Julius Caesar when he was a teenager he was captured by Pirates and they held him for ransom but Caesar was so Charming uh you know and was clever they spared his life and once his Ransom was paid he was freed and then he captured all every one of those pirates and he crucified them all I know and the Pirates Last Words as they were dying were ah and that that's how pirate language started they were like what are these Pirates saying they're going ah I made that last last bit up but this is true story anyway look juliia Caesar was romantically involved with Cleopatra for many years but he never asked her to marry him Cleopatra felt betrayed and she spent years whining about it in public and public mourning that's why she is known by historians as the Egyptian Taylor Swift thank you anyway after he dumped Cleopatra there were rumors that Julius Fe Caesar Julius fear completely different guy Julius Caesar fathered an illegitimate Child by a housemid but these rumors turned out to be false it was actually his distant cousin Julius Schwarzenegger don't don't don't [Music] I I think I'm done here that's it you're good yeah well not good I think goods are reach but uh but I think I think we've reached a point in the show where we could legitimately claim to have filled enough time to warant another commercial break all right you want me to uh take us to commercial why are you talking like that you talking like that or like everything sort of like why hey hey I've got an idea let's see if I can read your mind when uh when the camera's on you and I I'll do that thing all right all right uh I wonder if I should uh do the commerci h I hate Ferguson with his skin and internal organs that was very accurate all right go to the commercial break go tonight's program is brought to you by Julius Caesar's sausage link stab hunger in the back at two brought [Applause] worst [Applause] welcome back every welcome back to the show where tonight we going crazy it's the HS of March we're going crazy it's out of control yeah here's the thing you know when I was talking earlier on and I had this little sparkly hat on for St Patrick's Day well apparently I've been informed by Michael who's the producer of the show I'm very important and in no way mocked by me or Jeff that uh he said he said when you were doing that there were little sparkles in your hair from the Hat there's little sparkles in your hair from the hat which is actually a problem for me cuz when I go home it'll look like I've been at a strip club cuz there'll be sparkles on me I think I've cleverly set myself up to actually go to a strip club yeah yeah yeah because when I get home I can say what are you talking about I was just wearing that little hat yeah I saw I saw it on the show yeah yeah yeah that's right are you doing my wife's voice no no I'm just do it again do it again yeah no yeah sure that's a bit what she sounds like all right all right I just throwing it out there just guessing all right uh what time is it Jeffrey Pierce it's tweet Mail Time time to take advice from a man who has sparkles in his hair and in no way was at a strip club

Channel: bgrhubarb

Views: 327,073

Keywords: Craig, Ferguson, Geoff, Peterson, Robot, Monologue, Drinking, game, michael, naidus, mercilessly, mock, mocking, mocked, piday, pie day, pie, pi, day, friday, ides of march, ides, march, chunky, romans, cleopatra, julius, ceaser, anchovies, egyptian taylor swift, craig reads geoff's mind, et du bratwurst, bratwurst, sparkles, glitter, hair, st patricks, patrick, patrick's, tiny hat, tiny, hat

Id: 81Al6HLMyTU

Length: 10min 54sec (654 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 23 2013