Connection | Shawn Bolz | Expression 58

let me get this message my life and I just are releasing an e course on marriages about Connect connection and it kind of borrows from the message that I did about connectivity of being one of the kingdom core values and our church and who we are as people and as I've been researching I just keep researching even though it wasn't going to teach this or I wasn't thinking about it but I've been researching about relationships even more and it's funny because I was for this message over the last week I've been researching on productivity because I was going to talk about how the kingdom of God always produces Soto which produces fruit and differentiate that between natural and kingdom fruit and the whole thing so I was going there but in the context of that I kept being drawn back from psychological articles and even ministry articles and stuff that I was researching back to relationship and the core value and what I love is that we're launching life groups which is the perfect time to talk about relationship not that I'm doing it for that although it's perfect marketing because that great you guys so because I believe in life groups but but I I feel like there's this place of connection and connectivity that when I was praying about Rosh Hashanah I was getting more about relationships and connection so that's what we're going today but I want to give you some some perspective because God not only wired you for relationship but you were psychologically neurologically biologically wired for friendship but you also have detriments that happen if you're not in relationship and excuse me there's so many excuses for why we're not in relationship but I want to dismantle some of those excuses for why we're not going deeper or why we're in a lot of the productivity stuff was interesting because people who always say I'm busy I'm busy I'm busy I don't have time for this I don't have time for this are typically less productive than people who do have time because people who do have time know how to manage their time people who don't have time are still learning how to manage their time and typically don't do well relationally which is really interesting when I was studying that so when I'm setting this all out I'm reading this and I'm realizing the health benefits of relationship and there was some scary terrifying terrifying statistics about people who aren't in relationship with what happens to them just basic friendship now if you want to go deeper in this you can listen my message on connectivity and I talked about how you're wired for connection with gone connection with each other but but I mean it's it's amazing when you look at this I mean even they were there was a study from one of the groups from Brigham Young University where they found out that people who have strong social relationships were 50% more likely to survive things like cancer things like well I won't go through all the signals of hepatitis that the worst kind all these different diseases they'd survive they're 50 percent more likely to survive the exact same diagnosis of someone who died who didn't have relationship and so they were like attributing relationships to this kind of thing I like someone one of the doctors at other sites that a sparse social circle is a significant health risk and so we're talking about if you have less than three friends that you're doing regular life with but you're in regular connection with your head you have significant health both physical and emotional health risks just from having three or less friends in your life now this is huge because you're gonna immediately evaluate evaluate yourself do I have three or four friends in my life and if I don't oh my gosh I'm actually know psychologically and physically I actually have health risks in my life right now because God wired you to be in a community of friends people who really know you and I was reading some of the stuff and I had shared this in the last message that I taught about this kind of a subject but I think it's really interesting that our brain is geared towards like me like me not which means when you get with somebody your immediate reaction is gonna be oh I have chemistry whenever want to talk to them again and we're all like that every human being is like that except for those who are mentoring themselves with the Spirit of God who literally shuts that off and says I'm not gonna evaluate based on my intuition or what I feel or what I'm attracted to I'm just gonna just go into this with God and just see what he does and what's amazing is that like me like me not neurological impulse that we have can be completely shut down by one person who you're saying I don't really like them sharing one fact about themselves that's vulnerable it immediately shuts off to like me like me not you know the neurological impulse that we have and it's it's interesting that the other statistic in that I'm going to marry that too is that people who are isolated which is one-third of all society feels isolated right now in America and lonely why third of all people in big cities feel lonely that's so sad and that's not how it should be because they live in a big city we have I mean the most amazing people in the world live in LA and if you feel lonely and you're probably one of the most amazing people and if you feel lonely it's such a raw robbery from from what's here and what's available to us right but what happens is is that if you feel lonely if you're feeling this this place of like disconnect you start to fight for your own welfare so you're automatically like disengaging or disconnecting from the fact that there might be a connection because you're in survival mode in yourself so psychologically you start to fight for your own welfare and so when people talk to you and sharing something you might just go into survival mode sharing which means it's very dominant it's very intense it doesn't it doesn't give a room for someone else to share - you're not actually interested them how many times have you talked to somebody and they go you say how are you and they pool and they never ask you anything about yourself that's an Ellie thing right there right oh my gosh my agent my manager doesn't happen though I've my shoes look at my shoes anyways I gotta get coffee and you're like I don't know what that was that's not the kind of sharing we're talking about but even sharing in any form is actually helpful because it gets you out of the like I mean like me not you know like neurological impulse people found as they studied and there's you know several psychological reports I have here John cassiopeia which is one a PSE psychologist he authored the book loneliness human nature need for social connection if you want to go deeper on this it's an excellent book I read it this week but he talked about how if somebody is lonely and they just I mean there's all these studies on the field do this if you'll do this if you'll do this if you do this you might have an improvement that's their only promising an improvement but what they found out would be not just an improvement but a connection is if you'll just share something with yourself to somebody who seems interested so like if you go to a life group and you're like I'm lonely right now and I'm go to this life group and they have a share time and you disengage because you're himself protect mode you're like I'm just trying to worry about money I don't know we're gonna live tomorrow my apartment you know if you're in that mode if you just in that mode share something real I came to LA and it's not necessarily negative real it's just real I came to LA and I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing but I'm excited because God sent me here for this journey or whatever just by sharing that you actually disengage the negative part of your brain that's created your internal dialog and then that's created your narrative over your situation now you have to realize that our narrative inside of our head is mostly written by the negativity we experience and so we have to that's why we have to renew our mind the Bible talked about renewing your mind because we have to renew our mind and one of the key things that renews our mind it's now proven psychologically it's proven neurologically is relationships because relationships they tell you who you are they tell you what you're good at they encourage you in what kinds of things you might want to try and relationships helped develop the social you and then the identity you and so there's a lot of teaching about than me the identity of me like there's so much teaching to the church so self-help gospel the cycle and you just work on you you just you just be you used to well Jesus never had to tell us to love our self did he well he did mention it in the commandments but he didn't say Jennifer let me teach you how to love yourself because you automatically love you protect you are concerned with you are interested in you even if it's narcissism there's you involved you know but you had to be told to love your neighbors yourself because the benefit of loving your neighbor in the context of including them in a way that you include yourself means that you're giving them right to speak into the you you're not only doing the you alone you but you're doing at you that you're you're vulnerable with somebody else and you're including them in your process and Holy Spirit is so good at this he's so good at literally in prayer time a lot of people don't know how to use their prayer time he's literally good at disciple in you and teaching you to how to be a good friend because that's his name is friend did you know that the main name that was used over and over for Holy Spirit was friend in the Bible he knows how to be a friend and he knows how to get you to do the things that will form you into being you and that's what friendships do the mind the brain is the only social organizational interaction it's not developed in the other way you cannot be on a desert island and developed just by reading books did you know that you'll have a lesser IQ if you were left Island only reading books are having just Internet access and that's it because you need people and I love the Holy Spirit because he's like my wife where I don't want to go to like a lot of things a lot of time so my wife has to tell me like we're going you're gonna go you're gonna love this do you know you're gonna love this you're just being cranky and tired stop it you're hangry if you just go you know she's that person right and I feel bad for some friends because she's like cousin I get there I'm like oh like it was my plan like this is the best ever and she's looking at me like I see I told you but she helps to change my narrative of why I don't want to go and all my excuses I'm introverted I need me time you know I started a family I'm tired I've worked all week I don't want to do this and she changes the narrative that's going inside my head and she's saying no the reality is is that you enjoy these types of times and yes you're tired but this is gonna give you life not take life from you and yes it is gonna take some energy but it's the kind of energy that's good to give that's the Holy Spirit does when you're in your prayer time you know the Holy Spirit's not in your prayer time when you're always doing what you want to do it's true like I'm just I'm not being rebuking I'm just saying like if you if your Holy Spirit leads you to only do things that are of self benefit it's not really God it's just you with a wise counselor of you and your head speaking to yourself about what you want and that's when you know someone does that relationship so real Holy Spirit cuz he tells you know you'll love praying for this homeless person I'm tired I just want to go home it's midnight I don't want to pray for the panhandler just addicted to drugs on the street and then the Holy Spirit's like but this is a moment when you get a love like geez this thing I go okay I'll do it ding and I don't want to do this that's when you know it's always spirit or men who don't want to go to the party at night with their wives because you're tired of being around people because you've been around people all week that's when you know it's a Holy Spirit when you actually are like oh wait I'm supposed to go to this one that one too okay that's my god but Holy Spirit changes our narrative and what happens is he starts to help us into relationships that we wouldn't put ourselves in as a matter of fact that Friendship Circle that God wants to put you in you would never pick for yourself it's true from Jesus on Jesus was friends with all these disciples only because the father showed him who they were not because he personally was like I'm go after this guy Peter he seems awesome at 18 years old he makes great decisions right Jesus saw him according to the father I mean I wouldn't have picked most of my closest friends personally I've joked around about hona like I wouldn't have picked Hana Hana was in Guate or Ecuador as a Guatemalan eighteen year old I was like 23 and I was like this kid is he's like this guy and we became best friends but like we needed like it we had that like like me like me not it wasn't even like this big like I like you it's kind of hey but I would have never picked in a 18 or whatever years later 15 I don't even know how many years I don't know how to count but but however me over a decade ish and you know but but because of God picking my friend I had become a different version of myself because of his belief and love and me and then family and like he met gen through coming to America through me cuz I believed in him I ended up doing a lot of the things I believe in because he's spoken to my life there's so many times like ona's best trait about him is that he listens to complaining with a love in his heart smiling and the more you complain the more bad you feel about your complaining and it never has to confront you because you just feel back as you so pure you're like I'm a jerk and you would never feel this way and I shouldn't do this anymore and I've dumped on you for 30 minutes and you're not complaining back and you have every reason to complain too and I suck I need to change my whole behavior system when people go through a divorce or when they go through extreme trials and hurt and pain counselors and psychology have found that they'll rewrite their entire history based on that amount of pain even if there's 80% good for all these other years they let the pain shadow it as if it's as painful as the current year they're in and so they've rewritten their whole narrative and it's one of the hardest things that counselors and psychologists have to deal with because they no longer have perspective but relationship gives you perspective when you have more than three friends in your life who really know you they start to help you with your perspective because all of a sudden you start to maybe take on a new career or you're taking on a new relationship or you're taking on something that's different or you're you you get promoted or it's a negative thing you get demoted or you lose your job or you go through something hard and one of the things that your friends do the most because they know you as they help you with your perspective they remind you of who you are cuz your narrative starts to change you in that moment of the negativity or positivity you start to try and figure out what is my narrative when you have relationships you know the right in their ative you start to see the right things as they're the right people for you if they're healthy people for you I think it's interesting that one of the studies I was reading through there was this um personality on social psychological review in 2010 it was really interesting cuz they were talking about young people who have had relationships in high school or college who have up to seven relationships of good friends either girls or guys will find themselves married to somebody they'll commit to 70 percent more than people who don't have friends at that age group they won't find the same amount of quality of relationship so even having friends when you're young when you're in your teenagers and young 20s actually gives you a better quality of life long term with a person you'll marry I mean is that wild like these statistics to me are wild that there's that God made you to have people your share with unfortunately because we're in a fallen state we do have a fallen state of sin our mind in our in our flesh and our soulish area will tell us all the reasons why we shouldn't do things but when you choose love you start to see what you would and should do and you start to buy your friends and we're in relationship with you they help you to choose the love that you're called to I think if some of the things that Jen when she came into our lives some of things she introduced us to as far as justice and if we I mean I always had a heart for justice I was always going to crazy places but not like Jenna soon as Jen came on on the scene she redefined what God looked like injustice to us from that point on and we all of our friendship group was completely changed by Jen's perspective and just her being her held us accountable to be involved with justice in a different way than we ever would have if we didn't have her as a friend and it impacted the way we'd spend the rest of our lives because Jen showing up and it wasn't because she held us to anything or she told us way to do anything it's because her revelation of who God is and how he loves that way has caused us to love differently from that point on and Pete I've talked to people for years about Jay like if anybody knows Jenna and they've actually gotten to know where they're like yeah I'm just theirs before Jenna and after Jen there's just like who she is as a person just impacted me and it actually set something in my life forward that was already there but it wasn't it was undefined you know I ate being over a church that was a Jenn banner you know even though we had some other people help us name it that was a gender of a 58 which by the way the passion translation they burn someone's escape it's me by Isaiah 58 oh I have to set it to today I just got it like this week it was like oh my gosh I get geeked out on it I'm sorry it's at a moment but when we allow ourselves to open up to people and it doesn't have to be people Jim wasn't known by anybody then it wasn't like she was famous Christian whoever was trying to get to know she was a girl that was going to Africa who no one knew and we saw her at a conference we happened to see her and God allowed us to see who she was and we were able to help like our little Friendship Circle believed in her but she believed in us as well and so it wasn't like like I'm saying that because some of you're like well if I had Jen in my life - there's Jen's in your life that you just don't see yet but when you see the way Jesus sees you start to incorporate somebody you start to believe in the goodness of who they are they are that person that is that champion that that person who's going to be a Family Center for you a relational Center for you somebody who helps to prepare you for your goodness you know I love that and I love how even wounds from these kinds of people can be can be trusted that scripture that's in Proverbs such a weird scripture I'm not talking about the kind of wounding where someone betrays you slanders you gossips drags her name through the mud I'm talking about the kind of like I went up to a friend of mine before I was married obviously no kids before I was married and this is when I was like 20 and I went to him I'm like I don't think the woman you're about to marry is good enough for you I know that she's the one I don't think she's awesome I don't think I'm so sorry like I just can't picture you with this girl I can't think it's the worst decision you might ever make and I just have to voice if you choose her I'll repent but if you don't choose her gift this can swagger and he looked at me I mean he goes this really hurts my heart but it also makes me see how much you love me because you're trying to speak into the most precious is because you like me that much that you're having a hard time believing she's good enough for me that's the kind of wound of from before they can be trusted this one was perfect for him she's amazing I did repent like I was I was a little twenty year old who couldn't see right you know like I hadn't seen enough relationships in front of me she's she's way an upgrade for him he's like not an upgrade for her I thought it was gonna be the opposite but I was twenty I couldn't see it so like there's when we talk about wounds from a friend can be trusted we're not talking about somebody betrays you on an ultimate level and you can trust that we're not we're talking about you can trust love even if it miss guides you at times whereas miss guiding in its nature because of love you can trust that so you could trust the person still there they'll mature like I was nineteen or twenty I matured over time I I became the right version of what I need to be for them in support and friendship and so I did want to say it because I feel like a lot of times we use scriptures to handicapping become codependent versus scriptures actually help us to keep building in love and just see through people's weakness and faults at times like I'm so grateful that these guys and others have seen through my weaknesses and faults and helped me to become Who I am versus holding me accountable for those weakness and faults and saying I don't trust you anymore versus flat-out immorality which is a different story of how you recover from that okay let me keep going some friendships start because of shared interest but most grow because of proximity and common life circumstances they can be based on many things but there's some things uniquely special about a Christian friendship which is spiritual unity so the thing that we have and our friendship together is that we're going after two things number one is we're going after a christ-centered life we want Jesus in the center of our life so we're asking Jesus we're and we're trying to glorify Jesus through our life so we're asking Jesus to change us according to his character so he's our barometer he's we have a measuring stick even in our friendship that's why Christians we can have the greatest degree of conflict management if we if we allow ourselves to we have the greatest degree of support because we're not just supporting for like a friend to chair Monde and just kind of like yeah I'm happy for you we know this person is our family member in Christ that Christ loves them and when Paul and others have examples of how Christ loves it's a beautiful beautiful example and we see it through the Gospels but then we see it in Barnabas and how Barnabas treated Paul and how Barnabas saw Paul a certain way and began to sacrifice his reputation and relationship for Paul and in our day it would be like if bill Johnson took on a former al Qaeda member who killed like 32 people and said this is gonna be the next super apostle greater than I am he's gonna plant a ministry that you're all gonna trust the most if it's Brian Houston or Joe's do you know Bill Johnson saying that about somebody we would all go we'll see ha ha ha you know we wouldn't be like that's awesome let's do it we would be like I'm not sure if this is a big con where he's trying to get in so he can destroy us more or if this and that's how the Christians felt but because of Barnabas had an impact Bal reputation God used this man through a spirit of French of his name meant the great encourager or the encourage or a friendship God used this man to bring about this other man's destiny and purpose and it took a while it wasn't instant they were in Antioch for a while and then finally the Apostles laid hands on them and set them apart for a work and I'm sure they were glad to see him go potentially because it wasn't like I mean he they had a stigma for having Paul in their mitts because people still didn't trust you Paul was until he started his missionary journeys that's why there were so divisions against Paul that he talked about at times because there's people who are still holding him accountable for out of non friendship for what he was doing they were saying we're still not sure about you Paulie we still don't trust some of you say this man's your father this man's your father but let me tell you as a father and he's like proclaiming himself a father to people who don't believe in him it was pretty crazy out of the spirit of authority God gave him but I bring him up because there's people that you're called to be friends with that through your love and connection to them we will see them differently I remember when Jennifer and hona we're introducing us to the Lutz's Dan and Michelle and I remember how the first time Jen told me about Michelle and she was let me tell you about this couple and let me tell you about Michelle and I I think I had seen Michelle lead worship somewhere and I was like that's great and I was like but the way she represented her was like this is a person you wouldn't be friends with these people see let me tell you why they're amazing and there's a spiritual revelation not just like they're amazing because they could work hard for us that kind of thing it was like these are people we wanted our lives relationally and then at the same thing with Alex and Shana they were like let us tell you about Alex with Shana they're telling us about them and they're introducing us to their friends that they've met outside of us and they're but they know they're bringing him into this fold into our house and they're like we want to tell you who they were are and the representation because the history of how they spoke about them that was my truth from that point on I say started this high in my heart they didn't have to start from here and jump over hurdles they started high because I trust them so much that they're entrustment and belief system in these couples that they were meeting that ended up incorporating several years ago made me go yes I love what the spirit of friendship does and only spiritual unity can bring you to that place of entrustment because spiritual unity has to do with Christ now but also everlasting life in the future I'm looking at you as a sister I'm looking at you as a brother and the moment I don't see you as a brother and a sister who I have to spend eternity with I'll treat you differently I might treat you with trash talk I might do customer service on you you know like when people come to church doesn't like I just felt like I wasn't treated well for three weeks did it you're talking to somebody here it's been everlasting attorney with is a next-door neighbor so you can treat people like you would at Disney who ran over your foot and you now want to complain about all the employees there and you want to do a customer service operation or you can realize this is actually family and when your daughter comes up and punches you in the stomach or the crotch and you're mad you you deal with it there or if it's someone else's kids here comes up and punches you but if it's a stranger's kid that you don't expect we do that you're like oh my god person's kids terrible they're terrible peanuts oh you hate them I'm gonna talk to the pastor's about them but versus seeing the connection a family you have to them and actually going I am now adopting this the people of God is a community of mine and that therefore I'm not coming out of a place of rigidness at a business I'm coming out of a place of family and that means I have a different responsibility in a different level of relationship to the community now I'd say that I don't want to go too much further than that but I'm gonna give you some characteristics as I end up a few minutes left up friendship and the first one is of course the shared hope of the gospel Colossians 1 3 3 or 5 I'll just I'm not gonna read that but it's a great scripture for the that's the bedrock of our relationships as Christians is that we have Jesus together therefore we pray for each other we think about each other we honoring God in each other we have a basic basic just understanding that God is good and that he's good in this person no matter who they are number two we have realistic expectations though because we know we've all fallen short of the glory of God we know first John 1:8 if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not enough so we know that we still do things that are wrong at times so therefore we have a framework in the relationship of having the right expectations that we and this side of eternity are gonna hurt each other at times but we're gonna love each other and we're gonna choose love over and over and over that's one of the bedrocks of Christian friendship number three would we'd have a framework of forgiveness that's already in the scripture we don't have to go to the same psychological program you know we don't have to go to the same therapist to figure this out we have a framework of forgiveness we forgive because he first forgave us and we also know that forgiveness doesn't mean entrustment instantly but it means that we we literally would release them of responsibility of the consequence of their sin and we give them to God and it's a beautiful thing so we have a framework for forgiveness and coming back in Colossians 3:12 3:13 and before I already went over the family commitment which Galatians 6:10 number five we have true generosity where we're not in this for ourselves John 3:17 if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need yet closes his door to him how does God's love abide in him and they love Acts chapter two that they had so much friendship and so much trust in God that they had all things in common we've never seen it again in history yet there's some culture done it by wrongly but we've never seen and in LA it's so beautiful because this is a giving community and we've seen the spirit of friendship over and over amongst you where somebody has a hard time especially during some of the recession some have you've gone through we have a hard time and all since somebody will open their house to let you live there for a while or somebody you know my parents who just moved here do who have no one here and they just have a baby and these guys organize like meals for them for two weeks they don't even know one I just know over and over and over by this community and that's the spirit of friendship that's uncle now there might be some good community people out there who do this kind of stuff but it's not society-wide but Christianity you see this over and over and over this this basic generosity that happens we encourage each other to stand strong Philippians 1:27 there's constant encouragement from other believers again if you're not experiencing this then you're not in friendship with other believers the way you need to be you said three to seven Christian friends who are encouraging you and to be to have a friend you have to be a friend Jesus was a friend first he loved first and he set the model of friendship to be a friend first and that's one of the biggest keys in the kingdom because we missed it all the time we're like I went to church there seven times and no one talked to me pikas are relationally happy and they didn't see you because you're just singing saying hi to their 10 friends they've they forgot to talk to someone new because they're super happy that's not clique that's not elitism it's not necessarily the best thing but I mean like I'm really relationally happy and I I get to talk to my 3 or 4 friends and I have directly here in the morning and then I got to talk to 10 or 12 acquaintances that I really love and I'm building rapport with and then oh yeah there's new people I got to go even outside of that plus I'm managing hundreds of relationships outside of this so for me a lot of times when people put pressure and they're like why am I not you know receiving friendship we used to grow up in the airforce and so we had to move every three to five years and my mom would tell me you will not have friends fast enough if you don't go make them and we would watch people move in and they'd be they put all the pressure on her neighborhood like where's the Welcome Wagon if ever someone has to introduce us we don't know what to do we don't go outside of our house we're afraid of people like the husband's would mow their lawn that's the only time you would see him and tell someone made huge effort to go to their house and I had a friend who was lonely next to me for a year before he met anyone and finally made the effort to meet someone we're the opposite my mom said it is all on you responsibly as a Christian like Jesus to go meet your friends so yeah and I'm an I'm an introvert extrovert meaning I get energy by by being when people are really really in close to or by being alone I don't want to meet new people every day to get energy I I do that sometimes doesn't give me energy it takes energy so for me I was like oh dang it I forgot meet these people so I go mean enough people for my sister who's an introvert I mean all her friends and all my friends and every place we went to them over and say this is my sister Jennifer and she would meet already friends seriously that's what happened but I realized and it took an act of will to do I realized and being the senior pastor for a number of years before Jen and hona took it over one of the big complaints I had is people are saying I just don't feel like people are making enough effort and that's not Kingdom Kingdom is you actually love first and you have expectation that you're gonna have to love first before somebody loves you back especially when you enter into a new community a new workplace because you're the new person which means everyone already has a context and agreements for how they relate and you're the new person so instead of waiting for them to all come after you and that's Kingdom Kingdom as somebody should come love me Jesus already did and that means you get a love are you gonna go out even if you're brand new and you're like I don't know how to talk to people neither do I and I've been here for 12 years so as you come to me and I'm socially awkward yes I am like hi Sean I just want to say hi I'm like hi that's as far as we get cuz I'm awkward you know like I'm not the easiest person I'm awkward at times but you have a responsibility out of the love of God to build friendship to love first it's selfless love which comes from Philippians 2:5 through seven have this in mind among yourself which is yours in Christ Jesus who though he was in form of God did not consider himself equality God to be a thing to be grasped but made himself nothing taking on the form of a servant and whenever you enter into a new environment you have to enter into the form of the servant I'm here to serve you out of love and that's hard for us as humans do because we have entitlement that we think everybody needs to serve us it's just it's I have three and a five year old that's who they are they're like why aren't you serving me right now because you have to learn how to put on your own socks cuz you're your teachers are complaining to me put my sock on dad no that turns into a battle my daughters are entitle already do you think that we have to serve them so it's in human nature but man when you practice godly nature and say I am actually here to serve not to be served you will not only be served in amazing ways but you'll have the benefit of reaping the fruit for the labor of where you served and that's here on earth and in heaven with eternal motivation but we also get blessed here last thing is well I'm not gonna go over to actually first nessam only is for 16 through 17 it just talks about how we all get to get raised in Christ there's there's a time Jesus is going to return I don't know my ass khatallah gee I'm kind of in-between some things right now so should you be because there's so many beautiful theologians who are defining these things if you want to read a good book read Chris Dalton's book about eschatology it's really interesting but Harold Everly has an interesting one that really changed my dad my dad was like a super pre-trib like rapture guy you know like he's gonna work you know we're gonna miss all the tribulation I had introduced in the new book it's like I have to change the whole way I think all we need to share together on this is that we all know Jesus is coming back yeah that's all we need to know in the context of that when he comes back if he comes back and you're like super low like oh you're the person who didn't actually do anything with the investment he made in you you're like I buried it here it is that's it's under here here's the here's a little talent you gave me he's gonna looking at what I have the most amazing people in LA that I put you right next to I literally designed your life to be here right now and you hid your talent are you kidding me like you could have become the dream that you had in your heart but it only happens my social integration it only happens by loving it only happens my sacrifice and servanthood it only happens because you go to that eight weeks of home group you know one of the statistics here that I missed today and this the second service was that they were doing a study on people who were coming out of loneliness so they were saying one of the things that you can do to come out of loneliness is is to practice being around people the same group of people like eight times like in a class we have hope they didn't have live groups in the study because it wasn't a Christian based study that if you'll just be for a familiar face for eight weeks in front of somebody else that by the end of eight weeks they'll feel like you were their friend just by just by distance all that like me like we not goes away all the others have goes away in those respect you know you're like wait how do I know you so well you know like it's that kind of thing where it's like you just like home to me now cuz you're around me all the time I feel safe with you just eight times cause those people to feel a different chemistry with you and so I just think of like you know just being present just being connected just saying I'm gonna go to Life Group any times I'm gonna go serve on the team whatever I can do video animation I'm gonna do video stuff I'm gonna do that I'm just gonna do that for you know commit for a season and just by just by saying yes to something I'm just I'm doing Church centric but it could be at work it could be at school it could be in the industry or whatever the beautiful thing about being a Christian and doing this is that we have a different vehicle of what we count as a success than people in the world do like I was sharing the story but Michelle Lots when her and Dan took over the team she has a gift that's phenomenal we could just listen to her every week but she has raised up other people that she's not even intimidated by that some of them sometimes do better in certain songs in her or do bet you know like that some of them shine more than her at times or whatever and she doesn't care she's just so enjoying raising people up and seeing a community of friends birth not just people on a worship team who show up at a certain time but she's seeing a community of a relationship birth through a worship community that's such a beautiful thing her and Deanna are building so well and I look at that as an example I can her goal was just a normal goal it would be well I'm gonna be here this is my stage I'm gonna sing I'm developing me I'm developing people to develop me the whole thing but instead she's coming in like a friend a spiritual spiritual unity friend like what we're talking about it's just coming in saying I want to see people develop there won't be a mom I want to see people coming to who they are like I want to see this turn into something else and so I want to encourage you guys you have three takeaways number one is you have to have more than three friends so if you don't have one friend one third of our society doesn't so that means probably a good and it's the same in the church as the world probably about 33 percent of you don't have friends in this room that are current right now in your life in LA I want to encourage you to be a friend to be real present be real intentional today's Rosh Hashana it's a new year you know today sundown and literally look for people in your life and just think don't think do I have chemistry with them what could they bring to me don't think that just think are they somebody that I would feel worthy of spending time with that's all you got to say as if somebody I would feel worthy of spend time with not because of what they can bring me or do for me or whatever else is it somebody who is worthy to spend time with and number two I'm gonna encourage you to do that or to commit to something that would cause you to be present with people so whether it's a class whether it's a life group whether it's something else that's going on in your life that you have an opportunity for but get involved with something that would be a community builder in your life number three I want you to pray and ask God to show you like he showed Jesus like he showed Barnabas people for who they truly are in God see them after his spirit not after your eyes see them for the redemptive value not their current value and their current value might be their redemptive value but you can't see it with your natural eyes that's God constantly told people the Bible you don't see what I see you're not looking for what I'm looking for man if we could see what he was looking for we would become the friends with the people who become champions later on you you'd become friends of those people and you'd be part of the thing that made them champions and vice versa we have to see who God sees the way he sees them okay let's stand a lot of men just got back from man camp one of the men have a 50% harder time developing long-term relationships and they typically go off of chemistry more than off of logic with friendships you'd think it'd be women who would but it's men who go off of chemistry versus logic so I'm gonna encourage you if you're a man and you have a hard time if you don't if you can't picture three male friends that you actually do life with right now I'm gonna encourage you to like really ask God to show you who did you fight because we need you as a friend here in the house but also you need friends in the house and I just I think there's a lot of lonely men in the city who are just used to being very powerful people they're around all kinds of people but they're lonely in the midst of being around a lot so I'm gonna encourage you now this isn't about loneliness it's about spiritual unity and friendship but I believe God wants to heal the lonely so I'm gonna pray over everybody and everyone who's watching online and I believe God's gonna touch you with Revelation on how to overcome loneliness and then those of you who we're gonna pray into the bigger group we're gonna pray that God gives you eyes to see and both of you could all you can have the same thing but Holy Spirit come thank you so much for everyone here I pray Holy Spirit that you would come and show us how to be a friend that's your job you are the friend we pretty would show us how to be friends so we pray that you would show us God people that you want us to connect to and then this that I got to pray for those who are lonely God you set the lonely and Families one of your favorite things that you did on the cross is you killed loneliness forever you've connected us to the Father in a real way tangible way that's eternal and everlasting so god we pray that you would send your spirit into our Friendship Circle redefine it reformat I add to it change it do whatever you want to do but Lord we pray that you would make us thrive in the way that you wanted us to thrive relationally thank you Jesus that you modeled even 12 close relationships and that was probably multiplied by all the women who weren't mentioned so it's probably good 20 to 30 relationships that became your your community and then you had the three that were like your best best besties and then you had John who was self proclaimed your best friend and God we pray that he best friends do that don't they someone comes and goes oh horn is my best friend I'm like oh that's nice for you to believe in a delusional world that's cute best friends do that you know it's Holy Spirit we pray that you would help us to bond and connect we pray for this church expression 58 and all the churches in the city I prefer Hillsong and Zoe and Oasis and and Hollywood Presbyterian and Bel Air Presbyterian all that and one church and all the churches that are in our region God all the ones I'm not mentioning I pray Lord that you would blast the spirit of community and real friendship not just built around doing things together not just built around ministry activities and missions and all these things but true community that's spiritual unity God and I pray that you would do it so much so because I know you want to build relationship not only in our houses but from one house to another and we want a family of affection in Los Angeles and I pray it would start here with us or that you would just help us to choose relationship help us to choose love and I just pray even as Rosh Hashanah starts that God would set you up for a new year that he'd give you revelation we pray that you would even have time to even if you didn't intend it that God would set up time with you to speak to your heart about you and about your life in your new year in Jesus name Amen you [Music]

Channel: Expression 58

Views: 9,540

Rating: 4.9491525 out of 5

Keywords: shawn bolz, bolz ministries, expression 58, expression58, e58, jen toledo, jennifer toledo, cherie bolz, jona toledo, relationships, holy spirit, connection, los angeles, revival, church, glendale

Id: TZXk6OC1lvA

Length: 40min 39sec (2439 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 11 2018