(Audience cheering) You know, if as I've
mentioned every night, as I've mentioned every night our a week in San Francisco would
simply not be possible without the generous help of Intel, the world's biggest manufacturer
of microchips Intel, I will tell you has been very generous. When this week started, I didn't know much about that company. I really didn't. So I
wanted to see firsthand who would be foolish enough
to sink money into this show. (audience laughing) So I decided to visit their headquarters in nearby Santa Clara, [woman] Yeah to learn more about, to
lean more about Intel (audience cheering) I brought a camera crew
along. Here's what happened. (audience cheering) We're here at the Intel headquarters in Santa Clara, California. Intel was the world's
leading chip manufacturer, or so they tell me and the first thing you
notice about Intel is it's, they're a little bit controlling. They heavily actually have
a sign here on the floor telling you exactly where to stand. If you wanna take a
picture of the Intel sign. (audience laughing) Not here, not here, but here. (audience laughing) Hi, your name is Don Beatty, I'm a senior marketing manager in the consumer client
services group at Intel. You're gonna take us through
Intel, is that right? That's right. First of all, Don, I love
what you guys have done with the color here. I think the gray, works
very nicely with the gray, which works well with the grayish blue. (audience laughing) Oh my God. (dramatic sound) (audience laughing) We really tried to keep a very similar working environment. Basically everyone at
Intel, is(indistinct) good. It's good, It makes people
feel that they're all basically the same, that
there is no individuality. There's no hope, (audience laughing) there is no sense, that
life has possibilities. Look at H10, Is that what you'd see in a parking garage? (audience laughing) Where exactly you are? We try to mark the general areas. So you may tell a coworker
"I'm over by pole H10." Right? Which is better than, "You
know those pretty flowers near the window, I'm near those". (audience laughing) (upbeat music) (audience laughing) (whispering) I'd like to introduce
you B10, this is C10. (audience laughing) Hi, how are you doing? C10, B10, I think you
two should have lunch together over at C9 today. (audience continues laughing) Please do not move this
chair from this cube. (upbeat music) (audience cheering) This is the Intel cafeteria, a giant room filled with some of the
biggest nerds in the country, but in any society, there is a hierarchy, and here they are, the chess club, (audience laughing) the super nerds. So you guys, you come
over here and you play chess and you don't talk
to the others do you? Unless we have to. Unless you absolutely have to. Unless you absolutely have to. Do you play chess? Me? I did a long time ago. I like to play hungry hungry hippos, (audience laughing) do you know that game? I dominated that game. I destroy at that game. This is Kayvon, is that correct? Yes, that's correct. And Kayvon, what do you do? I'm a factory manager. Here's where you make the chips. That's where we make the chips. Okay. And it has to be a clean
environment, is that right? Yes, clean is actually
a little understatement. It has to be ultra clean. Let me ask you something, I like to carry around
this tube of dryer lint. Just for good luck. (audience laughing) I sealed this up pretty
good, that's scotch tape. Yes That's the best tape you can buy. Yeah... This top, sometimes just pops off, and the it just flies out.
Oh then that's a big no no. Is it making you nervous. Yeah, yeah. (audience laughing) ( mumbling) (indistinct) hairnet on, Hairnet Yes You know we look like "Laverne & Shirley" (audience cheering) We are probably going by, (Kayvon laughing) There we go. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. So, so now we put on these are gloves from all the way small to the large one. I would need the, I
got large hands ladies. (audience cheering) (mumbling) (Kayvon laughing) Okay, good job. Nice job. First step, you got the hood on. Now you're gonna put your gown on. I'm not a child. (both laughing) (upbeat music) (audience cheering) Oh, look. Yeah Stretching. See that's where I am. Is that you? Yeah, that's me. Hey that's Kayvon. Can you show us what you
did? Show us how you do it. (upbeat music) You should uh... Yeah, let's see the other one. (audience laughing) Very nice This is where you check the chip? That's where we check the chip. All right, do you mind if I take a look? Yes, please. (upbeat music)(audience cheering) Oh Kayvon. We have this thing called laminar airflow. So air is always
circulating because we want to always clean up the particles. (audience laughing)(indistinct) and now you're heading
out for the phase three. From there on, we are gonna
go to a proper manufacturing (siren beeping) (doors opening) Intel actually has a museum,
here it is behind me. And I'm told that there's a group of second graders
visiting the Intel museum. So let's go see what's going on. Was this your first
choice for a field trip? [Children] No (audience laughing) This shows you, the sterile environment where they make the chips,
isn't that exciting? [Children] Yeah. Look at this, In 1987, the
801C186 embedded processor in surface Mount technology was announced. It's the SMT package, right? [Children] Yeah. (audience cheering) You guys want a fun life? [Children] Yeah. It's called a cubicle, (audience laughing) can you say cubicle? [Children] Cubicle. Can you say confined space? [Children] Confined space. Can you say lifeless environment? [Children] Lifeless environment. Yes hold it, you say, you say I have to stay very, very late again. Honey, I need to stay
very very late again. Intel is making me work and work and work. Intel is making me work
and work and work again. (children giggling) And they won't put pretty
colors on the wall. And they won't pretty colors on the wall (children giggling) And I wanna come home. And I wanna come home. But I can't come home. I can't come home.I feel
like I need to get my boss and throw him out the window. (children laughing) What the... (children laughing) Oh, this kid needs counseling. (upbeat music) (audience cheering) I did wanna say ... The employees at Intel are a
of course. They're very nice. They were very helpful.
They were terrific. No wonder, Intel is the world leader
in microchip innovation. In fact, there's only one brand in the Bay area that's closer to my heart. I'm speaking of course
about Sam Wo's Restaurant (dramatic music) (indistinct) Sam Wo's, a perennial
Chinatown favorite for over a hundred years. Snoop dog coming up, we'll be right back. Stick around(indistinct)
And they were in 14nm back then also...
I wanna see the Snoop Dogg interview. Lol
I imagine Intel would do anything to get this kind, or any kind of good PR right now.
The chess club was cringy af. Rest was amazing.
Conan in a bunny suit was all I needed in life. 😍