CIOPPINO! Bert Kreischer with Fighter & The Kid Bryan Callen & Brendan Schaub: SOMETHING'S BURNING

here we go something's burning with two of my favorite people in the world Bryan Callen and Brenda Shaw the fighter in the kid literally change the game in podcast Mass revolutionaries everybody I love what are we cooking today doesn't matter because we're going in with your expertise right off the [ __ ] I know this well everybody a little young for my taste but we're gonna take it anyway if you follow Brendan on Instagram you know that he is the sneaker King so I brought my heroes kicks out and I wanted you to break them down and cuz I love him and my wife hates them either doh and if you know anything about Brian from the fight companion they do with Joe Rogan he is a wine aficionado he knows his wife so Brian I thought we'd start with your wine you tell me what you think and then you break down my kicks by the way D'Elia already said he liked some I love for real I love for real are these are Pegasus's oh but a hybrid yeah you know what I look for and I'm not kidding when I look for shoes or I look for a circular pattern here because when I street fight I'm glad I made a circular movements so I fight in a circle you need a grip on the street bro well you need grip when you're when you're bearing down and getting low but I'm I'm in the air most of the time as you know Oh onions we got some shopping to do we've got some mixing to do and we have some killing to do gentlemen today we were making cioppino what is cioppino it is keto that's all the [ __ ] I know I know how you guys eat so I wanted to make sure we could have something that you guys could eat just vegetables and protein brother yeah don't call him brother he's the picky one you use the one with allergy later you lose yourself no great no we're making cioppino so we've got clams we've got shrimp we've got vegetables we've got onions celery jalapeno when you said we're killing something this is the video that's gonna get flagged by YouTube's gentlemen dear yourself to go mad you'll see slant fine you're a hunter you've hunted Brian you do something once and then I do it yeah do it I've hunted three times four times yeah and I've slain I slain a number of deer this is not true because Brogan and I know he's trying to get me go hunting with him I refused to my mom's like part of PETA she would kill me pretty serious yeah big deal you're my girl like that's not gonna hate this so with Brian he always talked about hunting I never wanna go with him and Rogan and then the one time they went deer hunting he sent me a picture and this is exactly I don't go it looked like they dropped the hottest mixtape of 1980 just Rogen's behind this little baby deer who's clearly sick that they killed behind it like this with Basie a rocket-launcher rinds in the front like this and this little port there was so sick he knows we slowed it you guys made the picture that makes everyone unlike it on Facebook yeah the thing was it was nibbling grass and I felt like it was it was insulting me with its freedom wait did you shoot it or bow and arrow it I shot it from a distance like a little baby I showed it with a wind back three how does like a coward let's roll with from up from 150 yards which anybody can do do you still hunt yeah [Laughter] house hunting macho now I just like you do you're in there freezing your [ __ ] no well like campaigns the Rogan does is hunky with like arrows and stuff like that but if you have a GPS system and heat-seeking bullets associate the only time I went hunting we were hunting boar in Hawaii they showed me one of the baby boars who was cute as hell and I squeezed his nose I went I'm not killing that thing and then it'd be very quiet while while you hunt these boars so what I did is I put in my life directly up and was really laughs for some purpose I warned all of them the guy goes this the first trip we've never caught anything with that's crazy you guys ready yeah I don't know this calls for crabs and so we got to kill and clean the crabs okay now the key is there's a humane way to kill a crab in an inhumane way and it's a matter of time it's ten seconds so you've got to shoot it in the dick and shoot it in the eyes what [ __ ] and so you lift up its dick and then milk just watch all right let me get my hand on my pants who told you is the best way to kill her crap this is so cruel okay by the way grab him from behind oh they pinched on yeah they got pinchers they're alive dude he's a cool crowd you gotta kill him you know what he's in the insects you know what why don't we make these pets go by everyone he's in the exact family we have to kill him you're a [ __ ] fighter yeah I mean we kill animals so this is his penis oh hold on it's not as bad as you think I'm out man you stop it right there and then you got her real quick within 10 seconds stab it right there okay here we go he's dead we got it we got it he's dead and now we got to pull his shell off I would make sure he's dead for you just getting him alive it's like a shitty accident if someone's like Kay Brad you want drive to Burbank Rosie I can't alive and YouTube how to do this see no bird and then we got the shell off this is the good stuff right here and so all we got to do you're gonna cook that this right here is what makes the sauce I don't think you know that I don't think you know that I think you're winging this and that looks like poke that looks like definitely haribol is what makes the sauce and you only have ten more crabs to go no I can't kill this many crowd come on kill these crabs dude are you sure that's what makes yes this is the sauce the brains this is the room yeah I talked to Anthony Bourdain about it really really now you're making this up I'm not eating that this is a terrible show hey I know let's get McDonald's you know why can't we make like a nice chili I feel like you made your very nice like a chili yo you're doing you pulled it with all your might you risk alive who wants to do the next one youtuber real quick oh no oh my god dude oh but you're making me throw it's 2014 that's when you eat this is definitely what you get rid of that and we just seat the legs like a goddamn regular person I'm gonna watch this and I'm gonna kill it humane is extremely graphic whoa Oh like that wasn't that I can choose balance right there's a bird skin and I can smell the death all right that's exactly the same crops exactly the same thing but it's different it's an Asian guy doing it when bird did it was scary you know it should have done it's a pufferfish let's not start googling new recipes now I'm just saying look Bert he threw that part away no and you're keeping that she no no that's how you make GOP no you got to make the guts this is the this is the good juice I've seen enough Food Network to know I'm gonna do it cuz I can do it quickly and I can do it humanely okay here we go I'm gonna hold them there we go dad yeah yeah definitely [ __ ] daddy's cut in half and then we empty all this [ __ ] oh yeah good job Bryan - it really got nine more to go get on it nine more there's no way we're supposed to eat his brains by the way I'm not certain I [ __ ] knew it I don't think you eat that I've never eaten that in crab bro the name is Joe something's burning how hard do you think I research see you didn't with her research at all man we're not eating that [ __ ] that's toxic cut up those eight remaining ones for us so what so I want the dog keep oh that's a big boy that is a [ __ ] big guy neither one you have desire to keep on these things as pets not at all goddamn you're good at that oh you'd better be dead you got a lot of crabs bro this is expensive huh yeah wait we should drink before we [ __ ] start killing these crabs not a bad idea have a cocktail ya know better about it you know you're gonna do it the meat dobro you throw them away this is the good stuff oh we know you two like to use legs useful put the legs in there we put the lights on shitty guts here's know what the [ __ ] he's doing we're making crab know what's gonna happen all three of you get sick of [ __ ] for this that's that's a yes so you're saying to me we [Laughter] killing crabs trying to be humane about it you get your cover not [ __ ] a Vampire Slayer please YouTube how to cook I'm on it man this year he's anyone know a [ __ ] chef you're supposed to be the chef this is your show no Brennan you're gonna be shocked at how good this is I can't wait till you guys see the turnaround of these guys going bird not bad cioppino house no wine Brian kill the live crowd with an icepick by pulling off their bats an excellent wine and by the ways of 2015 it's very young but it still kicks ass yeah Cheers cheers to get sick and killing crabs I like your way of cake cutting their heads off that was impressive mine was really [ __ ] brutal if you can blur that out and just don't blur it out and people have to understand Brian will you give some sort of speech about how be cool with what you harvest if that's what you're gonna eat you you I feel like yeah we all eat we all eat food essentially that and we don't know where it comes from and the truth is that life eats life and if you're gonna eat meat which you probably should you should do yourself yeah now the animals gonna die and just like you're gonna [ __ ] die yeah you know what bothered me is how how just non-sworn you're about killing these things where's the intestines and all that stuff we're just doing that everything brains truth is you could eat the whole thing yeah you can eat the whole thing oh that's the truth be like I'm just agreeing with Brian's age with me no listen to him he's on brand for this you know fishermen will tell you that you can eat pretty much everything in the city Brennan put your finger in its pincher I give you I'll give you 20 bucks I dare you does it hurt like yeah if it just do it they're pretty sedated he's on nyquil these things are so sedated if you put them in ice water ice they get pretty dead chill out I love how you've turned on us Brian yeah me tell you what throw into it you went from Sarge I don't want to kill the village to like flame throw these [ __ ] that's what happens to me that's what I line up - we're still killing I think we're you don't creepy you look right now with your bottom teeth all [ __ ] up like that smiling like that what do you mean hey man some of crabs take it easy huh we can't leave them in there they're gonna just die okay are you ever afraid that this part of being a man is gonna disappear or guys just incessantly break their friends balls no no way in the woke future over there like I understand you're transgender but you're only half transgender yeah you're a little too good at killing those crabs my man I know it when I have a job to do I do the job guess I can't believe how good you've gotten a type you like the Khmer Rouge of crabs anybody know that reference Khmer Rouge Brendan I don't know I'm too young 1980 Peter new wave band oh yeah no Communist revolution in Cambodia and Pol Pot who was responsible for I don't know probably the death of three million Cambodians at least a million and a half a real monster and got away with it and then died peacefully in Thailand never brought to justice this might be my perfect episode because we get to share this beginning to end and you've never lose all demographics I'm not kill I haven't eaten today guys I did not either I had three beers in a podcast all right parsley rosemary garlic jalapeno oregano is there some sort of noodle I should be making or something no no no cioppino sceeto bro that's why I made it for you guys thanks bro Kido I'm starving [ __ ] about how many person eaters do you think you have right 200 you serious yeah right 200 are you aware of how much that looks nice it's very strange do they paired me up with a stylist I feel like I'm more into fashion than he is I'm constantly hitting the mob stuff like that hey Brian I had to you don't need that much but it's too much oh yeah still it's going to anyway but it's not measuring it he's just gone it's more of a feeling you know sure that's how real chefs do it bro four cans of tomato sauce all I know what Brendan can do well I was like killing crabs man tomato sauce on it say no more you know they make automatic like this game same hands bro there's some strong hands the overhead shot of this is gonna be unfuckin usable because there is a nightmare here okay we're ready to go with the guts the tomato sauce by the way I think we need more tomato sauce don't wait really good roll so we just use small Tomatoes what was that one the very area this is gonna sound like a bad idea at first but should we scoop all this juice on the table into this bowl now I'm gonna pass on that I think we're good now okay we had this that into there that sounded is disgusting and then we should probably grow protein appropriate right we should just fill up to the top of with protein so we won't overload it this is a burnt Callan sha mix up game did we supposed to put this in there I didn't its parsley its parsley thanks a lot dr. no-help just out of curiosity I always had a problem with girls turning it off what do you mean I could be funny I could be great got into the bedroom and I couldn't turn it off you still want people go sexy I started to end up being like hey but you did not have a top problem turning it off so I would like to do a role play I'll be the girl yeah and I want to see you be funny Brian and then turn it off okay okay you're asking for trouble all right I'll start it off just so devious cleanliness I've seen Brian do this many of times okay let's get an appropriate amount of clams now wait you know how to do this right nope any clam that's open you throw away first we go clams then crabs then prawns rosemary I got one please [ __ ] rosemary in there hold on you don't put an entire branch of god dnumber rosemary in there and ruin everything god damn it Burt do a little [ __ ] measuring in your life clams and then stir it up a little bit nope oh yeah now give it a stir I feel like clams are overrated man you know what they're the sunflower seeds of the earth I agree dude a bit and a lot of work number two it's a horse [ __ ] animal you're right it's a horse crab legs what are they of the ocean they say that their nutritional bonanzas but i think it's [ __ ] okay and then i don't know guys that was a let me get in there Hart got those weak arms you're right use your strength if you don't stir too much you want it layered you want the clam okay 404 there that's perfect and then we want to get super [ __ ] hot [Music] here we go guys yeah I know I didn't deal with a little burn all right here we go this is good one you like it yes I call mr. Rosetti huh for real one of my top three episodes I've done I've only done three so here's what I'm gonna do Brendan I'm gonna have you pull out the protein and plate us some protein each and even amount and then I'm gonna pour in some broth deal okay and I'm gonna bring the pan over to you you sit there look cute since I saw oh my god smell that tell me that doesn't smell fantastic that looks great cioppino who's ready for the broth I think so honestly it smells good thank you that actually looks good thank you I worked that broth looks good as spa thank you we worked that broth looks good as good you know what crab guts are the [ __ ] well you know try to get the crab crab crab crackers I'm pretty excited for this I'm gonna start with the broth and I'll tell you how I feel the brought to you - that's delicious really is goods delicious it's not enough oregano in my opinion but come on barb that broth is fantastic it really is nice we're all gonna get sick but I'm proud of you guys oh this is Kido this is veno this is how a man should live so guys anything to promote when's it come out for god sakes with our track record in four weeks you know what I think at 51 if I really apply myself I can be a [ __ ] major star by that time I'm 52 it should be noted someone thought he was gonna get sick and he's murdering this cioppino right he ate all of his cheap Pinot you know my favorite part of this episode is gonna be I haven't figured out how to end them round robin to figure out what a great catchphrase for me would be and that's how it's done yeah hey guys cioppino it's just like stand-up comedy it's a lot better when black guys do it hey guys cioppino it's a lot like riding a bike if you do it wrong you're [ __ ] gonna hurt the next day unless you take steroids guys cioppino it's a lot like being a thespian right Brian I've always wanted to be taller GOP you know it's a lot like drying your [ __ ] on your bed can't lose there I'm self-conscious about my left arm it's thinner waking up with cioppino hands it's like oh [ __ ] who did I kill or what did I eat cheap you know it's a lot like fighting in the UFC close it close it it's a real knockout hey guys if you're interested in the recipe we just cooked take a look at this website right here then you can find out how to make our cioppino and yes you use the guts check out our podcast fighter in the kid they're both on tour Bryan Callen calm ffs fat kid teeth back I don't think it's there this is a trickling off just cutter sound and we'll just keep talking no I like this oh yeah do one of those that's a good call yeah yeah well I'll say something and you all laugh ready oh yeah okay I'll say that four times when we have a great time thank you so much and then you say something and we'll all laugh and then fade out sitcom II hey guys thanks a lot for coming to something so much it's been a blast yeah human beings shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun [Music] thank you Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring this episode of something's burning if you're like me and stockpiling for the inevitable Armageddon then you know two things number one it's gonna take like a year to get the weapons you need you also know that it is ridiculous to go to the store and get your razors now it's time to try Dollar Shave Club for a limited time Dollar Shave Club is basically giving away their shower and shave starter set to new members for only five dollars this starter set features their executive razor and three trial size versions of their most popular products that help you stay fresh and clean in your first box you'll receive their shave butter body wash and one wipe Charlie butt wipes you'll also receive their executive razor which includes their premium weighty handles and a full cassette of cartridges after the first box replacement cartridges are sent for only a few bucks a month this offer is exclusively available at dollarshaveclub.com slash ATC that's dollarshaveclub.com slash ATC or click the link in the description

Channel: All Things Comedy

Views: 2,232,584

Rating: 4.9105635 out of 5

Keywords: ATC, ALL THINGS COMEDY, bill burr, al madrigal, podcast, atc podcast, all things comedy podcast, Bryan Callen, bert kreischer, bert kreischer cooking, Cooking show, brendan schaub, The fighter and the kid podcast, the fighter and the kid, UFC, somethings burning, cioppinno, recipe, cooking food, food, cook, how to, how to cook, tasty, kitchen, recipes, chef, cooking, the cooking show, tutorial, cooking videos, how to cook that, learn how to cook, the machine, bert the machine

Id: xwhpk5KQKO0

Length: 20min 32sec (1232 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 19 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Rubixcube3034]

This is actually really good. Callen is hilarious - not sure why he gets so much hate.

[u/Drunk_Lahey]

"Gotta get shoes with the circle pattern so I can rotate in street fights." Callen is on fire in this i'm dying.

[u/thepresentisagift]

"I can be a thoroughbred real quick"

Holy shit, I haven't laughed this hard in so long

[u/1v1_me_quickscopes]

Man, Bryan is killing it in this episode. I've only seen two episodes so far but I'm not sure how you beat this one. He pretty much just takes over the show.

[u/Kvuthe]

Callen fucked every female in that set and Brendan had an existential crisis after that.

[u/Atillak]

God I love Brent, he brings out the goof in people. Edit:fixed Brunts name

[u/[deleted]]

This was fun.

[u/sweatybeard]

Bryan Callen is god damn hilarious, I was cracking up

[u/samwheat90]

Anyone know where you can get the shirt that Bert is wearing?