Christopher's CRAZY Country School Bus Stories

this kid is like riding on the hood of the bus like flipping off the whole school bus as they pass by in 10 or 12 years on a school bus as a kid a lot of funny things happen and these are three funny things that happened to me when i was riding a school bus the first of which happened uh early early one morning in the fall now i live further out in the country than the other country kids that i live with so i was one of the first kids on the school bus in the morning and the bus came even long before sun even came up you know it was uh not to sound like somebody's granddad but we had to walk a mile down a dirt road in the dark waiting on the side of the highway for the bus to come along and i was probably i don't know 9th grade maybe maybe early 10th grade before i had a license something like that so i'm one of the older kids on the bus and we sit in the back and the younger kids get in the front they're sort of that hierarchy of you know power struggle and whatnot so i'm in the back with the other older kids and on this particular morning we had a substitute bus driver she was we only had the same substitute bus driver any time our normal bus driver linda was not in we had this substitute called diane we always liked it when diane was a bus driver because diane got flustered easily she startled easily and she didn't really rule with the iron fist that linda did on the bus so we could generally get away with things that we could not normally get away with uh when linda was at the wheel so this trigger morning you know diane's driving rather nervously and we're all in the back trying to think of like what would be a funny thing to do to diane today me being a early student of physics i guess i had a bright idea hey wouldn't it be funny if all of us got on one side of the bus and then right when we get to this there was this one particular curve that you know you topped the hill and if you didn't know the road real well it was kind of a sharp turn to the right and there's just fields around nothing big to hit or anything like that wouldn't it be funny if right in that turn we all jump from one side of the bus to the other side of the bus it'll make the bus wiggle and she'll be startled haha so it becomes this game you know again it's dark sun's not even up yet so with this game we're passing you know to the seat to the next and you know we're collecting kids the bus is pretty full at this point there's probably i don't know how many kids fit on a school bus 40 50 45 kids whatever so you know we passed this this little whisper down to the bus so everybody starts slowly creeping over to the right side of the bus and there's a few holdouts of course but for the most part we get about 45 kids have all snuck to the right side of the school bus and there's you know five six kids to a seat and we're all timing it to right when we get to this one curve so sure enough you know diane's driving along and you know she's driving the bus and she tops the hill and because she sees the curve and it surprises her and she kind of stabs the brakes and turns into it right at that moment we yell now and everybody jumps to one side of the bus when we planned this out it was going to be this really funny you know weight transfer the bustle wiggle and we'll all laugh but what really happened was that 45 kids down from kindergarten up to high school let's say there's an average of 100 pounds per kid and there was about 45 kids that's about 4 500 pounds jumping from one side of the bus to the other which functionally equivalent was like getting broadsided by ford explorer so the swerve that we were all expecting was much more dramatic the bus radically leaned out to the left in this turn which of course made it cross the center line dan like over corrects the bus to the right which of course then sloshes this all back into the aisle we trying to get to our feet she over corrects now you've got 4 500 pounds of kids now staggering between the aisle of the bus which is just amplifying this increasing oscillation and finally just so out of control diane's doing these crazy tank slappers in the school bus and we go right into a ditch i'm not a big ditch just enough to get the bus stuck but the bus kind of you know goes off into the right kind of plows into the ditch and we're all falling in the floor and you know of course diane's terrified she's worried if we're all okay we're of course everybody's okay but we now feel terrible because we actually caused a bus crash uh you know a few of the older kids we were old enough to realize this point that like you know diane might lose her job over this so we just feel terrible now but at the moment though we're all stuck in a school bus it's leaning at a somewhat precarious angle uh the the bus was in the ditch enough that the little accordion door thing didn't really seem like a good idea to open it so you know we had to open the back door and go out the back way which is pretty exciting so now though rather than playing a funny joke on diane it's now a bitterly cold morning in north georgia and there's 45 school kids standing in a yard freezing our butts off waiting for the sun to come up figuring out what's gonna happen next we get to school late everybody misses their first class which was kind of fun and then uh and diane didn't lose her job she was our substitute several other times but she always slowed down before that turn so the second funny thing that happened with the school bus happened when i actually got to drive the school bus where i lived out in the country i was like the last house on the bus route and at the top of the road i lived on lived my bus driver now i think in the city the buses all go back to some kind of fence or corral or something like that but out in the country the bus drivers just took the bus home it was like their daily driver it stayed at their house if you ever seen south park linda was the prototype for the bus driver on south park she was a very big very strong lady she usually had the sponge rollers in she had this gravelly voice and she would yell at you for anything she ruled that school bus like an iron fist and we were all terrified of linda but linda was a good bus driver and she knew her out and she was a great driver but we were all just terrified of her and she would not hesitate to put the law down i had seen her more than once literally put kids off on the side of the highway and just drive off and leave them but again it's the late 70s early 80s you could do that kind of stuff back then but she would kick him off the school bus or god help you if you got to the railroad tracks and she yelled quiet and you kept talking that bus was in park and she would come back and make you wish you would not kept talking but linda had a son named shane and on weekends and after school shane and i were friends and we would play and we became friends in like first grade so i am six years old shane's seven years old shane had repeated the first grade so he was older than me by a bit and being farm kids we were all just allowed to do things that most kids in the city i guess didn't get allowed to do now we didn't have movie theaters or bowling alleys or cable tv all the fun stuff a lot of y'all had but we got to ride motorcycles and drive trucks and ride horses and in shane's particular case he was allowed to drive their farm truck not only around on the farm like the rest of us were allowed to drive on our farm trucks but he was allowed to get out on the road we didn't get to go far and we were allowed to drive their truck around their farm but around lunchtime we were allowed to get out on this one little country road go about a half mile down the road to his grandmother's house and she would always make us lunch or sandwiches or something like that so you know shane and i both had fair amount of driving experience even being a first grader and what should be a second grader so by the time we were in like fourth grade we were pretty handy behind the wheel i'd learned to drive when i was eight on my granddad's runway we could both drive cars all this kind of stuff so we felt pretty confident so one day lyndon her husband had decided to go over to alabama to get some kind of farm part or something like that you know her husband was a farmer she drove the bus and they left us at home for the day and after driving go-karts and dirt bikes and random things around their farm all these years we decided it'd be fun to drive the school bus so here we are a 10 year old and 11 year old and again we knew how to drive so we get the keys we crank the bus up and we proceed to drive the bus around their farm we're taking turns driving through the yard going around the field roads and we're not doing anything stupid in it but we're driving the school bus so we're of course we're little so we're just driving up there you know doing the door making the little stop line thing flip out flipping the lights off and now we're having a big time we know the land is going to be gone for at least several hours we got plenty of time so we're trading back and forth and during one of these driver switches kind of like the cannonball would be 30 years later during one of these driving switches i get if i'm behind the wheel i get in the first seat chain gets in the wheel and i guess he wasn't quite didn't realize how close i was to the edge of the garden when we parked we switched out so he gets in the bus and proceeds to back up and just sunk the back of the bus right into the garden now we're in trouble this has turned into some ferris bueller type of thing now we've got to get this bus out of the garden before linda comes home so we're you know getting the gears lacking but it's not going we're throwing mud everywhere shane knew how to drive their tractor so there comes a great idea so we run up to the barn we get the tractor we get all the little chains and things we find i'm now in retrospect thinking of the scene as linda saw it as she returned back from alabama she pulls into their yard the school bus is obviously missing warning sign number one but fortunately for her right past where she was normally looking to see the school bus about a quarter mile down the slope there is the school bus in the garden shane's behind the wheel of the tractor i'm behind the wheel of the school bus rooster tells a mud shooting up behind the school bus the tractor is like not making any dent on the school bus front wheels are bobbing up and down we've just got logging chains hooked to everything we could hook it to at the front of the school bus in a desperate attempt to get the school bus out of the yard didn't happen you know linda comes storming down there and her husband was a smaller quieter guy but he's not saying a whole lot but linda's coming down that hill with the sponge rollers and the tank top and we just realized that we had now died so young in our early lives so you know we get drug off the bus linda starts just spanking both of us just backhanded four-handed you know she sends her husband off to call my mom by the time my mom gets there linda's arms numb my mom taps her out my mom takes over beating us we get drugged off to the house of course her husband as an adult managed to get the bus out of the garden i got grounded for i don't know how long but that next night monday morning though right back there on the school bus knowing that i had gotten to drive the school bus but the most amazing thing that i ever saw on a school bus maybe one of the most amazing things i ever saw in my life on a vehicle happened on a school bus one day now this is not the school bus with linda or diane this was the school bus that went to my grandmother's house and i stayed with my grandparents a lot and sometimes i would take that school bus to my grandmother's house now that bus had been my bus route when i was a real little kid and i remember this bus driver's son and i can't remember her name or his name but he was a bad kid now this is 40 years ago this kid i'm in like kindergarten first grade this kid was in high school he is probably somewhere in some sort of hannibal lecter clear plex the glass prison cell somewhere because this kid was just bad i remembered as like a kindergartner like he pulled a knife on me one time on the bus because i wouldn't give up the window seat he wanted another time i remember seeing him with a brown paper lunch bag showing a handgun to some other kids on the bus and he was just always getting in fights and taking your lunch money and bullying people and he was just a bad kid so this is several years later we've now moved elsewhere in the county i'm on a different bus but i did on occasion still ride that bus out to my grandmother's house and one of these days you know i'm on the bus and this kid who's now well into high school he is sitting up front in the seat right behind his mom and he has gotten expelled from school for something and she is just chewing him out just driving the bus yelling at him over her shoulder about how he's gonna get grounded and she's gonna take his car about this time you know we're on this long kind of straight stretch of highway a car comes blowing up behind the school bus like honking its horn now and again i'm fourth fifth grade i don't remember what kind of car this was this would have been like 19 82 83 let's just say it's some kind of early 70s muscle car chevelle something like that i don't remember cars on the tail of the school bus honking the horn the son who was sitting there being just yelled at by his mother about how he's never going to see the light of day again they're going to nail his door his bedroom shut and just never let him see out he jumps up says something awful to his mother runs down the aisle of the bus now flings open the back door of the school bus like which of course the alarm goes off everything flings over the back door of the school bus turns over his shoulder shouts one more same thing to his mother and jumps out of the school bus onto the hood of that car like stuntman style just on the hood kind of grabs the cowling the guy in the car proceeds to just punch it this glorious v8 sound is this trail it passes the school bus and this kid is like riding on the hood of the bus like flipping off the whole school bus as they pass by and they proceed to disappear off into the distance now this is the most amazing thing fourth grade me had ever seen and by the next day this was the talk of the whole school system that this happened now you know i got to see it but kids that didn't even ride that school bus claim they saw it like everybody wanted to be in on the action i was just some dorky kid sitting in the middle seats and i had nothing to do with this situation other than sort of witnessing it from the wrong side of the school bus but that was the most amazing thing i've ever seen happen maybe 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Channel: VINwiki

Views: 227,183

Rating: 4.9529772 out of 5

Keywords: Christopher Michaels, VINwiki, Car Stories, School Bus, country, crash, pranks, accident, georgia

Id: PMDgKc4RVWk

Length: 14min 47sec (887 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 28 2021